My Nightmare Nanny Job

I’m writing in hopes to get closure. Maybe if I get this off my chest, I’ll feel better. Not a day goes by where I don’t think of them or something reminds me of them. I don’t want to think of them anymore. I want to forget all about them.

Last fall I left my management job to become a nanny to three kids. I thought being a nanny would be so fulfilling. I imagined taking them to museums, parks, zoos, out to lunch. I finally got an interview and I fell in love. I loved the parents, I loved the kids. They hired me a few days later. During my interview I made a point to ask if I would be allowed to take the kids on outings. The mom said yes after some trust was gained. Which I understood but in my mind I’m wondering why she would even hire me if she didn’t trust me.

My first week went great. I watched the twins while the oldest was at school.

Soon did I find out that this job was not what I signed up for. My days were full of screaming terror. These kids (almost 3 years old) cried at the drop of a toy. Cried if they couldn’t get their socks on. Cried if I cut their food the wrong way. And by cried, I mean SCREAMED. They fought constantly. Hit each other all the time. I know kids do things like this (I have 4 younger siblings) but it was out of control. When the oldest came home, I dreaded the 45 minutes I had to spend with him. He was the meanest kid I have ever met. He had the look of pure evil in his eyes. As soon as I turned my back, he would hit the twins, pull their hair. And the oldest, let’s call him “P” would scream and cry and throw temper tantrums over the most miniscule thing. One day he came home and was fine. 15 minutes later he’s throwing himself on the ground because he wasn’t allowed to have two popsicles at snack time at school. He was especially rude to me. Not listening when I discipline him, sticking his tongue out at me and my personal “favorite” laughing at me as I disciplined.

That was just the kids. The parent’s would leave at 7 am and not return until 4:30 pm. A lot of the time not until 5 or 5:30. Once it was even 7:30! We had discussed a 4:30 end time in my interview and I was fine with that. But that isn’t my complaint. My complaint is that when it was time for me to go home, the awkwardness never went away. I thought during my first few weeks the weirdness would just fade as time went on. It didn’t. If anything it got worse. There was something about them I just didn’t trust. I felt like they were into weird things. Super-natural things. Their demeanor and the way they were led me to think this way. I don’t want to give too much away but their choice of clothing and their kids names (which were totally weird) didn’t help their case.

I was never allowed to leave the house with the kids. Ever. Our only breath of fresh air came when we were allowed to play in the backyard. And like I said, it was fall so it was getting really cold. They never took the kids out either. The only time they left the house was to go to the doctor. My job quickly became very isolating and lonely. My brain had turned to applesauce. Talking to no one over the age of 7 all day really took its toll. I was depressed all the time, always tired. I DREADED getting up every day. I thought about getting into fender benders just to get out of working. I daydreamed of falling down the stairs with the laundry basket in hopes of breaking my leg.

The parents were so over protective it was nuts! They would wash their clothes every day. It didn’t matter if they were only wearing that shirt for a few hours and there was nothing on it. They wore different socks to bed and when they woke up, they went right into the laundry pile. The dish washer broke one day and one of the kids had diarrhea. They assumed it was from me not washing the dishes properly. I know how to wash dishes, I have never owned a dish washer in my life.

This family had already gone through 3 other nannies and I didn’t want to follow them. I didn’t want to let them down. I still liked them, given how weird and strange they were. But when I started crying because I had to go into work, that was when I’d had enough. I put in my two weeks and that was that. I have nightmares to this day that they have me locked in their house and won’t let me leave. I think about them just about every day and I want this to stop. This job was extremely scarring.

I feel a little better having told my story, whether people read it or not. My apologies that it’s jumbled and choppy. And I know it doesn’t sound as bad as it was. I will never be a nanny again.
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If you have a Nanny Horror Story you'd like to share with our Readers, please send it to: isawyournanny@aol.com or leave as an anonymous instant message using MEEBO on the main ISYN page.

That's a Good Question...

Hi there, I have a question. I am a nanny in the city of Chicago. I work 50 hours a week with two children, ages 2 and 4, (a third arriving in November). I try to find a fun learning activity for them every day, make them eat healthily, have them get plenty of exercise, learn to be polite, and turn every "why?" into a real learning experience rather than just saying "because I said so" or "because that's just how it is." But I am always questioning whether I am doing a good enough job. At 50 hours a week, I think it's safe to say that I'm a huge influence in raising these children. So I was wondering if you and/or your readers could say what they think makes a great nanny and what makes a bad one. I think it'd be an interesting post, as well. Thanks so much for your time!

Nannying 101: How Do I Negotiate Fair Pay Without Sounding Greedy?

I live in the Seattle area and have nannied and sat for children in both Seattle and the East side for the past five years. I was recently hired for a position for a 4 year old and 1 year old by a doctor and computer engineer. This is for when the father is out of town and the mother will be working odd hours.

