Received Monday, April 14, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I worked as a nanny for a period of time and was told I should write a book about my life as a nanny. I never wrote the book, but did write an article for a magazine and finally, on Friday, I received word they were going to publish the article in it's entirety. I will receive a byline for this article and here is my question, how would employers feel about reading their nanny's account of life in their home in a national magazine? The names, locations, ages and dates have all been changed, however those people who know me are going to know me and see my name in a magazine know who I worked for. This is not a story gushing about how wonderful life as nanny is/was, in fact quite the contrary. I was ecstatic on Friday when I heard from the magazine, but now I am bordering on nervous. Employers?
Saturday
Teen Screen- Rant
Received Saturday, April 12, 2008- Rant
I am a Marin parent who is very concerned about an article that appeared in the IJ. It is likely that you do not know the truth about teen screen.
Teen Screen
A scheme concocted by the pharmaceutical industry to screen the entire nation's public school population for mental illness and treat them with controversial drugs $$.
The connections to the drug industry - A high False positive rate.
The drug industry's long history of dirty tricks.
Sincerely
Leslee
I am a Marin parent who is very concerned about an article that appeared in the IJ. It is likely that you do not know the truth about teen screen.
Teen Screen
A scheme concocted by the pharmaceutical industry to screen the entire nation's public school population for mental illness and treat them with controversial drugs $$.
The connections to the drug industry - A high False positive rate.
The drug industry's long history of dirty tricks.
Sincerely
Leslee
Nanny's Pay Reduction...
Received Saturday, April 12, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I have worked with my family for almost 3 years now.
In December the mom and I sat down and discussed me getting a raise, since I had not gotten one in 2 years and they were expecting a second child. We did some calculations and she ended up telling me that she could afford $14/hour or $700 a week (at 50 hours). I have been paid the money quoted since January, but I wasn't paid on the books. I had requested to go on the books a couple of weeks ago and was told that we would figure things out.
Mom comes in yesterday and tells me that she is willing to pay $650 ($13/hour) on the books. I was surprised ... hadn't we agreed on $14 ... and hadn't they paid me $14/hour for the last 3 months? Whenever I brought up that we had agreed on $700 per week, she had some lame excuse ... mainly that she didn't know what I was being paid, as she was at home and her husband was dealing with the money. I am not buying that ... I am sure she knew exactly what her husband paid me every week (they have a business together), but she is just trying to find an excuse.
What should I do? How should I address this situation? I do not have a signed contract (she doesn't have contracts for anyone working for her), just her word. I have been counting on the money ... $50 a week are $200/month that I am not getting paid (I just purchased a new car and my car payment is that much). Any advice on this? Thanks!
I have worked with my family for almost 3 years now.
In December the mom and I sat down and discussed me getting a raise, since I had not gotten one in 2 years and they were expecting a second child. We did some calculations and she ended up telling me that she could afford $14/hour or $700 a week (at 50 hours). I have been paid the money quoted since January, but I wasn't paid on the books. I had requested to go on the books a couple of weeks ago and was told that we would figure things out.
Mom comes in yesterday and tells me that she is willing to pay $650 ($13/hour) on the books. I was surprised ... hadn't we agreed on $14 ... and hadn't they paid me $14/hour for the last 3 months? Whenever I brought up that we had agreed on $700 per week, she had some lame excuse ... mainly that she didn't know what I was being paid, as she was at home and her husband was dealing with the money. I am not buying that ... I am sure she knew exactly what her husband paid me every week (they have a business together), but she is just trying to find an excuse.
What should I do? How should I address this situation? I do not have a signed contract (she doesn't have contracts for anyone working for her), just her word. I have been counting on the money ... $50 a week are $200/month that I am not getting paid (I just purchased a new car and my car payment is that much). Any advice on this? Thanks!
Forever 21 in Ann Arbor, MI
Received Saturday, April 12, 2008
I saw a (what I believe to be) nanny in Forever 21 on Friday, 4/11. She was Caucasian, American I believe, dark blond hair in a pony tail with a white hat, pink t shirt, cheap jeans -scragly at the bottom and sneakers. She was talking at her pink Motorola Razor at some point.She was married (I can tell by the ring and wedding band) and had a little girl named Ella with her. I knew her name by the back pack hanging over the stroller. Ella was wearing brown shoes, jeans and a green shirt and had bright blond hair. I would guess 4-5 yrs of age. Ella had either a brother or sister sitting in the stroller, I'd guess 2yrs old.. i never really saw the child's face but the hair was all over the place... like a bed head look. Ella kept asking to go while mom/nanny kept looking through clothes and she said just wait and be patient. The care giver wasn't mean but she'd leave the child in the stroller by itself and walk away browsing through the racks. I kept an eye on them all through the store and finally I left.
One thing that bothered me is that I just wondered why you'd drag your kids into a store like that when its pretty day out. I know some parents don't mind when nannies take kids with them to the mall at times especially when they are still itty bitty babies but how about providing them with a drink, snack or toy while you are browsing. I don't think she's a bad person just bothers me that what I really do believe to be a nanny, due to the way she spoke, would rather spend time in a store like that as opposed to a fun activity in beautiful weather especially when we never get any!
I saw a (what I believe to be) nanny in Forever 21 on Friday, 4/11. She was Caucasian, American I believe, dark blond hair in a pony tail with a white hat, pink t shirt, cheap jeans -scragly at the bottom and sneakers. She was talking at her pink Motorola Razor at some point.She was married (I can tell by the ring and wedding band) and had a little girl named Ella with her. I knew her name by the back pack hanging over the stroller. Ella was wearing brown shoes, jeans and a green shirt and had bright blond hair. I would guess 4-5 yrs of age. Ella had either a brother or sister sitting in the stroller, I'd guess 2yrs old.. i never really saw the child's face but the hair was all over the place... like a bed head look. Ella kept asking to go while mom/nanny kept looking through clothes and she said just wait and be patient. The care giver wasn't mean but she'd leave the child in the stroller by itself and walk away browsing through the racks. I kept an eye on them all through the store and finally I left.One thing that bothered me is that I just wondered why you'd drag your kids into a store like that when its pretty day out. I know some parents don't mind when nannies take kids with them to the mall at times especially when they are still itty bitty babies but how about providing them with a drink, snack or toy while you are browsing. I don't think she's a bad person just bothers me that what I really do believe to be a nanny, due to the way she spoke, would rather spend time in a store like that as opposed to a fun activity in beautiful weather especially when we never get any!
