how to ask for a raise, and how much is too much?

Hi I needed some advice on what to do. I am a nanny of a baby boy who is about to turn 1, I was hired to only take care of him for 10$ an hr for about 30-35 hrs a week, lately for the past few months my MB has also had me watching her other child at the same time, at first it was only once in awhile but now it seems like its once a week or so. What should I do? Should I asked to be paid for when this occurs or let it go?

Need Help Quitting Please

I have been working for a family for the past 8 months being a nanny to their 9 year old son. When I got hired we set on a schedule which would be part-time in the afternoons (roughly 4 hours a day) and 1 day for 7 or 8 hours if I was willing to run errands and do the grocery shopping which I did so basically 24/25 hours a week. I told them that I couldn't ever go below the 22 hours a week because ideally I needed 30+ hours but since they were highly recommended to me by a previous employer I was ok doing part-time for them for a while which the mom said at least to commit for a year and I accepted.

Well, everything was fine aside from her attitude and being picky with things, I learned to deal with her and kind of get to know her and so I made less mistakes as far as buying exactly what she wanted and doing certain things with her child like board games and reading. One day out of the blue the dad tells me that the child was going to begin a new sport that very next day, 2 times a week and so I didn't need to come in until two hours later than usual which cut my time in half for those days and then on another day they cut at least another hour. He asked me to bare with them and that it should be only for a few weeks so I said I could understand for a few weeks but if they found that they didn't need my help as much as before to let me know so that I could find something else that works better for me and he said that they would that I shouldn't worry. He said this was temporary and things would be back to normal soon but they couldn't pay me until I began to work the hours again. Now mind you they schedule everything so I don't understand why they didn't give me a heads up on the change of hours before. Why didn't they give me the option for me to find something else if they no longer needed me?
Anyways this was two months ago and it hasn't changed if anything I get less hours or all of a sudden two days before they set a play date for the kid and I don't get to come in and lose my hours. It just feels like they want me to leave and so I have gone out now to a few interviews and I hope I will get something full time soon. I am wondering what would be the best way to leave them?

Should I talk to them in person and give them two weeks notice?

The problem is the mother always gets home an hour later after I leave and so basically I just deal with the dad but I do like communicating better in person. Would it be ok to just send them a group text or email and quit?

I don't like to burn bridges and I have never honestly had to leave a job like this. I also feel bad about my previous employer who connected me to them and I don't want to leave on bad terms. How can I go about this? I do not want to make it feel that we can work it out anyways because I'm set on leaving and I no longer desire that position so how can I leave nicely but very firm?

Am i being unreasonable?

I am a recently college graduate that has held several nannying positions throughout my college years and i am currently in a relatively happy position for the last months 4 months, with the verbal commitment to continue through the summer and next school year. It is a bit of a unique situation, as the mom is a young widow (less than a year) and has hired me to help out full time with the 3yo and 7 month old so she can get things done around the house. Pay is $15/hr which is the most I've ever made in a nannying position, although I have been somewhat underpaid in the past. It's a very laid back position and I have relatively few complaints aside from a few differences of opinion with discipline of the 3yo and other "small" issues for another day.

One area that has taken some getting used to is that she seems to have no concept of personal space or personal questions about my private life. She shares everything that's going on in her life with me, and seems to expect me to do the same. Often when I leave for the weekend she will chat in a very friendly way and ask what my plans are for the weekend, where I'm going, who I'm hanging out with, etc. Many mornings she will ask how my night was and if I did anything fun, you get the picture. It's all in a very friendly, chatty manner and I know she doesn't mean any harm by it. I have had a hard time keeping my personal life and "professional" life separate with her since she's so nosy. I feel as if she is expecting me to become a part of the family while I am seeing it as a dependable job (at least for now; I've definitely become part of the family in some past positions).

Here's my problem: 2 or 3 weeks ago she asked me to accompany her and the kids to her in-law's lake house a 5 hour drive away for a long weekend (Thursday afternoon thru Saturday night). I told her I would think about it and she also asked for my thoughts on how to handle compensation as neither one of us have worked a situation like this before. She described it as a fun weekend/vacation for me, as I would be able to go water skiing for the first time and just generally enjoy a weekend on the lake. I asked for clarification on what my duties exactly would be, and she said she pretty much just needed help keeping the kids fed and happy on the drive there and back, helping get the kids in bed quickly when we get back late Saturday night, and maybe an extra hand with baths at night while we're there, and she and her in-laws should be able to handle the rest.

