Received Wednesday, November 5, 2008. - Rant
I don't even know where to begin. This is the author of Driver Down & Driver Down needs a raise. I was very happy when I had found a new position. It sounded like a very good situation for me, working just a few more hours than I had previously for the same pay. When this woman and I had originally talked, the gist of her situation was that her husband worked from home, and they needed someone to come and watch their 17 month old son during the day, and I quote that she said to me, "my husband would be so happy to get 7 hours of work done a day." SO I figured 'ok, I'll be working 35-40 hours a week with some flexibilty to take classes during the day'.
Well now I'm working 50 hours a week, at least. Taking 2 night classes a week plus a saturday class, struggling to have enough time for myself to study, to have a social life or to just plain relax. Sometimes I find myself doing homework at my boyfriends just so I can double task by spending time with him and doing homework. We first agreed that I'd make myself 'available 7-5 m-f in case I was needed (figuring I'd work those 35-40 hours within that time frame) but more often than not she'll ask me to do something that will leave me not getting done until well after 5 (like picking up her older son from high school at 5:15) and never getting anything extra.
I have room + board, a car and they pay virtually all my gas +$160/wk, but I'm ready to go off the deep end here. When I said I wanted to be a part of the family in the beginning, I didn't think they'd take it this far. I feel like she can't be reasoned with at all, and she's always yelling about something I've done wrong (ie: someone let the kids take her CD's out and put them put them away out of order and not alphabetical -- I didn't have anything to do with it -- or how I get yelled at because there were 3 toys left on the floor in the basement).
I feel like my life is no longer my own. I love the kids more than anything and they were very attached to me right away, but the hours and this woman are killing me.
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24 comments:
Where are you working for $160 a week?!?! If you are working anywhere near me (CT) you should be getting paid about triple that.
They have to pay you at least minimum wage. Gas reimbursement and room and board don't factor into your wages as far as minimum wage laws are concerned. At the very least they should be paying you $327.50/week.
You need to stand up for yourself, get a better job with a contract and then have a backbone to enforce your rights as spelled out in that contract. You're damaging your future earning potential by all this job jumping.
You need to sit down with this lady and have a serious talk, your health depends on it!!
OP: I can tell this is your first live-in gig- maybe even your first nannying position.
NEVER EVER say the "be part of the family" and don't expect that to happen. I,frankly, immediately tick off all the families saying that in the first interview.
Always have a contract.
why do you keep putting yourself in these situations? You need to leave and find a job that pays a lot more and perhaps think about not being a live in this time around. Please don't let these peoplentake advantage of you like the last family did. Get out now while the going is still good.
macaroniandcheese-- why do you say it is her first time?
get off your high horse, really.
if you even read her message it says she found a new position. if you read the FIRST SENTENCE of her previous post [link is IN THE POST] it says she has been with the same family, LIVE IN, for 3 years.
and there is nothing wrong being a part of the family.
go play in traffic.
Seattlelurks, even though I found your post totally unneccesarily rude, I had to laugh out loud at "go play in traffic." Too funny...
well seattlelurks, like it or not..it is true.. no high horse on macncheese's part that I can see..DD does keep having issues with her nanny positions.Issues that bring her here frustrated,angry and questioning weather she can survive her job or not.
DD..perhaps a job in a cubicle with a computer would more suit you.Some of us are better at dealing with a computer than people.This is not a bad thing just reality for some. It can be hard dealing with children,classes.schedules and bosses. Perhaps eliminating a few of those will make life easier for you.
Being a nanny or working in retail almost always means ..problem solving and or dealing with unreasonable people. Finding a solution that works for everyone and making the job work.
It does sound as if this has been hard for you though.
I wish you luck but really do suggest finding something else that will work around your classes and will suit you better.
my comment was referencing the fact that they "can tell- it was her first live in gig, maybe even your first nannying position"
and yeah, they have problems that bring them back here because they're frustrated with their job. those should be dealt with. but that doesnt make them an amateur at what they do or inexperienced.
You are definitely getting the shaft. Why do you keep allowing yourself to be taken advantage of? Get it together, and find your worth!
Seattlelurks
Ahh, don't be so hard on mac & cheese. I don't think she meant any harm. But.... "go play in traffic"?? Holy cripes, but that was funny as hell!!
OMG!! BLB... where the hell have you been? So glad to see you!
TO OP
I kind of feel sorry for you that you just haven't found your niche, yet. If you truly feel that she can't be reasoned with - you may have to hit the pavement and find yet another job --- but this time, find one that will pay better!!
I thought it was her first time because live-ins know how important it is to have a contract and how to draw a line. The OP didn't and that's why she is in trouble.
I was in that postion once so I know what it's like. Once that line is crossed, there is no going back (not with the same family anyway).
hi blb fan..My honey & I were in Cabo! Horseback riding on the beach and taking a few laps in a baja race car! Lots of fun but now we are back to reality!!!Even more fun!!We really missed the kids! I really enjoy this site and all of the comments and certain posters too and noticed that Umass is missing??
Anyhow..don't want to get too off subject on this thread.
I truly do feel that DD will be much better off in a different line of work. She is continually being stepped on or taken advantage of and clearly cannot handle the people taking advantage. I think a job with minimal people and set hours will benefit her greatly,allowing her to focus on classes until she can reach her goal job. JMO
Hope everyone is well!!
stand up for yourself. they're taking advantage of your time.
BLB
Great advice. OP needs to either step it up, or yes, maybe try something else. It's tough not being able to speak your mind, especially with someone who's unwilling to listen.
About Umass, she's been gone for over 2 weeks. That really sucks. She was a lot of fun. But I'm glad you're back!!
Don't let your school work suffer. Thats more important than this temporary nanny job. She probably has no one else to yell at so she takes it out on you.
Too bad, you couldn't find a part-time job and go to school. Did you put up an ad on the school bullentin? Maybe, try and find a roomate where you can split the rent and live together. Even if its a small place. Its better than living with a family that doesn't give you time for your school studies.
I 2nd 'big BLB fan'. I'm a fan, too! Glad you're back!!
Great comment, ericsmom. I agree. School should always come 1st.
I agree with some of the others here, OP. Speaking as a mom, if you were my daughter, I would recommend another line of work for you. Raising children (which is what you do) is too time consuming for enjoying the kind of college experience a young girl ought to have. And you have now had three failed job situations in this field in a very short period of time.
You're still sort of a kid yourself. (That's a good thing, not an insult.) Enjoy it. See if there's some way you can move into a dorm or student housing for cheap, get a waitressing job, or some job that allows you to have flexible hours (I'll bet there's a job board somewhere at your college), have more time for classes and studying, and enjoy your social time. Enjoy campus activities. This is your last hurrah before joining the rat race. You won't ever regreet taking the time to enjoy it. I promise.
I am responding to the above poster, and maybe to a few others, this is my second, SECOND live in position, the first one was great for three years, everything was managable, and the job was as presented to me in the beginning. I still babysit for them on weekends. They just could no longer offer me a car which i needed to be able to attend classes. THIS time around this woman didnt present to me the job I am now working. The line of work has been great up until now. She always seems to forget I have my own life, and need time to study.
Oops OP, my bad. I guess I assumes so since it is your third posting in a short time span.
Still, my advice would be the same. If you were my daughter I would hope you had more time to enjoy a more traditional "young person's college experience." It's just such a special time of your life right now. Believe me, when you have a family of your own, there will be PLENTY of time for sacrificing the bulk of your free time for the kiddos in your life.
Thanks Wtf
: )
Tell your employer to untwist her saggy ol' boobs or you'll rip them off and put them in a bagel.
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