Friday
Larry's Playground (Bassett Park) in Hamden, CT
Received Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, around 4:30 @ Larry's Playground (Bassett Park) in Hamden, CT. Great Nanny! Today I saw a nanny at Larry's Playground with a 21 month old boy. He had thick blond hair and brown eyes, I think his name was "Theo", and he was very well-behaved and it was obvious he was with a caring provider he trusted. She was loving and very attentive, playing with him in the sand, and speaking to him in Spanish although she has perfect English when speaking to me (because that's what his parents prefer). She was close by his side but also gave him room to explore on his own. I was very impressed. She told me she was from Guatemala, she had waist-length, straight black hair and was wearing black stretch pants and a tee shirt.
Thursday, April 10, around 4:30 @ Larry's Playground (Bassett Park) in Hamden, CT. Great Nanny! Today I saw a nanny at Larry's Playground with a 21 month old boy. He had thick blond hair and brown eyes, I think his name was "Theo", and he was very well-behaved and it was obvious he was with a caring provider he trusted. She was loving and very attentive, playing with him in the sand, and speaking to him in Spanish although she has perfect English when speaking to me (because that's what his parents prefer). She was close by his side but also gave him room to explore on his own. I was very impressed. She told me she was from Guatemala, she had waist-length, straight black hair and was wearing black stretch pants and a tee shirt.
Thursday
Porter Square Books in Cambridge, Massachusetts
Received Thursday, April 10, 2008
Today, (4/10), I saw the most lovely baby boy with whom I thought must be his nanny. He was maybe 16 months old or so, maybe younger, blondish hair, orange t-shit, olive pants (I think olive). It was at a reading by a Lois Lowry. This woman was white, in her late fifties or so, frizzy, shoulder length hair. She was appalling. The baby cried once during the reading and, when she carried him out, she put her hand *over his nose and mouth* so he could neither breathe or stop crying, pulling it away only when other audience members gasped. Repeatedly she let the child wander away from her, alone, for many minutes at a time. In fact, during one time she ignored him, he was picked up and carried over to her by a young woman in attendance, and she hadn’t even seen the boy picked up, let alone where he was when it happened. The nanny left him again amongst the book stacks, and when she came back to hi., he had fallen and, when he looked up at her, weeping,, she just shrugged at him and put her arms out and said, “what do you want me to do?”. I have never seen a more inattentive or uncaring caregiver. I urge you to please fire her; she leaves your baby unattended often enough and long enough for him to do serious harm to himself.
If anyone should have questions about this post, the OP has availed herself to questions by providing contact information.
Today, (4/10), I saw the most lovely baby boy with whom I thought must be his nanny. He was maybe 16 months old or so, maybe younger, blondish hair, orange t-shit, olive pants (I think olive). It was at a reading by a Lois Lowry. This woman was white, in her late fifties or so, frizzy, shoulder length hair. She was appalling. The baby cried once during the reading and, when she carried him out, she put her hand *over his nose and mouth* so he could neither breathe or stop crying, pulling it away only when other audience members gasped. Repeatedly she let the child wander away from her, alone, for many minutes at a time. In fact, during one time she ignored him, he was picked up and carried over to her by a young woman in attendance, and she hadn’t even seen the boy picked up, let alone where he was when it happened. The nanny left him again amongst the book stacks, and when she came back to hi., he had fallen and, when he looked up at her, weeping,, she just shrugged at him and put her arms out and said, “what do you want me to do?”. I have never seen a more inattentive or uncaring caregiver. I urge you to please fire her; she leaves your baby unattended often enough and long enough for him to do serious harm to himself.If anyone should have questions about this post, the OP has availed herself to questions by providing contact information.
NY 22 between Armonk and White Plains, NY
Update - Thursday, April 10, 2008
I am the OP of this post and offended that someone would question whether I was driving while this was going on. If you are driving down the road and a stark, raving maniac, flailing her arms about, apparently screaming, reaching down in the vehicle, causing minor vehicle swerving and throwing items at a child doesn't catch your attention, just how aware are you? After she passed me for the second time- because my speed was constant and hers was not- I tried to commit her plate to memory, but by the time I got home to jot down the plate, I could remember only two letters- two letters I was not sure of. Whoever this woman is, whether she is a nanny, a stepmother or a mother, she should never be allowed unsupervised around children. Ever. In all my life, I have first hand witnessed such an appalling spectacle. And it was a spectacle, otherwise, I would not have been distracted. Fear not, Eric's mom, for my children were still in school and not in the car with me. I would suggest in the future that responding commenters save their snark for the people who are hurting the children, not the people who are trying to alert the people who love that child that there is a problem.
Received Wednesday, April 9, 2008
This woman frightened me. She was a blonde woman with sunglasses and a pointy face and she was driving a Black or very dark blue Land Rover 3 on NY 22 today. (3/9) from Armonk towards White Plains near Cranberry Lake preserve. This sighting occur ed between 3:00-3:30. There was a dark haired boy who was a passenger in the back seat of the car. He was probably 4 or five years old and sat behind the empty passenger seat. The woman was screaming at him hysterically, so hysterically she was herky jerky with her wheel. The real clincher was when she reached down in the passenger side of the car and brought up what looked like a child's party bag, from a birthday. She began throwing the objects from the bag at the child, not tossing, throwing. Still screaming and frantic. This vehicle had New York plates and I am 80 percent sure the first two letters of the plate were "DD". I cannot imagine a mother would ever treat her child like that or behave so psychotically, so I am deducing that this was the nanny. The woman's hair was just below shoulder length, she was white and thin. I cannot offer much more, but I felt for that poor boy. What could he have done to deserve that? And if he gets treated like that in a car going 50MPH, how does he get treated when they are standing still behind closed doors?
