Thursday

BE QUIET! (No, not you guys the professional good hearted nannies and parents reading this)

Tues dec 22 - Bad nanny sighting at the connection in New Jersey-- Little blonde girl wearing crocs and had a mini purse, red leggings, and a striped long sleeved shirt. The nanny had short black hair and her favorite words to the child were "stop" and "be quiet". The nanny was sneaky also - for more info - go here--- (permission given)
Verbally Abusive Nanny




Babysitting Horror Story

This is the story of how I learned to meet a family before accepting a job. I am a nanny for an amazing family but I will occasionally look for a babysitting gig for some extra money. About a year ago I found a job on care.com for later that night. I know a lot of people on here will criticize the mother for leaving her kids with someone she just met (lucky for her, it was me and I took great care of them). She was hoping to see a concert with a friend that night and I told her I could watch her two kids (I believe they were 6 and 2 at the time) She said that they would both be sleeping by the time I got there, when I arrived both children were awake. She said she kept them awake so they could meet me (I agree that this was a good decision). She had her son show me around their apartment which was disgusting. It was dirty, and messy, and things just everywhere. I was supposed to go home at 11. She told me that she wasn't feeling that great and would probably be home early, I said okay and told her to have a good time. I put the kids in bed at 9, which is the time she told me to put them down after saying "oh you can stay up a little later tonight, I'm sure Becky won't mind". I really didn't mind, because I go to actually spend time with the kids then instead of sitting on the couch. The daughter (the 2 year old) laid down right away pretty well. The son did not want to go to sleep though. I told him I couldn't let him stay up any longer because I cared about him, and it was late and that I wouldn't be doing a good job taking care of him if I let him stay up until his mom came home. He eventually felt better about going to sleep and fell asleep fast. I decided to sit on the couch and watch tv until their mom came home. It was around 10, only one more hour to go, and I could go home and go to sleep. When it turned 11 and she wasn't home yet, I didn't get upset. It had only just turned 11, she could still be on her way home. It was then11:30 and I decided to send a friendly text asking if she would be home soon, she said she was just leaving and would be home in 5 minutes. I kept dozing off on the couch but waking myself up because I did not feel comfortable sleeping in her home, I was getting upset because she still was not coming through her door. 2 hours later at 1:30 am she called and said she was on her way home and would be there shortly, I said "okay thanks for letting me know." I didn't believe her, I was panicking, I had to go to bed so I could be up at 6 am to go to work. Luckily, this time she really was coming home. She barely apologized to me for being so late, and hugged me goodbye( it was so uncomfortable) and told me to call her when I got home because it was a mild snow storm. She then asked if she could keep my number in her phone for the future, I told her she could. I left, got in my car and counted my money, surprisingly, she paid me accordingly. I drove home which took a good 45 min from their apartment downtown, to my place out in the suburbs. I parked my car and texted her saying I was home. Luckily, I have never heard from her again, and I'm not complaining since I had no plans on ever watching her kids again.


Craigslist's WTF posting

http://seattle.craigslist.org/see/kid/5377953104.html

Looking for Nanny for special situation (Shoreline/Monroe)
(google map)
Hello! I am a single mom of two beautiful little children. They are almost 5 and 2. We live in Shoreline and are looking for someone for our unique situation. Mom lives in Shoreline with the kids and Dad is currently in prison in Monroe. We are looking for someone who is willing to take the children to visit Dad 2-3 days per week. The days would be EVERY Friday and Monday and one weekend day per week (this is somewhat open and may not be every weekend). The hours would be from 12:00pm until roughly 6:30-7pm. You MUST be able to get approved for Dad's visiting list. You would be required to travel from Shoreline to Monroe and back, take the kids to visit Dad, and change the two year old as needed. Dad is VERY VERY hands on and will do most of everything while they are visiting. You will be asked to pitch in here or there, but mainly this position is to transport the kids and be willing to do a puzzle or play a game while they visit. The kids are very adorable, outgoing, sweet, and silly. They love their Daddy very much and want as much time with him as possible.

Also, Mom requires someone with NO criminal background, previous experience with kids, and references. She herself used to be a Nanny, so she knows what to look for. We know this is a unique situation, but with the current status of the marriage and Mom seeking employment, it is VERY much needed. We are willing to pay up to $15.00 per hour. You must have a car, clean driving record, and insurance. Please email Mom and come be part of our fun family!


Another 2015 Bonus

* Bonus this year (2015): None (I just got a raise, because their second child was born in November)
* Your weekly salary: $11/hr
* Any supplementary gifts aside from the Bonus: $50 Visa Gift Card, socks, and my MB's mom gave me a $25 Starbucks gift card.
* Length of time you have worked for the Family: 10 months
* City, State and Country where you live: Central Texas
* Additional comments: This family has given many gifts throughout the year and are super generous. I'm lucky to be their nanny!

Wednesday

2015 Bonus

Bonus this year (2015):$250
* Your weekly salary:$302.86 (after taxes)
* Any supplementary gifts aside from the Bonus: pretty pink winter headband(like the "hat" kind), super cute slippers, two pairs of Christmas socks and a good smelling lotion
* Length of time you have worked for the Family: since August 2014
* City, State and Country where you live: Menomonee Falls, WI USA
* Additional comments:
I love my family and am so grateful that I found them! They treat me very well through out the whole year! They always make me feel appreciated which is awesome :) I love the gifts they gave me, I would have picked them out myself, and they loved everything I gave them!

Let's hear from you....

2016 is almost upon us and we would like to know what you would like to see on ISYN. Post a comment or send us an email, just let us know!

Tuesday

Too Babied/or Spoiled?

Hi everyone. I have a situation and would like input from readers. I realize that a lot of readers are nannies and that some of you have worked in preschool programs prior to being a nanny. It is those of you who have previous preschool experience that I would like to have the advice from, however, all of you are more than welcome to leave a respectable, non judgmental comment. I have noticed that some readers can be very insulting and judgmental with comments based on what they read from OP, and some of the comments have been downright rude and uncalled for.

I work in a 2 year old room at a preschool and I love my co teacher, who is half my age; she is old enough to be my daughter, as are her sisters, both of who work there as well. This is my co-teacher's first job in a preschool, and she has no plans to remain in the field. We've been working together for a year, and she has come a along way, making strides in her "voice" (the teacher's voice), lesson plans, etc. The class we had was very challenging, and I needed a strong co-teacher, as my previous co-teacher was lazy, greener than Kermit, and clearly could not handle the classroom and the challenging behaviors. This young lady came in, and over the year, we have built a routine. Our boss came in and observed on crazy picture day (crazy being an understatement) and complimented us, stating that we work very well together as team. I love my co-teacher, and we tend to be "off" of sorts if one of us is sick or has the day off. Our routine is consistent (we don't always do the picture schedule) and other teachers have commented how calm our class is and how well they listen. Our class has two 3 year olds, seven 2.5 year olds (more like 2.9 years) and three 2 year olds. Quite the age range, and I love them with all my heart.

My issue is with my co teacher and a problem that I am trying to avoid is a child in my class who is obviously a "favorite". Now for those of you who have never worked in a preschool most likely think that having favorites is wrong, however, those of you who have worked in preschools prior to being a nanny understand where I am coming from. It's not hard to have "favorites", or should I say children that you bond with. I have them, and I have had them in other classes.

The child I am speaking of in particular is attached to my co-teacher's hip. We can leave the classroom to make copies, get supplies for art, do laundry if needed as long as we leave the teacher in the classroom in ratio. He is with her all the time, and she has even said she will not move him to another room (sometimes we move kids other room if needed for ratio purposes) because she is, as she said, "too attached to him". I'm not upset about that, because I understand.

He turns 3 in the beginning of April, and what I have seen is making me wonder if there is a problem, or if there will be a problem when he transitions to the three year old room:

A few months ago, I noticed during outside time that he tried to play my co teacher to get what he wanted, a toy that someone else was playing with. He attempted to take the toy from the child, and the child said, no, this is mine. I saw the entire exchange, and he started walking over to my co teacher, telling her that the other child took his toy-I stopped him and told him no, she would not help him get the toy because he tried taking it away from someone else, and that is not ok. I also told him if I saw it happen again where he tried taking a toy, he would be moved down the ladder to orange for not listening to friends' words.

