Scary Incidents...

Recently a friend of mine posted an article on Facebook talking about the uptick in child trafficking in certain cities in the US. The article talked about a foiled snatching and the mother's sense early on in the encounter that something just wasn't right.

It reminded me of an incident a few years ago while I as out with my charges (triplets, then two years old). I had offered to do the family grocery shopping since MB was having a busy week at work (and I enjoyed getting out of the house haha). She texted me a list, I packed up the kids, and off we went to Costco.

Since the shopping cart only had two seats/seatbelts, I had two of the kids buckled in and carried the third one on my hip. We got to the checkout and I pulled up to the self service kiosk, put the child down by my leg, between me and the cart (with the cart angled so she'd have had to climb through my legs to wander off) and began checking out.

I was not distracted at all, I had the cart full enough forward so that I could put things from the cart to the belt without breaking line of sight with the kids (because even though kidnapping was the LAST thing on my mind, I'm a bit paranoid lol). The kids and I were chatting as we checked out - stuff like, "Oh, here are the oranges! You like oranges, don't you? Here's the broccoli - what color is it?" Etc.

Two women were standing over by the other checkout line, hanging out. They had sodas from the snack bar but no shopping cart or items. They looked over at us and watched for a bit (which I'm used to when we go out - triplets are a bit of an oddity and my charges are CUTE). They walked a little closer and the first woman started asking questions - are they triplets, how old are they, etc. I answered politely but shortly and did not encourage the conversation.

At this age, one of the triplets was much smaller and fairer (and to be honest, "cuter") than the other two. Suddenly one of the women stepped right up to the cart and put her hands around her in a way that just scared me without being able to articulate why I was so freaked out (I realized later that the way she touched her was like she was figuring out how heavy she was, like how much effort would be required to pull her out of the seat).

I'm generally a person who gives everyone the benefit of the doubt and not a "scene" person at all, but I basically went into mama bear mode. I picked up the child by my legs and stepped between the kids in the cart and the women. I said, "Please don't touch my child. I don't know you. You're making me uncomfortable." They didn't immediately back off or apologize or any response that a normal person who accidentally scared someone might have. I kept repeating it, getting louder each time.

By now people were definitely looking, and the women left. I was freaked out, threw the groceries in the cart while still blocking the kids, and went out to the car, being hyper aware of my surroundings. I opened one door, put rhe kids inside, tossed the groceries in, and locked us all inside to calm down.

I definitely didn't realize while it was happening why I was reacting the way I did (a lot of warning signals I wasn't consciously aware of and only realized later) and I'm sure I looked like an easy target (single adult, three young kids, trying to check out and keep everyrhing together). But it was actually kind of a good feeling after to know that I instinctively responded the way I should have, if that makes any sense.

Has this ever happened to any other nannies or caregivers?


I need to vent.... and want opinions please!

I need to vent (and ask opinions of other fellow nannies)

I am the nanny of a 3 year old and now 4 month old baby. I was working 60 hours plus a week and the parents recently hired a pt nanny who comes 2 half days a week. I like the parents I work for; but the parenting sucks.. It makes for my day pretty rough. Currently training the 3 year old on the potty. Parents have him sitting on his little potty in front of TV. Child was doing fabulous until a few days ago where he just refused to go. I (the nanny) have him in big boy pants all day and he (the child) loves the idea. He wants to be the big kid. When mom has him it's straight to the pull ups- although child doesn't want to. Yesterday (child was going to school with mom- it's a preschool/ parent involved class) He was in big boy pants and I told him he needed to go potty before he left with mom. I mentioned that he had big boy pants on. Mom said I don't want to deal with that at school- he needs to be in pull ups. Child had a total melt down- he wanted his big boy pants.. Parents don't encourage at all.

Other ways she really makes bite my tongue...

Since we hired the new person- I thought it would be nice for the older child to spend quality time with me- I've been with him since he was 5 months old- so I asked mom if it would be okay to take C out while new person was at home with baby- doesn't want baby out in cold- mom refused. "I don't want new person to do nothing while baby sleeps. All he (older child) wants to do is play". No he wants someone's attention!!!! And that's really hard with a little one...

