Is it appropriate for a female nanny to work in a situation where the dad works from home? Why or why not? What precautions should be taken?
38 comments:
Tamm
said...
I do not think it is appropriate. For the same reason we don't let kids play with guns. Even if it is unloaded and most likely safe, it isn't worth the risk. Most dads are probably great, and the nanny will probably be safe with him, why take that tiny chance?
I think it's ok. A work at home mom could just as easily be a criminal. So maybe we should just rule out all work at home parents?
I'm honestly a little shocked that in 2012 we still have the belief that men are just raging rapists that can be provoked at any encounter with a female.
I currently work in a situation with a WAHD. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, and he hasn't done a thing to legitimately make me uncomfortable.
I just don't really like the idea of being virtually alone in a home with a man who is taller than me by about a foot and outweighs me by a 100 or more pounds. I took the job because I really needed work. The job is through an agency so I feel a little better.
I can't so no one should ever , but I understand why someone wouldn't be comfortable with it.
It's probably safe 99.9% of the time, but it's always the . 1% that turns into tragedies it's always the ones that seemed nice that turned to be evil. You never can be too careful.
I babysit several nights a week for a young mom who still lives home with dad for a little over 2 years. I will admit it was a little awkward at first. Mom is only one year older than I am and her dad is about 41.(His high school yearbook is on the coffee table lol)He is almost never there when I arrive, but she has a propensity to stay out very late so he usually comes home,feeds the dog and goes to bed. I don't mind him. The kids love their "pawpaw" and he has always been very respectful of me. In the 21/2 years there, I have seen her family divorce and move out of their house and grandma (pawpaws wife),aunt (youngest daughter) move out of state as well as the children's father slowly leave the picture. I feel if I left them now, they would be very sad!I just love them so much. I have been sitting for the youngest since he was 2 months old. NOW for the FLIP side: I was a nanny to family a while back with a dad who was a police officer, so sometimes he was there sleeping and would get up and leave for night shift work. Their oldest daughter who was 7 asked me if I could turn on the FAMILY laptop so we could go on American Girl.com and make a birthday wish list. I saw nothing wrong with the request as it's there for the kids and I to use here and there and I LOVE American Girl dolls!. I opened it up and PORN!PORN!PORN! Luckily she didn't see it, but this did happen several more times while he and I were home, and once there was a PPV adult movie left on the FAMILY TV. He wasn't a bad person I'm sure and he had a beautiful wife I just found him to be very careless, bordering on creepy. I worked there for 2 years.
Oh please...I have been raped and attacked by a mutual friend who I was alone in a house with while waiting for friends and I don't even believe every Guy should be assumed to be dangerous. 1. What a strange life to lead to be afraid of males like that and 2. Like a pp said, I'm shocked that in 2012 women still view women like this. I've been in lots of therapy after what happened and cannot let my fears of what has happened in the past dictate how I live my life now. Although I do always carry either a small breath spray or sample perfume spray in my pocket or bra so I could spray it in someone's eyes if I was attacked. Although that has more to do with the fact that if I pull a double at the hospital I'm walking alone at night.
I've worked for work at home dad's before and have yet to have a problem. Usually they stay back in their office and come out sometime for lunch, make a little small talk and go back to their work. I've never felt uncomfortable with them there. But in the same way that I wouldn't accept a job with a MB I wouldn't feel comfortable with I wouldn't accept a job with a DB I wouldn't feel comfortable with.
I should say I worked there 2 years prior to that all happening, and about a month after it began to happen a lot! I found a new nanny job with parents who are practically never home now. SO much better!!
Tamm .....based on your opening comment, I assume that you also think male nannies are all creepy pedophiles?
OP: I currently work in a home where the father works from home. I've never had any issues, nor felt uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong at all with any work from home parent of either gender. It's all about each individual nannies comfort level.
I am not sure "appropriate" is the right word, because the comfort level of the adults involved (nanny, father, and father's partner) need to be considered. If a nanny is offered a job with an at home parent, she needs to weigh several possible negatives when making her decision.
I wouldn't declare jobs with at home fathers 100% off limits, but I would pay attention to my instincts, and take care to be thoroughly professional at all times.
The nanny-parent relationship is supposed to be one based on complete trust. If you can't trust yourself to be alone in the house all day long with your DB, do not accept the position. It is as simple as that.