Later that morning during center time, he was in the bathroom with her-he hangs all over her during the day. He came out of the bathroom, and attempted to take a toy from another child, again. I was cleaning the table from art and overheard the exchange between the two children. The other child said no, stop, it's mine. This child got upset and I asked him what was wrong. He said the other child took the toy from him, and I asked him if he was talking about the red bucket they were fighting over. The child said yes, I said I know you are upset, but that child was playing with the toy first while you were in the bathroom and it is their choice. I then announced clean up time, and I observed him walking over to my co teacher for comfort. I told him no, you may not go over to Miss ____, it is time to clean up our toys. You can go here. I gently walked him over to manipulative center, where he sat down and started crying over the toy. I asked him why he was crying, and he said it was because of the toy. I explained to him that the toy incident was over and we needed to clean up before lunch. She would've given him a hug, held and given him the toy, cuddling him because he was sad.

A few weeks later, he wanted a particular chair at the table. He was upset because someone else was sitting in the chair, and started pouting because he couldn't have the chair. I told him he could choose another seat or sit on the carpet, but he couldn't sit in that chair, because someone else was sitting there. He got upset and started crying. He eventually calmed down. I have seen him do this before and she just gives him the chair he wants, even if someone else is sitting there.

There was one day where he wouldn't eat lunch. She even mentioned to me that she was going to give him something else to snack on, because he wasn't eating. I politely explained to her that if she did that, he would expect it all the time, and wouldn't eat. She understood what I was trying to say, and I told her to encourage three bites of everything.

Another time he was having a meltdown I think (I don't remember) and he was crying because he wanted to her to sit next to him for lunch. His cry became louder, and I gave him the option to stop crying because it hurts our ears or to sit on the carpet until he was done. She tells me, "but ____, he is crying because he's sad and wants me to sit by him." That I understand why he was sad and being sad, but if I remember correctly, he was sad because he couldn't get something he wanted, and that caused his tears. I wasn't upset, but the crying was louder and getting louder, and that's why I was going to put him on the carpet until he stopped.

If I take something away from him, or tell him he will lose something for not listening, he will go to her and say "Miss ____, I want a hug." She them picks him up and coddles him. Last week I was setting out plates for breakfast and he was playing with his plate. I explained to him that if he continued to play with his plate, I would take it away. The next thing I know, he is sitting in her lap because he wanted comfort. This was on her day off....

The new thing now is that he cries from the time she leaves for the evening until his parents arrive to pick him up. Last Wednesday she was off, and she came in to drop something off. She stayed for nearly three hours (I didn't mind because I needed the help wrapping parent gifts, as wrapping wouldve taken forever with eleven kids and one teacher) and had a meltdown when she left. Today our center closed early due to weather, and I ended up leaving work at 930a. Two support staff members were in the classroom (my co teacher was off) and I believe that the long weekend, plus the change in teachers caused his rough drop off and meltdown when I left.

The thing I am concerned about is his transition to the three year old room and I am thinking if she doesn't stop babying and coddling him on demand, he will have a hard transition. I am not upset with her, because I've been there before and it's not hard to not like this little guy-he's sweet, smart and hilarious. Mom and Dad are dolls, and I also don't want the problem to get too out of hand where M and D notice a change at home.

I will admit, I baby and coddle him too, but I know where to draw the line. I've mentioned something to my director and my boss's assistant (who is a former director), both of whom told me I should talk to her. As a veteran of this field with nearly twenty years under my belt, I don't want to come across as a "it's my way or the highway" approach, as I have worked with teachers like that and it's not a great way to establish teamwork. I want to teach her to know when to walk away, and that by giving in all the time can and will create an issue. I honestly feel like she gives into him too much, as in she can walk away from him and let him cry it out. Maybe I'm old fashioned? I don't know. I have spoken with her about this, and she has said she doesn't like seeing him cry, so she does what she can to stop it. But giving in doesn't help.

Please feel free to give me your respectful, not harsh, non judgmental opinion. Is there a problem here, or my imagination?

Monday

Kudos and a well needed pat on the back " I SAW YOUR NANNY IS GREAT!"

From: Glenn Greenhouse Ap 23 2015 via Business Insider:

I own Greenhouse Agency Ltd Domestic / Household Staffing firm. I've been in this business 30+ years finding staff for the HNW ( high net worth ) or commonly called the Rich and Famous.

"I saw your nanny" is great. It's sorta like "See Something,Say Something." Additionally,lot's of the posts I find amusing and that's from both sides. I've always thought  " I heard it all" after so many years. Then, I hear a new "wild, crazy, or weird" story.

I applaud L.K. for creating a forum where both nanny and Boss can vent and express. I also believe " I Saw Your Nanny" may someday " keep everyone on their toes"
Thanks
Glenn
Glenn Greenhouse Agency Ltd
www.greenhousestaffing.com

Response from present owner and admins: Thank you Glenn, maybe you can tell us a story or two. Even though all the nannies who contribute here are very good at their job, many of us believe ISYN may someday save a life if not already.


Saturday

What did you get for Christmas?















As soon as you get your Nanny Bonus, make sure you send it for all to read! It is one of ISYN's most popular Features and the Reader's can't wait to see what everyone got for 2015... good or bad! Please follow the format below and e-mail it to: isynblog@gmail.com.

* Bonus this year (2015):
* Your weekly salary:
* Any supplementary gifts aside from the Bonus:
* Length of time you have worked for the Family:
* City, State and Country where you live:
* Additional comments:
  

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

Our nannies got hired Christmas day to play with a TON of kids who were mostly Jewish, but all religions also as they wanted something fun to do on the holiday. Also a few of us got together and played our games and told our stories to some kids at a charity who had nothing, we did it for free for a MB who runs the charity. What was your most fun thing you di for the holidays? AND - we here at ISYN wish all of the readers posters and beyond and your families a very safe holiday season !!!!

Tuesday

Bad Things Do Happen


Even though we had previously agreed to have this week off for Christmas my nanny parents asked me to work today. My boss came home and told me she had a miscarriage ( doctor confirmed). I'm not sure what to do or say. Of course I said I was sorry but what else can I do. This is my first time I've had to go thru this with a family- I wish I could do more

Saturday

The Nanny Time Bomb -



We have be in touch with Jak Burke, author of The Nanny Time Bomb. (For sale at Amazon) ttp://www.amazon.com/The-Nanny-Time-Bomb-Navigating/dp/1440835217. and she has given us permission to post about herself and her book.

A Little back story on Jak Burk, she became a nanny to families in Manhattan in 2004 while processing her immigration visa and later Green Card. She spent 10 years working as a nanny. Her book is based on a comprehensive analysis of the industry of U.S childcare. It is the first of its kind.
She has fabulous ideas and insights! Check out her book!

Here is the table of contents.

Table of Contents
Foreword: Dr Karen Kaufman
Introduction: My Story

Chapter 1, Why a Time Bomb? Risk Factors
The Intrinsic Needs of Infants
An Unlicensed Industry
Conflicted Parents, Frustrated Kids

Chapter 2, Nanny Archetypes: A Lottery of Trust
The Good
The Not-so-Good
The Criminal

Chapter 3, The Work: Intimate yet Invisible
o Hustling
Sabotage
o Surrogates

Chapter 4, Childcare's Caste System: Stratification
Mary Poppins: myth and fact
Mammy: slavery’s legacy
Parallel Lives: hidden workers

Chapter 5, Hostage Takers: When the Time Bomb Goes Off
When Nannies become killers: shock, collective disassociation, aftermath
Nanny Trapped: guilt, coercion, passive aggressive behavior
The 1%: privilege, power, pay

Chapter 6, Avoid a Time Bomb Now: Preventing the Unthinkable
Prevention: profiling good nannies, deter bad nannies
Surveillance: nanny cams, discovery, action
Management; transforming performance, training, revisiting day care

Chapter 7, Childcare Reform: The 3 Keys
Wages & Tax
Immigration
Federal Reform

Thursday

The Importance of Books - by Santa Claus

Last weekend at the home of my charges -Avalon subdivision in Richmond TX. we met Santa Claus and I was very proud of my charge who asked Santa for a special book for Christmas instead of a "hover thingy" lol. Santa said, " I love bringing toys to the children for Christmas, but i love bringing books even more.! Did you know that a book can be like a friend? Books are Santa's friends just like the elves are. I can hold them,smell them,look at them, read them almost anytime anywhere. My book friends contain ideas,facts,fantasy,opinions and history. They are good escapes. But now you can take a whole library with you anywhere! But nothing provides a light inside your heart more brightly than a printed book which only needs a small bit of light to touch and illuminate your heart and soul!

permission for pictures was given from matt at special events and kim castillo, mother of milo - the "world's loved boy"





Stuck In The Basement

The Op of Stuck In The Basement asked for her post to be deleted , she expressed several times her gratitude in all of your time and advice and views - of course I told her we want to hear her update - and we will all look forward to that! - great job posters !

