Received Thursday, July 24, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
About me:
African American female, associates degree in early childhood education, lifeguard (on weekends at a country club), come from a solid family, tax payer, registered voter (democrat).
About my employer:
The he, not the she. She is great. He: Hardcore republican, works from home half time all summer long, opinionated, rude & inconsiderate.
The problem:
I know my female employer is not prejudiced, but the comments my male employer keeps making, albeit directed at Barack Obama; are getting me angry. From, "He wouldn't be popular except that he's black" to "Why is it any time a black man speaks in complete sentences, he is hailed as a gifted orator". This morning, he had Fox News on in his office when I chased the two year old in there and he told me, "You know what, this guy is Hitler. He is 100% Hitler. Going around making all of these unnecessary speeches and people going wild, yep that's Hitler. That's how Hitler came to fame".
Question:
I would love to say something directly to him, but that isn't my style. Even if it were, he has already announced that every black person in the US is voting for Obama, that 'we' can't see past his color. Would it be inappropriate for me to mention this to my female employer? With every awful thing he says, I like him less and less.
77 comments:
I understand how you feel OP, I really do. But you can't change this guy. If it bothers you that much, start looking. too bad for his child that this dude cannot express his opinion without sensitivity or tact. good luck.
How rude. I am offended by his comments as a liberal!
This man has no tact. Everyone has the right to his or her own opinion but his way of expressing it it rude.
I suggest saying something like: that's right, and that's why he will be the next president.
Or, I don't appreciate your insults against black people (in ref to that full sentence quote) it offends me.
Sadly my dear I think it says a lot about him and how he likely thinks of you.
Good luck and find a new family.
Have you ever seen the great debaters. Don't be the person who ran over the pig and doesn't say anything back. Stand up for yourself.
I am sorry that you are offended by his comments. Personally, I think there is something squeemishly frightening about the prospect of a nobody who rises to great fame on the color of his skin and starts a tour of the world before even being elected president.
And as for his black skin, he is HALF white. Half black. He's not even a brother through and through.
Hmm...Hitler, haven't heard that one before. Although I know many who think he's the anti-christ ;)
I personally can't stand Obama, but it has nothing to do with his race (he looks more gray to me than black, lol)Also, for the record, I don't like McCain either. Go Bob Barr! Woot!
Seriously though, If it were me, I'd probably let it go. People are going to think what they want to think. If it's REALLY bothering you, you could say something like "Wow, that sounds a little harsh (rude, racist, ignorant etc.)the next time he makes a comment like that. Hopefully he'll get the message.
I really hope this topic does not turn out to be a mud fest. Race and politics in one post? That's tough.
I love obama. He's a great speaker (in my humble opinion) and the media loves him for the most part. McCains biggest problem is that he is not a strong speaker.
I don't care if he is black blue purple or white.
I just like him.
At least we are better of than the french president who married a model who just released a cd. Imagine that, a first lady that debuts her album..
Pretty funny..
First, it is incredibly rude for your employer to make any statement that seems to be critical of Obama for being black...especially considering that you are black. That seems incredibly insensitive.
However, Obama himself is trying to get mileage out of being black...and it seems ot be working...so this is where your employer's frustration comes from...although he expresses it poorly.
And, my understanding is that Obama is only fractionally black...like less than 25%...and that he has far more Middle Eastern heritage than he does black...which, if true, makes him a hypocrite on yet another level.
You should say "oh really, I voted for Hillary." lol. Just to see what he says.
Barack Hussein Obama...how many black American people, fifty years ago, were giving their babies completely middle eastern names...first, middle and last?
I'm just sayin....
How does he get off claiming "pride of heritage" (ONLY for the heritage that he thinks will get him extra votes)...while he does everything possible to distance himself from the other parts of his heritage (the ones that he believes will not be good for getting votes?) And people buy into it. That's the frustration.
If it was me, I would flat-out tell him, "You're offending me with your statements about Obama. In case you haven't noticed, I'm black, and you're making me feel uncomfortable. If these derogatory statements keep coming, whether based off Obama or not, I'll have to quit." But then, I'm the type of person who gets PISSED about that kind of stuff. Don't expect to change him--but maybe you can silence him, at least while you're around, anyway.
Let's all write in Draco Malfoy on our ballots.
