Baby Cries at 2 A.M.? No Need to Get Up - from a NY Times Article speaking to to the popularity of Night Nannies. If you are in the Fairfield County, CT or Westchester County,NY area, and looking for a night nanny, please contact Jane at isawyournanny@aol.com.
When does the night nanny work?
The shift of the night nanny is designed towards the convenience of the employer. Most night nannies work 8-10 hour shifts that start and end at a time directed by the employer, for example 10 PM- 7 AM. Some parents request one night of respite per week, other families use night nannies every night. We will work with you to settle on a schedule that best suits your family's life.
What's the difference between a Night Nanny, Baby Nurse or Maternity Nurse?
The main difference is that a Night Nanny will work a specific overnight shift, and then go home in the morning. A Baby Nurse or Maternity Nurse will typically provide temporary live-in care. Both positions offer care directly following the birth. Both positions also offer extensive knowledge with basic infant care, and postpartum care.
What are the responsibilities of the Night Nanny?
The Night Nanny will provide all basic infant care including, but not limited to, bottle-feeding, burping, changing diapers, cleaning a circumcision and/or umbilical cord, and change the diaper pal.
121 comments:
Wow. Now parents do not even need to see their children at all!
Swiss Nanny:
That was my gut reaction at first, as well: yet another way that certain parents can avoid caring for their own children. But then it occurred to me that a night nanny would be extremely useful for someone who is forced to work third shift. I'm glad that such a service exists for people who truly need it.
I know getting spammed by those Replica Handbags is a pain, but is this something new? .... leaving a short comment followed by what looks like spam?
If so, I guess they'll be able to get away with it a little easier now.
Yes, 9:40, I guess I did jump to conclusions. But I cannot help but wonder, how many of the parents who use the "Night Nanny" service regularly also have the normal nanny plus a weekend nanny as well? I know of a family that has 3 nannies for 2 children. One for each child during the week, and then they share the third on the weekend. It is insane. And now, they could just throw in a night nanny! lol.
This would be a good service for those parents who go back to work right away. And of course, for those who can actually afford it. It does seem a little strange to me to hire someone to get up in the middle of the night with your baby...
Night nannies are also good for people with multiples or single parents.
I worked for a family who had mutiples.A set of twins and a sibling. They had a daytime nanny(me 630am-430pm),a early eve nanny who also cooked dinner(415-745pm) and a nighttime nanny who also did laundry.(8pm-630am)
These parents truly loved their children. They simply had the money to pay for someone else to care for the kids.The never got up through the night, never had bags under their eyes and when they did play with the kids or take them somewhere ,they had plenty of energy .
so i guess these people who hire night nannies aren't even attempting to breastfeed then? i find that very sad.
"...when they did play with the kids or take them somewhere ,they had plenty of energy."
(Michael J. Fox gasps in horror as he realizes that another sibling has disappeared from his family picture. "Doc, we're wasting time!"
Doc nods wildly. "Yes, Marty: to the flux capaciter, before it's too late!")
Many moms express breastmilk during the day . Though the children may not be put to the breast for the 1am feeding,they receive the same nutritional benefits as do babies who are nursed by mom through the night.
Not all women are able to breasfeed. Some do not produce enough milk, some dry up early and some have no milk-ducts.
That is what is sad.
We do not know why a woman chooses not to breasfeed, but lets not just assume that it is because they do not wish to.
Lindalou, recently there was a furor about the newest childcare rage in NYC and elsewhere.
Wet Nurses. Paid Wet Nurses.
Of course, some more crunchy moms have nursed friends babies (at least I gather this is the case), but paid wet nurses?
I would not choose to nurse my child, but I darn sure wouldn't outsource the feeding completely. Bottles work just fine IMO.
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1612710,00.html
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18313552/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-480407/The-return-wet-nurse.html
http://www.supernannyrules.com/dr-phil-on-wet-nurses/
http://breastfeedingmums.typepad.com/breastfeedingmums_blog/2008/02/wet-nurses-want.html
This is quite the rage in califonia too.
I am one of those women who did not have an adequate supply of breastmilk. It broke my heart not to be able to feed my child. I did not have any breasfeeding friends at the time. (No infants in the group) So I supplemented with Goatsmilk! If i'd had a nursing friend I sure would have let her nusre my baby.
I however, would be unable to pay a stranger to do it.
I brought the subject of Wet Nurses up a few months ago I believe, after reading something about them "making a come back". Needless to say, I was a bit shocked.