I have no idea how to calculate this type of nanny vacation pay, so the only thing I could think was to estimate the hours I would be working/on duty. I came up with roughly 20 hours, at my usual rate of $15/hr, which comes out to $300. Even if I don't "work" a full 20 hours, this still accounts for any hours over my normal 40 for the week that I might be accumulating, as well as compensating for time that it's keeping me away from my home and personal responsibilities that I won't be able to attend to during that time.

I proposed this to her, and she seemed to find that unreasonable. The way she sees it, I am getting an all-expenses-paid weekend at the lake and should see it as a purely fun trip, with only a little bit of helping out in the car on the way there and back.
I explained that while that is true, it is still taking away a lot of my personal time (Thursday evening, Friday evening, and all day Saturday). She presented the scenario to her other part time (evening) nanny and other close friends who apparently agreed with her that I should just take the free vacation (even citing past a past nanny who went to the beach for a week, willing to be unpaid, but the family gave her $300).

I realize that it will be an enjoyable time, but it is still not the same as having my own free time to do as I choose. It's not like I will be hanging at the lake with my friends; I will be making polite small talk with her in-laws who I've only met in passing. Not to mention, if I choose not to go, I will be missing a full day and a half of pay (Friday and half of Thursday). I think that at the minimum I should receive pay for that amount of time ($165). I'm thinking of rounding up to $200 just to compensate for my time away from my own responsibilities, even if I don't do much actual "work" while I'm there.

Am I being unreasonable here? I honestly don't know how to approach or resolve this situation. The trip is coming up soon, she's wanting to get this nailed down, and I don't know what to tell her.

Need Advice Please

I am not sure how to address this... I currently nanny for a wonderful family. I love them to pieces. I also occasional babysit for mom's good friend. That is the issue: that family is rude and dad scares me. Baby is always dirty. Definitely makes me feel uncomfortable. How can I tell my current, awesome family I don't want to babysit for the friends anymore. My current boss is pregnant and don't want to upset her.

Bad Nanny sighting in Piedmont Ca

I first watched two Spanish speaking nannies changing about 1 year old babies on top of a wall, the height of which was like a counter, but was not a very wide surface and the nannies just trusted the babies would not fall off as they turned away. I didn't watch one of them diapering but the other skinny one didn't wipe the child when changing her.

Later, a very fat, Spanish speaking nanny with long straight black hair and 2 or three kids shoved one blond maybe 2 year old kid in the swing angrily, despite the kids' protests. Then gave the swing a violent shove, at which point the child screamed and flailed and reached for the nanny, obviously trying to get out, but nanny violently shoved the swing again and again, while scolding the child.

​I'm sorry I didn't think to take a picture. Now that I know about this site, I will next time.​


Bad Nanny in Houston, TX

Just had an experience with a nanny by the name of Andrea Marie Winebarger in Houston, TX.

This 30 year old woman stole every piece of furniture and electronics from our guest room. Stole $300 worth of groceries, stole $200 worth of prescription medication, reported a false claim to CPS, attempted to open a credit card in my name by stealing the mail out of our mailbox, and drove while intoxicated with at least one of my children in her car on more than one occasion.

She drives a silver Honda Pilot.

She has two young daughters, ages ten and nine, respectively.

If this person is offering to watch your children for you, please be EXTREMELY cautious!!!


Sexual Harassment ?

Here is something that has been bothering me for a week, and although I did speak to someone about it, I am seeking other's opinions, along with advice about how to see and speak to this individual when I see them again, along with what to do should the incident happen again. It's not related to childcare, but I'm sure some reader may have experienced this themselves with a DB or someone else, or they may know someone who has experienced this issue.

My weekend nanny position came to an end, and in order to maintain close to the same income from my nanny position, I accepted a job in retail and was hired on the spot due to my extensive retail experience. Everything is going great except for a manager that I have lost respect for. The reason? The way he speaks to me, his tone, and what he said recently, that makes me question if it was sexual harassment.

