Has anyone heard of "kuku"? I am not certain of the spelling and looked for it online and found nothing. My nanny has her strengths but communication is not one of them, she seems annoyed when I ask her about the day's events, and was even more closed off when I asked her about this situation. A stay at home mother with whom I am intimately acquainted observed my nanny being handed cash by multiple nannies at the playground. And on more than on occasion. The stay at home mother thought it was suspicious and alerted me. I asked the nanny in the politest way and she explained it as a cultural thing that "you would not know about." She called it a "kuku" and seemed pestered that I inquired. My nanny claims that she is the director of a lotto pot and all of her nanny friends make deposits into it every week. Right now, each nanny is depositing $50. I have no idea how many nannies are participating. Apparently every week she draws one name and that nanny gets all of the money? Does that make sense? Has anyone heard of this? I really don't like the thought of my nanny taking cash in from other nannies and holding it. I wish I would have known about this before I hired her four months ago. She is a live-in so I feel even more connected to the activities she engages in. Am I being neurotic?
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I don't think you are being neurotic. I have heard of this game, and it is a cultural thing. However, it is a form of gambling. Gambling and babies should not mix because one day, some disgruntled gambler may do more than just ask for his/her cash back. This is putting yout baby at risk.
Hmm, well, I know teachers at one of the local schools do something like this. At the beginning of the year, the teachers decide how much they will contribute each month. Then, one teachers is chosen to look after the money. She opens a bank account (usually a medium to high risk investment account) for this and all the money goes into this. At the end of the year, the teacher in charge, draws out the money + the interest and each teacher gets back her investment plus any interest accrued. The idea being, you earn a lot more interest with a bigger amount and because you are all investing together its a lot easier to keep it up for the year and its fun to get your 'payout' at the end of the year and discuss what you're going to be spending it on.
What your nanny could be doing is similar maybe?
I saw this on Judge Judy or one of those court shows not too long ago. It is something in the black culture (I just learned yesterday that it is now not PC to say African American, black is now PC according to yesterday's post).
Anyway, it is gambling, and she is definitely keeping a cut of the money - why else would she be in charge of holding it. I don't see anything wrong with it, no different then a football pool in many ways, however, I do think it is inappropriate that she is participating - and other nannies are participating - while working.
What a nanny does in her spare time is her business, what she does while working for you is your business. Suppose someone sees her collecting the money at the park, then follows her when she leaves and jumps her. Your children are then at risk. You need to make it clear that this is not acceptable to do with the children and if it continues you will be seeking other help.
The teacher plan sounds okay. Although I wouldn't mix my money with anyone's. I think Caribeean nannies have something called a sousou. Same principle. But they collect cash and keep it in a coffee can or something and draw a name. It's more like LOTTO. Sketchy.
I would not want nanny receiving cash in public. If your friend saw her, what about some crackhead punk? And she has your child with her? No way.
Fire her.
She can't communicate and she's gambling on the job. Off she goes!
I think 1:22 is right. Even if the other gambler nannies turn out to he harmless, you never know who else is watching. I have heard of nannies who got jumped for their cell phones while walking with their charges.
I would fire her for the non communication more than for the gambling.
I don't know how relevant this is to the post but I think that a great percentage of people who do kuku pots also practice voodooism. I had to fire one nanny for threatening dc's playfate with voodoo.
playdate
Cultural or not, she is doing this on your time and like the above-poster said, what if someone sees she has the money and then jumps her while she has your kid. Sounds like you aren't too impressed with her anyway, so maybe time to let her go and get someone new.
I agree with 1:45. While the gambling is bad, the lack of communication worries me more. A nanny should always be candid about the day's activities.
dudes, KUKU?
Let's focus on this kuku thing.
What in the hell?
It's a pyramid money maker...everyone puts in money every week/month...then you move up on the time line then one week it's your turn then you get the money everyone puts in weekly or monthly.
@ 1:48: this has nothing to do with voodoo (where do you ppl get your info?) many ppl do this that are Christian, catholic, baptist, jehovah's witness...whatever. Nothing to do specifically with voodoo at all.
A sousou is a savings plan, like a christmas club. One trusted person holds the money, or actually collects the money and gives it out. The participants contribute every week, and every week a different person gets all the money, till they go down the whole list, then start again. Everyone knows where they stand on the list and when it is their turn. If everyone does, say, $10 a week, with ten people, then every week someone on the list gets $100. As far as I know, the money holder gets no reward and it's definitely not gambling, but a way to pool money in a community. And it's not a pyramid scheme either. You only get back what you have put in. The group does have to trust each other that the last on the list will get paid out as the first did. I don't know how they work out what happens if one person leaves.
That's how it was done in the NYC hotel I worked in, and it was a cultural mix of black, carribean and hispanic room attendants participating.
If one has a bank account, then this seems unnecessary, but a lot of employees didn't and would cash their checks. Giving a small part of their pay into a sousou is one way of making sure it doesn't all go to pay bills, etc. Every couple of months, you end up with a chunk of change to spend.
That's pretty interesting, best posting I've seen on this blog lately. I don't know what I'd do. Its probably okay. I see nannies do this a lot when they buy lunch collectively - more money they can get more food.
This is no good.
The gambling is a serious problem. I don't know the laws in your area, but this sort of lottery may very well be illegal. Even if it's not legal, it's not a great roll model for your child. And, as others have said, it definitely could be putting your child(ren) at risk, since any passerby could see her accepting the money and decide to attack her and your child.
Beyond that, her attitude and communication skills are very troubling. Communication is one of the most important qualities in a nanny. She NEEDS to be able to tell you about the day's activities, and she should do so in a cheerful manner. When my employers return at the end of the day, I not only have a log of daily events for them, I can't wait to tell them about the baby's new skills or the fun things we did during the day. The fact that she finds communication annoying doesn't sit right with me at all.
I dont know about culture, but we use to do this at my job. everyone put in their names, someone picked the names and they got written down. every week we put in 20 so it was a $300 pot. every week someone came home w/. a extra 300. bad thing is someone gets their money and decides not to play till the end or if they get fired. and usually around christmas we do this in my building where I live to..
sou-sou
A savings arrangement where a group of people each pool an equal amount of money for a period time (month, two weeks, etc) and after that time is up, one person in the group gets all that money. They keep doing this till everyone gets their turn and receives that full lump sum at least once.
It's not a pyramid scheme, no one loses as long as everyone's trustworthy and puts in their share. It's just a way to hang on to money by putting tying it up into something else temporary. This is popular with 1st-gen Carribbeans, South Americans, Africans, and maybe someother people. Just a way to save money up if you can't get a small savings account, aren't in a credit union, or don't want Tha Man all up in your business
Its sort of a pyramid thing - my nanny said many of them do this with a group of friends. They all put $50 or $100 in the "pot" each week and each week they take turns - one of them gets to keep the whole pot. It becomes a problem if one or a few stop paying. This isn't terrible though, if its amongst a small group of friends - its more like a savings plan. It can be bad if its run by one person who keeps finding new people to put $$ in..and is keeping part of it - more of a ponzi scheme.