I believe they are still commonly used in developing Countries, but since making it's way back to the States, it has kind of caused an uproar.
I personally have a hard time believing a Mother could do such a thing.
Don't get me wrong, I am an advocate for breastmilk, but to me it's more of an emotional issue.
I couldn't imagine another woman breastfeeding my child!
But, to each their own ....
I guess if a Mother feels the benefits of her child having breastmilk is more important than missing that special "feeding time" bond, than that is her business, who am I to judge?
I just couldn't do it.
i think that a lot of people have trouble because don't understand the supply and demand aspect of nursing. expressing milk earlier in the day, then sleeping through the night while a nurse bottle feeds the baby breastmilk isn't going to establish breastfeeding for the mother and baby. it's going to rotally f things up. then the mom can lament how she just didn't produce enough breastmilk so the baby started preferring a bottle to her. this isn't aimed at anyone in particular, but it's a story i've heard over and over and over both irl and online. if you want to produce adequite milk on your baby's schedule, you need to spend the first months of newborn's life, devoting yourself to nursing.
this will probably bring out the trollies, but i've nursed other people's babies on ocassion and one of my friends has nursed my son. if i had to choose between feeding my baby formula, or having a friend nurse him, i'd choose the friend.
and chick, i don't know if you have kids yet. if not, i hope you'll research all the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding before you decide to have a child. i do understand that women can have have nursing troubles, but i don't understand women who start out by saying they're not even going to attempt to do what's best for their babies.
LindaLou. Please follow up on the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding if you would. Thanks.
It may be true many new moms do not understand how the supply and demand of producing breastmilk works.With so much info and breasfeeding awareness in hospitals and moms groups I certainly hope that that is less and less true anymore.
That said, some moms can and will nurse their child 24/7 for months and never produce more than an oz of milk allday long. Not being able to breastfeed a child does not nessasarily have to do with a new moms ignorance of supply and demand.
6:49, no it doesn't always, but i'd say it USUALLY does.
posted by LL.
posted by LL.
I said when I was pregnant. Oh I am going to breastfeed no formula. I thought it would be easy. I didn't take classes or do research on breastfeeding, etc. When the time came to breastfeed I felt helpless. First of all they didn't even let me hold the baby for at least 20 minutes. Then they gave the baby formula and a pacifier during the nite. The next morning I said I want to breastfeed, but need help. The lactation lady came to help thru the hospital. But honestly, they are too rushed. Too many patients so its like they rush you. They put the baby on you and stay with you for five mintues and leave. And to make it worse when I needed help during the nite, the nurses were the only ones there. They are busy doing other things. The lactation consultants in the hospital I was in didn't work 24/7. So what do moms do that need help during the nite. It was discouraging. The last nite of my hospital stay my son had what looked like blood in his diaper. But it wasn't. He was dehydrated with jaundice. So they told me to try and breastfeed and then do formula.
Even the pediatrician was no help. He asked are you breastfeeding and I said I am trying. And he said oh thats good. But I said I am having trouble. He nurses but still screams bloody murder. My breasts aren't swollen or I don't feel any milk. No letdown. I don't hear him swallowing or milk going down. Even when trying to pump I would get maybe a oz out in an hour.
I asked my doctor can you give me something to help. But he said theres nothing just give formula.
In the U.S. they really are behind on breastfeeding. They really need to make it a priority. Hospitals need to improve and pediatricians as well. Instead of taking the lazy way out.
Now if I have another baby I am researching. Looking for help with consultants on a sliding scale, etc. Lets see what happens.
Omg! I can't believe you had that problem, NNJ. How sad. When my best friend had a baby, there were Lactation specialists all over her, almost obsessively! She was like you, very discouraged, but after a couple of days of their support, she was so happy she stuck with it.
I wish you better luck next time. Please take a class, they have them, if you have to go through Social Services, or ask a Hospital, please do it! You'll be giving your baby the best gift of his young life!
I can't remember the brand names, but there are a couple herbal formulas that increase lactation. Also, taking essential fatty acids & fenugreek really helps as well.
About the night nanny thing:
I have a friend who is an RN and works as a night nurse. She says the mother reovers much more quickly from the birth because she's able to sleep through the night, and the first time parents feel a lot more relaxed having an RN in the house.
I tried the herbal regiments. Didn't help. I even sipped beer a little, because everyone said the yeast helps.
To no avail. Oh wel
LL, it's an unfortunate truth that not very many women have the luxury of devoting several months to breastfeeding a nerwborn. Many women have to go back to work within 6 weeks, and then they work in places where pumping isn't exactly an option.
