Your nanny often frequents my daughter's Gymboree class. She is a bit older and is foreign, perhaps she is Greek? She wears a Greek evil eye bracelet and has blonde hair and glasses. She takes your twins to Gymboree, they are boy girl twins and have blonde hair, the boy's name is Brandon I think?She is all over the place and cannot for the life of her seem to handle her job. Today one of your babies was holding onto the parachute when the teacher pulled it, and she bit her tongue. Class abruptly ended as she made a HUGEEEEEEEE scene and went full out nut-job on the girl.
She does not seem to have a handle on her job at all, and is always all over the place.
Very unpleasant, and seemingly chemically imbalanced.
28 comments:
I'm unclear: did the nanny go "full out nut-job" on the teacher or the child? The child bit her tongue?
what did the nanny say? what did she do?
OP: Are you a psychologist or a psychiatrist to make a diagnosis of a "chemical imbalance?". This is a serious issue. Perhaps the nanny has ADHD, which would have her "all over the place". I am an ADHD adult and even I can't sit still for long periods. As an ADHD adult, I am not chemically imbalanced, "all over the place" and work well with routines and schedules. I do find myself getting angry at myself for things I do incorrectly as I did yesterday when I couldn't find my sociology notes on the computer. I was very frustrated, and I could feel myself on a high emotional roller coaster. My adrenaline was at an all time high. And for what? Because I didn't save my notes correctly on the computer at school. I did calm down about an hour later.
As an ADHD adult who knows what it is like to go from happy to frustrated upto a roller coaster adrenaline high with emotions, your post really pisses me off. It's not often that I get pissed off over posts, yet this is one that makes me that way, because you think there is something wrong with nanny, you don't provide an example, other than what you wrote and you want to diagnose her. That offends me, because you aren't a doctor, and therefore shouldn't point fingers at someone who may or may not have a psychological disorder.
If the nanny in question has a psychological disorder she has no business caring for children.
It is her job to take care of twins if she can't handle it her employer should know.
I'm not usually quick to defend nannies, but it's hard to see a problem from this post. The post doesn't specify ages but every child has rough days where ANYTHING makes them through a huge fit. My 3 year old charge routinely throws huge tantrums during meals (he has a belly tube and receives 50% of his calories this way, so he throws a fit when he'd rather play than drink). At least once/week, he'll wake up too early and have meltdowns over anything all day until naptime.
And yes, even the MOM's of twins have a hard time when one runs off and the other grabs something (like a parachute?).
And how does one jump from "She does not seem to have a handle on her job at all, and is always all over the place." to "Very unpleasant, and seemingly chemically imbalanced"? I would think examples of this "chemically imbalanced" behavior would be much more useful to the parents... In fact, wouldn't the hurt child be the instructor's responsibility if she was the one who pulled on the parachute?
No offense intended OP, but it's difficult to understand the issue from your post...
Orange Snakeskin: I found it incredibly offensive that you stated that if someone has a psychological disorder, they have no business caring for children. There are certain mental disorders that absolutely can hinder one's ability to care for children. Schizophrenia, MPD, and manic depression are definitely disorders where one should not care for children. But your statement was too broad. It sounds like what you are saying is that if someone has mild anxiety or depression and it is controlled by medications and/or therapy, that they too are not fit to care for children. That is crazy to me. No pun intended. I know many great mothers (and nannies) that suffer from mild chemical imbalances that do a wonderful job with children. Depression and anxiety are DISEASES. And the people who admit they have a problem can seek help. It is no one's fault that they have these things. That being said, I am NOT defending this nanny. She does sound like she has issues that need to be dealt with and perhaps she is not cut out to care for children. But like others before me have stated, these post is not very clear.
VAnanny,
You are absolutely correct. I apologize for the blanket statement I made. I agree with all of your statements and in no way intended to offend you or anyone else. I should have been more clear in my comment. Again I am sorry.
I have ADHD, was on meds as a child, and have epilepsy. Was on meds for the epilepsy until 1994, when I became seizure free. I care for children Orange Snakeskin, so just shut up. VA Nanny is right; people with impairments, myself included, are able to care for children and we do a damn good job of it too!
Thank you Orange Snakeskin. And let me just tell you, I THOROUGLY enjoyed your comments on CL-WTF on the whole weed debate. You were very well spoken and entertaining. =)
OP, did this take place in Basking Ridge, NJ at the Riverwalk Gymboree? There is a set of twins in the 16-22 month class, boy is named Brandon, girl is possibly Alexandra, nanny is an older woman with graying blond hair. There was an incident last week where a child was injured on the parachute, but I don't know details because my own nanny was there instead of me. If this is, by some wild coincidence, the same kids/nanny, I would have to agree that this nanny cannot control the two children at once - at least twice I have seen the little girl get hurt while nanny was preoccupied with the boy, one time she ended up with a severe black eye/bruise on most of her cheek. Sometimes the instructor will take one of the twins but if she is doing something else, one child (usually the girl) is unsupervised on high/climbing equipment.
VANanny,
You said you were offended by what Orange Snakeskin said about nannies with chemical imbalances, but then you went and said the very same thing. As a nanny with bipolar disorder, I can tell you we absolutely can care for children and do a phenomenal job of it. This is why we have our wonderful psychiatrists, therapists and medications. They get us through life, both the mania and depression. Even before I was diagnosed, I was a nanny for a family for two years and I bet those parents would be shocked to hear my diagnosis because I was always professional with them and their children.