I provided 4 references to this family, 3 of which paid $15/hr and my last steady position I held for one year paid $16.50 for the first 8 hours, then x1.5 for hours 8-12 and double time for hours 12 onward. This family even paid me the same rate while their children were in school, as I was "on call". I realize I was very fortunate with this family, but nonetheless, this was the rate at the steady position I was leaving (as the family was leaving the country).

Now, family #2 had listed their rate being offered as $13-15/hr. I consider a fair wage based on this area and my experience/hourly history to be $14-16. They are offering to pay $15 while the children are awake, but want to play a "flat rate" while the children are sleeping. I have had two negative experiences with this before which resulted in me leaving both positions after a short time, not because the wage wasn't fair, but because the tone from the parents was that they didn't appreciate nanny's work, sleeping children or not, and made several comments alluding to me being greedy and overpaid.

I am also in school and have 8am classes all year, so when the hours are 1pm-1am (children go to sleep around 8pm) I would really not feel properly compensated being paid for 7 hours and then not being able to leave for 5 more, but at a significantly lower rate. I realize I am in the higher end of wages, but really don't feel I should cut down my hourly and would really like to avoid a flat rate at all costs as in my experience, it only leads to the employer gypping the nanny. What are your thoughts on this? How do I negotiate without sounding greedy?

Why Didn't Somebody Help Ame?

Ame Deal, Arizona 10-Year-Old, Killed By Family For Taking Popsicle - The family of a 10-year-old found dead in a trunk outside an Arizona home initially claimed the child died while playing hide-and-seek. But investigators now believe Ame Deal suffocated after her family locked her in the box because she took a popsicle from the freezer without permission.

Phoenix police claim Deal's grandmother, aunt and two cousins regularly subjected the child to horrific treatment, ultimately culminating in her July 12 death.

"This child died at the hands of those who were supposed to love and care for her. This case has turned the stomachs of some of our most seasoned detectives," said Phoenix Police spokesman Sergeant Trent Crump in a statement posted on the city's website. (continued)

Your Thoughts?

Riders Fight as Baby Stroller Rolls Off Subway Car - NY
Heat or not, something seemed to get the better of two women who fought over a seat on a L, and it didn't seem to matter that one had some pretty precious cargo. A baby stroller holding a sleeping baby didn't seem to stop the much bigger babies from going at it.

The fight was all caught on amateur video and uploaded to YouTube. It appears the woman in blue didn't think twice about leaving the child she was watching behind to take a swipe at the woman in white for supposedly stealing her seat. Passengers took cover as the two went at it, locked up like two cage fighters but instead using the crouched confines of the L train to settle their childish dispute... not even realizing the baby that one was watching had rolled out of the subway onto the platform, where complete strangers had to run to the rescue.

No word on the condition of that baby and it is not yet known if either of the women was arrested.



A baby is Dead. Was it a Crime? - VA
She did it before.

The first time Karen Murphy left her son, Ryan, alone in her minivan, a call from day care and cool winter weather saved him. The 2-year-old was strapped into the vehicle alone for less than 30 minutes in January, according to news reports.

The second time Murphy forgot to drop Ryan at day care, she drove to her veterinary office in Northern Virginia and did not see her 2-year-old for about seven hours. Her husband went to the day-care center to pick up Ryan and discovered that he was not there. By the time he called home, by the time Murphy raced out to her minivan on Gentle Shade Drive last month, Ryan was unresponsive in the back seat.

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Mamaroneck Public Library - Mamaroneck, NY

I was at the Mamaroneck Library with my two children today. In walks a nanny (young, black, very short hair, jeans, some kind of cream colored flowy top, jamaican? accent) with her charge who couldnt have been more than 2 years of age. She was on her phone (black IPhone), plopped him down in front of some blocks, then proceeded to walk away. TWENTY minutes later, the little boy (blond hair, black track suit pants and a black windbreaker jacket with a G, like the Rye Garnets emblem) gets up looking for her, so I followed him to make sure he didnt go anywhere where he could get hurt or worse get kidnapped by someone. I said to her, "Maybe you should get off the phone and pay attention to him". Well, she completely flipped out and started cursing and asking me who the F&*K I was and I should mind my own business and that she was watching him. I said, "No you were not, he is looking for you and he is a little boy, he shouldnt be left alone". She again completely flips out, while still on the phone and complaining to whoever she was on the phone with, that some b&*ch (me, I am assuming) is asking her why she isn't watching the little boy. I then realize that I had seen her before at the Rye Y, and the boy was crying and screaming in the stroller and she completely ignored him, except to tell him to be quiet (that was at the circle). She was quite horrendous. The nanny/babysitter is there to take care of the child, not abandon them and talk on the phone the entire time.

