Friday

From a Regular - Good Nanny Has Fun Sometimes And Can Use Tips On Hangover Prevention

Went to watch some games at a local bar with my boyfriend tonight. I drank more than I normally do when I have to work the next day. Any tips for a hangover when you are a nanny? I won't be drunk and probably no hangover, I normally don't get them. But I would to hear what you have to say !!!

Thursday

HORRIBLE NANNY? NOT!!!

I've worked for my current family for 9 months. I have 10 years of experience and glowing references. They have a 3 year old and now a 1 year old. At first they were very receptive to conversations and any question or issue I had. As time has passed they were less and less interested. I asked for my 6 month review and sort of got one ( they both emailed me on a thread). I negotiated a raise ( not that much) and brought up for the 2nd time the 3 yo's behavior ( mean,calls me bad names,says they're going to "tell on me" when I am enforcing a rule they don't like). Mom and Dad always profess to want to work on it but have yet to set boundaries. It's incredibly confusing to them and makes sense why they act out constantly. I spoke to them 3x in 4 months about the behavior. The word "no" is rarely enforced and when it is both parents have lost their cool. Long story short,I found another job and accepted it. I gave a month notice and the parents have both been extremely rude. The mom in particular has been incredibly passive aggressive and going to work makes me ill every day. She asked why and I told her I found a better fit somewhere else. I needed to work less (I currently work 50-60 hours a week with no OT.She is very unprofessional and rude to me daily. I'm imagining that I won't receive a reference from them.

How horrible am I to not work the last 2 days of my months notice? I feel awful but the idea of having to spend them RE-EXPLAINING and handling unprofessional attitudes makes me cry. Any input welcome !!!

Wednesday

Use of Discipline

I was kind of confronted on a previous post and if the editors will let me I want to address a different issue,other than my original one, brought up in the comments. I give treats and toys to kids, and plan activities also in a furniture store. Never was a nanny but had 3 younger siblings, minored in Child Development.

In my PP I mentioned that sometimes a mom or nanny will let one kid have the treat but not the other one " because they have been bad"

My policy is to say, " Well let me put this in Mommy's keeping, and she will decide when there is improvement and time for the treat"
I got jumped on here for that but I can say that it works every time. It reinforces the authority of the nanny or mom, it gives the child a "carrot" so to speak to meet expectations. Notice I am not using the word "good" as calling kids "bad" is atrocious in my view.

And now my RANT! Assuming the child does not have a medical condition barring treats, or a religious reason etc - and the other kids are allowed the give away- I don't like the parent/nanny using me as the bad guy with the kids. I do not like seeing them sad in my section as their siblings get something special and they do not. IMO the discipline should be something between you and them - a fave tv show or video game or going to bed early etc.

My job re: my boss is to make the kids smile, make them look forward to coming to the store and I don't want to be involved in making the kids feel bad. I don't want to take away any one's authority - but cannot adults compromise and work together? It's what we teach the kids.

Monday

Question!

My bosses just told me this morning that they are excepting their second child.. Happy Nanny wants to ask when is a good time to talk to them about raises, maternity leave, all that good stuff? Should I bring it up first? Thank you.

Favoritism ? Bad Nanny Sighting San Antonio

I work at a large furniture store with a big lunch area and my job is to hand out samples of fun things to eat. I regularly see a nanny with 4 charges - an older girl,younger girl,younger boy, and a baby. I have briefly spoken to them enough to know that the boy is her child and the rest are her nanny kids. I get uncomfortable because she treats the little girl unkindly IMO. On one occasion she let all the kids have a little treat except the girl because of something the girl had done- not eating everything, so I wrapped the treat up and said "I bet she will be good and can have it later". She lets her own child spend time receiving give aways while finding ways for this little girl to not receive anything. I try to immediately pay attention to the girl so she gets something, but the situation worries me as the little girl does have developmental things going on which are not being addressed. I could not file a complaint, I would lose my job so - any suggestions or insight would be helpful.