And see what happens.
"I am African American, too. You are insulting me by making negative references to black americans. Please stop."
That's all you say.
He has a right to his opinions and to express them, especially in his own home. As long as he is not saying anything overtly racist in your presence, or subtley racist directly to you, you gotta just let it go.
I do not agree with the above quote
"sadly my dear I think it says a lot about him and how he likely thinks of you"
I find that to be a generalization that leads to "racist hysteria"
IMO, it is a misconception that ALL people are racist or prejudice if they comment about someone's color or ethnicity.(If I were you, I would not take the statements out of context. They are political statements and that is ,likely, all they are.)
It is true that some people are racist and prejudice.I am not ignorant or walking around with me eyes closed, I do know it exists and is everywhere.
However in todays PC world, it is often taken to far.
Weather you agree or not with his statement should be based on your political views and not the color of your skin.( or his.)
My statement is directly aimed at the fact that you, yourself, bring up race( I am an African American woman)in the first sentence of your post.
Why is it important that you are an AA woman rather than just an educated woman?
My question is not facetious or meant in a mean spirited way. You felt it was necessary to help make your point. Why?
Just a quick story.
My brother in law is black.( He does not like to be called AA, he says he black. We are a VERY un PC family) Anyhow. In our early 20's, all married but no kids, My husband & I dragged my sister and brother in law into a night club. Called the saddlerack.(Country)
As we were walking in my brother in law said" now, if there ain't no brothas in her, I'm leavin"..I looked at him and said" and if there aren't any short, fat, red heads, I'm leaving too"
We both laughed because our statements were silly.
I agree with MB. It is politics. That is all.
If this man were truly prejudice I doubt highly he would have you in his home by choice. Let alone, pay you to care for his children.
If your boss treats you as an individual with respect and dignity, you should consider that instead of focussing on the fact that he has political veiws regarding one opponents racial background.
This is just one opinion..
I can honestly say that I agree with some of what your boss has to say however he doesn't have to vocalize it in front of you. It is inappropriate! I would just ignore him. He is entitled to his political opinions and so are you. I wouldn't let it bother me one bit. He just lacks tact. Good luck
Hmm, this is a tough one but basically, unless you work IN a political office, FOR a politician or political group, your employer's political views vs. your own have no relevance whatosever in your work setting. The guys sounds like a jerk, but if he isn't making any comments directly TO you, or ABOUT you, or with the clear intent of making you feel intimidated, he has the right to express his own opinions in his own home, even though his home is your place of work. Comparing a politician to Hitler can by no means be interpreted as derogatory or harassing to YOU, though it's understanable if you want to throw the nearest frying pan at his head for his comments.
I kind of like 1:13's suggestion of telling him you voted for Hillary, just to see his reaction, and see if it makes him switch gears to female-stereotyping instead of black-stereotyping.
"Stupidity here makes an easy bedfellow, as always, with racialism" (Christopher Hitchens).
What a very common sense post "Does this moniker". And I LOVE your comeback to your BIL @ the country bar!!
How about you just not take it personal.
He's saying something about Obama, and that's his opinion of him.
If one negative thing is said about a black person, all black people should not automatically take offense to it- that is saying that you somehow feel less than others.
Ever notice how people can joke around to a really pretty person and say they are ugly? The pretty person laughs it off and does not think you are serious, why? because they know they are pretty and they assume you must be joking, well the same applies here. Blacks are equal to whites, if someone says otherwise, laugh it off because they must be joking.
Of course, to throw him off you could throw in some 'white stereotyping' and act really innocent about it- like 2 people sharing laughs about races(n which despite what everone says is absolutely ok, and not at all politically incorrect). Start with McCain, or perhaps Bush is a better one, since he's probably only president because he's white...in fact if Bush were Black, he would have been laughed right out of the race because he's not even well spoken, and his education is questionable. In fact he might not have gone to college if he were not white. He would not have qualified!
A black person has to really be educated to get that far. That is a positive- play on that, all in good nature. This will soon irritate him and perhaps he will stop. In fact say the same thing about McCain, because that's what stereotyping is all about. Like at least we know all the black people in the white house are truly educated, because you know a black person can't skate in because of color, but whatever you do do not take it personal, it only gives him the power
I don't believe in black power, I don't believe in White power. I believe in the power of the people!