Sunnyside Gardens Park - Sunnyside Gardens, NY

I saw a Nanny at Sunnyside Gardens Park in Sunnyside Gardens, NY. A black woman from an "island", maybe Jamaican, with two little kids, both caucasian children, a boy about 4 or 5 and a girl about 2 1/2 - 3. She was on the phone for most of the time I was there and would watch the two kids hurting each other. I walked over to the kids because the boy was hitting the girl with a wiffle-ball bat and the girl was protecting herself with a stick. She shooed them and didn't stop it, just continued with her phone call. By the time I came over he had a graphite bat in his hand and I grabbed it away and she finally interrupted her call for a second and said thank you. I was appalled. The nanny immediately went right back to the phone call.

Southridge Recreation Center Pool - Highlands Ranch, CO

Location: Southridge Recreation Center Pool, Highlands Ranch, CO
When: Tuesday, July 19/ Thursday, July 21/ Saturday, July 23 AND some days in the previous two weeks
Time: Early to mid-afternoon all days

I apologize in advance for not knowing whether this woman is a nanny, but her consistent behavior just makes me nervous enough that I think someone should know.

The woman in question is extremely short, probably 4'10 at the very most. She has short-ish, sparse black hair and has a bald spot. She wears glasses, and looks to be anywhere between 50 and 60 years old. With her is a girl, probably about 10 years old (taller than the woman, light brown hair, colorful one-piece swim suit). Sometimes other girls come with them too, sometimes not. I've never heard any names mentioned.

I work at the facility and see these two quite often. The woman is extremely overbearing towards the girl, who is an excellent swimmer and often just wants to swim by herself. She can't go around once in the lazy river without the woman marching to the side of the pool to yell at her for something. There is a lot of shouting involved, and the woman is very in-your-face and gestures with her hands a lot. Once, the girl looked a little angry at the woman and said something to her on the pool deck, then jumped into the water. The woman got red-faced and started crying, arms crossed. I have never seen the woman smile, and every time she's in the water with the girl, she seems to be harassing her about something.

On Thursday, much of the pool was closed because of a "sanitation issue" and the woman accosted a lifeguard and yelled at him, again getting red-faced and hysterical as he explained to her why the pool was down. Then she turned and grabbed the girl by the arm, quite roughly, and led her away to another pool.

I realize this isn't very specific, and I wish it could be more so. I'm on duty whenever I see this woman, so I've been unable to watch her more closely. Something about this lady just screams "unsafe" to me. Regardless of who she is (nanny, grandma, aunt, etc.), I just can't understand why a child was left in her care, especially because of how hostile she is towards the girl. I know
there are a lot of nannies in this area, and it would be great if the parents could see this. If she were my kid, I would want to be aware of how she was being treated.

Pregnant Nanny Doesn't Want to Lose Great Job

I am a nanny and am looking for some advice. I started a really great job two months ago and just found out i'm 4 weeks pregnant. I met this family through other nanny friends and pretty much got the job on the spot. I LOVE this family, the father is only in town one weekend a month (he works elsewhere as a surgeon) the mother is a nurse practitioner and only works 2 12 hour shifts a week (all day tuesdays & wednesdays) The kids are awesome - 9 yr old boy and 11 yr old girl, so they are in school most of the time i'm there and I just run family errands and do basic organizing/laundry. Basically I couldn't be happier working for them - I work 2 full days and occasionally a week night if i'm available. I obviously want to stay with this family and would like to work up til I no longer can. I'd also like to return to work after a maternity leave of 6-12 weeks depending on when the baby is born since the family will vacation across the country next summer anyways.

Do you think this would be a problem or that they wouldn't want to keep me? I would not bring my child to work with me once he/she is born unless the family suggested it - my mother and sister's would be happy to care for the baby the 2 days a week I work. Do you see any of this as a problem? I really don't want to lose this job. I really appreciate any input I can get.

The Waiting Game

After living in a college town for approximately four years, I recently began to see the childcare profession as extremely competitive. Parents need childcare, and there are providers everywhere you look-the daycare center, the stay-at-home-mom, and the nanny. Childcare options are everywhere. Out of the three types of caregivers, the most competitive I found was the nanny. Some parents prefer the comfort of a nanny inside their home, whereas others prefer their child to attend a daycare center, as they may not be able to afford the luxury of a nanny. In either case, I never thought that finding a nanny job in a college town would be so difficult. My competition? Twenty something university students with little experience in childcare.

That being said, I have applied for jobs listing the following qualifications: "must have experience with our child's age group, enjoy interacting with children, and own transportation. Early childhood education students encouraged to apply". I meet all the "qualifications": I exceed the experience with children, as I have worked with all ages, I love working with children, I have a car, and I am a student majoring in early childhood ed. Aha! I don't attend the prestigious four year university by choice. I am beginning to wonder if parents even read resumes-one family who listed these qualifications sent me a reply telling me they had over a hundred applicants and one was chosen. They signed the reply with best. I was livid. How could they list basic qualifications and send such a snotty reply? Did they really count every reply to the position, or did they look at my resume, understand that I exceed their qualifications, resulting in a feeling of fear that I am well-qualified to babysit their child, even though I am not a university student or grad?

