Nanny Seeks Guidance with Wage Issues...

Received Thursday, January 31, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I am a college student and have been working as a nanny for three years in the Sacramento, CA area. I also have nine years babysitting experience. I am CPR certified and have taken ECE courses in college. I work three days a week with one family after school MWF. This position, I consider, full time. I work usually close to 25-30 hours a week. I just secured another position from 10am-1pm on Tues/Thurs as a mother's helper. The infant is three months old and mom is going to be working out of her home office. My question is that since this position is very part time, only 6 hours a week, and I know the financial state of the family, should I charge less than my normal rate for one child? ($10/hr) Or should I charge the rate my other family is paying me? ($13/hr) This rate is based on my duties (driving kids to and from appts., playdates, making dinner, help with homework, etc.) Im just unsure due to the amount of hours, though I know I am well qualified (cpr, etc.). Should I reduce my rate due to the job criteria? (pretty much playing with the baby for a few hours, take her for walks, etc.)


Wee Play Indoor Gym in Nanuet, NY

Received Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This happened today, (1/30). Your nanny, who looked like she might be Filipina, was looking after two twin boys who looked to be about three years old. They were blonde and identically dressed in blue sweatpants and light grey sweatshirts with a dog on the back. I was at the play space for about an hour, and your nanny was on the phone for the entire hour, most of the time, not even watching the kids. I seriously do not think she said a word to either boy once the whole time I was there. When I was leaving, she was sitting at a lunch table with the boys, who were eating. She was STILL on the phone. (I believe her cell phone was red.)There was a little toddler backpack on the lunch table that said "visiting grandma's" or something similar, and had the name "Ashling" monogrammed on it.If this is your nanny, I'd ask a friend to shadow her one day. It seems that she is totally and completely uninterested in the kids she watches.


The Kneaded Bread in Port Chester, NY

Received Monday, January 28, 2008
Great Nanny Sighting in Port Chester, NYI wanted to post this about a wonderful nanny or Au pair I encountered at The Kneaded Bread, a bakery in Port Chester, New York. This happened on Friday, (1/25) at approximately 3:00 PM in the afternoon and involved a European nanny or Au pair. She was thin, average height, wore no make up, jeans and her hair in a short pony tail. Hair was brown. She had with her a toddler and a little baby of about 9-10 (corrected) months. The toddler, I cannot recall that much of, but the baby was blonde and I think-dressed in pink. Sorry, I should have sent this in Friday! They were sitting at a window booth and chatting together and sharing a pastry. Such a sweet, sweet nanny she seemed to be. Truly loved those children. The little baby was sitting on the table and the toddler was in a chair next to the nanny, they stared out the window and the nanny answered questions about cars and people passing by. I was drawn to this scene, not because it involved a nanny or a child, but because within this bustling shop, this nanny had carved out this little zone where just she and the children existed, taking comfort in each other and delighting in their confections. I should like to mention, that I happen to have a very negative impression of Au pairs based on some of the experiences of my friends, but to imagine this person with the accent -possibly French- was an Au pair, well, I should be so lucky!

Border's at Kips Bay Plaza at 32nd and 2nd in NYC

Received Monday, January 28, 2008
Who: Your Nanny
Where: Border's at Kips Bay Plaza at 32ND and 2ND
When: Today, (1/28)
What: Mistreating and roughly handling your 3-5 year old girl, possibly a special needs child. Put her mouth to her ear and whispered something in her voice that made the girl cry more and say, "no, no, no" covering her eyes. The little girl had blondish hair that was long and (sorry) straggly, but the way it hung, the nanny grabbed at the hair and tugged at her hair when she started to walk away, thus stopping the entire child with one handful of hair. Completely wrong. wrong. wrong.
Why: Because this person should not be working with children.
More: Girl was white, dark brown eyes, had on pink puffy jacket, open, sneakers with Velcro closers atop them, jeans with a rainbow embroidered on the knee. The nanny was AA or Puerto Rican wearing a silver metallic ski style jacket with a serious looking face and a slight moustache. She wore her hair loose and curly.

Help a French Nanny Out

Received Monday, January 28, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
Dear nannies and mummies,
I have a few questions to ask you... First of all, just so you know, I live in Paris France and not in the states, but your site was the only one I found dealing with nanny/ childcare queries. Let me start, last September I started looking after seven year old twins, one girl one boy, although their mother doesn't work I understand her needing a little help as her husband works in the U.S. so he's only there one week a month. I typically look after the children 25 hours a week on Mondays and Tuesdays I pick them up from school at 4.15 pm and look after them, take them to the park , make sure homework and piano gets done and learnt etc..,prepare their supper (according to instructions that get left out), shower them and put them to bed at 8.30pm after reading a story or two. I leave when the mum gets back from her yoga/drawing/pottery class at 9pm. On Wednesday I pick them up at 1pm ( no school on Wednesday afternoon in France) and take them swimming, (they don't have lessons but as I'm quite a confident swimmer I'm trying to teach them myself) , then depending on the weather we either go to the park or do an arts and crafts project I stay until 8.30 or 9pm. On Saturday morning I pick them up at 9am and take them to a museum or a show or sometimes even to a matinee film (we have to be out as mum has her coffee morning at the apartment before going out), we then go to the library to choose books for the week ( They are both little bookworms and read well above their age range.) We have a late lunch of things we've chosen together at the market that is on our way home from the library and their mum gets back around 3pm. On Sundays I pick them up at 10 and take them to their grandparents in the suburbs (1 hour in he train... i don't drive) and then in the evenings I pick them up at 6 from the station ( their grandmother brings them back to Paris) and drop them back home. I'm not sure I'm really a "nounou" (nanny) as I'm not full time ,I'm still in college and I'm 19 but I am starting to get a bit peeved about just be referred to as their babysitter... I don't just "sit" them , I care about them deeply and try to make their time with me as educational as possible for them without stopping it being fun. I genuinely enjoy their company and whenever I open the door they seem pleased to see me. I love spending time with them and even though I know I'm under paid (7 euros an hour ;the going rate is 8 to 10 and the family does not have money issues they are extremely well off), I prefer looking after them rather that having to deal with the hassle of telling the mum I need a raise etc or working for another family who doesn't share my values and appreciate what I do. However this evening I found out from the cleaning lady that when she looks after the children on the rare occasion I can't make it ( it has happened 3 times since September) she gets 10 euros an hours ( for cleaning she gets 15 euros , I don't know if this applies in the states but in Frances you pay more for cleaning that for childcare it is normal)... I am trilingual, have always been a scholarship kid , I can read music , i consider myself to be fairly well educated I do activities with the children , the cleaning lady is extremely sweet to me and the children but considers plonking the children in front of the T.V. while feeding them whatever they want to be an educational afternoon she does not speak french but the children understand English.I had always thought that the mum just didn't know about the going rate but now i feel abused and betrayed what is going on? I love the children but i need to confront the mum?What should I do?Thank you for taking the time to read my long post. I look forward to reading your suggestions.
-A currently lost french Caregiver


