Children's Museum of Manhattan in NY

Received Friday, March 21, 2008
Where: Children's Museum of Manhattan
When: 3/20-Thursday mid day
Who: Puerto Rican nanny and her two year old Caucasian Charge.
What: In a museum full of things to do with the children, this nanny parked her child in a pretend bus that sits in one of the corridors so she could stand beside it and talk on her cell phone. Every time I passed by the area, that poor child just sat there so her nanny could be talking on the cell phone. I am most definitely sure by the nanny's tone that this was neither the child's mother nor an emergency call. This little girl just looked sad.
Description of the child: Red Cardigan, print leggings, page boy styled hair cut, medium brown, about 2, maybe 3 y.o.
Desciption of the nanny: Puerto Rican, thick curly brown hair, attractive, thin, lots of make-up, tight fitting denim jeans and skin tight shirt.
Sad Fact: This parent was probably overjoyed at the fact that her daughter was having such a fun outing with her nanny. And she probably won't be able to communicate that she was for all intents and purposes, just parked in one spot the whole time. I think this child deserves better!

Douglas Park Playground in Leesburg, Virginia

Received Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Monday March 17th at 4:00 PM. Douglas Park Playground.

Spanish speaking au pair with two kids, one named Marin (maybe around 4-5) and one named Alex (2-ish). Saw her completely ignore the children while she talked with and hung out with another au pair. Although the playground is fenced in, it is quite large and she sat at one end on a picnic table with back to children with them often out of sight. The little girl was climbing around the play equipment at several times fell hard enough to start crying. The two year old boy was often ignored in the swings or other equipment. She had copper/brown colored dyed hair color and was wearing a white t-shirt and jeans.

The other au pair was also speaking Spanish and had one child, maybe 2.5-3 years old.

Pay Your Nanny!

Received Wednesday, March 19, 2008-Rant
I am writing this in hopes that the involved family sees this. I am the mother of a little boy with developmental delays. I check here often only because he can not tell us if something is wrong. I love our current nanny and don't think she would ever harm my child. We live in the Dundee area in Omaha, NE. My son loves to go for walks in the park. We often see the nanny of another family in the neighborhood with her charges. They are an adorable set of twins. We were in Memorial Park and the little boy asked the nanny if they could go get ice cream. Now it is the middle of winter, so a plain no would not have surprised me. The nanny just said "X, mommy hasn't paid me in a long time, so we don't have money for ice cream." Being my usual self, I said "Your boss hasn't paid you?" She said no, but the boss usually pays up after a month or two if she bugs them enough. She went on to say it is hard to find jobs where you get along with the parents and that she wouldn't get a good reference if she complained about this family. That would make it hard for her to find another job with her being Hispanic and all. I am APPALLED that any family in our neighborhood would treat their nanny this way! We live in an upper class neighborhood where finances should not be a huge issue. I would hate to be a nanny stealer, but I would gladly have this woman watch my son and I would never treat her this way! This woman takes excellent care of these kids. She interacts with them, plays with them, talks to them, shows them affection and always keeps an eye on them. The children adore her, so I am pretty sure this is not an act. I have to say SHAME on these parents!

Underdressed Children...

Received Wednesday, March 19, 2008-Rant
What I really want to know is why when it is 36 degrees outside and your child has a death rattle of a cough and a snotty nose he/she is not wearing a coat, mittens or hat???!!!!
I was at the post office today and saw a little girl of 5 or so with her mother. She only had on a velour sweat suit with a zip up hoodie! She was coughing and sniffling! No hat, no gloves/mittens/no winter coat! Today's high was around 40 but felt much much colder. It was her MOTHER with her! I then went to the market and saw the same thing with a little boy. He again was with his mother and coughing with a deep chest cough and was wearing no coat only a long sleeve shirt. Even if you're only going from the house to the car and from car to your destination it's still COLD and a child who is sick can get chilled so easily. The boy in the market was shivering in the cart.
I don't know about anyone else but as a caregiver this infuriates me.

