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Family Filches Fifty Cents From Flustered Nanny

The fabulous family that I've been with is moving. I found a new family to work with part time. The hours at first were 2:30-6:30/7pm, depending on being stuck in traffic. I met the whole family and told them my rate. To which the father said "it should be fine." Fast forward 3 weeks, I have been told that the hours are now 2:45-6:45 and the rate is now 50 cents less than what we had discussed. The difference per week is $6. Should I stand my ground or go with the flow? While I know it's not a huge cut, it's still the principle that I could use the extra $24 per month. I have plenty of experience to which my rate is fair for the area I live in. Plus, they have had a full-time nanny which means they have money to play with as I am only part-time. My feeling is, if they are making a big deal about 50 cents, what else will happen? Thank you! - ConfusedNanny

Genome of Extinct Human Reveals Brown-Eyed Girl

(LiveScience) - The genome of a recently discovered branch of extinct humans known as the Denisovans that once interbred with us has been sequenced, scientists said today (Aug 30).

Genetic analysis of the fossil revealed it apparently belonged to a little girl with dark skin, brown hair and brown eyes, researchers said. All in all, the scientists discovered about 100,000 recent changes in our genome that occurred after the split from the Denisovans. A number of these changes influence genes linked with brain function and nervous system development, leading to speculation that we may think differently from the Denisovans. Other changes are linked with the skin, eyes and teeth. "This research will help [in] determining how it was that modern human populations came to expand dramatically in size as well as cultural complexity, while archaic humans eventually dwindled in numbers and became physically extinct," said researcher Svante Paabo at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology in Leipzig, Germany. Future research may turn up other groups of extinct humans in Asia "in addition to Neanderthals and Denisovans," Paabo told LiveScience.

Although our species comprises the only humans left alive, our planet was once home to a variety of other human species. The Neanderthals were apparently our closest relatives, and the last of the other human lineages to vanish. [10 Mysteries of the First Humans] However, scientists recently revealed another group of extinct humans once lived at the same time as ours. DNA from fossils unearthed in Denisova Cave in southern Siberia in 2008 revealed a lineage unlike us and closely related to Neanderthals. The precise age of the Denisovan material remains uncertain -- anywhere from 30,000 to 80,000 years of age. "The Denisovan genome is particularly close to my heart, because it was the first time that a new group of extinct humans was discovered and defined just from DNA sequence evidence and not from the morphology of bones," Paabo said.

Denisovan genes unzipped
Now, based on only a tiny sample of genetic material from a finger bone, scientists have sequenced the complete genome of the Denisovans (pronounced deh-NEESE-so-vans), as they are now called. To make the most of what little genetic material they had, the researchers developed a technique that unzipped the double strands of DNA in the bone, doubling the amount of DNA they could analyze. This enabled them to sequence each position in the genome about 30 times over, generating an extremely thorough genome sequence. [See Photos of Denisovan Fossils] "We have very few errors in the sequences, even less errors than we often have when you sequence a person today," Paabo said. "With just a few technical reservations, there is actually today then no difference in what we can learn genetically about a person that lived 50,000 years ago and from a person today, provided that we have well-enough preserved bones."

Comparing the Denisovan genome with ours confirmed past research suggesting the extinct lineage once interbred with ours and lived in a vast range from Siberia to Southeast Asia. The Denisovans share more genes with people from Papua New Guinea than any other modern population studied. In addition, more Denisovan genetic variants were found in Asia and South America than in European populations. However, this likely reflects interbreeding between modern humans and the Denisovans' close relatives, the Neanderthals, rather than direct interbreeding with the Denisovans, researchers said.

Denisovans began to diverge from modern humans in terms of DNA sequences about 800,000 years ago. Among the genetic differences between Denisovans and modern humans are likely changes that "are essential for what made modern human history possible, the very rapid development of human technology and culture that allowed our species to become so numerous, spread around the whole world, and actually dominate large parts of the biosphere," Paabo said. Eight of these genetic changes have to do with brain function and brain development, "the connectivity in the brain of synapses between nerve cells function, and some of them have to do with genes that, for example, can cause autism when these genes are mutated," Paabo added.

What makes humans special?
It makes a lot of sense to speculate that what makes us special in the world relative to the Denisovans and Neanderthals "is about connectivity in the brain," Paabo said. "Neanderthals had just as large brains as modern humans had -- relative to body size, they even had a bit larger brains. Yet there is, of course, something special in my mind that happens with modern humans. It's sort of this extremely rapid technological cultural development that comes, large societal systems, and so on. So it makes sense that, well, what pops up is sort of connectivity in the brain." The fact that differences are seen between modern humans and Denisovans in terms of autism-linked genes is especially interesting, because whole books have been written "suggesting that autism may affect sort of a trait in human cognition that is also crucial for modern humans, for how we put ourselves in the shoes of others, manipulate others, lie, develop politics and big societies and so on," Paabo said.

The genetic diversity suggested by this Denisovan sample was apparently quite low. This was probably not due to inbreeding, the researchers say -- rather, their vast range suggests their population was initially quite small but grew quickly, without time for genetic diversity to increase as well. "If future research of the Neanderthal genome shows that their population size changed over time in similar ways, it may well be that a single population expanding out of Africa gave rise to both the Denisovans and the Neanderthals," Paabo said.

Intriguingly, comparing the X chromosome, which is passed down by females, to the rest of the genome, which is passed down equally in males and females, revealed "there is substantially less Denisovan genetic material in New Guinea on the X chromosome than there is on the rest of the genome," researcher David Reich at Harvard Medical School in Boston told LiveScience. One possible explanation "is that the Denisovan gene flow into modern humans was mediated primarily by male Denisovans mixing with female modern humans," Reich said. "Another possible explanation is that actually there was natural selection to remove genetic material on the X chromosome that came from Denisovans once that entered the modern human population, perhaps because it caused problems for the people who carried it."

These current Denisovan findings have allowed the researchers to re-evaluate past analysis of the Neanderthal genome. They discovered modern humans in the eastern parts of Eurasia and Native Americans actually carry more Neanderthal genetic material than people in Europe, "even though the Neanderthals mostly lived in Europe, which is really, really interesting," Reich said. The researchers would now like to upgrade the Neanderthal genome to the quality seen with the Denisovan genome. The genetic techniques they used could also be employed in forensic investigations, and in analyzing other fossil DNA, said researcher Matthias Meyer, also at the Max Planck Institute for Evolutionary Anthropology.
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Article originally Published in the Journal Science. Submitted by Village. Thank you!

Roosevelt Island Tram Square - NYC

Today I watched this nanny sit in Roosevelt Island Tram Square on 2nd ave between 59th st and 69th st. for almost 3 hours. Between 1230 and 330pm. She was "watching" a 3 year old boy, who against his obvious wishes, she kept in the stroller the entire time. What makes this a sad sighting is the fact that this is one of the busiest traffic locations in NYC. It sits at the entryway to the 59th street Queensboro bridge. There is constant horn blowing, loud trucks, motorcycles and other insanely loud vehicles all around this location. In addition, the smog from these vehicles is barely tolerable, even for an adult. Whats worse is the the fact that there is a beautiful park along the easy river just two avenue blocks away. Its not far, but it's far enough to escape the air and noise pollution. Moreover, this child could have been playing on the playground or in the sprinkler, instead of being confined to a stroller. It was a very sad sight to see and I hope the parents find this and fire this poor excuse for a nanny.

Send your nanny sighting to isynblog@gmail.com. 

#nannysighting #isyn #isynblog #isawyournanny #goodnanny

Moody Nanny

I am at my wits end and could really use some advice. I work from home and my husband and I split our time between London, Argentina and New York for his work. Because we move from house to house every three months, and because I work from home, I have a live-in nanny for my 11 month old daughter. She has been with us for 5 months and she is fabulous on many, many, levels. I trust her with my daughter completely. I tell her that all the time. I am a first time mom and I have learned an enormous amount from her. I have tried to educate myself to see things from the nanny's perspective, as living with a family is hard, particularly with a SAHM (which is why I love this site). She has an extremely generous salary, 6 paid weeks of vacation a year, bank holidays off, health insurance and taxes taken care of...she is Spanish and very close to her family so I encourage her to go home for long weekends outside of her paid vacation so she can get a break (and I love my baby and like to be with her, I just need a nanny as I have to work!) I completely respect her when she is with the baby and don't go in and bother them, and I back her up on any kind of discipline. None of which is too hard as we are often on the same page!