"You have great experience and a background and we really like you. Unfortunately, you do not attend the university and are experienced, and therefore, we feel that you aren't qualified enough to work for us, based on the name of your school".

I can hear them saying this as I send my resume to prospective families in town. Most of the time, I don't even get a reply. It's rude, frustrating and childish. I am beginning to wonder if parents even know what a qualified babysitter and nanny look like. I am giving some consideration into building a website for myself, highlighting my background, experience, and education. I plan on opening a nanny agency within the next year, and I feel the website would be a great way to introduce me to the community.

Last week, I decided to apply for a nanny job because I am frustrated with my current job. That being said, I applied for a job with a family who is willing to work around my school schedule. From the way the mother was talking, she made it seem as though I got the job, and even discussed insurance with me via email. I sent her a reply about the insurance and mentioned I was looking forward to coming over Saturday to hang out with the kids, and haven't heard a response from her about that or a start date. She loved my work agreement, and wants a copy of it, however, I have reservations about sending something like that to her without a formal offer. I don't consider myself with a job offer until I hear back from her about a start date.

In the meantime, I guess I will sit patiently and wait until I find a family that is everything I am looking for....

Is Honoring Two Weeks Notice Worth the Price?

I am first time nanny who moved around 30 hours away from my home and life to do this, hoping to find a family to spend several months to even a year or so with. I was excited to try being a nanny for the first time, and the family, especially the mother, seemed so welcoming and accommodating in the beginning. However, things quickly began to change as her true personality came out. She was 9 months pregnant when I arrived, and I was told I would have little to no responsibilities regarding the baby as I was very clear that I had no experience with them and was uncomfortable dealing with a newborn. I was told this was completely fine, that I would rarely be left with the baby for even five minutes, and she was taking work off to help out with the house and the children. Shortly after he arrived the baby was often left in my care for hours as the mother did things around the house (personal, not cleaning), clearly hearing this baby screaming in my arms and knowing full well my discomfort regarding this. On top of this, I had a 2 boys to look after at the same time, older, but emotionally stunted and needed far more attention and hands on babysitting than other children their age. Fights, often culminating in screaming and slamming doors were common between them, and being rather new I had yet to figure out what works with the boys and how to best deal with them. While I had discussion with the parents about tactics, nothing seemed to work.

Around a month and a half after giving birth, the mother returned to work. Her returning to work coincided with the boys getting off school for the summer, so I was left alone with them for the majority of the day. I was told I would be working 30 to 35 hours a week, and would have 2 days off. I was not told that I would be working 50 to 60 and given no time off on weekends for myself. Furthermore, any time I did have to myself was resented by the family, and I began to feel guilty for going to my bedroom between 9:30 and 10 pm if the boys were still awake. I had no defined limits as to what my days were and it was beginning to take a physical toll on me. I was expected to be up and ready for 9, and would often be left alone with the boys until 11 or later on weekends. Furthermore, the oldest child is beginning to develop anger issues and had begun to lash out at me verbally, making my days stressful and emotional roller coasters.

I believed I could deal with all this, except around the 2 month mark my relationship with the mother changed, I lost any support system that had existed before, and felt isolated and taken advantage of within their home. The mother brought the child with her to the salon that she owns, but began to take the frustrations of her busy days out on me. She would return home from a days work, and find minute problems with the house, or things I had done wrong. Often, she'd lay out laundry lists of chores for me to do (cleaning and tidying the entire house, maintaining the boys rooms, caring for the 3 large dogs they own) all while keeping the boys entertained. This was very difficult, because as I mentioned before, the boys did not get along and could not play with each other, and were starved for attention; they could not play alone or keep themselves entertained without my constant input or involvement in their games. Also, the house itself was isolated within the countryside, leaving me with little choices of entertainment if I did not have access to a vehicle. The only thing that could keep them quite and entertained for more than ten minutes at a time was watching tv or playing on the computer, and these were limited to an hour a day before dinner. This always bothered me as whenever the mother was home, the boys were constantly watching tv, but as soon as she left, she was extremely critical of it and was very harsh if she found out I had let them watch a movie during the day. Therefore, I began struggling getting the chores done in the time frames and specific ways she requested, and instead of opening a dialogue, my concerns were either treated as lame excuses or brushed aside with useless suggestions of what could be done.

She often gave me very detailed instructions (to the point of being condescending) but I accepted that this was her house and followed them to the best of my ability. However, if one towel out of the 50 I had folded and put away was not as perfect as the others, this was pointed out to me, discussed at length, and then further discussed in a one person conversation she would continue under her breathe, while I was still standing infront of her! This emphasis on my flaws rather than strengths was a common theme, and permeated into all aspects of my day, whether it was something I'd done around the house or with the boys, it became a huge deal. A well done or thank you was a rare thing for me to hear, yet the smallest of mistakes was brought to the entire households attention and despite having been discussed, and then in my mind dealt with, would keep being brought up in mocking and belittling ways for the rest of the day. Also, I'd like to point out that I was not making mistakes constantly. Instructions were very muddled and would begin very detailed, and end with "well whatever, you do whatever you want". This confusion left me second guessing everything I did, as I realized she wanted it done a certain way, but, since I am unable to read minds could not fully deliver to her.