Right now my situation has the mom and grandpa home all the time and I love it. My last job was split between the mom's and dad's houses. When I was at dad's house, he was always at home, sometimes asleep, sometimes working in his office. I didn't particularly like it because like I've said before, he was an asshole, but I trusted him not to do anything to harm me. A job I had a few years ago had the dad working from home about 25% of the time and he never bothered me a bit, he was a wonderful man.
Besides, you can't stop the dad from coming home at any point during the day anyway, so if he was really intent on raping you, working outside the home isn't going to stop him. That's why you have to just trust your employers.
I have worked in a home with a WAHD for almost 4 years now and have never had a problem. He stays to his office and I see him maybe 3 times a day - never for more than 10 minutes. My husband stops by periodically and gets along great with DB. I really think it depends on person(s) involved. Everyone is different. I completely agree with what the above poster (Lyn) said. You have to be comfortable!
Act as you would in an professional office setting. For some reason, nannies seem to forget they are professionals. Use good common sense and be a good employee. If the nanny is ignoring the Dad and putting her full attention on the children, then she won't notice if Dad has ideas. It takes two.
PS After I stopped caring for children and went to work for a hedge fund, I got a lot of unwanted male attention that today would be called sexual harassment. Since I loved my job, and it was really hard, I kept my head down and worked and worked and worked to do my best. When I realized a man was coming onto me, I just looked at him with a blank stare, as if I was seeing an alien, and kept moving. It left the man speechless, (he was used to SOME response.) I found out later I was the only female who didn't get passed around, and I was the only female who broke the glass ceiling, was made an officer of the bank, and made it to the board room as a regional vice president. If you have respect for yourself, others will too.
I had a summer nanny job a few years ago where the dad often worked from home. I did not like when he was there but that was only because I hated that he knew my every move. I also had that same feeling when the mother worked from home so it had nothing to do with his being male. I don't think the thought ever crossed my mind to be worried that he would cross the line. It definitely depends on the DB in particular and the nanny's feelings.
I think that depends on your own experiences, cultures, and beliefs.
In my opinion it can be fine.
If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable working with an at-home dad don't accept those positions. But, you can't expect for a family to change their lifestyle to suit you.
If you're worried about safety trust your instincts. If your worried about an affair be professional and demand to be treated the same way.
I would not work for work at home parents, male or female. And if I were lucky enough to be able to work from home, I would not hire a nanny. I would save a ton on childcare!
Years ago, I had a position where the dad worked from home every so often. Didn't make me fell uncomfortable, just awkward.
I have worked for 2 WAHM's, and the first relationship was awful, as she was always nit picking everything I did when she was there. I couldn't wait for her to leave, so I could do my job in peace. The second WAHM was wonderful and I was sad when that position ended.
Could I work in a home with a WAHD? It depends....
I'm on a different computer guys that's why my account is not signing me in for my pic to show up.
I am not sure what you mean by precautions. Is this stay at home dad a predator? Is he dangerous? I think you should start off by treating him like a human being. Don't assume he is a bad man. He needs to give you a reason to take precautions. I am sure you are a smart girl. Control the situation. Only talk to him briefly.
One thing that I leared pretty early on is to NOT make eye contact. I have no issue being around men at all. But sometimes eye contact is taken the wrong way. I never realized I didn't even look into mens eyes until my husband pointed it out. SOmetimes they misunderstand that as trying to make a connection. Then you would either have a man who thinks you are coming on to him and he will be uncomfortable and tell his wife or he will be down for it.
Also I guess don't do the "classic" female I'm flirting with you stuff. When you do this YOU are the one making the moves not him.
But he is a person and not all men are bad so I am confused as to why you would just assume the worst. Use your instincts
can you please describe what you mean by attractive? Also can you please go into detail about why you think it depends on the level of "attractiveness"
If a man is going to cheat he will cheat no matter what the woman looks like. Also everyone has their own opinion on what is attractive. I also don't understand why you think a man can be affected by a woman if she is ugly or not.
My very first nanny job 7 years ago was with a family with a stay at home dad. I was there for 2 years, and there was NEVER an issue as far as him making me feel uncomfortable. He was completely normal, a gentleman, and was basically in his office in a complete opposite end of a huge house the entire time, and I usually kept the kids out at the park or doing other activities anyway for most of the day.