Here's the problem: as I said, she is Spanish and English is her second language. I really don't think she understands a lot of what I say and this has caused huge problems! For example, I often take the baby for a few hours in the afternoon. Technically, M works from 7 am - 6 pm but I know it can be exhausting and I LIKE spending time with my child. So I often take her for a few hours for a playdate or to the park or just to play with me alone in my room. I once found M crying and was very concerned, I thought maybe something had happened to her...she said she thought I thought she wasn't doing a good job, and maybe I should find another nanny! I was horrified and told her I loved her and that sometimes I take the baby to give her a break and because I enjoy spending time with DD. I thought the situation was sorted out but every time I take DD my nanny sulks for about 24 hrs after! I cannot understand it! And it has gotten to the point where I hate the negative energy coming from her and seeing her sulk so I just wait for her days off to spend time with DD. My friends say this isn't normal. But it gets worse.

Once a month - like a CLOCK - not only does she get into a horrible mood but she tries to pick a fight with me and my husband. Example (this is just one of many): we had a dinner party (very rare for us as I am not social and don't often have people over!) I was cooking and some guests were in my kitchen, but we were going to sit down in the dining room. I told the nanny to cook her dinner whenever she wanted: she certainly didn't have to wait until everyone left which would have been very late! She said, oh there are too many people downstairs. I told her I would prepare her a plate and leave it for her. I left the plate out, I told her it was there, we had dinner in dining room, I cleaned up kitchen, plate was still there. By now it was midnight and I didn't want to disturb her as her lights were out. The next day she was in a FOUL mood - so bad that even my husband noticed. We were both concerned and went to ask her what was wrong. She flipped out and yelled at us that she had never been treated so badly by a family, that she didn't eat dinner, that we were 'mean and horrible people'. This is not the first time she has said that. Another time when she was in a bad mood and I asked if everything was ok she told me I was a mean person because of my tone of voice (?) and that I was a bad mother because I didn't spend enough time with my baby. Well I burst into tears - it was so hurtful! I tried to explain that I want to spend time with the baby but I had toned it down when she was working because she made such a big deal about me taking the baby. She just kept saying I was evil (!)

When my husband got home I told him what she said - we all sat down the next day and I tried to explain that she had REALLY hurt my feelings when all I had done was ask if SHE was ok. I asked her to apologise. She refused and said 'this is what I think'. I couldn't believe it. I got pretty angry then and asked if she was trying to get fired or if she wanted to quit. She said no. I again asked for an apology, I told her 'at least say your sorry for hurting my feelings'. She finally did so. It was like dealing with a toddler. Why haven't I fired her? She is AMAZING as a nanny. She would throw herself in front of a bus for my child. I completely trust her judgement. My child adores her. She has taught my child so many things..she is clean, discreet, trustworthy..I have heard so many horror stories that I don't know if I should put up with this behaviour (which literally happens once a month..there have been 5 incidents since she started working 5 months ago). Or do I take back my self-respect and move on? I am really open to suggestions! I have tried talking to her in the times between the moody periods and she just gets defensive and acts as if I am criticising her job performance - which I absolutely am not. It's just how she treats me sometimes, and my husband! - Anonymous

Unruly Youngster Rules the Roost

Hi! This is my first time posting to the site (which I love so much!), so my apologies if I'm doing this incorrectly. Should I Stay or Should I Go? I have been a Nanny for an amazing family with two boys ages 5 and 2 1/2. I have been working for this family for almost a year now and everything is great ... some what. I have an amazing salary and great benefits, but my days have turned very long and stressful.

My problem is M.B and D.B and their manipulative 5 year old who rules the roost. We all have a great relationship and I have very open communication with M.B but lately I am at my wits end. The 5 year old "R" has been throwing me under the bus the past few weeks in front of his parents and telling them I haven't taken him certain places, bought him things etc. M.B doesn't usually pay to much attention to him when he does this but the past few days she has made comments to me about "R" complaining about how I dress him. She questioned me about how I dressed him the other day and then makes me look like the bad guy in front of a 5 year old and I am left feeling like they don't have enough trust in me to even dress a child.

I am also frequently asked where missing toys are and why I put certain toys away. Both M.B and D.B are extremely busy working professionals and they have hovered over me in the past. I believe they will try anything to be apart of the boys day and are somewhat "jealous" that I get to spend all day with their sons/do many fun activities. We have had several discussions about how they need to let go of the reigns and stop with the constant phone calls checking on the kids but the last few weeks I've left work crying, miserable and then in a crabby mood the next morning on my way into work. I'm sorry if I am rambling but I am struggling with whether I should leave my job or not. I use to love my job/family but now I am just flat out done and I need some advice.. do I tell M.B that I cant handle their 5 year old who is manipulative who throws me under the bus on a daily basis or do I just give my notice and move on? I love reading this blog and I know there are some great nannies out there who have probably been in similar situations. Thank You! - Anonymous

From Bad to Better

From Bad to Better, and it only took 2 years! I have been a nanny off and on for the last 5 years. I took my first nanny job during my second semester of college. I had been babysitting since the age of 13, and at this point, I had taken 3 Child Development classes as well as volunteered at a local Day Care Center. I used Care.com and Sittercity.com to find a nanny job. I had posted my profile with background and driving checks on file. I had received numerous responses and answers to all of the jobs that I had applied to, and thought things were going great. I narrowed the replies down to 3 families that I thought were offering the perfect gigs.

Family 1: A work at home mom and a dad who worked outside of the home about 60-70 hours a week. They had one 8 month old son. They needed someone to come Monday-Thursday from 8:30am-5:30pm. They were offering $11 an hour with 4 paid sick days a year, and 2 weeks paid vacation a year (one week of my choice, and one week of theirs). They lived in a safe neighborhood within walking distance to a local library, local Park, Gymboree, Toddler Play Center, and a Children’s Museum. Family 2: Mom and Dad both worked outside of the home. They had one 4 and a half month old daughter. They needed someone Monday-Friday 9am-5pm. They were offering $12 an hour, no paid sick days, one week paid vacation. They lived in the same neighborhood as I, probably only 5 miles away from me. They were offering to buy the nanny a membership to the local Zoo, the local Gymboree, and the local YMCA. Family 3: Mom worked outside of the home while dad worked in a home office and traveled about 15 days of every month. They had a 6 month old daughter. They needed someone Tuesday-Saturday from 7am-4pm. They were offering $11 an hour, 3 weeks paid sick days/vacation days a year, and lived in the same neighborhood as Family #1.

I chose to work with Family 3, mainly because I felt as though I had really connected with not only the parents, but also the baby. They were offering what I was asking, and the schedule seemed to really work for me. I started the job, and everything went great…for about the first month. At the beginning of month two, dad began traveling more, and mom’s job was becoming more demanding. They asked if I’d be interested in becoming a live in, and I agreed upon the agreement of an increase in pay. I moved in the following week, and my pay had increased to $14 an hour. Mom started working 12 hour days, and we saw dad about a week every month. I became very connected to the child, and it was almost as though I was a parent to this baby as her actual parents were rarely around. It wasn’t long until I was responsible for this baby during every moment she was awake. Weekends and weekdays started to blend, and I was feeling trapped. I dropped all of my classes that semester, and it got to the point where I was never away from the baby. About 11 months into the job, it had become too much. I needed space, I needed me time, I just needed to get out.

After a week of finding the time, I was finally able to sit down with the mother and father. I expressed my concerns, and they had told me they agreed. They also chose this time to tell me that they were expecting their second child. (How they found the time, I will never know!) They told me that they felt as though I wasn’t a good match for their family. I was shocked, devastated, angry. I wasn’t a match for their child? I was with her every second of every day. I loved her as though she was my own. I couldn’t imagine not seeing her everyday. While I was the one to start the conversation, I didn’t expect to take such a shocking turn. They let me know that they would only need me for one more week. MB’s parents had decided to move in with them and help raise their grandchildren. Parents and I had agreed that I would still be able to see the little girl, and I accepted it. I worked the following week, and received my final paycheck. I wasn’t given a thank you for time/services, I wasn’t given any sort of bonus, I wasn’t even told goodbye by the parents.

I tried to contact the family numerous times that following month, and still to this day have never heard back from them. I felt like I had lost a part of me. I miss that little girl so much, still to this day. Since I left that job, I have been working as an Infant/Toddler Class instructor at many local Recreation Centers. I taught classes such as Baby Sign, Music and Movement, Baby Yoga, Focus and Flexibility, Mommy and Me, Ballerina Babies, and a few others. I did this job for about a year, before I decided to go back to school. Upon reaching the decision to go back to school, I decided to go back to a career as a Nanny. I began the strenuous search for a job, interviewed with many families. This time around, I made my requests very clear, demanded the use of a contract, searched more for a family who practiced parenting styles similar to mine.