Maybe she was calling you cuckoo?
Wow......I can't believe you'd hire a nanny that gets annoyed at your asking about the days events!......I'd fire her rear end in a heartbeat! If I ever acted annoyed at any of my daycare parents...(I am a licensed child care provider)...they'd find child care some where else IN A HEART BEAT!
Not only could a passer-by see the nanny collecting the money and then jump her, what about a police officer who happens to see this, suspect there is a drug transaction and arrests your nanny. Your children are then also taken. Granted, you could get them back, fairly easily I imagine, but is it worth the trama they would experience?
Also, if you are having a hard time communicating, that would be grounds for firing. I certainly wouldn't want someone spending the day with my child who is not able and/or willing to tell me what exactly they did together.
Seems pretty ghetto to me. I wouldn't want dc around such lowbrow activities.
Creepy. I had a nanny from the Caribbean once. The US nannies can be sometimes a bit much to take because they are often educated and can sometimes relate a little too much to your life, but I just would never hire someone from another culture. It's too much to deal with. Individual people have too many weird quirks and habbits without trying to acclimate someone from another country living in your home and more importantly raising your children. When my children graduate college and look back on their childhood, I am confident that they are going to smile and realize that I only allowed the best care in my asbence and it was someone warm who they could relate to on every level.
Children get enough diversity at school.
Boy, these posts are just as entertaining as the original complaint! Wow!
No way! She's got to go! If she is doing such activities in front of/near a friend of yours, then who knows what she does when she isn't being watched! And why would she get so offended? If it really is a cultural thing, then the proper thing to do would be to explain it to you ahead of time and ask your permission if it is ok to do this activity while on the clock. She is one of your child(ren)'s role-models!
I bet they would get a better return on their money if they invested the pooled money in to the purchase of rock cocaine or even setting up a meth lab in one of their unsuspecting employer's basements.
They just hold on to it? And don't invest it? They keep it in a drawer or coffee can?
Not buying it.
I'm guessing drug sniffing dogs would go crazy around this park bench.
Ohmy are you a piece of work! 6:16 you ignorant woman I'm speaking to YOU! "US nannies can sometimes be a bit much because they are often educated and can sometimes relate a little too much to your life"...did you really say that? Bitch..please.
I think everyone needs to mind their own business. Many people pool their money together in offices, school teachers etc..so why can't nannies do it to?!
you bunch of prejudice bitches. Keep your nose out of other peoples fucking business and watach your own nastry ass kids
Nannies can do whatever they want. Personally, I would rather hire a nanny with a few close friends. I don't want the type that has a pool of nanny friends. That only invites trouble. Salary and vacation comparison, etc. So this wouldn't work for me because nanny is clearly a member of some low end nanny pack. No offense.
7:52, are you the poster who writes "mind your own business" on every story? i'm sure this is prompted by a story being written about you, which one is it?
752-sad to say/i get her point.
familiarity breeds contempt.
8:22
yeah...NO
I think it probably has something to do with drugs. If these nannies are going to take the time to compound their piles of unearned cash, cash earned from neglecting children while working illegally and as illegals in our country, what prevents them from committing lawless acts like circulating narcotics in our neighborhood? I always wondered who brought the drugs in to Mamaroneck. Now, I get it.
6:16 PM Educated nannies make you uncomfortable, and you don't like diversity. You sound like a candidate for the employer character in Nanny Diaries 2.
I think she said her children are exposed to enough diversity at school. Most of the bests private schools in our area have unfortunately generous allocations for scholarships.
many of the posters are a little hysterical. it's called a sousou, and it's a way to save money. it's definitely a cultural thing. it's not gambling. the person holding the $ makes no profit. everyone gets out what they put in. in fact, in nyc banks are required to take participation in a sou sou as an indication of creditworthiness when making determinations on certain kinds of loans (as per my bank examiner dad).
I can guarantee you there are no banks involved in this nanny drug circulating/gambling scene. Illegals. Illegal activity.
I don't think there's anything wrong with participating in a sou sou on her own time (it's a savings strategies in many poorer communities) BUT I question in her judgment in taking money so publicly (as others have said, many others could have seen her do it and preyed on her AND your child) and her unwillingness to share details of the day with you. Can her (and I don't fire nannies very easily).
No you are not being neurotic. But it is exactly this self-doubt that is keeping you from making solid decisions and firing an obviously bad nanny. Get it together and fire her before she gets your children in possibly dangerous situations, if she hasn't done so already. Trust your instincts.
I am 99.9% correct when I say it is called a "Su-su" It is basically for co-workers who agree on pitching in a certain amount of money every pay schedule to help one person out financially for that period. One person chosen becomes the "Treasurer" and then the cycle begins again. As a former nanny- now Preschool teacher, i have been approached by many co-workers to do this and I simply could not afford to even participate. All I can say is no, you're not being neurotic, you are being informed of your nanny's activities. I used to call my former employer almost every two hours to let her know what we did,( she never asked me to do that) i even would put him on the phone with her so she could not feel like she was bad for having to work, and he turns 10 this year and im still in contact with them...... If you are still uncomfortable, you can always ask your nanny to stop, or have a talk with her about her communication skills. I hope this helps and best of luck to you......P.S. I'd also fire your nanny if she cannot simply tell you what she did with your child all day......
get rid of her!
I live in Park Slope and just want to say one thing about Caribbean nannies. I know how this is going to sound but I am not racist at all.
I have a couple of friends that watch kids in this neighborhood and they constantly tell me how bad the Caribbean nannies are with the kids. How they just basically ignore them and let them do whatever they want while they socialize or eat or, apparently collect money for "cultural" lotteries.
I never really put much stock in that thinking it couldn't be true but then I had a bad experience where I had to be hospitalized with surgery for a few days.
The only one of my nurses that wasn't Caribbean was the overnight one (she was black) and she was the only one who even made an attempt to be nice to me or make me feel like she gave a crap about how I was feeling.
The rest of the nurses were rude and not attentive to any of my needs. I would lie in my own sweat for hours (i had a bad fever after the surgery) before finally having to ask someone to change my sheets.
Anytime they would come in the room they would never talk to me, they would instead be yelling out to another nurse holding a conversation and completely ignoring me.
Having surgery is never fun but that experience made it all the worse. I can't tell you how terrible it feels to be treated like that.
Now I'm sure not every single Caribbean nannies and nurses are bad at what they do but I do have to say that my experience with them has not been good at all.
Oh, and as to your point submitter. Definitely fire her. There are a ton of nannies in Park Slope who are attentive and playful with your child and interested in helping them learn and grow. Your nanny seems to be more worried about running her lottery than watching your kid.
I have worked with many people of many different cultures and this is very common. Dominican women I worked with did something similar.
I think that it is your right to fire her for "gambling" or doing anything you don't approve of with money on your time. However, in your situation, if the nanny were a good nanny I wouldn't fire her based on this. If it is a real issue, fine then fire her and move on. But if it is just another thing to pick on and the next nanny will get the axe because of another reason, then you need to evaluate your own role as an employer and realize that if other people are taking care of your kids, you need to accept differences.