Additionally, lactation assistance is...rather lacking in many hospitals/doctor's offices. And the LLL has a reputation that frightens away many moms needing help figuring out how to make BF work for them.
Ironically, the women who can best afford the physical and economic burdens of BF tend to choose not to BF for whatever reasons.
And as to your question:
"and chick, i don't know if you have kids yet. if not, i hope you'll research all the benefits of breastfeeding over formula feeding before you decide to have a child. i do understand that women can have have nursing troubles, but i don't understand women who start out by saying they're not even going to attempt to do what's best for their babies."
No kids at this time, but I am considering adoption in the nearish future. However, even if I was planning to have a baby, I would still feel the same way. I am not comfortable with the idea of BF, and I would not willingly make myself miserable in order to BF. In the long run, a miserable mom is more of a detriment than can be made up for with BM, IMO.
I never had a nanny or a babysitter for my kids, but I think if I had had the money,and the service was available, I would have had a night nanny a few days a week for my second son... He was a light sleeper and didn't sleep through the night his first year. I always had trouble going back to sleep after nursing him in the night.
I remember almost halucinating at times from the lack of sleep, and often went to take a nap as soon as my husband came home from work, just so I wouldn't go nuts. A night Nanny a couple of days a week would have been a godsend...
I live on the UES and am a grad student. I am a 28 year old, lactating female. I work every other night from 10-8 for a family. Breastfeeding is part of my job description. There should be no shame in providing a child the very best nourishment he could possibly have. You all don't have shame when it comes to taking a lung from a child who has died in a gruesome car accident and handing that over to someone who smoked for 40 years.
This is natural. I express milk when I am not working and provide supplemental breastmilk to women in my circle. Most, not all- of it is given away.
chick, i wasn't comfortable with a lot of things about motherhood before they happened. i wasn't thrilled about the idea of breastfeeding and i certainly wasn't hip on the idea that an 8 pound baby would be passing through my vagina. i was abused as a child and i really was always the sort of person who hated unnecessary touching. rather than being a burden, i ended up really loving breastfeeding and found it very healing. i'm not sure exactly what your issue with it is and i don't want to pry, but maybe therapy before conceiving would be helpful. i know people who have never breastfed would probably disagree, but if you don't do it, IME, you are missing out of one of life's most meaningful joys.
NNJ, i sorry you received such poor lactation support. i had a similar experience with my firstborn. she had jaundice and when she was still not gaining weight at 2 weeks and had urate crystals in her diaper, they immediately send me home with a bunch of free formula. luckily, i had a lactation friendly OB who immediately put me on reglan to increase my milk supply. i also called the local LLL chapter and the women there helped me so much more than the crappy lactation consultant ever did. i really think LLL is the place to go for help if failure is not an option.
I like the way you say "if failure is not an option" Lindalou, because that's almost what it'd have to be if you were to call the La Leche League for help Breastfeeding.
I don't know if I've said before, but I did have a child when I was younger that passed away, but for the very short time he was here I wanted to do everything "right" for him that I could, and that included Breastfeeding.
I had some help in the Hospital, and was put in touch with the LLL when I went home because I was having some difficulty.
I should say that they were extremely supportive and very encouraging, and would not let me give up ....
I would seriously turn to them if Breastfeeding is high on your priority list.
Oh breastfeeding is making a huge comeback. I know 2 women in the NY area who use lactating nannies (about $2500 a week) to care for the children. If you don't believe that, then please take a gander at men who are learning to breastfeed.
"It is possible, and has been observed in animals and humans. In 1992, 18 Dayak fruit bats were captured from a rainforest in the Krau Game Reserve, Pahang, Malaysia. Of the 10 mature males captured, each had functional mammary glands from which small amounts of milk were expressed. A breast is a breast. Male lactation is physiologically possible and, according to Dr. Robert Greenblatt, production in males can be stimulated by letting a baby suckle for several weeks. Indeed some human males secrete milk at birth and at puberty.Historically, male lactation was noted by the German explorer Alexander Freiherr von Humboldt prior to 1859, who wrote of a 32-year-old man who breastfed his child for five months. It was also observed in a 55-year-old Baltimore man who had been the wetnurse of the children of his mistress."
Oh, my!
I'd be remiss to share my identity, but my husband was able to lactate following the birth of our first child. It was such a joyous occasion.
$2500 a WEEK! damn, i need to put these lactating breasts to work for pay! hee.
That's a good question, Lindalou! Would you really do this for another Mom?