The only thing about it that I didn't like, was that sometimes if I said "no" to the kids for something, they would throw a fit and run and ask him for whatever they wanted. But as far as anything else went, it worked out fine and gave me a very good reference to move on to other jobs when this family moved out of state. He was there, so he could tell them exactly how I worked with the kids, things he saw me do with them, etc. I still keep in touch with this family, so in my experience this has worked, but I think it depends on each individual, your comfort level, and how you feel when you meet them at the interview. I think you should trust your gut on most things. If you feel weird, don't take the job.
Sorry for the anonymous comment above. I didn't read the rules first and I'm new here. That above comment was from me, so I'll enter a name this time! :)
UMass Slytherin: And if I were lucky enough to be able to work from home, I would not hire a nanny. I would save a ton on childcare!"
Can you please explain how you would expect to get *any* work done if you worked at home and didn't hire childcare? Do you think work-at-home parents hire nannies because they WANT to ignore their kids and pay through the nose for quality care?
No, they do that because if you have children young enough to be at home and not in school, they need constant supervision and plentiful interaction. Try providing that and finishing a spreadsheet or a proposal or a translation.
No kidding, LS. I was going to say something but didn't want to be the first to point out how illogical UMass was being. My MB is a WAHM and she is on conference calls all the time. I highly doubt she would be able to properly care for the baby if I wasn't there.
Why would it be inappropriate? Many dads work from home.
Also regarding the lady who says to not make eye contact. I'm sorry but personally, I don't trust anyone who dosn't make eye contact. I make eye contact with all sorts of men, look at them straight in the eye when I talk. If the misinterpret that, it's their problem not mine.
I used to work for a family where the dad would come home from work, do stuff for a couple of hours and left. Then eventually when he quit his job spent a lot of time at home, and never once did he try anything with me. We had a very close relationship (as friends, I was also friends with the mom). He never misinterpreted anything or try to pull any moves.
It depends on what you do, and how old your child is. A lot of parents work from home so that they can be with their children and not pay for childcare. It doesn't mean you are ignoring your children in every situation. Some examples are home childcare, transcription (I have a friend who does this when her infant is sleeping, and she does well) or working from home doing data entry. One of my family members does this and she has never had a nanny and her children were always well taken care of and never ignored.
Of course if you have a job where you need to focus completely on your work from 8 to 6, you would need a nanny. That is not the type of job I was referring to.
I did not mean anything negative towards wahparents.
Miss Mannah, you love pointing out when you feel I am being illogical. I'm sure you wanted to be first.
Not every man is a pig. I know alot of professional, respectful males who respect there nannies/sitters. I don't see a problem with it. That is until he starts getting to personal and its making the caregiver uncomfortable.
Believe it or not, I don't try to "stir the pot" as many have accused me of here. Your comment struck me as odd, but I was going to leave it be, until I saw I was not alone in my opinion.
My father taught me to say what I mean and mean what I say...the first time. Maybe you should take that lesson to heart to avoid future confusion.
Miss Mannah, I respect your opinion that my comments irritate you and that you enjoy insulting me. Have fun with that, honey. I hope it's working for you.
My father taught me that nobody is perfect. A good lesson that I'm sorry you never learned.
Oh yes its fine! I had a job where I dealt with Dad far more then mom and he sometimes worked from home. Akward at first but unless either of you is attracted to the other then its fine. Seriously its 2012...not 1950 We aren't helpless little girls who are delicate and can't think for ourselves And its AMERICA not the middle east To even ask such a question makes you sound naive...
ok. well let me explain better. I don't look at men in the eye because I'm in a relationship. It is a matter of respect that i didn't know that I did. And this is for strangers. Men I know well I do. That is just what has worked for me. If I don't look at a man he thinks I'm ignoring him and he leaves me alone. worked every time. There are the occiasional men who don't care and will follow me around but those aren't that big a deal until i lead them back to my scary husband. lol....luvs
but I do agree that i don't typically trust people who don't make eye contact. But from my experience with men not making eye contact is a very subtle way to indicate that you are not interested in him without being rude about it. And you don't sit there with your head down when they speak to you. You look at them but you don't lock your eyes so to speak. Technically men don't really look at my eyes either. I have a naturally very large bust for my size and that seems to get the most attention. By men and women. I had one girl that I just met grope me because she wanted to see if they were real. It isn't cool. But those are issues specifically to me. So I was just offering my insight on what I know works. No locking eyes then they get the hint. If they were going to do anything at all
also some work at home parents don't do in home childcare but it depends on what you do and how old your kids are. My mom works from home she did ever since I can remember. I even remember when her water broke at midnight and she went had my sister and 2 days later was working again. I was older then, 6 years older than my sister so I was the one who was "childcare"
everyone's situation is unique and no family can conform into the same mold.