Gym Class in NY (edited)

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Update 4/14/08
As the mother of these children, I investigated the situation and found from the "gym class" that there was no wrongdoing by my nanny. I would appreciate the post being removed altogher; or at least a comment added that this situation was resolved. As the mother of these children, I investigated the situation and found from the "gym class" that there was no wrongdoing by my nanny.

(This post will be deleted at midnight tonight and no record of it will remain on the blog. This is per the parent's request. Despite the fact that no pertinent information remains, she is requesting that it be deleted. With respect to the poll above, 100 % of the votes that came in over the past 36 hours were to remove the post as were 100% of the votes from Long Island. )

Update
Received Thursday, April 10, 2008
as the mother of these children i am disappointed that the person who witnessed this did not try to contact me instead of posting my child's name and the story on the internet. my nanny has been with me almost 3 years and i have had nothing but positive comments regarding her care for my children. as the mother of these children i would appreciate the post being removed. i do not appreciate my child's name appearing along with the story.

Received Wednesday, March 19, 2008
On Tuesday, March 18 in ***NY*** at the ***** for the ****Gym Class*** class at **** I witnessed a nanny do something that made me want to call the child's mother. The nanny was a large AA woman wearing a pink sweater with a vest over it and she had 2 children with her - one was about 2-2 1/2 (I think her name was *name removed 4/10*) and the other was about 6 mos. In the beginning of the class there's a song circle time, then the teacher has the kids run over to a large rectangular blow-up trampoline, lay down on it when its deflated, then the teacher inflates it and the kids all jump. The nanny put the 6 mos. old on the trampoline with all the other 2-3 year olds. She sorta thumped the baby's head on the floor when she did it, too. So the trampoline inflates and she lets the baby lay there while 2-3 year olds jump around her. I put my arm out to block other kids from falling on her and a mother told the nanny that the baby could get hurt at which point she picked up the baby. I chalked it up to a lapse in judgement, but then she put the baby on the big round traditional-style trampoline and let kids jump around the baby again. Once again someone told her that the baby could get hurt. At the end of class, there's parachute time and all the kids sit on the parachute and we pull the parachute around to the wheels on the bus song and she put the baby on the parachute for this too. It was infuriating to watch this nanny put this baby in a situation over and over again where there's the great likelihood of an accident despite the fact that she had been told many times that the baby could get hurt. I've seen this nanny in class many times before and she's never done anything like this before.

Nanny's Gas Dilemma...

Received Monday, March 17, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I need some advice from other nannies who have been in similar situations, or parents. Ok, so when I started my current nanny job for 2 school aged children a year and a half ago, there was no driving involved. Well, 9 months ago their school location changed and I had to start picking them up in my vehicle from school and drive them home. I also take the kids in my vehicle to do light grocery shopping, pick up prescriptions, take them to birthday parties, play dates, etc. This does not bother me, as when my driving was first needed, we agreed on a weekly amount of money for gas. This was a set amount. Now, 9 months later, not only have gas prices skyrocketed, but I also got a new vehicle (my old one was having major issues) and my new vehicle is a SUV that isn't exactly gas friendly or economical. I realize this was my choice to purchase the vehicle (not entirely, because my husband just purchased it so we could have a larger family vehicle) but anyways I'm just wondering do I have the right to ask the parents for more gas money now? Neither of us want to calculate by the mile I drive or have it be some huge math problem at the end of every week when it's payday. I'd like to still have a set amount for each week. Is it fair to ask for more just because of the gas prices? Is it fair to ask for more because my vehicle requires more money for gas? Please help me! I'm a fair, reasonable, and loving nanny who just doesn't want to be taken advantage of.

Use Caution When Interviewing "Kate"

Received Monday, March 17, 2008-Rants and Warnings

For anyone hiring a nanny in NYC:
Warning if you interview a young Polish woman named Kate. Attractive, Blonde, mid 20's, well experienced.We hired her with very clear terms 3 weeks ago and she quit after 2 days because her fiance didn't want her to work late hours (although she agreed on the terms weeks before starting work). She explained that he did not want her to work in this manner and that she needed to quit. Needless to say that her peronal matter in not our business except that she was irresponsible to take the job( & we replaced another nanny with her)without discussing terms with her controlling boyfriend. Her description of her peronal situation made me believe she was in a controlling, perhaps abusive situation. We nor does anybody need to expose their children to exposure to unstable, potentially dangerous crazy boyfriends.

