The last job I left after being fired for voicing dissent over some of the things my female boss said. I complained to her about how she spoke to me. This is why I was fired. I took issue with her telling me not to sit at the table with the kids, that I should stand and she would also refer to me..always laughing as a "fucking cunt". If I wasn't as happy as she thought I would be, she would say, "what's up your snatch today, " or..."you need to get fucked." She wouldn't say it openly in front of the children but she would say it when they weren't around or if they were, dramatically mouth something. One time she was picking up her daughter at school instead of me and as she left the house, she said to the dishwasher guy, "she wants you to have dirty sex with you on the kitchen table". Like she thought it was funny.
I had an interview last night with a woman who asked me, "Are you straight, gay, bi?" I responded, "I don't think that has any bearing on how I do my job". She responded, "Well as long as you're not one of those that has to be fucked through a sheet". And she and her personal assistant laughed like hyenas.
I had an interview last Tuesday with a Mom who took pride in not getting her sh*t together. She told me before the meeting that it would just be us and we would meet away from the children. I understood that. Then she starts talking about dance and gymnastics and doesn't know when it is, so she SCREAMS for her daughter. Like 8 times. Then the daughter comes down and the mom asked her questions about her schedule. The girl was like 9 and recited the dates and times. The mom then waves her away. Way to invalidate your child and make her feel unimportant in front of a person.
Where are the normal people? Why is it only sociopaths pay on the books? I had an interview with a father and mother. We met in their actual study. It was very harsh and severe. They were on one side, two chairs cramped behind one desk and I was on the other side with two big chairs. The father had his computer up and was taking notes. Then he said, "I know you weren't expecting this, but what we like to do is have the nanny bring up her twitter, facebook and instagram and review it with her. It can be a deal breaker or deal maker". I said, "you want me to sign in to my account right now" and he said, "I'm afraid so, otherwise, we may only see a censored version.". I was under so much pressure, I agreed, against my better judgment. But they didn't just look for smut or drug use, they looked through my pictures and asked, "and who is this" and "when were you in Florida?"I wanted to end the interview but sat through because I have these two powerful people looking at me from one side of the desk.
I'll say it. I'm ready to accept $14. an hour off the books, so long as I don't have to deal with the BS of the UES Parents!
I had an interview last night with a woman who asked me, "Are you straight, gay, bi?" I responded, "I don't think that has any bearing on how I do my job". She responded, "Well as long as you're not one of those that has to be fucked through a sheet". And she and her personal assistant laughed like hyenas.
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| Claire Mohjer |
Where are the normal people? Why is it only sociopaths pay on the books? I had an interview with a father and mother. We met in their actual study. It was very harsh and severe. They were on one side, two chairs cramped behind one desk and I was on the other side with two big chairs. The father had his computer up and was taking notes. Then he said, "I know you weren't expecting this, but what we like to do is have the nanny bring up her twitter, facebook and instagram and review it with her. It can be a deal breaker or deal maker". I said, "you want me to sign in to my account right now" and he said, "I'm afraid so, otherwise, we may only see a censored version.". I was under so much pressure, I agreed, against my better judgment. But they didn't just look for smut or drug use, they looked through my pictures and asked, "and who is this" and "when were you in Florida?"I wanted to end the interview but sat through because I have these two powerful people looking at me from one side of the desk.
I'll say it. I'm ready to accept $14. an hour off the books, so long as I don't have to deal with the BS of the UES Parents!
Need to rant? Email isynblog@gmail.com.
6 comments:
Wow. You put up with way more than I ever would! I've never had any of that and I've always worked on the books!! The social media thing is a complete invasion. And I would have ended the interview then and there when she mistreated her child. The sexual comments would have sent me screaming for the hills! Boundaries people! Boundaries!!
I think each paragraph is someone different FTR
Ha! Teach me to comment pre coffee
When will people who call themselves professionals start demanding to be treated as actual professionals???
There is no way on this green earth that I would tolerate ANY of the above things. I am good at what I do, and because of my expertise, education, and experience I am on the high end for nannies in the area. I expect a fair rate, always utilize a work agreement, will only take legally paid positions, and expect to be treated professionally. This is all non-negotiable for me. Why? Because I am am a professional. Still, I come across parents who are creepers, pervs, mentally questionable, substance dependent dilettantes as well as parents who want the creme de la creme of nannies for less than $2/hour. I do not take these jobs. When these positions come my way, I avoid them like the plague, and when I have chosen poorly and have found myself working for a parent like that, I leave.
People need to understand that in order to be treated with professionalism that they must expect to be treated thusly - and not accept less. When less is given, they need to stand up for themselves and find a place where they are treated appropriately.
ITA! Nannies need to stop being so afraid of losing a job that they'll accept anything! I have absolutely no problem walking out of a bad situation. Vet your NF before hand. Look into their online presence. Ask about their previous nannies. Use a contract. Establish boundaries ASAP! Do not seek to be treated as family. You're a professional! Act as such and parents will follow your lead. If they don't. Give notice and leave.
I use to be like that, accepting any job no matter what, wether it was a syco family, accepted being treated like crap because I was TERRIFIED on what would happened if I lost my job and the financial consequences that would follow...
I trapped myself in a vicious circle for 3 years accepting bad jobs, bad deals, not being on the books and being miserable as hell.
It actually happened when I was in my early twenties ( I'm 25 now). I believe that most nannies that are being taken advantage of are young and naive like I was and hope that things will get better. IT WILL NOT
One day, I woke up and though: FUCK IT, I'm going to take a risk and quit my jobs that I was so miserable in, search for a new one and this time, I new EXACTLY what I was looking for, expressed my criterias to the families i interviewed with in the very beginning and being upfront with what I though was fair.
Needless to say , I got rejected by a couple families that wanted a more "manipulable" nanny but eventually, I came across the kind of employer I was looking for and I'm now very happy for a year now and hope to stay with them long term!
Unfortunately , there is a considerable number of nannies (which they like to call au pair/mother help as an excuse not to pay them fairly) that are specialised in hiring young and naive people like I was, don't have a problem of not keeping the same person for a long time and hire the ones desperate enough to put up with their exploitation until she's had enough. Then, they just fire her and hire the next pigeon and so on until the kids are old enough not to need a nanny. In fact, these parents TRAIN them not to get attached to their caregiver and therefore those kids end up treating their nannies the same way their parents does.
This is is one of the reasons I don't work for employers that had too many nannies as this is one of the ways to "filter" potential bad employers.
You should stand by your values and wait until you have found the right position that fulfill you ecthical and financial needs.
Finally, one of the comment is right, people will treat you the way you allow them to. I've learned it the hard way.
Good luck :D
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