Tuesday

Interview Horror Stories, Let the red flags arise!!

As I reflect on my move back here eight years ago, I reflect on where I was in my career, and where I wanted to be back then, and being new (sort of) in town. At the time of my move, my work history was in terrible shape, largely due to working in low income childcare centers in a larger city-many of the centers I worked in either closed due to low enrollment, or I resigned, due to the center being a bad fit. Of course I had good jobs too, such as working for my best friend's aunt (we've been friends for nearly 13 years) or working retail, which paid decent money with seniority and time and a half on Sundays and holidays. My work history needing a makeover, I made the best of it, by having a decent resume and carefully choosing my words to answer questions for interviews, a dress rehearsal of sorts.


One of my first "interviews" was with a professor at the university and her attorney husband. I found the job listing as a nanny for their then infant daughter and decided to apply. The mother and I emailed back and forth, and she wanted a resume. I explained to her that I just moved back to town, and had no clue where anything was in terms of my hard drive copy. She said she understood and wanted me to send her what I had, so I did. I got a message back that stated " 'I wouldn't hire you if you were the last person on Earth. You are not qualified to watch my daughter, let alone a fly in my house.' " At the time, I had ten years experience in the field of early childhood education, having worked with all ages of children, including infants. No degree, nothing, but CPR certification.


That was pretty rude of her, considering she didn't even know me. I considered the fact that my crappy background and job hopping needed to be fixed, and I figured maybe it was the work history that bothered her. Understandable. To fix things, I applied for babysitting jobs to build my references and resume. One job in particular involved caring for three children under 7 years for a long Saturday wedding (a friend of the parent was getting married). The family wanted to develop a relationship with someone prior to the wedding so as to overwhelm anyone, making the transition easier. I contacted the family, and the mother answered the phone. During the conversation, she laughed at me the entire time, as she even said she thought it was hilarious that I was contacting her with my ten years experience working with children and families. " 'We're not interested because your way overqualified. I mean it's just babysitting' ". She hung up the phone and contacted me two weeks later, apologizing for hanging up and begging me to babysit, as the person she hired was 19, no experience, the kids were up way past their bedtime until 12a, and the house was a mess. I never called her back, because I was put off by her attitude.I was surprised that she had the nerve to laugh at me. Who does that to a prospective candidate?


The last interview I remember was with a nanny who was helping her NF find her replacement-an admirable thing and a sign of respect. I was interested in the position while emailing this nanny, and once I met this nanny in person (she was doing the interviewing) I was surprised by what I saw: an older nanny, mid to late 30's. Had she not said she was a nanny, I wouldn't have guessed she was a nanny. She was not warm and friendly, and as the interview went on, I was losing interest quickly. The reason for that was because of how she talked to me, her tone and the fact that she seemed like a real bitch. Toward the end of the interview, she asked me if she could offer some advice. Sure, I say, all ears. If you want to be a nanny she says, and taken seriously by agencies and families, you are going to want to change everything from your resume to your appearance. She pauses and looks at my feet. And the shoes too she says. Let's start with your resume. She makes corrections on it, and tells me what to wear, how to wear it. Finally she tells me that if I make those changes, I won't necessarily be hired, but I will have a better chance at being hired. After all, she tells me I have been a nanny for over twenty years, flips her hair, and I have been placed with only the best agencies. This caught my attention. Who have you worked with, I ask. She name drops, and I made it a point not to contact that agency, because I felt that if the nanny was that rude to me, I could only imagine what the owner was like.


And there are the families that don't even bother to take the time. I have gotten a few responses from families like this:


Hi-


Thanks for your interest. We've had over 200 applications and don't have time to look through everyone. Best of luck in your search.


Yeah, OK. Sounds like a lazy parent. A few months later they are searching again. And again. And again.


And then the red flags:


A family I found in the local paper was searching for a nanny. I called the phone number with the ad, and asked a few questions about the position, such as the start date, etc. The father said he could not divulge that info because he didn't want too much information out there about his family. First interview question was about if his child was naughty, what would I do. Vague question, vague answer. He tells me he believes I am too strict and rigid, and that something must be wrong if I am not working in childcare. He asks what my current job is, and I tell him I work retail as a cashier. He tells me that he cannot believe I am a cashier and I really enjoy it. He then asks if I am single, have a boyfriend and what I look like-fit, fat, athletic. Begins to sound like something is off, and I could see the red flag flying high. I politely hang up the phone and feel weird about the entire thing, yet I learned how to recognize something I wasn't interested in.



Using an online resource, I was offered a babysitting job later that week. The job was decent money, and the parent wanted a background check. I had already been background checked (I have a copy of a background check in my portfolio and it was done prior to meeting this family), and I also understood her concerns. I get a message from the parent through the website requesting my background check. I clicked the button to send it to them. The day before I was supposed to babysit, I get a text message from the mother about how they were going to hold off on leaving me with their baby because they couldn't verify my social security number. OK, so why doesn't not being able to verify such personal info concern you? If I had something in my background, I wouldn't be working in a childcare center. This was a red flag to me, because anyone can sign up for a membership on a website and be duped. What did they really want my social for anyway?


Now, eight years later, I am working in a preschool, I love my class, my co workers and I found a great family that I nanny for part time. I realize now that those other jobs didn't happen for a reason. The family I work for is great-I love them and the kids are great too. DB fixed a minor issue with my car and even ordered the part for me. They offer me hours if one of them are off work, and I am so happy I found them.


So nannies, what have families said during interviews that made you turn down jobs? How did you know that the family you were interviewing with wasn't right for you? Tell me about some of the outrageous things families have said during interviews.

Monday

Question for nannies and employers

Where have you had most success finding a care giver or family to work with? I would like to interview with wealthy families who have the means to provide a generous salary. I have impressive experience and references to provide. Should I utilize an agency or conduct my own search? The websites I've used in the past seem to be filled with parents seeking to pay very little for a full week of care.

This post may make me sound like a greedy nanny, but I'm burnt out on working for middle class families who really can't afford private care.

Thursday

Holiday or Non Holiday Pay.... That is the question.

Hey there! I have a question for what is the norm for policies with nanny help. My nanny usually works for me on Tues and Thurs. This year Christmas eve and New Years eve fall on a Thurs so I gave her the option of not coming in to work if she had other plans. However since she is not coming in on those days I was not going to pay her for them because they are not technically holidays. I give her the day off on holidays and still pay her for that day normally. As she is part time there are no policies regarding vacation/sick days etc. She brought up to me today that she thinks she should be paid for those days and I told her that they were not actual holidays so normally in a workplace you would still have to work those days. I said that if it were Christmas or New Year day then I def would give a paid day off, but those are not actual holidays so if she decides not to work on them I'm not going to pay her for them. Mt question is am I making the wrong call on this. Do people normally give their help off on the eve of holidays and still pay for that day? I obviously want her to be happy, but I do not want to start a precedent of being taken advantage of and paying for non-holidays. Should I pay her a little more in way of her bonus to keep her happy? I really don't want to lose her help as she has been with us for years and I am happy with her. Please advise

BAD ROOM...




The family who posted the "Bad Room" was a highly illegal posting. I copy and pasted the law and made a "RE:____" posting. I called them out on the wage posted, used a .gov site that had all the laws posted, and summarized it.


After my RE:post many caregivers e-mailed me thanking me for the laws they didn't know about. One told me how she just finished up a court case and won. I then got the e-mail from the OG family, upset, but they still fixed their post.


The new job is barely legal, a few labor laws with the wage are unanswered. The new wage of the job averages to about $10.12/hour and the going rate for a nanny in this area is $13-18/hour for a child.


My RE Posting:
The original poster is looking for a care provider to live in the home, rent free, while proving 25 hours a week of work. At the wage posted of $12/hour the room is said be be $1,200/month. Bellow I will break down how this is unacceptable from a very legal stand point. I do hope this family reads this and re-thinks the job they are posting. If this family is not smart enough to re-think their job posting, I hope the hire a caregiver who knows the law and has the guts to sue them for back wages.

