Tenafly Library in Tenafly, NJ

Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008
nanny sighting logo Tenafly Library today and saw your nanny, a black woman with a Caribbean accent. We were there for 90 minutes, she arrived shortly after me. With the exception of 5 minutes she spent doing a puzzle suited for a 3 year with your youngest son, who appeared to be 6 or so, she paid your children little mind. The older boy was reading a book on and off but, put his head down several times humming to himself. He seemed disinterested in whatever it was he was reading. As indicated in the pictures. The younger boy was all over the library children's section playing on the chair out of boredom. The entire time I was there, she didn't pick up a single book or help the younger one even find one for himself. He just wandered around the library aimlessly, flipped over on the chair and came over to sit and listen while I read to my son.. For what it's worth, the few times she did look up from her book to answer the children, she seemed pleasant enough to them, but although they seemed to be asking her to help them she never got up from the chair. If you think she is taking your child to the library and reading to them or helping them learn and grow you are mistaken. I know this isn't horrible but she isn't great either. And I am certain it was the nanny because they called her by her name which was Beebie or Phoebe or something.
0 tenafly 10 tenafly 30 tenafly 20 tenafly 4a
I would like to remain anonymous online, but if the parents of these children would like the pictures or to speak with me further, please feel free to pass my info on to them. Thanks!

General Messiness

Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
When I started working for my current family, I was told no housework at all. Just clean out the bottles, bowls and spoons so that they'd have clean things to use to feed the baby with. I started when the baby was 3 months old. So at first he was sleeping a lot and I was able to help out more, by picking up toys, doing dishes, sweeping, and picking up the laundry and tossing it into a basket. As he's gotten older and only taking 1 two hour nap a day I don't get as much done. Monday when I left the diaper genie was getting full, but wasnt full yet. I said something to dad about it, then went home. Today (wednesday) I get there and mom says to me "Can you just make sure you empty out the diaper genie when its full cause dad (she said the name) is getting mad at having to do it all the time". I was shocked. I always make sure their home is clean and picked up before leaving for the day, even though I come in to no clean bottles, bowls or spoons. Most days a full diaper genie. Dishes from their dinner all over the place and empty beer bottles. I'm just many other nannies would be hurt by having that said to them when they always make a point of having the house look spotless, and always arrive to a mess?

Bleecker and LaGuardia in NY, NY

Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nannyFunny/Sweet Nanny Sighting
Yesterday I was making my way to free Cone Day at Ben and Jerry's and, as I was walking along Bleecker, I heard some familiar lyrics that I couldn't quite place. I kept listening, and the singing voice got closer and closer to the point that I turned around and it was a little blonde five-year out BELTING out the Beatles' "All You Need is Love!" He knew every word, and while it certainly wasn't pitch perfect, every single person within earshot was smiling and slightly cracking up.

The best part was, he was totally oblivious to his surroundings–just dancing down Bleecker in red sweatpants and matching sweatshirt, singing. His nanny held his hand and danced along too, filling in the spots he'd miss, though she was having a bit of a hard time since she was cracking up.

I asked the nanny (wondering if she was the mom) if they played the Beatles a lot at home and she smiled and said "His parents love everything 60s!" The kid then told me they, too, were going to free cone day, and started listing off his nanny's favorite flavors, while she struggled to keep a straight face. Nanny had short, dirty blond hair, cut in a bob to just below her ears, and was wearing medium wash straight leg jeans, keds slip-ons, and a white long sleeve shirt. She was also carrying the boy's Transformer's backpack and matching lunch bag.

It was just a really funny few moments, and I'm glad to have been able to witness it.

Nail Salon in the Westfield Mall in Trumbull, CT

Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008
nanny sighting logo Would this bother you? Your nanny takes your 2-2.5 year old with her to a nail salon. She plops the child down and gets her nails and toes done. The child is sitting there bored out of her skull, sucking down toxic nail fumes for almost an hour? And getting constantly corrected and scolded for moving around too much or singing too loud? If your nanny is Hispanic, with long hair, no chin and medium length nails that are now painted a deep red and is wearing jeans with flip flops and is showing off a french manicure on her toes, ask her when she got her nails done! Your daughter is cherubic looking with reddish-blond curled hair and was wearing a red turtleneck with hearts embroidered across the chest. This took place Tuesday, (4/29) between 3-4 PM.

Dag Hammarskjold Plaza in Midtown, NY

Received Wednesday, April 30, 2008
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Who:Your nanny and three year old child at noontime. Nanny is svelte AA woman with a pink knott sweater, blue jeans and tan hiking boots. Child was a boy with short brown hair, green eyes, two tone brown jacket and brown jeans with black nike athletic shoes.
What: The nanny and child were sitting upon the bench. The nanny was talking on the phone and she opened a tote bag. The tote bag was crafted from fabrique and had a photograf of an AA child on it. Out from there, she pulled a box of food. I was curious. I watched the child open the food. Resemblance to plastic lunch box but cardboard. The child opened it all himself- nanny was busy. Then he begins screeching about not wanting it and wanting something better. The kid was screeching like a bird, honest to God I wanted to throw something at him. The nanny barely batted an eye. She reached over and took the box back, rooted around in the bag and pulled out a very large Snickers sweet bar, I am certain it was as said, king size and handed it to the child. The child opened the bar himself and started devouring it. The child was a bit of a pudge, I have to say for you to understand this post. The nanny sits on the phone talking at great lengths as the child is doing nothing but kicking about feet on the bench and eating the candy bar. The nanny pops opens the box of food and trots out a shaped sandwich on whole wheat bread and she eats that. She eats the fruit out of the box. All while talking on the phone and not even looking at the child next to her. The child starts to screech that he is thirsty. She roots around in her bag and produces a bottle of water. The kid throws the bottle of water on the floor. She tells him he has to pick it up. He kicks the bottle across the way. He screams that he wants soda. She ends up giving him a Starbucks glass bottle drink. She picks the bottle up, not him. They left only after after she finished her phone call. The kid is out of control and the nanny so disconnected with your child. Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Does the person who took the time to make such a healthy lunch for a child know that the nanny is eating it whilst feeding your child garbage ?


Garden Of Eden in Brooklyn Heights, NY

Received Tuesday, April 29, 2008
nanny sighting logo I just found out about this blog. Let me post what I saw and when. I hope it isn't too late. An Island nanny, possibly Jamaican was in charge of a little girl who was riding in a stroller. The stroller did not really stand out. The girl had blonde hair and was about 16 months-20 months. The nanny was going to get food and she began an altercation with another patron at the salad bar. She started swearing, screaming at the top of her lungs. The little girl was scared out of her mind, as was I. I have never seen anyone flip out so bad or go so crazy in a public place. I forget the clothing the nanny had on. I remember her voice, her accent and her mean, snarling face. And the child's terrified eyes. This was back on Friday, April 18. Had I known about the blog, I would have told you about this nanny when the details were fresher in my head.

Crosby between Spring and Broome in NYC

Received Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nannyGreat nanny sighting! Crosby between Spring and Broome, NYC.If you have a shortish Asian nanny who takes your daughter out in a cerulean blue backwards-facing Bugaboo, she is adored by your child. I watched the nanny feed your kid, and when she burped up some of the formula, the nanny giggled, patted the baby's stomach, and sweetly wiped away the mess, leaving your daughter with a big smile. She then started singing the itsy bitsy spider and doing the hand motions. Very cute. Parents, she's a keeper!

Beware of Nanny Agencies

Use Care with Nanny Agencies- Los Angeles Times It's perhaps the touchiest decision parents can make: whether to invite a total stranger into their home to look after the kids.Thousands of Southern California families -- those with the financial means, that is -- routinely entrust nannies with this unique responsibility. But finding someone trustworthy is much easier said than done.

You could take your chances with websites like Craigslist, where listings for nannies proliferate. Or, for a fee of thousands of dollars, you could turn to an agency that all but guarantees a hassle-free experience. (Read full article here.)
Thanks to Sue Doe-Nim

The Bat Mitzvah invite that did not come...