That's what I think! But good luck in firing this one. Have fun.
A post just isn't a post without perspective from JMT.
I don't think it has anything to do with drugs.
The goal of hoodoo (voodoo to you) is to allow people access to supernatural forces to improve their daily lives by gaining power in many areas of life, with a supreme focus on gambling, love, divination, cursing one's enemies, treatment of disease, employment, and necromancy.
Hey 11:25PM, Maybe we were in the same hospital. I had abdominal surgery a few months ago, and had the nurse experience of my life. You are right, not all Caribbean nurses are bad. In fact, my favorite nurse was Caribbean. She was so nice she treated me like family. The funny thing is - the worst nurse ever was also Caribbean. When she came to change my sheets, I said hello to her, and she frowned at me. She decided to frown whenever I smiled at her. Finally, my roomate decided to ask the frowning nurse a quick question, and the nurse yelled "Uh uh", as if to say she was not available for questions, and then she gave my roomate 'the hand'. By the way, I am not racist, I am the same color as the mean nurse was.
8:59 you are a racist pig
I am a nanny and I love to bring drugs to work. My boss hits it up with me too and then we go down on each other and then the kids too. You are one stupid bunch of motherfu*****s and ignoramus bitches
11:25
you probbly got what you deserved in the hospital. probably was horrible to an nanny so what goes around comes around and wtf does your stupid ass post has to do with the su su idiot. nurses shouldnt have looked at you at all
11:25, how do you know the OP is from Park Slope?
For real, ladies.Comments like this:
"Not only could a passer-by see the nanny collecting the money and then jump her, what about a police officer who happens to see this, suspect there is a drug transaction and arrests your nanny. Your children are then also taken. Granted, you could get them back, fairly easily I imagine, but is it worth the trama they would experience?"
You should be ashamed of yourselves. These nannies probably can't get bank accounts and so they are trying to save their money as responsibly as they can. It's all of you who have made this criminal, drug related activity by subjecting it to your overdetermined racist fantasies.You wouldn't want your children "exposed" to what? Friendship? Think of the values that you expose them to. When critically examined, they're no better than "Sou Sou." Come on. Every time a black woman has more than $100 in her hand, it's gotta be a crime??? You should not be allowed to raise children.
Thanks, 2:14. I didn't have the energy to wrap my mind around all the fearful, narrow, ignorant responses. You said it well.
Well I don't think it is intentionally narrow. I suppose it represents a different class of people. You must admit that having nanny act as banker and collecting cash on a playground does appear a bit odd. Am guessing OP will have to hear more speculation in the future by other moms and nannies as they report exchange of cash on the playground. And don't get defensive, unless their is an ice cream truck in the vicinity, no one exchanges money on the playground. Usually. Now I know.
Don't be silly ,
this is like a good luck pot , the poster jmt got it right ...
I think it is horrible for you to hire someone of another culture that you are supicious of and make no effort to learn about thier culture , and then think the worst of them ...
My gosh , these people make no money , how much do you pay your nanny ? the last time i looked a good white nanny ( which it sounds like you would be more comfortable having ) goes for about 1500 a week in nyc.
You are doing an injustice to these women , who are taking these jobs , because it is all they can do in the states , and then treating them like slaves ....
You have got to put yourself in the other persons shoes.
You should really be ashamed of yourselves... vooodooo and hooodoo , nonsense!!!
park slope parents are bitches
No one exchanges money on the playground, unless they are working 80/hour weeks taking care of someone's child and it's the only time they get to see their friends. No-one who?
I'm 2:14 and I'm not defensive. I'm actually an upper class white woman who is ashamed that my presumably privileged, educated "peers" think this way. What this is is a lack of understanding of another culture, but none of the posters here seem to want to admit that. They'd rather always know best and make the nanny a criminal. I mean, sanctimonious much?
I get a kick out of all the moralizing going on about gambling, etc. Is it that different from a sport pool at work?
Agreed. This board is full of racist slobs who are consumed by guilt as a result of their decision to let another woman raise their kids.
May I restate that a sou-sou is not frivolous, or gambling, or a lottery? The ones I was familiar with were deadly serious, no one had money to gamble, and everyone got their turn at taking the money, it was very organised. Some here have said that it is a lucky pot or random picking of a lucky person weekly, but that is not the intention. The participants knew when to expect their turn and would arrange plans around that.
And the poster who said there was certainly no bank involved is right, but that's not was the previous poster was saying. She means that if someone wants to get a loan from a bank and has no previous credit or bank account, a sou-sou is considered a legitimate form of savings and shows a commitment to a savings/payment plan, and can help their credibility.
Please remember that every country has its own customs of which Americans are unaware. Just because we learn something new doesn't mean it's evil or drug-trafficking. What a nanny does with the money she earns is her own business, and she shouldn't have to answer to her employer about it. Respect her privacy, don't treat her as a child.
That said, the nannies really should find a sheltered, indoor place to collect money for her safety and the kids'.
Calm down everyone. I think the voodoo talk is coming from the Tammmie Williams case which was in the news this week. Google Tammie Williams or Demon Babysitter or Brooklyn voodoo babysitter if you want to know what I am talking about.
As for people exchanging cash in parks, I don't care what color, race, sex or age they are- my mind would instantly go to drug deals. Maybe it's because I watch too much Law & Order and The Wire. It's not because I'm racist, anti nanny or classist.
I am so over PC rhetoric.
12:54 Fair enough that voodoo is "in the news," and people are, and always have, been irrationally afraid for their kids. Like it or not, it's a part of parenting.
But it seems to me that you're the one steeped in pc rhetoric. I honestly do not think that if you saw a mommy take $100 out of her, say, Prada purse and hand it to her (white) friend you'd think it was a drug deal. I'm sorry, but I just don't buy that. You'd probably think it was exactly what it was -- money for a big group shower gift or something like that.
And may I remind all of you that the playground is, for many nannies (especially live-ins) their social life, their family life, their community life. They have no space of their own beyond work (your house) and home (also your house). If OP's nanny were inviting all her friends over to do Sou Sou in the ONLY private space she has, you'd all be complaining that you don't want this in your homes. I agree that OP had a right to ask the nanny what's up, and then to research the answer. It's the mommies who weren't willing to let it stop there who scare me. All of this "what if someone wants their money back and comes into your home to violently harass nanny for it?" People have been known to freak out on their investment bankers when they lose a lot of money, too. Why is nobody on here complaining that their husband should be a dog-walker instead for the sake of their children's safety?
Just food for thought.
2:14PM, The sousou addicted nannies, no matter what race they are need to keep their sousou away from their charges. They can do it when they get home, or over the weekend. Are you saying that the parents of these children, who also happen to be paying their nannies $650/week have no right to complain about money changing hands at the playground? I am a nanny, and I think any nanny found putting kids in danger by engaging in any thief-attracting activity should be fired immediately, regardless of race.