Since new person can set her own days (I'm okay with this) she set to work M and W of next week. Mom has an important conference (C school day) at work; and so I asked her if she wanted new person to come over on that day and I would take C to school. She refused.. "I don't want to change her schedule if I don't have too- um she was changing it anyway as she is going out of town... Really?

Every since baby was born and mom has gone back to work- things in her have changed. I know she is stressed about work and I give her the benefit of the doubt; but I am so frustrated.

Help! I'm in a Pickle!

So I'm in a pickle. I started working with this current family a little over a year ago. I was at the time working about 45 hours a week but they were very flexible. I was paid a weekly salary. I had vacation but never had to use it because I worked most of my hours in a few (long) days and the other days were a few hours here and there. The long days were rough but having the early long weekend was worth it. Well when I was interviewed they said no cleaning would be involved. If I had time, I would clean a little and do some dishes. I would also take the kids out to activities, something else they never asked for. Well suddenly if I didn't do the dishes they would mention it as if it were a requires duty. Also if I didn't take them out one day I was grilled about it. Then the hours changed. I was told i would still get out earlier one day a week but when the time came I was still pulling 5 long 10-11 hour days. I'm also in school at night and they knew this when I was hired. When I finally mentioned this they seemed very annoyed. They've seemed to be trying to work with me but only temporarily. So after a while it will go back to the other hours. I'd love to work with them but I need shorter days or maybe 4 long days and 1 regular one where I can just get out a couple hours early. I've nannied and worked in centers for years. I also don't get paid for the overtime that I've started working and she had promised a nanny contract but still hasn't "gotten to it" over a year later. Those are all things I should've mentioned before and now I'm so burned out. Idk what to do. Any advice? Am I being crazy or is this not ok?


Kudos To You - Our Readers Kick Scammers' Tooshes

The Old Check Fraud Attack!! ( from Leigh)

Our blog has just now helped a major media outlet with a great reputation learn about a scam that happens to potential nannies. The scammers gain the trust of the vulnerable nanny who of course needs a job and sustenance , gaining her gratitude and joy by sending some advance pay for time and supplies ( as much as $5000 ), and then asking for some of it back blah blah. Well, you know the rest - the original money is fake, it eventually bounces and the evil-doers have the nanny's hard won money earned thru blood sweat and tears while the nanny is overdrawn and in debt!

Good job ISYN!! Your report inspired talented members of the media to investigate to help other nannies! The report is coming up after the weekend and we will get it to you!!

meanwhile - anyone reading this who has been scammed for money as a nanny there are people who wish to know and help - email us !

key words - fraud against nannies, abuse against nannies, steal money from nannies, lie to nannies


Suggestions please!!

I am a nanny for a 2 1/2 year old and almost 3 month (13 pound) boys. C was a super easy baby. Slept in crib at 2.5 months. J is transferring from soft bassist like rocker to his crib which he absolutely refuses. We tried everything- rocking to sleep (put in) instant wake up, letting him cry for a few- pick me up now!! We want to try to transfer him to crib but don't want to take time away from 2.5 year old. HELP please!!

Am I underselling myself?

Hello out there! I am hoping to get some feedback on my current situation. I recently started working a FT nanny position with a family who has 3 children. The youngest just turned 1 and the oldest is 7 (in school all day until summer). The middle boy is 5 and only goes to school until around 11.30 a.m. I was hired to work 45 hours per week with OT pay for every hour over 40. So far I have only worked one 45 hour week. On average I have been working around 42 hours per week. I make $13/hr before taxes and $19.5 OT. All this after taxes figures out to $11/hr ONLY IF I am working the full 45/wk. Any fewer hours and I make slightly under 11. I am there 7.30 a.m. till 3.30 or 4.30 everyday and do all the kids laundry and all the dishes for the household, everyday (which means an overflowing sink everyday). I also tidy up the kids rooms and playroom downstairs which is LOADED with, not kidding, probably thousands of toys. I also drive the kids around to school and activities, however, a vehicle is provided for me. I work in a very fancy area filled with wealthy families. I believe having a FT nanny (who cares!) and PT housekeeper is a luxury and is worth more than $11/hr. Especially when considering I do not have any benefits and must buy my own health insurance. Am I way off base? Everyone in my life including a few nanny friends keep telling me I am underselling myself. I like the family but I am 26 (27 soon) and feel that if I work 40-45/wk I should be able to afford to buy decent health coverage and put at least a little money away for the future. I would appreciate any in-put on this! Thank you!