Tuesday

Art Project

Hi! Have a project I made for my charge, almost 8 months old that you may want to post. I just used a big piece of cardboard as the base. 1) Hot glued various items with different textures. For example I did several different fabrics, pom poms, popsicle sticks, rattling wrapping paper, sand paper,a sponge, bubble wrap. Other ideas are carpet samples or any number of other things from around the house. 2) Then to reinforce and make sure baby couldn't tear them off I put duct tape around the flat pieces (used Velcro fastener for several items...) 3) to add a little more challenging aspect, and help with additional learning I cut pieces of felt fabric big enough to cover each item and hot glued it at the top to make a flap. That's it, pretty simple idea, could change it up in various ways.

Monday

First time Nanny has a gifting question

Hiii! I love your website! I find it so helpful as this is my first tine being a nanny! I had a question, I want to gift my MB a gift from the kiddos (9 months & 4) on Mothers Day, any suggestions? I had planned to do their handprints in clay but she recently did that herself, if you have any ideas it would be greatly appreciated! TIA!

Friday

This was posted on our facebook page....

This is the first paragraph. some pretty good stuff here. click the link to read the entire article...

You’re not backing her up on discipline.

Everyone wants to say, “my kids are easy.” In every ad a nanny reads, she sees lines like, “they really are good kids.” Let’s be honest, kids are not easy. Having kids is one of the most challenging things we do as human beings and we mess up all the time where raising them is concerned. Having a nanny means one of two things: a.) you are part of a dual income family and schedules are such that you MUST have a third parent around or b.) you have a ton of kids and your spouse needs support. Either way, you have hired an awesome woman (or man) who is co-parenting with you. If you trust her with your kids, we assume you trust her parenting methods. Here is a little bit of truth where kids are concerned: they are different around certain people. Your child may be great for mommy, and really difficult for daddy. Your kids may be great for your nanny and horrible for you. Your nanny may get the bulk of the bad behavior. Whatever the case, back her up when she disciplines your child. If little Johnny was poorly behaved all day and she took away a fun evening privilege, stick to her punishment. DON’T abandon her discipline once she leaves for the evening. This isn’t for her benefit, but for the benefit of your child. Consistency is very important when co-parenting. For the daddy, mommy, nanny, and baby home to thrive, you have to be a strong team member for your other co-parents. If you fail to do this, you’ll have a confused child and a very frustrated nanny.


http://www.mygirlfri.com/your-nanny-is-quitting-heres-why/

Wednesday

Monday

Stroller License Plates - Who Knew?

Many blogs and child care activist groups are now advocating stroller license plates - yet another big brother idea to watch the population. Has anyone encountered this? And if you were required to have a stroller license plate would you agree?



We have been talking with a journalist who has a question - Have you, as a Nanny, ever been falsely accused or misjudged by someone spying on you or by the MB or DB etc judging you unfairly? ( MY ex. is I put the child's red cap on instead of blue on a walk and got free coffee for me and orange juice for him and the mother ran 4 blocks with the blue cap to accuse me of not putting on his cap. Then saw the cups and accused me of giving him coffee until she saw the juice)

Tuesday

Uncle Cody Not Happy With Star Wars

I took my 5 year old nephew to the new Star Wars movie and 5 minutes into it there is a scene with blood/gore in the fighting which upset him. Also - there were plot points which made no sense such as a young girl learning to be a Jedi in one day. It { edited P-word} me off that these - who are they? - Market a movie like this to kids - the pajamas, toys, and all - but the movie itself is "rated" against the kids, I did not even think about what it was rated when I took him. I grew up with Star Wars and I understand Lucas sold it etc but I am unhappy I could not give my nephew the same experience I had at his age. I own a company which provides numerous different equipment options in re: child care.

Saturday

Nanny Kristen Reviews Zootopia. (Warning: R-rated Cartoon Description,j/k j/k )

I took my charges to see the movie "Zootopia". It was funny but yet again they managed to put something inappropriate in a kid's movie. The animals wear clothing throughout the movie but then there is a part where they have animals wearing no clothing because they are in a nudist colony. The animals with no clothing were doing yoga poses and stretches where their parts are. Granted you can't see the parts because they didn't actually make them on the animal but it is still obvious to a kid. If you watch the movie you will see what I mean. They could have left that part out. They put inappropriate stuff in kids movies more and more these days. They try to desensitize kids so that what is not ok becomes the norm and is not given a second thought. My family has very strong family values and we see through these garbage tactics - looking forward to my next nannies love kids treats.