Last weekend (Saturday) I noticed it was close to the end of my shit (6p) and I motioned to this manager that it was time for me leave, and I asked him if I could take care of the customers in my lane, turn off my light and leave. He tells me in a sharp tone that it's retail, and I cannot leave. I accidentally turned off my light, and he comes back over and turns it back on, telling me " 'you may control most of the men in your life, but you can't control me' " in front of a customer. It sounded inappropriate and I have seen him staring at me before in a certain way, such when I said hello to him on my off day (I was grocery shopping) and when I was leaving I thanked him for helping me find a product. He was like " 'no, thank YOU' ", while checking me out. On this particular day he laid into me, and had me leave work in tears. There are only three occasions when I have cried at work: once when my cat died (he died while I wasn't home), when a parent told me I was too stupid, fat and lazy to work with children (her son was in my class and she didn't like me for an unknown reason) and now this. I was so upset I cried as I was walking upstairs, and I ran out of the store and to the safety of my car. Not only did his comment hurt, but what else he said (not relevant to the topic) in private.

The reason why I wonder could this be sexual harassment is due to the things he has said about other females:

" 'I haven't seen ____ all night. ____ must be in the back banging her back out' ". The "her" in this statement, is a young female manager who is very sweet and understanding. He said this to another male employee, but I don't think he realized I heard him.

Another female employee has fibromyalgia, and a skin condition of sorts. She mentioned something to this manager about her condition because she needed to leave work due to illness, and he told her it looks like herpes on her leg. (She has a large sore that's not contagious related to her skin condition.)

I've had anxiety about working with him,and from what I heard, he is very abrasive to female employees. HR already has had these employees complain, and I spoke with HR about him as well. She mentioned she talked to him. but I'm wondering if he was talked to. If and should he speak to me like this again, I am considering going above my store director's head and right to corporate.

Sexual harassment? What do you think?


Nanny Uses Charges To Rob Bank

A nanny in Denver is accused of using 2 children,her charges, to rob a bank-a heist allegedly planned to help her pay back money stolen from her employers. Rachel Einspahr, 28, went to the drive-thru at the Colorado East Bank & Trust in Severance-about 65 miles north of Denver - on Friday after picking up two sisters after school, according to the Weld County Sheriff's Office.

She allegedly sent a note through the vacuum tube demanding money for a man in the back of her Nissan Pathfinder threatening to hurt the girls,who are ages 7 and 1 1/2. The teller,believing the children were in danger, gave her $500, sheriff's spokesman matt Turner said. The girls were not hurt, and one told investigators there never was a man in the vehicle with them.

According to an arrest affidavit,first reported by the Greeley Tribune on Tuesday, Einspahr allegedly told investigators she wanted to rob the bank to pay back $ 15,000 of the money she stole under a possible plea agreement. Court Documents don't don't list who is representing her in the bank robbery case, but lawyers who represented her in previous cases did not return calls for comment.

According to the document,Einspahr,who is in jail,told detectives she first considered robbing a bank in larger nearby Greeley but then went back to Severance to pick up the children. She said she drove around for a while, bought the girls lollipops at a gas station and then removed her license plates and wrote a note for the teller on a side street before going ahead with the alleged robbery at a bank about a half a mile from her home, the document said.

After the robbery, investigators said she took the children to a park to play so she could put the plates back on.

Deputies, using surveillance video from the bank, found her SUV parked in front of her house and arrested her.She is scheduled to appear in court in the theft cases on Weds, when the prosecutors are also expected to file charges against her in the bank robbery



Wage advice In Birmingham Al.

I am interviewing with a family right now who needs a full time nanny (M-F 8-5). They have 3 boys, but my primary work would be taking care of the 7 year old non-verbal autistic boy. I would be taking the kids to activities, doing some light housework and laundry, running errands, and then doing a lot of therapy homework with the 7YO. I have lots of experience with special needs kids, but I am not sure what I should be charging and asking for with benefits.

I told the mom I charge $19-21 an hour for special needs families. Is that about right? With all of the extra responsibilities as well?
She said we can also talk about insurance, paid holiday’s, and paid vacation/sick time. What should I ask for? She mentioned that they might need night help for babysitting/weekend help and would be interested in doing salaried. What would the best route to go with that? Is salaried or hourly better?