After 3 months of searching, I finally found the job that worked for me. I now work for a family with a 6 month old baby girl. The parents both work outside of the home. We have a mutual trusting relationship. We have a respect for each other and are working together every day to raise this amazing baby. I have no complaints over my new job. I have been here for 3 months now, and have not had a bad moment in this job. They have accepted me into their family. I work M-F 7am-3:30pm. I am invited to their weekly family game night. I occasionally babysit for them outside of my scheduled work hours. I get a month off every three months paid. After 2 years, I have found my happiness. - Anonymous

 Submitted by NannyKT
The Happy Nanny
I am a full time Nanny for a beautiful 5 month old baby girl. I absolutely love my job and couldn’t be happier with MB and DB. Both parents work outside of the home, and we have a great relationship. We have very similar teaching/parenting styles, and are very big on following a baby led schedule and hands on parenting approach to care giving. The day is spent following the babies cues, so this schedule is not very exact, but it is pretty close.

6:45 – Arrive at the house. Wash hands, and go greet mommy and baby. Usually at this time, they are finishing up the morning breast-feeding.
7:00 – Grab baby and go play in Nursery while Mom gets ready for work. Baby loves to lay on her tummy and ready books with me. We usually do this for 20-30 minutes.
7:30 – Change diaper, then we play some more. We do a lot of singing and storytelling. She is a big fan of Little Bunny FooFoo and This little piggy.
8:00 – Morning Nap (45 min-1 hour)
9:00 – Change diaper, eat breakfast. We home make all of babies food. It is stored in the freezer in ice cube trays, and then we thaw it with warm water. She’ll normally have a fruit and some rice cereal or oatmeal. 9:30 – Finish breakfast and get dressed for the day.
9:45 – Pack up the diaper bag and prepare the stroller for our morning walk to the library. Our local library has some sort of infant/toddler class every morning that is free, so we definitely take advantage of this almost every morning.
10:15 – Morning class starts. It’s a rotation of baby yoga, story time, baby sign, and music and movement. It is held in a grassy park right next to the library and is filled with other moms and nannies and their little ones. 11:00 – Class is over and we head home for a feeding and nap. She normally has about 4-6 ounces of breast milk before her nap.
11:15 – Put LO down in her crib, turn on music, and shut the blinds. She will probably sleep for an one to one and a half hours.
11:30 – Put load of LO’s laundry in the washing machine and wash dishes and bottles from the morning. 11:45 – Sit down to enjoy lunch while either reading or watching some TV.
12:00 – Go put load of laundry into the dryer.
12:15 – Greet a happy, cooing baby, and changer her diaper.
12:30 – Tummy time on the floor while playing with her favorite toys while she wakes up. She is usually pretty lethargic after waking up from naps.
1:00 – Eat lunch.
1:30 – Change diaper, and if we decide to do an afternoon outing, this is normally when we do it. There are so many local places that are baby friendly, and we do our best to take advantage of them. We love to meet up with some of our Nanny friends who have charges around the same age. Our babies love to play together.
2:30 – Return from afternoon outing and get ready for our afternoon nap. This nap is usually 45 minutes to an hour. I will spend this time catching up on some homework or if it is laundry day I will fold and put away LO’s clothes.
3:00-3:30 – Mommy returns from work and LO is usually still sleeping or is just waking up. We spend about 20-30 minutes going over daily logs, talking about days, and use this time to bring up any comments/questions/concerns.

Bringing Your Own Brood

I'm helping a friend research nanny options for her baby who is on the way. She had thought about either a nanny share or hiring a nanny who brought her own child or up to 2 children to cut down on the cost but still provide more one-on-one care than a childcare center or in-home daycare. Apparently she has had some good candidates with great experience who want to bring their own kid or kids, but they all charge around $15/hr. We live in Seattle, WA so $15/hr is a low average salary for an experienced nanny (within a few dollars/hour). Her thought (and mine too) was that the salary should be more like a nanny share salary...she was thinking she would pay more like in the $10/hr range since the baby would have at least one other kid being cared for at the same time.

What do you nannies think? I remember reading a discussion on this board a while back about whether or not a nanny with her own kids would ignore the charges, etc. and I don't think she's worried about that as an issue but doesn't feel like she should pay $15/hr for divided attention when she could pay just slightly more for one-on-one. I know we all have to make a living, but presumably the nanny doesn't have to pay for childcare if she brings her own child...so I'm a little confused as to the logic of only reducing the rate by ~2 dollars an hour to bring your own children along. - Anonymous

Kiddo Carpools

I'm wondering if there are any stories out there from nannies who have been in charge of transportation/carpools. I have been asked by one of my families about my comfort as a participant in a carpool and serving as the official pick up person for a couple of kiddos whose parents I do not know. It would benefit my family greatly, as they have a "trade" arrangement with others, saving them some trips themselves during the week. As their nanny, most of their responsibilities would fall to me.

The idea is that I will be picking up kids from two other families who do not pay me directly. There is no childcare involved, and I'm not asking for advice about $$. I'm asking for advice (based on real world knowledge) about liability in the case of an accident. Of course, I have good insurance (and excellent DMV record), but I still am not entirely comfortable transporting kids informally without a liability waiver. Have any of you written something related to this for families to sign? Does it even matter legally? Any horror stories? I know that many of you are not willing to use your own car, so no need to respond if that is your stance. THANK YOU! - Anonymous

MB and Baby #3

Hi. Anyone out there able to give advice... I am a nanny who just heard MB is pregnant with #3. I am unsure of a few things with the the third on its way. First being the car situation. I have a 2011 Kia sportage. It is technically a crossover. I don't know if three car seats will fit in my back seat seeing as the oldest will just be turning 4. What do families with a ft nanny do in this situation? Buy a third car that can fit 3 seats for whoever has the kids to use? Or does anyone know what brand of seats might possibly fit into my car (and their cars for that matter... they have cars that are not much bigger then mine)? Secondly, what is a reasonable amount to ask for in a pay increase for a third child? I will have a 4yo boy, 2yo boy, and a newborn. Anyone have a similar situation out there that could give me an idea of what they are being paid/paying their nanny for three little monkeys? - Anonymous

Midways Through the Year Raise

Is it ok to ask for a raise after 5.5 months of employment? If it is how would you go about doing so? As of right now my only duty is childcare. I'd be willing to take on additional chores to go along with the raise. I have looked for part time jobs, but none would fit with the hours I have with my current family. I've looked at non-nanny jobs as well  but the hours, wages, and my experience, wouldn't be enough to cover what I need covered. I do not want to quit this job, but unless I get a raise or part time job, I don't see another alternative. - Anonymous

Nanny Sightings Needed

PLEASE INCLUDE THESE DETAILS IN YOUR SUBMISSION:
* Physical description of nanny/caregiver
* Physical description of involved child/children
* Address or venue of observed incident
* Date and time of incident
* Description of what you witnessed
* Description of vehicle, bag, or stroller that may aid in identifying caregiver
YOUR SUBMISSIONS MAY BE:
* emailed to isawyournanny@aol.com
* Left as an ANONYMOUS comment to this post
* Left as an ANONYMOUS comment here
* (Your identity will be respected and withheld)
NOTE TO READERS:
* There is a ZERO TOLERANCE policy on personal attacks or flaming of those that send in Sightings!
* You may also send in Questions, Nanny/Employer Horror Stories, Rants/Raves, A Day in the Life, and CL-WTF... but please include the ad in your e-mail as they may be removed by the time I get to them!
* Don't forget to check out the ISYN Chatboard... if you ask a question and it is not answered by another Member in a timely fashion, please feel free to e-mail it for Publication on ISYN.
* For Submissions that are TIME SENSITIVE, please let me know in the Subject Line of your e-mail.
* ANONYMOUS COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED! Please remember to pick a Moniker! (a letter, a number, anything!)
* Oh yeah... one more thing: ANONYMOUS COMMENTS WILL BE DELETED!!!!

1) Live-in Nanny/Roommate - (Oregon) I need help Wed-Thurs-Fri, 6am-4pm and occasional Saturday evenings for date night. You will be caring for two children, 2 yrs and 4 yrs. In exchange I'm willing to pay for all utilities and your food (I have WIC and food stamps.) Your rent would only be $75/per wk. We live in a spacious 3BR apartment; you will have your own bedroom (the kids sleep in the same room) but will need to share the bathroom. No housekeeping duties but you MUST be neat and clean and be able to keep up after the kids. Please be CPR certified, and supply 3 references (1 personal, 2 business) and have a valid drivers license. Looking to hire within the next week. Thankyou for your interest!
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Submitted by Nadia. Thank you!

2) Nanny needed 5 days a week - (NY) Hello! I am looking for a nanny for my 2 daughters, ages 3 months and 3.5 years. Start date will be week of August 12th (flexible with start date). Hours will be approximately 7:00 to 5:15 (though sometimes shorter). First hour will be free time, as the girls are late sleepers! (You may use computer or exercise equipment, if wanted.) Pay will start at $50/day, with opportunity for increase. (Breakfast, lunch, and snacks will be provided too!) Please respond quickly if interested in meeting. 507-450-**** (Must be non-smoking and not allergic to cats) Thanks!
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Submitted by Porky Pig. Thank you!

