Received Wednesday, July 23, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Support Group? Here? I am looking to exchange stories with other nannies who can identify with my story. I am motivated by a post whereby someone commented, " Don't sweat it. If you suspect she is slandering you professionally, that is saying false things that hinder your ability to earn a living, she is liable for monetary damages.". I was curious if anyone has ever successfully sued a former employer for said monetary damages. I worked for an idiot once. She was truly dumb, I'm not sure how she even got a driver's licence- she was that dumb. She was also a vindictive twat and even though her lawyer husband told her she couldn't say anything negative about me to references who called her, I just found out that she has been running her mouth. The things she has said are 100 percent not true and I am able to prove that. I ended the job with her because she was so inconsistent and flighty and a stay at home Mom. She put me in a bad position because together we shared responsibility for three children under 6 and she perpetually put her own kids at risk. And when her husband called her to task on it, she lied outright to him and told him it was me. The husband was smart and realized I would never have done that. I left on good terms with him, 4 months ago. But I have just started interviewing and not only is she intercepting calls meant for him, but she has been lying to shared acquaintances of ours. I live in the same area where she lives. Some of our shared acquaintances were mine before they were hers. We have the same podiatrist, shop at the same grocery store and I have nieces at her child's preschool. Some of the ugly things she has said, she has said to teachers at this preschool. I am a nanny. My reputation is everything to me. Besides which, everyone knows the best jobs come by word of mouth and no one is going to want to hire me when Sid Vicious is out their spewing her false tales. Help!
14 comments:
Call her husband and tell him what has been going on. Since he seems to have his wife's number...and also knows this put them at risk legally, I'll bet he will let her have it and put a stop to the whole thing immediately.
Be kind but firm when you speak with him. Tell him this is is causing a loss of income for you (those are the damages that would be recoverable, and he will recognize this immediately) and not only does it need to stop immediately, but that his wife needs to go to all of the places she has lied about you, apologize, and make every attempt to restore your reputation.
Tell him if you hear about it happening again, you will have no choice but to take legal action...and maybe say that you are even considering it at this point because so much damage has been done already.
Well said, mom! I think that is really good advice.
It really wouldn't do much good to talk to the mom if she is that much of a nutcase. But you do need to put a stop to this, because like you said, your reputation is everything as a nanny.
I think mom hit it right on the head!
Husband already knows that you CAN sue them. You need to make it known that you WILL sue if this doesn't stop. Good for you for standing up for yourself. I'll bet there are a lot of other nannies in your position who just take that kind of treatment.
I don't know how long you were there, nanny, but good luck to you.
Some of these employers make themselves look and sound like idiots when they lie about nannies that they have had working for them for 4 and 5 years.
I had a friend who was trashing the nanny she had working for her home, taking care of a baby and a toddler for 4 years. Finally, I lost it with her and I said, "You do realize, everyone knows you are lying. I interacted with her for five years. Mary had playdates with her. She lived with you for five years. If she was as bad as you say, first, we would have known and second, why would she have been working for you for five years?
She seriously stopped after that. I swear she had never considered just how idiotic she looked.
Alot of female employers are jealous of their childless nannies. I have another story about how a great nanny left a family after her year was up. The nanny was going to backpack across Europe with three very good looking guys. Her female employer hated her for having that freedom. I mean, she came to really hate her. And she began to feel like she was stuck at home with a thankless husband and two boring kids.
Crazy is an epidemic.
Great post, Mom.
OP, in addition to talking to the Husband, if he is still willing to help you gain Employment ....
ask him if he wouldn't mind providing you with his Cell phone # and you can use that number for your references --- that will cut the Mom off at the pass.
Good Luck!
I don't understand why anyone would bad mouthe a nanny who didnt' deserve it. Maybe this is something that happens when middle class people try and employ nannies.
I don't know anyone in my circle who would waste any time disparaging the nanny.
Chachi, could you sound more snooty-but-uneducated-I'm-better-than-you-upper-class?
No. You could not.
Also, it's mouth, and didn't.
"maybe this is something that happens when middle class people try and employ nannies"....Who are you, the Queen of Sheba? What! You don't think high society/wealthy people act like crazy asses? If so, your world is entirely too small.
chachi,
great handle. I love chachi so much. I also loved that show starman with robert hayes and c.b. barnes. not that they are related in any way, but still...
that being said, there are many reasons why people bad-mouth others, and most of the reasons have absolutely nothing to do with middle/upper/lower class status. people bad-mouth people because they are jerks. Last I checked, there were just as many rich jerks as poor jerks in this world.
glad your "circle" doesn't bad-mouth people. but the world doesn't end and begin with your "circle."
just saying.
ROFLMAO
Chachi anyone who makes a statement like that has no class and middle class is a lot better then no class.
true statement downtoearth!
ro,
What a strange mentality you portray. Just wondering what make you think of such deep psychic discontent in the mom?
This is the kind of dispute that can only be settled with a two lb bag of baby carrots heaved by someone topping the scales at 200 or more. If this isn't you, sick Susan Tepper on the bitch.
the question at hand...I actually just sued a former daycare parent of mine. Complete Nutjob, who was awful to her children. She owed me money when she quit daycare, and I was going to let it ride, but then all these comments she was making to people in our community kept getting back to me...such as "She raised her rates to 40 a day and I cannot afford that" not only unture but detering my business ...then came comments about the kids in my care "________ makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up"...the final straw came when her daughter saw me out with one night and came running at me full speed ,burst into tears and said "mommy said you don't like me anymore and I can't ever see you again" I sued her and won. In fact our court date was last month on the 20th and she still has yet to pay, and everyday that goes by she is charged an 8% fee...so I am letting it ride till she owes me lots of money...so the question is yes you can sue and yes you can win
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