Wow, he sounds awful! Why would say something to the female employer rather than talking to him directly? I wouldn't make a huge deal out of it, but maybe mention it next time he makes one of his comments. If you are really not comfortbale with that and and feel more comfortable with the female, I would ask her if she could please talk to him about it and let him know that is bothers you.
Read it and weep.
Mom, I think he is 50/50.
What is your source?
Read it and weep? What, is this debate gonna win you a cookie or something, lol? No need to be rude.
Do you know whether or not if one of his father's parents are white? I think that would kind of boost the percentage a little, don't you think?
It's all about the geneology, and it doesn't stop at his parents.
'scuse me: genealogy
I don't recall where I heard that....which is why I said "my understanding", and "if true." I try not to present things as fact if I am not sure that they are.
I hope you are right and that he is on the up and up about his heritage. I don't know what his grandparents were, and have not the inclination to spend time researching them. I don't really care what he is, unless he is hiding something for his own benefit in the election. Deception is intolerable to me.
The muslim name (I should have said "muslim" and not "middle eastern" in my earlier post...sorry)is still of some concern to me. As is the radical anti-white church he has attended for 20+ years. (You don't go to a church for that long, especially as it seems he was close to the pastor, and NOT know that it has a heavily anti-white sentiment. No way.) It's one thing to want equal rights...it's another to want to "squash whitey." Now he is suddenly distancing himself from his church of 20 years and his pastor.
Either he didn't really attend this church much and used it as a screen, or way to make himself look good politically (or to hide his "Muslimness")...or he went there all those years, heard all of those racist sermons, was OK with those sentiments, and is now trying to backpedal to save his reputation. Either way...it seems rather deceitful.
Who IS this guy, really?
Obama had white ancestors that owned black slaves. I think as early as his great-great grandfather.
Look it up.
A lot of these photos show "step" siblings and family members, not related by blood.
How about this...
as for the WHITEHOUSE..
lets vote a housewife in there with a smoking hot apron, a fabulous budget, a daily routine and some common sense. She will know when to shake her ass and when not to..only to get done what needs to get done. She will know when to speak up or when to shut up. She will stop and ask for directions. Other times she will simply give directions.She will keep her man happy and neither will have a need to stray.She will feed our entire country on a small budget and after putting some away for retirement, she will evenly distribute the rest to others in need.
As any good mama bear would do, she will bring her boys and girls home(no disrepsect..men & women home) to protect her own, other children and people here . She would never expect a family to be apart for years at a time and you better believe that no daddy would ever miss the birth of his child beacuse he was off fighting a war in another country!
The WhiteHouse would smell like homecooking and the country would be in great shape!
I am sorry, I just think this country would be right with a good old fashoined,apron wearing,baby-raising,no nonsense, we have to make this work because it is what we have to work with, no we can't borrow money its a bad idea mommy /nanny behind the desk!
Come on..weren't your mothers freaking amazing when you were a kid?
We were so poor ,yet, my mom would work miracles and we never knew what we were going without!
I have yet to see any presidential cadidate pull off anything nearly miraculous as many moms I know!
Umasslytherin, You have a great idea. I am following suit. Except instead of Malfoy, I will be writing my mothers name in!
And Grandma always said we were Heinz 57..with a little bit of everything when it came to racial or ethnic background...sorry Barack...(tee-hee)
Oh, and I am sorry but Hilary carried her husbands balls around far to long in her purse for me to consider her a serious candidate.
Yeah, thanks. I thought it was a good idea too.
Genealogy speaking: I read Obama's first book, which was an autobiography written after he was the first black Law Review President at Harvard....not yet, or just barely entering politics. His father is of African (now deceased) royalty, who met his Caucasian mother in college. His father had a scholarship of some sort, and had no slave heritage. His mother was from Kansas, or something. He was raised only by mother and mother's parents, as his father returned to Africa when he was very young. He only met his father once at age 10. He also lived in Indonesia (I think) with mother and stepfather for a while, but returned to Hawaii in his early teens to be raised by his maternal grandparents, both Caucasian. There is no middle eastern heritage in Barack Obama.