From editor : We would love to hear some more movie reviews - things to be wary of and movies that hit the spot !

Thursday

This was posted on our Facebook Page... Bad Nanny, Beware!

Hello guys,
for 2 years I had a live-in nanny who last summer eloped with some money and possibly valuables, and leaving me a farewell note. it was rather unexpected considering she had great conditions, and in fact lived in my place June-July for free while working for someone else, while supposedly waiting for my kid to come back in September. What happened later, when my daughter came back from vacation and realized she wont see this woman again, she opened up with an avalanche of stories about how she was beaten, pushed, locked up in the bathroom, insulted, intimidated, and even left downstairs with the doorman many times. the whole story is long. I am posting her photo. her name is Lidiya Stetsko, she is Ukrainian, 62 years old, and is most likely hanging out somewhere on UES in Manhattan. Please let me know if someone sees her, or just inform the kid's parents! thank you!


JUST AN FYI and PLEASE BE VERY AWARE OF YOUR SURROUNDINGS!

This happened on March 14th in Houston, TX at a Target Store.

I need to share this with whomever it will help. Today, I went to Target on Bay Area Blvd in Houston, Texas. As I was entering the checkout line, two women came up behind me. Both white females, one in her late 40's and one in her 20's. The younger woman had her hair shaved short and a speech impediment. The both stood entirely too close to me, one on each side so that my exit from the line was blocked. Both were so close, I could have put my arm around either of them. I was wearing my son and had my 2 year old daughter in the cart. The younger woman instantly asked me how old my children were and what their names were. When I didn't answer her about the names, she retorted "what, you don't know their names?" She asked my daughter her name, and when she didn't reply, she said "that's ok, she doesn't have to tell me right now." She continued to ask me about my children. I was incredibly uncomfortable. Every alarm in my body was going off that something wasn't right about this situation.

I asked them to back up so that I could turn my cart around. I made a rather big deal about turning my cart around in line - because NO WAY was I putting my kid out of arms reach while I unloaded my cart. I kept my daughter next to me and turned the backwards cart at an angle so that I could reach the items to place on the belt. This way, the cart was between me and the women and my child was next to me.

Again, the older woman asked my daughter's name. By now, this was the 4th time one of them had asked her name. I replied and said we were learning about stranger danger and she didn't have to reply. The younger woman answered this by saying "oh at some point, she will have to talk to strangers. What if she gets lost in this store? Try as we may, you'll take your eyes off of her at some point." She stared at me as she said this. WHO SAYS THIS? The older woman again asked my daughter her name, to which I loudly instructed my daughter not to answer her.

By now, I was acting so uncomfortable that the cashier was aware. Two other cashiers came over to help her. They scanned and loaded all of my items for me because I was not leaving my child one inch. I paid for my items and left. As I loaded my things and my kids into the car, I watched the door and parking lot. The two women never came out of target. This happened around lunch time. I am a prime candidate for being targeted. I have a child of the "right" age and am "distracted" shopping alone.

I am an ER nurse. Part of my skill set is that I can rapidly and accurately assess a situation - my patients lives depend on that skill. This situation and these women...there was no good intention in this situation. Whatever their goal, and I have my ideas, it was not for good. I called the manager as I left the store and am thankful she took my concerns seriously. She immediately sent her security team to find the women.

I am 100% convinced I encountered evil today. I am 100% that our God kept my children safe. This world we are living in today is full of scary and sick things. I am overwhelmingly thankful that there is a heaven. ONE DAY. One day, this world will pass and evil will lose. One day, our world will be safe and God will rule. One day, these worries will be erased. Until then, "I am counting on the LORD; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word." Psalm 130:5

Nanny Advice Needed....

I need advice.

I have been working for this family for the last 3 1/2 months. At first, everything seemed great. I relocated from NY to FL just after Christmas and was lucky to have found a position so quickly. They are nice people and the baby is sweet as can be (he will be 9 months old in a few days). Like I said, everything was great. I specifically was looking for a position where no parents worked from home. This is because I've had experiences with this and they aren't for me as the parents hover a lot and make my job uncomfortable. This father is retired (they're older, used a surrogate to get baby boy O). The mother works out of the home, when she actually goes. The father kept busy and out of sight in the beginning. Now he sits on the couch most of the day in the same room I am with baby O. Very uncomfortable for me to have him just a few feet away for 8 hours watching my every move. The mother is a control freak helicopter mom at it's finest. When she's home she sits in all the same rooms as me and just watches. Or is on her laptop on facebook. During the interview I was told she worked outside the home. However, she's home at least twice per week.