Large Playground at Mission Bay Park in San Diego, CA

Received Friday, January 25, 2008
Physical description of caregiver:
White female around 50-55 years old; short salt-and-pepper straight hair; very overweight; around 5'3"; jeans and pink hoodie.

Physical description of involved child/children:
3 children - 2 girls, around ages 6 and 9, both wearing jeans and pink shirts of different styles, and a little boy around age 4, wearing jeans and a dark blue hoodie. The little boy had brown hair, his sisters (?) had lighter, long hair.

Address or venue of observed incident:

The large playground at Mission Bay Park, San Diego, CA. (The playground with the dragon slide)

Date and time of incident:
Today, January 25 (Friday), 2008, around noon.

Detailed description of what you witnessed:
I do not know if this caregiver was the mom, grandma or nanny, but she was awful to the little boy she was watching. She was watching two little girls and a little boy, and they were all sitting at one of the picnic tables in the middle of the playground, eating lunch or a snack. She was yelling "SIT" at the little boy in a very harsh voice and then repeatedly smacked his butt/legs, while yelling at him. I was right there and gave her a surprised look and she looked sullenly at me. A couple of minutes later my back was to the table and I heard her yelling again at the little boy, turned around and she appeared to have smacked his face, although it is possible I was mistaken and she had just smacked his leg. At any rate she was angry, hostile, and hit him at least 3 or 4 times while she was in plain sight. What is she doing in private??

Later the little boy hopped down from the table and went to play and she kept her back to him, couldn't see where he was or what he was doing. I kept a wary eye on him and on her, and a few minutes later she finally got up and went over to him and supervised him. At this point I left the playground.

I thought of confronting the woman after I saw her scream at and hit the little boy. It was VERY harsh and inappropriate treatment, but I know that spanking is not illegal and I also did not want to cause problems for the little boy later by making this woman even angrier. She had an angry, sullen, tight-lipped face and honestly I would NEVER want this person to be in charge of children, just based on her expression alone! But this isn't about her facial expression; it's about her mistreatment of this little boy. Once she saw me looking at him she crossed her arms and seemed to be very conscious that she was being watched, and then after I had turned my back she acted harshly with the little boy again.

I do not think this was a mom - due to her age I think it was either a grandma or a paid caregiver. Either way, this woman is NOT up to handling little ones. Maybe she was just having an off day and she's usually a good sitter/grandma, but if my mom was watching my children and I found out she had treated them this way, she wouldn't watch them again. I apologize if the description of the incident is not very eloquent - it is hard to get across how shocking the woman's behavior seemed to me. My heart raced and after the second time I witnessed her hitting the little boy I resolved to confront her if she did it again and tell her I was calling the cops. But I didn't want to have to confront her, because a) I was afraid she would "retaliate" against the little boy in private and b) I was with my own child and did not want her to witness a hostile confrontation. If anyone has any tips for what to do in such a situation that will not escalate it, please let me know.

Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver:
Didn't see a vehicle, bag or stroller.


Visitation Catholic School on Farview Avenue in Paramus,NJ

Received Thursday, January 24, 2008
In all liklihood the woman I saw was not a nanny but a grandmother.

Yesterday, (1/23) at Visitation Catholic School, Farview Avenue in Paramus,NJ at approximately 2:25 pm. An elderly woman and her female passenger pulled into the lot driving a champagne colored Lincoln Town Car. The license plate holder said Towne Lincoln. They pulled in wide and nearly hit my car. The driver paid no attention to adults and children in the school lot at the time, neither slowing or stopping to give right of way to pedestrians. She drove in the out lane and parked taking up two spaces. She picked up a red-haired boy about 9-10 years old He got in the back seat, no seat belt. Then the really scary stuff began! She swung out wide and almost hit another parked car. She took about 5 minutes to see-saw out of the space with me and other parents cringing and expecting impact at any moment. Again, several parents and children had to scramble out of her way. She then drove out the in lane. She never stopped at the exit of the lot onto Fairview Avenue, but instead cut off traffic, almost causing a car pile up while she chugged away going about 5 miles an hour. For the safety of your little boy please don't have this woman drive him any more and for the safety of the rest of us with kids in that school, please get her off the road. I would guess her to be in her mid to late 80's. She had short, permed grey hair and wide blue glasses. Her companion wore her hair very short and dyed red.