The use of an employee's car is to be paid at 57.5 cents per mile, the original job requires the person to have their own car-- On average a nanny or child care provider will drive about 10 miles round trip with children in the car. The use of the car at minimum is $115/month(on average).

According to this web page: https://www.dir.ca.gov/t8/11040.html ; §11040. Order Regulating Wages, Hours, and Working Conditions in Professional, Technical, Clerical, Mechanical, and Similar Occupations, under line 10::

10. Meals and Lodging.

(A) "Meal" means an adequate, well-balanced serving of a variety of wholesome, nutritious foods.

(B) "Lodging" means living accommodations available to the employee for full-time occupancy which are adequate, decent, and sanitary according to usual and customary standards. Employees shall not be required to share a bed.

(C) Meals or lodging may not be credited against the minimum wage without a voluntary written agreement between the employer and the employee. When credit for meals or lodging is used to meet part of the employer's minimum wage obligation, the amounts so credited may not be more than the following:

Meals: Breakfast ($2.45) + Lunch ($3.35) + Dinner ( $4.50) = Daily $10.30, 7 days a week= $72.10, 28 days (1 month) = $288.40

Room: Occupied alone $31.75/week; aka $127/month.
OR
Apartment: Apartment - two-thirds (2/3) of the ordinary rental value, and in no event more than $381.20/month.

In other words:
A.) Meals+Room= $415.40/month in value. Job should be paying an additional $784.60/month for 25 hours a week, at the base rate of $12/hour
B.) Meals+ Apartment = $669. 60/month in value. Job should be paying an additional $530.40/month for 25 hours a week, at the base rate of $12/hour.
C.) MILES and use of the employee's car NEEDS to be paid according to the IRS's mileage rate currently 57.5 cents per mile driven for the job.

I am a fairly reasonable person who is able to see the middle ground, if this was a private room with a private attached bathroom I could see if falling between the governments listing of Apartment/Room. Being reasonable, for such a private room I'd go as far to say an additional income of just $657.50 would be a fair compromise.

But lets really look at this job's posting. $12/hour for child care, meal prep, and house cleaning? House cleaners make $20-25/hour, and that is all they do. Personal chefs, also make a conservative amount averaging $20-25/hour (I am assuming this family wants the meal prep done for the parents, not just the children-- this is why I bring it up). Both House Cleaners and Personal Chefs however, do not usually work on an hourly rate but a flat rate biased on the job.

Nannies, with experience greater then 2 years with CPR certification and trust-line certified (all nannies should have at minimum both of these), make on average $13-18/hour for ONE child. I have been a nanny here for 10 years, I have been a live-in for 4 of those years, working 25 hours a week for JUST a room is unexceptionable and even for the rates I spelled out legally.

Monday

Contract ending....Need Advice

My contract ends in September of next year but my nanny family is already actively pursuing preschools. Although they haven't said so, I fully expect to be let go before September if the twins get in. The programs are competitive and they will have to take an in when it comes. I completely understand, although the uncertainty makes me nervous. In the past, families have paid me through our contract date, even if I was no longer needed. We haven't discussed this at all, so I'm not sure if this is something they plan to do. I have been working on my resume and gathering my letters of recommendation so I'm as prepared as possible. What more should I be doing? Should I go ahead and start job searching? They are touring another preschool this evening, which has no wait list. This makes me especially nervous that they plan to let me go soon. I have no almost savings and can not be out of a job more than a week or two.

Thursday

Crazy Holiday Days and Games

I always buy Easter Eggs on sale and any holiday can be a filled egg holiday including thanksgiving. I like to have games that teach and the parents do very well - teaching sharing, they all get the same amount even though they run around, and saving - I also save shiny pennies all year and their mom teaches them to save.

Picture permitted and no the young man on the right was not encouraged to eat a plastic egg, he was gently pounced upon and counseled by 3 adults a small second after the pic was taken. lol

Wednesday

Holiday Paydays



We apologize to the OP for not getting this post up last week, but since we have another holiday coming up we thought it was still relevant.


Thanksgiving is next Thursday and I assume I'll have at least Thursday and Friday off (employers haven't told me yet). I am paid bi-weekly and that Friday will be my pay day. The last time a holiday fell on pay day I didn't ask for my check ahead of time and had to wait until I returned to work Monday. How does everyone handle this? My employers pay me for holiday time off so I feel greedy asking for my check on Wednesday, even though I realize that's perfectly acceptable.


I wish I could just count on them paying me Wednesday without me prompting. They are extremely forgetful when it comes to paying me and I always have to ask for my check.

Wednesday

Happy And Great Thanksgiving Day To All Our Readers and Beyond !

We have some very fun ideas about holidays, thanksgiving, entertainment and more! Kinda frustrating when our writers want to BE WITH FAMILY for a few days - just kidding - but yes we have some fun stuff in the next few days - GREAT THOUGHTS, AND SAFETY - to our readers! See you soon !

Tuesday

Professional Nanny?

I've been a nanny for about 5 years on and off. I'm with my first long term family now. I've been with them for about 6 months now. I LOVE IT!!!!!! I thought my ultimate goal was to be a second grade teacher but now I'm considering not going back to school and being a career nanny? Any advice ? Do any of you guys have degrees? Parents would you be more comfortable with a nanny that has a degree? I know this post is all over but thanks for the tips, comments and suggestions :) I'm 23 by the way and married. If that helps your input any.....




JOB CREEP - UGH!!! by Alexis S

I worked with my first nanny family for 4 years. I provided full time care for their two young girls from ages 1 to 5 and 3 to 7. I was paid off the books, in cash (no overtime) during my time working for them.

Over the course of the years we established a mutual trust that eventually lead to the parents deciding that they felt comfortable enough with me, to plan a romantic overnight trip for just the two of them and leave me to care for their girls. "Just a night at a bed and breakfast a couple hours drive away."

This then evolved into them planning weekend trips for just the two of them.
"Just a couple nights at a hotel, a quick flight away."

Then, finally it got to the point where they would leave me to care for the household and their children for an extended period of time. "Just a trip to Aruba, at an all inclusive resort, for 8 days."

In the beginning I would jump at the chance to provide care for the children and household while they went away. As it was a great opportunity to make a nice amount of extra income. But eventually it "took a toll on them financially" and they requested a change in how they paid me.

In regards to pay during the first phase of their travel (1 overnight) I would be paid my hourly rate for the duration of the time. Example:
Work Saturday 8am- until Sunday 8pm
36 hours x 15 an hour
= $540 extra income

This continued into the second phase (weekend away)
Example:
Friday 5pm-Monday 8pm
75 hours x 16 an hour (received a raise)
=$1,200 extra income

Then, when they began to travel for extended periods of time, they requested a change in how they paid me.

They explained that to pay me 24 hours a day was beginning to take a toll on their finances. But that they wanted to take an 8 day vacation over seas.

Before the change in pay I would have made-
Example-
192 hours x 17 an hour (another raise)
= $3,264 extra income.

They proposed that rather than doing the above equation it would be best to only pay me for hours in which I was awake and physically caring for their children.

After the change in pay-
Example-
8am-8pm at hourly rate.
96 hours x 17 an hour
= $1,632 extra income.

For me, it did not seem worth giving a week of my life away from my family and friends for $1,500 (estimating) and I am sure that feeling had a lot to do with, comparing what I was making before. Previously, I would make $1,500 (estimating) for their weekend away and they were now asking me to work more than twice as long for the same amount of pay.

I told them I could understand where they were coming from and agreed to their request in change of pay with the stipulation that, if I was working more than the 12 hours (8am-8pm) or was required to be up with the children In the night, due to illness/nightmares etc. I would be compensated for those additional hours. And they agreed.

I have read the phrase "job creep" on this site many times. But this was job creep to the max....though I know "job creep" refers to additional work without additional pay, and in my situation I was compensated generously. It is similar, in the sense that, it was definitely additional work that slowly crept up, and became something that was expected of me.

I just feel like I almost enabled these parents to live life, as if they didn't have children. And they just kept wanting more and more from me.
It seemed like once their girls were in school full time they were ready to spend their income less on their Children (paying for a nanny) and more on their lavish, child free, vacations.

I have learned from these situations-
Now, in my current position, I do not work overnights, but if I did, I would incorporate an overnight fee into my contract.

Have you ever worked overnights for a family?

How were you paid?

Do you have anything in your contract in regards to this situation?