Received Tuesday, April 29, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I just want some opinions on this matter to find out if I'm hurt for no reason. I have worked one day per week for a family for 5 years. They have great kids and I love them very much and have a great relationship with them. When I changed jobs a year and a half ago I made sure that the new family I was working for was OK with me leaving early that one day so I could stay on there as one of the children is diabetic and I am now familiar with all that needs to be done. I have recently learned that I am not invited to the daughter's Bat Mitzvah. I was very hurt by this. In 5 years I've gone above and beyond for them (even taking time out of my daily job to help them out on occasion) and love their kids as much as any children I look after 5 days a week.
My question for nannies and parents alike is am I overreacting to this? Should I not be hurt? Also when the time comes should I buy her a present for this occasion or wait until her actual birthday?
To me this feels like I don't mean anything to their family for them to not include me and that's why it is hurtful. Thanks for your opinions.


Starving to the point that is bordering on abuse...

Received Monday, April 28, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Here is my problem.

I nanny children who are severely underweight.

When I am asked to give them dinner, sometimes the calorie count in the meal is under 300!

They are rarely given meat of any kind, for dinner and they are not eating or provided with a healthy, balanced diet by the parents.

Everything they are given is reduced or free of sugar and fat.

When I take them to the swim club in the summer, people stare and make comments. Those who think they are my children have even made nasty comments.

Today, the school sent home a note saying that the children needed to be provided with a proper lunch to get them through the day. I don't prepare their lunch, so I have no control over that. Their lunch consists of a slice of turkey breast on a slice of whole wheat bread, folded over for the younger one who is seven, and two slices of whole wheat bread and two slices of turkey breast for the 10 year old boy. Sometimes they will get a salad instead of the sandwich with a teaspoon of fat free dressing. They also get a snack of 1/2 a cup of oatmeal squares cereal and water sweetened with sugar free, flavored powdered mixes.

The children are suffering from behavioral issues that are escalating, and I believe it's because they are always hungry. If we are at the park, the youngest will beg for food off of anyone there. I always bring "snacks" but the mother and father are both health nuts when it comes to their kids so the approved and provided snacks are not appealing in the least. Usually it's some form or another of shredded oats or unflavored granola. On the rare occasion they are allowed to take a meal in my home, they eat like crazy and anything in sight. I have noticed afterwards their behavior is fine. I had tried to gently approach the mother but she told me that she grew up chubby and no way will she allow her kids to suffer the same fate.

My problem is, I really think these kids are starving to the point that is bordering on abuse. If you saw them without their shirts as I have, you would know what I mean. You can see every bone even each knob of their spine. They constantly ask me for food. other than this issue, the parents, who are well to do, provide these kids with everything they need including love and attention, but I fear for their health. The little one is always getting infections and once, having had to take her to her doctor right from school, he said her immune system is compromised because she is underweight. My mother has advised me I should call CPS on them but I can't bring myself to do that because I fear for the disruption and pain it would bring. But I love my charges and feel they are being starved and as a result, damaged psychologically. Advice is needed please. Thanks

A concerned nanny.

CVS in Larchmont, NY

Received Monday, April 28, 2008
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Where: In CVS on Chatsworth Avenue, Larchmont NY (Westchester County)
When: Mon. April 21, 11:30 a.m.
Who: twin boys (probably 2+ years old) in a twin stroller (brown or dark maroon with striped diaper bag hanging on handles); boys appeared identical, with light brown hair, dressed in blue “croc” shoes and blue jeans but different colored jackets (greenish and tannish, I think)
Nanny: youngish, slender, Caribbean by my best guess but possibly African American.
What: one of the boys had been given a small package of potato chips, and he accidentally spilled some on the floor. The nanny scolded him loud and harshly and at length!! (Including yelling, “You’re going to get a time out RIGHT HERE!!”) As she angrily pushed the stroller out of the store, I saw that the boy who had spilled the potato chips had a totally blank expression on his face (like a deer caught in the headlights), while his twin brother looked as if he were about to cry, or perhaps was struggling not to cry.

So many people still do not understand that this kind of abuse is just as damaging as the kind that leaves visible scars. When parents verbally abuse their children, at least they (the parents) know what was done to the kids; when a “caregiver” does it to children too young (or too scared) to tell the parents, the parents don’t know what their children have suffered, and are at a loss to explain the troubled behavior the abuse causes.


Questa Park in Mountain View, California

Received Sunday, April 27, 2008
nanny sighting logo I took my Grandchildren to the park after work (At 5:00 PM on Friday 4/25/08). I had a 1 yr old ,6 yr old and a 16 yr old with me.
The park was really packed as it was so nice out.
I was at the baby swings while the oldest was watching the 6 yr old on the bars and slide.
I had my purse and phone on the ground by the swing we were using and had to take the baby out for a second to fix his shirt. 3 boys about 6 ,7 & 8 ran over to the baby swings and grabbed them . The one took the swing I had the baby in and I told him I was sorry but I was using that. He kicked my purse out of the way and said "tough" Proceeded to climb into that swing and if i hadn't moved would have been kicked by the kid. His siblings were in the other baby swings . Some parents & nannies took their children out of the swings because these boys were really acting rough around these little toddlers. About 5 minutes later a woman dressed in a blue velour jogger suit, matching hat, Asian ,designer sun glasses and quite pretty came over to the boys and snapped her fingers at them and I started to ask her if she was their Nanny but she ignored me and walked away. Those boys were totally rude and out of control. My eldest Granddaughter told me they had been pushing other kids off the slides. So where was this person when this was going on? On her cell phone. My Grand daughter told me she herself grabbed one of them when they started pushing other kids off the slide and told him to knock off in no uncertain terms. She saw this woman on her phone and paying no attention to these children. I don't know if it was the Mom or not. The kids didn't look like her. It really doesn't matter to me what she was but she certainly didn't give a rats posterior about how those kids behaved. Another lady told me that these children were there a lot and that they did anything they felt like and had seen the nanny drop them off and come back an hour or so later. So maybe it is a nanny, I personally don't know.
If she is the nanny I want the parents to read this and speak to her about controlling these children while in the park. Plus leaving them alone is wrong. When my little Grand daughter was only 2 she was pushed while on the steps going up to the top of a slide and her little arm was broken and if it had been 2 inches further up her arm would have stopped growing. I know a park is a place for kids to run and play, that is why I take them there to get exercise and have fun but I keep a close eye on them too. There are sections in this park for infants and toddlers and then the larger slides and swings and the person that was supposed to be watching those boys should have taken a minute ,got off her cell phone and taken them to the area for bigger kids. She was a rude as those boys.
I asked our Nanny if she had ever encountered this at that park and she said yes and knew who I was talking about. and that many of the other Nannies had talked to her about the way she let these boys behave but she just ignores them . She has nothing to do with the other nannies at the park and just talks on her phone while these boys terrorize the other children .
It is a public park so I guess there isn't much anyone can do about it. I am taking them again this Friday and maybe I will take my camera with me and take pictures and maybe contact the park people. Am I wrong?

I've just been wondering what I could have done better...

Received Sunday, April 27, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Two summers ago I was an au pair for an Italian family with two daughters(ages 6 and 11). They brought me along on their holiday, taking place on some friends' sailing yacht, touring the Mediterranean. Needless to say, I was more than happy to tag along. The boat was fairly large and had a crew of three (captain, mate and hostess). Their friends' had a daughter (age 5). Out of the three girls I was taking care of, the younger two couldn't swim when we started sailing. From the beginning that was my biggest worry, considering the parents didn't make them wear life vests. I tried to constantly watch them. Many things happened during the 20 days we spent on that boat, on which I would like an opinion on how I behaved and what I should have done:
- I was seasick the first few days, and the captain and mate advised me to stay outside as much as possible to avoid it (they did that in front of the parents). They girls preferred to stay inside and play with dolls during the sailing, to avoid the heat, and also to have something to do. They tended to create a rather big mess, that I couldn't control since I was outside. When the sailing stopped, I went inside to clean up a bit, but it always took a certain amount of time, and I was often chided for not cleaning faster. Could I have done anything better, and were the parents unreasonable?
- The crew members didn't speak Italian, so when they had a message to pass to the girls, I translated. One day, the mate mentioned that the wind was unpredictable, and that the sail could turn violently, and therefore the girls shouldn't walk around on the deck. I then explained it to the girls, right next to their mother who heard perfectly both the English version and then the Italian one. Two minutes later, they asked their mother if they could do just what I had warned them against, and she allowed it. My question is: Should I have done something to protect the girls against this potential danger? Even if their mother allowed it, was it still my responsibility?
- At the beginning of the summer, I had promised the girls I would read them one chapter of the Chronicles of Narnia every day (they saw the movie, loved it, and were very excited when I told them it was from a book and there was more of it). I brought the book on the boat, and kept my promise going there. "My" two girls really liked it, but the third girl didn't. Since this was her father's boat, we often changed our games to accommodate her during the day, but I made myself clear from the start that I had made a promise, and that for half an hour every day, she could compromise too (I take promises I make to children very seriously). One night though, she threw a tantrum. I tried to calm her down, offered to do something she liked after this, to no avail. She went crying and screaming to her mother, who turned furiously against me, saying we never did anything she liked. I was close to tears, and really wanted to lash out back, but "my" girls started crying after she left the room, and I had no idea what to do. She then came to see me to apologize, saying she went too far. However, ever since, I've wondered if there wasn't something I could have done better.