About 20 feet from the Subway Exit at Bryant Park in NYC

Received Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Nanny teasing toddler with yapping little growling dog. A Chihuahua or one of those breeds but the toddler was frightened. The toddler was sitting on a bench next to the nanny and next to a friend of the nanny's. The two adults took delight in scaring the child to tears by bringing the dog up close to the child's face until she growled and the child cried. The child repeatedly asked to get down and the nanny said, "no we're leaving now". But she showed no intention of leaving. I was with my sil at this park and I said, one of us needs to go over there, so my sister in law did. I stayed with our children and I watched her walk up to them. Both the nanny and her friend looked up at my approaching SIL with such attitude before she even said anything. I couldn't quite hear what was said. In short, my sister in law said she told them that they obviously thought it was great fun to scare the child, but from her angle it looked sadistic. She said the adult that wasn't the nanny said, "and this is your business how?" and my sil said, "I'm making it my business. I think the people you work for would be shocked to see how you treat their child" and the nanny said, "Shows you what you know". Then the two of them started with a chorus of "okay, okay" and "be gone" and my sil walked away. When she returned, she felt pretty foolish. I don't know what our options were at that point. The nanny wasn't going to provide the name of her employer, not that we got that far. If I didn't think it would frighten the child more, I think I would vote for dragging the nanny of the bench with her friend and smacking the crap out of her.

This is really awful. If anyone knows a little girl who:

is Caucasian, has kinky hair, brown and blonde, worn with the front of it up in a pony tail and the rest hanging long. Has green or blue eyes, is about 3 years old and was wearing pink roper boots, blue jeans, a black turtle neck, a blue shirt over that and a lavender jacket that had a pocket on one side that matched the color of lavender on the other side and the flip side of the jacket was a lighter side of the same shade of lavender.

And has a nanny who:

carried a shoulder bag that was worn over the shoulder, was reddish and looked to be made out of sweater material and was wearing a thigh length sweater coat with fur at the collar, long untied sash, blue jeans, is Hispanic, had a very clean face, obviously an attractive girl even though she didn't seem to have on any make up and she had her hair up in a tight bun on her head. (The nanny might own the puppy or the family might own the puppy or the friend might own the puppy).

The dog or puppy looked like a chihuahua type, small, with brown body and black around it's snout. Short hair.

The friend is also Hispanic, was wearing a leather jacket, lip liner, dark lipstick, mascara, big brown eyes, overweight by about 25 pounds but on the short side.

I hope this is enough information to find this awful nanny and human being.

"I want Elsa"

Received Wednesday, January 23, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I am writing because the more vocal my two year old has taken to calling for his nanny in the evening, shortly after she leaves, during bath time and at bed time. I am working to establish myself in my career. I don't make loads of money. In fact, after I pay the nanny, I am taking home about 18,000 per year. The nanny we have is wonderful with him, has been with us for over a year and I trust her implicitly. For the past few days or more, my husband has began discussing the need to let Elsa go because he says it is 'unhealthy' for our child to want Elsa. His suggestion is that we should hire our nannies for one year periods so that our child does not have the chance to become too attached to any one nanny. I think he is 100 percent wrong. I don't enjoy hearing my son cry out for the nanny, but I think it is just a phase. Any other mothers have the right words so that I can make my case in the strongest possible way the next time this comes up? For the record, my husband very often likes to insist that he is thinking of me. When he brings this up, he seems to have all of the right things to say, in addition to upsetting me and making me feel guilty that I can never grasp the very words I need. Anyone with a similiar experience? Thank you in advance.


Foster Father-Copps Food Store in Middleton, WI.

Received Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I saw something yesterday that I thought I would share with your readers. What I saw was wonderful and really made my day. While at the checkout yesterday, I observed a white man, mid to late 20's with two boys, 3-7 years old, both with dark skin and eyes, so I know he wasn't their father. The boys looked to be from the Middle or Far East, due to their features and skin coloring. The man was wonderful with these boys! He encourgaed them to unload the groceries, answered all their questions, and the man really enjoyed his time with them. He used kind nuturting words and a gentle voice with them, when the older boy took the man's wallet and started going through it, the man was wonderful with his voice, that I loved seeing this interaction. I complimented him on how well he did with the children, and he explained they were his foster children of 3 weeks. Not a nanny sighting, but a WONDERFUL display of love and affection for foster children!


Barnes & Noble in Park Slope, NY (Brooklyn)

Received Saturday, January 19, 2008
This is an odd sighting that I know I would want to know about if it were my nanny, so don't shoot the messenger. I was at the Barnes & Noble on 7th today, (Friday, 1/18) and I observed a nanny watching a little girl with a page boy hairstyle, thick dark hair, blue eyes, wearing floral leggings and a denim skirt and a ice pink jacket with horizontal ridges. This little girl was about 3 and as darling as could be. I noticed her because she was by herself. Granted, there are a lot of Moms around but I was very uncomfortable with a little girl by herself roaming around what is a very large store (with stairs). She left my sight for awhile and about ten minutes later, I heard a woman saying, "does anyone belong to this little girl". Heads started looking around looking for the person responsible for her. Finally, we saw her sitting in a daze. A white woman with goth style makeup, very pale face, black hair with pinkish tips on some parts was sitting there in a stupor. She nodded awake and said, "oh ah yah" or something to that effect and claimed the girl. Then she stood up, grabbed a black and green leather shoulder sack and said, "lets go find some good books to read". In her voice, she mustered some enthusiasm, but she dragged behind the girl. She was so out of it. Hungover, sleep deprived- I don't know. In fact I don't care. But at a minimum, you people need to hire people to w-a-t-c-h your children. That is the basic definition of a babysitter. Isn't it?

When Mom Decides to Stay Home...

Received Saturday, January 19, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
This isn't a sighting (sorry) but I have a question for parents and nannies alike. I am wondering what you have given/received as severance when you decide to let a nany go b/c you have decided to stay home. My husband and I are having a hard time figuring this out. Thanks.


Friday, January 18, 2008

Mc Brooklyn has an update on the trouble with Brooklyn Children's Academy.

The women at are stark raving mad over what they perceive to be a bunch of elitist, white racists on the Kuku post.