The final straw came about 5 days before the new nanny arrived when she began making backhanded comments about my work and began raising her voice to me. At this point I had already told them I would like to leave early, and had arranged to stay a little over two weeks until another nanny could come. However, after belittling me in front of the boys, and straight up yelling (something I have rarely experienced within my childhood and never in a work environment) at me over something I had not done that day, although when she told me about this task, she had voiced it as something to be done on a rainy day when I had time, giving the impression that it was not something urgent I went to my room and packed my things, and waited until the next morning when the house was empty and left, leaving to stay at a friends house (this was on my day off so I did not abandon the children or anything like that). I sent an email to the mother outlining some of my reasons and thanking them for the good times we had (as there were some) but explaining it was for the best. My health had gone downhill living in such a stressful environment and I had actually begun to start losing hair. It was at a point where staying was worse than leaving, and I had to stand up for myself. Honestly I don't think I could've lasted those last 5 days without experiencing some kind of emotional breakdown. I don't regret losing the reference, and I have never been so happy to be returning home.

Obviously my nanny hopes did not turn out as I would have planned, and I have realized that being a live in nanny is not a chance I will take again. I do feel bad about leaving the boys as I did, as they are good kids and I will miss them, but I am not a servant or a mind reader, and I believed that enough was enough and I couldn't stay in such a toxic environment anymore. However, what all this explaining and buildup has led to is a question, would you leave abruptly in circumstances like mine as I have done? Do you think I'm a terrible person for doing this to the family? I'd really like to get some more experienced nannies opinions, I know what's done is done, but I'm still haunted my lingering guilt, I'd like to get some discussion on if you believe honouring two weeks notice is worth the physical and emotional price staying would have taken.

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood is partnering with www.ListenToMePlease.com to offer 3 book giveaways from now through August 31st 2011. The three books being given away focus on helping children and their grown-ups identify and deal effectively with feelings that can cause troubling behaviors. To enter, simply go to: http://talesfromthenannyhood.blogspot.com/ and look for the most recent "Read, Comment, and be Entered to WIN this Book!" entry. All you need to do is comment with your name or blogger name to enter to win the book that has been reviewed!

First Park - 1st. Ave. and 1st St., NY

Hi, I am a SAHM that lives in the East Village. I also babysit here too. I am not the type of person that likes to interfere with people's lives, but when I see something related to children, it really makes me feel like it is my responsibility to get involved. I mostly see great caregivers at the park, but every once in a while I see one that should not be working with children. I will say what I have seen and people can decide what they think. I do not know the child's parents, but I'm hoping she/he reads this. I do not want anyone to lose their job, but I don't think it's fair that this child's parents are out there working hard thinking their child is fine and what they really have is a sub par Nanny.

The park is First Park. Located on 1 st. and 1st ave. I usually go there week days between 10am-12 noon. The Nanny and child are there when I get there and are still there when we go home. It seems like they must be there for a few hours. The Nanny appears Phillipine. Today she was wearing a striped dress. The toddler is around 2 years old, baby short blond hair, blue eyes, she is on the tall side. Today she was wearing a white dress with a yellow sash and flowers on it. She was barefoot the whole time I was there. In fact she is always barefoot. Which is not safe because the rubber mat gets very hot. The Nanny sits on the bench the entire time texting. She allows this baby to roam the park barefoot while she barely glance up from her cell phone. I hear people asking this baby,"who are you here with?" The baby never responds. What really worries me is that this young child is getting on really high climbing structures sometimes without this woman so much as getting off the bench to make sure she doesn't fall. Other parents, Nanny's (including me) "rescue" this little one. In my opinion this baby/toddler's safety is in jeopardy.

Not to mention that she does not engage or interact with this child in any way. I see other Nannies talking and playing with their charges. All this women does is offer her food if she happens to toddle over to he bench where she has firmly planted herself. This little girl has such a vacant expression on her face all the time as she wanders through the playground. I do not know the child's name or Nanny's name either. In hopes of finding her Mom/Dad I took a picture of the child on my camera phone today. If you think it might be your little girl get back to me. I was contemplating not doing this, but if it were my daughter, I would want to know.

Speaking Up Helps Another Helpless Child

A few days ago i had to take my charge to the doctors. In the UK if you don't have an appointment set up but need to see the Dr that day you can go and wait in the Drs office until he/she can fit you in between patients. So we went to wait, knowing it would take anything up to two hours and settled down with our books and toys etc. There was another little boy about three years old doing the same thing, waiting with his nanny.