Today I was informed by my director (I work in a preschool) that a parent in my classroom wants to move her child to the other classroom in our age group. The reason? Apparently she told my director that we (myself and my co-teacher) aren't very friendly or welcoming to this parent and her child. When I heard this information, my director wouldn't tell me which parent she was talking about; the only thing she said that it was a family who recently transitioned into the classroom. We got three new children and families, and two-thirds of our recent transitions are staff children: my administrator's nephew and director's son, so I know it's isn't either staff parent. I also know it is not any of the children in the classroom, as all of our parents love us. What we figured out was that it is one particular parent in our room, and to be honest, I find what she told the director rather interesting, and I am wondering if this is the start of drama from the mother.

Here's the thing: M and D are in a custody battle, and M is trying to control everything. M paints a rather negative picture of D, as D cheated on his wife with M and here comes a baby outside of his marriage. There are "rules" he must abide by, such as not picking up before 4p on his two days per week, this that, that, this. She is such a headache that D was called on one of his days because the child had a fever and therefore needed to be picked up per the sick policy. M finds out and wants documentation her child was sick, so she was given the illness report and a copy of our sick policy in the parent manual. It wasn't good enough for her apparently. More recently, D has gotten two overnights per week where he picks up from school on his days and drops her off the next day. This was a recent change, and from what he told us, he is attempting to obtain 50/50 custody. D drops her off early in the morning, around 645-700a, and from what I understand, M and Grandma (M's mother) were livid that D dropped off his child so early in the morning.

I could go on here, but we believe that M is a drama queen, and she is pissed about the recent court date, and therefore finding something to be pissed off about. So she tells our director something that isn't even true. Do we greet her and the child in the morning? Yes. Sometimes when M drops off, we may be busy with group time or changing diapers and/or taking children potty, but we ALWAYS make it a point to say hello to her. She comes in the classroom, acts as if she is either too good to speak, in a hurry to leave, and sometimes leaves without saying anything, such as a hello. I get the impression that she is standoffish, and from what I remember, my director even said this parent was a headache with the multiple tours (she toured five times, demanded the other toddler room, said the classroom her child would be in at the time was too small considering it is a one year old room. She didn't like the toys in that room, as she felt her daughter was too advanced to play with them, and had other things she didn't like when she first started.

D is not what M makes him out to be: he is very nice, down to Earth, and has realistic expectations. Easy to talk to, friendly, and fun. M is a beauty queen type who still lives with her mother, with a better make up job than a make up artist. I honestly don't have a problem with M,. but I also don't like it when people make up crap because of something else. I feel like she is pissed off about the fact that D chose his wife over her, along with the entire custody situation that she is finding anything she can to be pissed about and being a drama queen over something that isn't true.

Should we overly nice to her or not? Other teachers also believe she is standoffish and not very friendly.

How to ask for a raise... Sacramento, CA.

Hi I was wondering on how to approach my MB for a raise. At the moment I get paid $10/hr. I'm currently in Sacramento, CA. Infant will be turning one soon and every once in awhile I also watch her 4yr old as well. I love my job, love the family too, just don't know how to bring it up. Any suggestions??



Advice on asking for a raise

I need some opinions! I am in a nanny share in Chicago and have been for 1.5 years. Both of the kids will be 2 this summer and I generally love my job and the kids. One of the moms is pregnant and due in July which will add another baby to the mix in the fall. I am paid salary, but it stems to about 16 ish per hour. I feel like this is low and would like to ask for a raise. I'm not sure how to go about asking for a raise before the baby is included in the deal, when I feel an additional raise is necessary. $16 an hour for a nanny share is a steal in Chicago, a pretty highly paid nanny market. Any opinions/experience asking for a raise is welcome! Thank you!

Bad Nanny Sighting - Orange, NJ

> This morning I had an encounter with a nanny who should absolutely NOT be a nanny. Shortly after I got to the park in South Orange, NJ, this nanny started yelling at another mom for picking up her charge's tennis ball. Often people will play with toys laying around and put them back where they found them, it's pretty standard in park play. But the nanny yelled "no, no, that's our ball." Then she yelled at her little charge maybe 2 years old to go get the ball from the lady. Fast forward 20 min (all this time she is sitting on the bench with a 3-4 month old on her lap while talking to another nanny) she lays the baby on a blue blanket on the ground that is made of wooden chips, and continues to talk to the other nanny, without paying any attention to the baby. I notice the baby has two super long and massive wooden chips hanging out of its mouth and I ran to pull it out (he was seconds from choking on it). Of course the baby started crying and she yells "his mom wants him to eat dirt! She tells me everyday if he comes home dirty she's happy!" I replied very sarcastically "oh I'm sorry he was about to choke so I pulled it out." She said "oh I would do the same if I were you but his mom wants him eating dirt." A: what mom in their right mind wants a 3-4 month old eating dirt and B: let's say she did. I don't think wooden chips the size of a finger would constitute as dirt and C: he's "eating dirt" unsupervised while you have a conversation! Please nannies and moms in South Orange, NJ if you know the parents of this child, let them know that their child is possibly always in danger of choking


Fellow nannies, how do you find your jobs?