What is the longest period of time you have ever worked? (Has anyone ever worked more than a week straight?)



More About Former Nanny Chef Amanda

I graduated Culinary school in 2009 and worked at a few different places for a couple years. I ended up hopping around quite a bit, i would get tired of the same routine everyday and every week at each job. I was working at a Mediterranean grocery store that also had a restaurant bar and bakery. I really enjoyed the people but found myself in the same situation as my other jobs, bored. A girl i worked with knew how much i loved kids and told me about an opportunity to teach a cooking class at a Montessori her mom worked at. I went for an interview, got the job and have been here for almost 2 years now. I absolutely love teaching the kids and being a positive, loving presence in their life. they love to cook and are always eager to learn something new. I have noticed that if i don't force them but strongly encourage them instead, after a while they become more interested in trying new foods.




Spinach and Kale Greek Yogurt Dip


1 (17-ounce) container of 2% Greek yogurt (or about 2 cups of your favorite)
3 tablespoons mayonnaise (real mayo)
2 tablespoons honey
1 cup finely chopped kale
1 cup finely chopped spinach
3 thin green onions, finely chopped
1/3 cup finely chopped red pepper
1/4 cup finely chopped carrot (we grated the carrots it was a lot easier for them.)
2 garlic cloves, finely minced or pressed (we used a fine grater)
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon pepper
1/4 teaspoon smoked paprika
if desired, chopped water chestnuts and chopped marinated artichoke hearts

Directions:

Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix well to combine. The key is to chop everything as finely as possible! This dip is extra flavorful after it sits for a few hours (refrigerated of course). Taste and season more if desired. Serve with chips, crackers or vegetables.


This dip is very flavorful and the kids love it.

WTF


Monday

Special Skills?

I would love to know how many nannies out there teach their charges any special skills such as playing a musical instrument, a sport, tutoring, hobbies, etc. Are the parents supportive? Appreciative? Do you have any arrangements regarding a budget for supplies, fees, etc?

I know in the past I've seen comments by nannies who have said they would refuse to give lessons w/out extra pay. Personally, if I'm going to spend 40 hours a week with my charges, I'd just as soon spend part of that time doing something I'm passionate about and sharing that passion! (I also chose to be a nanny because I wanted to be able to have an impact on children's lives, and knowing that my charges will have those skills and passion for the rest of their lives is what makes this job worth it for me.)

I am a swim teacher when I'm not nannying, and I love sharing that with my charges! We spent the summer poolside and now that it's cold out I try to get us to the indoor pool as often as possible. They are total beach bums and LOVE getting to swim. My goal is to have them all swimming independently by age 4. :) Their parents are thrilled (dad was a swimmer when he was younger) and pay the entrance fees to the pool for them and me. This summer I was in charge of getting everyone a swimsuit, sunglasses, etc, and keeping us stocked with swim diapers (I was reimbursed promptly for everything, and asked first if that was a task I'd like to take on). Recently I let them know that they all needed new waterproof shoes, and mb let me know a few days later that they had ordered them. I don't charge anything extra for this (but when I teach lessons, I make more than $5 over my hourly nanny rate).


UPDATE ON BADLY BEHAVED KIDS

ORIGINAL POST...

So I have been working at a babysitter for over 2 years now. My normal family is Monday-Thursday, and I manage these kids mostly good, I and I feel that I provide an overall high level of care. I managed to pick up an extra shift with a second family, and it provides me with money that makes me significantly more comfortable. The only problem is the kids. No, I do not hate them or anything, but they behave so badly and do not listen to me at all. As I said before, I've been doing this for a while and don't consideri myself a bad babysitter, I consider these children really poorly behaved. I try and take away priviledges But i only watch them Fridays and I don't really think I can have a true impact on changing their behavior when I only see them once a week. They really are bad though. Really shocking. I feel very bad because I am not exactly proud of my ability to manage these kids, but really need the money. (obviously I am keeping them safe and all the important things. We're talking about like disrespect, damage to their home, and rough play ) I have spoken to the parents, and they have spoken to the kids, but i really do not expect improvements. I just think this is going to be a bad day I have once a week. I guess my main question is: Do people see me at fault of this situation? If I was a parent and the babysitter told me that their kids were being awful I would not assume they are bad at their jobs. I assume parents know their kids... Anyway where I am with this whole situation is to stay committed to doing ,my best, keeping them safe, and not really stressing about all the bullshit. I just feel guilty having kids I watch that i know are not a good fit, don't like me, whatever.



UPDATE:

So I have an update on the badly behaved kids. I just got let go.

Picked up the girl as usual and took her to the park to play and then we went home where there dad was walking around is underwear. He told me that since I only work Fridays and there are so many holidays that they wouldn't want to be paying me for they would not needing me anymore.

I am so upset because they gave me zero notice and because of how much I put with from their kids, (scratching, name calling, tantrums ect.) and from them (coming home hours late).

I am just so insulted I cannot even right now. Because obviously if you are only going to need someone for a certain amount of time you should let them know!


Sunday

Terms of Service

I Saw Your Nanny is under new management - we have taken many suggestions and views under advisement and we are giving the terms of service of the blog.

1. Topics -- we are going to be welcoming a wide array of topics - bad nanny sightings,good nanny sightings,concerns of parents, nannies in the news, any child who needs help, child activism, concerns and stories of nannies, recipes. If you are a nanny and you want to say something - go for it, If you are a parent - the same - we are here. The sky is the limit - we will rarely if ever turn away a topic.

2. Tone-- Constructive criticisms and rants etc are very awesome. We will be discouraging personal attacks on any posters character, and will delete profanity ;(

3. Moderation - We will be finding our way with this - sometimes we will need to moderate the comments and other times not - but your input is very valuable and with valued - blog-friendly comments - we will post them asap

4. This blog has a rich rich history of advice and topics which are valuable to children - we will be taking advantage of it and posting "blasts from the past" - we hope some of the greats from the past run across the new blog and make an appearance.

1st star to the right and on till morning!



Thursday

Former Nanny Snags Dream Job channeling Rachel Ray

I am a former Nanny who is lucky enough to have it all. Working my life's craft and also best of all including children. Nannying put me through cooking school,and then I knew four star gourmet cuisine was not for me. YAY! I landed a job in an upscale private school teaching children how to cook.

I am lucky enough to teach children ,ages 1–13, how to cook. Although the one-year-old class doesn't cook as much as they make the most adorable mess. My class is all about smelling, tasting, touching and looking at our ingredients and finished dishes. I try to use healthy and simple ingredients from all over the world for the kids to explore and enjoy. The children and I have prepared hummus from Greece, spaghetti sauce from Italy, and also alfajores from Peru. One day I had the kids preparing a delicious broccoli salad, they were not excited. They washed their hands and broke up into groups ready to chop up the broccoli apples and onions stir in the sunflower seeds and cranberries then measure and combine the creamy sauce. Preparing the dishes helps the kids feel more comfortable trying the "strange" and "scary" food. After they tried the broccoli salad they decided it was delicious! Most of them had seconds and thirds. I love it when I'm able to introduce them to new foods and help them feel comfortable trying different things. I never force them to eat it but always encourage them to. I find that a child can do a lot of things in the kitchen with proper care, patience and guidance.

5year olds need to be walked through step by step. We work more on technique with cutting and stirring and measuring. 8 year olds can start learning to follow a recipe and just need a little guidance. My 13 year olds can do it all. We focus more on perfecting their cutting skills and learning what all the fun tools are.

Amanda's Broccoli Salad, Guarenteed to turn a frown upside down.

I know it's broccoli salad but the kids really love it once they try it.

Broccoli Salad
3-4 broccoli crowns washed and chopped small
1 Fuji apple cored and chopped small
1/2 red onion chopped small
1 tablespoon sunflower seeds
2 tablespoons dried cranberries

For the dressing
1/4 cup mayonnaise (not miracle whip)
1/4 cup Greek yogurt
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar


Salt and pepper to taste






What is a fair rate?

Hello!
I recently moved to Melbourne, Australia from the states, and just accepted a nanny share position. I will be mainly full-time nannying 8 month old twins at a rate of $20/hour, but two days a week, their 9 month old cousin will join in. What would be a fair rate for me to charge for the days I have all three infants?

Thanks in advance!