Despite those three things, my work for this family was great. The girls were very nice to me, just a bit spoiled, but I guess that's something I should have expected. I've just been wondering what I could have done better.


Nelson Park in Stockton, CA

Received Saturday, April 26, 2008
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Physical description of caregiver: Mid to late 40's Hispanic female, long black hair in a braid kids called her Rosie

Physical description of involved child/children: 2 adorable blond haired children, the oldest a boy was 5ish and the little one a girl was 2ish maybe? The nanny kept calling her Lulubell.

Address or venue of observed incident: Nelson Park in Stockton, CA

Date and time of incident: 4/25/08 around 10:30 am

Detailed description of what you witnessed: I was feeding my charge his snack, and we were watching the kids and their nanny on the slide, because there was a lot of giggles as she was helping them climb up, (it was a double slide). It took a bad turn when the little boy kept getting on his little sisters side and almost squished her, the nanny shouted at him, "I TOLD YOU DON'T DO THAT!" and proceeded to smack his bottom twice, then put him on a time out for one minute. I was appalled, and my poor little charge who's 2 was terrified of what happened.

I did overhear the children's names, and if the parents happen to contact you I will give them to you, just did not want it to be posted unless you think it is necessary. Thanks for your awesome blog!


Friday, April 25, 2008

O photo org by jane
For more information, email Jane.

Chess Cafe - Clark Street Station in Brooklyn Heights, NY

Received Friday, April 25, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny I know this may not be what you usually look for but I had to submit it. Black female nanny, 35 - 45 wearing a white Britney Spears type cap with some shiny things sewn around it. Little curly-headed brownish haired boy in the stroller, they were having a muffin at the Chess Cafe. I could almost physically feel the bond between them, because of the scene I went to work with a giant smile on my face. The nanny had eyes only for the toddler who was giggling with joy. It made me happy just to watch them so I had to submit this. If this is your nanny, you lucked out.

Playgarden on 113th St in Morningside Heights, NY

Received Friday, April 25, 2008
nanny sighting logo I have never done this before, but feel compelled. If you live in the Morningside H area and have a dc named Alexander - brown hair, probably around 2 - 2.5 yo who frequents the Playgarden on 113th St. Your caregiver was really really unkind to him and I would suggest you try to have someone observe her at another time to see if it was an isolated incident. He took his shoes off and she was talking on the phone for about a half hour before she noticed. She then screamed at him, sat him on the bench and told him not to move and then yelled "Zip it" to him over and over any time he made a noise. After 5 minutes or so, he got up off the bench and she didn't even notice. Then a couple of minutes later, noticed and got him, yelling again at him for not listening and telling him to zip it when he started crying. This happened 3 more times. He looked scared and sad. He had a younger sibling sleeping in the stroller who looked very young. Caregiver was an African American woman with very short hair, wearing a jean jacket and black pants, heavy set. I am sure I will be flamed but this interaction was very depressing to watch and I would want to know if it was my kid.


Peeing in Public = No

Received Thursday, April 24, 2008
Dear Parents,
Here ( is another reason why you might want to make sure your nanny takes your child to the BATHROOM when she is out with him. Scary, but people are watching.
*This link is to a picture of a child urinating in public. Some have complained to the link being on this page, but Vanessa submitted this as a warning for nannies in parents. The issue of allowing children to urinate in public has been much debated on this blog and this picture is a crystal clear illustration of yet another reason why it may not be the best idea.

Brookdale Park Playground in Montclair, NJ

Received Thursday, April 24, 2008
nanny sighting logo On Monday, April 21st at around 11am I saw a girl approx 18 - 24 mo. with blond pigtails strapped into a stroller. I took notice because my children would never have sat in a stroller at that age in a playground. She was bouncing like she wanted out initially. The next time I looked I saw her fiddling with her seatbelt. The next time I looked I saw that she had been able to get herself out of the stroller but was still connected and now crying because she was unable to untangle herself. I went over and unhooked her and picked her up at which time I noticed her bottom was wet so apparently needed a diaper change for some time. That's when the nanny finally came over. She, I believe was of Indian descent, and had short hair and glasses. The girl had an older sister. I asked her what her name was and she said Kate or Katie. She said her little sister's name was Lizzy.


Cadman Plaza park in Brooklyn Heights

Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008
nanny sighting logo This afternoon, (4/23) at Cadman Plaza park in Brooklyn Heights at around 4PM. A little boy between two and a half and three, light brown hair and hazel eyes, rosy cheeks, wearing army green and navy striped t shirt, light blue and white kind of train engineer striped pants and navy blue shoes. I think he said his name was Devon -- I can't be sure. He was wandering on his own in the woods toward Cadman Plaza West and on the pavement by the war memorial at the north part of the park for quite a while with no supervision. A woman walking her dogs asked me if he was with me as I got my own kid strapped in the stroller to leave the park. It took a good five minutes for his nanny, a thick, dark skinned black woman, possibly with braids, in a black t-shirt over a white t-shirt with black pants or jeans, to appear. And he might have been wandering alone for a good five minutes or so before that. She finally came up from somewhere on a bench in the middle of the astroturf area all the way up to where he had wandered by the war memorial and took him away without making eye contact with me.

Pacific Park Playground in Brooklyn

Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008
nanny sighting logo I was at the playground by PS 38 yesterday, (4/22) with my son. What a great day to be outside and enjoying New York City! Whooo Hahhh, Spring is finally here. Everyone seemed to be so happy to be outside with their kids and their charges. There was a lot of great care going on. There is one small thing that happened that I thought was strange. A nanny was carrying a black tote bag, medium sized and was showing another nanny what she had. That which she had was wrapped up in The Post (newspaper). We are busy playing and I don't pay much attention to her. I see the one nanny take one of the things, re wrap it, wrap it in a diaper and put it in her diaper bag. Later the first nanny with the black tote bag leaves the park. About ten minutes later, another nanny shows up and starts chatting up the nanny who took the object and placed it in the diaper bag. This nanny told the newly arriving nanny that she had just missed "aila", "haila" "Hail-yah", "Ai-lah" (?) and that she had some new stuff. The newly arriving nanny asked, "is this for you to keep"? and the other nanny said, "no, no, this I can sell for lots. Its 'lah/doe'". These were little statues. I saw two of them, but not up close. One was a man and woman, their bodies were very white and they looked like they were laying down but they were standing up in a blanket. (?). The second looked like a small group of ballerinas. These colors are almost pastel. The second nanny had wrapped the one with the man and a woman in a diaper. The nanny who brought the other one took it back home. I am not sure but I think I witnessed a nanny selling something of her employers. I could be wrong about this. I fully admit that. Whatever was going on is something that has been going on as I got to the vibe that this nanny was one to look for at the playground. The nanny who brought the stuff in a black canvas tote bag was Hispanic and Black or Puerto Rican. She had little or no accent, spoke perfect English, had brownish hair that was in little curls and frizzy. medium skin, 30's and she was wearing grey work out style pants and a pink button up sweater with short sleeves. She was in charge of a boy who was about 4 and who came with her on foot wearing long shorts and sandals. The nanny who put the thingy in her diaper bag put it in a pinkish and tan diaper bag with long straps. She was Hispanic, older, maybe 50? She had medium skin, darker hair and some specks on her skin. I can't remember what she had on but she was taking care of a little baby with huge brown eyes and long eye lashes. The baby was probably 14 months old. It's kind of hard to remember the details today. The more I think about I think I saw something that should be alerted.

