I was walking with my son behind a Nanny and 2 young girls, approximately 7 and 9 years of age. The older of the two girls, with dark blonde hair slightly past her shoulders, had a hardcover eyeglass case and was snapping it open and shut, making a loud clapping noise. The Nanny said "Quit it!" and smacked her on the back of the head. I was about 5-6 feet behind them, and I heard the swat. The little girl said "Ouch!" and grabbed the back of her head.The Nanny was about 5'10, slightly overweight, with dark hair up in a banana clip. She was wearing faded blue jeans and a multi-colored grey sweater with horizontal stripes.
I see Nannies with their charges almost every day, and it's usually a very pleasant scene. This was the first one I ever felt needed to be reported. I was shocked by her behavior, and I hope the little girl's Parents see this.
37 comments:
Not trying to be rude, but how do you know this wasn't the mom? There are a lot of older mothers nowadays, and a difference in hair color doesn't mean she's a nanny.
what is VB?
MissJ
I really didn't think it was necessary to type everything that was said, just to prove "how I knew she was the nanny".. but the two little girls were having a conversation about their Mom.
Why can't some people just give posters the benefit of the doubt?
Where's Naomi Campbell with her cell phone when you need her?! This nanny needs a good smack in the back of the head herself!
I don't believe in giving the benefit of the doubt in these cases. there are some very strong accusations being made here (actual physical abuse!), no benefit of the doubt should be allowed when accusing someone of something like this. You should give full information!
gimmeabreak
Well, I just did. I don't know what more I can say.
I saw a child get smacked in the head by her nanny, I have no reason to lie.
How sad. I see so many OP's try and do the right thing, only to get flamed or called a liar.
Nobody said you are a liar, just that you should have given more information to prove that this was indeed a nanny and not a mom. You obviously knew certainly that it was a nanny and not a mom and chose to leave that info out and then said we should just "give you the benefit of the doubt".
Next time, give full information is all i am saying
Hi---
I think what gimme is trying to say is that a lot of times, espcially on this site, any stitch or sign of abuse is automatically assumed to be a nanny. The truth of the matter is, is that parents abuse as well. Not to mention, the stigma that is already attached to nannies is only exaserbated by these sightings that have mediocre evidence. THAT being said, I think what the OP was doing is trying/hoping to do is relay that information is hopes that the non-abusing parents would see that and get that child out of a seemingly bad situation right away. That is me wighing in. NO harm, no foul.... on either side. Somethin we all have to remember is that MOST nannies aren't abusers. There ARE good and even great ones out there.. and please tread carefully before assigning blame to people.
^^Exactly!
You know, we are all likely grwon ups who ready this site - are there times when the siting could be a parent? Absolutely. but likely there is something that has happend that makes the OP aware that this is a Nanny or they wouldn't post here. I see what i think are awful parents each day in the grocery store, mall, restaurants etc....could they be nannies? It's possible but because I don't know for sure I don't post anything about it. When I have posted it is because I'm certain it's a nanny - shouldn't we be more concerned with the behavior that is happening rather then flaming the poster? don't you think poster's have better things to do then make up stories about bad nannies?
I'm just really tired of all the flaming that happens here - I wonder how many bad nanny sightings aren't being posted because poster don't want to deal with the awful comments they will likely face.
Can't we just all get along?
Jeez. Yes, the person who smacked the child was absolutely AWFUL, this is inexcusable, and *ASSUMING* it was a nanny, they should be fired immediately and we can only hope the parents see this.
But I don't see why it is considered so freakin unreasonable and "bickering" to want to verify how OP knew this was NOT a mom, based only on seeing the back of her head for a few seconds. It's a perfectly fair question to ask, and I'm not sure why complete info was NOT given in the original post, as that is a pretty basic element of any sighting.
The majority of the time, it IS a nanny. A new poster to this site probably wouldn't even think it would be an issue to make that perfectly clear. I understand both points of view since there HAVE been a few times since I have been frequenting this blog when an OP assumed what was actually a mother was a nanny, probably because of their general mistrust of nannies as a whole. However, this OP stated that she usually sees good nannies when she's out, so I did give her the benefit of the doubt in this case. She didn't editorialize, she wasn't dramatic and her tone seemed refreshingly objective. In other words, she didn't sound like a nanny hater, just a concerned person reporting mistreatment from what she knew was a nanny.
Good sighting, OP.
Wow... I'm not saying it wasn't a good sighting, I was just asking for clarification, because of the serious accusations. Thank you, gimmeabreak and calimom. To the OP - don't take it so personally.
"The majority of time it IS a nanny?"??????????
Care to elaborate?
