I came home from work early on Thursday and found my nanny sleeping on the floor of the living room. It was 11 AM. She had two sofa pillows on the floor, a throw and my 2 year old's blanket next to her. The TV was on to PBS. My 2 year old was upstairs in my bathroom playing at my vanity. I am torn as to what to do. First, I came home because I did not feel well. The nanny tells me she did not feel well, so she set her and 2yo up on the floor to take a nap but that she must have wandered off. As much as the what could of happened in this scenario scares me, I want to give her another chance. The reason being in 7 months, we have had no issues at all. The only problem I have had with her is that she seems to shy and introverted. I assured her that if she was feeling too sick to work and let me know, I would not leave me child with her. I wanted to ask anonymously if others thought this was okay. If I told people who know us and they tell me to fire her and I don't...well that's a problem. Am I considering everything I need to? PS Nanny is 23 and came with good references. I also have a 6 year old school aged child.
10 comments:
I don't care how sick you are, you don't allow a situation to be where a child's needs are not being met. She should have spoke up, pushed through it or waited until nap time when tot is secured in their own room. A lot could have happened and you have ever thought to be upset. If she can't even speak up when she's sick, what else is she not speaking up about? This isn't something like eating something she wasn't supposed to, she put the child at risk. Your trust is broken and I don't think you'll get it back.
Angi, nanny
ever thought= every right
I think at this point it's a little rash to let her go, assuming your child is happy and seems (otherwise) safe. I think of it this way: could the same have happened to a conscientious and loving parent? I believe so.
As you know, good nannies don't grow on trees, and it's best not to unnecessarily upend your kids' lives with a nanny switch if you don't need to. While I think Angi's call here is a little rash, she makes a good point about the larger picture. If your nanny was afraid to tell you she was sick, are there other things she hides? For example, if your little one falls and hits his head, will she be upfront and tell you, or be too afraid to speak up?
I think a sitdown with your nanny is in order. Explain to her that you need to trust that she will come to you in the event of a problem. It may just be that she didn't start feeling poorly until after you left and just tried to push through. Still, let her know how important keeping the lines of communication is and that she needs to inform you in the event of a problem.
If she's never done this before, I'd forgive this time. Sometimes being ill can come on suddenly not giving you time to notify parents. I once got very ill and the twins were with me. Parents weren't coming back for seven hrs. I took them with me to nearest pharmacy, got some meds that I took right then and there. I managed to get through the day.
Being shy doesn't mean nanny hides things. It could be that she's self-conscious about her illness (stomach bug/cramps etc...) not that there's anything wrong with those ailments.
As I read your post, I was thinking, this one needs a nannycam. This could be a one off thing but it happened and you have every right to put a Nanny can in to see what isn't being reported. Of course let her know in a way that says you want to be able to check I. On the fun stuff throughout the day if you can, but the result will be a Nanny taking less liberties if she was before and one behaving exactly the same if it truley was a one time thing. This could even be effective if you just said you were going to and didn't. Another point I'd like to make on her being too shy is to approach her as a womAn helping another womAn gain some empowerment and communication skills. You don't need to be in a corporate environment to invest in these types of skills in your employee in a completely appropriate and professio am manner. She is 23. God knows I appreciated any mentorship from more experienced and successful women at that age. Of she doesn't want the help then you tried and she can learn things the hard way. The fact is that she spends a substantiAl amount of time with your children and you do need someone that can let you know what is going on. If you are not impressed with her as your nanny and looking for us to nudge you to the girl g side of the fence, I still think at least another few weeks of working with her is worth it for your children's sake. Of it still doesn't seem to help, move on gently and kindly. Best of luck, s
What a coincidence that you come home unannounced at an unusually early time to find this. And who in their right mind takes a nap at work when they are in charge of a two year old. And what competent nanny thinks a two year old is going to sleep when it's not even nap time? I am sorry, but I am a SAHM and even when dealing with food poisoning and a very tiring second pregnancy, I did not take a nap until my husband was home from work to take over watching my two year old. We are grown ups, we suck it up and plod on when we are responsible for tiny human beings. She should have called you to say she could not manage the rest of the day and forgodssakestayedthehellawake til alternative childcare showed up to relieve her. I am sorry, but I do not believe for a second that she was so sick that she had to take a nap, she has most probably been doing whatever the heck she pleases this whole time. and in the unlikely event that she actually was terribly ill, she was ridiculously irresponsible. I would be saying buh-bye.
All things considered... I feel like the responsible thing to do was to wait until the 2 year olds nap time and nap together in the bedroom (enclosed space). Giving her a second chance is entirely up to you. You obviously know her better than anyone on this page.
I've gone to work slightly ill before mostly because I feel a little guilt that if I stay home parents have to stay home and now everyone is missing work.
I've also napped if I didn't get enough sleep the night before. Regardless of the child's age I just don't see it a smart choice to nap in a living room when it isn't nap time.
What if the fed ex guy came and the child went to the door?
What if he got into some cleaning supplies?
So many things...
As I type this I am dealing with back trouble. My back gave out at approximately two pm. I get off at seven. I told my DB. He can't come any sooner so kids and I are sitting on the couch watching a movie. We never watch tv, but as I cant move or do anything else, I made an executive decision. Dads will deal. They appreciate me staying. Sometimes you have to figure ish out!
What you're going through is VASTLY different than the OP. You are awake and I'm sure if anything bad started to happen you could stop it or adrenalin would kick in and you d do your job during anything really bad. Regardless, get well soon! Sit on a yoga ball while you watch TV. Just sit, no need to move. This aligns your some takes pressure off your back and eases you into proper position.
Angi
What did you end up doing OP???
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