Is Nebraska Becoming New Dumping Ground For Unwanted Children?
A Michigan mother drove roughly 12 hours to Omaha, so she could abandon her 13-year-old son at a hospital under the state's unique safe-haven law, Nebraska officials said Monday.
The boy from the Detroit area is the second teenager from outside Nebraska and 18th child overall abandoned in the state since the law took effect in July.
Nebraska's safe-haven law is unlike similar laws in that it allows anyone, not just a parent, to drop off a child, of any age, at any state-licensed hospital without fear of prosecution for abandonment.
State officials have stressed that the safe-haven law should be used only for children in immediate danger; some worry the broadly written law could make the state a dumping ground for unwanted children.
Lawmakers are pondering changes to the law, which is designed to protect infants by encouraging unusually stressed parents to surrender their babies rather than harming them. But the law states that caregivers may leave a "child," which some have interpreted to mean anyone under 19.
Your Thoughts?
19 comments:
Sounds like they need surveillance cameras and a trap door leading down to a den of hungry crocs at some of those sites....or a more clearly written law.
What kind of an ***hole drops a teenager off at one of those things...right at the time of their lives when they feel the absolute worst about themselves already!?
Did I ever mention the lady I knew many moons ago who kept saying she was debating about putting her daughter up for adoption? The child was already over a year old. Finally, one day I had had it and let her know it(which is very uncharachterisitc for me...I'm fairly quiet). I told her that if she was going to do it she had better just go do it NOW, before her baby got any older and was unable to adjust properly to new parents, or worse, got so old that she became "hard to place" and eneded up in foster care for her entire childhood instead of with a family to love her. I don't know what happened in the long term, but iot was th elast time she complained in front of me about not wanting to be a mom. I actually think her daughter may have been better off if she had given her up and let somebody have her who would consider her agreat blessing instead of a drag.
There needs to be an age limit on this thing. Maybe up to five. I hate to have five year olds given away, but it's better than having them beaten to death. Older than that they are at least in school and have teachers to keep a second set of eyes on them.
This is my wonderful state that decided that, and specifically one crazy senator who is off his rocker...seriously.
It's embarrassing. First of all that we were one of the last states to even implement a safe haven law..and on top of it, we had 40-some states that we could have copied their laws, yet we create a new law and now we are the teenage dumping ground.
It makes me mad at the parent and I feel terrible for these children. Teenagers can be naughty...they are annoying...I was the worst teenager out there (and dread the day my kids are teenagers), but how could a parent do this! I think some are doing it as a "lesson" like "see, I'll drop you off again if you misbehave" but fully expect to get their child back....horrible.
Something has GOT to change.
I think the only reason for not being able to handle your teen is if they are violent or hurting themselves, if they need drug intervention, etc. And in that case, how could you just drop them off, wash your hands of them? There are so many places to call, so many places that offer intervention for these kids, places made for these problems. Not just a random hospital. Have the kids who are being dropped off been properly diagnosed, have the parents tried all other avenues? I'm guessing they have not.
It sounds crazy to me.
There was one case that the child was a mental health case. I'm sketchy on the details, so this is what I remember. (I'm sure you could google it)...but he was living with his grandmother, and he had previously been admitted to a mental health hospital for a stay, not sure how long. The grandmother also was raising 4 or 5 other grandkids?? and she had enough and couldn't do it anymore. The teenager was dropped off at the hospital (at the urging of the grandparents neighbors and other family members) and he soon after was admitted back into the mental hospital for another stay.
One....out of 18. The others....I don't think they did any mental health evaluation. If they did, the kid was deemed fine and I am guessing in most of those cases the kid eventually went back to his/her parents.
I'm seriously embarrassed to be from this state!
mpp-nocomputer & no email. bare with me. everything is fine, should be back online by tomorrow.
Well, I am not sure if it is age or experience,however I can tell you that over the last 10 or so years my veiws have changed drastically.
I used to feel very strongly about these"safe havens" where parents could simply abandon a child. I thought they were a horrible idea and that those parents should be charged criminally..the age of the child made no difference to me.
They were horrid people and should be ashamed.
Now,I am glad that a parent who has for what ever reason become incapable of caring for their child has options.
Yes,I agree, it is a HORRIBLE thing to abandon a child,especially a child old enough to realize they have been abandoned. The alternative though, a child who is living with a vacant parent, a parent who is possibly mentally unbalanced or even one who just does not want to ba a parent is a horrible way for a child to live. When parents don't want to be parents or can't handle being parents children are often abused and neglected. It is unfair to a child. No child should JUST exist..they should wake up every day to a mommy & daddy capable of smiling at them and loving them.
I would much rather see a 13 abandoned in a hospital than somewhere in a ditch!
I am sad that our world has come to this and I don't think it is by any means OK..but children need all the protection and love and help that this crazy world can offer and that law has probably saved more than one child's life.
I understand the politics but because these are children,I just can't bring myself to not support the idea .
Good ole' Nebraska, there are plenty of reasons that we can ALL be embarassed of our states due to laws that have been implemented, taxes misused and crooked politicians. Try and look at it as Nebraska has provided safety for a few children that might otherwise spend the next 8 years or so living a non-existent life otherwise abused or neglected.
I will say I am 100 percent AGAINST any parent who abandons or gives a child up for adoption getting their chil back.
I experienced the latter first hand and it is heart breaking.
sorry, I meant to say a 13 year old!
I
O.K. :)
xo
When I first read this Article, I felt a little sad and disgusted... mainly because of the child's age. But you make a really good point, BLB.