The waiting room was full of people waiting to be seen and we were sitting directly opposite the boy and nanny. I assumed she was his nanny as he was very dark skinned and she was white. Every time i glanced up from what i was doing the boy was sitting in the same position, hands folded on his lap, not moving or talking or looking at a book or holding a toy. The nanny was sat next to him but was kind of turned away holding a childs backpack in her arms.

As i watched, he started swinging his legs back and forth and she immediately hissed at him to stop it. I was so shocked at her tone of voice and the way he went completely still again. At this point i thought maybe it was the nanny who was ill and waiting to see the Dr and she was just too sick to handle anything. Two minutes later the boy reached up to rub his head and again she told him to stop it. By now he had been sitting for half an hour without moving, with nothing to do or look at or play with.

Next he very timidly touched her leg and asked for his bag..she reacted as if he had burned her, she pulled her leg away from him and glared at him with such anger and contempt, as if she actually hated him, and just said no he couldnt have the bag, which she continued to hold in her arms. I was so concerned about what i was seeing. No three year old can sit still like that for so long unless they are too scared to move and he was obviously scared of her. She sat there for the entire time with a face like thunder.

I was thinking of what i should do when the nannies phone rang. It was the mother checking on if they had seen the doctor yet. She must have asked to speak to her son because the nanny passed the phone to him. He said he wanted to play with his toy car..at which the nanny put the bag onto his lap..he looked at her with such mistrust it was heartbreaking..he started asking his mother to come and pick him up. She must have said she couldn't as he then asked if his daddy could come and pick him up. The nanny took the phone off him and as she was ending the call with the mother the boy started opening his toy bag. As soon as she put the phone away she whipped the bag right out of his hands again and told him to sit still. He had barely unzipped it and again she held it on her lap.

He went back to sitting still, occasionally rubbing at his ears or head and straightaway being told to stop it. I was so upset to think what it must be doing to this child to be left with someone who has zero interest in him and who does nothing but make him feel he disgusts her. Thats the vibe she was giving him. We sat there for two hours and her terrible treatment of him continued the entire time. It was a very hot day and the waiting room was like an oven but she never even offered him a drink of water from the cooler they were sitting next to.

Finally she took him in to see the Dr. I went to speak to the receptionist and said i was very concerned about the little boy and could she please call his mother and give her my number. Fifteen minutes after we left the Doctors office the mother called me. I told her what i had seen and why i was so concerned. She said the nanny had only been with them for ten days and that the little had said he didnt like her and that she was mean to him but they had put it down to the fact she was new and he wasn't used to her. The mother was very upset and said she would deal with it and thanked me profusely for intervening. She called me the next day and said she had spoken to the nanny who had been angry and aggressive. She was fired on the spot when she tried to justify her treatment of him by saying at least she had never beaten him even though thats what he needed. I am so glad this powerless little boy no longer has to put up with being treated so badly by someone who should have been taking good care of him.

UPDATE: Nanny hailed for saving toddler from path of Streets and Sanitation truck

Woman Severely Injured in Gold Coast Crash Speaks Out CHICAGO — Jen Anton, left in a wheel chair after a car crash, spoke at a press conference today. It was her first public appearance since the crash in the Gold Coast in May.

The nanny was pushing 20-month-old Tyler Jones in a stroller when a truck driven by Department of Streets and Sanitation worker Dwight Washington ran her down along with several other pedestrians at the corner of Rush and Cedar.

Anton pushed the stroller away, keeping the little girl out of danger. Her hip and pelvis sustained severe fractures. She can't feel her right foot and has since had eleven surgeries.

Dwight Washington was found to be intoxicated at the time of the crash. Jen and her mother, who hasn't left her side, are hoping to hold him and the city responsible in court.

Jen had taken care of Tyler since birth and the little girl has visited her often at the Rehabilitation Institute of Chicago. Jen is devastated to be unable to work or most everything she enjoyed.

The long term impact is substantial. Aside from her medical problems she's facing financial ones as well. She's currently on her parent's insurance policy, which will expire this fall when she turns 26.

TO SEE THE VIDEO: PLEASE CLICK HERE

Two-For-One Deal: Nanny/Maid

I am a nanny and would like your advice. I most recently left a position after a day, yes one day {!}, but felt there were too many red flags for me to stay. I have done this recently w/a few other positions as well, the longest lasting six days before I realized I couldn't take it any longer.

Well here is the story, I meet a family via sittercity.com, Care.com or CL.org. At the interview it is discussed that chores pertaining to the child will be expected, but ONLY pertaining to the child and I agree. Then once I am on duty, I am asked to do certain chores such as vacuum the whole house, mop all the hardwood floors and dust all the furniture, etc!! WTF??!! When I diplomatically say that those chores do not pertain to the child directly, their response is that they do. They say they need all the rooms vacuumed/swept/mopped on a daily basis since the child crawls and may put something in his mouth. They say all the furniture needs to be dusted since if the dust lingers, the baby may get allergies from it and get sick. I could go on and on, but you get the picture, right?