Books on the Square- East Side of Providence, RI

Received Monday, March 17, 2008-Possible Update
I was in the Wayland Sq Starbucks today and believe that I saw this same nanny. She had 3 little kids with her this time though, 2 girls and a boy. She was paying no attention to the kids and often walked away from the table leaving them with sad and bored little faces. I guess that Im not reporting anything ground breaking her but I figure that if the parents see these posts they may rethink things.

Received Wednesday, October 25, 2006
Au pair: Short, thin, long dark hair, Asian
Children: approx. 18 month-old girl and 9 month-old girl.
This happened a few weeks ago, but I never knew of this web site and wasn't sure what to do with what I witnessed. The au pair arrived with a double jogging stroller with both girls in it for story time. They were a little early. The au pair then took the older girl out of the stroller and left the store!! There was plenty of people around waiting for story time to start, and she could have easily asked any of us to watch the little girl while she ran out. She didn't say anything to anyone in the store, and left the baby in the stroller while she went next door to CVS with the older girl. After about five minutes the baby started fussing. About five minutes after that the au pair returned with the 18 month-old and a bag of cookies from CVS. It is completely unacceptable to leave that child in the store alone. On other occasions I have seen the au pair hit the 18 month-old's hand, hard enough to make her cry. The au pair has also picked up the baby's pacifier off the floor and given it back to the baby without washing it off. She has also let the 18 month-old drink a friend's Starbucks frozen drink, which young children should not be drinking. There is a group of au pairs that go to story time together and sit and chat the entire time, and hardly pay attention to these poor children. I have never seen parents with these girls. Only the au pair. I have seen her at the park as well as at story time on many different occasions, usually chatting with her friends and not paying attention to the children.

Westlake Village, CA

Received Monday, March 17, 2008-Rants and Warnings

Convicted Pedophile in Westlake Village
In the Police Department's efforts to keep our children safe, the following alert has been issued. Please be aware that there is a Registered Sex Offender who is frequenting the City of Thousand Oaks. The offender is not currently breaking any laws, however, his behavior is causing concern. The subject, Kevin Perry, is living in his van. He has been frequenting various parking lots in the area. He has a poster in his van that reads, "$1 to talk to a real-life pedophile," and "I am a kind loving human." In the event that you come into contact with Mr. Perry, please contact the police. If you observe Mr. Perry behaving in any way that causes concern, please call the police department immediately. When contacting the police, please indicate that he is a known sex offender. Tell the dispatcher what he is doing, his location, and description as well as any information regarding anyone seen with Mr. Perry. Ventura County Sheriff's Dispatch: 805.654.9511

Child Missing FOUND
Justin Pyorala has been missing since 4pm last week. He is 14 but looks more like 12. He is thin build about 5 feet tall with brown hair and brown eyes. He was last seen with his guitar in a white guitar case and amp. He has been having difficulties with his dad. He told his friends at school that he was hitch hiking to Mexico . They think he might have met someone on MySpace or YouTube. The police are obviously involved but it is not moving fast enough and is very frustrating. His friends have all been interviewed. He goes to Alemany High School in Mission Hills and lives in Northridge. They won't do an Amber alert because he was not seen being abducted. Any leads , call 818-384-9454.

These alerts come by way of Jen.