Wednesday

Fairy Dust by Alexis S (permission was given to use her name)

MB and DB had planned a weekend trip away. They were to leave Friday night and return Monday afternoon and I was to care for their two daughters (ages 3 and 5) while they were away.
My regular hours were Monday-Thursday 7am-5pm
For this trip I was to start work at 9:30pm on a Friday night so that they could catch their red eye flight.

The girls were asleep when I arrived to work. And the parents rushed about packing their suitcases and loading them into the town car. They zoomed off to the airport with a wave and a "The petty cash is on the counter in the kitchen." (Usually between $100 to $200 in $20 dollar bills depending on the length of their trip)

I unpacked my overnight bag in the guest room, poked my head into the sleeping 5 yr olds room, and took one last peek at the video monitor that showed their 3 yr old sound asleep in her little bed, before settling in for the night.
I awoke, with a start, at 5:45 am, to the sound of crying.
My eyes darted to the video monitor. But the little girl in the tiny bed lay still and silent on the screen.
I then realized it was their older daughter who was up crying.
I jumped out of bed thinking, perhaps she had awoken to her parent's empty bed and had forgotten that they were away and that I was there.
I rushed down the hallway to the 5 yr olds bedroom.
She sat in her bed, fists clenched tightly, tears streaming down her face.

"I am here "5 yr old" it's okay. Remember, we talked about this on Thursday. Mommy and daddy are going to "vacation place" for a couple days, but they will be back Monday. And I get to stay here with you and take care of you." I said softly, trying to comfort her.

She looked up at me, eyes red and swollen, and said, "She didn't come."

I then realized what had happened-
5 yr old had had her first loose tooth that past week and sometime the day before (my day off) the tooth had fallen out. And MB and DB had failed to tell me.

"Why didn't she come?" 5 yr old asked with a sniffle, opening her clenched fist to reveal her tiny baby tooth in the palm of her hand.

Thinking quickly I replied," Oh! I see the problem. Look at your tooth. It has blood on it. The tooth fairy doesn't want bloody teeth. She wants pearly white, healthy teeth. We need to brush that tooth. And if we make it nice and clean she will probably come back tonight and take it and maybe leave a treat for you under your pillow."

5 yr old wiped her nose on her sleeve, stood up, walked into the bathroom, and began vigorously brushing her baby tooth.

I sat on her bed and stewed...
Why didn't they tell me?!

She returned from the bathroom and held up her tooth in her finger tips.

"Wow! So clean and shiny! The tooth fairy is definitely going to want that tooth!" I said

She smiled, revealing an empty space in her bottom row of teeth.

"Did your tooth fall out at school? Do your friends know?" I asked (thinking in the back of my mind, perhaps MB and DB didn't know.)

"No, it fell out at dinner. And daddy said I was super brave because I didn't even cry."

Of course, the tooth fairy did come the next night, taking the tooth and leaving a bit of fairy dust (a bit of silver glitter) and a dollar coin. Making everything all better.

Upon their return, I informed MB and DB of
the happenings on that first morning. And what had happened following the occurrence. They each responded by saying, they had thought the other parent had told me about the lost tooth.
And that they had left a 10 dollar bill with the petty cash on counter to be used for the occasion.

"Daddy, mommy! The tooth fairy came! But she didn't come the first night because my tooth was all bloody. But then she came the next night and she left me a golden coin and there was fairy dust too!" 5 yr old sung sweetly into the air.

" Fairy dust under the pillow. Hmmm...I wonder if the tooth fairy does that EVERY time a tooth is lost?" DB inquired out loud.

Have your employers ever failed to communicate important information to you making your job all the more challenging?

What is the going rate for the tooth fairy these days?

Different Cultures?

Over the holidays I took a babysitting job with a family who celebrates Hanukkah. Being raised agnostic, I was a little concerned and didn't know what to expect.

They asked me to come to their home in the evening to help with the children while they hosted a dinner. I was a little apprehensive to accept. As I knew very little about the culture. And worried I may say or do something wrong. But I agreed to the gig, as I was planning to use the money to buy plane tickets to fly to visit my own family over the holiday break.

When I arrived I was greeted warmly by the parents and they thanked me again and again for arriving on time. I was to look after 5 school aged children while the adults had a formal dinner in the next room. I asked them what they would like to do and they grabbed me by the hands and led me into the living room. There they pleaded with me to play a game with them called "Dreidel." We giggled for over an hour spinning the top with strange (to me) symbols and divided up the "Gelt" ( which I found out were chocolate coins wrapped in golden foil) amongst ourselves.

The parents brought plates of food in and set them on the coffee table. The children explained to me that one of the food items was called "Latkes" and was made with potatoes and onions. And the other food was a type of jelly filled donut (I can't remember the name) I tried both and found both dishes were delicious.

The children chatted about what they had received as gifts for the last 6 nights of the celebration and what they hoped to get as a gift on the 7th and 8th night.
We were eating our chocolate coins when the adults came in and began telling the children it was time to clean up and go home.

They offered me a plate of food to take home. An offer I couldn't refuse! Paid me the amount we had agreed upon and asked me if I would consider coming to babysit again as they hoped to have a date night soon. To which I replied, "I would love to!"

I must say, I feel rather foolish for ever worrying about taking the job. In reality I was fortunate to be allowed to be apart of their intimate gathering and get a glimpse of a different culture.

What other job do you get the privilege to be welcomed into peoples homes, learn about their family traditions, try different foods and enjoy good company?

Have you ever worked with a family with a different cultural background?

Appropriate or Not.... That is the question.

I recently moved into a less expensive apartment and no longer have a washer/dryer hookup. Would it be appropriate to ask my nanny family if I could do my laundry at their home? The children nap at least once a day, often twice. I have no chores which leaves a lot of down time during nap time. I don't have a lot of time outside of my busy nanny schedule (Mon-Fri 7-6) and it's very expensive to use the laundry mat.


Tuesday

Need Advice Please.

Hello, I am in desperate need of nanny advice and am hoping you or the people who read your site will have some advice for me. So I work for a family I adore they are very sweet and fair. However they are going on a family vacation at the end of the month. (The second one in the last month.) that means a whole week of no pay. It's already awful for me because missing the week this month means I can't pay all my bills. But now I have bronchitis (which I got from the mom) and they are saying they don't want me to come into work. I completely understand, I don't want to get the kids sick. But at the same time I was already losing a week of pay this month and now I'm losing even more money that I don't have. What should I do?




Leaving my position...General Rant

This is a general rant about why I am leaving my nanny position. I welcome any input or requests for more info as I have no friends who work as nannies, so I would love to discuss.

Around the end of last year I made the decision that I wanted to be a full time nanny, ideally for an infant. I am in my early 20s with an AA degree in Early Childhood Education. I spent about two months looking for a position and took a few part time positions until I found my ideal family to work for. Unfortunately, I picked the wrong one.

Two girls, now 6 (D) and 1 (M). The parents both work full time, one in the home and one outside the home. From my perspective, the job seemed great. Pay wasn't wonderful, definitely on the lower end, but since it was my first nanny job I was fine with it. I was really shocked that I was able to land a full time position with an infant as I am young and didn't have ample experience. My responsibilities included basically everything for the baby. Laundry, keeping track of supplies, keeping both girls rooms tidy, and what was specified as making sure there are no dishes in the sink at the end of the day. I was specifically told I was not responsible for the family's dishes or for emptying the dishwasher. They have a housekeeper, but she only comes once a week.

My schedule was originally mon-fri from 8-5. I get paid salary, however I am asked to come early or stay late generally once a week. About a month after beginning the job, the parents approached me about lengthening my hours to 8-6 because "there's no way we can be ready by 5." Because of the way they worded it and my lack of experience, I felt like if I didn't agree my job would be in jeopardy. We came to an agreement of only an extra $50 a week for the extra 5 hours, "with the understanding that I would not always be needed until 6 and Thursday's specifically I would almost always leave at 5."

My first red flag should have been the dishes. This family loves to cook elaborate meals which yields a lot of dishes, which would all be left for me. I once overheard the parents tell a family member not to worry about doing the dishes because I could just do them in the morning. This occurred at least 6 months into the job. I know, I should have stood up for myself sooner. I feel like a lot of my issues with this position can be chalked up to classic rookie nanny mistakes.

It took me about a month to work up the courage to say something. After I came inMonday to an overflowing sink and dishes literally growing mold since they don't even rinse them, I finally did. I was very respectful, explained how I was told I would not be responsible for the family's dishes, but have become the only one who does them. The response I got left me stunned. The mother got very flustered, telling me they NEED me to do the dishes, and "if I'm not okay with that then we need to have a serious conversation." It was at this point I realized this was not the position for me. I am not okay with doing adults dishes and I am especially not okay with the fact that the parents didn't even offer to try and help with the dishes sometimes, they basically just threatened my job.