I don't think it's the ideal situation...sometimes my MB or DB telework from home and it drives me nuts because I feel as though they hover when I have a routine very down to T. I guess it really depends on what you are comfortable with. Use your judgement here. I don't see an issue if he is working in an office and not hanging with you and the kids all day...
Not every DB is out to get the nanny and vice versa! For the posters saying you are just asking for trouble...they are either insecure wives or scandalous nannies. My DB is like family to me. If he works from home for the day it doesn't many me uncomfortable because there are no weird intentions there. He's working. From home. That's it.
I worked 3 years with a stay-at-home-dad. What an enormous pain in the ass! He babbled for hours on end trying to impress me with his intelligence. I was NOT impressed. He would interfere in nearly everything! It would take me forever to get those kids to take a nap! They wanted an umpteenth kiss from daddy and he would not put a stop to it, but yet God forbid one of the kids were having a tantrum during his "conference calls!" He took his job seriously, but my job was not a job at all in his eyes, it was a "privilege" to care for his kids. Blech! I've worked for stay at home moms but they seemed to understand it was not in anyone's best interest to undermine the nanny's authority. Sorry, I babbled. You may have a different experience but I would advise steering clear of stay at home daddies!
I don't understand why when someone clearly states that they assume MOST dads are good guys, people respond as if they said they assume all dads are predators? No one said that! We are just saying we don't want to feel uncomfortable, and we don't want to take the tiny, infinitesimal chance that something bad will happen.
38 comments:
I do not think it is appropriate. For the same reason we don't let kids play with guns. Even if it is unloaded and most likely safe, it isn't worth the risk. Most dads are probably great, and the nanny will probably be safe with him, why take that tiny chance?
I think it's ok. A work at home mom could just as easily be a criminal. So maybe we should just rule out all work at home parents?
I'm honestly a little shocked that in 2012 we still have the belief that men are just raging rapists that can be provoked at any encounter with a female.
I currently work in a situation with a WAHD. I'm not entirely comfortable with it, and he hasn't done a thing to legitimately make me uncomfortable.
I just don't really like the idea of being virtually alone in a home with a man who is taller than me by about a foot and outweighs me by a 100 or more pounds.
I took the job because I really needed work.
The job is through an agency so I feel a little better.
I can't so no one should ever , but I understand why someone wouldn't be comfortable with it.
It's probably safe 99.9% of the time, but it's always the . 1% that turns into tragedies it's always the ones that seemed nice that turned to be evil.
You never can be too careful.
I know peope hate cell phones, but I have mine and I'm texting all day.
My family also knows where I am during the day.
So if someone doesn't hear from me or if I don't show up by the end of the day. They'll know something is wrong.
I carry pepper spray. I've take self defense and thinking of enrolling in another class.
It's just something I think every lady should have in her toolbox.
I babysit several nights a week for a young mom who still lives home with dad for a little over 2 years. I will admit it was a little awkward at first. Mom is only one year older than I am and her dad is about 41.(His high school yearbook is on the coffee table lol)He is almost never there when I arrive, but she has a propensity to stay out very late so he usually comes home,feeds the dog and goes to bed. I don't mind him. The kids love their "pawpaw" and he has always been very respectful of me. In the 21/2 years there, I have seen her family divorce and move out of their house and grandma (pawpaws wife),aunt (youngest daughter) move out of state as well as the children's father slowly leave the picture. I feel if I left them now, they would be very sad!I just love them so much. I have been sitting for the youngest since he was 2 months old.
NOW for the FLIP side:
I was a nanny to family a while back with a dad who was a police officer, so sometimes he was there sleeping and would get up and leave for night shift work. Their oldest daughter who was 7 asked me if I could turn on the FAMILY laptop so we could go on American Girl.com and make a birthday wish list. I saw nothing wrong with the request as it's there for the kids and I to use here and there and I LOVE American Girl dolls!. I opened it up and PORN!PORN!PORN! Luckily she didn't see it, but this did happen several more times while he and I were home, and once there was a PPV adult movie left on the FAMILY TV. He wasn't a bad person I'm sure and he had a beautiful wife I just found him to be very careless, bordering on creepy. I worked there for 2 years.