Clark Field in Washington Township, NJ

Received Monday, March 17, 2008
Sometime between 12:30-1:00 today, (3/17), I saw a nanny, a large AA nanny with a grey sweatshirt and blue jeans, short hair that had been professionally 'set' playing with a child who was between 12-20 months. The nanny was sitting on the bench facing the playground, speaking with another nanny who was watching at least 1, but maybe 2 older children. The nanny seemed just fine, but for when she was playing with the child, and I know this could happen to anyone, but it was scary. The nanny was holding the child up on her shoulders, and over her back upside down. Keep in mind, I realize she was playing with the child, fully engaged and what I saw made me smile, until the nanny dropped the child onto the dirt. The nanny got up, ran around behind the bench and picked up the child who was crying a blue streak. Some of us rushed over to help her and the nanny turned rude. She was obviously upset with herself that she let that happen, but she was immediately assuring everyone the child, (a white female, dark blue cords, with brown shoes, Mary Jane style with a flower cut out and yellow socks) was okay before she could even accurately see if she was. We offered help and to call someone for her. She assured us that she was fine, loaded the child up in a lightweight push stroller that was very plain looking and near solid taupe in color. I can vouch this was an accident. I can vouch that the nanny was chatting with her friend, but the whole time engaging the child, pointing at things, speaking gibberish to her. It was a fluke and an accident that she fell and I, along with some of the other mothers were just worried that she might not tell her employers.

Wage & Benefits in Florida...

Received Sunday, March 16, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Hello all! I've got a question about wages/benefits.

A bit of background, I'm currently working for a wonderful family here in Tallahassee, FL. I have a 23 month old charge, C, and I work from around 8 to 6 M-F. I've been on the job a bit over 6 months, and while I love it more and more every day, I recently had an encounter with another nanny here in town and the discussion got heated when the subject of wages came up. Mostly, she became upset when I told her what I made weekly and then demanded that I ask for a raise immediately.

I don't work on the books, I prefer it that way for the time being. No health care or mileage reimbursement or car insurance co-pay. I've done a ton of Internet reading but I don't know vary many other nannies personally. Are these things normal? Currently, I'm making 350 a week.

I'm 22, I worked as a teacher's assistant for a year at a pre-school, and I have large amounts of babysitting experience (7+ years), as well as being CPR and first aid trained. I've also taken state required courses in child care and development. However, this is my first job as a nanny.

I'm beginning to feel like I should be making more. I feel I'm worth more. I have a great relationship with C, and a good relationship with his parents. I don't know what a more appropriate salary would look like, and I have no idea how to even go about asking for one.

I would love to hear some advice from other nannies as well as employers - tips on how to ask, what to ask for, etc.

Charge with Chickenpox--Advice needed!

Received Sunday, March 16, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Hi everyone. Please forgive me, as this is not a nanny sighting, but I do need some advice ASAP and I truly enjoy reading all the advice/comments given on this sight, so I am hoping someone can help me! My seven year old charge has the chickenpox. She is still contagious as she is getting new spots ever day, and many have not "broken" yet. I have never had the chickenpox, and am 23 years old. From what I have read, chickenpox for adults is much worse than for children, so I do not want to contract them! My problem is this: I am a live-in aupair in Europe. My "host parents" have said that the little girl will be staying home from school the whole week, and I am supposed to stay with her. Under normal circumstances, I would not mind watching her while she is sick. But, to me, this is a bit more serious. Would I be out of line if I (not refused outright), but politely said that I do not feel comfortable doing this? Especially since both of her parents have already had the chickenpox. Thank you very much! I appreciate any response given!

Near Shepton HS and Huffman Elementary in West Plano, TX

Received Saturday, March 15, 2008
On Friday March 14th 2008 around 12:00 pm I witnessed a nanny that makes the rest of us Nannies look horrid. I was at the park near Shepton HS and Huffman Elementary,off Plano parkway in West Plano TX, with my charge when I saw a little girl all alone on the playground. The girl had blonde hair and was wearing red pants and pink Crocs. There were teenagers swinging nearby but I knew she didn't belong to them off to the other side of the park about 100-200 ft. there was a young Hispanic woman wearing a gray sweatshirt and an older Hispanic man that when it dawned on me that the little girl must be this woman's charge. My biggest problem was that this woman wasn't paying attention to her charge and the little girl was only about 1. You cannot leave your charge alone like that that's horrible and irresponsible.