I am the OP of this post and offended that someone would question whether I was driving while this was going on. If you are driving down the road and a stark, raving maniac, flailing her arms about, apparently screaming, reaching down in the vehicle, causing minor vehicle swerving and throwing items at a child doesn't catch your attention, just how aware are you? After she passed me for the second time- because my speed was constant and hers was not- I tried to commit her plate to memory, but by the time I got home to jot down the plate, I could remember only two letters- two letters I was not sure of. Whoever this woman is, whether she is a nanny, a stepmother or a mother, she should never be allowed unsupervised around children. Ever. In all my life, I have first hand witnessed such an appalling spectacle. And it was a spectacle, otherwise, I would not have been distracted. Fear not, Eric's mom, for my children were still in school and not in the car with me. I would suggest in the future that responding commenters save their snark for the people who are hurting the children, not the people who are trying to alert the people who love that child that there is a problem.
Received Wednesday, April 9, 2008
This woman frightened me. She was a blonde woman with sunglasses and a pointy face and she was driving a Black or very dark blue Land Rover 3 on NY 22 today. (3/9) from Armonk towards White Plains near Cranberry Lake preserve. This sighting occur ed between 3:00-3:30. There was a dark haired boy who was a passenger in the back seat of the car. He was probably 4 or five years old and sat behind the empty passenger seat. The woman was screaming at him hysterically, so hysterically she was herky jerky with her wheel. The real clincher was when she reached down in the passenger side of the car and brought up what looked like a child's party bag, from a birthday. She began throwing the objects from the bag at the child, not tossing, throwing. Still screaming and frantic. This vehicle had New York plates and I am 80 percent sure the first two letters of the plate were "DD". I cannot imagine a mother would ever treat her child like that or behave so psychotically, so I am deducing that this was the nanny. The woman's hair was just below shoulder length, she was white and thin. I cannot offer much more, but I felt for that poor boy. What could he have done to deserve that? And if he gets treated like that in a car going 50MPH, how does he get treated when they are standing still behind closed doors?
Reis Park in Somers, NY
Update - Thursday, April, 10, 2008
I sent the Reis Park email yesterday and I just went on your site and saw the route 22 sighting. These locations are very close. I suspect they are the same woman with the same child.
Received Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Today at noon, (4/9), I took my kids to this park and witnessed a very strange woman interacting in a very disturbing way with a boy, approx 3 1/2, named, I think, Caleb. She had blonde hair and the little boy had brown hair; she is slender, white, was wearing a grey sweatshirt and jeans, some kind of sparkly earrings, no wedding ring. She also had on big sunglasses and is probably in her twenties. She was sitting on a blanket with another woman, skinny, long brown hair in a ponytail, with a small blonde girl - maybe 18 months old. Caleb and the other woman called her Jen, I think. The boy was leaning up against her asking her to play as she had a picnic and chatted with the other woman. She said harshly, "YOU go play, that's what kids DO at the park, they PLAY!" Then she pushed him off of her and said sharply, "Stop LEANING on me!" I can't describe the contempt she was expressing toward this boy. He then waited several minutes and asked her to play again, to which she replied, "Can't I EVEN FINISH MY SANDWICH????" Then, after a pause, she said angrily, with a raised voice, "God, Caleb, you just make me feel like killing myself."
The other, brunette woman did not interfere in any way until the blonde woman snapped at the small blonde girl. Then the brunette woman said, "She was just trying to give you something, Jen."
It seemed like the brunette was very accustomed to the way the blonde woman treats the small boy. The two women know each other well - they were chatting about friends they have in common. The boy called the blonde woman Jen, so that and the lack of a wedding ring makes me think she wasn't his mom. She seemed to feel horribly burdened by him. Please, whoever this is watching your boy - get rid of her, quick.
I sent the Reis Park email yesterday and I just went on your site and saw the route 22 sighting. These locations are very close. I suspect they are the same woman with the same child.
Received Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Today at noon, (4/9), I took my kids to this park and witnessed a very strange woman interacting in a very disturbing way with a boy, approx 3 1/2, named, I think, Caleb. She had blonde hair and the little boy had brown hair; she is slender, white, was wearing a grey sweatshirt and jeans, some kind of sparkly earrings, no wedding ring. She also had on big sunglasses and is probably in her twenties. She was sitting on a blanket with another woman, skinny, long brown hair in a ponytail, with a small blonde girl - maybe 18 months old. Caleb and the other woman called her Jen, I think. The boy was leaning up against her asking her to play as she had a picnic and chatted with the other woman. She said harshly, "YOU go play, that's what kids DO at the park, they PLAY!" Then she pushed him off of her and said sharply, "Stop LEANING on me!" I can't describe the contempt she was expressing toward this boy. He then waited several minutes and asked her to play again, to which she replied, "Can't I EVEN FINISH MY SANDWICH????" Then, after a pause, she said angrily, with a raised voice, "God, Caleb, you just make me feel like killing myself."The other, brunette woman did not interfere in any way until the blonde woman snapped at the small blonde girl. Then the brunette woman said, "She was just trying to give you something, Jen."
It seemed like the brunette was very accustomed to the way the blonde woman treats the small boy. The two women know each other well - they were chatting about friends they have in common. The boy called the blonde woman Jen, so that and the lack of a wedding ring makes me think she wasn't his mom. She seemed to feel horribly burdened by him. Please, whoever this is watching your boy - get rid of her, quick.