Unless you hear a conversation referring to mom being at work or away or know the family or unless you ask or are told..there is no way in hell you actually know a child is with a nanny..no way in hell!!
My children have loveley dark olive skin with huge black eyes. Curly black hair and lots of it.
I am fair skinned with freckles and red hair. We go out to the park,the library and run lots of other errands all day..I have people ask me all the time"are those your kids?"
I have been mistaken for the nanny on more than one account!!
I agree that what matters is that the abuse/neglect or just plain meaness stop..but there is nothing wrong with including facts as to how you know this is a nanny & not a mommy! People are curious and as many nannies frequent this site, it is only natural to want to make sure that a bad report is factual.
No flaming needed just a legit question as was presented in the first place by missj.
Sightings on this site are USUALLY a nanny, yes...especially considering the majority of the sightings involve a nanny of a different race.
CALM DOWN.
well I hate to tell you this but my children are Mexican & look Mexican but I am not.
I must be a nanny according to you.
Silly.
Notanadvocate, be reasonable. Now you're just picking my whole point across simply to be defiant.
Most of the time, when someone posts a sighting here, it is a nanny...rarely do they mistake a parent for a nanny. Yes it happens sometimes and yes there are children that are of mixed races...I am not denying this..but USUALLY (KEYWORD: USUALLY)this is not the case. USUALLY, when a caucasian child is with a black woman, an OLDER woman, a hispanic woman, a non-English speaking European woman, there is a good chance it is the nanny and the OP's first instinct is correct. Of course there are exceptions! That's a moot point and it had NOTHING to do with what I was trying to say. I gave this OP the benefit of the doubt because she seemed objective. I didn't question whether or not she thought it was a nanny because she didn't give me any reason to..
Trust me, there have been posters on this site who come off so hateful and bias towards nannies, that I DO question them...
I caution them to be wary of who they accuse of abuse, neglect and mistreatment. When I sense someone's judgement is clouded by irrational hatred and misconceptions, I question them. In this case, I didn't sense that...However, I made it very clear I can relate to BOTH sides of the argument...but I DO stand by the fact that the majority of bad sightings posted on this blog ARE legit and they are actually the nannies, not the mommies.
It's not black and white and there is a lot of reading in between the lines and logical deductions that should be made when dealing with ANYTHING like this.
So, NO I wouldn't necessarily assume you were a nanny if I saw you out with your kids. In fact, unless you were doing something particularly memorable, I probably wouldn't think TWICE about it, period.
*whole point APART, not across.
That whole post was a big mess. Sorry guys.
Thank you JerseyXJacqui and sick of the bickering.
When I was writing this post, I wanted to make sure it was objective and offer just the facts. However, I thought my comment about seeing good nannies most of the time would have been enough to give me the benefit of the doubt. I have nothing against nannies, and would never go out of my way to say something to hurt someone.
I actually thought of putting in the conversation, then figured that I would be accused of making it up because it wouldn't have seemed natural. I did the best I could because the last thing I wanted was for my post to be picked apart. But I understand that even with the best of intentions, it's going to happen. Maybe the thought of a child being hurt just elicits that kind of response? I know it made me angry.
Not defiant. I just don't agree with you that "it is often the case when you see a white child with a black woman,older woman,mexican Mexican woman etc...that it is USUALLY a nanny."
I do however think that you are living in the 1950's.
This 2008 sister. Families are loud,proud and colorful!! You need to catch up with the times. Your backwards,old fashioned thinking is not logical in todays times at all.These are not "Little House on the Prairie" times. These are "The New Beverly Hills 90210" times.
And no,it was not a moot point. That was the exact point!
Ummmm...does it really matter WHO it is, mom OR nanny?
The point is that she, whoever she may be, is identified and stopped.
I trust that most OPs are bright enough to look for clues indicating they are reporting a nanny...but I do not need to have evidence detail that rivals the OJ Simpson blood evidence testimony to believe them.
If it's a bad nanny, I hope the parents see the post. If its a bad mommy, dad or grandma...somebody...still needs to know!
Personally I get a little bored when reading the long winded (irony not lost on me) posts describing every last detail as to why she was nanny and not mom.
OPs should not be in such fear when psoting that they have to be so defensive as we sometimes make them feel. Why can't they tell us they believe it was a nanny and leave it at that?
It's not like we're the judge and jury. Our votes and opinions her, in reality, count for zero...unless we happen to see our own friends, or neighbors' children on here. If that were the case, I would hope we are each responsible enough to investigate a bit before rashly firing somebody from their job based on a blog. Hopefully these posts start out as huge wake up calls to some of the parents involved that they need to find out a lot more about what is going on with their kids in their absence.