3) Babysitter needed tomorrow night! - (Wisconsin) Hi, I am looking for a girl babysitter for my 5 month old son tomorrow night from 2:30pm-11pm. I will pay. Respond to this post if interested please! (:
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Submitted by MissDee. Thank you!

4) Nanny Needed - (Las Vegas) Hi! I am interviewing for an assistant nanny in my home. It will include light household duties and care of up to 3 children, including my own daughter. I have a nanny share arrangement with hours between 7am to 5pm and need help so I can run errands, etc. It will be mon-fri but I will only need you 3-4 hours each day and I will pay you personally. Please be flexible and able to start immediately. $20/day.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

5) Free room for a nanny - (Las Vegas) This is a non-sex offer, single mother with child is fine. Free room, cable tv and all free utilities in a six room house with a pool, for a live in nanny. Would perfer Spanish speaking but not a must. You also get food in trade for childcare three days a week, on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday till 4pm. Must be DDF, clean back ground and perfer a valid drivers licence. Please call for information, 702-443-****
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Submitted by slb3334. Thank you!

6) Looking for a Babysitter – 6 days a week - (Atlanta) Be local only. Really local. A few points before we start: My child is six months old. Male. I need you 6 days a week, every week. Including EVERY Saturday, 11 to 12 hours a day, all six days. I will only pay weekly, until I am sure you will last long enough. Then I will consider paying a lump sum once a month. I need someone permanent. Someone my child can learn to love and trust. You, essentially, will be the primary caretaker. English needs to be the primary language around my son. I can appreciate some Spanish, as his father and father’s side of the family speak Spanish as well as English. If you can not comply to ALL of those points, please do not apply. He is a very easy baby. Quiet. Hangs out by himself and plays. Enjoys floor time. Drinks milk as well as eats Gerber from a spoon. Will watch movies and loves to “talk” and laugh. I am in the car business. My job requires me to be there Monday-Saturday, from 10am-8pm. Saturdays are our busiest days, and I, at times, are there from 9am-9pm. But usually the same hours on Saturday as Monday-Friday. I understand that this is a lot to take in and manage. It’s been hard trying to find someone, believe me. Remember: Be Local! I can not say that enough. I do not have time to go an hour out of my way, before or after work. Please email me with comments and rates. Don’t try and knock me over the head with price. Someone told me $300 per week. I am in high dollar sales. I know what is too much. Thank you so much for your time and consideration. My son and I appreciate it.
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

Suitable Weekend Stipend

What is a decent rate for a weekend? I am a live-in nanny for a wonderful single mom and her elementary school-age autistic son. The mother travels for work and is typically gone anywhere between 2-5 full days per week, during which I am the only adult at home and the sole caretaker of her son. When I was hired, it was agreed upon that I do not work weekends and she is very considerate and professional about sticking to our contract. MB has a wedding coming up that she would like to attend and I'm wondering what a fair rate is for working from Friday 6am to Sunday at midnight. My currently salary is a base of $1000 (plus benefits), plus the following while she is on a business trip: $30 per morning school drop off, $50 per evening and $100 overnights, so for a 24 hour period she is gone on a weekday, I make $180. Because I will be working through my weekend, what's an appropriate rate to ask? - Anonymous

Greatest Gifts

My family has always been very generous with me and my favorite feature on ISYN is the Christmas Bonus every December. Seeing a post called "Nanniversary" got me curious: I just wanted to ask all the Nannies (and Parents!) what's the most generous gift you've ever received (or given to your Nanny), it doesn't matter what the occasion was! - nannysara

Father’s Age Linked to Risk of Autism and Schizophrenia

Older men are more likely than young ones to father a child who develops autism or schizophrenia, because of random mutations that become more numerous with advancing paternal age, scientists reported on Wednesday, in the first study to quantify the effect as it builds each year. The age of mothers had no bearing on the risk for these disorders, the study found.

Experts said that the finding was hardly reason to forgo fatherhood later in life, though it might have some influence on reproductive decisions. The overall risk to a man in his 40s or older is in the range of 2 percent, at most, and there are other contributing biological factors that are entirely unknown. But the study, published online in the journal Nature, provides support for the argument that the surging rate of autism diagnoses over recent decades is attributable in part to the increasing average age of fathers, which could account for as many as 20 to 30 percent of cases. The findings also counter the longstanding assumption that the age of the mother is the most important factor in determining the odds of a child having developmental problems. The risk of chromosomal abnormalities, like Down syndrome, increases for older mothers, but when it comes to some complex developmental and psychiatric problems, the lion’s share of the genetic risk originates in the sperm, not the egg, the study found.

Previous studies had strongly suggested as much, including an analysis published in April that found that this risk was higher at age 35 than 25 and crept up with age. The new report quantifies that risk for the first time, calculating how much it accumulates each year. The research team found that the average child born to a 20-year-old father had 25 random mutations that could be traced to paternal genetic material. The number increased steadily by two mutations a year, reaching 65 mutations for offspring of 40-year-old men. The average number of mutations coming from the mother’s side was 15, no matter her age, the study found. “This study provides some of the first solid scientific evidence for a true increase in the condition” of autism, said Dr. Fred R. Volkmar, director of the Child Study Center at the Yale School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. “It is extremely well done and the sample meticulously characterized.”

The new investigation, led by the Icelandic firm Decode Genetics, analyzed genetic material taken from blood samples of 78 parent-child trios, focusing on families in which parents with no signs of a mental disorder gave birth to a child who developed autism or schizophrenia. This approach allows scientists to isolate brand-new mutations in the genes of the child that were not present in the parents. Most people have many of these so-called de novo mutations, which occur spontaneously at or near conception, and most of them are harmless. But studies suggest that there are several such changes that can sharply increase the risk for autism and possibly schizophrenia — and the more a child has, the more likely he or she is by chance to have one of these rare, disabling ones. Some difference between the paternal and maternal side is to be expected. Sperm cells divide every 15 days or so, whereas egg cells are relatively stable, and continual copying inevitably leads to errors, in DNA as in life.

Still, when the researchers removed the effect of paternal age, they found no difference in genetic risk between those who had a diagnosis of autism or schizophrenia and a control group of Icelanders who did not. “It is absolutely stunning that the father’s age accounted for all this added risk, given the possibility of environmental factors and the diversity of the population,” said Dr. Kari Stefansson, the chief executive of Decode and the study’s senior author. “And it’s stunning that so little is contributed by the age of the mother.” Dr. Stefansson’s co-authors included C. Augustine Kong of Decode, and researchers from the University of Iceland, Aarhus University in Denmark and Illumina Cambridge Ltd. Dr. Stefansson said it made sense that de novo mutations would play a significant role in brain disorders. At least 50 percent of active genes play a role in neural development, so that random glitches are more likely to affect the brain than other organs, which have less exposure.

In the end, these kinds of mutations may account for 20 to 30 percent of cases of autism, and perhaps schizophrenia, some experts said. The remainder is probably a result of inherited genetic predisposition and environmental factors that are the subjects of numerous studies. Dr. Stefansson and other experts said that an increase in the average age of fathers had most likely led to more cases of autism. Unlike other theories proposed to explain the increase, like vaccinations, it is backed by evidence that scientists agree is solid. This by itself hardly explains the overall increase in diagnoses, at least in the United States. The birthrate of fathers age 40 and older has increased by more than 30 percent since 1980, according to government figures, but the diagnosis rate has jumped tenfold, to 1 in 88 8-year-olds. And it is not clear whether the rate of schizophrenia diagnosis has increased at all in that time.

Nonetheless, if these study findings hold up and extend to other brain disorders, wrote Alexey S. Kondrashov of the University of Michigan, in an editorial accompanying the study, “then collecting the sperm of young adult men and cold-storing it for later use could be a wise individual decision.” That very much depends on the individual. “You are going to have guys who look at this and say, ‘Oh no, you mean I have to have all my kids when I’m 20 and stupid?’ ” said Evan E. Eichler, a professor of genome sciences at the University of Washington in Seattle. “Well, of course not. You have to understand that the vast majority of these mutations have no consequences, and that there are tons of guys in their 50s who have healthy children.”
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Article Published in the NYtimes. Submitted by MissMannah. Thank you!