If you haven't heard of her yet, allow me to introduce, The Nanny Doctor.
Dr. Lindsay Heller, a Beverly Hills-based licensed clinical psychologist, seeks to promote positive relationships between families and their nannies with a focus on the best interests of the child, Dr. Heller provides a highly specialized service helping families in all aspects of their relationship with their nanny. Her goal is to ensure the development of strong, healthy emotional bonds between children and caregivers. Watch Video of the Nanny Doctor here.

Enjoy the long weekend!

And Why Was I Fired?

Received Friday, January 18, 2008 -Perspective & Opinion
Actually, I know why. I was just wondering if any parents can help me understand reason behind it.

I 'm a great nanny, the kids love me. I've been with the family almost a year and all was going so well. Tuesday, the mom decided to work from home, she seldom does. After lunch, the five year old little girl I care for ran into the playroom and accidently called me mom, she does this on occasion and I've corrected her in the past. To be completely truthful, I can't honestly recall if I corrected her this time or just responded to her need. An hour later, the Grandmother showed up and the mother called me into her home office. She told me very coldly, that my services will no longer be required. I asked if I should finish the day and she told me no, leave immediately. I asked why but she simply said I should leave now. I left in tears and am heartbroken. Calls and emails went unanswered all day Wed. and Thurs. Today, the father called me and told me he's sorry but his wife feels threatened by the fact that her daughter felt so comfortable with me, she called me mom. Are people really that insecure? I asked the father what sort of compensation would be made and he said we live in an employ- at- will state so they can fire me at any time, just as I could have quit at any time. No compensation would be forthcoming.

All right, so I get the legal thing but what about the moral side? They know I am a single mom who depended on my salary to support myself and my teenage son. I asked if I could get a letter of reference and the father said, not right now, she is too upset but maybe at a later date. I hung up. My problem is, I did nothing wrong to these people or their children. I provided excellent care, was never late or called out and never refused overtime. I guess I am just looking to other parents to tell me if they see any reason behind this mother's actions towards me. And can a nanny be too good? Should I dial back my interaction with the kids in the future so they don't become so attached? Also, to you nannies, what should I say about my last position since I obviously won't have a reference. Any advice? Thanks!


Financial Center in Battery Park, NY

Received Friday, January 19, 2008
Our nanny, who we trust very much described a concerning incident which took place Thursday January 18 in the Financial Center in Battery Park, NY. A little white girl, approximately 3years old, a little chubby, with blond, shoulder length hair and wearing a coat was struck by a woman, apparently her nanny. The nanny was 5 ft 5 or 6, brown skinned, wearing a black coat. According to our nanny, the little girl ran up to the nanny and hit her on the hip. The woman turned to her, saying, "Never hit me again," and swung a blow at her, hitting her "hard." The woman then walked off, towards the Southern entrance, with the little girl following after her crying. Everyone in the vicinity were shocked to see such behavior, in particular because it was done so unrepentantly in public. It begs the question what happens behind closed doors. Perhaps the Center has security tapes with the incident which could be accessed.


Pierrepont Playground at Brooklyn Heights Promenade in Brooklyn, NY

Received Thursday, January 17, 2008
Around 12 noon today, (1/17)Too many red bulls? Your nanny finished one red bull, popped a top on the other and proceeded to lose her patience or rather continued to lose her patience with your little girl all dressed in pink. One twin or close in age child was outside of the double stroller and one was inside by herself. The nanny handled her very harshly, buckled her in with a meanness and just was very tough with every movement. The nanny was bent over this stroller and totally ignoring the other child who was standing with her finger in her mouth looking at her little sister with such sympathy. If she could have spoken or would have spoken, she would have said, 'stop being so mean to my sister'. If this is your nanny she has short dark hair, an ear pieced high on the ear as in an old style ear clip, a pointy nose that looked like a ski slope and she had some sort of accent that I was not familiar with. The way the nanny handled this child in public was rough. I wonder if her touch was softer when she got her home, out of the limelight? Stroller was a twin blue and black side by side jog stroller. The nanny was white, dressed athletically in stretch black pants, a zip up red sweatshirt with writing on each side of the zipper and a black head band. The girl in the stroller dressed in pink had fur trim around her hood. The little girl standing was wearing brown tall boots with pink flowers on them. Oh and by the by, it's freezing outside. Not the best time to take two small children out so you can get your exercise on. Stay inside, build a castle, read a book!


Who was this stranger in my home?

Received Wednesday, January 16, 2008-Rant & Warn
I hired a nanny based on a good interview and three positive references. She was working part time for one of the references – who RAVED about her – and was going to work part time for me. She was with us from April. After the holidays, she disappeared. I was concerned and thought maybe something happened to her, and remembered I had the references still. So I called her. The original employer said, “Oh I’m so glad you called. I never heard from Nelly again – she just disappeared in June.” When she started working full-time for US!

As the conversation progressed, it turned out that almost nothing she told me matched up with what she had told the other woman. She told me she was still at college. She told the other woman she’d finished last May. She told me she had an English boyfriend. She told the other woman she didn’t have a boyfriend. She told me she was American. She told the other woman she had trouble with her greencard. She told me she was 25. She told the other woman she was 29. She did tell both of us bullshit stories about health issues to get out of working – she got an ovarian cyst surgery, I got a broken collarbone. Which she took 2 months off to “heal” from – clearly she was trying out another job that didn’t work out.

Is this person mentally ill? We had long conversations about things that were not true! Why would someone do this? What is she gaining? She can’t use any of us as references now – and it turns out that one of her references was a friend, not a former employer. She was a GREAT nanny. Or so I thought. Now everything is under question – I’m asking myself, DID she go to story hour with my son? Did she abuse him in any way? Did she steal information from our house for identity theft?

Her name is Nelly (last name available) and she’s from Brooklyn.