At first, baby O was not on a schedule. I put him on one that would fit both mine and the parents needs when they have him on the weekends. He wakes up at 7am. I would put him down for 2 naps once in the morning at 10:30-12:00 and once in the afternoon from 2:45-4:15. This worked out beautifully for 2 1/2 months. Then they decided to change it up so I am not allowed to put him down until 12:00-1:30 and then again at 4 ( I leave at 5 and he is still sleeping, if he even sleeps). He goes 5 hours after he wakes up without a nap and he is miserable from 10:30-12:00 when I can finally put him down. This has gone on for a month now. This is not the right schedule for him. I have brought it up and they said its what works best for them (the parents) because after church on Sunday's they wanna be able to go shopping and stuff (clothes and wants..not necessity shopping. Mom is a shopping addict) and not have to come home first and give him a nap.

Today the dad tells me that after his baptism on Sunday, they might change his naps again to ONE nap per day for only one hour. Mind you..he is only 9 months old! I know how he is now if he doesn't get two naps. I can only imagine how its going to be after one nap and me waking him up an hour into it (I already have to wake him up after an hour and a half so he doesn't sleep too long).

Another thing that was brought up yesterday was his schedule notes. I am required to take note of diaper changes, feeding times and amounts daily. Usually in the morning I find out when his last feeding was, and I develop a schedule based on that and place it all on paper so I can visually see when his next bottles are and where to squeeze in solid foods at times where it won't disturb his appetite for a bottle. I've done this since day one. Mom notices yesterday and tells me to not do that. I tell her it is a way for me to visually keep track of when he needs to eat next. She tells me she wants things written down as they happen. I tell her that the amounts he eats and his diaper changes are written in as they happen, that this is just the schedule times. She tells me it doesn't matter and to stop doing that. I left it at that.

There's just so many other little things about this family that would take me forever to write down. These are just the things over the last couple of weeks that bothered me the most.

The parents are very quirky. Dad is totally checked out. Mom is really weird. She dresses her 9 month old on baggy huge 18 month clothes because she thinks 12 months is too small (12 months was also a little baggy on him).

I need advice. Do I need to run for the hills? I found out recently I am their 4th nanny and O is only 9 months in a week. Red flag right? When they told me of the stories of each nanny they never had anything nice to say about any of them. Summed pretty much all of them up as having mental issues.

I love baby O, but I cannot deal with the parents. While baby O and I are great matches, the parents and I aren't. Is this OK to say and to think?

I've been working as a nanny for the last 7 years. I've had both good and bad experiences with families.

What would you do in my position?

I am prepared to quit on the spot if they announce the schedule change to one nap a day for one hour only. This would only complicate my happiness and job performance. Baby O is not ready for this.

Thank you, and please be nice. This is my first time posting to this blog. This was my last ditch effort for advice

Nannies Love Kids Club Time -

We did not get our St Pat's day gift in time but we will get Easter crafts and stickers out monday! If you have not given us your address - email us by clicking the icon. Pictured - nanny Kristen's littles - Brayden and Eva creating a Valentines sticker scene.

Tuesday

Advice Needed Please.... Surviving Monster Grandma

I could use some advice. I work for a lovely family with three young children (all under the age of four). After more than two years with them, we have a great relationship. I am very bonded with the kids. MB and DB and I get along great. When I'm working, I'm treated like an extremely valued employee with all the accompanying benefits, when I'm off the clock I'm treated like family (and we do spend time together outside of work). We communicate and handle conflict well. I have no complaints... until Grandma comes to visit.

I get along fabulously with the grandma who lives nearby, but several times a year their other grandma comes to visit. They try to make it as easy for the nannies as they can - MB takes off as much time as possible from work while she's here, they limit the visits to one week long, etc - but frankly each time it has gotten more and more insane, and I find myself dreading each visit for weeks before it actually happens.