Hi I'm new to this group and I joined because I definitely need some advice from other nannies

I have been working for the same family for the past 3 years.
When I started it was just one boy who was a newborn. My pay started at 450 per week.
After one year I got an annual raise and got 480.
The mom got pregnant after some months and when my next annual review rolled around she was about to give birth. So I got a big new baby raise. $600 per week!
That was one year ago. I had my annual review the other day and was told since child #1 was starting preschool in the fall I don't get any raise because he will be in someone else's care and I'll just have baby #2 to take care of. They want me to pick up other duties since I will have more time. They also want to add two extra hours per week and have that extra money be my raise. (No raise per hour. I'm currently at $17 and they want to keep it that way)

Here are my current duties:

Taking care of children (obviously)
Family laundry once a week (sometimes more)
Emptying dishwasher daily
Extreme flexibility (they are late constantly and always ask me to come early/stay late)
Taking care of dog
Picking up after children and meals
Taking children to appointments
I also potty trained their toddler on my own

Once child #1 goes to school they want me to do some other duties including:

Grocery shopping
Dry cleaning
Meal prep for parents for when they come home
basically, whatever they ask of me I'll do since I'll have time with just one baby.

Perks of job:
One week paid vacation
They pay taxes for me
I also get paid when they go on vacation and I get to stay home (although I do take care of their dog when they're gone)

So my question is- is no raise fair? I feel like regardless of whether or not child #1 goes to preschool I should be getting an annual hourly increase because of everything I do for them and how much time I invest with their family. I have never complained or called in sick once after three years. These people are very wealthy (combined they bring home about 800k a year) and I feel as if I'm being nickel and dimed. The contract says I'm eligible for a 3-5 percent raise annually. They complain about money and that's another reason they don't want to give me a raise. But it's hard to believe since they also want to send their toddler to a 25k a year preschool and they bought a million dollar house last year. And they want to skip my raise. I'm a little upset. Advice please?


What do I do?

Today I was told that the oldest of three children has lice. They just found out today when at school. My problem is being their nanny do I risk and go into work and risk being exposed to possibly getting lice myself, which I hear is very hard to get rid of, or not. My option via my boss was I could use paid time off. Of course who wants to use their paid time off for something that was unplanned and nobody's fault? Of course I can't afford to just not be paid and take the time off. I don't know what to do at this point. Am I being petty? How do I go about this?


Need Advice - Is there a solution here??

I recently started nannying part-time for a four-month-old. The baby won’t bottle feed, so I go to the mom’s work to watch her (they have a spare office where we set up). I normally hate even working for work-from-home parents, but she is a friend of a friend and they are desperate for childcare help in the face of this unexpected obstacle.

For whatever reason, the baby has not adjusted well to me being there. I suspect it’s because her parents have been doing almost all the childcare up until this point, and it’s stressful to add a stranger in the mix. Normally I would not be that stressed about this, but because of the environment, it doesn’t feel like this is working out. Baby cries often, and her mom usually rushes in to soothe her if it goes on for more than a minute in order to reduce disruptions to the office. I get it, but because of this, baby expects her mom to come every time she cries. If mom is in a meeting, baby can cry for the whole hour or two with no let up and no solution, because she expects her cries to bring her mom back. She pretty much will not be soothed by me.

I would tell mom to give her time to soothe without coming in, especially because she has mentioned being stressed about reduced productivity, but it’s a difficult situation. Recently, after baby was crying relentlessly while mom was in a meeting, her boss “dropped by” to say, “Man, she sure was noisy today!” in a really pointed way, and likes to mention things like this pretty regularly. So obviously just letting baby cry a little while she adjusts to mom being gone is not going to work if mom is going to keep her job. Other employees (almost all of whom are moms, and so kinda get it) also drop in regularly to offer advice if she’s crying, which, while well intentioned, never really helps the actual problem.

