I went to Church for the first time in years last Sunday and all I could think about was the little girl that I was a nanny for about five years back in Mamaroneck, NY. The girl was 3 and the daughter of an alcoholic mother and drug addict father and money was used to ply her with gifts to detract from the fact that she received little or no parenting and a hell of a lot of dysfunction.
Enter me. Taking my second nanny position. I recognized the girl was sad and cried for her mother all of the time. I recognized the parents fought constantly and talked about killing each other and who was better in bed than their spouse. I think I could have made the child feel better. I could have spent more time with the child.
Instead I got caught up in the parent's craziness because it was thrilling. I accepted gifts of cash, lottery tickets, bottles of vodka, marijuana, cashmere sweaters, boots, pocketbooks, necklaces and I stuck around for ten months. In those ten months, I did a few preschool worksheets with the little girl. I took her to the park maybe twice. I took her to Friendly's quite often, but I adopted the parent's style of caregiving and it was whatever suited my first was important.
I don't know where the girl is now. She would be 15 today. I did call Children's Services on the family when I left, but the family had too much money to be taken to task by something as pedestrian as a state agency. I know this because when I started the job Children's Services was involved. They talked with me, the nanny and toured the beach house and deduced that the report must have been that of a disgruntled employee.
Anyway., I hope if she remembers me, I hope she forgives me. I hope if other nannies find themselves in situations that can be financially prosperous and effortless for them, I hope they don't take the easy way out. I have thought of her often over the past 12 years and not once with pride for how I cared for her or allowed her to be treated.
Sometimes, a child just needs to hear, "This is not normal." or "This is not your fault."
With regret,
Ashley in California now
Enter me. Taking my second nanny position. I recognized the girl was sad and cried for her mother all of the time. I recognized the parents fought constantly and talked about killing each other and who was better in bed than their spouse. I think I could have made the child feel better. I could have spent more time with the child.
Instead I got caught up in the parent's craziness because it was thrilling. I accepted gifts of cash, lottery tickets, bottles of vodka, marijuana, cashmere sweaters, boots, pocketbooks, necklaces and I stuck around for ten months. In those ten months, I did a few preschool worksheets with the little girl. I took her to the park maybe twice. I took her to Friendly's quite often, but I adopted the parent's style of caregiving and it was whatever suited my first was important.
Anyway., I hope if she remembers me, I hope she forgives me. I hope if other nannies find themselves in situations that can be financially prosperous and effortless for them, I hope they don't take the easy way out. I have thought of her often over the past 12 years and not once with pride for how I cared for her or allowed her to be treated.
Sometimes, a child just needs to hear, "This is not normal." or "This is not your fault."
With regret,
Ashley in California now
Any other former nannies with stories to share? Email isynblog@gmail.com.