Grandma is mentally unstable. In fact, she was neglectful/abusive to MB and her siblings as children (eventually their father raised them) and while she's somewhat more stable now, she's still... what's the word... unpredictable? I am always concerned for the kid's emotional well - being when she's around. She is extremely manipulative and falls apart quickly if she doesn't get her way. As the kids get older it becomes harder and harder to keep them unaware of her erratic behavior.

Case in point: during one visit she came downstairs late (around 10 AM) while the kids were playing. She asked the little boy (then two) for a snuggle. He was very engaged in playing with his trucks, but reluctantly left them, gave her a hug, and then wanted to return to playing, as he is an active little guy. She tried holding him for a few minutes while she said things like, "Don't you want to snuggle grandma? Grandma is never here and she wants to spend as much time with you as she can. You don't even know who I am, do you? I'm not a part of your life. If I died tomorrow, you wouldn't care..." before she let him go play. The whole visit was like that. She made the kids extremely uncomfortable and clingy (to me) and I was at my wits end trying to keep everything calm for them. On another day during the visit she worked herself into a hysterical crying fit, and basically sat across from me telling me her life story for hours - how ex husbands abused her, she was scarred by finding her dad dead as as child, etc - I'm talking about 2+ hours of crying. Luckily the kids mostly stayed in the other room playing, but I wasn't able to interact with them like I normally did as I was too busy trying to keep them separated.

In the past, I've made plans and then made sure to leave while grandma is still sleeping, but the past few times she's gotten up early and gone with us. Once she asked if we could stop at Target so she could run in to get a box of tampons on the way to a playdate. The kids and I sat in the car waiting. Forty minutes later she emerged, exclaiming how she never got a chance to do her Christmas shopping, and we had such a better selection in our state.

I could go on and on - basically she is so unhinged that I just can't stay one step ahead of her by anticipating what crazy thing she might do next. Also, she's always prying into MB and DB's life, and it's harder and harder to come up with vague answers.

MB is extremely supportive and sympathetic towards us (She knows exactly how crazy grandma is) so any good coping mechanisms or strategies I could suggest, she would be supportive of. I'm just not sure what to do. Grandma is coming to visit soon and I am dreading it already. :(

Questions for Nannies and Moms

My question is...what is the standard for when a nanny wants to bring her own child to care for while they care for yours? I have had 2 candidates with lots of experience who seemed lovely who want to bring their own child (in both cases the child is a toddler). Neither one of them has offered any kind of discount for bringing her own child which I find a little odd and in fact one asked higher rate than we are offering. I'm not opposed to a nanny who wants to bring her child but I think there has to be something in it for me...like a reduced rate of pay. As wonderful as they might be, their attention will be divided, much like a nanny share would be.

We were looking to pay around $18/hr. for about 35 hours/week. I kind of expected these nannies to knock ~$5/hr off their rate to bring their child (a full time toddler daycare starts at around $1500 per month where we live so if she were paying for care herself that's what she'd pay....so I feel like we both come out ahead). Trying to decide if I should just remove these nannies from the running or offer them a lower rate of pay? What have others done? (note: these are basically strangers to me...I might feel differently with a nanny who had been with our family for a while who then had a baby...)

Thank you in advance,




Sunday

Goodbye gifts, appropriate or not?

I was informed yesterday by MB that I am being let go at the end of this month. It is nothing against me she said, but more of a cost/situation thing. They moved last weekend to a different part of town, and given the cost of childcare tuition for two, soon to be three children and being on a wait list for a center, I can see why they made their decision. I work full time at a center during the week, and my center has a wait list until June/July and not to mention that my state (WI) is one of the highest in terms of childcare tuition. I'm bummed, as it took me awhile to find this family, and I love my babies.

Would giving the family and children a parting gift be appropriate? I have been with them for ten months, and even though I worked every other weekend, it was part of my life. I am going to miss the kids and this family.It's going to be weird not getting up on weekends to go to work-I will have my weekends back, but let's be honest, I got ahead on my bills with the extra money I was making. I understand being a nanny can be risky, as you never know when you can lose a job due to a parent losing their job or like in my situation. This family was very fair with my hourly pay, and very generous as well. I'm hoping to find another family like them who needs weekend care in a similar situation.