Nannies Who Go To Far...

Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
First, let me say, our nanny is a Godsend. We love her, trust her and she is a part of our family. She has been with us for 3 years, 3 months. I was shocked when I came home yesterday and she had taken our son for a haircut. The haircut was a bit too trendy, (think vintage Maddox) for my taste. I was speechless at first, because usually she tells me when she is taking him for a haircut or I ask her to, so I wasn't expecting it. He's a boy, his hair will grow quickly and he loves his haircut, so I kept my shock in perspective. If she went too far, I think it was because, after three years, instead of doing less and less, she looks for more and more things to do for not just the children, but our entire family. I just wonder if any other employers have had a nanny go a bit too far, and not necessarily in a negative way. Or nannies, have you ever done something you thought trying to be helpful and then realized, 'maybe that was too much'? A picture of my son and his new style would really illustrate my story. I love this blog and all of the people who comment on it. Looking forward to hearing back. -A


The Forever Nanny

Huffington Post 9 Steps to Finding and Keeping Your Forever Nanny
Avoiding Nanny Nightmares: 9 Steps to Finding and Keeping Your Forever Nanny
Hiring a nanny is not unlike marrying a lover without first having the chance to date. But it's easier to get the skinny on a lover because you spend time together. A nanny, on the other hand, is left at the door when you kiss your kids goodbye in the morning. All you can do is hope for the best...... (by Kimberly Brown)

Everything's Wonderful Until I Need a Day Off...

Received Monday, April 21, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a situation that I'm not quite sure how to handle, and would like the opinion of nannies and employers who have been hit with this before. I'm a nanny for a (typically) good family and have been for 8 months now. I've had a crisis hit with my family, one that I've been incredibly affected by. A relative of mine has fallen ill and we're not sure how long they are going to hold up. It might turn into a situation where I need to fly home for a bit on a moments notice. My boss is very aware of the situation as I've tried to give her all the details I have so that she isn't blindsided if something happens. Normally the family does everything to try and make my life convenient. I have never had any problems with them coming home later than expected, nor with money, benefits, etc. etc. The one issue that I have had problems though is taking a day off. For example, I told my boss when I first interviewed with them that I would have to have an extended weekend this summer. It was a huge deal, and it doesn't seem like she can handle me being gone a day or two. needless to say, I'm scared sh*tless about her reaction if I need to fly home for a week, maybe more. How do I balance this? How does it work in a corporate setting? What in the world do I do from this point? There is no way I'd have any notice. Maybe a day or two, but I will quite literally have to up and leave. Any and all advice is welcome!

Confessions Of A Nanny

Received Monday, April 21, 2008- Rant, Warning (?)
time bomb emiticon small jpeg I am a park bench nanny.
I am a couch potato nanny.
I do a 20 minute project with your kids so I can tell you we did arts and crafts today.
I know what time you should be pulling up so I grab some books 5 minutes before hand and we sit down so when you walk in I'm reading to your kids.
We bake slice and bake cookies so I can tell you we baked today.
I take them to the park and sit and read or talk on the phone while they run around for hours then I tell you went to the park and had so much fun! I play with them for about 30 minutes total out of a 3 hour park outing because kids have no concept of time. They report to you that nanny X played a lot with us and you are happy.
I give your kids Ice-cream and cake and candies so they love me, that's why they cry for me and ask me to come more and tell you they wish I could move in with you.
I almost never report their troubled behavior, that X bit someone at the park or Y hit his sister and pulled her hair. I report just enough so you don't get suspicious but not too much because I want to keep the illusion you have that your children are perfect. I am well groomed and well spoken. My references are glowing and I have done this for over 20 years. I have a spotless background and driving record so paying a ton of money to look into my past will yield exactly the results you are looking for.

Why some of you may ask. Well I will tell you.

You have made me this way.

When I chose childcare as my profession I went in with the innocent idea that I would be a viable part of a child's life. That you would treat me with respect. I thought you would respect the fact that I had a life and family of my own and that you would honor the agreements for responsibilities, duties, paid time off and raises that we made and often put down in writing. In 20 years, I have worked for 3 different families, not one of them did this. Oh, it started out OK, then you came home late without asking or even calling, you started not paying me for sick days even though I rarely called out. You decided to you couldn't afford a raise for me this year even though you got yours, your husband got his and you took a cruise to Alaska, a trip to the Caribbean and saw Euro Disney that same year. Of course these things happened with different families but they always end up the same. Treating me like a servant instead of the person who is responsible for your children's well being and happiness.

Things are just going South with family number 4 now. I start out being a great nanny, involved, attentive and everything you said you wanted in your ad. You started out being a great family, treating me well and with respect. Not asking me to walk your dog, or do your dishes or laundry. You used to ask if I could stay late not ignoring the fact that my husband made dinner for our anniversary and you knew this and still showed up 2 hours late and I went home to a cold plate to be reheated in the microwave. You bait me and reel me in and when I am settled and happy, you change because you know I don't want to have to change jobs so you begin playing your games. Check. But while I will never harm them or treat your kids badly you are not getting the loving nurturing person you advertised anymore because you killed her. I am the one watching your kids and I am not doing a great or even very good job. Checkmate.

Why post this? To try to make parents realize how important it is to treat their nanny well.

For the record, I personally think this person sounds like an ass. -JD


Central Park Great Lawn in NYC

Received Saturday, April 19, 2008
nanny sighting logo I was out on the Great Lawn yesterday, (4/18) enjoying the day with a whole lot of folks. In the crowd was a nanny laying on a lime green towel, laying on her side facing her charge. Her charge was about 10 months old and she had stripped her naked and had her sitting in the full sunlight. The child was a female, Caucasian, light hair and eyes. The nanny was young, Caucasian, dark hair in a pony tail, wearing aviator sunglasses and capris leggings in an olive color. The temperature was about 85 degrees yesterday, she may not have known how hot it was at the time, but she was shading her eyes and body with clothing and sunglasses. Oh, and how do I know it was the nanny? A gaggle of teen girls at one point surrounded the girl and were cooing about how cute she was. The nanny said, "she isn't mine, I'm her nanny".


Cobblehill Playground in Brooklyn, NY

Received Friday, April 18, 2008
nanny sighting logo
I would like to thank Jacob's nanny today, (4/18) for her ridiculous display of park etiquette. I was sitting on a stone pillar bench, leafing through a magazine as my child played 15 feet away. I noticed another party entering my space. It was one woman in a knee length denim skirt, long braid of brown hair, Hispanic, approximately 55 years of age. She had with her Jacob, a sturdy looking toddler of approximate two years, wavy brown hair, wearing tan jeans and Nike shox tennis shoes. The nanny lifted Jacob up on to the same pillar I sat against, turned him around, dropped his pants and started barking these instructions to him, "okay, Jacob take out your wormy"
"Point your wormy here. Hold on to it"
"Jacob, you have to hold on to your wormy"
"Okay, wriggle it, Jacob. Wriggle wormy off. Is he wriggled?"
"Now tap your wormy Jacob"
"Good job Jacob, put wormy back in, now".

I don't know if I was more pissed off that the nanny chose to toilet the child five feet from me or the creepy way she spoke about his "wormy".

Prospect Park in Park Slope, NY

Received Friday, April 18, 2008
nanny sighting logo WITNESSED
One nanny was walking alongside a boy who was riding a ride on toy thingy. The nanny was holding a handheld device thing and punching in numbers or texting. The little boy was around 2 1/2 years old and was wearing a navy hooded sweatshirt that zipped up. He was white and I think his hair was brown and straight. The nanny was walking alongside him and she was wearing khaki colored capris and sandals. The sandals were the kind that don't reveal a lot of foot, her foot was pretty well protected. I mention this because when the child road over her foot, she kicked the ride on toy away from her. It was a pretty hard kick because she moved the front wheel and the boy started to tilt but didn't tip over. He also didn't seem to mind that kick. He was busy on his bike. The nanny went back to her typing on her device. Her eyes were on her device, not him. He then came very close to riding into a stroller being pushed by a white woman with straight, shoulder length blonde hair. The nanny looked up and then grabbed the child by the back of his hood (behind his neck) and dragged him and the bike towards her out of her way. The woman pushing the stroller said, "that's okay, I saw him coming" and the nanny says, "well he needs to learn to watch where he's going". The woman pushing the stroller said, "yes, I supposed we all do". (This went right over the nanny's head). The nanny continued letting the child ride while she typed on her device. Maybe that doesn't sound en total like a huge deal, but the nanny just seemed totally put out by this child. There was no reason she couldn't text on her phone, just give the kid a little something, a smile. A pat on the back, something. The nanny had an accent, so I think she was from the Caribbean. Her hair was very short but she managed to gather it in to a tiny pony tail which was sticking out of the back of a tan colored old navy baseball cap.