I love how people run away with whatever assumptions sound the worst.
It's called a sousou, not a kuku, and it's a sort of "savings" program. Instead of putting your money in the bank where you can dip into it, you contribute a certain amount (say $50) to a "pot" that one person is in charge of holding.
There's a list of people who contribute each week, in the order that they will receive the pot each week. So if you have 10 people participating in a sousou, the first week the first person on the list will get the $500 pot, the second week the second person on the list will get the pot, and so on.
It is not gambling, it is not voudou, it's not a pyramid scheme, it has nothing to do with drugs, and it is not sketchy. It's just something different from what people who are not from Black or Hispanic cultures are familiar with. Honestly, stop looking for BAD in everything single thing. Your life will be better for it.
If you want to blame the nanny for being inattentive, that's another story. But stop assuming that something you don't understand is illegal activity.
Banks make it very difficult for low income people to open savings accounts with minimum balances etc.
These communal savings systems exist in various forms in many cultures.
Why don't you discuss your safety concerns with your nanny. Suggest an alternative to collecting the money in the park. Maybe a weekly playgroup taking turns at each nanny's work house.
A Nanny
Idiots. always condemning what you dont know. always the white bitches and the ignorant wanna be white black cunts
I am a professional black woman, and I have a nanny. She is allowed to engage in sousou, but only do so during her free time and when she is not with my children. As much as sousou is perfectly acceptable in my culture, there is a time and place for it. This is one of the safety rules we have in our household, and it is part of her job description to obey our rules and keep our concerns in mind. She makes $500 a week, and has a bank account.
I just want to reitterate that I think the real problem here is not the sou-sou, but the lack of communication. I don't think it's fair to call the mother racist or xenophobic or uncaring. This is from the original post: I asked the nanny in the politest way and she explained it as a cultural thing that "you would not know about."
Knowing what she knows now -- thanks to the posters here who have explained the practice -- maybe the mother has no problem with her nanny practicing sou-sou. Or maybe she does. Either way, she ought to have a serious problem with the fact that the nanny couldn't be bothered to explain it. I think this line is the most unsettling of the post: My nanny has her strengths but communication is not one of them, she seems annoyed when I ask her about the day's events...
meredity,
I completely agree with you.
I think I am a fairly tolerant person but I would never put up with a nanny who spoke to me like that or had a problem recounting the day's activities with my child.
Wonderful that so many people jumped in and defended the nanny, however it sounds to me like this nanny had ample opportunity to explain herself and decided instead to be obstinate.
Let's save our defense for the many wonderful nannies who are out there everyday.
Send in some good sightings.
First of all, This is not a "black" cultural thing as whoever the ignorant person was that said so. I am African American.
BUT, I do agree that what happens in your home is your business and that the saftey of your child should be the number one priority. If it was the money handeling thing alone i would suggest that you just talk to her. However, the added fact that she sounds disrespectful makes it sound even more alarming. You should seriously considering firing her.
5:33 mentioned that a good white nanny would get paid $1500 a week. Does anyone know if that is net, or pre or post tax?
A good, white nanny?
How about a good nanny.
We have to remember that people coming over from the Caribbean Islands and working as nannies are not African Americans. They are not Americans. They are in most cases illegal and they come from a culture where people are not driven. Call it incredibly relaxed. The more time a person from the Caribbean spends in America, especially if she integrates herself out of Caribbean cliques, the better adapted she will be to the ways of America. I know a Jamaican nanny who has been here 20 yrs, is now legal and now drives and swims.
I would never pay $1500 to anyone who didn't/wasn't:
An Americam who has lived here 10 years or more
Had family members in the United States
Had A college education.
Had a clean driving record.
Could seriously swim. As in save a life.
Could help with a child's junior high homework.
Could cook.
Was Honest.
Was dependable.
Was Kind.
Was Athletic and Creative.
To me, that is worth $1500.
3;12
I hope you can do all these things. but from your posting you sound just like all the othr pathetic idiot moms who cant do shit and therefore have to hire a nanny to do their nasty work. PS you are a prejudiced bigot as well
3:12 PM
I fit that description, but I make less than $1,500. Are you hiring? Maybe I should forward your post to my employer! LOL
A Nanny
parkslope parents are sooo racist and look down on their nannies. Such hypocrites!!!! including my boss! You people think that all nannies are illegals, illeterate, hungry, and can't do better. Poor fools.
Nanny here
2:23PM (student/nanny), I am not sure if the first portion of your input is a response to my having said "I am a professional black woman", and my having stated that "As much as sousou is perfectly acceptable in my culture, there is a time and place for it". I wasn't saying that African Americans practice sousou, I was merely saying that "my" culture does practice sousou. I am neither African nor American, and I am black. :)
3:12PM, Pick me!
Wow. First off, yes, the lack of communication is a SERIOUS issue. This is your child being left alone with a caregiver, you have a right and a need to know what the child has been doing all day with the nanny. Second, yes, the walking arund in public visibly holding large amounts of cash is unwise and potentially dangerous. Sou-sou, kuku, whatever, sounds not fishy to me, just a low-end way of investing. And "not African" and "not American". I love it! My problem weith the currently considered PC "African-American" is exactly that. Who's to say that the brown colored person you see walkig around is either African OR American"? I'm "white", not "Euro-American". What's wrong with "black"?
It's called a sou sou and not kuku, and what JMT said about how the sou sou is done is the right way, but i think the nanny is suppose to use better judgement and not do something like that out in public.
what is wrong with those park slope parets? They think their nannies are illiterate and can't do better, including my boss. Shame on all of them! Sou sou is pooling money and that's that!
11:58AM, do it during your own free time, not while you are watching Park Slope kids.
I am not from NY, but I am quite curious-what becomes of Park Slope children when they are grown? Do they go on to college? Does their blood run ice cold? Since negligent childcare is so predominant in that area, I must wonder what the ramifications are.
Commission a study?
It is not a form of gambling. It acts as a saving account in a way. Rather than depositing the money in the bank, they make weekly contributions and after a certain amount of time (depending on how many people are in the pool) everyone gets their money back. I am a nanny (but have my own savings account) and know many people that do this. It is not affecting your children in any way so I don't see what the problem is. It is their money and they can do what they want with it.
10:06PM, don't do it on the job! Just because you "don't see what the problem is" doesn't mean that you should do it on the job, and around the children you are watching. There are alot of things that are considered "acceptable" that should never be done on the job, and certainly not around other people's children, when you are being p aid to take care of the kids. OP, fire your nanny if she has a hard time understanding her job description.
My nanny makes $180 per day for a 9 hour day. I will not have her running to the bank in my own town, so I most definitely would not allow her to go amongst the other domestics and collect cash debts. Sou sou or kuku, it sounds plain nut.
Mary, I do agree with you. I worked for many different families, and had a job description. I only had to go to the bank once (in many years) on behalf of my employer only because it was urgent and I wanted to help out. I know people will find it strange that a nanny is agreeing with an employer, but those who know anything about job descriptions and obligations will understand.