For $2500.00 a week, of course.
PP, I am sorry to hear about your loss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I think womnen who approach BF with a mindset of "failure is not an option" are very similar to women who plan out their births and if something goes "wrong", they blame themselves.
IMO, it's much better to give oneself a little slack, and not approach birth plans and lactation with the mindset of "If I don't make this work exactly right, I am a failure."
Why not make the best decisions for yourself and your family, and then allow for change as needed? In my experience, moms who have that mindset fare better after birth and during their child's first year. There's enough societal pressure surrounding birth and feeding choices - women don't need to willingly up the ante on themselves.
Sorry, MPP.
I hate this laptop.
mpp,
You are in my prayers, as always.
Lindalou
I thought Reglan was dangerous to use while nursing?
Thanks Chick and Umass.
It was tremendously hard for a long time.
Being blessed with the little guy I have now helps so much.
Chick,
I agree with your comment, but I think I was having a hard time trying to fully explain what I meant.
LL's comment about "failure is not an option" kind of hit home because it felt like the LLL were really borderline obsessive with helping me. And for someone having extreme difficulty (as I was) and feeling like a failure (as I did), going to them made a World of difference to me. They gave me so much support and encouragement .... but I think any Mother that decides to turn to them should be well aware of what to expect. I admit I was almost shocked about how involved they became (and maybe it was just the particular group I was with, I don't know if all LLL groups are like that).... but in the end, all I wanted to do was successfully BF, and I owe it all to them.
I can tell you as a hippie chick,homebirthing,barefoot and pregnant kind of gal, I was devestated when after day 6 my child was still getting no more than an oz of milk a day.(We are talking an oz after nursing all day long..not an oz at a time!) I had to put him on Goatsmilk as he lost a pound and a half in 6 days.(was only 7 and half pounds to begin with)
I pumped, tried supplements and let my child nurse as often as he would..no milk.I would literally manually squeeze milk into a teaspoon that my husband would hold for me and then feed that to our baby. I was that desperate to BF.
My midwife asked if I would mind letting the baby of one of her other clients nurse on me to help stimulate my milk.
For two weeks this beautiful, strong 9 months old baby went to town. The result..still not enough milk for an infant to survive on.
My midwife refused to prescribe Reglan.
I used so many herbs and teas and finally avery expensive supplement from switzerland but nothing worked. My milk simply never came in.oh, I also tried the beer trick!
I was also unable to breastfeed my other children down the line.
I still nursed all of them for 6 months each..they got very little ,if any milk, but the bonding was fabulous!
I cried when my husband gave our son his first bottle. I was so sad that I was unable to feed my child.
I cried when all of my children received their first bottles.
I was so lucky to have a supportive husband and midwife.
Not all mommies who use bottles or who formula feed do so because they don't understand how to breastfeed or because they don't want to breastfeed. Some of us just are not fortunate enough to supply enough milk for our children.
The supply and demand mentioned above may apply in some cases.Reality though is that not all women have an ample milk suppy(and not due to a lack of trying!) and therefore are forced to resort to bottles &formula or its alternative.Unless of course you choose to buy breastmilk from a milk bank or a wetnurse.
which is expensive!
an oz of milk is around $3.00
4:24
I'm so sorry, that must've been so devastating for you, especially since you went through so much and tried so hard.
Some Mothers are lucky that they have no problems at all, and others ... no matter what they do, it just never happens.
And the others, who are just inexperienced and nervous, or have some health issues (I fell into this catagory) ... they can sometimes overcome these problems with some really good support.
i don't think that anyone would disagree that a small percentage of mothers are physically unable to breastfeed for whatever reason. statistically, it's a very small percentage (1-2%).
the more common story that i have seen over and over in nursing mothers i know is that the mothers are insecure about their supply even though baby is gaining weight. they start to supplement. baby gets plugged with formula and nurses less. mom's supply goes down. nipple confusion ensues. and soon mom stops trying to nurse.
chick, i think that going in to breastfeeding with a half assed attitude is why so many women fail at it. the *failure is not an option* mindset worked for me because i really did feel that way ~ it was that important to me.
i wanted to add that i meant failed AT BREASTFEEDING. not failed at life or motherhood or anything else.
NNJ, i took reglan to increase my milk supply with all three of my babies.
posted by LL.
LL,
I agree that feeding a baby is very much a thrilling and special bonding time. I've bottledfed...7 babies in the last 14 years, and I loved feeding them.
