Friday

Working with the Manny

Val Muhin
     Has anyone ever worked with a manny before? I started a job two weeks ago working as one of two nannies/mannies. The manny has been there since last summer. There are three children. What I am seeing is when it is something fun like taking a child to the movies or the zoo, he is there, but for homework and making snacks and cleaning up, it's me. Between us we are supposed to handle the kid's laundry too. I don't know if this is his year of seniority or what, but he will do things like say, "I started the laundry, can you just process it and put it away". He says he "started the laundry" like he did the lion share!
     The parents have rules about screen time. I know because I just interviewed with him. When I asked the oldest child to come and do X since his screen time was up, the manny turns and says, "we're a little more relaxed since school is almost over" to which I said, "oh okay, I'm just going by what I was told" and he says, "besides I'm playing too, so you have to double it". Are you even serious?
    The middle child is a girl and this morning he did her hair in a really pretty braid. Rather appropriately, I think, I said, "wow, that's really pretty" to which he said, "And you wondered why I get paid more than you?". I think it was a joke, but wasn't it inappropriate in front of the kids?
    When we played soccer in the park, we split it up so he had the two younger and I had the older, who is an athlete. I am not great at soccer, but played with effort. He played so fiercely. I can't even say the boy minded, I mean maybe it is good for him.  He and I got crushed. Believe me, I am looking for redemptive qualities in this guy. I am considering that he may see me as a threat. I would really like to find common ground and get along with him. This job works REALLY well for my schedule, One Friday he gets off at 2 and the next time I do. For the same pay. That alone is a huge in the life of 10 hour days.
     One more example. I was told she preferred to feed the kids healthy foods, no processed, whole grains, etc. So I was suprised when he came in and saw me at the table with the littlest who wasn't eating her turkey sandwich. He whipped up a nutella and fluff sandwich. I was mortified. I said, "I was told to give them healthy, non processed foods" to which he said, "well I don't do the shopping. I fix what's here." He also tells me all the time, "Consider how big of a deal is it. Is everyone safe? Okay, relax".

     

12 comments:

this_nick said...

Talk to your bosses. It's your job to manage the kids, not the other employee. Bring up your concerns on what they told you versus what he is doing. You deserve clarification here, but you have to ask to get it.

nc said...

I agree. I would bring it up with the parents, just wanting clarification. You were told one thing by them, and he is telling you something different. You just want to make sure you are doing what they are expecting you to do

Amanda said...

And if they bring it up with him its gonna be really awkward working side by side with him. And clearly they like him as he has been working there nearly a year now. Tread carefully and tactfully...

Anonymous said...

just tell him to F$#%#%#% OFF when u get a new job - u can not win this one and it is not worth it.

Jackie said...

I honestly wouldn't say anything. Just go with the flow, I mean, it is good to follow the rules, but he is right - consider the circumstances. If he has the kids jumping off the roof, call the parents. Giving the kid nutella and fluff is really not that big of a deal. Also consider that if it comes down to him or you, it will probably be him. I would keep my mouth shut and just deal.

Heidi said...

I can't think of a manny and not think of Andy from Modern Family. (That was unhelpful, just wanted to point that out.) I think the last comment about them being safe is true, though. If everyone is safe and happy, then things are probably going well. It is tough as a nanny to actually have a coworker, so I think maybe he just doesn't want anything to change. Maybe ask the parents how they want it to work with both of you, but don't make it seem like you are "telling" on him, but more of a clarification.

Maia said...

Sounds like you are working with an Alpha Manny!
I'm sorry that this situation is tough. Please let us know how it goes...

STAHP said...

I'd seek clarification just in case he throws you under the bus. I'd be livid if I told my nanny no processed food and she gave fluff/allowed it to be given. The other stuff is minor all told, but food and electronic time is fireable at my house.

Smalltownnanny said...

I'm on the fence about this one....because honestly pretty much every family I have interviewed with will say they only allow a small amount of TV time and limit junk food for the kids but we as nannies all know that the children watch tv from the moment you leave until they go to bed and gorge themselves on donuts and chips all the time with the parents. So maybe the parents say that with good intentions but the manny knows since he has been there long term that those are things the parents aren't really worries about enforcing. Although the fact that he seems to sort of undermine you in front of the kids could become a problem. I agree with others that said just ask about clarity and wgat both of you working with the kids should like and maybe ask mom what are one and two rules she is very adamant about.

this_nick said...

Of course they're going to bring it up with him. That's the point - to get clarification and to get everyone on the same page. There's no need to tiptoe around it to spare Mr. Manny's pride.

And honestly, that bit where he tells her to "relax" when she brings up how his actions run contrary to the rules the parents laid out is some kinda sexist bullshit. He's implying that because she's questioning him and trying to assert that the parents' directives are followed, she's somehow uptight or hysterical. Um no, she's conscientious. He doesn't seem to grasp what that is since he's not.

this_nick said...

Follow this advice if you want this new job to be a long-term commitment to putting up with shit you don't have to.

Angi said...

O.o Horrible advice. First, the parents are likely not aware that the many is not following their guidelines. If she doesn't say anything, and later issues arise, the parents can fire her for not bringing these things to their attention.