I feel so guilty leaving these families in the lurch, I mean I work one, two, six days, etc...then do not show up one day because I get so fed up. I feel like they deserve it since they are trying to get a two-for-one deal with me, i.e., Nanny slash Maid. They are trying to use the baby to get me to do chores that are not even really child-related, but if they put their own spin on things, they can make ANY chore sound child-related. Oh..you must take out the trash since the baby may reach in and find a needle or dead battery and hurt himself, you must make the beds or the baby may get caught under the blankets and suffocate, etc...

I do not mind doing child's laundry, washing dishes/bottles and cleaning/sterilizing toys/pacifiers, etc. during nap times...but I resent families who ask me to do typical household chores, then try to make it look like it relates to the child, when it does not.

I feel horrible not showing up for these jobs the next day, part of me feels so guilty without giving a standard two-wk notice, but honest to God..I cannot stand being taken advantage of over and over...even for another day is unbearable so I leave and never return. Many families get angry with me over this, even when I explain my reason.

I want to continue working as a nanny, I love educating and caring for children, it is my passion..yet I am getting mighty discouraged by these families who take advantage of me. Where are the good families?? I know there must be some out there!!!!!!! What should I do? Is this the reality of working as a nanny and should I just suck it up? Or should I continue on and hope for a decent family to appear? Your thoughts?

Arrogant Boss

Hi everyone I have a situation at hand: The father of the twin charges that I am a nanny for is very arrogant and thinks he know everything. There is only so many incidents that can happen until I finally say "Hey!!! Enough with your smart comments and 101 questions."

I have recently purchased a used car and with purchasing a used car you have to fix it up. I came across with a problem with my car one morning (6:00am) on my way to work and had to call the mom (who I prefer speaking to anyways) and letting her know that my car had just over heated. She said for me to take my time and let her know what was going on. I had to wait for a tow truck to take it the mechanic (doesn't open until 8am) and I was letting them know everything that was going on every half hour. There were several problems with the vehicle, there was air in the system, the filter and spark plugs hadn't been changed in a while... These are things the mechanic seen when inspecting the system for the proper fluids and doing the check up.

I arrived at work at about 11 and he began with 101 questions, and telling me that the spark plugs or filter doesn't have anything to do with the car over heating (Mind you, I just told him that they found problems that didn't even have to do anything with the overheating as well). He just kept going on as if he were a mechanic (He knows absolutely nothing about cars).

The following day I come to work and he is right there again asking me what the dealership had said. I told him that they stated that it was an "AS IS" vehicle and that it had no warranty. He then asks the dumbest question as if the first answer wasn't good enough: "Well are they going to fix it?" I then told him in a very annoyed voice "It is "AS IS, NO WARRANTY"... He must have noticed the aggravation in my voice and left it at that. This is not the first time something like this has happened. I write notes daily on what is going in the day (Willingly) so that when they get home I can leave and they can read what happened through out the day and not waste 20 more min off the clock of my time. Well, that is what the mothers does. However the father will sit there for 15 min reading and then waste another 15 min of my time questioning me as if Im going to give him a different answer than what is written. He acts if I'm lying or something. His "I know it all attitude" is really starting to upset.

He also lied about telling me something that he never told me about. He does that on occasion. His wife would tell him to tell me something and he never does. She knows he doesn't because I would text her and the question being asked is something he should have told me about. I really don't know how to tell them that this is really bothering to the point where I just want to quit... The mother and charges are great people and I enjoy them, the father however, is someone where if we were on an island for months and he needed my help I would turn the other and let him fend for himself. I really don't like arrogant people.... Advice is greatly appreciated.

Mariner Playground, Central Park, (85th & Central Park West) NY

Friday, July 15, 2011
Mariner Playground, Central Park, (85th & Central Park West):

I arrived at Mariner playground around 1pm and sat next to the nanny who was chatting with her friend, another nanny. It looked like they were there a while already. They were settled there, their stuff spread out, already deep in conversation. The canopy on her stroller was pulled all the way down so I thought her charge was napping. As I sat putting my son's sandals on, there was movement in the nanny's stroller. The nanny's charge was actually awake and squirming around. Suddenly, the nanny violently flipped up the canopy and observed her charge trying to get out. She picked her up, threw her back into the stroller, then flipped the canopy all the way down again in disgust. It was very disturbing. It looked like she actually felt contempt for her charge. She threw the toddler back into the stroller like a sack of garbage that she couldn't wait to get rid of because of the stink. I thought how sad for this child to be taken to the park, only to be kept in her stroller because her nanny would rather talk with her friend than allow the child to play around the playground. The toddler did not look old enough to just allow to roam around. She would most likely have to be monitored closely. But the nanny was too lazy to carry on her conversation while following and looking after the toddler.