Chidren at the Liberry After Brefest...

Received Friday, April 18, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Our wonderful nanny is a remarkable person. She is energetic, fun, trustworthy and treats our two children as if they are her own. We have a six month old and a 2.5 year old child. The problem is that the nanny says words like "baffroom" (bathroom), "bat" (bath), "han" (hand), "srimp" (shrimp) "alls" (as in "alls you have to do"), and "aks" or "axe" (ask me), "fith" (fifth), "tex" (text), "supposably" (supposedly), "liberry" (library), "burd" (bread), "brefest" (breakfast),"jewry" (jewelry), "chidren" (children) and "birfday" (birthday).
I racked my brain thinking of the words that concern me, because it isn't just 2 or 3. I promise you, I am not a critical person, but my oldest spends 7-9 hours a day with the nanny and he has picked up some of her vocabulary. '

My question is this:
1) Do we correct this on our own with the child out of site of the nanny? OR
2) Do we correct this on our own with the child whenever it comes up (possibly in front of the nanny) ? OR
3) Do we talk to the nanny about our language preferences?

Ideas for a Parting Gift from the Nanny...

Received Friday, April 18, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I have a question that I was hoping the nannies and parents on here could answer...if you could post this that would be great. Thanks so much!
I've been a nanny for just shy of 5 years and have worked with the same awesome family for the entire time. I'm moving out of state next month and leaving my dear charges and employers and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to what I could give the family? They've been so incredibly gracious while I've worked with them and since I won't be around to see them frequently after I move I wanted to get them something. Any suggestions?
I've already started working on a photo album but was wondering if there was anything else I could do....thanks in advance for any info/advice!


Child Forms Bond With Nanny - Bad

Received Thursday, April 17, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Imagine a child, or rather 2 or 3 children who have had the same nanny; virtually since birth. For reasons hard to comprehend, their father is very critical of the situation. The father's idea ? The nanny should be fired after one year of service to prevent the children from growing attached or forming a connection to the nanny. Your reaction?

Nannies and The Husbands? Myth or Reality?

Received Thursday, April 17, 2008
Dear Jane,
I don't know if this would fall under Rant or not, but with all of the attention given to the Nannies in the news lately either because they are having an affair with their Boss or filing a complaint of sexual harassment, I would be curious to know how many Nannies on this Blog would be willing to tell their story. Were they just "hit on" by their Employer, were they harassed, or did they have a full blown consensual affair? How did they feel about it? And did the Wife ever find out? Thank you.

Coffee Complication...

Received Thursday, April 17, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I would love get some insight from the parents that read this blog. Here is my situation: The family that I work for likes to go out for a coffee in the am not too long after I've arrived at work. This happens anywhere from 1-3 times a week. They never give me any advance notice that they are going to be out of the house while I am on the clock, nor do they let me know when they are going to be back. They take their toddler with them and I am left home alone. They don't ever offer to bring anything back or ask if I'd like to go along (no biggie, because I'd say no anyway....but it's just the thought). But when they leave, I don't know if the time they are gone is my personal time or if I am expected to be "working". Most of the time, I tidy up, run a load of laundry and such. But there are times when there is nothing for me to do. Once in a while it's nice to have that "down time" but it's getting to be often and I am getting bored. It throws a wrench in the dynamics of the day for everyone, including the little toddler. So, my question to you parents is this: would you feel weird just leaving your nanny like that? Would you expect your nanny to relax or would you expect them to be working while you were gone? And, if your nanny came to you asking what you expected of them during that time, would you be offended or would you feel bad not clarifying? It's just something that's been bothering me as of late and I"m trying to figure out if it's even worth mentioning. There is no mention of anything like it in my contract, so I can't go to that for reference. I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Nannies, I'd love your input as well!


The General Nanny Rant....

Received Wednesday, April 16, 2008- Rant
I am a stay-at-home Mom living in NYC. I truly admire all of my fellow Moms who maintain careers and Motherhood. I know I couldn't do it. Since I am out & about daily with my baby, I see a lot and some of it is pretty concerning. I have to wonder if parents know what's really going on while their babies are in the care of their Nannies. I often see a lot of them (particularly of Island decent) being very aggressive with the children physically by yanking their arms. I also see many not speaking to little kids nicely or with they are often too busy talking on their cell phones to properly deal with the child. I see Nannies 'hanging out' in clusters on the sidewalks not paying attention to the children, talking on cell phones and not being conscious of pushing the strollers and clothes shopping. The kids are not asleep, they are awake. Sadly, I don't see any nurturing going on. One day I saw a woman literally screaming at someone on their cell phone with a baby in tow. Many days I see Nannies in stores leaving the strollers a few feet away, while they look at the racks.... Also, I'm sure the Moms don't want their kids pacified with candy & doughnuts which I often see if the hands of toddlers while the Nanny shops. Last, these Nannies often look unclean (as if they haven't showered). When I see all of these things I mentioned, I feel sad for the children and their Moms who don't know what is going on. I hope my posting encourages Moms/parents to take a hard look at who is caring for their children.

On A Clear Day, You Can See Forever...
Received Wednesday, April 16, 2008- Rants & Warnings
To all UES working Moms with nannies. I encourage you to please take a day off and follow your nanny. For the last few weeks since the weather has been nice, I have seen so many nannies shopping on 86th and the surrounding area with absolutely no attention being paid to the children they are watching. This is not a WOHM v. SAHM issue. I 100% support working Moms, and if earned enough money for it to be worth it to go back to work I would've. After taxes, I earned the same amount as a nanny does off the books. I struggle financially, but I have no choice.

I understand if a nanny needs to do an errand or two, but to casually shop while the kids are in the stroller is unacceptable. When it is nice out, the kids, even babies should be outside and out of their stroller. I know as a Mother that I shop on occasion with my child, but I know when enough is enough and I am engaging her when we are out together.

When I worked full time, I would be fired if I shopped while on the job as much as the nannies I see. Your kids deserve better. Please check up on them. Even if you have to be late for work one day.

P.S Favorite nanny hangouts on the UES are as follows: Ann Taylor Loft, Strawberry, The Gap, Pier One Imports, Bolton's, Orva, and Victoria Secret. Go there any day between 10 and 4 and you will know what I mean.


Your Thoughts?

Tuesday, April 15, 2008
This has been in the news for a few weeks now and a number of people have sent links in for discussion...
jessica gibson
A former nanny for Rob Lowe claims the actor sexually abused her for years but she continued to work for him and his wife because she loved their two sons and needed the job. (Court Documents.)

Gibson appeared on the “Today” show, but didn’t say much. Most of the talking was done by her lawyer, Gloria Allred. Together, they denied everything in Lowe’s lawsuit, and said that the actor and his wife tried to "hide behind" confidentiality agreements they had their employees sign. Those papers were purposely used as excuse to not "properly pay" Jessica Gibson. Rob Lowe’s former nanny Jessica Gibson has come forth with her own allegations against the 44-year-old actor, accusing him of sexual harassment. Gibson said Rob Lowe exposed and touched his private parts in front of her, and groped her on several occasions.

Gibson also says Lowe's wife Sheryl walked around naked, "completely exposing herself,"

Link to Jessica Gibson on the Today Show 4/15/08
Rob Lowe Nanny Jessica Gibson Claims Sexual Harassment
Former Nanny: Rob Lowe Fondled Me
Nanny -- Rob Touched Me in Lowe Places
Rob Lowe's Fired Chef Has "Issues"
Rob Lowe Declined Police Intervention In Blackmail Claim
Lowe To Cops: I Can Handle Sex Case On My Own
Rob Lowe: 'I Did Not Have Sex With That Woman'
Rob Lowe, Sheryl Berkoff File Suit Against Nanny Laura Boyce

I want to rewrite the letter and then copy the signature...

Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I just left my nanny position of 5 1/2 years on good terms because the family is finally self-sufficient and moving. The family had five children that included two sets of twins. I took care of each of their children from birth until school age. I can't count the times I've given up everything to help them. Everything was great when I left the position and we agreed to meet once a year to catch up. Then I received my "recommendation" letter. My employers and I agreed on the letter rather than calls for two reasons: they are incredibly busy with the move and I'm a male nanny. Although I have over a decade of experience, numerous references, and certifications; most employers don't even bother calling my references because I'm a man. The letters can be presented at a moments notice to try and help ease parent's concerns and give me a little bit of a chance. So you can see I was really counting on this letter. Now I feel completely tricked and used by this family. The "letter" was only five sentences long! It's awful! There is nothing in there about how long I've been working for them, how old the kids are, what I've helped with, taught the kids, or signs of appreciation. This comes as a shock because for years they have told me how wonderful I am and how they have no clue how they got so lucky. I'm so angry at them for leaving me high and dry.

I want to rewrite the letter and then copy the signature. They didn't leave a forward number and don't want to be contacted by cell phone for reference checks. So this letter is all I have to show future employers. How out of line am I to rewrite this letter? I wouldn't falsify any information; just include the things I stated above. These are business people and I thought they would know how to write a letter, but apparently I was wrong. Is it acceptable to rewrite the letter to include just the bare details or am I doomed to have a nearly 6 year gap in my employment history? Other nannies: have you had this problem, and what did you do? For employers of nannies: how would you feel if someone rewrote your recommendation letter?

Thanks for any advice you can give!
~Massachusetts Manny

Diana Ross Playground in NYC

Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008
nanny sighting logo Large, Jamaican nanny wearing a very pretty cashmere sweater. (*Edited at OP's request). She had on gold earrings, blue jeans and a very pretty face. She was taking care of two boys, both 3ish. One was buzz cutted wearing a Knicks jersey over a l/s white shirt, the other was wearing black cargo pants and a black camouflaged style sweatshirt zipped all the way up. I don't think they were related, I think they were friends. She kept telling the one that I am certain she was the nanny of to let the other child go first, drink first, etc. It was to the point that she was borderline abusive. She was just enamored of the other child making me think he was the child of a celebrity or something. All that not really important, what is important is that at one point she took the child that was definitely her charge aside and told him, "no one is ever going to want to be your friend. you want to have no friends?" The boy was already crying and she made him cry more. Then the nanny said something like, "no one wants to be friends with a baby. Why don't you just stand here and cry like a little (she corrected herself) and I will go play with Chase." Then the nanny left him there and went over and involved herself with the child, Chase.
Parent- this nanny isn't helping your child by treating him like this!

* 4/16/08 12:09 AM I apologize for the less than thoughtful comment regarding the sweater, believe me that was not how it was intended. I am especially sorry because it distracted people from the true content of this post and the full scope of what I saw, which involved a small child being treated quite cruelly by his nanny.

The Big Chill....

Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008- Rant
I am so angry. My nanny was off early yesterday as both my husband and I came home early. She had the 2 year old's dinner prepared for us and she was off. We fed the child and then took him outside to play because it was very nice out. We played ball and chased him around the yard. He was wearing a long sleeved turtleneck. We played outside from 6-645 ish. At 730, my husband dressed him for bed, gave him a bottle and put him down for the night. My son, who wakes up every night at least once woke up as he usually does crying. This time when I went in, he appeared to be shivering. I flipped out and became enraged. The nanny had never turned the heat back on last night. It was obviously not needed during the day but I was beside myself angry that my child was shivering. When I saw her this morning, I screamed my head off at her. Do you know what she had the audacity to say to me? That WE should have turned the heat back on. Then, she made some sort of reference to the fact that we were outside without jackets until 7PM, just before his bedtime. The nanny abhors heat and is on the same floor with the child, I think she intentionally didn't turn the heat back on yesterday because she is a selfish person and only thinks of herself. And when I was giving her a piece of my mind, she had the nerve to say to me, "well you were watching television in the living room last night, were you cold, were you cold?" Isn't the point that she turns the heat down in the morning all the information needed to know that she should have turned the heat up in the evening? The first floor is on one thermostat, the second floor on another thermostat and the third floor on another thermostat. The nanny and child both have rooms on the first floor. We sleep on the second floor. (The third floor is an office, guest room, home gym and playroom).


Child Being Bullied at Clifford School in Portland, Maine

Received Monday, April 14, 2008- Rant
This is a Rant about elementary school teachers rather than a Nanny. However, I am very concerned about the little girl I saw and if by some chance parents from this school read this I would want them to know about the lack of supervision. I saw this at the Clifford School in Portland, Maine. I am not going to list the name of the child here because it is a small school but if someone has a daughter there than email Jane and I will send you the girl's name.

I went to move my car, which was next to an elementary school. The kids were outside. On the farthest end of the playground this little girl was laying face down on a bench SOBBING. A group of boys were covering her in leaves and chanting "(name) likes to wear dirty underwear" ... I tried to say something to them through the fence but they ignored me. I looked for a teacher and there were two, standing by the school chatting and ignoring all the kids. But they were too far away for me to yell to them from the fence. So I went to school and couldn't get the poor sobbing kid out of my head. So I ended up going back to the school and telling the people in the principles office that this kid was getting bullied and the teachers didn't see it. They knew who the girl was and said they would look ask her who the boys were, etc. I mentioned politely that the teachers might need to walk down that way to deter the boys from gathering in the corner. They rolled their eyes and laughed and basically said "yeah, if we could get them to." Hello, that's your job!!! Grrrr. I'm really glad I said something and that they are looking into but I feel so sad for that little girl. I don't want anyone to get in trouble I just want them to watch out for her... getting picked on is one thing. Getting buried and leaves while you sob is another.

I wish I was a parent and knew other parents. I am providing Jane my email address so she can forward any inquiries directly to me.

Names Have Been Changed to Protect the Innocent...

Received Monday, April 14, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I worked as a nanny for a period of time and was told I should write a book about my life as a nanny. I never wrote the book, but did write an article for a magazine and finally, on Friday, I received word they were going to publish the article in it's entirety. I will receive a byline for this article and here is my question, how would employers feel about reading their nanny's account of life in their home in a national magazine? The names, locations, ages and dates have all been changed, however those people who know me are going to know me and see my name in a magazine know who I worked for. This is not a story gushing about how wonderful life as nanny is/was, in fact quite the contrary. I was ecstatic on Friday when I heard from the magazine, but now I am bordering on nervous. Employers?


Teen Screen- Rant

Received Saturday, April 12, 2008- Rant
I am a Marin parent who is very concerned about an article that appeared in the IJ. It is likely that you do not know the truth about teen screen.

Teen Screen

A scheme concocted by the pharmaceutical industry to screen the entire nation's public school population for mental illness and treat them with controversial drugs $$.

The connections to the drug industry - A high False positive rate.

The drug industry's long history of dirty tricks.


Nanny's Pay Reduction...

Received Saturday, April 12, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I have worked with my family for almost 3 years now.
In December the mom and I sat down and discussed me getting a raise, since I had not gotten one in 2 years and they were expecting a second child. We did some calculations and she ended up telling me that she could afford $14/hour or $700 a week (at 50 hours). I have been paid the money quoted since January, but I wasn't paid on the books. I had requested to go on the books a couple of weeks ago and was told that we would figure things out.
Mom comes in yesterday and tells me that she is willing to pay $650 ($13/hour) on the books. I was surprised ... hadn't we agreed on $14 ... and hadn't they paid me $14/hour for the last 3 months? Whenever I brought up that we had agreed on $700 per week, she had some lame excuse ... mainly that she didn't know what I was being paid, as she was at home and her husband was dealing with the money. I am not buying that ... I am sure she knew exactly what her husband paid me every week (they have a business together), but she is just trying to find an excuse.
What should I do? How should I address this situation? I do not have a signed contract (she doesn't have contracts for anyone working for her), just her word. I have been counting on the money ... $50 a week are $200/month that I am not getting paid (I just purchased a new car and my car payment is that much). Any advice on this? Thanks!