We don't know this 13 yr old's situation, and if his Mother thought it was serious enough to actually drive 12 hours to Nebraska to drop him off... whether he has behavioral problems or she's just incapable, then maybe he is in a better place anyway.
Really, I think we shouldn't judge people who give up their children for adoption.
We don't know WHY they did it. We don't know what is going on that would make them decide to do something like that. And the fact that they choose to go far and drop their kids off somewhere safe, instead of pulling a Casey Anthony, says something about them.
As much as I feel for the older children, who will remember their parents and know what is going on, I would rather see this than hear another heart breaking story about a child killed by their own parent.
I agree with BLB,
Maybe if NY didn't have an age restriction poor little Nixmary Brown would still be alive. If parents are willing to abandon a child, the home situation for that child must be horrendous, and it is pretty obvious that CPS can't be depended on to do anything about it.
Sometimes state laws are so convoluted they conspire against parents barely hanging on. Several years ago I used to volunteer at an organization that helps "at risk" teenagers and their families with finding the assistance they need. A particularly heartbreaking situation was a young boy who had sustained neurological damage after sniffing glue at the age of 14 and needed medication, counseling and the closely supervised setting of a treatment center. His parents were good people, but basically had fallen from lower middle class into the working poor and did not have the resources to pay for the treatment he needed. They both took on two jobs to support their family and pay for their son's health expenses but that meant their oldest teenage son was left at home to care the two younger children still at home. They got so behind in their expenses, their house was in foreclosure and the treatment center sent their son home because they had not paid in months. Their son attempted suicide within three days at home. Luckily his older brother (great thing for a 17 year old to deal with) found his younger brother before he strangled. While he was in the hospital, the organization I worked with was contacted. After researching options, and the family's finances (which had become non-existent--what little they had went into paying for their son's treatment), we found that NYS would pay for his treatment if he was a ward of the state but it required that his parents go to court to legally abandon him. We were able to help them get free legal counsel to abandon their son, file bankruptcy to stop the foreclosure and get the bill collectors off their backs. Their son did get the right medical treatment because they abandoned him, but the whole situation was so sad.
How could you drop off a 13 YEAR old? What, 12 years of parenting was find but you just couldn't take 13? That's so lame!
Too, too sad. From Sept. 27th
An out-of-work widower who abandoned nine of his children at a hospital under Nebraska's new safe-haven law said he was overwhelmed without his wife and just "fell apart."
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2008208241_haven27.html
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Horrible, sad, anyone in the situation where they are driving to Nebraska to do this has A LOT of problems. That said, if this had been an option when I was a teen, I'm pretty sure my mom would've had me in the car on the way to Nebraska more than a few times.
The recent posters make a good point about the desperation in a situation where somebody would/could drop off such an "old" child. Kinda makes you wionder what the home life must be like anyway.
maybe the secret is to make the lw a little tougher, to prevent those parents from dropping off teens who might do so simply to teach the kid a lesson, or because they are really angry at the moment. maybe make it pretty difficult to get the kids back after your snit is over, or have there be some sort of significant financial cost to retrieveig your children. That way maybe people would use the system only as it is intended...as a last resort for people who, for whatever reason, see no other alternative. I hate when people abuse programs set up for good until they are so riddled with problems and controversy that they become almost more of a problem than the original problem they were created to resolve. Let's make people accountable for abusing the system and maybe it will happen a lot less.
I'm really torn on this one. When my brother's friend was 16, his mom decided to move out of state with her boyfriend, and left him to fend for himself.
It was incredibly devastating, especially when he discovered that she hadn't paid tuition for his Catholic school, but honestly the best thing that could have happened to him. He moved in with my family, and the school community really banded together.
The parish waived most of his tuition and a group of families donated money to him anoymously. His grades improved, and he was able to secure enough scholarships and grants to go to college. I don't think he would have gone to college otherwise.
I just read the story in this week's People of the Nebraska man dumping 9 of his kids at the safe haven. What a horror show!
There is an article in the NY Times today about the Michigan family who dumped the 13 yo boy. He is being returned to Michigan where his three younger siblings have been taken into custody by CPS, and all four will be placed in foster care.
Thank you Manhattan Nanny.
Here's the Update about the 13 yo boy:
By ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: October 18, 2008
Michigan: Children in State Custody
The State of Michigan has been granted temporary custody of four children from suburban Detroit after one of them was abandoned in Nebraska under that state’s safe-haven law. A referee from juvenile court scolded the children’s mother, Teri Martin, for leaving her 13-year-old adopted son at an Omaha hospital earlier this week. The referee told Ms. Martin that she had never sought help for her son’s purported bad behavior. Ms. Martin and her husband have three other children, ages 10, 5 and 3. The teenager is expected to return to Michigan by Monday. The remaining children will immediately be placed into foster care.
And the Update to the girl:
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: October 9, 2008
Nebraska: After Second Thoughts, Guardians Take Back Abandoned Girl
An Iowa teenager who was abandoned at an Omaha hospital under Nebraska’s safe-haven law is back home after her grandparents dropped her off to teach her a lesson, but soon changed their minds, officials said. The 14-year-old girl from Council Bluffs was left at Creighton University Medical Center on Tuesday. There was no evidence of abuse, neglect or immediate danger, said Todd Landry, who leads the state’s Division of Children and Family Services. Using the law to “teach the girl a lesson,” was, Mr. Landry said, “not an appropriate use of the law” no matter where the grandparents were from. Brenda Beadle, chief deputy in the Douglas County Attorney’s Office, said a child protection case would not be filed. Ms. Beadle said she believed that the girl had been adopted by her grandparents.
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