Riverside Park heading away from Riverside Church Library in NYC

Received Tuesday, January 15, 2008
I saw your nanny today leaving the area of the Riverside Church Library with a little girl who was dressed dowdy. Her hair was matted to her head and she seemed mismatched. She had that look on her face like she was sick. She was a white girl, with red cheeks, dirty blonde hair and wearing a plaid skirt with tights and little loafers with a pink jacket. The girl was about 3.5 to my best estimate. What I saw was this, two boys of about the same age who were probably brothers running in to her repeatedly and knocking her down. The woman in charge of these two boys, also white, with dark, curly hair, wearing the same blue on blue jackets was talking to your nanny. The girl looked miserable, either because she was sick or because no one was standing up for her against these two bully boys. The nannies were ahead of the kids, paying them no mind. They were laughing every time they knocked the girl down, it seemed they "scored". I said, "hey, her, slow down" and the smallest of the children made a fist gesture to me. He thought he was funny. So then I called out, "I think this little girl needs some help". The nanny who was in charge of the little girl turned around, burned holes in my head with her glare and said, "she manage just fine without your business thank you". The other nanny turned around and screamed at the boys to walk ahead of her and leave her alone. The first nanny who was minding the girl said to the other nanny pointedly, "best to let the kids hash it out themselves, adults not doing any favor getting up in all their business". That was the general context of what she said, but she said it using angry street slang. The other nanny said, "They know better than that". She was clearly the better of the two nannies. My problem, why is THIS nanny taking "Care" of your little girl? This nanny was an African American with a trim figure, wearing a smoke colored ski jacket that was cream colored on the underside of the arms. She wore lots of earrings in her ear and her hair in a really tight little pony tail.

I Saw Your Mom at the Nugget in Reno, Nevada.

Received Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Click here to read this submission.


Upper East Side in NYC

Received, Monday, January 14, 2008
Monday, January 14th at 5:20 pm. We were in a car waiting for the light to change an intersection on Third Avenue in the lower 90's.It might have been 92nd or 93rd street. A little boy about 8 years old with dirty blond or light brown hair appeared to be crossing east alone. He had a book bag and was wearing what I think was either a blue or grey jacket. A woman was walking in front of him. he appeared to be following her as she crossed the avenue and then turned uptown and crossed the street. I am not sure if she was his nanny because she never once turned and looked back at him. She was black wearing dark jacket and pants hair pulled up in a bun and also had a book bag or backpack and was carrying a white shopping bag. The little boy was still following her as we drove past. She paid no attention to him. I have grandchildren older than him and I keep them right by me whenever we cross the street.

Why I Dread Monday....

Received Monday, January 14, 2008-Rant
Let me tell you why I dread coming to my nanny position on Monday mornings:
1) The dirty laundry from one weekend has become an unGodly leaning tower of stank. I mean, how do you possibly wear 6 outfits each in one weekend?
2) The dishwasher is packed full, as well as both sink reservoirs.
3) The baby is handed to me with a poopy diaper and diaper rash that she has accrued over the weekend.
4) The dog starts immediately throwing up all over the house, probably because they forgot to feed him all weekend, so when I feed him Monday morning he gobbles it too fast to digest properly.
5) Somehow every area rug and carpet in the house is upturned and/or disheveled.
6) There are little objects of garbage throughout the floors that the baby finds and tries to eat. Ie: paper towel/tissue remnants, pieces of paper from magazines, random cooking ingredients like an onion peel.
7) There are (oddly) cleaning products lying out.Which I don't understand since I leave this house impeccably clean on Friday evening, and I know you do not actually use these to clean with?
8) There are four new job duties added to my normal list of obligations. Ie: wash the bathroom mats, pack up this present and take it to UPS, scrub behind the toilet with a toothbrush.
9) You seem to have lost something, anything, and I need to spend the entire day searching for said lost item, only to have you tell me later in the week that you found it in your pocket that same day.
10) The list of errands is enormous, even though I made sure all errands were done by Friday evening so that you could spend your weekend relaxing, not doing housework, and just spending time with your child.
11) The child's toys are strewn from one end of the house to the next, as well as any items the child can get to in any drawer or cabinet.
12) The child's pacifiers, which she can't live without, all seem to be lost on Monday morning, and I have to search on my hands and knees to find some under the couches, chairs, bed, etc.
13) Somehow, even though you don't do your own laundry, there is no laundry detergent left.
14) You've mistakenly taken the infant car seat with you in your car to work so I am stuck at the house all day, and then you wonder why I didn't get to your to-do list of errands for the day.
15) You claim how busy your weekend was because you had so much stuff to get done around the house. What did you possibly have to do? I do all your laundry, all your dishes, all your cleaning, all your errands,I cook your meals and leave you with leftovers for the weekend. All you have to do is pay your bills.
16) You claim how difficult the baby was for you this weekend, although there were two of you to care for her, while I manage to do it alone for 12 hours a day.
17) The garbage pile in the garage is enormous and I have to lug it all down to the curb for the garbage truck.
18) You complain for the umpteenth time about paying mileage reimbursement.
19) You call me on your way to work to make me check and see if you unplugged the curling iron, toaster, etc.
20) You get irritated if I mention I have to run a personal errand for myself. Ie: go to the bank, yet you tell me as I walk in the door Monday morning that I'll suddenly have to stay two or three extra hours tonight because you have to go pick up your new car.
21) The baby is cranky because she did not nap all weekend because you claim you cannot get her to nap.
22) The baby is starving because you never stick to her feeding schedule so she eats an enormous breakfast to make up for this.
23) The diaper basket and baby wipes are nearly empty, even though I make sure it is stocked for the weekend on Friday evenings.
24) There are no clean bottles and you're almost out of formula/milk etc.

And after all is said and done, you will once again come home to a spotless house, where all the laundry and dishes are done and your dinner is made for you. Your baby will be clean and happy and well rested. And you'll act as if you do not even notice.