Whatever happened to job etiquette. Those who believe that nannies should be able to play sousou on the job should help the sousou-playing nannies find jobs with sousou-playing families.
There is a big cultural difference here. Just because one culture does it, doesn't mean it should be imposed on employers. A nanny who comes from a sousou-playing-on-the-job culture should not be tolerated by a no sousou-playing-on-the-job family for fear of being jumped by the ACLU.
Posts here are hysterical... If you have a nanny who loves your kid and takes great care of them, then frankly you are lucky and you should STFU if she is taking some of her endless time in the park to collect for sou-sou or even stop by her bank on the way back from whatever class she brought your kid too. NO-ONE here spends 100% of there time working when they are at work, and nannies have the least 'free time' during working hours then any other job - think about it - except when the kid is napping or distracted with other kids does the nanny get any kind of break.
Now of course if your nanny is lousy then 'outside activities' is probably one of many issues.
Oh and BTW to all those "and I am not a racist" posters..judging all Carribean Nannies (or even trying to make some generalized point about them) based on your own personal hospital experience (with a few Carribean nurses) or a vacation to some Carribean resort would in fact classify you as somewhat racist...Sorry
6:16 you need to learn how to spell. You all think that you are 'all that'...why are all of you on prozac and anti-depressants. You all should be discussing these issues instead of preying on those who are attempting to make a decent living.
8:33 it's your white kids who brought drugs to Mamaroneck!
If nannies are so desperate to play sousou, and need extra time to do so, they can quit their jobs. That way, they will have an extra 45 hours a week to play sousou. As an employer, I do not tolerate money changing hands in public if it does not involve buying snacks for nanny & kids. My nanny know very well that if she is spotted playing sousou, she is out the door.
4:28PM: The nanny business is not for nannies who feel that they are wasting precious sousou time babysitting.
This is wrong. Pure and simple, wrong. Not a good thing to participate in and not a good example for a child to witness. The guy at the top of the list gets the pot, eh? And the person at the bottom has to move up to claim his pot and is reliant on everyone being dependable and not exiting the savings group. It is stupid, risky and probably illegal. I wouldn't hire a nanny who took part in this kind of idiocy.
Mary:
If your nanny works nine hour days, and can't go to the bank during working hours, when can she go? Most banks aren't open on weekends, and nannies don't have lunch hours.
honestly does this matter in the grand scheme of things...does her doing this have anything to do with the way she takes care of your children. NO. get off your high horse...like you have never bought a lotto ticket...or droped a few quarters in the slots..or to get switch it up..invested (which is like putting your money in the pot and hoping you get it all back plus more).
No she should collect at the park, yes she should have the right be be a person.
nannys are normal people too, sorry most of you fail to see that they are more then servents that RAISE YOUR CHILDREN.
3.12 you are such a bitch and 4.32 you are a park slope parent bitch obviously
3.12 you are such a bitch and 4.32 you are a park slope parent bitch obviously
Laura, would you employ a sousou-playing nanny if she was taking money at the playground with your kids in tow. Everyone has the right to do a lot of cultural stuff, just not at work. In some cultures, it is okay to grop others. Would you recommend that people start gropping each other at the office?
12:34PM, Mary's nanny can go to the bank after work, and even on weekends. A lot of banks have modified their hours to accommodate the working people. Bank of American is bending over backwards to accomodate everyone.
Actually this is not something unheard of. I am not of hispanic decent, however I was raised in a spanish neighborhood in Chgo and this is something they do. Its not necessarily a "cultural" thing, its more of a savings investment to these individuals.
All they do is contribute X amount of monies to someone each week, who by the way is considered a trustworthy individual, and at the end of a certain time frame they get all their monies returned to them in one lump sum.
Its not gambling or anything illegal.
1:38 What does "grop" mean? Were you going for grope? As in grabbing someone's body?
Yes JMT, I meant grope as in grabbbing someone's body. Thanks for the correction. I didn't have my spelling bee hat on today. Cheers! 1:38PM.
People need to learn to hold their own money. If my nanny does not trust herself with her own money, I can't trust her with the petty/emergency change on my kitchen counter.
which is why i said she shouldnt do it at the playground...
money vrs groping ....seriously..
as a former nanny, i agree that if your nanny is doing something around your children that makes you uncomfortable, then ask her to stop, if she does not then fire her. you don't need to justify yourself. they are your children and they should be raised (screwed up as it may be) how you choose.
but think about this: in many situations, the nanny is from a different culture, she may be uneducated and is most likely underpaid. but YOU hired her. YOU are paying her pitiful, off the books salary. and while you may have a financial analyst to help you with your million dollar investments, she is relying on what she knows which may be this pool or savings plan. it doesn't sound like she's "playing a game." most underpaid nannies can't really afford to "play games" with their money. maybe she knows that her name is at the top of the list next month and coincidentally she needs to buy her child a birthday present. or pay for a doctors visit since she's probably uninsured as well. or maybe she needs to hit a happy hour and tie one on after working a 60 hour week taking care of YOUR children and putting up with your pretentious, racist, bullshit!
furthermore, to the woman who posted: "The US nannies can be sometimes a bit much to take because they are often educated and can sometimes relate a little too much to your life..."- you are pathetic. i was once a nanny for someone like you. i can assure you that we don't relate to your alternate reality. we live in the real world, and if we pretend to give a shit about your life while we're working, thus making you feel threatened because we "relate"...we're just gathering information to write the next juicy installment of the Nanny Diaries (which you will buy and read while getting a mani/pedi) so we can cash in on your hypocrisy and ignorance. Thanks, bitch!
See you at Saks! I'll be the one buying La Perla on your husbands credit card since all the surgery in the world isn't going to improve your tits!
get a life.
920, I have a life.
Do you work for me?
If so, get back to work.
Those new pots and pans aren't going to season themselves.
915, gets my vote for comment of the month.
It's called a pyramid scheme. My sister fired her housekeeper for taking part in this and then screwing over her frenemies nanny in this scame. It was a huge brouhaha. Punches were thrown. My sister had to use the panic button on her alarm!
sounds like a modern day version of the Tulip Scheme of the late 1600's.
Tulipmania
I think its a "sou sou", and no it is not gambling, or anything illegal. I think it would be strange to those in American culture because we are conditoned to believe that a person should pull themselves up by their own bootstraps. The concept of the sou sou encourages community and/or the collective.
If your nanny is doing a bad job with your children, you should fire her regardless of the "sou sou". But if she is doing a great job with them and they are safe and secure, why does it bother you?
9:15, you rock!
It WOULD help if people would enter SOME kind of name in the "other" field.
Yep, the elitist, paranoid, sanctimonious "thou shalt not handle any money but what I give you to buy food and treats for MY little angels" is ridiculous and sad. All this screaming about how nannies shouldn't do this and that "on the clock". People in every other profession get bathroom breaks. As in, they have the toilet stall all to themselves, get to pee and poop without commentary, observation and explanation. These mani/pedi "moms" who spend about 2 hours a day or less actually having to interact with their own children need to use some of their money and buy themselves a little wiindow into reality.