I am currently looking for a full/part time job in Alabama, and I am having trouble finding any good jobs. I am on care.com and I already asked all of my contacts if they anyone looking for a nanny. I have lots of experience and very good references, but very few people have responded to my application. Thus I need some different routes to look at. So fellow nannies, how do you find your jobs? Any suggestions of what I an do? I am wary of trying craigslist…



The Attack Of the Bouncy House

Over the weekend at a school carnival in Houston a huge Bouncy House was blown into a crowd of nannies, kids and others - 10 people were injured and taken to the hospital. I ( Leigh ) was there with some charges and saw it - it was very scary. I heard not happy screaming and then saw the big Bouncy House rolling in the wind like a bowling ball over the crowds with nanny friends and parents jumping in front of the kids and trying to stop it. My charges and I were far away at the snow cone stand thanks to goodness.

Have you ever seen anything dangerous at these type events?

What precautions do you take?

Have you or your charge ever been injured ?


Mother's Day Craft idea!

Hey, here's an idea I did with my 9month old charge for his mom's mothers day. The hardest part is getting a clean foot print!! It's a little easier I found though, to put the paint on a clean sponge then press baby's foot on it then to the plate. Make sure to bake it once it's how you want it to look!

Nanny Tax Question

Hi, had some questions about nanny taxes. What has your all's experience been? Need to do this for the first time, so what information will my employer need from me? Any forms I need to fill out? Basically I just need to figure bout what my part is to get paid on the books!

Mother's Day Idea recommendations.

I am a nanny of a 2 year old and planning some fun ideas for Mothers Day. Charge is becoming a big brother come November. She is currently 10 weeks. Should we make something from the unborn baby too? Can you recommend anything? Thank you.

What to do when leaving?

Does anyone have any ideas or what have you done personally when leaving a nanny job? When they let you go, but in a good way, we have a good relationship. But will only have worked less than a year. Do you write a letter? Gift? Nothing? Thank you!

Not you again! !

I arrived at work today, and on her way out the door, the other nanny mentioned that "MB's friend and husband would be moving in sometime tonight."

Yes, I heard correctly. Moving in.

This friend already stayed with the family earlier this year after having a fight with her husband. What we thought would be a one or two night cooling off period stretched into a month - long stay. And while she was here, she drove us all batty. She tried to take over the cooking (nobody really liked what she made). She tried to take over for the nannies (despite MB repeatedly telling her that we were in charge and she needed to leave us alone). She went through the kitchen and pantry, throwing out things she deemed unnecessary. She constantly talked about how the kids needed a better schedule/routine (we have one and it works great for us, thanks so much!), how far behind they were (they're not), what MB and DB were doing wrong as parents (they're awesome). She had no sense of boundaries whatsoever.

MB and I repeated often to each other in despair, "Isn't she ever going home?" When she finally left we literally stood in the kitchen and giggled in hysterical delight because she was GONE.

Fairly or not, I am angry (and a little bit hurt). Angry because this is the worst possible timing - there are major changes going on right now in the kid's lives (they just adopted their fourth child with some developmental/emotional issues, and the bonding/adjustment period has been rough for us all). The first time the friend moved in, my stress level was through the roof the entire time; it's pretty much sky - high right now ALREADY without the added stress. I've been with the family for over three years. In that time, they've gone through seven other nannies (because of the kids special needs and mom and dad's unique schedule, they need two nannies). I've been there for them through all of it - family emergencies, sickness, etc.

I am hurt because I did not get so much as a heads up. Also, this friend and her husband intend to stay for 3-4 MONTHS while they have major renovations done on their townhouse. They're bringing their two dogs (my NF already has one big one). Also, the husband works from home and so he would be home with me and the kids during the day. I don't know him at all and this makes me extremely uncomfortable.