Waterfront Movie Theatre in Port Chester, NY

Received Saturday, March 15, 2008
Hi, I was at the movie theatre in Port Chester and I saw a strange nanny. She had two children with her, they were about 1 and 3. The 3 year old was there and kind of focused on the movie. The one year old has a binky in his mouth and was climbing the steps and crying and talking and whining and distracting the crowd from the enjoyment of Dr. Suess's Whorton's Who. The child was very nearly in peril messing around on the steps and the nanny looked hungover. She was wearing a sleeveless winter jacket vest and Coach logo rain boots. All parties were white. The boots should help you identify the nanny. This was the 12:00 PM showing on Sat, 3/15.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Another Nanny Caught on Tape


Spare the Rod?
Spanking may lead to aggression and sexual problems later in life, says a new study. So why do so many parents still believe in it? (Read Newsweek article here.)

Charges dropped for mom who left tot in car
Child endangerment case stirred outrage, but police stand by the arrest. (Read MSNBC article here.)

That Parental Bond May be all in Your Head
The parental bond may be all in the mind, according to a study published on Wednesday that pinpoints a possible region of the brain key to an instinctive desire to care for and nurture infants. (Read the Reuters article here.)

Confessions of a Nanny-by Jonathon Bender

Potty Problems

Received Thursday, March 13, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
Hey guys. I, (jerseyxjacqui) actually have a question...

I have been potty training my charge for about 3 weeks now (she turned 2 at the end of December)...she's doing a great job with me and just recently started informing me when she has to go, as opposed to me just saying, "OK IT'S POTTY TIME!"

The problem is, she won't go for mommy and daddy. Hasn't done it ONCE and almost seems traumatized when they bring the potty up.
I know they're not pushing her too hard and I know they're definitely not making potty time traumatizing in anyway...in other words, we're all on the same page regarding how we approach the training.
We have made it a fun routine for her...we read a "potty book" and play a little quiet game where we listen closely to hear the pee-pee in the potty. She loves it and I think the repetition is good...When she DOES do pee-pees she gets one M&M as a treat (she doesn't eat ANY junk or candy throughout the day so it truly IS a treat for her). We decorated a little tupperware container for her POTTY M&Ms with stickers and crayons so she had something special to go to each time she uses the potty.
It's working great..ONLY FOR ME though!

I understand the caregiver/charge vs parent/child dynamics are completely different and often times the way the child acts with each is completely paradoxical...still though, I don't want her to become a potty expert with me and only me, especially considering mommy is going to have a baby in a few months.

Her parents are great and like I said, we're all on the same page with the potty training...Does anyone have any suggestions for us? We don't want to have to stretch out the process, for HER sake or make it at all stressful for her.

3/14/08
Not advice, but your post reminded how all of the lovely kids I was lucky enough to have in my life have so loved this video. But be warned, you will never get the lyrics out of your head!-JD

From bad to worse....

Received Friday, March 14, 2008-My Story
Two weeks ago today I had a miscarriage. I have been working as a loyal, over-achieving nanny with my current family for 13 months. As of last night I've been 'let go' because I am not my 100% perky/positive self.

Starbucks in Shorewood, WI

Received Friday, March 14, 2008
Where: Shorewood, WI Starbucks on the corner of Oakland and Olive
Time: 3ish on Thursday, 3/13
Caregiver: 20's, brown hair, black fleece, brown Coach shoes, jeans, Coach key chain and tan leather wallet drives an older, 4 door black Nissan Altima or Maxima.
What happened: She left two kids, both in car seats with winter hats on, in the back seat of her car while she went in and got herself a coffee. I had my 2 charges with me but did not say anything because I didn't notice the kids until we both walked out.

(Another) Nanny Stuck in the Middle of a Parent's Divorce

Received Thursday, March 13, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I'll try to make this as short as possible. I need help on how to quit my current situation and how much notice is required/customary. This situation certainly isn't normal so I'm unsure of how to end it.