Maybe that's why I have never felt any huge urge to BF. I *know* that bottlefeeds can be just as much of a positive for baby and the involved feeder.
Maybe it's a nanny thing - we care for and love kids that we haven't got a blood tie or legal tie to, and we still manage to bond quite nicely. At least the nannies I know manage to do so!
I know I'm being horribly anecdotal here, but I just don't feel the passion you obviously do.
In any case, as I said above, it's a moot point. For one thing, if I adopt I will be bottlefeeding. Or maybe just feeding, depending on the age of the child, lol! For another thing, I am not anticipating a pregnancy at this point, and for a third thing, I take meds that aren't conducive to BF'ing from what I have read.
LL said: "chick, i wasn't comfortable with a lot of things about motherhood before they happened. i wasn't thrilled about the idea of breastfeeding and i certainly wasn't hip on the idea that an 8 pound baby would be passing through my vagina. i was abused as a child and i really was always the sort of person who hated unnecessary touching. rather than being a burden, i ended up really loving breastfeeding and found it very healing. i'm not sure exactly what your issue with it is and i don't want to pry, but maybe therapy before conceiving would be helpful. i know people who have never breastfed would probably disagree, but if you don't do it, IME, you are missing out of one of life's most meaningful joys."
MPP, I am so very glad the LLL was able to help you, and willing to go as far as you needed them to go for you.
From what I hear from friends across the country, most LLL groups are pretty intense. I do think that reputation scares some women away. LLL members often refer to themselves as "lactivists", and they are just that.
Heck, many many moons ago, when my mom was nursing me she went to an LLL meeting. She never went back, because, and I quote, "Those women were CRAZY!" :-)
MPP said: "Chick, I agree with your comment, but I think I was having a hard time trying to fully explain what I meant.
LL's comment about "failure is not an option" kind of hit home because it felt like the LLL were really borderline obsessive with helping me. And for someone having extreme difficulty (as I was) and feeling like a failure (as I did), going to them made a World of difference to me. They gave me so much support and encouragement .... but I think any Mother that decides to turn to them should be well aware of what to expect. I admit I was almost shocked about how involved they became (and maybe it was just the particular group I was with, I don't know if all LLL groups are like that).... but in the end, all I wanted to do was successfully BF, and I owe it all to them."
Again, I admire your passion for BF, but I guess my big issue is more semantics. Why is "fail" the word to use when a woman can't BF or even tries halfheartedly and decides it's not for her?
Why not use "wasn't able to...", or some similar phrase? I think a lot of time successful BF'ers fail to recognize how hurtful their words can be for a mom who chose a different path, regardless of reason.
LL said: "chick, i think that going in to breastfeeding with a half assed attitude is why so many women fail at it. the *failure is not an option* mindset worked for me because i really did feel that way ~ it was that important to me."
Chick
I am so sympathetic to Moms that can't or won't BF, for whatever their reason .... it is none of my business. But, for Moms that DO, but can't and feel like a failure (which I did, and that's why Lindalou's words hit close to home) ... then the LLL would be the place to go. However, a Mom should be on notice about the Group, and what she's in for -- because you described it perfectly ... Lactivists!
I hadn't heard that term, but it's on the mark.
i'm sympathetic and respectful towards the mothers who try their best to breastfeed and either can't physically do it or fail due to lack of advise or support. i do not feel sympathy or respect for people who don't even try and choose to bottle feed their babies despite all the evidence that it's not the healthiest choice for them.
i do consider myself a lactivist. i'm nursing my 3.5 year old as we speak.
you often hear women express regret about having bottlefed, but you never meet a woman who breastfed and wished she hadn't.
I respect ALL women and the feeding choices they make for their children from infancy onward. I may disagree with their choices, but I would never dream of denigrating them personally. Not if they feed formula, foie gras, or fast food. Not my child/charge, not my business, unless I am asked for my opinion.
I guess that's the difference between me and a lactivist. To use your situation as an example, I don't think a 3.5 yo needs to be bf, but unless it's my 3.5 yo and my breast, it's not an opinion I would walk up to you and share publicly.
If someone decided to BF their 3.5 year old in front of me and I was uncomfortable, I would likely simply move somewhere else or politely excuse myself.
Of course, I might be doing so while trying to keep a 3.5 year old and a 1.5 year old from loudly asking what that lady was doing, and then explaining that some big kids still drink milk from their mommy's breast.
