Garden Of Eden in Brooklyn Heights, NY

Received Tuesday, April 29, 2008
nanny sighting logo I just found out about this blog. Let me post what I saw and when. I hope it isn't too late. An Island nanny, possibly Jamaican was in charge of a little girl who was riding in a stroller. The stroller did not really stand out. The girl had blonde hair and was about 16 months-20 months. The nanny was going to get food and she began an altercation with another patron at the salad bar. She started swearing, screaming at the top of her lungs. The little girl was scared out of her mind, as was I. I have never seen anyone flip out so bad or go so crazy in a public place. I forget the clothing the nanny had on. I remember her voice, her accent and her mean, snarling face. And the child's terrified eyes. This was back on Friday, April 18. Had I known about the blog, I would have told you about this nanny when the details were fresher in my head.


Anonymous said...

Everybody loses their cool once in a while.
Nannies, mommies, daddies and especially kiddies!
It's unfortunate that this nanny did so in front of her charge, and she should really learn to control herself while she's on the job. What she did was definitely not cool.

I'm a nanny and had an odd experience recently while doing errands for my employer.
I'd just entered a store and had my little charge in his stroller. I saw someone's child in a shopping cart screaming and crying LOUDLY and noticed the mother just standing there, staring angrily into space while her kid tantrumed beside her.
She allowed this to go on for several minutes, did nothing while other shoppers stared and had to tolerate the noise and discomfort of listening to her upset (and ignored) child.
Eventually, I walked over to her and gently asked if there was anything I could do to help---big mistake on my part, because she suddenly snapped out of her stupor and began screaming at the top of her lungs all manner of epithets, telling me to get the **** out of her business with her child and telling me to go to ****!
I apologized and turned to walk down another aisle but she followed me (leaving her child alone in their shopping cart), still freaking out and cursing at me like a maniac.
I finally told her she was being inappropriate in front of her child and my charge and I went to store security for support.
They took her in a back room with her still-tantruming kid and I never saw her again.
So temper-tantrums can happen to adults as well as children---which is why it's so important to raise children to behave with respect and manners from the start.

maggie said...

I think your window passed to identify this person. I am glad you now know about the blog.

Anonymous said...

Never say never ...

maggie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I am not saying Op was wrong to post this of the person with the child is excused from her actions but to add to 2:12's point:
Having raised an autistic child who's manifestation of her affliction was to tantrum, I can tell you, it can be harrowing. I have been guilty of throwing a tantrum to rival my daughter's at times, though, thank God, not often. Her tantrums would come out of nowhere and sometimes last several hours until she literally passed out from exhaustion. As she was otherwise high-functioning, no one could tell she was autistic unless they were trained professionals. The result was plenty of bad advice, nasty comments, criticisms and interference from well-meaning and not so well-meaning strangers. I am not in anyway saying this condones any persons behavior when they lose their cool and scream along with their child, or at their child, including my own. But having my own special circumstances has taught me to far less judgemental of others I see in similar situations.

I remember one time when my daughter was on the ground screaming in Target (she loves Target BTW so it's not like I dragged her shopping with me) but something had set her off. She was too old for me to pick up and carry out (She was 10) and she was howling. People clucked their tongues at me shook their heads, and I heard muttered words like "brat" and "Incompetent" I was about to burst into tears myself when a woman came up to me, put her hand on my shoulder and asked, quietly, was there anything she and her husband could do to help. I asked if she could please help me get my daughter out to the car and without another word the husband scooped her up and carried her out. The woman than offered to ride in the back seat with her so I could drive safely home. That wasn't required, as once safely in the familiar surroundings of our car with it's vcr, my daughter instantly calmed down. But I will never forget that couple's kindness amidst everyone else's judgements. Now, if I see someone going through a rough time with a child I almost always quietly approach and ask if I can help. I have been rejected, rather harshly a few times but many more times the person is usually just grateful to have heard a kind word from a stranger at a difficult time.

As a side note, my now almost adult daughter also approaches people with tantrumming children and offers assistance. She is extremely good at calming even the most upset child down. After all, as she says, she knows what it feels like to be that child.

Anonymous said...

2:12, Mom should have taken her kid outside to finish his tantrum...
However, the best way to handle a tantrum is to pay as little attention to it as possible.
Mom shouldn't have flipped out on you, but in my opinion, you kind of overstepped the boundaries by trying to offer her help, regardless of how helpful you were trying to be. I guess it just depends on the individual though when you take into consideration 1:22's experience.

Anonymous said...

I don't think she overstepped her "bounds". She was trying to help and some people are happy to have someone else step in and assist them. I saw a worker from wally world come over to a woman who had a child screaming and kicking on the floor and say "Hi Ya whats up little dude" and the kid forgot why he was angry. The worker handed him a truck of some kind and the boy took it and it was over.
I had my middle child do that in a very nice Chinese rest. I took her outside because I wasn't going to have the other diners disturbed.
Another of the diners walked out to his car and reached in and pulled out a balloon. He asked me if it was ok to give this to her . He did, and she stopped. He said to her now lets go eat our great food before it gets cold." She finished her meal without one word but kept smiling at the man that gave her that balloon. I was happy becaue I got to eat a hot meal. So it does help sometimes for someone else to ask if they can help.
Sounds like this poor mother was fed up with the behavior of her child and was ready to go off at any moment and this other poor woman took the abuse instead of the child.

Anonymous said...

Even though this isn't exactly on topic, I can't help but mention it ...

It's so nice to hear differing and even contradicting viewpoints on here without those making the comments feeling the need to attack or berate one another, criticize without offering anything further, or be downright nasty. Kudos!

I can see both sides of this issue. I've often wanted to approach mothers with tantruming children and offer to help, but have yet to do so; I never know how they may react, even if I have the best of intentions. On the other hand, if my charge were having a breakdown and someone kindly offered to assist, I am certain that I'd be grateful. Even if I wanted to handle it myself and refused their offer, I can't imagine being anything but overwhelmed by the stranger's kindness.

JXJ, I agree with you on both points. Ignoring a tantrum or waiting for the worst of it to pass is often the best way to handle that kind of situation, but the mother definitely should have tried to leave the store until the child calmed down. I realize that we can't go running out of stores and restaurants each time our children/charges get upset, but just because you've decided to wait a tantrum out doesn't mean that fellow shoppers/diners should have to do the same ... excepting, of course, those (probably rare) situations that 1:22 described.

Anonymous said...

1:22 PM
Your post opened my eyes. I have sometimes thought spoiled child, and incompetent parent, though I would never say anything out loud. I have learned something from you, and I will not be so judgmental when I see a situation like that in the future.
Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Well said 3:34. me too.

Anonymous said...

This reminded me of earlier today ... my son and I went grocery shopping.

He was pushing the cart, helping me get things, being really good.

Then all of a sudden --- bam! he took off with the cart (what a character he is!) ... so as he's halfway down the aisle, I yell to him, "What're you doing, get back here!"

I immediately saw a lady quickly strain her neck to see what was going on, and then my son turns the cart around to come back. We both pass this lady (and my son is laughing at what he'd just done) and I saw the BIGGEST smile creep over this woman's face.

I thought for sure I was going to get a dirty look for "yelling", but I guess she figured out that it was all in good fun.

It was nice to not have someone sneer at you when they don't really know what's happening.