The whole situation is driving me nuts. The “friendly advice” and hyper-attentive mom make me feel like they think I’m the worst nanny in the world, when really I know it’s just the circumstances and (hopefully!) nothing about me that is causing this. I know the parents are super stressed and I would hate to add to that by making them have to look for other childcare, but I don’t know how much longer I can do this. I leave totally exhausted—mentally, emotionally, and even physically from all the bouncing and rocking and attempts at soothing—often to go to another nannying job, since this is only part-time. Is there a solution here??



Sound off from Current Nanny vs. New Nanny

So I found out yesterday that my 2 1/2 year old charge (I have been with for 2 years) is going to be going to "school" 5 days a week 730-530. My time with this family is Tuesday thru Friday- 7:00-6:00pm. Mind you: they gave me a "raise" $11 for one child; $13 for when I have both kids. I am never going to see my charge at all. In my opinion; it's too long of a day for him. They won't let me take the baby outside; so therefore can't take or pick up C from school.

Here's the thing:

Having a nanny is a luxury. You pay for a luxury the same way you'd pay for a luxury car or a luxury cruise or a fine dining experience - in other words, you have every right to expect certain things for your money, but you pay the price.

Let me offer an example: a nanny gets an hourly rate that is higher than a daycare rate. It's expected that she will get regular raises. A bonus at Christmas is pretty standard (one week's pay for every year worked). An expectation to a minimum number of hours. A week of paid vacation. These things are STANDARD, not signs of a generous employer.

I don't know if this is more a rant or an entreaty to parents, but I'm dealing with a situation right now with my NF that is leaving me a little bitter.

I live in an area where nannies are not common, so I considered myself blessed to find a new NF several years ago after my then - current charge started school (I had more than three years wjth that family, and continue to work for them when they need a sitter or short term care). I hit it off with the parents, hit it off with the kids, and was coming off of six months employment, so I went ahead and took the job WAY below market rate, even for my area, and way below my personal rate - we're talking $10/hour for three kids, all under age 2 (and the time) and special needs/multiples. I was so glad to be working again. I've now been working for them for several years, and while I don't think they mean to take advantage of me, I think they just don't think about how their actions affect me. :(

When I started, the family was in a medical crisis and required someone literally every time the kids were awake. I was working almost round the clock, seven days a week (in excess of 80 hours) and DB says it's too much for them to afford, so offered me afford flat rate of $500 per week. He said they'd "remember this later" with a tone of appreciation (and the insinuation that when the crisis was over, they'd make it up to me monetarily). I didn't go back to hourly until almost ten weeks later. Again, at the time I needed the money so badly it was like a godsend, and worth it to keep the job long term, but sometimes when I think of how much money I lost, I could scream. They never "remembered it later" unless you count the time months later that my car died right before vacation, and they asked me to work on my day off and paid me for five hours instead of three "to help out".

Over the years, the pattern has held. I have never gotten a bonus, nor any paid vacation. I have gotten regular raises so I'm just now - after years and another kid - approaching a base market rate. This year, at the beginning of the school year, we talked about me taking on some additional responsibilities, so they offered me a slightly bigger raise to compensate for the incidental time I spent on my own time. I found out then that they gave the other nanny the same raise (even though she was not expected to take on any additional responsibilities).

Which leads me to my current problem. At the beginning of the school year, when i took on additional responsibilities, it required me to give up or reduce some other side jobs I'd been doing. I was upfront with with them about this, pointed out that I'd need to depend on them now for that lost income, and they agreed. So for four months now I've been working about 35 hours a week (give or take no more than am hour or two).

I asked to take off a week over Christmas break because MB would be home, and the week I was supposed to come back, the family decided to go on vacation for a week. When I finally did come back, they told me that "things were tight right now" and they'd need to cut my hours a little temporarily. They assured me they knew I still had bills to pay, they'd take care of me, etc.

This week I was scheduled to work 27 hours; they cancelled even more hours so now I'll only be working 18 this week. I have bills that I won't be able to pay this month. No clear end date in sight. And, frankly, I'm a bit peeved. My dad says I should say something like "don't worry, I can use the extra time to go job hunting" which obviously I could never do, but sums up my feelings well.

I'm a good nanny. This is not in dispute - they rave about me, MB frequently says she wouldn't be able to get along without me, she's so glad I'm in the kids lives, etc. I do light housework, I do laundry, I help keep the household running smoothly. I've been with them through thick and thin - deaths in the family, behavioral problems, other undependable nannies, etc. It's very hard to not feel underappreciated.