Regarding the comments by boss: I used to be offended by a colleague who would listen to Christain radio that was constantly insulting Jewish people (like me). I didn't like it, but there was nothing I could do, really, besides tell him directly that it offended me. That's what I'd suggest with your boss. Good luck.
Butt looks big....
You ROCK!
Baracks Obama's pure black wife is from a line of black families that did well for themselves and owned slaves. Black slaves.
OMGOSH..LMAO..tears are literally running down my face!
That is the funniest text I have ever read:
Butt looks big...
You rock!
I can't even type I am laughing so hard!
I must be super tired or really silly right now, cause that seems so funny!
Well, I guess that answers my question"does this moniker make my butt look big?"
You are funny mom!
You were right CFG..this is fun!
Oops! It was meant as nickname...not a commentary on your posterior....which I have no doubt is perfectly round and lovely!
PS LOVE your moniker BTW!
Oh, "does this moniker make my perfectly round and lovely butt look big" ......
did you ever doubt?
You so rock it, girl!
I absofukinlutely LOVED your post!!! You are becoming adored by many!
:)
"Does this moniker make my butt look big" ~
I've seen a lot around here lately ....
And I just wanted to say Congrats to you! I'm sure you know what I mean and why. ☺
No one should talk politics in the workplace--and his home, afterall, is YOUR workplace. When his wife and he made the decision to hire in home help, they should have made the decision to behave as you would in a workplace for the time you are on duty. I'm not saying my husband and I don't slip up sometimes (I am a democrat who voted for Hillary, and he is a die-hard Republican so we often have "spirited discussions" about politics), but we try to be sensitive that we are not alone and recognize that when the nanny is on duty, certain topics should not be discussed. I think next time he brings it up you should just say "Politics is not a topic I feel is appropriate to discuss in my workplace and I would appreciate the same discretion from you".
Oh, you ladies are funny!! I love the adjectives!! Keep it up and my moniker will have to be:
"Does this moniker make my head look big"
CFG, What a difference a day makes..eh? BTW, did I thank you?
Thanks!!
And mom, no worries..I knew what you meant ..it was just one of those things that hit me in a funny way!! You know how that sometimes happens!
I need sleep!!
I'm commenting before reading, so forgive me if I am repetitive.
If the mom is someone who will take dad to task for being an insensitive jerk, speak with her first. Tell her honestly how this crap makes you feel. See if that nips the issue in the bud.
If mom is not going to help, then I think you have several options:
1) "Oh, really...." accompanied by the most disinterested and bored expression you can muster. EVERY SINGLE TIME he says something nasty.
2) "I would rather not talk politics on the job. I'd hate for that sort of thing to cause a rift between us." Rinse and repeat as needed.
3) If he is not already aware of your political affiliations, claim to be a fan of Bob Barr, or McCain. Praise your chosen candidate to the heavens when dad starts his rants. When he says stuff about "all black people this....", remind him that only all - 1 black people think/do/accept xyz, because YOU are voting Libertarian/Republican.
4) "I am a little offended by that comment." Wait for him to bluster, then repeat, "Still, that sort of comment is offensive to me." Eventually he might get the picture.
Good luck!
MPP..Many Thanks!! Yes, I know what you are talking about!!
Crazy huh?
It's all good now~~Afterall, I am learning from the seasoned pros!!
Big props to CFG !
does this moniker make my butt look big...
No need to thank me, it's all you girlfriend. I am so happy for you!!
Tee-hee!!!!
you know, i wouldn't say anything to the wife. she is not going to be able to change him and it will only cause tension in the household if he resents it.
i assume when he says these things you give silent non-verbal clues that a reasonable, sensible person would pick up on. if not, you need to be tactfully exiting out of the converstation emotionaly or physically as soon as possible.
look away, give short answers, seem uninterested in what he says.
don't feed the fire by arguing. arrogant people love to argue. if you can't stand to keep your opinions stuffed inside, you will have to either need to politely defend yourself or, i am afraid to say it, move on to a new job. :(
did i forget to use my moniker? my post got removed...and it was perfectly nice.
I didn't know it was you, Mom. It was under Anonymous. You know I wouldn't delete any of your posts!
Oops. I try to use my moniker...but sometimes I guess I make a mistake!
I was just asking about "perfectly round bottom's" (AKA Butt Looks Big) big success..unless it is a secret.