Forever 21 in Ann Arbor, MI

Received Saturday, April 12, 2008
nanny sighting logo I saw a (what I believe to be) nanny in Forever 21 on Friday, 4/11. She was Caucasian, American I believe, dark blond hair in a pony tail with a white hat, pink t shirt, cheap jeans -scragly at the bottom and sneakers. She was talking at her pink Motorola Razor at some point.She was married (I can tell by the ring and wedding band) and had a little girl named Ella with her. I knew her name by the back pack hanging over the stroller. Ella was wearing brown shoes, jeans and a green shirt and had bright blond hair. I would guess 4-5 yrs of age. Ella had either a brother or sister sitting in the stroller, I'd guess 2yrs old.. i never really saw the child's face but the hair was all over the place... like a bed head look. Ella kept asking to go while mom/nanny kept looking through clothes and she said just wait and be patient. The care giver wasn't mean but she'd leave the child in the stroller by itself and walk away browsing through the racks. I kept an eye on them all through the store and finally I left.
One thing that bothered me is that I just wondered why you'd drag your kids into a store like that when its pretty day out. I know some parents don't mind when nannies take kids with them to the mall at times especially when they are still itty bitty babies but how about providing them with a drink, snack or toy while you are browsing. I don't think she's a bad person just bothers me that what I really do believe to be a nanny, due to the way she spoke, would rather spend time in a store like that as opposed to a fun activity in beautiful weather especially when we never get any!


Larry's Playground (Bassett Park) in Hamden, CT

Received Friday, April 11, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nanny Thursday, April 10, around 4:30 @ Larry's Playground (Bassett Park) in Hamden, CT. Great Nanny! Today I saw a nanny at Larry's Playground with a 21 month old boy. He had thick blond hair and brown eyes, I think his name was "Theo", and he was very well-behaved and it was obvious he was with a caring provider he trusted. She was loving and very attentive, playing with him in the sand, and speaking to him in Spanish although she has perfect English when speaking to me (because that's what his parents prefer). She was close by his side but also gave him room to explore on his own. I was very impressed. She told me she was from Guatemala, she had waist-length, straight black hair and was wearing black stretch pants and a tee shirt.


Porter Square Books in Cambridge, Massachusetts

Received Thursday, April 10, 2008
nanny sighting logo Today, (4/10), I saw the most lovely baby boy with whom I thought must be his nanny. He was maybe 16 months old or so, maybe younger, blondish hair, orange t-shit, olive pants (I think olive). It was at a reading by a Lois Lowry. This woman was white, in her late fifties or so, frizzy, shoulder length hair. She was appalling. The baby cried once during the reading and, when she carried him out, she put her hand *over his nose and mouth* so he could neither breathe or stop crying, pulling it away only when other audience members gasped. Repeatedly she let the child wander away from her, alone, for many minutes at a time. In fact, during one time she ignored him, he was picked up and carried over to her by a young woman in attendance, and she hadn’t even seen the boy picked up, let alone where he was when it happened. The nanny left him again amongst the book stacks, and when she came back to hi., he had fallen and, when he looked up at her, weeping,, she just shrugged at him and put her arms out and said, “what do you want me to do?”. I have never seen a more inattentive or uncaring caregiver. I urge you to please fire her; she leaves your baby unattended often enough and long enough for him to do serious harm to himself.

If anyone should have questions about this post, the OP has availed herself to questions by providing contact information.

NY 22 between Armonk and White Plains, NY

Update - Thursday, April 10, 2008
I am the OP of this post and offended that someone would question whether I was driving while this was going on. If you are driving down the road and a stark, raving maniac, flailing her arms about, apparently screaming, reaching down in the vehicle, causing minor vehicle swerving and throwing items at a child doesn't catch your attention, just how aware are you? After she passed me for the second time- because my speed was constant and hers was not- I tried to commit her plate to memory, but by the time I got home to jot down the plate, I could remember only two letters- two letters I was not sure of. Whoever this woman is, whether she is a nanny, a stepmother or a mother, she should never be allowed unsupervised around children. Ever. In all my life, I have first hand witnessed such an appalling spectacle. And it was a spectacle, otherwise, I would not have been distracted. Fear not, Eric's mom, for my children were still in school and not in the car with me. I would suggest in the future that responding commenters save their snark for the people who are hurting the children, not the people who are trying to alert the people who love that child that there is a problem.

Received Wednesday, April 9, 2008
nanny sighting logo This woman frightened me. She was a blonde woman with sunglasses and a pointy face and she was driving a Black or very dark blue Land Rover 3 on NY 22 today. (3/9) from Armonk towards White Plains near Cranberry Lake preserve. This sighting occur ed between 3:00-3:30. There was a dark haired boy who was a passenger in the back seat of the car. He was probably 4 or five years old and sat behind the empty passenger seat. The woman was screaming at him hysterically, so hysterically she was herky jerky with her wheel. The real clincher was when she reached down in the passenger side of the car and brought up what looked like a child's party bag, from a birthday. She began throwing the objects from the bag at the child, not tossing, throwing. Still screaming and frantic. This vehicle had New York plates and I am 80 percent sure the first two letters of the plate were "DD". I cannot imagine a mother would ever treat her child like that or behave so psychotically, so I am deducing that this was the nanny. The woman's hair was just below shoulder length, she was white and thin. I cannot offer much more, but I felt for that poor boy. What could he have done to deserve that? And if he gets treated like that in a car going 50MPH, how does he get treated when they are standing still behind closed doors?

Reis Park in Somers, NY

Update - Thursday, April, 10, 2008
I sent the Reis Park email yesterday and I just went on your site and saw the route 22 sighting. These locations are very close. I suspect they are the same woman with the same child.

Received Wednesday, April 9, 2008
nanny sighting logo Today at noon, (4/9), I took my kids to this park and witnessed a very strange woman interacting in a very disturbing way with a boy, approx 3 1/2, named, I think, Caleb. She had blonde hair and the little boy had brown hair; she is slender, white, was wearing a grey sweatshirt and jeans, some kind of sparkly earrings, no wedding ring. She also had on big sunglasses and is probably in her twenties. She was sitting on a blanket with another woman, skinny, long brown hair in a ponytail, with a small blonde girl - maybe 18 months old. Caleb and the other woman called her Jen, I think. The boy was leaning up against her asking her to play as she had a picnic and chatted with the other woman. She said harshly, "YOU go play, that's what kids DO at the park, they PLAY!" Then she pushed him off of her and said sharply, "Stop LEANING on me!" I can't describe the contempt she was expressing toward this boy. He then waited several minutes and asked her to play again, to which she replied, "Can't I EVEN FINISH MY SANDWICH????" Then, after a pause, she said angrily, with a raised voice, "God, Caleb, you just make me feel like killing myself."

The other, brunette woman did not interfere in any way until the blonde woman snapped at the small blonde girl. Then the brunette woman said, "She was just trying to give you something, Jen."

It seemed like the brunette was very accustomed to the way the blonde woman treats the small boy. The two women know each other well - they were chatting about friends they have in common. The boy called the blonde woman Jen, so that and the lack of a wedding ring makes me think she wasn't his mom. She seemed to feel horribly burdened by him. Please, whoever this is watching your boy - get rid of her, quick.


Union Square Park in NYC

Received Tuesday, April 8, 2008
nanny sighting logo I witnessed something today that belongs on this blog. One nanny mistreating a little girl she had with her. The nanny was wearing brown pants and a striped tunic with brown as the main color. The nanny was an African American female, mid thirties, natural hair, 4" long.
The child was a little girl with blonde hair, bangs, wearing turquoise colored corduroys and a red jacket. The nanny went to plant her butt on a bench that looked towards the playground and the little girl was hanging around the nanny. The nanny was shooing her away. It was obvious that this was a very shy child. The nanny then started pushing her away. Pushing her towards the playground. The little girl was saying something like- because I could only gather from the tone and did not hear the exact words- but 'I want to go home' and 'please I don't want to'. The nanny stood up, snapped her magazine down on the bench and picked the girl up and screeched, 'do i have to play with you hear, do you see any other big people on this playground?' The nanny went on and on saying the playground was for big boys and girls but if she didn't want to play then the nanny was going to take her home, put a diaper on her and put her down for a nap. The little finally said 'okay I will" and then went over towards the equipment but then just sort of ended up sitting in the sand back by the fence. The nanny didn't even look up at her. The nanny was reading an Essence Magazine with Erika Badu on the cover. This little girl needs a nanny who is kind. This nanny is not kind. She is exasperated and mean spirited. There was more. I got knocked off meebo. So the little girl sits with her bottom on the black squares facing the fence, just playing with the few inches of sand there. She sat there for 20 minutes, until I left. I don't know how much longer. I was with earshot of the nanny when she said what she did about the diaper. I should have responded or butt in, but I didn't. I really wish I would have given her a piece of my mind. The nanny also had on several gold bangles on one of her arms. This happened right around lunch time, today, 4/8.