Oh please...I have been raped and attacked by a mutual friend who I was alone in a house with while waiting for friends and I don't even believe every Guy should be assumed to be dangerous. 1. What a strange life to lead to be afraid of males like that and 2. Like a pp said, I'm shocked that in 2012 women still view women like this. I've been in lots of therapy after what happened and cannot let my fears of what has happened in the past dictate how I live my life now. Although I do always carry either a small breath spray or sample perfume spray in my pocket or bra so I could spray it in someone's eyes if I was attacked. Although that has more to do with the fact that if I pull a double at the hospital I'm walking alone at night.
I've worked for work at home dad's before and have yet to have a problem. Usually they stay back in their office and come out sometime for lunch, make a little small talk and go back to their work. I've never felt uncomfortable with them there. But in the same way that I wouldn't accept a job with a MB I wouldn't feel comfortable with I wouldn't accept a job with a DB I wouldn't feel comfortable with.
I should say I worked there 2 years prior to that all happening, and about a month after it began to happen a lot!
I found a new nanny job with parents who are practically never home now. SO much better!!
Sigh that should say view men not women
Tamm .....based on your opening comment, I assume that you also think male nannies are all creepy pedophiles?
OP: I currently work in a home where the father works from home. I've never had any issues, nor felt uncomfortable. There is nothing wrong at all with any work from home parent of either gender. It's all about each individual nannies comfort level.
I am not sure "appropriate" is the right word, because the comfort level of the adults involved (nanny, father, and father's partner) need to be considered. If a nanny is offered a job with an at home parent, she needs to weigh several possible negatives when making her decision.
I wouldn't declare jobs with at home fathers 100% off limits, but I would pay attention to my instincts, and take care to be thoroughly professional at all times.
The nanny-parent relationship is supposed to be one based on complete trust. If you can't trust yourself to be alone in the house all day long with your DB, do not accept the position. It is as simple as that.
Right now my situation has the mom and grandpa home all the time and I love it. My last job was split between the mom's and dad's houses. When I was at dad's house, he was always at home, sometimes asleep, sometimes working in his office. I didn't particularly like it because like I've said before, he was an asshole, but I trusted him not to do anything to harm me. A job I had a few years ago had the dad working from home about 25% of the time and he never bothered me a bit, he was a wonderful man.
Besides, you can't stop the dad from coming home at any point during the day anyway, so if he was really intent on raping you, working outside the home isn't going to stop him. That's why you have to just trust your employers.
I have worked in a home with a WAHD for almost 4 years now and have never had a problem. He stays to his office and I see him maybe 3 times a day - never for more than 10 minutes. My husband stops by periodically and gets along great with DB. I really think it depends on person(s) involved. Everyone is different. I completely agree with what the above poster (Lyn) said. You have to be comfortable!
Act as you would in an professional office setting. For some reason, nannies seem to forget they are professionals. Use good common sense and be a good employee. If the nanny is ignoring the Dad and putting her full attention on the children, then she won't notice if Dad has ideas. It takes two.
PS After I stopped caring for children and went to work for a hedge fund, I got a lot of unwanted male attention that today would be called sexual harassment. Since I loved my job, and it was really hard, I kept my head down and worked and worked and worked to do my best. When I realized a man was coming onto me, I just looked at him with a blank stare, as if I was seeing an alien, and kept moving. It left the man speechless, (he was used to SOME response.) I found out later I was the only female who didn't get passed around, and I was the only female who broke the glass ceiling, was made an officer of the bank, and made it to the board room as a regional vice president. If you have respect for yourself, others will too.
I had a summer nanny job a few years ago where the dad often worked from home. I did not like when he was there but that was only because I hated that he knew my every move. I also had that same feeling when the mother worked from home so it had nothing to do with his being male. I don't think the thought ever crossed my mind to be worried that he would cross the line. It definitely depends on the DB in particular and the nanny's feelings.
I think that depends on your own experiences, cultures, and beliefs.
In my opinion it can be fine.
If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable working with an at-home dad don't accept those positions.
But, you can't expect for a family to change their lifestyle to suit you.
If you're worried about safety trust your instincts.
If your worried about an affair be professional and demand to be treated the same way.
