Not what I signed on for...

My contract, the one WE created together and signed, states I am to be paid on Fridays bi-weekly. For the first few weeks you always had my check laying on the table in the morning where I put my things. I felt like you really valued me and cared that my check was given on time. Then the forgetting started happening. I gave you the benefit of the doubt the first, second, third, .... time because I know you're busy. Now it's been months since I was paid without having to ask first. I wait until Friday afternoon when you arrive home, since our contract says "Friday" and not a time of day. I have to stay 15 minutes later to care for the twins while you figure up what you owe me. You don't pay me for this time. My check is almost always short but I'm ready to go home and don't want a confrontation.

Last Friday you forgot to leave a check, which I've come to expect. I ask you for my money, MB, and you have no idea how to pay me. DB is on a weekend trip with friends and you tell me you can't call him. You write me a check for a portion of my salary, with no apology for the circumstance, and we agree to DB paying me Monday. I show up Monday and see no check on the table. DB has already left so I don't even ask about it. You don't mention it at all or seem to remember you owe me money. It's not okay to forget to pay your nanny.

Upon my hire you were excited I could take the twins on outings. I was excited to work with a family who valued outings and didn't expect me to sit home all day with two toddlers. You never left petty cash but you always reimbursed me for any museum or class fees I fronted and made sure the car always has gas.

You are no longer so careful about your reimbursement. Sometimes I see my money returned, but most of it is forgotten. You leave the car on empty almost always, leaving me to stay home or put gas in it myself. You don't reimbursement me for the gas money I spend or seem to notice/care at all.

You hired a housekeeper and give her a schedule that is really disruptive to the day. The twins can't nap or are woken up too early by the vacuum. When I bring this up, you don't seem to care. The housekeeper has started coming on random days and times, with no notice to either you or me, so I can't even plan nap times around her schedule. I can't say I blame her though, since you never pay her on time either.

Your mother is the biggest disruption of all. She shows up with no notice. Sometimes without notice to us both, but often you just forget to inform me. She stays for 3+ hours each visit, disrupting my routine and questioning what I do. My job description does not include entertaining your family.

You cloth diaper the twins. I love this and have always cloth diapered my charges. When the rashes started I approached you about your washing routine, which is weak and not getting the diapers clean. You brushed me off and took no action, leaving your children with the worst rashes I've seen in my child care career. Their bottoms bleed and they scream in pain when I change them. I offered countless times to take over washing and suggested I could easily do it during nap time. You brushed me off. When you left for your two week vacation I secretly took the diapers and striped them, buying supplies with my own money. The diapers got worse again when you returned, because the wash routine didn't change, but the stripping gave the twins a few days of relief.

I will no longer be using the cloth so please expect to buy more diapers and wipes.

You have four dogs and a cat in a small house. You told me you would put the dogs outside in the morning and it wasn't my job to let them in/out or be responsible for them. This has never been the case. I let them in/out all day. They bark excessively and eat food out of the twins hands. They knock the twins down and bite them. The children and I stay covered in dog hair and the floors are filthy. You forget to feed your cat regularly so she follows me around all day "meowing".

Your children adore you and it hurts to watch you avoid time with them. DB told me upon hire his schedule is flexible. We based my salary off the expectation that I'd work 45-50 hours per week. DB said I could expect to go home early regularly and I'd rarely work 50 hours in a week. You soon found it was much more fun to leave the twin's in my care. Not only am I never able to leave early, but you've begun to show up 10-15 min late everyday. You asked me to arrive 30 min earlier in the mornings so you could leave sooner.

There are many smaller issues I won't even mention here. I'm applying to other position now and no longer desire to work as a nanny. You were the final straw in my career. I love all of the children I've been fortunate to work with but can no longer deal with parents like you.


Kara Ivy said...

If you're quitting why did you say you'll no longer use cloth diapers? What did your bosses say after receiving this resignation letter? I would have quit too!!

OP said...

This isn't my real resignation letter. I wish. Just a venting one I put together while trying to decide if I want to write a real one or how I'd like to leave. The part about not using cloth diapers came up because I'm done using them, but still plan to give the family 2 weeks - month notice.

sara said...

I don't understand why you didn't speak up for yourself and just let things build up and fester. It's no wonder so many nannies burnout when they get walked all over and don't open their mouths. You are your only advocate.
Best of luck in your future endeavors. Sorry you had a crappy end to what could be a wonderful career.

sara said...

I don't understand why you didn't speak up for yourself and just let things build up and fester. It's no wonder so many nannies burnout when they get walked all over and don't open their mouths. You are your only advocate.
Best of luck in your future endeavors. Sorry you had a crappy end to what could be a wonderful career.

Lacy said...

Nannies always speak up for yourself. Always. There is no HR department. There is no Corporate office. There is no Union. We are alone and to ourselves. We are lucky when we can get advice from other nannies.

Always speak up for yourself no matter what field of work you do. Always. Parents, if you have an issue with us, tell us. Don't let it fester. Many nannies want to please, do a good job, and earn a stellar review. We can't fix an issue you see if you don't tell us-- We can't read minds and we don't want to.

Nannies, the above is true for us to the parents. Its fine to let yourself cool off a day after something big-- you know to help keep your professionalism. Take a note, write down whats bugging you. Practice saying it to a friend or the mirror. Stick to it. If they owe you for 15 min or even 4 hours, you earned that money, you need to be paid, get your money Gurl! Speak up, parents can't read your mind, you'd be out of a job the second that happens. Tell them--'hey you have been having me come earn and stay late but my salary is for 45-50 hours, really I have been working 54 hours can we fix this?'

Everyone should always speak up. Its like this-- We tell children to speak up to someone, anyone they can trust if they are being abused or hurt. If a child is to afraid to speak up its going to continue. Its sad but many school shootings happened because that kid was bullied and wasn't able to speak up or have it fixed; before it was to late.

Speak up people!

Anonymous said...

that sounds terrible! I've noticed my family loosen up as well but luckily not to this extent. Kinda makes me think though... It's hard to watch parents avoid their children. I can relate to you on that part. I have a charge with a chaotic life outside of my care (avoiding parents with busy schedules work/social) and I see how they beg for parent attention. It motivates me to work harder when I am with him but at the same time makes me resentful of his parents.

Blogger said...

I've just installed iStripper, and now I can watch the best virtual strippers on my taskbar.