Ironically, I have a side job where I never work more than 7 hours a week, and my boss there goes above and beyond. My first year I got two weeks pay as always bonus; this year I got a month's pay. When he found out I bought a new car after my old one died this summer unexpectedly, he gave me a random bonus (almost a month's pay) to help out with the unexpected expenses. This is pretty typical for him. It's hard not to compare the two. :(


Anything else I can do??

A woman in my family is working as a nanny in Louisiana. She gets her positions through a nanny service she works for. What the parents she nannies for don't know is that in Texas, the state she is from, she has had 2 CPS cases against her for neglect of her children (the worst incident being when she was passed out in her room and the kids got out of the house naked at ages 1 and 2). Both cases were dismissed but, I can tell you from witnessing her "parenting", they shouldn't have been. She was also charged with assault against her ex-husband shortly after their divorce. Since then she has lost custody of both children to her ex-husband. I have informed the very well known nanny company she works for of these issues. I told them this about 2 years ago and she continues to work for them. Is there anything else I can do?


" 'Let Me Tell You What Really Happens At This Place' ".

Fine. Tell me about it.

I am the OP of the post about the director who wouldn't help me with an issue at my old center. The story of this post is the new position as a center director that I accepted and started at the end of December. I found the center on social media, and walked into apply for a teaching position. The owner, an older African lady with a heavy accent, looked at my qualifications and hired me as the new director, as I am qualified for a center director in both WI and IL. I feel blessed with opportunity and within the two weeks that I have been there, I have made subtle changes that parents and even the state licensor have noticed. The owner is very pleased with my work, and is onsite if I have questions about anything. In other words, we are working hard to put the center back together, and make it better than before.

Before. Before. The owner said the other day that she wishes I got there sooner, as there was so much crap that happened: and it was due to the leadership (old directors) and the staff. The owners travel back home to their country and are sometimes out of state due to family obligations, therefore, they trusted the old management and staff to provide high quality care. That didn't happen: files were a mess, repeated liscensing violations for attendance (and not signing children in or out, etc) and more. Staff would come into work high, smelling of weed, they would group all the children together in one room including infants and just let the children play. Like a party. From what the owner said, it was a hot mess. So bad to the point that families left and did not return due to the staff and management. There is more, but you get the idea. Former employees who quit or were terminated are attempting to have their jobs back. These employees have the attitude that the owner will hire anyone, including former employees. These people are sending their relatives to apply for positions without qualifications and/or experience. A former family attempted to return to the center but the owner said no, largely because the mother gossips too much, and the owner feels that the parent will bring drama to the center, something she is trying to avoid. In fact, she even asked the owner to re-hire a teacher who pinched children, and offered to bring someone in to " 'keep an eye on ____' " (me, the director).

Talk about drama. Social media is huge now when finding childcare-in my area, there is a FB page where parents seeking care and family child care providers, plus center directors and nannies (like myself) can create posts accepting enrollments or seeking jobs. That being said, a center in the area closed and parents of that center are panicking, as the owner of that center gave families twelve hours notice. Speculation is that the center won't be open by Monday, and I posted on that same thread that we are accepting enrollment and applications for qualified, experienced teachers. The former director of my center is also on that page, and she is the assistant director at a different center. I posted contact info for families. A person wanted to know if we were accepting enrollment for an infant, and the person also mentioned she was looking for a job. I told her to call me. The person who posted below me was the old director, and this is what she said:

" 'Be careful of ____. Still waiting for my last check' ".

Seriously? Posting THAT on FB? On a thread where you know people are searching for childcare and teachers seeking positions. How professional is that?

In the two weeks I have been there: I separated children by age, something that wasn't done before. I wrote up a teacher for not having accurate attendance, after being told repeatedly by the owner she needs to work on that. I created labels for infant belongings, and made new daily sheets. I have a tracking system and opening/closing checklists, and daily/weekly/monthly cleaning sheets. I'm evaluating staff and working on a new curriculum. I also created new schedules and reminding the staff to follow DHFS rules. The classrooms are not allowed to play in the large room, which is the classroom of our 4-5 year olds and school age. The center is clean. Organized. I'm doing things that were never done before by the old management.