I also never get to leave early on Thursdays as promised. Almost every week one parent is done with work early on Thursday, but I am still kept until 6. Sometimes I am told at5:50, "hey you can just leave early if you want." I am not even exaggerating about that. I have also been told if I come in an hour early for three days straight, on the last day I can leave early. I did not leave early and the parents claimed they forgot. I was barely even given an apology.

Our parenting philosophies also differ greatly. They believe in pushing their children, even pushing a baby to crawl or walk who is bawling to the point where it can only be traumatizing the baby not to crawl or walk. When I met M at 3 months, she was the baby who never napped. It took me a few months but I got her on a great schedule, that was never followed on the weekends. I was so proud of getting her on a schedule since I had no experience doing so. When I tried to suggest scheduling doctors appointments and activities around her schedule, I was asked, "well, why can't she just be on a schedule where she naps whenever we want?" Again, not making this up. D is constantly throwing tantrums, throwing herself on the ground crying if we don't have the snack she wants or if her meal is cut in a way she doesn't like. The parents will go to the store and buy the snack, or make her a new meal and cut it the way she wants. I am even seeing signs of this affecting the 1 year old, she also throws herself on the floor crying when she gets upset. She has actually been doing this since she was about 8 months, to the point where she's hurt herself. I actually just made the connection that she is clearly mimicking her sister.

The parents are not at all interested in what I have to say about how the kids days went. They will ask, and then pick up their phone as I start responding, or interrupt my response to start discussing something else. We discussed sitting down and doing formal reviews, which I was excited about because I really wanted to hear ways I could be a better nanny, but that never happened.

There are quite a few more issues I haven't even touched on but this is getting long. Maybe I will write another post some time. I know, I should have gotten a contract. Classic rookie nanny mistake. I have actually learned so much from this site. I have already given my notice and my last day will be in less than a month. I've overheard them interviewing new nannies and promising the same things they promised me. I wish I could warn them. They even went as far as to actually let me leave early on Thursday for the first time. I later found out they had an interview and I am pretty sure they let me leave early to show the potential nanny that they do let me leave early on Thursdays. This is sickening to me, they are fully aware that they are promising things they will not do. I feel no regret leaving this job, but I will miss the baby very much.





Monday

Another Blast from the Past - This is type of content we are looking for

BAD NANNY SIGHTING!

Location: St. Catherine's Park in NYC
Date: 6/20 Saturday 10:20 AM on
Description of Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, she had thick, curly brown hair with red highlights, hispanic with a large round face but normal body. Wearing jeans, hi top tennis shoes and a rose tatoo style tanktop.
Description of Child: Chubby Boy, between 2 & 3 years old. Dark hair, blue-blue eyes. Sat in black Bugaboo Bee style stroller with white canopy.
Incident: Beautiful Day. That's why so many people were out at the park. This little guy wanted to get out of his stroller and the whole time he was there, she just sat at a bench and kept him in there while she read from a tela- novella type magazine. The boy had words enough to ask "play now? now play?" and even tried to climb out of the stroller. Every time he did, she pacified him with food. Including, his juice, which when was empty, she refilled from her can of A & W root-beer. The whole time she was just shoving food at him. Bags of colored cereal, little crackers, even what looked like gummy worm type candy, and not a little bit.  This bothered me because of the food, the kid was already chunky, he wasn't allowed physical activity and the nanny didn't even have to look up from her book or scold him. You could tell this was their routine. Very sad!
Send your nanny sighting to isynblog@gmail.com

Blast from the Past - BAD NANNY SIGHTING!

Good Afternoon,

We have decided to bring back an older post, so the new to this blog people can see what type of content we would like to see on here.  

Please submit your BAD or GOOD Nanny sightings!!  

This is what we would like to see:


Where: Nordstrom White Plains, NY
When: 7/8/2015 4:30ish
Description of the Nanny: I saw Your Nanny, or liikely Au Pair, straight reddish blonde hair, pink and white striped blouse, denim capris, white flip flops, no make up, carrying a yellow leather bag with a lion face on it.
Description of the child: "Nathan" White, brown hair, curls, unsure of eyes. Wearing a red t-shirt with yellow writing on it, blue dress shorts and brown sandals. The sandals were brown and green leather.
Incident: The nanny was shopping for bras and really short with the kid who wouldn't stay by her side. She kept yelling "Nathan" and he wouldn't answer because he was being his age and not enjoying her shopping. He hid in a rack of clothes. She huffed over to retrieve each time and each time got progressively rougher. I swear she almost dislocated his arm. She would hold his hand and continue looking at bras and then she would drop his hand as she picked an item and looked at it more closely. As soon as she dropped his hand, he was off. This repeated several times. Then he sat down on her foot and started hitting her on the shins saying he wanted his mommy. "I WANT MY MOMMY I WANT MY MOMMY".  She grabbed him up by the neck of his shirt and told him, "you are rotten, rotten," She threw the things in her hands down and took off to the escalator where she he continued to cry and she just help him with his arm bent back with a pissed off look on her face. As other people passed her by she would say,"you cannot behave like this in a store Nathan, this is not okay, we are going outside". I was going outside to talk to her, planning to approach her and ask if she needed help but we lost them! If you know Nathan's au pair (I can't place her accent but it wasn't run of the mill), let the parents know to observe her when she isn't expecting it and draw their own conclusions.

Not what I signed on for...

My contract, the one WE created together and signed, states I am to be paid on Fridays bi-weekly. For the first few weeks you always had my check laying on the table in the morning where I put my things. I felt like you really valued me and cared that my check was given on time. Then the forgetting started happening. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the first, second, third, .... time because I know you're busy. Now it's been months since I was paid without having to ask first. I wait until Friday afternoon when you arrive home, since our contract says "Friday" and not a time of day. I have to stay 15 minutes later to care for the twins while you figure up what you owe me. You don't pay me for this time. My check is almost always short but I'm ready to go home and don't want a confrontation.

Last Friday you forgot to leave a check, which I've come to expect. I ask you for my money, MB, and you have no idea how to pay me. DB is on a weekend trip with friends and you tell me you can't call him. You write me a check for a portion of my salary, with no apology for the circumstance, and we agree to DB paying me Monday. I show up Monday and see no check on the table. DB has already left so I don't even ask about it. You don't mention it at all or seem to remember you owe me money. It's not okay to forget to pay your nanny.

Upon my hire you were excited I could take the twins on outings. I was excited to work with a family who valued outings and didn't expect me to sit home all day with two toddlers. You never left petty cash but you always reimbursed me for any museum or class fees I fronted and made sure the car always has gas.

You are no longer so careful about your reimbursement. Sometimes I see my money returned, but most of it is forgotten. You leave the car on empty almost always, leaving me to stay home or put gas in it myself. You don't reimbursement me for the gas money I spend or seem to notice/care at all.

You hired a housekeeper and give her a schedule that is really disruptive to the day. The twins can't nap or are woken up too early by the vacuum. When I bring this up, you don't seem to care. The housekeeper has started coming on random days and times, with no notice to either you or me, so I can't even plan nap times around her schedule. I can't say I blame her though, since you never pay her on time either.

Your mother is the biggest disruption of all. She shows up with no notice. Sometimes without notice to us both, but often you just forget to inform me. She stays for 3+ hours each visit, disrupting my routine and questioning what I do. My job description does not include entertaining your family.

You cloth diaper the twins. I love this and have always cloth diapered my charges. When the rashes started I approached you about your washing routine, which is weak and not getting the diapers clean. You brushed me off and took no action, leaving your children with the worst rashes I've seen in my child care career. Their bottoms bleed and they scream in pain when I change them. I offered countless times to take over washing and suggested I could easily do it during nap time. You brushed me off. When you left for your two week vacation I secretly took the diapers and striped them, buying supplies with my own money. The diapers got worse again when you returned, because the wash routine didn't change, but the stripping gave the twins a few days of relief.

I will no longer be using the cloth so please expect to buy more diapers and wipes.

You have four dogs and a cat in a small house. You told me you would put the dogs outside in the morning and it wasn't my job to let them in/out or be responsible for them. This has never been the case. I let them in/out all day. They bark excessively and eat food out of the twins hands. They knock the twins down and bite them. The children and I stay covered in dog hair and the floors are filthy. You forget to feed your cat regularly so she follows me around all day "meowing".