If it is a secret and you can't tell....well then, Congratulations Butt Looks Big! (For whatever it may be!)
(BLB--I think I like the nickname I gave you...since you found it amusing. Do you mind if I call you that? If you don't like it, I won't)
I would love more than anything to tell you about "BLB", but this is an open forum! However, I'm sure she would agree, it is a really juicy story! LOL
Juicy story? Awww shucks! But I understand.
Maybe Butt Looks Beautiful will tell us herself? (Did you notice I threw in a compliment by way of a bribe, BLB?)
Oddly enough, as a free spirited, liberal registered Democrat, I thought of Hitler once while watching OBAMA speak at a rally. Not because of anything he said or did, but because of the media and public's reaction. I turned to my DH and said, look at those people, it reminds me of old footage of Hitler speaking.
Your Male employer IS entitled to his own opinion. The next time he says something offensive, if you really can't ignore it any longer you can say something like. "I can't discuss that with you, my mother taught me that it's not polite to discuss religion or politics." If it's really terrible for you then look for employment because the guy isn't going anywhere.
Or
to use an example of a similar situation of people saying asinine things to get the other person's goat.
I travel to Maine with my family all the time and we plan to retire there. whenever I go there, My NY accent gives me a way and I have store clerks, waitresses, and people in general say, "Oh you must be from NY, I hate the Yankees they suck." They usually follow that with a huge shit-eating grin like they just proved the theory of relativity. My general response is "Me too! Can't abide the Yankees." The smile usually disappears and they haven't a clue what to say next. I really don't give a rat's behind one way or the other about baseball in general, but just stealing their would be thunder is great! Best of luck to you OP!
Mom
I'm not so sure she will. I think it benefits her the most keeping it to herself. Of course, I'm just giving my 2 cents, so what do I know.
:)
MPP,
I won't take any offense if she chooses to keep mum. After all, some things are best kept private. But I thought I'd just ask in case....
I am the curious sort. It's like having an itch! Agh!
I know exactly what you mean Mom, trust me ... I am the same way!
It's only by happenstance that I am privy to what's going on.
:)
Well, along with responsibility always comes some perks, right?
I hope you are having fun moderating with Jane. IMO she made a great choice for the job!
Does this moniker make my butt look big:
I wish your posts came with sir mix a lot playing in the background!
:)
MOM, sorry to take so long for a response. My charges are on vacation this week...so I am too. Got up and took my daughters to the park & library this morning. See what happens when you don't check the ISYN blog first?
MOM, you are so funny! Yes, I caught that compliment..pretty slick!
For now, mum is the word.Sorry
It not only benefits me, but others too. If we were sitting over a cup of coffee..I'd dish!
I will tell you, I learned a lot while you were away visiting colleges.(I read the other thread where you mentioned that last night)
Congrats to you. Your son sounds so wonderful.
You & I have something in common..we will really miss our sweet sons when they leave for college. Yours, one year ahead of mine!
BTW, I love the nick name(Butt looks Big).You had me laughing my As@ off last night.
Not sure if you caught it when I mentioned it a while back. When I met my husband he had a personal plate on his car that read "nallgas"
I spoke no spanish. He told me it meant "ass end up" and that he had a Bronco that had the rear lifted and this plate came from that car"..I beleived him.
Then a few months later I found out from a friend of his it did indeed mean "ass" and he did indeed like the ass end up..on women though..not cars!
He was scared to tell me because he thought it might scare me away.(this was on our first,blind,date and he did not know me at all)
needless to say, all these years later, that body part still makes it's way into so many family conversations!
I have got to run!
BFN, BLB
Marissa M.. OMG Becky look at her BUTT!!!
baby got back..too classic!!
Funny!!
Mom ~
Thank you for always being so supportive! You are such an incredible person!
Does this moniker make my butt look big ~
Thank you for my laugh for the day! I'm so happy for you, too!
You all just have to watch this hilarious video on youtube about barack and hillary in the sack. it gets funnier as you watch. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMs-p5y6cvo
or search t in youtube as barack obama umbrella
Thank you MPP. I think you're tops too!
Butt Looks Big--I think you came onto the scene while I was away (We were gone almost 2 weeks)because I recall seeing your moniker up when I got back and thinking it was funny...and had no recollection of seeing it before. I am guessing you maybe had a really rough introduction into ISYN? (Although that happens to everybody, so don't feel too bad if you did.)