Tuesday
Union Square Park in NYC
Received Tuesday, April 8, 2008
I witnessed something today that belongs on this blog. One nanny mistreating a little girl she had with her. The nanny was wearing brown pants and a striped tunic with brown as the main color. The nanny was an African American female, mid thirties, natural hair, 4" long.
The child was a little girl with blonde hair, bangs, wearing turquoise colored corduroys and a red jacket. The nanny went to plant her butt on a bench that looked towards the playground and the little girl was hanging around the nanny. The nanny was shooing her away. It was obvious that this was a very shy child. The nanny then started pushing her away. Pushing her towards the playground. The little girl was saying something like- because I could only gather from the tone and did not hear the exact words- but 'I want to go home' and 'please I don't want to'. The nanny stood up, snapped her magazine down on the bench and picked the girl up and screeched, 'do i have to play with you hear, do you see any other big people on this playground?' The nanny went on and on saying the playground was for big boys and girls but if she didn't want to play then the nanny was going to take her home, put a diaper on her and put her down for a nap. The little finally said 'okay I will" and then went over towards the equipment but then just sort of ended up sitting in the sand back by the fence. The nanny didn't even look up at her. The nanny was reading an Essence Magazine with Erika Badu on the cover. This little girl needs a nanny who is kind. This nanny is not kind. She is exasperated and mean spirited. There was more. I got knocked off meebo. So the little girl sits with her bottom on the black squares facing the fence, just playing with the few inches of sand there. She sat there for 20 minutes, until I left. I don't know how much longer. I was with earshot of the nanny when she said what she did about the diaper. I should have responded or butt in, but I didn't. I really wish I would have given her a piece of my mind. The nanny also had on several gold bangles on one of her arms. This happened right around lunch time, today, 4/8.
I witnessed something today that belongs on this blog. One nanny mistreating a little girl she had with her. The nanny was wearing brown pants and a striped tunic with brown as the main color. The nanny was an African American female, mid thirties, natural hair, 4" long.The child was a little girl with blonde hair, bangs, wearing turquoise colored corduroys and a red jacket. The nanny went to plant her butt on a bench that looked towards the playground and the little girl was hanging around the nanny. The nanny was shooing her away. It was obvious that this was a very shy child. The nanny then started pushing her away. Pushing her towards the playground. The little girl was saying something like- because I could only gather from the tone and did not hear the exact words- but 'I want to go home' and 'please I don't want to'. The nanny stood up, snapped her magazine down on the bench and picked the girl up and screeched, 'do i have to play with you hear, do you see any other big people on this playground?' The nanny went on and on saying the playground was for big boys and girls but if she didn't want to play then the nanny was going to take her home, put a diaper on her and put her down for a nap. The little finally said 'okay I will" and then went over towards the equipment but then just sort of ended up sitting in the sand back by the fence. The nanny didn't even look up at her. The nanny was reading an Essence Magazine with Erika Badu on the cover. This little girl needs a nanny who is kind. This nanny is not kind. She is exasperated and mean spirited. There was more. I got knocked off meebo. So the little girl sits with her bottom on the black squares facing the fence, just playing with the few inches of sand there. She sat there for 20 minutes, until I left. I don't know how much longer. I was with earshot of the nanny when she said what she did about the diaper. I should have responded or butt in, but I didn't. I really wish I would have given her a piece of my mind. The nanny also had on several gold bangles on one of her arms. This happened right around lunch time, today, 4/8.
Children's Park in a West Windsor complex, NJ
Received Tuesday, April 8, 2008-Bad Grandmother Sighting
Location: Children's Park in a West Windsor complex, NJ
Date: Thurs, 4-3
I had my 2 year old charge at the playground (this was my 2nd week with him and our 1st trip to the playground) and there were 2 other 2 year old boys playing there when we arrived. One family left soon after, but one little boy was under the care of his non-English speaking grandmother. My charge was playing on the slide and in the tunnels, and the other little boy M followed. All was fine until M started throwing wood chips at my charge, and would not stop when I asked him to. Grandma was only vaguely supervising and did not reprimand. So I took my charge over to the swings, only to have M follow. I soon realized Grandma had left the park completely. I was pushing my charge in the baby swing and M kept walking in front, so I eventually picked him up and put him in the swing next to us, hoping Grandma would come back. After a few minutes the mother came into the park (house was across the street) and took over the pushing. However, after a few minutes she took a phone call and left the park, her son still in the swing! This family has never met me before, and did not know if that was my charge, my son, or what! I was very angry about this because it also put me in the awkward position of not being able to give 100% to my charge b/c I felt guilty and concerned for M. Eventually the mother came back and I quickly pulled my charge out of the swing and left the park. It is just unbelievable to me how parents and caregivers can be so passive with their child's safety!
Location: Children's Park in a West Windsor complex, NJ
Date: Thurs, 4-3
I had my 2 year old charge at the playground (this was my 2nd week with him and our 1st trip to the playground) and there were 2 other 2 year old boys playing there when we arrived. One family left soon after, but one little boy was under the care of his non-English speaking grandmother. My charge was playing on the slide and in the tunnels, and the other little boy M followed. All was fine until M started throwing wood chips at my charge, and would not stop when I asked him to. Grandma was only vaguely supervising and did not reprimand. So I took my charge over to the swings, only to have M follow. I soon realized Grandma had left the park completely. I was pushing my charge in the baby swing and M kept walking in front, so I eventually picked him up and put him in the swing next to us, hoping Grandma would come back. After a few minutes the mother came into the park (house was across the street) and took over the pushing. However, after a few minutes she took a phone call and left the park, her son still in the swing! This family has never met me before, and did not know if that was my charge, my son, or what! I was very angry about this because it also put me in the awkward position of not being able to give 100% to my charge b/c I felt guilty and concerned for M. Eventually the mother came back and I quickly pulled my charge out of the swing and left the park. It is just unbelievable to me how parents and caregivers can be so passive with their child's safety!