We Need a Nanny Union


Heckscher Playground in NYC

Received Saturday, January 12, 2008
In the restrooms at Heckscher Playground today, (1/12), I saw a overweight nanny in stretch pants and tennis shoes with scrunchy socks-pants tucked in-yelling the crap out of a precious 2 or 3 year old girl. The girl looked like a doll and had pretty long hair that was strawberry blonde, pale skin and was wearing a yellow cuffed jacket but the jacket itself was a brownish color. The nanny didn't care at all about shielding the girl from the other people in the bathroom, including myself and one cracked out looking punk looking chic missing a tooth. The poor child was exposed and wasn't helped properly off the seat-although she asked and needed to be on account of her height. The child fell to the side and landed-ew-on the floor back by the wall. The nanny acted all pissed off about it. The child had the right to be pissed. What the hell? Listen up nanny, it is your job to take a child to a public bathroom and HELP her. That is what you are getting paid for. Also, nanny did not wash her hands or the childs. Disgusting. Nanny had very crispy looking ethnic hair, smooth and oily at the skull and then crispy as it jutted out. Nanny wore no make up and had large teeth for her mouth. The AA nanny was wearing a pull over hoody that was grey and black. (No zipper).

"Frenemy" complicating nanny relationship

Received Saturday, January 12, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
For three years, I had a wonderful nanny from Columbia. She had been in the US for 14 years and was legal, a hard worker and the kindest person you would ever want to cross paths with. When that was coming to an end, I began to ask around to find a replacement. I have a friend/frenemy who has the perfect nanny so naturally I approached this nanny and asked her if she might know anyone. As it turns out, she did. To make a long story short, her friend came to replace our wonderful nanny. I didn't think we could ever replace our nanny, but somehow this replacement came close. She lacked in some areas, but made up for it in any areas. We met her salary requirement ($900 per week on the books.) She asked about health insurance, I told her we would be willing to consider paying half of it after six months. She seemed fine with that. At Christmas we gave her a bonus of $2500.00, this despite the fact she had only been with us for five months at that time. Everything had been smooth sailing. I should say here that I really like this individual. She is personable, intelligent, optimistic and has many fine characteristics. The problem I am having is one I must wonder if one that can even be managed. The nanny's friend has been with my friend/frenemy for almost a year and a half. She and I both live in the same vicinity in comparable houses, drive comparable vehicles and send our children to the same schools. I would suggest we our economically similar, if that makes sense. It seems that since our nanny has come to work for us, my friend has been showering her nanny with gifts and perks that we are not ready or yet willing to provide. I could certainly see myself indulging our nanny with nice gifts and perks down the road, particularly is she stayed for awhile. Is this a ridiculous situation? I feel my "friend" is hell bent on making me look like a bad employer, when I truly think I am a good employer. She also goes out of her way to tell me, often in the company of the new nanny who is looking for a nanny and what they are willing to pay. The things that makes this situation unavoidable is this "friend" is the sort of friend that has her hand in every one's business. She contacted the husband of another of our friend's to get tickets for both of our nannies to attend a NYC taping of "a show" and then gave her nanny the time off and told her, which in my opinion set me up to look like a buzz kill. We are both stay at home mothers, so we have some flexibility but I also have younger children. I don't see a way to work through this without alienating a friend, (the sort of friend who is the class mother, head of the fundraiser, throws the end of the year class party, etc.) or causing this nanny to resent me and our family. I am sure because it is rather apparent that we both live "blessed" lifestyles, my nanny is going to take personally any failure on my part to provide "extras".


Rancho Santa Margarita, CA

Received Friday, January 11, 2008
I saw a hispanic woman dressed in normal, neat clothing holding a well scrubbed, white child and begging for money in the parking lot in the 31400 block of Santa Margarita Parkway at around 6PM on Thursday, (1/10). I called the police. My husband thought the nanny was using her charge to extract money from passers-by. There are several stores around that area. The woman and child did not appear to be related or at all similiar. The hispanic woman had brown paints on and a brown floral looking blouse. The baby was blondish with Swedish coloring, wearing a striped shirt and jumper. The child was about two and I can't say for sure if the child was male or female.

Nanny Agency in Texas

The original post has been removed per the author’s request. The author credits the high visibility of ISYN for facilitating a resolution between the parties. The nanny agency took the right steps to resolve the dispute and the OP is quite pleased. The OP expressed her appreciation to ISYN readers for their comments and support.

Friday, January 11, 2007

Register to Vote: I Saw Your Nanny and Rock the Vote, Register to vote NOW


Alliance Francaise on Bush Street in SF, CA.

Received Thursday, January 11, 2008
Good Nanny Sighting I saw your nannyAt 5:00 on January 9, I saw your pretty Filipino nanny and your 5 or 6 year old blond son leaving the Alliance Francaise on Bush Street in SF. Your son was wearing khakis and a dark blue coat, and might have had a white shirt on underneath that; he didn't have a book bag, but had just come from French class with a friend. Your nanny, mid-twenties, hair in a ponytail, dark blue quilted jacket, dark jeans, dark sneakers, had a navy blue Coach tote (with leather bottom and straps), from which she pulled a large Ziploc bag with tons of healthy snacks in it, including the little Ziploc of Goldfish she gave your son, who was happily skipping along beside her as they walked toward Van Ness. When they got to a parking garage, your nanny took your son's hand and showed him why it was dangerous to keep skipping where there might be cars entering and exiting, but she was kind and let him go once they'd passed, so he could enjoy his fishies.Your nanny was totally attentive, firm, and nice. It looks like she has a great rapport with your son. Congratulations!


Have you seen my nanny?