This is what's called a sousou or a partner. It's not gambling as many have assumed. It's a way of saving money or getting money in advance if you need it. Say the partner is going on for 10 weeks with 10 individuals at $50 per week.That's a total of $500. names are drawn to determine what order people get their payment in that 10 week period. If you need $500 upfront you could ask to get the first draw but you keep putting in your $50 each week until it's over. It's customary to give the 'banker' a 'tip' from your draw, but not necessary. People need to grow up it's not that serious.
Wow, funny to see an old thread "reactivated".
Well I most certainly wouldn't want my nanny kukuing on my time. Handling a dirty wad of cash could make her and my child a target for some thug.
Some of you are truly pathetic. Here's a tip: instead of blogging your ignorant, obviously uneducated thoughts, why don't ya watch your own damned kids?
Ha! You're hilarious! Sounds so, what? Ghetto?
Surely you're aware that this name was highly popular in the '80s, right? Britney Spears, anyone? Now if she isn't ghetto/redneck/country bumpkin as all get out, I don't know what is....
I see that bigotry and hatred is still alive and well in white privileged America.
Get a life and watch your own damned kids...
Bigotry is alive and well but not in "white" priviliged America. Bigotry is alive and well in privileged America. They- all ethnicities with money, hire nannies and look down at them feigning the inability to understand their culture. Let's not make this a race thing. Sou sous are called many different things and practiced by many different cultures. Ignorant people may not comprehend that or where they originated, but it is hardly a race thing!
I'm an AA professional woman with three children and an Asian nanny. One of my children was adopted and is Mexican, as is my husband the CEO of a large company here in NY.
I don't pretend to know more than I know but I wouldn't be comfortable with free exchange of a large amount of cash in a NYC park, even if it were for a bake sale.
I am a Black American. Both sides of my family came here from Africa and were enslaved.
My father is a retired pediatrician. I am well-educated with an extensive career in health policy.
I have traveled extensively throughout the world. I know about "sou-sou", or "parder". There's nothing wrong with it and many immigrant women participate with no problems.
This WASP, "mother", is racist. It reminds me of what I've read about America during Slavery times, when White women didn't believe that their Black enslaved servants didn't have souls. Even when a black mother was crying on the auction block when her babies and children were being sold. Right from her breast.
I don't understand THIS kind of soul, though.....A White woman who would prefer an immigrant who's culture she doesn't know over another White woman like herself, to care....No CHILD REAR, her own kids?
Why do women like this have kids in the first place. I mean, It's nothing new by any means but if you were that protective of your children, then you'd raise them yourself instead of "managing" their overall care. Too much to be around your kids all day? How do you think the nanny feels?
The nanny who you're probably getting on the cheap because 1. they are most likely illegal and you can pay under the table.
2. If they are legal you're still getting off cheap compared to an American and 3. Immigrants who don't know American culture...Especially White American culture......are easier to keep "in their place". Don't want the help knowing too much about you because that would mean that you are......equals.
So keeping someone beneath you who cares for your kids makes sense.
If you think so low of your nanny, you must think even lower of your kids. What did you do?.......Marry for money?
I feel sorry for these kids of such ignorant parents. Not much has changed since slavery.
"2. If they are legal you're still getting off cheap compared to an American and 3. Immigrants who don't know American culture...Especially White American culture......are easier to keep "in their place". Don't want the help knowing too much about you because that would mean that you are......equals."
I agree with the above post, especially the quoted excerpt.
This blog contains far too much ignorance, bigotry and xenophobia than I can handle. With that being said, I'm done!
Ignorance is bliss, isn't it?
Kuku, Sou Sou, A Sou, Box Hand, Pardner are what Americans would a 'pool'.
It's common in West Indian/Caribbean/Latin American culture for a group of people to pool their money together so they can get a larger amount when it's necessary.
If they have 20 nannies in the KuKu and each nanny puts in $100, the pot would be $2000 each draw. Each nanny would get his/her hand on their designated week. After the 20 weeks are finished then a new KuKu will start.It's used as a tool of saving nothing more.
I hope nannies out here are reading this. This just goes to further reinerate that the mothers that are paying you feel that you are nothing but second class citizens to them. And to think that you are spending 9 hours of your life daily to sit around with their misbehaving, spoiled, racist children.
And for you 'mothers' you all are doing nothing to decrease the thoughts of racism and distrust of White America. I actually feel bad for some of your children because believe it or not, your ideas and thoughts will transcend down to them. But I bet you don't care. You have your face too buried into making money and maintaing your "upper class white woman" statuses to actually raise your kids yourselves and to instill structure and value into your children. That's probably part of the reason your husbands are checking for that 20 year old co-worker. Trust me, I know.
It's rather funny that even with the money and 'class' you're not women enough to raise your own children, so you have to get someone that's less educated than you to do so. So what does that say about you? Think about this one for a second.
I would like to know, why those of you who do not have jobs or careers hire nannies to take care of your children?
Do you have a low sense of self-efficacy in yourself to complete the tasks of motherhood? If that were the case, why did you have children just to push them off on someone else?
I don't know about anyone else, but I am not in the habbit of answering to anonymous blog posters.
My life is envied by many. Instead of judging me, just allow another fellow human being her happiness.
Voodoo?? OMG I have a feeling your Nannies are far more educated than you are. You women are a joke.
You hire people you cannot understand because they are cheap labor and because your educated nanny might realize that you are a moron.
People have cultural things that they do . They are doing nothing wrong. You explain to your nanny that you wish she would take this money when she is not with your children and explain your fears. Is that so hard? They are people too you know?
Race shouldn't even come into this converation and not all women who have nannies are white for crying out loud.
What I do see in here are a bunch of women who are too lazy to watch their own kids and hire someone to do that . Then expect to run their lives for them. They are not slaves,they have choices and freedom to make those choices. They are getting paid to do a job and when they are doing that job there are rules like any other employee. BUT you cannot tell them that they cannot do sousou or kuku. They are not breaking a law and if it is their custom to do this who are YOU to tell them they cannot? Fire them, let them sue you. They can sue you now, legal or not. SO try to run them like slaves and find out just how much it can cost you.
OMG!! LOL!!!
If you women have so many concerns and issues with Nannies, then I suggest you watch your ill tempered, mal-behaved, nasty lil twirps of children.
And to think, you still allow these Carribeans to watch you children LOL!!!
Okay, settle down.
The original post described someone watching their nanny be handed wads of cash by other nannies in a public place. To most of America this would be odd. To a great percentage of America, a nanny walking around with a wad of cash and an appendage like a child to protect, this might look like an opportunity. Yes people speculated incorrectly.
I think references to slavery are completely uncalled for. Wads of cash doesn't know go hand in hand with slavery nor do some of the luxurious accomodations many nannies have.
I don't know a single nanny who makes under $15 an hour and most of them are paid cash under the table. (Shame on their employers). These nannies at the same time apply for wic and foodstamps and section 8 and all kinds of things because their income is secretive.