Monday
Appropriate Work Attire
Received Monday, April 7, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a question to parents and nannies about appropriate work attire.
I recently started working with a new family. At my first interview it was just me and the mother. I work a fairly revealing shirt, but with another shirt under to cover my cleavage. She informed me at the end of the interview that she liked me and wanted me to interview with her and her husband, but that her husband was more conservative and wouldn't approve of my top. I shrugged it off, and wore a completely unrevealing shirt. They hired me and the first couple weeks I worked there all was fine. Then 2 weeks ago I bought a few new shirts because it's been hot here in Orange County. The shirts, do show minimal cleavage, and frankly with my large chest (38D) it is hard for me to keep my chest covered at all in a tank top! When I arrived for work the mother made some comment like, "Is it summer already?" I just figured she meant the bright colored tank top. The next day I wore the same style top in another color. At the end of that day she told me she wanted to have a talk. She informed me my outfits were completely inappropriate and a bad example for her girls, and told me if I wore another shirt like that I would be let go.
So, my question is this. What do parents think is appropriate for their nannies to wear? I have always thought I dressed nicely, normally crop pants, and a tee shirt with minimal cleavage and sandals or sneakers. Nannies, what do you normally wear to work?
I have a question to parents and nannies about appropriate work attire.
I recently started working with a new family. At my first interview it was just me and the mother. I work a fairly revealing shirt, but with another shirt under to cover my cleavage. She informed me at the end of the interview that she liked me and wanted me to interview with her and her husband, but that her husband was more conservative and wouldn't approve of my top. I shrugged it off, and wore a completely unrevealing shirt. They hired me and the first couple weeks I worked there all was fine. Then 2 weeks ago I bought a few new shirts because it's been hot here in Orange County. The shirts, do show minimal cleavage, and frankly with my large chest (38D) it is hard for me to keep my chest covered at all in a tank top! When I arrived for work the mother made some comment like, "Is it summer already?" I just figured she meant the bright colored tank top. The next day I wore the same style top in another color. At the end of that day she told me she wanted to have a talk. She informed me my outfits were completely inappropriate and a bad example for her girls, and told me if I wore another shirt like that I would be let go.
So, my question is this. What do parents think is appropriate for their nannies to wear? I have always thought I dressed nicely, normally crop pants, and a tee shirt with minimal cleavage and sandals or sneakers. Nannies, what do you normally wear to work?
Nanny Upset Over Unsupervised Ten Year Old...
Received Monday, April 7, 2008-Rant
I wanted to report something I saw today, between 2-3 pm on Sunday, April 6th, which really upset me. The reason why it upset me was because it involved a child, and what I saw angered me, because I used to work in daycare turned nanny and I am a Girl Scout leader. I would never do to a child what I saw this individual, the child's MOTHER, do. Maybe I am overreacting, but this child was 10 years old, and it was a parent who did this. I work part time on weekends at this store, and a parent approached me, like she was looking for something or someone. I asked her what or who she was looking for, she replied, "my 10 year old daughter." I figured maybe the child went to get something else her mother forgot, and waited a few minutes. "Maybe she 's outside waiting for me," the mother replied in a nonchalant tone. I checked out the groceries, and the mother did not once look for her child. She didn't appear to be concerned at all, that her child was missing. I had an associate check outside for the girl, and called a manager. It was about 5-7 minutes later and my manager found the girl, who was carrying something. Anything could happen to a child in 5-7 minutes. The mother paid for her groceries, and left the store. Since when is it OK to let a 10 year wander around the grocery store alone? My store isn't that big-yet anything could happen to an unsupervised child.
I wanted to report something I saw today, between 2-3 pm on Sunday, April 6th, which really upset me. The reason why it upset me was because it involved a child, and what I saw angered me, because I used to work in daycare turned nanny and I am a Girl Scout leader. I would never do to a child what I saw this individual, the child's MOTHER, do. Maybe I am overreacting, but this child was 10 years old, and it was a parent who did this. I work part time on weekends at this store, and a parent approached me, like she was looking for something or someone. I asked her what or who she was looking for, she replied, "my 10 year old daughter." I figured maybe the child went to get something else her mother forgot, and waited a few minutes. "Maybe she 's outside waiting for me," the mother replied in a nonchalant tone. I checked out the groceries, and the mother did not once look for her child. She didn't appear to be concerned at all, that her child was missing. I had an associate check outside for the girl, and called a manager. It was about 5-7 minutes later and my manager found the girl, who was carrying something. Anything could happen to a child in 5-7 minutes. The mother paid for her groceries, and left the store. Since when is it OK to let a 10 year wander around the grocery store alone? My store isn't that big-yet anything could happen to an unsupervised child.
An extra $100 a week?
Received Monday, April 7, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Hello all of ISYN, I'm writing to get your opinion on a situation I am facing. I am currently a live in nanny for a family with 2 toddlers. I have been with this family going on 4 years now. While working 55+ hours a week with them I also attend school in the evenings and weekends to get my degree in teaching. I am due for a contract renewal and raise in August and I am having doubts and I need some advice on how you as employers of nannies and nannies themselves would handle it.
In the next year and a half my education costs will be greatly increased, including the time when I have to student teach and will no longer be able to hold my job (they know this), but I have not had a raise in 2 years since my last raise was a significant raise that would have covered any raises as it was. Is it to much to ask for an extra 100 a week for a total of 10 an hour? I'm not looking to increase my hours, my job requirements or anything like that. (I also do all cooking, all laundry, and basically am a household manager)
I also am going to need significant time off to complete requirements needed for school prior to my semester of student teaching, not to mention that my classes will be starting early at 430 instead of the 630 it is now. And as it stands now, asking for even 2 hours off to attend a Dr's appointment is a major issue, much less them getting home on time the nights I have school.