Reasonable Expectations

Dear I Saw Your Nanny: I posted this on the forum, but have not seen any comments on the thread. Hopefully if you post this soon, I can read opinions that will help me before I leave my position on Wednesday of next week…

I have a contract that states I have two weeks paid vacation (one week of their choice and one of mine.) It also states that I have 5 sick/personal days. The contract does NOT state that those days are accrued - simply that I am entitled to them. I am going to be leaving this position at the end of the month. I have found out that this family has lied about numerous things, including the reason for letting me go. I was told that due to the husband's loss of job, he will be at home and taking care of the children. I have now become aware that the reality is that they do not wish to pay someone legally any more – even though they committed to it in our agreement. I want to know if it is reasonable for me to expect to be paid out for the 5 sick/personal days (that I have not taken) and the one week of vacation that I have not taken. As stated, the contract does not say that these things are accrued, only that I am entitled to them. I am currently under the impression that I AM entitled to them. I am not trying to “stick it to them,” however I want to be fair and reasonable… and not get screwed over in the process. Thank you! - CleaverJune
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For those Posting on the ISYN chatboard, if you do not receive an answer in an acceptable amount of time from another Reader, please feel free to e-mail me and I will Publish it for you here. Thank you!

Top 10 Parent Concerns About Hiring a Nanny

Submitted by Jessica Jackson
nannyagencies.net
 
Today’s unstable economy almost demands that all families be two-working-parent households, which creates an enormous need for quality, capable childcare. New parents on the verge of returning to work, as well as those that are considering a shift from daycare to in-home childcare, are faced with the often daunting task of finding and hiring a nanny to care for their children in their home. Regardless of how appealing the idea of having a nanny may be, there are still plenty of concerns that the majority of parents have.

1. Nanny Tax Compliance – CNN reported in 2004 that the compliance rate for families and nannies regarding tax laws was less than 13%, meaning that roughly 87% of families that employ domestic workers do so illegally. The penalties for being discovered are quite steep, with interest rates and back taxes adding up to a significant chunk of change. More nannies are beginning to understand the importance of being paid legally, and are unlikely to accept posts that require them to evade taxes. The laws that govern nanny taxes are very complex, which is a deterrent for many families that would otherwise be compliant; fortunately, there are services and specially-designed software available to help parents pay their childcare providers legally.

2. Qualifications – Every parent in search of a nanny dreams that they’ll find one with an advanced degree in child development and years of experience, but the truth is that those nannies can be difficult to come by. It’s not uncommon for parents to become disillusioned soon after beginning their nanny search when they discover how many individuals without education or nanny experience apply for nanny positions, leaving them concerned about the level of care a more accessible candidate may provide.

3. Lack of Regulation – Daycare centers have their drawbacks, but properly licensed ones are almost always regulated by impartial state agencies that ensure the environment is as safe as possible, and that workers are reasonably competent. As yet, the nanny industry has no such set of regulations, making it easy for almost anyone to apply for a post.

4. Disciplinary Styles – Disciplinary tactics can be a contentious, hot-button issue between couples; worries about the stance of a stranger can be enough to make a parent worry themselves to distraction. Concerns that a nanny might be too harsh, or even physically punish their child, has contributed to the rise in nanny cam usage.

5. Criminal Background – The advent of the Internet has simplified the process of running a background check on a prospective employee dramatically; before the web made ordering searches possible, parents were often forced to rely on the word of a nanny and her references alone. Still, parents worry about a nanny’s potential criminal history until those reports come in.

6. Questionable Driving Record – Parents that don’t expect their nanny to transport the children and aren’t planning to require her to run any errands outside the home may choose to save their time and money from being spent on a check for moving violations. Those that do have these expectations, however, may find themselves in a sea of worry regarding their new nanny’s ability to transport their children safely.

7. Eligibility For Employment – In areas with a large immigrant population, employers must confirm that any nanny candidate is legally allowed to accept work in the United States, which may be a challenge if the bulk of the domestic worker hiring pool is made up of those seeking to work illegally.

8. Insurance Requirements – In addition to any contributions to health insurance premiums that an employer may choose to make, many states require that nannies be covered under a worker’s compensation and disability policy.

9. The Children Might Love Her More – Despite the unlikelihood of a child coming to love his nanny more than his parents, it’s a very real concern for some. Terms like “mommy guilt” and “nanny jealousy” are so common that they’ve become part of the childcare provider lexicon, and can be difficult to combat.

10. Negotiating a Salary Package – Hiring a nanny requires parents to undertake the sometimes harrowing process of negotiating a compensation package that meets the needs and expectations of both parties; additionally, drafting a written nanny contract can also be quite tedious.

Despite the concerns and occasional problems finding and securing a competent and qualified nanny, most families that employ a private childcare provider are loath to consider any other options due to the exceptional level of one-one-one care and personalized attention that their children can receive from in-home care.

Roxbury Park in Beverly Hills, CA

Roxbury Park in Beverly Hills, CA

When: Aug 22
Where: Beverly Hills, Roxbury Park.
Child: Four year old girl named Willow (nanny said mom's name is Susan)
Incident: The child, "Willow" was left alone, trembling, shaking, crying literally HYSTERICALLY under the playground apparatus. Nanny was chatting with a friend and totally oblivious. I brought the child over (she had crawled into my arms, covered in dirt, and looked like she had fallen.) - Julia

Send your nanny sighting to isynblog@gmail.com. Confidentiality Guaranteed.

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Nanniversary

This weekend our Nanny will have been with us for a year and we would love to celebrate it with her in some way. The kids love her, we adore her, and couldn't have asked for a better Nanny if we had written everything down on a wish list. 

My family wants to do something really special for her and we need some suggestions on how best to show how much we appreciate all she has done. We plan to throw her a little party and need some great gift ideas! 

Nannies, what would be the best way for your MB and DB to show how grateful they are to you? - Anonymous

Facing Up to DB's Put Downs

I need help or advice. My issue is with DB. I don't think he is a bad guy, but I think he is a know it all, and has a problem letting me do my job or backing me up on anything I do or suggest. He works at home so he is always watching and waiting for me to do something wrong I suppose, and interfering with my job. My other issue is that he favors one of the kids big time. For example if one kid is crying he could barely be bothered. If the other kid so much as sniffles he is all over the kid like a mother hen. I'm starting to get extremely annoyed.

To be honest, the last week or so I've been very short tempered when it comes to DB. Not yelling or anything, but I haven't been at my finest. It's taken everything in me not to have it out with this guy. I'm at the point where I think I will no longer have a job. I think I will either quit or I will be let go. I am angry. Is it worth discussing the situation with him and MB? If it is, how would you go about it as a nanny? Thanks. - Anonymous
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Edited to remove identifying information August 25, 2012. - MPP

Time for Some Payback

So this is my first job as a nanny, and I am wondering if this is normal. My "family" frequently asks me to purchase things like groceries, gas, movie tickets, etc. And most of the time they are good about giving me money for them in advance. However, sometimes they are not. And despite me bringing home receipts for them and telling them how much xxxx cost, I am usually met with "I'll get it to you later". Generally these things are forgotten about, or I will notice they've thrown away the receipts, but not reimbursed me. These are usually items under $20, which while not super expensive, have been adding up.

Would you expect your nanny to pay for some small expenses on her own? For example, movie theater parking, mailing packages (not just buying a stamp...), desktop keyboard (this one was like 30$!), and small groceries? I'm not a live in and I don't eat at the house, so I don't feel I should need to "chip in" for groceries or anything like that.

Would you feel annoyed if your nanny kept asking you for reimbursement for these small things? Some things I've asked to be reimbursed for 3+ times and it's just been ignored. I've been considering asking for a pre-paid credit card with like $100 on it for these situations where I am currently spending my own money. Would that be considered out of line? How do I even approach being reimbursed for things like the keyboard where they have already tossed the receipt out? Help! - Anonymous

How Can Nanny Avoid Walking Papers?

This is time sensitive so I hope you'll post it as soon as you get it, please! I work for a SAHM, 2 adorable kids, 3 and 5, full-time. I've been here for about 6mo and everything seemed to be going well, or so I thought, until this morning. I accidently overheard MB on the phone, I'm not sure who she was talking to, but she said she was going to have to start looking for a new nanny. I swear I don't know what I could've done wrong for her to let me go. I need help on what I should say to her if/when she confronts me about leaving. I love these kids and really need this job. It took me forever to find and I can't handle going through the grind of being unemployed again!

Capitol Hill Public Library - Seattle

I saw your nanny at the Capitol Hill (Seattle) public library around 11:15am on Monday, August 20th. Nanny was tall and slim with very long, very blonde hair and a European (French?) accent; she was with three children, two girls and a boy, with very dark hair (girls hair was curly) who looked to be between 3-9 years old. Nanny was sitting on the floor reading story after story while the kids hung off her every word. Other kids with their caregivers came over to join them, until it looked like an actual story hour and not just an exceptionally animated nanny attracting all the little readers. She was engaging, funny, very respectful when asking the younger girl not to scream in the library, and all around doing an awesome job.