If you want my heart to break for any nanny plight, it isn't going to happen.
And the only person getting in my front door is a US Citizen with a four year degree and a meticulous command of the English language. Why is it we with standards don't have "these" problems?
2:57-
so you are saying the very people who are being paid and overpaid are the ones who have a right to complain? To complain about the fact that the person who hires them hires them to take care of their children while they are sahm-ing? Do tell me, where else would these 93,000 illegal domestic be hired if WE stopped hiring them?
Yeah right? Where? Whataburger is out. I mean they are left with the choice of working as day laborers, housekeepers, landscapers or oh yeah- going home to the very countries they fleed from.
it doesn't bother me a bit if you choose to hire undocumented, uneducated babysitters who literally ARE just anybody off the street with no refs or resume. Only the best for YOUR kids. LMAO- they barely speak english! You decide you rather hire someone else to parent your kids then you find the worst avail. Good work! You should be SOOOOO proud!
kRR: "My life is envied by many."
kRR, I don't think you even believe this. I can't see any woman envying a woman who admittingly can't muster up the sense to raise their own children. You have to hire another woman to do YOUR work, yet you are sitting here on some pedestal as if you're above other individuals. You've already thrown in the towel and is telling the world you do not have what it takes to raise your own kids lol. And that is to be envied? Why don't you hire someone to have sex with your husband too since you can't seem to handle to tasks of being a wife/mother.
And you call yourself a mom? How pathetic. You give REAL moms a bad name and you do not even deserve the title of 'mom.' Give me a break! Get off of your lazy ass and take care of your business.
4:25/2:02, just out of curiosity, how do you know that kRR is a SAHM with a nanny? Is that just one of your silly assumptions like her hiring someone to have sex with her husband? Or that all employers of nannies are white, rich and racist? Or that everyone's husband is like yours, banging his 20 year old coworker?
The only people who hire illegals are the Moms who don't care enough to get nannies who demand more than minimum wage. They hire illegals because they can get away with paying them nothing to take care of their kids. Stay home and take care of your own kids or have that stay at hom mom take care of them for you since you don't want to stay home with them.
Yes, it is true that white women are the majority of nanny employers, but there are lots of others! I had the misfortune to work for a black woman who was married to an NBA player. She was a SAHM. The job started out great. Then I began to see how crazy the woman was. She was scared out of her mind that her husband would come within 10 feet of an attractive female. I was not allowed to have nanny friends visit me. I got in trouble for dressing up nice on afternoon while the baby was sleeping BECAUSE I HAD DINNER PLANS WITH MY BOYFRIEND that started right after I got off. I was a live-in. The mother went to bed at around 10 unless she was out with the husband. As a live-in, I had my own entry. One time I had a conversation with her husband that lasted 30 seconds but she wasn't around and she told me in no uncertain terms that I should keep my conversations with "_"(you know him) to times when she is around. Sometimes she would tell me I was off and then call me on my cell -while I was in the home - and say she had an emergency and was going out. Later, I got it- she was bolting off to try and catch her man doing something.
The second family I worked for was a Jamaican man and a half black woman. The man was laid back. The woman was a real nut who abused her special needs child and was convinced everyone was trying to steal from her. Certifiable-she was.
Those are the only families I nannies for. I certainly wouldn't make an assumption about all people. Granted there are a lot of stereptypes about rich, white women. The women you really have to watch out for are those who are trying to appear richer than they are or who hang on the fringes of a rich crowd. They really have a complex and love to take it out on the working person by exploiting or abusing them.
As for Kuku, I never heard of it. But anyone trading large amounts of cash in a public park- they are setting themselves up to be judged. And so they were.
Cali Mom, If I'm not mistaken she stated that she was a SAHM in one of her previous posts. Let's not play around the obvious.
And since we're asking questions, who's to say that I am not rich and white? Or that I'm even married? Just because I can see past your moronic views does not automatically place me in the opposite category.
And Jfur, you think your two small encounters with black women justifies the actions of all rich black women? You can't be serious, not to mention anymore wrong. Last time I checked the US Census (maybe I'm making a bad assumption that you all even know how to read), white women posses higher amounts of depression and unhappiness more than any other race of women the world. Why don't you guys just logg off of the computers and tend to your children and find some therapy. Oh I forgot, that's what you hired your nannies for.
And for you all like Lindsay at 1:04: While us real women are out in the world making successful contributions to society, you are probably sitting at home fat, sloppy, and depressed waiting to pop your next Prozac. The only reason you're in the situations that you're in now is because you choose to open your legs to the highest bidder. If it wasn't for your husband's money you would be NOTHING. He probably even knows this, hence why he probably works 10-11 hours a day to get away from you. You shall find this out as soon as he leaves you for the hottest, skinniest, Asian that he can find.
I bet your children barely know your name. I bet you do not know what your children did in school today? What's their favorite color? I bet they secretly call their nannies 'mommy' while you're out trying to soothe the internal wounds that you're a bad mother by going out shopping. You bring nothing useful to any areas of the world except for retail. And if it wasn't for vanity sizing you'd probably couldn't fit anything to even buy.
In the wise words of some very wise individuals I know, "your stock is falling." Asians are beating you in every walk of your life that you deem important. While you're worried about your nannies and making racists statements across the internet, us Asians are creeping up right past you. Little do you know, YOU'RE actually the second class citizens.
my point was that exactly. the handfull of people we come in to contact with cannot be used as a point from which to judge an entire race.
i know many employers who don't bat an eye and call up nanny agencies and say "send me anyone quick, just no jamaicans". and the agency complies.
No, isn't there something wrong there?
it's habit,bitch
Some of you sounds like shallow, superficial, racist, elitist airheads. I can't believe that people actually say stuff like this and then have the NERVE to write it anonymously. Why even bother having a Black nanny if this is the way you feel? GET A WHITE NANNY THEN!
I swear that this world is on its way to destruction because if some of you actually birthed children into this world, what the HELL is the world gonna become in the next 10-20 years?
F---ing ridiculous. Damn right I said it.
*walks away disgusted*
We aren't talking about black nannies, are we? An educated African AMERICAN is probbaly the mots highly sought in the nanny rainbow. American being the operative word. This isn't an anti black post. Foreigners of all colors kuku it up.
VOD, bye!
12:34, which of my " moronic views" are you trying to see past? I'd call you out on some of yours but your entire post was nothing but an angry racist rant at white women filled with inane stereotypes against everyone who has whatever you covet and can't get for yourself.
I only skimmed it as there was obviously nothing past the first 2 sentences worth paying much attention to but you seem to believe that all white women are lazy SAHM moms who hire uneducated black women off the books, sleep with rich white guys till they find one to marry, and then have bad luck on the stock market. Oh, and that any white woman who uses a computer can't read and neglects her children.
I hope you can get some therapy to get beyond your jealousy of motherhood and family life in general, and maybe you'll even find a husband or a good job one day. If you can deal with some of your issues, that is. Best of luck.
keep on walkin' VOD Buh Bye!