In the past 2 years I have dealt with a lot from them, including moving, grandparent issues (if that didn't give me away friends, I don't know what else would) and their constant money tightening. I also feel very unappreciated in this job, nothing seems to be good enough and we barely talk about the issues I am sure we both have.
I am unsure what to do from this point, do I bring this all to their attention now and let them make a choice on if it will work for them, or should I wait until august and bring it all to their attention. Mom starts a new job soon so things are already stressful as it is. Ugh, i'm just lost right now.
Hello all of ISYN, I'm writing to get your opinion on a situation I am facing. I am currently a live in nanny for a family with 2 toddlers. I have been with this family going on 4 years now. While working 55+ hours a week with them I also attend school in the evenings and weekends to get my degree in teaching. I am due for a contract renewal and raise in August and I am having doubts and I need some advice on how you as employers of nannies and nannies themselves would handle it.
In the next year and a half my education costs will be greatly increased, including the time when I have to student teach and will no longer be able to hold my job (they know this), but I have not had a raise in 2 years since my last raise was a significant raise that would have covered any raises as it was. Is it to much to ask for an extra 100 a week for a total of 10 an hour? I'm not looking to increase my hours, my job requirements or anything like that. (I also do all cooking, all laundry, and basically am a household manager)
I also am going to need significant time off to complete requirements needed for school prior to my semester of student teaching, not to mention that my classes will be starting early at 430 instead of the 630 it is now. And as it stands now, asking for even 2 hours off to attend a Dr's appointment is a major issue, much less them getting home on time the nights I have school.
In the past 2 years I have dealt with a lot from them, including moving, grandparent issues (if that didn't give me away friends, I don't know what else would) and their constant money tightening. I also feel very unappreciated in this job, nothing seems to be good enough and we barely talk about the issues I am sure we both have.
I am unsure what to do from this point, do I bring this all to their attention now and let them make a choice on if it will work for them, or should I wait until august and bring it all to their attention. Mom starts a new job soon so things are already stressful as it is. Ugh, i'm just lost right now.
Thursday
I was surprised when I was fired...
Received Thursday, April 3, 2o08- Perspective & Opinion
I have a question. I was recently fired because I sat a 21 month old child beside me on the counter while I washed 2 bowls. He was crying because his dad was leaving and I was trying to hurry and do the bowls so his dad could leave while trying to keep the child close and comforted. I have only worked for the family a couple of weeks but other than this offense, I have had a great relationship with the parents and children. I was surprised when I was fired over this action instead of warned not to do it again. I was right beside of the little boy, so I didn't feel like I was endangering him, but now that I look back on it, I see that it wasn't a good idea. My question is, do families normally fire their nannies for relatively small offenses like this? {PS, I am reliable, on time, do more than asked for the family, volunteer to do extra errands using my gas and car, and am otherwise extremely careful and loving with their children.}
I have a question. I was recently fired because I sat a 21 month old child beside me on the counter while I washed 2 bowls. He was crying because his dad was leaving and I was trying to hurry and do the bowls so his dad could leave while trying to keep the child close and comforted. I have only worked for the family a couple of weeks but other than this offense, I have had a great relationship with the parents and children. I was surprised when I was fired over this action instead of warned not to do it again. I was right beside of the little boy, so I didn't feel like I was endangering him, but now that I look back on it, I see that it wasn't a good idea. My question is, do families normally fire their nannies for relatively small offenses like this? {PS, I am reliable, on time, do more than asked for the family, volunteer to do extra errands using my gas and car, and am otherwise extremely careful and loving with their children.}
Chapin Playground in Brooklyn, NY
Received Thursday, April 3, 2o08
Where: Chapin Playground in Brooklyn Heights
Who: One nanny and about 4 children. The nanny was about 5'6", 200 lbs, short black hair, levi jeans, Adidas tennis shoes, dark brown curly hair to the ears.
What: This is a toddler playground. This nanny arrives supervising and I use the word loosely 4 children, none of whom are toddlers. This was at 6Pm yesterday, (4/2). The children were three boys and a girl, all about 8-12 years old. Two of the boys had sandy blonde hair, one of the boys was black wearing a long sleeved dark blue shirt and khaki pants. The girl was wearing pin striped pants meant to be fashionable with buttons high on the waist and black boots. The children were all aggressive on the playground, utilizing the equipment in a way it was not meant to be used. The girl attempted to stand one foot in one bucket swing and another foot in the other, with one of the boys helping her. Another boy ran and leaped up on to the bench I was sitting on. True, it was 6Pm ish, but it is a toddler playground. They had no right to be there and this nanny let them run wild while she sat and slurped some icee drink with a dazed look on her face. I attempted to make eye contact with her but to no avail, she was vegging out. The children were so loud and worst of all foul mouthed. The boys used phrased like, "N word, please" I don't appreciate it in the least. I would have said something but I had two small children with me and the aggression of these children just made me think of the children down south who were younger than this who brought knives and tape to school to kill their teacher. In other words, I did not want to confront them. I left the park with my children. There are plenty of places to let your misbehaved, angry tyrants play and a toddler park is not one of them. Shame on this very bad nanny.
Where: Chapin Playground in Brooklyn HeightsWho: One nanny and about 4 children. The nanny was about 5'6", 200 lbs, short black hair, levi jeans, Adidas tennis shoes, dark brown curly hair to the ears.