I have a really good relationship with these people. In some ways, we're more like family. When this happened before, MB repeatedly told me that if it came down to the friend or her, she would make her leave. Do I have the right to say, "this is not okay, I'm not on board with this?" I could muscle through the first time because I knew it would only be for a limited time, but I'm dreading the summer now, especially considering everything that is going on now already. I feel like I may cause some uncomfortable moments if I bring it up, but I think our relationship would survive and honestly, I don't think I can do it again. Any advice?

I need help. I have no idea what to do.

I started working 48 hours a week for a family with 2 full time parents last February. From the beginning, there were a couple of issues. First, the parents clean almost NOTHING! They are the dirtiest sloppiest people I have ever worked for. In the initial interview, they said extra duties include maybe a load of laundry once in a while and filling the dishwasher every few days. Nope. Everyday I clean the disaster of a kitchen (they leave their dinner and breakfast dishes for me everyday, they don’t even put away the breakfast food they get out), I sweep floor, clean up tons of food dropped on the floor, clean up toys and paint (they don’t have the kids clean up anything), do 2-5 loads of laundry, make bottles, organize toys/playroom, clean the kid’s rooms, clean out the fridge, organize the pantry, do odds and ends for the mom such as finding something for her or organizing whatever she wants, plus putting away tons of the parent’s crap that they leave everywhere (mail, clothes, nail polish, brushes). My day is an endless frenzy of getting everything done since they do nothing for the house except make a mess.

The other problem is that the mom doesn’t discipline the children or expect them to obey her. Normally, I can deal with this and set up boundaries for the children, so it isn’t a problem. But I realized, the mom doesn’t want anything to change… She doesn’t want the children to have structure or discipline, even if she says she does. For example, one day I told the mom that I gave the 2 year old a timeout cause she hit her sister 5 times… The mom instantly looked displeased, and asked if I had made sure the 2 year old had eaten her snack, and had gotten a good nap… Of course I had, and the 2 year old just needed a timeout and take a break from beating up her sister..

I have talked to the mom about the housework, and that it is way too much. She said that of course I don’t need to do more than I can handle, and that since she doesn’t do anything, she understands. However, everyday for 5 days after that conversation, she started texting me asking me to do more stuff. Such as pick up all the toys her children had thrown all over the downstairs that morning, before I arrived. Or helping the housekeeper pick up toys and clean the kitchen. So obviously my talk did not kick in.

Despite all of these issues, I am happy to have a job and they pay me pretty well. $15 an hour for 48 hours, with me nannying 3 kids. I don’t want to go through the interview process again, cause it took me 4 months to find this family.

This brings me to the reason I am writing. I found out 3 days ago that the family is probably going to screw me over…. I am supposed to go on vacation in the beginning of June, which is supposed to be paid. Well, I was looking on care.com, and I saw that the family posted looking for a summer nanny… To start the week I leave for vacation.. Under another name… They blocked me from being able to view it, but the mobile app screwed up and allowed me to see it.
I was devastated when I saw it… I was at work, and I felt so betrayed.. I work my butt off for this family. I play with the kids, keep the house running and clean, and am starting to get attached to the children. That afternoon I sat down with the mom and asked them if there were any issues, or anything that I could improve on with my work… The mom assured me that they were really happy with me and loved how attentive I am with the kids. When I began the job, the parents told me that they are big on communication, and that they want me to feel free to talk to them about any issues, and vice versa… Meanwhile, she was standing there lying to my face. It felt like my heart was wrenching. I have never worked for a family that hasn’t loved me. I thought this was going to be my last family. That I would work for them until the kids didn’t need a nanny. Now, I am pretty sure that they are planning hiring someone the week I leave, then telling me the week I take off that I’m fired and not paying me for that vacation week.
We have a contract that says they must tell me 3 weeks ahead that I’m being fired, unless there is cause. However, we haven’t gotten to signing it yet because I just changed to salaried and we had to redue the contract. They are both lawyers, and I just don’t know what to do now.

I started applying to jobs, but I hate the job interview process. I hate going through tons of families that are not the fit, and getting discouraged after interview after interview doesn’t work out. I am so disappointed and sad. Every time I go to work and look at the moms face, all I can think about it that they are planning on screwing me over, and that even though they seem really nice, they are actually planning on being horrible to me. What should I do? What can I do? Please help.