Received Tuesday, January 8, 2008
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The nanny has been located and the original post is being removed at the author's request. The individual who submitted this post contacted ISYN as one outlet to try and found out what happened to her nanny. In her position, who among us wouldn't want to know? The criticism directed at this employer; about whom we know nothing, was completely unnecessary.-JD 1/10/08 12:16 PM


W. 96th Playground in Central Park, NYC

Received Monday, January 7, 2007
Around noon today, (1/7) "Bryan" or "Brian" was being yelled at by his nanny because he wanted a drink and she had no beverages. He wanted to go to the fountain to get water and she said it was too far. She kept telling him to go back and play or he was going to get a nap. This nanny has no business being a nanny. Sometimes, you can just tell. This nanny was wearing a V neck turquoise long sleeved shirt with blue jeans and Adidas tennis shoes. The boy was wearing a brown leather jacket that looked like a bomber style. he was about 3.5 and had blondish hair. The nanny was sitting and talking with a nanny that looked like could be her sister. Both were Hispanic, with what I presume is a Native American mix, in their 30's, wide faces, straight hair. The boy was Caucasian. So that the boy would go back and stop bothering her/interrupting her conversation, the nanny was literally pushing him away. (Pushing his back/jacket).

Glimpse of Employer Nude Changes Everything?

Received Monday, January 7, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
On Friday, I was let off early because mom and dad were both home. I am a live in and had plans to go spend the weekend with my friend in Darrien. When I got the car, I realized I still had a credit card of the mother's, so I quickly went in the house to take the card back to her. My path back in (don't want to explain it here as that would be too much detail) but at any rate, I quickly found myself face to face with the husband who came around the corner BUCK NAKED. I was within 10 feet of him and approaching a hall to turn in and he just kind of froze. He could have ducked back around his corner, but sort of stood there with a slight grin on his face. I was about four feet from where the hall turned and that brought me closer to him. In slow motion he continues to slightly grin at me. I didn't realize all of that until I replayed it later in my head. I quickly found the wife and handed her the credit card. I then told her that something embarrassing had happened and I felt so bad and I told her that I accidentally just saw her husband nude. It bears saying here that she and I have a really good employer/employee relationship and friendship. I didn't think before telling her but did think I should tell her. She kind of froze and I thought a look of anger crossed her face. I told her I was sorry and I went out to the car another way so I wouldn't chance passing him by again. This morning, my male employer was nice to me as always. No change. My female employer was bitchy and she left me a list of things to do that are not things I normally do. For example, "wind up the hose the gardners left out" and "since today is an open day for you, why don't you sweep the porches off". She never asks me to do things like that. Now what? I feel like everything is instantly different. I know she doesn't think it was intentional. I didn't mention to her about her husband's slight smile. In fact I don't think that is even relevant. Help?

Recently Something Valuable Went Missing

Received Monday, January 7, 2008-Rant
This is a little rant and rave one I would like to get some opinions on.
OK so I have been a nanny for the same family for five years. They have a eight year old boy and a four year old girl. Recently something valuable went missing. My bosses claimed they looked everywhere and could not find it. They said they were going to have to file a police report in order to get the insurance value. bosses started questioning me. At first they just sort of asked if I had noticed the maids or gardeners in their rooms etc. But then they straight up asked me if I took it, and even went as far as saying it's OK we just want it back so if you did take it you can still keep your job if it is given back. For the record: I did not take anything. A week later I came into work and saw the missing item was sitting right on the counter in the kitchen. No explanation and my boss said nothing about it. I asked the older boy and he said that they had found it in the younger child's room and she had hid it because she wanted to play with it and didn't want to get in trouble. It has been a week now and my boss has yet to mention it or apologize for accusing me. Should I confront her for an apology or just leave it alone? I'm a little upset that after five years of hard work for them they would even think that I would steal from them. Can I get opinions on the matter from both employers and nannies please.


Winter Garden, WFC in NYC

Received Friday, January 4, 2007
I posted a couple of months ago about a nanny I spotted at World Financial Center. I've seen the usual share of inattentive and great nannies (one today, a slim African American nanny with long braided hair and a creme sweater attending two girls, perhaps 6 and 4, was incredible and is always interacting with the girls when I see them). Today I saw another nanny that made me feel I should post again.
When: around 3pm Friday, January 4
Where: Winter Garden, WFC
Nanny: This nanny was African American, medium build with very close cut hair (you can see her scalp) and dark brown/black frame glasses. She was wearing a black coat and jeans and tan sneakers with orange stripes and dark brown patches on the back heel. She has a dark blue cell phone. Had big gold hoop earrings.
Child: Toddler girl, anywhere from 12 months to 2 years old, light brown hair with bangs. She was wearing a fuzzy creme colored coat with black bow ties for buttons and a brown cable-like sweater. She had on pink Robeez-style shoes with princesses on them and was partly covered with a pink blanket with purple stitching on the edges with a horse and butterfly stitched in one part of the blanket. She was in a red stroller that looked kind of like a Mountain Buggy and said "tike tech" on one of the side handles/bars. She had a Learning Puppy toy in her lap, but was not interested in it.
Situation: I was taking a break and drinking a cup of coffee at a nearby bench. I was there about 15 minutes, maybe longer. The nanny was eating a snack--a bag of smart food popcorn--and the little girl was reaching out to her and trying to get her attention. She seemed to be reaching for some of the snack, because each time the nanny put some in her mouth, the girl reached out as if she was trying to get some. The nanny had the girl in a position where she couldn't fully see the nanny, but could see her head/the snack bag coming toward the nanny's mouth. The nanny completely ignored the girl's attempts to get her attention or get some snack (not saying she should give the child popcorn, but acknowledge her at least). The little girl finally gave up and sat there with tears. A man sitting at the bench by the nanny said something to the nanny about the girl, but I couldn't hear all of what he said (I saw him gesture toward the stroller and say what started with, "she's upset."). The nanny looked over for a second, did nothing and then got on her cell phone. I left the area about three or four minutes after that.