What: This is a toddler playground. This nanny arrives supervising and I use the word loosely 4 children, none of whom are toddlers. This was at 6Pm yesterday, (4/2). The children were three boys and a girl, all about 8-12 years old. Two of the boys had sandy blonde hair, one of the boys was black wearing a long sleeved dark blue shirt and khaki pants. The girl was wearing pin striped pants meant to be fashionable with buttons high on the waist and black boots. The children were all aggressive on the playground, utilizing the equipment in a way it was not meant to be used. The girl attempted to stand one foot in one bucket swing and another foot in the other, with one of the boys helping her. Another boy ran and leaped up on to the bench I was sitting on. True, it was 6Pm ish, but it is a toddler playground. They had no right to be there and this nanny let them run wild while she sat and slurped some icee drink with a dazed look on her face. I attempted to make eye contact with her but to no avail, she was vegging out. The children were so loud and worst of all foul mouthed. The boys used phrased like, "N word, please" I don't appreciate it in the least. I would have said something but I had two small children with me and the aggression of these children just made me think of the children down south who were younger than this who brought knives and tape to school to kill their teacher. In other words, I did not want to confront them. I left the park with my children. There are plenty of places to let your misbehaved, angry tyrants play and a toddler park is not one of them. Shame on this very bad nanny.
Employer Deals with the Fired Nanny's Reference Request
Received Thursday, April 3, 2o08- Perspective & Opinion
We recently terminated our nanny. A quick explanation of why- part of her responsibility was to keep our two sons equipped with the clothing and supplies they need for school and their activities. We trusted her with a credit card and everything appeared fine. Our eight year old son let it slip this weekend that the nanny had bought herself a pair of athletic shoes when she took him to get some sporting equipment. As soon as he let it slip, he tried to back up over his words. When pressed he explained that she had told him not to tell us. We asked if she had ever done it before and he said yes, than no, and then I don't know. He just turned eight. I was 10 times more furious at her for compelling him to keep a secret than I was about the theft. We fired her by phone. My husband telephoned her and very firmly but gently told her her services were no longer necessary. Today, I received two phone calls from potential references. The nanny did send an email to me on Tuesday reminding me that I had encouraged her to help herself to anything she needed. (True, but I was referring more to trips to Whole Foods and Magnolia's.) In the email, the nanny also offered a heartfelt apology. So much so, I am over my anger towards her. Here is my quandary, because of what she did, again not specifically the theft but doing something so sneaky and stressing my child out over the fact that he was keeping and then let go her secret, I cannot be a reference for her. She said she has learned from this experience and loves working with children and cannot have a gap in her work history. Employers, how do I diplomatically handle reference calls? I don't want to ruin her ability to work again. She is young, (23 years). Advice?
We recently terminated our nanny. A quick explanation of why- part of her responsibility was to keep our two sons equipped with the clothing and supplies they need for school and their activities. We trusted her with a credit card and everything appeared fine. Our eight year old son let it slip this weekend that the nanny had bought herself a pair of athletic shoes when she took him to get some sporting equipment. As soon as he let it slip, he tried to back up over his words. When pressed he explained that she had told him not to tell us. We asked if she had ever done it before and he said yes, than no, and then I don't know. He just turned eight. I was 10 times more furious at her for compelling him to keep a secret than I was about the theft. We fired her by phone. My husband telephoned her and very firmly but gently told her her services were no longer necessary. Today, I received two phone calls from potential references. The nanny did send an email to me on Tuesday reminding me that I had encouraged her to help herself to anything she needed. (True, but I was referring more to trips to Whole Foods and Magnolia's.) In the email, the nanny also offered a heartfelt apology. So much so, I am over my anger towards her. Here is my quandary, because of what she did, again not specifically the theft but doing something so sneaky and stressing my child out over the fact that he was keeping and then let go her secret, I cannot be a reference for her. She said she has learned from this experience and loves working with children and cannot have a gap in her work history. Employers, how do I diplomatically handle reference calls? I don't want to ruin her ability to work again. She is young, (23 years). Advice?
Wooster Street Playground in New Haven, CT.
Thursday, April 3, 2007
I just wanted to report an AWESOME sighting Wednesday 4/2 at Wooster Street Playground in New Haven, CT. I was there with my boys and a guy (mid-20s) came in with a group of 5 kids from the Mustard Seed after-school program. He was so great with all of the kids, keeping an eye on all of them, breaking up arguments and giving one little girl who was having a bad day (he mentioned it) so individual attention, just letting her sit on the bench with him for a few minutes. He disciplined firmly, but kindly and never made a huge issue of anything (any misbehavior's were just what I would consider "typical" kids stuff). He played football with one of the boys and spent some great quality time with them. It was just great to see a guy working so well with young kids.
Description of Caregiver: Young Caucasian male, average height/ build, gray sweatshirt and jeans.
Description of Children: 5 children, all African-American, looked between ages 6-8 (younger school-aged), 3 girls/ 2 boys. I heard the names Jawan, Amani and Samonia.
They had no bags, stroller or vehicle. They did bring a bat, ball and football.
Just a great and refreshing sighting all around!
I just wanted to report an AWESOME sighting Wednesday 4/2 at Wooster Street Playground in New Haven, CT. I was there with my boys and a guy (mid-20s) came in with a group of 5 kids from the Mustard Seed after-school program. He was so great with all of the kids, keeping an eye on all of them, breaking up arguments and giving one little girl who was having a bad day (he mentioned it) so individual attention, just letting her sit on the bench with him for a few minutes. He disciplined firmly, but kindly and never made a huge issue of anything (any misbehavior's were just what I would consider "typical" kids stuff). He played football with one of the boys and spent some great quality time with them. It was just great to see a guy working so well with young kids.Description of Caregiver: Young Caucasian male, average height/ build, gray sweatshirt and jeans.
Description of Children: 5 children, all African-American, looked between ages 6-8 (younger school-aged), 3 girls/ 2 boys. I heard the names Jawan, Amani and Samonia.
They had no bags, stroller or vehicle. They did bring a bat, ball and football.
Just a great and refreshing sighting all around!