I would not work for work at home parents, male or female. And if I were lucky enough to be able to work from home, I would not hire a nanny. I would save a ton on childcare!
Years ago, I had a position where the dad worked from home every so often. Didn't make me fell uncomfortable, just awkward.
I have worked for 2 WAHM's, and the first relationship was awful, as she was always nit picking everything I did when she was there. I couldn't wait for her to leave, so I could do my job in peace. The second WAHM was wonderful and I was sad when that position ended.
Could I work in a home with a WAHD? It depends....
I'm on a different computer guys that's why my account is not signing me in for my pic to show up.
I am not sure what you mean by precautions. Is this stay at home dad a predator? Is he dangerous? I think you should start off by treating him like a human being. Don't assume he is a bad man. He needs to give you a reason to take precautions. I am sure you are a smart girl. Control the situation. Only talk to him briefly.
One thing that I leared pretty early on is to NOT make eye contact. I have no issue being around men at all. But sometimes eye contact is taken the wrong way. I never realized I didn't even look into mens eyes until my husband pointed it out. SOmetimes they misunderstand that as trying to make a connection. Then you would either have a man who thinks you are coming on to him and he will be uncomfortable and tell his wife or he will be down for it.
Also I guess don't do the "classic" female I'm flirting with you stuff. When you do this YOU are the one making the moves not him.
But he is a person and not all men are bad so I am confused as to why you would just assume the worst. Use your instincts
I think it depends on how pretty the Nanny is. If she is attractive, then it is inappropriate in my humble opinion.
If she is not attractive, then it is okay.
Truth Seeker
can you please describe what you mean by attractive? Also can you please go into detail about why you think it depends on the level of "attractiveness"
If a man is going to cheat he will cheat no matter what the woman looks like. Also everyone has their own opinion on what is attractive. I also don't understand why you think a man can be affected by a woman if she is ugly or not.
I feel that your comment makes you appear shallow
My very first nanny job 7 years ago was with a family with a stay at home dad. I was there for 2 years, and there was NEVER an issue as far as him making me feel uncomfortable. He was completely normal, a gentleman, and was basically in his office in a complete opposite end of a huge house the entire time, and I usually kept the kids out at the park or doing other activities anyway for most of the day.
The only thing about it that I didn't like, was that sometimes if I said "no" to the kids for something, they would throw a fit and run and ask him for whatever they wanted. But as far as anything else went, it worked out fine and gave me a very good reference to move on to other jobs when this family moved out of state. He was there, so he could tell them exactly how I worked with the kids, things he saw me do with them, etc. I still keep in touch with this family, so in my experience this has worked, but I think it depends on each individual, your comfort level, and how you feel when you meet them at the interview. I think you should trust your gut on most things. If you feel weird, don't take the job.
Sorry for the anonymous comment above. I didn't read the rules first and I'm new here. That above comment was from me, so I'll enter a name this time! :)
UMass Slytherin: And if I were lucky enough to be able to work from home, I would not hire a nanny. I would save a ton on childcare!"
Can you please explain how you would expect to get *any* work done if you worked at home and didn't hire childcare? Do you think work-at-home parents hire nannies because they WANT to ignore their kids and pay through the nose for quality care?
No, they do that because if you have children young enough to be at home and not in school, they need constant supervision and plentiful interaction. Try providing that and finishing a spreadsheet or a proposal or a translation.
No kidding, LS. I was going to say something but didn't want to be the first to point out how illogical UMass was being. My MB is a WAHM and she is on conference calls all the time. I highly doubt she would be able to properly care for the baby if I wasn't there.
Why would it be inappropriate? Many dads work from home.
Also regarding the lady who says to not make eye contact. I'm sorry but personally, I don't trust anyone who dosn't make eye contact. I make eye contact with all sorts of men, look at them straight in the eye when I talk. If the misinterpret that, it's their problem not mine.
I used to work for a family where the dad would come home from work, do stuff for a couple of hours and left. Then eventually when he quit his job spent a lot of time at home, and never once did he try anything with me. We had a very close relationship (as friends, I was also friends with the mom). He never misinterpreted anything or try to pull any moves.
It depends on what you do, and how old your child is. A lot of parents work from home so that they can be with their children and not pay for childcare. It doesn't mean you are ignoring your children in every situation. Some examples are home childcare, transcription (I have a friend who does this when her infant is sleeping, and she does well) or working from home doing data entry. One of my family members does this and she has never had a nanny and her children were always well taken care of and never ignored.