Anyway, my son and I left our stroller and made our way to the sandbox. From the sandbox, I was relieved to see that the nanny finally let her charge out of the stroller. It was a little girl, maybe 2 or so, blonde or light hair, wearing a light or white dress and pink sandals. The little girl seemed excited, hopping and skipping. But I was disappointed to see that after 5 minutes of hopping in the area right in front of her nanny and her stroller, the girl was put BACK into the stroller again! After about 30-40 minutes, my son got hungry so we went back to the strollers. As we sat and had a snack, the nanny was yelling at her charge to sleep. She shouted at the girl, "Go to sleep Emma! It's nap time!" The nanny was very angry that the girl was getting whiny and interrupting her conversation with her friend. She was very cross and continued yelling at the girl, "Take your nap! Don't look at me Emma!" This was really bothering me by this point. The poor little girl was taken to the park where she was NOT allowed to play. Now she was being forced to nap in her stroller in the 85-90 degree heat. The girl became quiet. After a while, the girl said something again and then suddenly the nanny flipped up the canopy, smacked her two times and then whipped the canopy down again. I could not help but glare in utter shock at the nanny. Soon after, the nanny and her friend left my side and walked to the benches on the other side of the fountain. At this point, I took a picture of the nanny. She was wearing a black shirt dress. Dark skin, black hair, and black rimmed glasses. She had a hot pink protective skin on her iPhone or cell phone. She had an orange trim City Mini stroller, and matching orange trim diaper bag hanging in the back. My son started playing in the fountain. After a while, I could see that Emma moved or said something and then the nanny smacked her again. This time, Emma started crying loudly. The nanny ignored Emma while she cried. After a while, Emma finally fell asleep.

I feel very sad and worried for this little girl. Based on the fact that she tolerated it quietly until that last smacking, it seems she is regularly treated this way and used to it. The girl knows not to cause much fuss. If the nanny smacks her in public for whining about being kept in the stroller all afternoon, I can't imagine what she does in private for really challenging behavior. I hope Emma's mom or someone who knows Emma informs the family. Emma is not being cared for properly. The nanny does not even take care of basic needs. Forget about playing, teaching, or caring! It seems the nanny actually has contempt for her. I arrived at 1pm and left at 3:30pm and the nanny did not interact with or look at Emma, or even lift up that canopy except to smack her, and let her out for 5 lousy minutes. All the yelling was through the canopy. At no other time did the nanny speak with Emma, offer her a drink or snack, check her diaper, or check to see if she was sweating or had her neck straining while she slept. If I ever saw my nanny treat my son this way, she would be fired on the spot.

Webb Park, Hartsdale NY

Webb Park, Hartsdale NY
Mid-June 2011
2 Nannies (black, with Carribean accents)
Their charges: 2 little boys, Andrew and Hunter (2-3 years old)

I'm not sure this is "bad" nannying so much as lazy nannying, but if I were the parents of these two little boys, I'd like to know.

This took place mid-day on one of the really hot, humid days we had in June. I had brought my daughter to play on the swings for a little bit, and noticed 2 little boys playing on the bigger play structure (for 5+ year olds).

Their nannies were lounging in the shade under some trees about 100 yards from the playground. Occasionally they'd just yell out something to the boys about not playing on the play structure, but the boys ignored them. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but the boys could have used closer supervision.

What bothered me the most was that one of the nannies finally came over after she saw me looking over at her repeatedly and started interacting with one of the boys by pushing him on the swing. At this point, the other boy looked extremely overheated--he was very sweaty and flushed. The nanny just ignored him while making small talk with me--ignored him to the point that he wandered in front of the swing she was pushing and was kicked in the head by the other boy.

Anyway, not really bad nannying. More just a bit lazy and not really paying good attention to how hot the little boy was.

As a parent, I'd like to know, so that's why I'm sharing.

Bad Parenting at Newton Center Playground - Newton, MA.

An unfortunate sighting today at the Newton Center playground. Newton, MA. A man (the child's father) was yelling loudly and caught the attention of almost everyone in the park before leaving. The father tried to gather his child and tell her it was time to leave. He came on a bicycle with a yellow bike trailer and a silver mountain bike. The child became upset and wouldn't get into the trailer and the father became infuriated with the child. He was yelling in a very abrasive way "get in there" "right now", loud enough for people to notice. I am usually pretty reserved, I let people use their own discipline methods. But he was picking the child up, throwing them forcefully into the trailer, the child was screaming. It was not a normal management of behavior. A few times, the child's feet would be thrown backwards over her head. I didn't get a good view of what she was wearing but many witnesses were watching, and the man was dangerously agitated. He upset many other fathers, mothers, and nannies at the park. Someone asked him to quiet down and he sped off in his bike toward Newton Center, cursing at the person and his child. So sad if he was keen to act that abrasive in public, I fear for the behaviors at home.