The owner supports me and loves it. Due to the area that we are located in, we have mainly state funded families, however, our location is excellent, due to the highway access. We are attempting to market to private pay families.

When the parent left Friday night, she said " 'call me anytime so I can tell you about this place' ". This family pulled their children for reasons that I felt didn't make sense, but to each his own.

My assessment? I feel like the owner is very easy to talk to, and I am learning from her about running a business and marketing. Most of all, I think she is very nice, and I feel blessed to have this opportunity, something that I was denied in my old center because I wasn't friends with the right people. Just yesterday, the staff and I came in on Saturday to clean up and organize for an open house that I am planning on having in a few weeks.

We're not done, but we are getting there. I have a tours scheduled for tomorrow for new enrollment, and I am praying every night that I can do this. I'm overwhelmed, anxious and excited. This is the bravest thing I have ever done, and I know I can do it.

Keep talking. Say whatever you want. Your words don't scare me. They just make me work harder and do better. Perhaps your upset because you screwed up and are just not realizing it. That's not my fault. It's yours. It takes teamwork to create something, and more teamwork to maintain it. Just like the old team created a huge mess, the new team is working hard to clean it up. Opinions are fine, but make sure you have actual facts to base them. The owner did nothing to you, you did something to the business, like selling weed on the property, not doing your job and more. All the crap that happened could've cost the owner her business. And say what you want about me. I take my job seriously. I'm sorry if you don't.


Blast from the past - when I was nannying for a 13 year old kid in the early 80's, he was working thru some racism directed at his family. His mom and sisters did not like him talking about it but I would listen. He would play this song all the time and sing loud when the song mentioned his group. It did help me learn about how kids can be sensitive to verbal attacks on those they love and themselves.

Have kids helped you learn?

Tom Lehrer - National Brotherhood Week

Current Nanny vs. New Nanny

Okay, So the family I have worked with for 2 years (3 this coming September) just had a baby. So right now- I am on moms hours (average around 30 a week) while she is finishing her maternity leave. Upon my MB returning to work- she has decided to enroll her older son (my current charge- I have cared for since he was 5 weeks) into preschool. I like the idea. He will still have time with me but he needs to socialize with other children. I wasn't allowed to take him many places.

Now the new schedule is shaping to be like this:

Me: 4 full days (3 of C being in school) 11 hour days. When I have one child- I am at $10 an hour- with both children- my rate goes up to $12

The new person that they want to hire is: 1 full day (same as above) and picking up C from school/ maybe drop offs - all 3 days of school (that has not be decided) and she is at $15 an hour- no matter what.

I have 16 years experience and she has had only 9 years.

Does this seem off to anyone? Nannies, I want to get your opinion on this. Thank you.

Worst Job....EVER

Had the worst nanny job ever. 3 year old twin boys and a 7 year old girl. The father had passed away from an overdose five months prior. I went to meet with the mom and immediately after walking in, one of the twins tried to punch mom and called her a "b". He wasn't happy about being asked to not play so loudly or throw stuff. That should have been a clue but I still took the job out of desperation. I was told that once a week a therapist came to work with the boys on behavior. The mom absolutely never disciplined the boys. no matter what. She would tell them but not follow through. I on the other hand, always gave time outs for bad behavior. Not these time outs consisted of making the boy stay in his room (which had no toys because they destroyed everything). I would sit in the doorway not saying anything while they threw their tantrum and screamed bloody murder. They began to hate me because I always followed through with what I said. no meant no. no toy if you kick. no donut if you spit. And yes, the twins would bite, scream, spit, kick, punch, call swear words, try to literally kill each other every single day. It was absolutely exhausting to have two of them there. The therapist who came did nothing but play a board game with one twin at a time each week. At one point, during a time out the boy ripped out his dresser drawer and threw it at me landing on my foot and breaking my toe. I extended his time out and as usual, made him pick up his clothes. (wishing a good spanking could be given, believe me). Mom came home and I explained. nothing more. Now a week later (after about 7 months of being with them) the same twin needed a time out for trying to throw his brother down the stairs. In his room he goes. This time he went for the top drawer and pulled it onto his face. He got his time out and when she came home I explained the line on his face and why his entire dresser was thrown around the room. Next morning I get a call before work that she doesn't want me to come in and he said I had punched him in the face. I had NO words. I explained that the boys were just mad that they get their time outs and she should know by now that they behave this way. She said she couldn't risk me being there anymore. So, fine. Next week I get a call from social services wanting to talk to me about the incident. I explained my view and was very upset that lies were being told about me. I waited a few days and contacted the social worker wondering what the outcome was. I was told that the boy changed his story and said he had fallen on the side of his race car bed so they figured it wasn't true. After all that I was completely terrified to be in charge of a child who could completely ruin my life on a whim. The mother ended up asking me back and I said HELL no.