Annoyed at Know-it-All Nannies

Do you ever get annoyed at know it all new nannies? A few months ago my mother asked me for tips she could pass along to her younger coworker. My mother is a teacher and her coworker was not sure if she would have a job at the end of last school year. She was also dissatisfied with the work environment and thought being a nanny would be a great alternative. So I carefully outlined places to look for jobs, red flags, the kinds of jobs that would be a great for a new nanny, questions to ask, and things to make sure she had in a contract. Well she brushed it all aside, because she knows everything. Now she does have experience working with kids, about two years worth, and none for kids as young as she will be working with. She does have some teaching experience.

As we nannies who have taught know, being a nanny and a classroom teacher are entirely different animals. I just get tired of having people act as though being a nanny is easy, especially those that have never been a nanny. I would have appreciated an experienced nanny making herself available to me in my first nanny jobs. Heck, I turn to more experienced nannies now when I have questions or need support. To top it off she quits her teaching job without having a contract signed, with the attitude of well if it doesn’t work out I’ll find another nanny job. Perhaps I’m being too harsh on this one young lady. - Anonymous

1) Long-term Nanny/Assistant Needed - (California) This is the 2nd time I have run an ad for a personal assistant. I mulled over how to best write this "help wanted" ad, and figured I could write it in a stuffy business type ad, but then I figured that wasn't really who I am. I figure the best way is to be myself and simply go over who I am, what its like to work with me, and then list out what it is I am looking for. I know its long, but I figure its best that you know exactly what I am looking for. So here goes. About Me: (what you should know) People always tell me that they have no time. I totally get it. I sort of feel the same way, and here is why. I have an amazing wife, 3 great kids (ages 3, 5 and 12), and a crippled dog who doesn't get enough attention lately. I spend most of my waking hours, working on my businesses. I currently own 3 retail businesses with 110 employees, a chiropractic office, am building 8 more chiropractic offices, and am managing the development of another 17 offices over the next 24 months. On top of that, I am also a real estate agent and a real estate investor. I am responsible for a ton of things including (HR, Payroll, advertising, legal, compliance, real estate development, company growth, projects, forecasting, etc.) I am an A type personality and love to get things done. I don't like to micro-manage. I like to tell someone what needs to be done, and then I wait for results. I don't like to have to baby people. This is not to say I don't train people. On the contrary, I like to make sure that the job is done correctly. I typically go to bed around 2-3 am and I try to get up around 8-9am. Its easier for me to work late at nights, so the kids don't bother me. My wife is my right hand. In fact, she is my right and left hand. We work amazingly well together and have done so for the last 6-7 years. Right now, as we continue to grow our business, we decided its time for us to try to take small steps to having a more balanced life. Have someone be more involved with us on our day to day activities, to ease our load so that we can spend some more personal time together away from work and the kids once in a while. Currently, we work around 70-80 hours per week so it gets tough. Hmmm, what else. I am a self starter who has very specific goals in life. I believe in working hard and playing hard. I live a life with integrity, honesty and professionalism and I like to surround myself with people who share those traits. About You: You are a personable, outgoing, caring, organized, passionate person. You are available weekends and evenings. You are good with kids, good with people, and have excellent communication skills. You are willing to take on miscellaneous task for personal and family matters. You are extremely computer savvy. You are good with customer service, good with sales, good with problem solving. You have great common sense. You are completely emotionally available with no mental baggage. If I looked at the back seat of your car, it would be nice and neat and not filled with fast food bags. You believe in a healthy lifestyle, so you eat right and you exercise. You are looking to grow your career now, but maybe you aren't sure what you are looking to do yet, but you know you want to grow and learn. You LOVE to learn new things and love new challenges. You really don't get flustered when you don't know how to do something, but are willing to ask the right questions. You have a great sense of responsibility. You might REALLY want to go out to Vegas with your girl friends next weekend, but you haven't finished your reports, so respectfully decline the invitation. You live around South Orange County and can get to my house or to my offices within 25 mins ideally. You are willing to put in long hours and thrive on seeing progress. You are goal focused and want to have an amazing life and are willing to work hard to get it. Job Description: Your number one goal is to make my life easier. The easier my life becomes, the better you are at your job! I am looking for my assistant to help me in freeing up my time. That is your number one task. If I am able to get some free time to myself and with my wife, then you are starting to do a good job! At first, your first job will be to get to know my family and kids. My 2 youngest kids go to day care. Its about 1 mile away from where I live. The day care is opened from 7am to 6pm. We will need help with dropping the kids off to and picking them up from school. Helping get them settled in with dinner occasionally, picking up after the kids and keeping the house in order is important. Right now they are young, so they are learning to be organized. The better you are at getting them to listen to you and help you out, the easier this part of the job is going to be. We want the kids to get to know and like you like they would a big sister or aunt. This isnt a child care job, but we do want you to be so evolved with our family that if we need you to help babysitting for a night, or a weekend, or traveling with us, you would be up for it. My family is my number one priority and I need to know that you can take care of them as I would. You will need to be able to negotiate with a 3 year old and explain to her why he needs to wear her jacket. Change a diaper? Check! Getting snacks for the kids, playing with them, or getting them ready for bed will probably be tasks you are going to help us with. Next, you are going to assist me running my business. I am going to work with you and give you tasks that will include marketing, advertising, human resources, accounting, etc. You are going to learn a lot about running a business and what it takes to do so. As I said before, your job is to help me with everything that I do, and I wear a lot of hats. One day, you might be helping me organize reports, helping me make systems, doing quality checks at my spas, meeting with contractors, etc. Another day, you might be showing some clients of mine some houses, helping me deliver contracts, etc. You might get to know how work at my spas. You may head out with me and my family to Las Vegas to check out investment properties, or manage some of my properties. You are open for anything! What I am trying to quickly point out, is that there is no job that is too small or too big for you. You understand that being an assistant is basically being willing to do anything that I would normally have to do. Your job is trying to get things off of my plate, so that I can tend to larger projects. You are going to be working closely with my wife and I so its important that we get along well as well. If you say "that's not my job", that to me is basically saying "I quit". You have to be open to do anything I would do. Recent college grads with nanny-ing experience are encouraged to apply. Job Requirements (Not Negotiable) • Minimum of 4 years driving experience. Good driving record. • English Speaking, great communication skills, very motivated, and a quick learner • Willingness to learn/open minded/have a "can and will do" attitude. • Great with kids- Assist with personal and family activities • Extremely flexible schedule (nights weekends available) Also willing and able to travel. • Proficient in Microsoft Excel, Word • Must be detail oriented and with strong organizational skills • Must be able to work independently • Looking for long term growth and employment • Compensation: I hope that you are looking for a LONG term job. I am flexible with time. Some days, some evenings, some weekends. I am willing to work around a school schedule. In the beginning, you will be doing a bit of an internship. You will earn $12-$13.00/hour (Depends on Experience)
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Submitted by H. Thank you!

2) Needing a live in nanny - (Oklahoma) we are looking for a live in nanny to help take care of our 2 month old little girl we are looking for someone in the age range of 21-35 our requirements would be non smoker drug free have a clean background valid drivers licesene own car with everything up to date and must have an ac that works must have or be willing to get certified for cpr/first aid must have atleast 3 references and be able to work when needed pay would be $50-$100 a week and free room and board we are looking for someone to help around the house run errands take our daughter to her appointments when needed and be able to start as soon as possible if interested please call 918 946 ****
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Submitted by Porky Pig. Thank you!

3) Nanny Needed - (Arkansas) I am looking for a nanny for my 14-month-old twins. It will be three to four days a week. It is for a flat monthly rate of $1000 per month. You will be needed from approximately 6:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. on the days that you work. There will be at least one weekend day a month that you are needed. All three meals are provided the days that you are here and there will be a small gas stipend for times when you transport the kids in your car. You would be expected to feed and bathe the twins and do light housekeeping as far as picking up after the twins is concerned. You need to have a slightly flexible schedule and be fairly easy-going, along with physically able to get down in the floor and play with the twins, and take them on walks/outings. After October I will have more flexibility with my schedule, but am on a set schedule until then because of orientation. _____________________________________________________________
Submitted by N.M. Thank you!

4) Need full-time nanny/housekeeper/cook - (Houston) Looking for an all around girl to join our family we have four older children need someone to take them to activities and supervise them also keep the house clean and cook dinner for the family hours are from 7:30 to 6:30pm pay is from 300 to 350wk depends on experience and what you do for our family call 713-210-**** This is a live out job!
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Submitted by Anonymous. Thank you!