Tuesday
King Park in Berkley, CA
Received Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Is this your nanny? She is a very strongly built- (not fat-not thin) African American woman who may have grown up in the south based on her slight accent. She has dark, dark hair and wears it in poodle balls tethered together. Usually wears jeans and sneaks. Today she had on a yellow shirt with cap sleeves and a grey sweatshirt tied around her waist. She takes care of a little girl who is about 9 months old. There are only two swings at the park for kids this age. She always puts her bulky brown leather bag in one of the swings. Twice I have had to ask her for the swing. She makes a huge deal about taking the bag out of the swing and heaving it over her shoulder. And the whole time I am standing there, uncomfortable. I feel like I have wronged this woman. She has an obvious chip on her shoulder. She pushes your child in the swing, but doesn't talk to her. She is very mechanical in her actions. She removes the child from the swing the same way she takes the purse out. The nanny pushes a jeep stroller with a tan and brown protective shield and zip up netting. I have only ever seen this cover on, never off. She seems like such a cold and odd choice for a nanny. My suggestion is maybe you could follow her around for a day or set up a nanny camera. Even if you don't want to go all high tech, just leave your video camera on when you leave the house. I think then you will see what I see. I can't much describe the child. She has dark hair, but not much of it and I think her eyes are green.
Is this your nanny? She is a very strongly built- (not fat-not thin) African American woman who may have grown up in the south based on her slight accent. She has dark, dark hair and wears it in poodle balls tethered together. Usually wears jeans and sneaks. Today she had on a yellow shirt with cap sleeves and a grey sweatshirt tied around her waist. She takes care of a little girl who is about 9 months old. There are only two swings at the park for kids this age. She always puts her bulky brown leather bag in one of the swings. Twice I have had to ask her for the swing. She makes a huge deal about taking the bag out of the swing and heaving it over her shoulder. And the whole time I am standing there, uncomfortable. I feel like I have wronged this woman. She has an obvious chip on her shoulder. She pushes your child in the swing, but doesn't talk to her. She is very mechanical in her actions. She removes the child from the swing the same way she takes the purse out. The nanny pushes a jeep stroller with a tan and brown protective shield and zip up netting. I have only ever seen this cover on, never off. She seems like such a cold and odd choice for a nanny. My suggestion is maybe you could follow her around for a day or set up a nanny camera. Even if you don't want to go all high tech, just leave your video camera on when you leave the house. I think then you will see what I see. I can't much describe the child. She has dark hair, but not much of it and I think her eyes are green.
Don't Shoot the Messenger...
Received Tuesday, April 1, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
Employers,
Would you want to know if you were giving your nanny your children's very old but very expensive clothing and or furniture under the assumption that your nanny was using it or giving it to family but the nanny was actually selling it at a resale shop? This is not a matter of a few items, but large volume of things- soon to be larger still! And if you wanted to know, how would you want someone to alert you that this going on? Keep in mind, this overpaid nanny is not telling the employer she is selling these clothing and items for money.
Employers,
Would you want to know if you were giving your nanny your children's very old but very expensive clothing and or furniture under the assumption that your nanny was using it or giving it to family but the nanny was actually selling it at a resale shop? This is not a matter of a few items, but large volume of things- soon to be larger still! And if you wanted to know, how would you want someone to alert you that this going on? Keep in mind, this overpaid nanny is not telling the employer she is selling these clothing and items for money.
It feels like a smack in the face...
Tuesday, April 1, 2008-Rant
I am an at home daycare provider. I have 6 kids, most of which, 5 of them, have been with me over 2 years. I have been open for almost 2 and a half years. Last week I had a bit of a situation and just wanted others opinions. I took a day off last Tuesday to get some medical testing done. This is my SECOND day off in 2 and a half years. (I was closed for 3 days last winter when an ice storm knocked out our power, we went to a hotel because it was so cold in our home, so I don't consider that my fault, or my choice.) Anyway's, I gave 3 weeks notice. I would have given more but, the doctor pretty much was only available then. Out of the 6 families...5 never batted an eye. But one family, one I feel closest to, not only mentioned how un-convenient it was to them numerous times the week before the appointment, but also was the only family to dock my pay. All the other families said they were paying full price because I am all too reliable for them and they are thankful. And I did not expect any of them to do this, and I am not saying that the other family should have, but it feels like a smack in the face. Maybe more so because I always flex to take their child early as needed, for no change in pay. Their child is also asthmatic and I have to plan my day around her breathing treatments, which in all reality isn't the biggest of all deals, but certainly is more than what I have to do for my other kids. Considering I have to make sure her treatments are timely. Because I would do anything for any of my families , I just don't understand the grief of all the comments they made. I truly felt like sh#t for making them scramble for a sitter. I just want to know am I wrong to think that (money issue aside) the comments were ignorant on their part? It's been on my mind ever since. Thanks!
I am an at home daycare provider. I have 6 kids, most of which, 5 of them, have been with me over 2 years. I have been open for almost 2 and a half years. Last week I had a bit of a situation and just wanted others opinions. I took a day off last Tuesday to get some medical testing done. This is my SECOND day off in 2 and a half years. (I was closed for 3 days last winter when an ice storm knocked out our power, we went to a hotel because it was so cold in our home, so I don't consider that my fault, or my choice.) Anyway's, I gave 3 weeks notice. I would have given more but, the doctor pretty much was only available then. Out of the 6 families...5 never batted an eye. But one family, one I feel closest to, not only mentioned how un-convenient it was to them numerous times the week before the appointment, but also was the only family to dock my pay. All the other families said they were paying full price because I am all too reliable for them and they are thankful. And I did not expect any of them to do this, and I am not saying that the other family should have, but it feels like a smack in the face. Maybe more so because I always flex to take their child early as needed, for no change in pay. Their child is also asthmatic and I have to plan my day around her breathing treatments, which in all reality isn't the biggest of all deals, but certainly is more than what I have to do for my other kids. Considering I have to make sure her treatments are timely. Because I would do anything for any of my families , I just don't understand the grief of all the comments they made. I truly felt like sh#t for making them scramble for a sitter. I just want to know am I wrong to think that (money issue aside) the comments were ignorant on their part? It's been on my mind ever since. Thanks!
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