Your children adore you and it hurts to watch you avoid time with them. DB told me upon hire his schedule is flexible. We based my salary off the expectation that I'd work 45-50 hours per week. DB said I could expect to go home early regularly and I'd rarely work 50 hours in a week. You soon found it was much more fun to leave the twin's in my care. Not only am I never able to leave early, but you've begun to show up 10-15 min late everyday. You asked me to arrive 30 min earlier in the mornings so you could leave sooner.

There are many smaller issues I won't even mention here. I'm applying to other position now and no longer desire to work as a nanny. You were the final straw in my career. I love all of the children I've been fortunate to work with but can no longer deal with parents like you.

Update - My Aching Heart

I would like to thank everyone for the advice that was given to me. A few weeks after I left the job I was very sad. I was going to wait sometime before contacting the twins’ mom and see how the kids and family were doing but a friend of mines (who is a nanny, except to a little baby) told me that if I didn’t contact them soon the kids would think I forgot about them and think I never cared about them, and she told me its best to keep them in contact and stay close. I followed the advice and started contacting them. I know it's my own fault for doing so and I should've waited a while before going into contact or just not contacting them at all. I missed the kids and I truly loved them but I honestly never thought I would feel such sadness about leaving them.

I had been a babysitter before and looked after some kids over and over again but stopped a few months before I started being a nanny to the twins which was my first job as a nanny. I was sad that I left the kids I babysat but I moved on not too long after. I’ve never been this upset over them like I am the twins. I don’t like feeling this type of sadness or depression, I was such a happy go lucky girl before this and I feel like a switch flipped on me and I’ve done a 180. I didn’t realize how creepy or obsessive I was being these past few months.

On Saturday night, I had locked up the pictures and gifts I had of the kids and told myself the kids were happy and loved and well cared for by their parents and that they didn’t need me anymore. I woke up Sunday morning with a real sense of happiness that I haven’t felt in months. I didn’t feel much of an ache in my heart. It felt good to be truly happy that day and I am still feeling the happiness now though I do still think of the children from time to time. But, I hope I am finally getting over the sadness I had.

I have taken all of your advice to heart and will definitely follow what I have been told. I’ve been searching for a good therapist who will hopefully be able to help me. Even though I am feeling some happiness now I do know that I still need to get help as I am still dealing with some sadness and my problems aren’t over yet. Also, just because I am feeling happiness now doesn’t mean the sadness won’t come back later on. I am still planning to go to school next semester as I am happy to start my education towards a degree I love and hopefully find a new job. I am also looking forward to finding new hobbies that I can enjoy. I am hoping to reach a happy and healthy state of mind. I will not be sending the kids any Christmas gifts or any other gifts in the future. I will be going no contact as I need to move on as well as stop holding the kids back.

Thank you all for the advice.

I have some questions: When I’m on no contact, what should I do if the mom decides to contact me or if I see them randomly in public how should I act? If you have any more advice for me please share.

Thank you.


Sunday

I think we have figured out some of the issues...

Just for the record, I believe we have figured out the issue with the "all one paragraph" and the white hi-lighted text.

Please bear with us as we continue to work on these issues and improve the blog.

Your comments are appreciated.



A Day In The Life!!

Back by popular demand !!! Requesting submissions for a day in the life !

Wednesday

Recovery Time - PG RATING - discussion on body parts

In the beginning of my career I worked for a very, let's say, pro surgery family. At the start of the position (the first week) I worked side by side with their 1st nanny who wanted to leave the position to go back to school. I was looking at the rows of professional family photos hung along the hallway when I noticed something strange. One of the boys smiling in the family photo of four did not look like the son I had met that week. I asked if the boy in the photo was a cousin. The nanny laughed in response, then explained, the boy in the picture was indeed the eldest son (MB's from a previous marriage) but that she could understand why I didn't recognize him. As, he had had a jaw realignment surgery a few years back. She then added, with a chuckle, "MB had to make sure he could have the opportunity to become a GQ model later in life." During my first month working for the family I remember listening to MB mention to me, in a very nonchalant way, that her 4 yr old son would be a having surgery the next week. To which I replied, I would be happy to help in any way possible. It wasn't until post surgery that I learned what the surgical procedure was for. After reading between the lines I believe what happened was- Her youngest son was born prematurely and had had a circumcision during his first days at the hospital. MB was unhappy with the results of the procedure, as she perceived things to be uneven (though when bathing and dressing him, nothing out of the ordinary stood out to me.)MB had convinced herself her son would be teased later on in life if things were not corrected. I remember him laying in his bed with ice packs on the delicate area, extremely uncomfortable asking when it would stop hurting. His recovery time was supposed to be just a few days, but he was extremely uncomfortable for over a week. A year or so later, I remember arriving to work one morning and beginning to prepare breakfast. The younger son came running into the kitchen at full speed shouting "Do Not touch mommy's boobies! She has stitches!" Taken aback I was able to spit out, " Okay... I won't. I promise." This is how I was informed that MB had had a breast enlargement procedure. She then spent the next three weeks glued to her bed, popping pills, recovering from the surgery due to "excessive swelling and sensitivity." It was when MB mentioned how easy it would be for me to have a rhinoplasty procedure done, that I really began to have second thoughts about this family and whether I wanted to work for them or not. I am sure MB thought the comment directed at me was innocent and harmless and that having the surgeries enacted upon her sons was the right choice. However it is my understanding, that almost all of these surgical procedures (with the exception of, maybe, the jaw realignment) are usually considered cosmetic and unnecessary. I am not against surgeries. In fact, I am all for a person of age (over 18) choosing to alter themselves to better their own lives. But I wonder if those boys will be glad of the choices their mother had made for them. Although she did not persuade me into the nose job, I am still recovering from my time working for this family.

Tuesday

My Aching Heart... how do I find happiness again?

A year ago, I became a nanny for the first time to a girl and a boy, 2 year old twins. I came into the job for the money as I was a just out-of-college girl looking for work, but I got so much more out of the job. The twins and me had the most special bond. They made me feel so loved and happy, my heart grew so much because of them. Not only did I have a great bond with the kids but also their parents. The parents were much older than me and we're such a fun couple who treated me like family and helped me when I needed advice on life outside of work. They were inspirational to me as individuals and a couple. 7 months later, I got hit with the news that I was being let go due to the kids starting school in a few months and the grandparents were going to watch them for the summer. I knew it was coming, I felt it a couple of weeks before that it would but I didn't think it would hurt this bad. My heart developed a painful ache from hearing the news. I didn't cry in front of the kids on my last day, I didn't want to let too much of my emotional out in front of them. The parents told me to stay in touch and I promised I would. A month after leaving them, I made my first contact by email with the mom. She told me the kids missed me but that they were happy and she sent a picture of them. It made me smile that they were happy and full of joy. A month after that, I made contact again and this time I was invited to see the kids. It was the sweetest day for me, getting to hug them and kiss them and just see them. I made my regular contact by email a month after that again and then again the next month which was their 3rd birthdays. I was so excited about them turning a new age, I bought them a big gift for both of them to play with and mailed it to their house as they weren't home that day. The mom messaged me saying thank you for the gift but I haven't heard if the kids loved it or anything. It's been a couple of weeks since then and I haven't made my monthly contact this month. I feel like I am the only one making effort to stay in contact as I've always had to contact them first for them to message me. I feel like I got way too attached to the kids and it's my own fault for doing so, I know. It's been almost 6 months since leaving them. My heart still has the same painful ache it has since the time the parents told me they were letting me go, it has not left one single moment. I cry randomly at times because I miss the kids so much, I look at their pictures sadly, I think of them every single day, I cried while writing a message in their birthday card, and I don't have much joy in myself as I did before. I feel depressed. I have been trying to let them go for a bit. Staying in no contact, going back to school for a degree I actually love and want to do, finding a new job...but not in child care as I don't have the strength to go through a child loving bond again. I have ideas for Christmas gifts for the twins but I'm not sure if I should buy them and send it to them, telling them how much I miss and love them or if I should not buy them the gifts and stay in no contact. My head is spinning with thoughts all the time and I am just so tired and depressed. I just wish to feel happiness and not sadness again. How do I find joy back into my heart? Should I let them go completely or stay in contact? Please help, I'm lost.