Children's Park in a West Windsor complex, NJ

Received Tuesday, April 8, 2008-Bad Grandmother Sighting
Location: Children's Park in a West Windsor complex, NJ
Date: Thurs, 4-3
nanny sighting logo I had my 2 year old charge at the playground (this was my 2nd week with him and our 1st trip to the playground) and there were 2 other 2 year old boys playing there when we arrived. One family left soon after, but one little boy was under the care of his non-English speaking grandmother. My charge was playing on the slide and in the tunnels, and the other little boy M followed. All was fine until M started throwing wood chips at my charge, and would not stop when I asked him to. Grandma was only vaguely supervising and did not reprimand. So I took my charge over to the swings, only to have M follow. I soon realized Grandma had left the park completely. I was pushing my charge in the baby swing and M kept walking in front, so I eventually picked him up and put him in the swing next to us, hoping Grandma would come back. After a few minutes the mother came into the park (house was across the street) and took over the pushing. However, after a few minutes she took a phone call and left the park, her son still in the swing! This family has never met me before, and did not know if that was my charge, my son, or what! I was very angry about this because it also put me in the awkward position of not being able to give 100% to my charge b/c I felt guilty and concerned for M. Eventually the mother came back and I quickly pulled my charge out of the swing and left the park. It is just unbelievable to me how parents and caregivers can be so passive with their child's safety!


Appropriate Work Attire

Received Monday, April 7, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a question to parents and nannies about appropriate work attire.

I recently started working with a new family. At my first interview it was just me and the mother. I work a fairly revealing shirt, but with another shirt under to cover my cleavage. She informed me at the end of the interview that she liked me and wanted me to interview with her and her husband, but that her husband was more conservative and wouldn't approve of my top. I shrugged it off, and wore a completely unrevealing shirt. They hired me and the first couple weeks I worked there all was fine. Then 2 weeks ago I bought a few new shirts because it's been hot here in Orange County. The shirts, do show minimal cleavage, and frankly with my large chest (38D) it is hard for me to keep my chest covered at all in a tank top! When I arrived for work the mother made some comment like, "Is it summer already?" I just figured she meant the bright colored tank top. The next day I wore the same style top in another color. At the end of that day she told me she wanted to have a talk. She informed me my outfits were completely inappropriate and a bad example for her girls, and told me if I wore another shirt like that I would be let go.

So, my question is this. What do parents think is appropriate for their nannies to wear? I have always thought I dressed nicely, normally crop pants, and a tee shirt with minimal cleavage and sandals or sneakers. Nannies, what do you normally wear to work?

Nanny Upset Over Unsupervised Ten Year Old...

Received Monday, April 7, 2008-Rant

I wanted to report something I saw today, between 2-3 pm on Sunday, April 6th, which really upset me. The reason why it upset me was because it involved a child, and what I saw angered me, because I used to work in daycare turned nanny and I am a Girl Scout leader. I would never do to a child what I saw this individual, the child's MOTHER, do. Maybe I am overreacting, but this child was 10 years old, and it was a parent who did this. I work part time on weekends at this store, and a parent approached me, like she was looking for something or someone. I asked her what or who she was looking for, she replied, "my 10 year old daughter." I figured maybe the child went to get something else her mother forgot, and waited a few minutes. "Maybe she 's outside waiting for me," the mother replied in a nonchalant tone. I checked out the groceries, and the mother did not once look for her child. She didn't appear to be concerned at all, that her child was missing. I had an associate check outside for the girl, and called a manager. It was about 5-7 minutes later and my manager found the girl, who was carrying something. Anything could happen to a child in 5-7 minutes. The mother paid for her groceries, and left the store. Since when is it OK to let a 10 year wander around the grocery store alone? My store isn't that big-yet anything could happen to an unsupervised child.

An extra $100 a week?

Received Monday, April 7, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Hello all of ISYN, I'm writing to get your opinion on a situation I am facing. I am currently a live in nanny for a family with 2 toddlers. I have been with this family going on 4 years now. While working 55+ hours a week with them I also attend school in the evenings and weekends to get my degree in teaching. I am due for a contract renewal and raise in August and I am having doubts and I need some advice on how you as employers of nannies and nannies themselves would handle it.

In the next year and a half my education costs will be greatly increased, including the time when I have to student teach and will no longer be able to hold my job (they know this), but I have not had a raise in 2 years since my last raise was a significant raise that would have covered any raises as it was. Is it to much to ask for an extra 100 a week for a total of 10 an hour? I'm not looking to increase my hours, my job requirements or anything like that. (I also do all cooking, all laundry, and basically am a household manager)

I also am going to need significant time off to complete requirements needed for school prior to my semester of student teaching, not to mention that my classes will be starting early at 430 instead of the 630 it is now. And as it stands now, asking for even 2 hours off to attend a Dr's appointment is a major issue, much less them getting home on time the nights I have school.

In the past 2 years I have dealt with a lot from them, including moving, grandparent issues (if that didn't give me away friends, I don't know what else would) and their constant money tightening. I also feel very unappreciated in this job, nothing seems to be good enough and we barely talk about the issues I am sure we both have.

I am unsure what to do from this point, do I bring this all to their attention now and let them make a choice on if it will work for them, or should I wait until august and bring it all to their attention. Mom starts a new job soon so things are already stressful as it is. Ugh, i'm just lost right now.


I was surprised when I was fired...

Received Thursday, April 3, 2o08- Perspective & Opinion
I have a question. I was recently fired because I sat a 21 month old child beside me on the counter while I washed 2 bowls. He was crying because his dad was leaving and I was trying to hurry and do the bowls so his dad could leave while trying to keep the child close and comforted. I have only worked for the family a couple of weeks but other than this offense, I have had a great relationship with the parents and children. I was surprised when I was fired over this action instead of warned not to do it again. I was right beside of the little boy, so I didn't feel like I was endangering him, but now that I look back on it, I see that it wasn't a good idea. My question is, do families normally fire their nannies for relatively small offenses like this? {PS, I am reliable, on time, do more than asked for the family, volunteer to do extra errands using my gas and car, and am otherwise extremely careful and loving with their children.}

Chapin Playground in Brooklyn, NY

Received Thursday, April 3, 2o08
nanny sighting logo Where: Chapin Playground in Brooklyn Heights
Who: One nanny and about 4 children. The nanny was about 5'6", 200 lbs, short black hair, levi jeans, Adidas tennis shoes, dark brown curly hair to the ears.
What: This is a toddler playground. This nanny arrives supervising and I use the word loosely 4 children, none of whom are toddlers. This was at 6Pm yesterday, (4/2). The children were three boys and a girl, all about 8-12 years old. Two of the boys had sandy blonde hair, one of the boys was black wearing a long sleeved dark blue shirt and khaki pants. The girl was wearing pin striped pants meant to be fashionable with buttons high on the waist and black boots. The children were all aggressive on the playground, utilizing the equipment in a way it was not meant to be used. The girl attempted to stand one foot in one bucket swing and another foot in the other, with one of the boys helping her. Another boy ran and leaped up on to the bench I was sitting on. True, it was 6Pm ish, but it is a toddler playground. They had no right to be there and this nanny let them run wild while she sat and slurped some icee drink with a dazed look on her face. I attempted to make eye contact with her but to no avail, she was vegging out. The children were so loud and worst of all foul mouthed. The boys used phrased like, "N word, please" I don't appreciate it in the least. I would have said something but I had two small children with me and the aggression of these children just made me think of the children down south who were younger than this who brought knives and tape to school to kill their teacher. In other words, I did not want to confront them. I left the park with my children. There are plenty of places to let your misbehaved, angry tyrants play and a toddler park is not one of them. Shame on this very bad nanny.