Notanadvocate, so you're telling me that the majority of American families are of mixed race? Get real. Look around.
And you're accusing me of living in the 1950s and being old fashioned. I live in NJ. It's pretty diverse here. I'm up on the times. You're just not being realistic.
ok.you win
I am sorry, this was all blown out of proportion by the OP. A couple of people asked one simple question, how do you know it was the nanny and all of a sudden the OP was claiming she was being flamed, etc.. I guess we shouldn't ask any questions anymore.
gimmeabreak
I answered whatever questions were put to me. I don't see how I blew anything out of proportion. I am not the least upset about what anyone has said here. And in all honesty, when I mentioned the flaming, I was thinking of the many people that post sightings and seemingly get picked on or attacked. I'm not saying I was, but I do feel as if I don't owe any of you an explanation. But go ahead, gimmeabreak, make it to where others that see this won't want to post because they have this to look forward to.
My only concern was for this little girl.
Not an advocate,
Black women with Jamaican accents do not often give birth to little white children.. fact of human biology. That is how we often know that it was the nanny, which is typically clearly stated in the postings. We don't need to hear you get all "ethnic pride" on us. That is unrealistic and you're retarded.
sarah...I am chuckling at your first sentence. Don't know why...but the wording strikes me funny.
And you are right. Of course, there are certainly exceptions to that. Genetics can be funny. I had a white skinned blonde friend with a similarly colored husband and they had a baby that looked like a full blooded American Indian. Turns out baby's Grandpa was Cherokee and the physical traits completly skipped his daughter. (I didn't even know it was possible to pass on traits that one had not inherited...but I guess you can.) But the point is that that sort of thing is actually pretty rare. Black mommies do not often have little white children...so the natural assumption is that she is unrelated. Darker colored hair and skin are typically dominant traits, so a white/black pairing is most likely to produce a child darker than the light parent. Almost never do you see a child lighter than BOTH parents. See a white lady with a black child and it could easily be hers. See a black lady with a white child... the overwhelming chance is NO.
thank you sarah and mom for the genetics lesson. I stand corrected.
hey sarah,there is no rule you have to call names to fit in on this blog,ya know?
I'd also like to think that when someone sends in a sighting about a nanny, that they are using common sense that would tell them whether or not it was the mom or the nanny. It could be just watching their interaction with each other in a situation or hearing a conversation.. who knows, but we're not there and they are.
I'm sure the chance that anyone would report a nanny that is really innocent has to be rare.
Notanadvocate,
I'm not worried about fitting in. Everything you were saying was ridiculous and annoying. I simply wanted you to know that it was indeed, retarded, to say that American families are now so blended that the sightings on this blog including Caribbean nannies with little blond girls, for example, are as likely to be mother/daughters as they are nanny/charges.
I REALLY hope that Sarah is not an adult because it would deeply sadden me to think that an ADULT would call someone else retarded, complete disrespect for the mentally handicapped. Shame, shame on your Sarah.
I have to agree. I have a cousin who is retarded (sorry if there is a more pc word these days I don't know it)and I have always been offended at people using a word to describe a sad condition as an insult. Ask my kids. NOT an acceptable word in our house
Fine, fine.. yes, I should have chosen a different word. I was annoyed!! Sorry, I will pick something wiser next time my friends.
I have a sister that's mentally handicapped, and when we have to explain, that's the wording we use to describe her. She's 45 yrs old, but on the operating level of a 4 yr old.
I don't know about other families, but the word 'retarded' has always offended us, and we never use it.
It's a delicate issue, and it took us a while to figure out what would be acceptable, and to be honest.. every word like that used to describe my sister sounds painful.
^^^^^^
Sorry.. that was to answer Mom's question.
Wow. Of all things, I was just reading an article on people with mental handicaps and they referred to them as "developmentally disabled". That's not bad at all...
Thank you Sara.
Yes, not a park slope nanny, it is very painful. My cousin is about 50 years old, and it is believed that his situation was completely unnecessary...which makes it all the more tragic and painful. Apparently the doctor had not yet arrived at the hospital as he was trying to be born. The nurses, afraid to deliver a baby without the doctor present, shoved him back into the birth canal when he started to emerge and forcefully held him there until the doctor arrived.
But, on the bright side, he is as happy a person as I have ever seen. Sometimes I wonder if it is even appropriate to feel bad for him at all, since he has such a happy, carefree existence. but when you see how strong and perfect he is in every other way, it is sad to wonder what he might have become otherwise. It has palgued my aunt and uncle their entire lives, baecaus they have feard from day 1 what will become of him when they are gone.
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