Worst Job Ever


The Dinner, Interview and Being Too Nice

I advertised on social media about being available for weekend childcare. Having been a weekend nanny with an education background, I was specific about the schedule and the pay. I got a response from a family located a half hour from me. The drive wouldn't be that bad because it is mainly interstate. I met the parent, a single mother with sole custody of her son; dad isn't in the picture. She is a sweet person, offered me the position which is one weekend per month, totaling 28.5 over the two days, Saturday and Sunday. This would be in addition to working full time during the week. As it turns out, she is the sister of a family enrolled in my old center, and may know my former nanny family, as this mother and my MB are both in the same field. 

When I wrote the ad, I was specific as well in pay: $10-15/hr, negotiable. This position pays $50/day, which is $100 per weekend. That is well below what I want, and the only reason I accepted the position is because she's a single mom, very nice and I know her sister. 

After thinking about it, I don't want the position. Part of it is the fact that I have to be there at 6a, which is getting to be the norm for me with my new job. The other part is that I would be there 14 hours both days, not to mention the pay. I have great pay with my new position, but I am trying to move and have bills to pay, just like anyone else. 

Is there a decent way to tell her I'm not interested? I drove out to her after work, she bought me dinner. I don't feel like I wasted anyone's time, but I also don't want to upset her, either.

from a reader..... what do you think about this?

Hi! I stumbled on your blog and read your article about how shocking the nanny industry here is. Are you still looking for employment? My husband and I live in Orchard Park (20 minutes from city of Buffalo). We have a son who is almost 2. I work part time and we are looking for a nanny 2-3 days a week. Depending on what it is you would do (any cleaning etc) , we could pay $10-$15. If interested, I would love to talk.


PS. if you would like her contact info just ask!

Looking for advice on how to give constructive feedback to nanny

Looking for a way to help 'right the ship' with my new nanny. I really like her and want to build a good relationship. We are 2 weeks in. She is sweet and generally trustworthy, so I fear her feeling attacked or criticized. What approach has worked best for other nannies?

She watches my 4month old weekday mornings from 8am-1:30pm. Here's what I wanted to address. Please let me know (kindly :)) if I am off base on any of these.
- I would like her to spend more time playing and interacting. i.e. Tummy time, and some developmental exercises recommended by the pediatrician. Currently she spends around 3 hours napping with her in the nursery with the door closed which is long to me considering the baby's naps are usually only 20-50 minutes. My husband doesn't think such a short shift warrants needing a nap considering we don't nap during those times. (nanny is in her 40's).
- I'd like her to handle some of the baby chores while the baby naps. Currently she naps with baby in the rocking chair. This does not sound like a safe practice, but as a sleep deprived new mom I know I've dozed off like this in the past so I'm trying not to judge. I'd prefer she put the baby down in the crib for naps and uses that time to get any baby chores done like washing bottles, sterilizing, baby laundry or taking a snack break/reading break for herself. Instead, she uses baby's awake hours to do all this.
- I'd like her to leave a quick note on how things went. Very short, just so we know how much she drank, any diaper changes or anything she noticed that was unusual like wheezing, excessive spit up, started coughing. This can either be on paper or verbally to my mom who takes over at 1:30pm.
- Lastly, I'd like her to put things back before she leaves. Wash any bottles she used, return any toys or books that she took out, move the rocking chair back to the living room (or don't move the rocking chair at all).




I volunteered to come babysit C while mom was at hospital having a baby. I am usually Monday-Friday 7:45am to 6:00pm. I was called to duty about 1:00am Friday morning and stayed with C until 5:30pm when we went to hospital to meet baby. Do I ask for that in pay? I got my normal paycheck via PayPal..