I didn't see the thing about your husband's licence plate when you mentioned it before. But I have to tell you that I also do not speak Spanish...and I am laughing here because if I saw you driving down the street in a car with a license plate that said "nallgas" I would think you meant it to be read "Anal Gas." I am not kidding. That is what I seriously thought it was meant to say before you explained it. (Not that what it actually means is any better I suppose!)
Yeah, and that body part makes its way into way too many of our discussions too...and we don't even have a vanity plate that mentions it! What is wrong with men!?
Is your son the first who will go to college? I have another who has been away four years now. It's pretty rough at first...but then you get used to it. They tend to visit a lot at first, which makes the transition easier. But my first went only a few hours away, so that's not such a shock to the system. Number two is looking all over the country. Ugh! I went in and told my daughter last night (about to enter high school...and still very much my "little" girl) that I have had enough with kids growing up and moving away...and that she can just count on never driving, dating or moving out. And I told her to plan on going to "College of the Art Room" (we have a room we call the art room...where we do art...surprisingly enough.) We laughed...but oh how I wish I could make that come true sometimes! She quickly pointed out that there may just be a school named that somewhere in the world...maybe in Bangladesh, she said...and that I had just pronmised she could go! UGH!
As much as I would LOVE to write a whole comment about my views of Obama, I won't because I have a feeling I'd be getting a lot of hate. Personally I can not stand the guy and it has nothing to do with his skin color - it's his personality. To me he just comes off as fake and I thought his speech in Berlin was pretty tacky. Thats just my opinion though, OP just ignore your boss or start wearing some Obama shirts around the house.
mom your daughter sounds hilarious! :) Bangladesh, lol!
Hey mom, sorry I did not get back to you last night.
Yes, my son will be the first to lv for college. He is however, looking at a school a few hours a way, like your oldest, so I am thrilled.
Wow, so your youngest is ready for highschool. What fun. It is so different with girls. I wish both of you many fun and exciting memories!
I too, have teased my son about growing up. I have told him for the last few yrs now that I am going to put a stack of books on his head so he can't grow any taller.Boy, it sure goes fast!And the girls...uuhhgg. Were we EVER that aggressive! My Lorrdy!!
My girls are still very small. 2 under 2!(not twins)They keep me on my toes!!
My moniker is indeed new on the scene. Came up with it over a yummie dish and a cup of coffee!(tee-hee)
Every one has been so nice. I am indeed learning just how fun posting/blogging can be!
Just like so many others,I really enjoy your stories mom. When you were talking about having your daughter in your arms for the firts time, I actually felt your excitement and got all choked up!
BFN, I am off to the beach with the family and some friends!
Happy Posting everyone
K..that is funny as heck..Obama t-shirts! What a clever idea!That would be soo funny!! I hope she does it!
better yet, get a little t-shirt for the baby! an obama onesie! :) that would be really evil. but hilarious!
Omg!... Bad Umass, bad Umass! LOL
Obama shirts, too funny! I couldn't do it with a straight face, and I'd be worried he'd knock me out or something. Some people get really hardcore about politics.
Does this moniker make my butt look big, how you doin'? Love the "omg, becky!" Lmao!
Hope you're having a great weekend!
I didn't end up having the time to finish reading this post but wanted to mention a thought I had. My parents do not like talking about politics and thus, they don't. Maybe you can say something to the effect of "I really don't like talking about politics because people's opinions are so different." and find some way to end it nicely by asking him to not. or just end it like that and remind him if necessary.
Good luck!
the comments on this post are terrifyingly racist, smug, self-congratulatory, and packed with hate. you ladies should take a good look at yourselves. no matter what your politics, the level of concern about foreign names and "pure" or "mixed" race--THAT is what Hitler was about.
you should also consider why a "middle eastern" or "muslim" name terrifies you so much. newsflash: all names have an ethnic origin. you're not all panicked that mccain is going to become an terrorist member of the IRA because he's a "mick." it's really disgusting. i'm so glad my mother and stepmother didn't raise me with such ignorance.
Who is it on here today going through the archives and trying to stir up dirt on old posts?
Is this one of the things that was on that troll warning signs list we had here a while back?
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