Just to spite all of you, I came back. And I'll keep on watching. Once all of you change your mindsets, maybe I'll keep on walking. Until then, I'll keep on watching and checking you on your ridiculous attitudes.
Now what?
I got to thinking that maybe I shouldn't have said some of the things I said. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to start any trouble.
Wow. Someone was actually petty enough to post this:
"I got to thinking that maybe I shouldn't have said some of the things I said. I'm sorry. I'm not trying to start any trouble.
2:50 PM"
under my name. I didn't write this. I meant everything I said before. What a no-life-having dummy, whoever wrote this. LOL.
So does this mean you're not sorry?
For being a stark raving lunatic, or because you actually had to post back that this wasn't you?
roflmfao!
What a loser, laughing at your own corny jokes. Show your name, big bad wolf. There's your answer.
Time to let this crazy thread die. Psycho on the loose. Don't waste your time arguing with it.
For those of you who said it this isn't about race, you missed some of the BLATANT racist comments that were removed by the administrator.
4:12, 4:13 we know you are the same person
Has anyone taken the time to actually go to Nappturality and check out their message boards?
I registered for 2 reasons.
One was obviously out of curiosity.
And second, I was dying to know what they had to say about our (JD's ☺) Blog. I didn't post anything, but it looked as if maybe someone from here did. They didn't say anything offensive, but more I think trying to defend our Blog. Anyway ....
I must say, it was definately an eye opener.
Several things some of us agree on:
Quite a few of the posters disapprove of the rich working Moms that slough their kids off on Nannies. (Although a couple had to throw the word "white" in, I think there are women of ALL color that do this).
Also, there were a few that seemed to be the "voice of reason" ... as some of the women were quite angry. I read where a couple of the women wanted to (or did) 'Flag' this Blog, and others wanted to know why they did that ... Freedom of Speech, and all.
We also agree on the hiring practices of illegals and how wrong it is. (They covered so many of our topics, it was actually quite impressive).
Except for a couple of posters that were very annoyed and called us some names, most of the posts were quite sensible and intelligent.
I think for the most part, if there hadn't been some ridiculous postings here (voodoo for one), and calling the sou sou gambling, which it clearly isn't ... maybe they wouldn't have felt as insulted as they did.
Hopefully their Blog will understand that we are trying to do a service here ... and that's to protect the children, and forget the few idiots here that have nothing better to do than to stir up trouble.
One poster on Nappturality made a good point -
If we only had a natural curiosity about the sou sou, instead of jumping to conclusions about it, then none of this would've happened. (I can't remember the exact words she used, but you get the idea.)
Mary PP,
I think the intentional troublemaker(s) stir up a lot of dirt on this site, and, for the most part, do not represent the general opinions of the majority of the regular contributors. Of course, differing opinions are always more than welcome, because it helps (at least it does me) us look at and consider different perspectives to each situation. But there is a difference between a well meaning opposing opinion and a purposeful attempt to be inflamatory. Too bad that some people happen to come here for the first time sometimes and see something ugly going on that has been perpetrated by a "fake."
I can certainly see how that might give a misleading impression of the the entire site at certain times.
***J.D. PLEASE DON'T DELETE MY COMMENT, I JUST SIMPLY FORGOT TO EDIT MY LETTER CASE AND WANTED TO GET MY COMMENT IN BEFORE I GO OUT. SILLY ME. I WASN'T SHOUTING. THANKS. 8)
HAS ANYONE EVER HEARD OF A 'SYNDICATE'? WELL, MY MOM AND HER FRIENDS USED TO PLAY IT. IT'S A SURE WAY TO 'GROW YOUR MONEY'. ALL PARTICIPATING MEMBERS WOULD PICK A NUMBER, ACCORDING TO THE TOTAL AMOUNT OF PARTICIPANTS, AND GIVE THEIR MONEY TO THE 'BANKER'-THE PERSON WHO IS TYPICALY IN CHARGE OF THE WHLE THING. EVERY WEEK THIS 'BANKER' GOES AROUND COLLECTING THE SAME AMOUNT OF MONEY FROM EACH PARTICIPANT, AND WHOEVER'S NUMBER IS UP THAT WEEK, GETS ALL THE MONEY, AND SO ON. I THINK IT WAS A CLEVER IDEA. THE ONE MY MOM WOULD PARTICIPATE IN MOSTLY CONSISTED OF STAY AT HOME MOMS. I THINK THESE WOMEN WERE PRETTY CLEVER AT TRYING TO FIND A WAY TO PERHAPS STRETCH AND SAVE SOME EXTRA CASH.
Mom
You make a valid point.
I'm sure if the Ladies at Nappturality took the time to go through some of our posts from other parts of the Blog, they would recognize who the regulars were (and that most of them have some good sense! lol) and the few non-posters we get here from time to time that like to stir the pot.
Also, we unfortunately have a 'resident crazy' that likes to post anonymous, and takes great joy in flaming others for no other purpose than to 'get a rise' out of them.
Too bad WE are being blamed as a whole.
I've been here since almost the very beginning and have seen a lot of people come and go ...
this is a very worthy sight, and I love nothing more than reading or hearing about the 'success stories' - because someone intervened ... one more kid is safe tonite.
It's funny how you ladies seem to take ur cues from "Judge Judy"...
What your nanny was doing is NOT gambling. If you all took the time to step out of your little ignorant, white bread boxes and experience other cultures instead of grilling/snooping on what is clearly NOT your business, since it:
1. Is not illegal
2. Has nothing to do with your child.
Then you would know what it was all about. I would tell you, but it really isn't any of your business.
Furthermore, I find it ridiculous that you just assume rights to her private life. You pay her salary, you don't own her.
Also, all these comments are insane. Is it suddenly the "IN" thing to dwell in and criticize the life of your nanny? Are you all so pathetic that this is how you spend your time. I agree that whoever taking care of your child should be monitored, but not SPIED on. If you FEEL the WARRANTED NEED to do this, YOU are a bad mother for entrusting your children with this person. Here's a tip, find someone you trust around your kids and butt out of her private life. Want a beter one? Watch your own damn kids.
Peace
I cannot believe some of the things I have seen here
I am from the Caribbean and how dare you say people are not driven
How rude!!
In Barbados it is called Meeting Money..also a good way of saving money
Say its 12 of us and every week each of us gives $200 ..when it's your turn you get 12 x $200 an it goes around and around
My mother does this and she is a smart educated woman and owns her own businesses
Ridiculous
Some things that come out of some peoples mouths
Hmm. Should I say that I am greatly amused at the irate, racist one flinging in her 2 cents a week or so after a thread has gne completely dead, using CAPS excessively and signing out "peace"? And then trying even harder to get more bites by answering herself.
I think it was established about 5 months ago that this is NOT gambling. Try to catch up, or at least play a new tune.
Here, here!
As soon as this post starts to collect cobwebs, 'someone' has to start tossing nonsensical garbage around just to make trouble.
Let it go already.
Oh man, are we way off base here, or what?
And when are you people gonna let this post finally DIE!
UGH!
Just popping in to say nice site.
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