5) I want a pianist/sitter - (NY) I've had some comical experiences with people who, in the words of triumph the insult dog, had alot of "misguided confidence" and if you are a good pianist, you play the piano well, other people think you do, and you've played for a long time. preferably, you don't loathe classical music. You may play well but it doesn't mean you can teach. I have very young kids 3 and 5, so it's more combo sitting/ doing piano if possible in doses. If you turn out to be good, I will give you the $15 even for one child. I usually pay $10-$13 for one child and $15 for both. It would really help if you had a seriousness about piano but otherwise a really playful upbeat disposition, you think on your toes, are flexible and really good about engaging attention. I have 2 kids, one is a wiz, astounding level of academics when he wants to do it but he has alot of issues sporadically, chief among them, speech delay and selective attention. My other son is what we call in yiddish "the macher." If you lose him, then you can't keep anyone. They both love music. my older son, i sang all the time when he was 2 and he would sing beautifully over speaking and of course now he stinks mainly because he doesn't care. My other son figured out some amazingly complex things on his own and makes up his own melodies, some naturally are better than others. But they both notably were able to identify classical music on a shuffle, now my older son tunes out but i know he could do it. I cant do it. they both have very very musical ears and thats already a good start for playing. My older son has an advantage over my younger despite being tough to reach sometimes, he's phenomenally adept at mapping and he was able to play a labelled piece on his own on his first attempt. Neither reads music but i think they could be taught now because they both read text and symbols very well. I am not looking for babyish music here nor am I looking for mendelssohn, but i value music and there are few things Id want more for my kids than for them to have the ability to achieve a deep joy from playing an instrument. And I think it's nothing short of truly great to have an area of learning that's tiered and complex and you can always go the extra step if you put the work in. I quit piano so I am a totally lame hypocrite but I never lost the appreciation. This is not for private lessons, its for a sitter whose willing to share piano. If it works out phenomenally and you are willing to prepare, we might be able to come to an alternate arrangement but this is really a gig for a sitter who just happens to play piano and its one tool in their toolbox for engaging kids. Drop a line and tell me about you.
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Submitted by K. Thank you!

Focus on Being Good Nannies...

It's very disappointing to me that this blog is not like it used to be. I find myself coming here less and less. ISYN used to be something I visited daily, waiting for new posts and insightful comments from readers. Now, there are less frequent postings and when there are some, they are all littered with a comment string of 80 readers bashing the OP and each other. Instead of calling each other out on how terrible we are at our jobs, how stupid and uneducated we are, how we need to get a new profession... how about we all get off the computer and focus on being good nannies to our charges. Not getting behind a computer screen to ridicule others for doing things differently than you would. - Anonymous

Bittersweet...

I interviewed for a new job today. It pays fairly well and I enjoy the children but it's more of a scheduling issue than anything else. Nevertheless I have been keeping my eyes peeled for the "almost perfect" job. You never know, right? I really thought this could possibly be it!

Well, I get there and I am greeted by 3 large dogs. No prob. I go in and meet the babies, they are insanely adorable. I mean cuteness on overdrive times 5 billion. The parents tell me of the expected chores and part of the job is that all of the pet hair needs to be vacuumed at least two times a day, baby laundry, and "meticulous" cleaning of the kitchen needs to be done. I am surprisingly still on board because I am figuring that all of this work will at least be getting me 18.00! Now it's time to talk numbers: they offer $10.50hr! I know that 10.50 is not 6.00 or 3.75. It could be worse, but this is a very upper class area.

I'm sad because these children would have had themselves an awesome nanny, I really would have loved to have been a part of their little world, but I've been there and done that. I've taken a super low paying job before and luckily as of right now, I do not need to again. The real kicker is this family has a wonderful Au-pair employed. I know she is awesome because I just happen to see her all of the time when I am out with my charges.What a coincidence! She is super sweet. Always playing, singing and interacting with the babies. Always smiling! This woman is always so cheerful and seems radiantly happy with her job. I actually considered writing in a good nanny sighting about her a few months ago and I really wish I had. She is an amazing lady! Hugs to all the awesome nannies out there! - Anonymous
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Edited to remove identifying information August 26, 2012. - MPP

Breaking Boundaries

I have a rule that work is work and home is home. I am debating breaking this rule in October. My MB and DB are planning a vacation for their anniversary and plan to leave their kids with the grandparents beginning on a weekend. The kids are 8, 13, and 8 months. It was mentioned to me that the grandparents might need some relief on the weekdays for a couple hours at a time (I'm salaried so yes, the pay would be worth the commute for such a short time) and I happily agreed. However, the weekend that the parents are set to leave, my husband and I have a camping trip planned with his parents, brothers, uncle, and friends of the family. There would be about 8 kids that are 4-15 years old. And its a themed weekend that kids would really enjoy.

I am curious.. should I offer to take the older two kids camping with us? Or is this crossing the lines? I have a pretty good relationship with the family I work for and they have met my husband. I wouldn't expect to get paid or anything either. - Anonymous

CL-WTF

1) Oregon - I am looking for someone who would be willing to watch my children 5 days a week for 6-9 hours a day. The hours would be anywhere from 5am-2pm and would vary depending on the day. I have a 4 year old and a 6 year old so I would like someone who would do different activities with them like going to the park or doing arts and crafts and someone who could walk/drive my daughter to school in the morning if needed (the school is only a block from our house). I will pay $20.00 a day depending on hours (negotiable). Please email your resume to me with references (required) and I will call you to set up a time to meet our family.

Porky Pig Exposed wrote: Hi I saw your ad on Craigslist and wanted to know if you accidentally typed $20 per day? If it was not an accident, then this is definitely CL-WTF material. You do realize you get what you pay for and your children will be in my prayers because God knows what kind of ''Nanny'' would accept such horrible pay. Would you work full-time hours for twenty dollars? You will get the bottom of the barrel type of care. A non-reliable, irresponsible, low quality care. I wouldn't trust it. 

Oregon Response: First off you have no right emailing me to tell me what I should or should not pay for child care. Second of all if you read the ad you would have seen it said depending on the hours. Not that it is any of your business but they would be working on average 2 hours a day and I think 20 dollars for 2 hours of work is a very fair price concidering most daycares only charge $3.00 a kid an hour. Not only that but my kids do not now nor will they ever need YOUR prayers. I take very good care of my kids and I know what is best for them and I would NEVER leave them with someone I didnt feel was reliable and good to my kids and I would also not leave someone alone with my children unless I had done a full back ground check on them. So next time you go and open your mouth about something you know nothing about maybe you should look into it a little more rather then assume you know the whole story.

Porky Pig Exposed: I never said you were not a good mom, of course you will give them good care because they're yours, which is why paying a decent amount for someone taking care of them is important because you get what you pay for. Your ad says 5 days a week, 6-9 hours a day. NOT 2 hours. So my assumptions are based on your words. Second of all, daycares are completely different, they charge less per child because there's alot of children. So $3 dollars plus 10 children would be about $30 an hour. Nannies are a luxury that not many can afford, they come to you, give your child one-on-one care, bring your child to outings, etc. They don't just sit a kid in front of a TV all day. All I'm trying to say is, if you pay low, you get low care. Also if you meant $20 for 2 hours, you should probably write that in your ad so you don't attract low class people.

Oregon Response: Thanks but no thanks for your advice. I think I can handle this on my own.

Porky Pig Exposed: Hope so. Good luck!
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2) Virginia - I am looking for someone to come to our home 2-3 times per week (M/W/F) usually between 8:30-3:30. Our daughter is 1 year old. Bringing another child or two is acceptable. Someone who speaks Spanish or knows Sign Language is preferred. (We probably won't consider you if you do not do one of those). I have just started a business and for now we can pay up to $100/week. Please reply to this ad if interested. Thank you for your interest.

Porky Pig Exposed wrote: Hi I saw your ad on Craigslist and wanted to say that anyone willing to accept such a low rate is not someone I'd want around my infant. Shame on you. You get what you pay for and if you can't afford a good quality nanny then you can't have one. A Nanny is a luxury which is why not everyone has one, usually the upper class/wealthy have nannies because they can afford the going rate.

Virginia Response - For ur info i did hire one so myob!

Porky Pig Exposed: You hired someone that fast? Wow, your even more ridiculous then I previously thought. Anyone willing to take $50 dollars for 40 hours is someone that you're going to regret hiring because you're so concerned about getting the cheapest deal that you don't even realize your putting your kids in harms way. It's sad that a complete stranger is more worried about your child then you are. Don't go crying to the police when your house gets burned down because your nanny over-dosed and passed out while on the job. Or if you child gets abused emotionally, verbally, physically or sexually. Some parents are too clueless to breed. The only spanish speaking ''Nanny'' you'll get is an illegal for the price your willing to offer. And the illegal won't be high quality, probably someone desperate for a job under the table. I understand you can't afford more money but then again, having a nanny is a luxury and upper-class/wealthy people are usually the ones who have good quality nannies while the low-class people, like yourself, hire people that I wouldn't trust in a million years to be alone with my children. Don't expect too much for that price. You get what you pay for.