The Mag Mile in Chicago, Il

Received Friday, January 4, 2007
I saw your nanny sitting with another nanny, having a conversation while your charges were participating in an event. Problem nanny was wearing a North Face jacket, khakis, is slim, brown hair in pony tail, sneakers.
I sat behind them watching my nephew, while the two talked. Your nanny really spilled the beans about your home life - wife's boob job, how husband got a deal thru the plastic surgeon to get a girlfriend's boobs done at the same time, wife's overindulgent spending habits at Newman's, etc. Nanny also talked about husband's career - he was instantly identifiable based on what she said, and is a local Chicago businessman with a very high profile. Thanks to your nanny, who to her credit didn't id him by name, we all could have made some $$$ by calling a gossip magazine and handing them the story. This family lives in NY and LA, but is currently in Chicago on business, and living on the Gold Coast, and husband is more famous than wife, who, according to gossip nanny, resents that she gave up her career to support his. Nanny also said that the wife is pissed off right now because the husband was photographed for NY Social Diary with another woman and not her by his side,and that the husband is a botox addict who has a doctor come to the house so that he isn't photographed going to a plastic surgeon.I know more about this family, after 1 hour, than I do my own! Good news is: your little girl loves your nanny, who was affectionate and gentle with her. Bad news is, your nanny has a big, big mouth!


1025 5th Avenue in NYC

Received Thursday, January 3, 2007
Jan. 3rd 2008 Nanny going into 1025 5th ave. NYC 84th. Street entrance...side entrance carrying baby (7mos.-to 1 yr.) feet exposed in 13 degree weather baby girl had bare hands and feet. Very red feet and hands, told my husband to mind his own business when he told her to cover the child's feet and hands in the freezing weather. Nanny was wearing a jacket with "north lights" upper right hand corner of quilted long black (knee length coat).

Nanny in Northern NJ Asks for Your Advice

Received Thursday, January 3, 2007-Perspective & Opinion

Hello, I'm a well seasoned nanny that works for a pretty well off family. Well, I was just reviewing the site, and wondered if I can have a few of the families here--who have nannies--help.

I've been working for a family for a little more than three years. I bring home $885 a week , and work 12 hours or more a day. While I can't stand the father because he's freaking nuts, I love the mom, the moms family, and the kids. I can't take the dads family, they're just as nuts.

Anyway, I don't get medical coverage, and I'm not on the books (I have the option, but they don't push it. As I understand, they will have to pay more money if I get taxes taken out of my pay, and they will pay a portion of my medical insurance). I drive all of the time--in my own car--taking the kids where they need to go. I also get $25 a week for gas--that's tallied into my $885, btw. I do about 60-100 miles a week in my car. I bought a new car at the end of October, 2006. To date, my car is just a little over a year old, with 31,169 miles on it. I will have to give it up by the time it's paid, or before time. I talked to my boss about this this past August. I still don't have a car from them. I just wrote her an e-mail about it again today. No word, yet.

Here is my issue. For he past 3 years I've taken maybe 3 days off...and that's when I'm deathly ill. I always get sick from the kids, I only go on vacation when they do. They are messy, pigs. They have way too much of everything for their kids. I cook dinner, do chores I'm not supposed to like clean out the fridge, take the garbage out, feed and tend to the cat, purge the kids clothes of all of their summer, or too small clothes, take messages, wait for some sort of fix it man, grocery shop, and get rid of broken I clean up after them. They'll run their dishwasher over the weekend with tons of company dishes, and leave them to me to put away. Please keep in mind I help the school aged child with her homework, and am desperately trying to potty train the younger child!
When my birthday comes, I get a stupid gift, or maybe 100 dollars. At the end of the year, I get 100 dollars,ONLY! No other gifts, no bonus!
I've never complained because I thought I get good money, because I can come and go as I please, and use their washing machine, but in reality, I'm a teacher, and a trained professional nanny. I'm not someone off of the freakin' street.
The family adores me, appreciates me, praises me, and calls me the kids second mommy. If this is true, why treat me like shyt?!

To the parents that have nannies, tell me, what do you think of my situation, and how to I let this mom know I'm hurt?

PS: One day, I picked up the older child from summer camp. She had a red slap mark --with the fingers-- planted on her cheek. I asked her what happened, she told me. I went to the director and alerted her to the goings on of my charge's class. The director took care of it. When we got home, I hugged her, and placed an ice pack on her face. I then told her the next time he hits you, let me know, jokingly, I said, "I'll get him." Later, I told the mom what happened, she was appalled, and thanked me. When I saw the father, the child told him what happened, he looked at me for more information, and I told him. Do you know what he said to me? "That was nice, S, but next time, just leave it alone, I mean, you gotta go home, right, it's none of your business." I can cry right now thinking of this. For F*&^ sakes,I care for your kids throughout the day more than you, and you can't appreciate me defending your child?!!!! Are you f'ing kidding me?! So, I said to myself, maybe I'll let the little boy rape her next time (not really, just anger speaking, trust me...really, I'll kill first), and then he'll still tell me to mind my business. That's the smart a&&ed comments I have to deal with everyday...w/ no bonus.
Oh, and, can you stay late? This, after an 11 hour day.


Brookdale Park in Montclair, NJ

Received Wednesday, January 2, 2008-Follow Up
I'm not sure what else to do with this info but as a mom, I feel like I have to let someone know about it and I can't think of any other way to get this out to the Montclair parents who need to know about the danger their nanny put their child in today, (December 30, 2007). I want to remain anonymous.

My husband, daughter, and I were at Brookdale Park in the little playground December 30 at around 2:30 p.m. A little blonde girl around 4 yrs old came in w/a yellow tricycle, by herself. 10 minutes later a black woman with a Jamaican accent came into the playground and asked if I would watch the little girl while the nanny went to the bathroom (out of eye shot). I said yes, but I couldn't believe she was leaving the little girl alone with complete strangers. The nanny was gone over 15 minutes and my husband and I were considering taking the little girl to the police station. When the nanny came back she didn't interact with the little girl at all and stayed on her cell phone until we left the playground. I told the little girl that she should let her parents know that her nanny left her alone with us. The little girl referred to the nanny as "Denise". Denise was about 40 yrs old and had two gold front teeth with dollar signs engraved in the teeth.

I was absolutely horrified that this nanny left the little girl alone with complete strangers for over 15 minutes. As a parent, I'd want to know about this.