I just want to remind you that everyone is very different, we each have different levels in our abilities. I'm a much better care provider than many so-called "normal" people out there.
MissMannah-I too suffer from a psychological disorder. I have severe anxiety which used to completely run my life. Now it is controlled by medication and anxiety. Had you read my post a little better, you would have realized that I said most things can be controlled with medication/therapy. No one should be discriminated against because of an illness. Perhaps that was not as clear as I had meant for it to be. My apologies.
And I applaud you for being strong in spite of your illness. I have no doubt you are excellent at what you do.
Whoops typo in my 1st comment to MissMannah. I eant "controlled by medication and therapy."
sometimes at my job I feel like I am "all over the place" (I also work with twins). It's not as bad now that they're older, but when they were younger I often felt harried. Twins can be so much harder than single children, not just because it's two kids at the same developmental level, but because twins are more prone to special needs, even if they can't be seen by others.
I can't really judge this nanny, since I haven't seen her, and unfortunately the OP gives only vague statements rather than actual information.
I am sorry but I most definitely think that someone who has a psychological disorder may not be the best person to care for children. I know that disorders can be managed with therapy and meds, but unless I know the person well and have a lot of trust in them, then who is to say they won't just up and stop their meds? Or stop therapy and not tell the parents. I know a few people who think they should be in control of if they stay on meds or not. I mean I just wouldn't risk it if I didn't know the person well.
Lindsey-I think you may be ignorant to the fact that around 65% of the population in the US has some form of psychological disorder. It is very common. Chances are someone you know and would never suspect is suffering from a disorder. Let me ask you this: If a new Mom had postpartum depression, but she sought help and got it under control, would you think her child should be taken away from her? Absolutely not!!!! If a nanny suffered from OCD, does that make her unfit as a childcare provider? Absolutely not! Like I stated earlier, there are some disorders that a provider could have in which it is understandable if the parent has concerns. But as long as the provider does well at her job and is a normal functioning member of society, there should not be an issue.
Lindsay,
Your comment is naive. There are so many different levels of mental illness and so many people suffer from depression, anxiety, bi-polar, you name it: if you counted out all of the job candidates who have some form of it and are on medication for it, you would have nobody left to interview.
VA nanny: good point about the ppd, that is a great example.
MinuteMuggle really hit the nail on the head. There are so many different levels to consider. What works for one person may or may not work for the next person. And MM you're right! There would be very few people in the workplace if you discounted everyone with a mental disorder.
And where in this big wide world did this take place?
I hope the parents see this...although I can't help wondering why they haven't reacted yet, considering that the little girl sounds like she gets hurt/bruised a lot.
VANanny,
Thanks, I appreciate it. No, I didn't get that from your other post because I think I was instantly put off by this:
"There are certain mental disorders that absolutely can hinder one's ability to care for children. Schizophrenia, MPD, and manic depression are definitely disorders where one should not care for children."
Of course, I'm really sensitive when it comes to this issue and will immediately react with emotion rather than rationale. (A bipolar person being overly emotional? No way! haha) I also 100% agree with what you and MinuteMuggle said to Lindsey.
Lindsey, I think what bothers me the most is when you said:
"I know that disorders can be managed with therapy and meds, but unless I know the person well and have a lot of trust in them, then who is to say they won't just up and stop their meds?"
Of course I agree one should not leave her children with someone she doesn't know and trust, how close do you really need to be with someone before employing them? I certainly don't go around and tell all my future employers I have a disorder and if they ask, I refuse to answer. It is my right to not have to disclose this information under HIPAA. Besides, if you have a great nanny who has a good head on her shoulders, she isn't going to randomly take her treatment into her own hands. Mental health patients usually want the best for themselves and if they want to continue their career, they know they have to stay mentally healthy.
mom-
"I hope the parents see this...although I can't help wondering why they haven't reacted yet, considering that the little girl sounds like she gets hurt/bruised a lot."
I agree. I report every injury to the parents of my charges. Don't these parents notice and note that the explanations are signs that she wasn't being watched? Sadly this might be a case where the parents are as neglectful as the nanny.
I am glad to see most people on this board have a good understanding of psychological disorders. If someone is having psychotic symptoms, I think it is fair to say you would prefer not to leave your children with them- psychotic symptoms can alter your perception of reality or your thinking, which could pose a risk to your children. However, the VAST majority of those with mental illness do NOT have psychotic symptoms, and I see no reason to presume they are less fit to work with children than anyone else.
MHA:
I agree. And on another point, what about the many people who have mental illness but remain undiagnosed? To me, that is more of an issue than people who are diagnosed and are undergoing therapy.
Many people are dealing with mental illness, they just are not aware of it. It takes a stable person to admit that they are depressed/anxious/etc. and to get treatment for it.
Gymboree asks that you be no more than arms length from the child, and spot him at all times. There is no way one person can do that with two children. I've logged a lot of hours at Gymboree, and twins/sibs have always been accompanied by two adults. Maybe my branch insists on this, I don't know, but IMO one nanny trying to spot two toddlers on the climbing equipment is an accident waiting to happen.
I'd suggest mom switch them to a Sat. class so she and dad can take them, and let the nanny sign up for a music class. Then all she has to worry about is putting the shaky eggs in their mouths and poking each other in the eye with the drum sticks.
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