I'm a Live-Out Nanny/Household Manager for a family with four school aged children, making roughly between $11-$15 hourly. I've been with the family for almost two and a half years now, but it has become increasingly apparent that this relationship needs to end. You see, when I started the family was your typical nuclear, filthy rich, but surprisingly liberal family. They were desperate for a nanny as their last nanny had quit with no notice (should have been a clue, huh?). I was a college student over five hours from home with only ten dollars in my pocket. So there were no reference, background, resume, or neglect checks. Just a "so you're free after this time, great show up Monday!" No contract, no discussion, just under the table stupidity. Things were good for the first 8 months, kids were rude and revolting a little but nothing more than typical kid stuff. The parents were very respectful of my scheduling needs and monetary compensation was terrific. Then I went on vacation with them, and everything fell apart. Parents were constantly fighting and screaming profanities in front of children. This started the divorce process. It has been an ugly battle for the past year and a half. I've been there for every minute of it. This public divorce has even been written about in the paper, causing humiliation for them and myself (since my name was used).

Since this divorce process started the kids have become absolutely defiant and violent. I have been stabbed, punched, kicked, bit, cussed out, given black eyes, etc. Parents are living in separate houses and I travel between houses with the kids. Parent A has become absolutely awful. Parent A doesn't pay on time, in full, or willingly. Parent A often cancels care at very last minute. My hours have diminished from 35+ a week to 3-5 with this parent who has custody 2/3 of the time. Parent A is constantly threatening termination (upon lawyer's advice), thinks I'm telling secrets to Parent B, sends text messages about everything at all hours, and allows children to behave in increasingly violent ways towards me. Parent A is the main reason I want to quit. Parent B however turned out to be a great person. Parent B pays on time, in full, constantly shows signs of appreciation, and does not allow kids to injure me. Unfortunately, I can't support myself on just Parent B's schedule so I have to quit both parents. I do have a job lined up with an agency, and am taking the necessary steps (including a contract). The kids are really in the middle of this mess, and although they literally beat me black and blue I still care for them. They are great kids when given the chance. I want to still be there for them emotionally, but I can't be there every day anymore. The situation is emotionally, physically, and financially draining. How can I quit without hurting the kids? Also do I have to give notice to Parent B but not Parent A? If so how much notice? Parent B has really stuck out his/her neck for me and I feel awful about quitting and leaving him/her without help. Any advice would be great!

Note: Parent A and Parent B was used because I really don't feel like exposing myself or them to anymore controversy.

Walmart in Secaucus, NJ

Received Wednesday, March 12, 2008
I Saw Your Grandmother
When/Where: About 9:30 AM Wal Mart Secaucus NJ

Grandmother: Short, plump, dyed red hair, green-rimmed glasses, black velour jogging suit.

Child: Short, curly brown hair, big brown eyes, wearing a blue Disney Princess Tee shirt and jeans. Dora sneakers about 4 years old. Sounded like she called the little girl Rinny? Winnie?

This child's grandmother was the most evil looking woman I have ever seen. She dragged the little girl behind her and pushed past me on her way in She told the little girl several times to "shut the hell up" I couldn't hear what the child was saying but she wasn't crying or whining. The grandmother proceeded to drag her around the store roughly and was annoyed anytime the child seemed to make a sound or lag to look at something. We parted ways and I didn't see them again until we were on line. I purposely got on line behind them to see who this woman was. I complimented the little girl, saying "She's so cute is that your grand-daughter?" The grandmother replied "Yeah and she's not that cute believe me." I didn't speak to her anymore but watched sadly as the child was again told to shut the hell up when she pointed to the Easter baskets. She didn't ask for one, just wanted "gammie" to look at them. I then gave this witch a nasty look and told her to smile a minute it wouldn't hurt. She replied "Easy for you to say, you ain't saddled with a kid all day while her parents work. I'll be glad when she gets better and is back at school!" I know kids can be trying and no child is a perfect angel, but this one never cried or whined that I saw. I also just could tell that this woman did not want to be anywhere near this child. I know it seems like an insignificant sighting, you had to be there to see the look of contempt on this woman's face every time she looked or spoke to this child to understand.