Virginia Response - Thank you, Porky Pig for your response. I certainly appreciate your input, but you are very sadly mistaken with your assumptions. I understand your point of view, but posted my ad anyway in hopes that I might get someone who was looking to help a working family out. We are by NO means low class! My husband and I both work very hard to earn a very good living. Because I just started a business, we are being much more conscious and responsible with our money. I don't even really know why I'm explaining myself to you... I've gotten a tremendous response to my ad from many generous people who have offered to provide us with the care we need... within our posted budget! In the future when you have an opinion about something, it would be nice to use your real name so that people can take you and your opinions more seriously.

Porky Pig Exposed: It's great that you're looking to budget. How about budgeting in other areas. It just disappoints me that parents want to budget with there children, what should be the most important people in there lives. I budget with many things, we all do, but when it comes to children, they're worth alot more then what you're trying to offer someone. That will only get you a resentful, unreliable, irresponsible type of caregiver. Good Nannies make anywhere between $10-$20per HOUR even as high as $30 in some states. I know this is Craigslist and the quality and offers are going to be lower compared to higher-class sites like Care and SitterCity, but it's still upsetting. Good luck in your search and I hope you screen really good. But you can't say I didn't warn you. Oh and btw, my opinions are being taken quite seriously, or else you wouldn't of emailed me back trying to explain yourself. Nice try though, lol, have a great day.
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3) Arizona - Nanny/Sitter needed with OPEN AVAILABILITY!! Hi I am seeking childcare in my home at Val Vista and Broadway in Mesa. The hours I work are pretty set since I now work 2 jobs (teacher and waitress). You will be needed Monday through Friday for sure. Weekend days will be optional. The kids are VERY easy going. They love arts and crafts, singing, dancing, and outside time, so we would love someone young, energetic, and a kid at heart! I have only been back to work for a short time after staying home with the kids so I can only afford $20 per day TO START. If we click then I would be willing to pay to have you CPR/First Aid certified! I would prefer someone in MY home. Since I mainly work nights it would be nicer to not have to wake the kids to bring them home. Especially since my daughter will be starting school, a bed time routine is a must! You would be needed from 2-3pm to anywhere from 930-11pm. Since I’ve just begun the serving job the hours aren’t set. Some nights may be shorter than others while others may be longer. Just to be sure, flexibility is a MUST! Please email me if interested and hopefully we can meet soon! I will respond as soon as possible! We MUST meet before Friday!!!

Porky Pig Exposed: Hi I was wondering if you're still searching for a nanny to employ? If so, I'm not surprised, what self respecting nanny would work for $20 a day? A full days shift, at that. What an insult, not only to nannies, but to your own children. You're expecting the moon and the stars but paying less then three bucks an hour. Hah, good luck, you're going to need it. You're a teacher and a waitress yet you could work at Burger King and still afford more, just like a nanny can work at Burger King and get paid more. Wait, let me guess, you got bills right? Because you're the only one in the world with family and bills right? WRONG. And you wrote you must need care before friday, so your rushing. You're a horrible, irresponsible, cheap parent and I feel bad for your children. I would never budget childcare, these are children we're talking about, not materialisic things, CHILDREN! Shame on you.

Arizona Response: Wow, fuck you!

Grandaisy Bakery on 72nd St., UWS - NY

Wednesday August 1st, 2:00 pm at 72nd St. in front of Grandaisy Bakery and again in the subway station. The caregiver was a short African-American woman of about 40 years. The girl she had with her had a physical disability, was also African-American, clothed well in a dress with roman sandals. The girl looked to be about 14-16 years. Here is what I saw: it was raining, the caregiver stood under the awning of Grandaisy while she read a book. The girls legs were shaking and she was obviously distressed but was being ignored. By the time I walked outside they were gone but I saw them again in the subway station. The girl was standing by the handicap door waiting to go in, pacing and uncomfortable, but the caregiver ignored her, leaned against the gate and continued to read. This time I went over and acted like I thought I knew the girl. I said "are you her mom?" and what I found out was the moms name is either Evan or Evalynn and they live in the Bronx. I hope you find this post!!! Thanks.

Marina Park in Kirkland WA

Hi, I'm a nanny and recently observed another nanny while out with my kids that totally shocked me! I was at Marina Park in Kirkland WA when I saw this. There were 3 children who looked to be about 4 years, 6 years and 7 years. I couldn't figure out who they belonged to, I was there for 20 minutes and never saw them interact with an adult and there wasn't anybody nearby. They were playing somewhat dangerously near the edge of the rocks that lead down to the water. And of course behind them was the road.

I was about to go up and ask them where their parents were when they ran off to a young woman laying in the grass about 60 feet away from where they were playing. I'd seen the woman laying there but never imagined they were connected as the woman was laying in the grass facing away from the children and playing on her phone. I never once saw her turn around to look at the kids and she was quite far away from them. In 20 minutes she never interracted with them, checked on them, or even looked at them so far as I could see. As a nanny this surprised and even angered me a bit, I couldn't believe her! The nanny was young, maybe about 23 years old, with dark brown hair. She was wearing a tank top and shorts. I believe the kids were all blonde but I can't quite remember.

Nanny Camaraderie

I am an avid reader of this blog, but this is my first time submitting. "Jane" is my 13 month girl I watch. I am a nanny, and where I work there's more SAHMs than Nannies. I see other nannies from time to time, but today I met a Nanny and an Au pair. They just started coming to Storytime at the Library a couple weeks ago, but today we made introductions. I met the Au pair first, and I don't know... she just came across as shady to me. First of all... she's caring for boy/girl twins who are almost 2, and she had earphones in her ears!!! Sitting in a chair... tapping her foot, and quietly humming. Sure, she was watching them, but come on, earphones, really?! Her clothes, I don't think were job appropriate. Her shorts were practically booty shorts and her top was super low. I'm not a prude nor am I saying you have to dress like a prude, but at least be appropriate. You're watching children, save that outfit for the bar.

We made small talk about our charges, work day, etc. Then "Jane" and I went to read in the corner. She came over a couple minutes later and starting talking to me again WHILE I was reading to the baby! She started asking me more questions which lead to personal questions; how do I like the family, what do they do for a living, do I do housework, am I under the table or on the books, how much do I get paid!!! I am a very private person as it is with people I know, but for someone I just met to start shooting me these questions?!? I don't talk about specifics of my job, or answer personal questions... so I just nicely told her she was asking too personal of questions, and went back to reading to Jane. She gave me a look and was like, "Seriously?! I just wanted to compare."

I know how much Au pairs make, and honestly I didn't want to make her feel bad. I just don't think she understands there is a slight difference between a nanny and au pair. The Nanny I had just met, on the other hand, was absolutely wonderful!!! After me and Jane left the library we decided to meet her at the park. There were a ton of kids there running around, but she still managed an 8 month old on her hip while helping the 2 yr old up and down the slide. She was attentive, loving, encouraging, and experienced. The girls were so well behaved too! She actually reminded me of... well me (haha)! We're both young, professional (she dressed appropriate and still stylish), we've been nannying for 5+ years, and we just get where the other is coming from. I have friends who are moms, but it's not the same.

We're both American, but we do incorporate our native tongues into our charges lives (she's Latina and I'm Asian). When asked (in Spanish) to say hello to me the 2 yr old said "hola, L****". Even though we work in the city, there's still not that many nannies around our particular area, so to have met another nanny you click with... it's like a breath of fresh air!! We exchanged numbers and plan on meeting up with the kids after I come back from vacay! I think it'll be good for the girls. Jane just turned 1, aside from weekly Storytime and kids she sees running around at the park, it's mostly her and her nanny (me) all day! And new nanny friend said that since her charge left daycare, she's become really shy and reserved. Nanny really seemed to love her job and the girls she was caring for, which is something I didn't get from the Au pair. I don't believe she's a bad caregiver either, I just think she has a lot to learn.

Do you guys think there's a difference between a nanny and an au pair? Does it make you uncomfortable when people ask you specifics about your job? How do you handle it? Before people make negative comments, yes, I think those questions she asked me were too personal. Quite frankly, my job specifics are no one else's business. It wasn't just that she asked them, it was her demeanor and the way that she asked. Another thing, I don't like to gloat. I'm not going to throw my salary around in someone's face, especially if I know they do the same job as I do, but are making less. So please don't turn this posting into a riot. Thanks! - Lo
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Readers: Please be respectful of OP's request for no flaming in her thread. Thank you! ~ MPP