Of course if you have a job where you need to focus completely on your work from 8 to 6, you would need a nanny. That is not the type of job I was referring to.
I did not mean anything negative towards wahparents.
Miss Mannah, you love pointing out when you feel I am being illogical. I'm sure you wanted to be first.
p.s. There are plenty of parents who pay big bucks so that they can ignore their children. That's just a fact.
Not every man is a pig. I know alot of professional, respectful males who respect there nannies/sitters. I don't see a problem with it. That is until he starts getting to personal and its making the caregiver uncomfortable.
Believe it or not, I don't try to "stir the pot" as many have accused me of here. Your comment struck me as odd, but I was going to leave it be, until I saw I was not alone in my opinion.
My father taught me to say what I mean and mean what I say...the first time. Maybe you should take that lesson to heart to avoid future confusion.
Miss Mannah, I respect your opinion that my comments irritate you and that you enjoy insulting me. Have fun with that, honey. I hope it's working for you.
My father taught me that nobody is perfect. A good lesson that I'm sorry you never learned.
Oh yes its fine! I had a job where I dealt with Dad far more then mom and he sometimes worked from home. Akward at first but unless either of you is attracted to the other then its fine.
Seriously its 2012...not 1950
We aren't helpless little girls who are delicate and can't think for ourselves
And its AMERICA not the middle east
To even ask such a question makes you sound naive...
ok. well let me explain better. I don't look at men in the eye because I'm in a relationship. It is a matter of respect that i didn't know that I did. And this is for strangers. Men I know well I do. That is just what has worked for me. If I don't look at a man he thinks I'm ignoring him and he leaves me alone. worked every time. There are the occiasional men who don't care and will follow me around but those aren't that big a deal until i lead them back to my scary husband. lol....luvs
but I do agree that i don't typically trust people who don't make eye contact. But from my experience with men not making eye contact is a very subtle way to indicate that you are not interested in him without being rude about it. And you don't sit there with your head down when they speak to you. You look at them but you don't lock your eyes so to speak. Technically men don't really look at my eyes either. I have a naturally very large bust for my size and that seems to get the most attention. By men and women. I had one girl that I just met grope me because she wanted to see if they were real. It isn't cool. But those are issues specifically to me. So I was just offering my insight on what I know works. No locking eyes then they get the hint. If they were going to do anything at all
also some work at home parents don't do in home childcare but it depends on what you do and how old your kids are. My mom works from home she did ever since I can remember. I even remember when her water broke at midnight and she went had my sister and 2 days later was working again. I was older then, 6 years older than my sister so I was the one who was "childcare"
everyone's situation is unique and no family can conform into the same mold.
I don't think it's the ideal situation...sometimes my MB or DB telework from home and it drives me nuts because I feel as though they hover when I have a routine very down to T. I guess it really depends on what you are comfortable with. Use your judgement here. I don't see an issue if he is working in an office and not hanging with you and the kids all day...
Not every DB is out to get the nanny and vice versa! For the posters saying you are just asking for trouble...they are either insecure wives or scandalous nannies. My DB is like family to me. If he works from home for the day it doesn't many me uncomfortable because there are no weird intentions there. He's working. From home. That's it.
I worked 3 years with a stay-at-home-dad. What an enormous pain in the ass! He babbled for hours on end trying to impress me with his intelligence. I was NOT impressed. He would interfere in nearly everything! It would take me forever to get those kids to take a nap! They wanted an umpteenth kiss from daddy and he would not put a stop to it, but yet God forbid one of the kids were having a tantrum during his "conference calls!" He took his job seriously, but my job was not a job at all in his eyes, it was a "privilege" to care for his kids. Blech! I've worked for stay at home moms but they seemed to understand it was not in anyone's best interest to undermine the nanny's authority. Sorry, I babbled. You may have a different experience but I would advise steering clear of stay at home daddies!
Truthseeker:
It does not matter if the nanny is pretty or not. Predators pursue the weak and the vulnerable.
I don't understand why when someone clearly states that they assume MOST dads are good guys, people respond as if they said they assume all dads are predators? No one said that! We are just saying we don't want to feel uncomfortable, and we don't want to take the tiny, infinitesimal chance that something bad will happen.
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