With the cost of Farmer's milk these days, I'm definitely on the lookout for other sources of milk.
it always cracks me up when people act like human lactation is gross, yet they'll drink the lactation of a dairy cow.
and chick, i've never claimed that i respect everyone's parenting choices. in fact, i think it's pretty obvious that i don't. i most markedly find plenty of choices not deserving of my respect. just to clarify: i don't respect people who hit their children in the name of discipline, i don't respect people don't even attempt to give babies the best nutrition, i don't respect people who ignore or nelgect their kids, i don't respect people who let babies cry alone in their cribs. i could write a novel.
LindaLou
Its not your place to judge anyone. Over the last few weeks I think posters on this board have made this clear. Have some class. You often times have good to say but your bad attitude seriously overshadows the good. Nobody here is going to shape up from your attacks. This is a public forum and everyone should feel welcomed to post. I've seen you attack posters until they leave the board. If you have a cause stand up for it, but don't bully your views onto others. I'm beginning to think you enjoy causing hurt and to me that's just sick. Please keep having your opinions and offering your advice but stop with the attacks. I hear a kind voice much louder than I do an angry, accusing voice. Got it?
Parenting choices are a much larger category than feeding choices, don't you agree?
Oddly, I am not overly fond of milk, so I am afraid that point is MOOOOOO-t.
You remind me a lot of a former friend. She became not only a lactivist but a sanctimommy, and I decided she was not a healthy person for me to associate with. WAY too judgemental about what other people chose to do with their breasts.
Frnakly, I don't have a horse in this race. I get annoyed with fevered lactivism on behalf of my former and current employers and my friends who made choices you personally don't "respect".
I don't respect negative and derogatory activism of any sort.
And that's pretty much it for me - I wasted lots of time beating this horse to death with that former friend, and you and I will never agree on your stance, so...
good night!
How do you breastfeed a three year old, while typing on the computer?
Instead of typing away, why not relax with your nursing toddler. And spend time with him/her. Instead of blogging with strangers.
I mean quality time.
12:39, you do not get to tell me what my *place* is. i'll think what i want and express it. if it makes you feel better to call me a bully and calim falsely that i attack people, you go right ahead. apparently you think it's your place to be the thought police. if jane disapproves of my posts, she can pull them as it's her blog. you, on the other hand, can kiss my butt.
chick, you get to feel annoyed on behalf of people you know who chose to formula feed, yet you think it's peachy to call me sanctimonious and compare me to a former friend who turned out to be an asshole, bash and devalue the LLL which is a wonderful organization for people who desperately need breastfeeding support, all the while pretending you're so much less judgemental? pffffffffttttt. give me a break!
3:05, i spend ALL my time with my three year old and i have since the day he was born. if i want to sit down at the computer for a few minutes while he nurses to sleep, i will. thanks for your fake concern though.
12:39, instead of posting the same ridiculous thing on every thread, why don't you go back to posting under your moniker? Just keep it honest this time.
chick said, "I guess that's the difference between me and a lactivist. To use your situation as an example, I don't think a 3.5 yo needs to be bf, but unless it's my 3.5 yo and my breast, it's not an opinion I would walk up to you and share publicly.
If someone decided to BF their 3.5 year old in front of me and I was uncomfortable, I would likely simply move somewhere else or politely excuse myself."
***********************************
chick, i'd like to address this. how is your saying this (your opinion) to me on this blog, any different than my expressing my opinion. are you suggesting that i go around harassing bottle feeding mother's in public? i'd do the same as you'd do, mind my own business.
Um, 3.5 is nothing. They say if you can BF until the kid is 3 nowadays, then go for it.
But I will admit I was shocked when I took my son for a check-up and noticed a rather large "toddler" nursing in the waiting room. I couldn't help myself, so after the Mother gave me a kind smile, I asked, "How old is your daughter?"
"She's 5 and a 1/2", says the Mother.
I smiled back but she obviously noted my shock and said, "Don't worry, I get that all the time".
Hey ... at least she was nice, huh? :)
What about teeth?
LL, instead of claiming I said this that or the other, why not quote me and show proof?
I did not call YOU sanctimonious, I did not "bash" LLL, and I did not say anything about YOU bf'ing a preschooler. I spoke about my former friend, I spoke about the extra passionate activism LLL demonstrates, and used YOUR BF declaration as an example of what my reaction to that scenario would be in person.
You said you don't respect parents who choose to use formula, ("i don't respect people don't even attempt to give babies the best nutrition") indirectly comparinging formula use to hitting children, etc., etc.
Again, this discussion is fairly pointless from my perspective. You have your POV, and I have mine. I see no point in further debate, but if you choose to continue to claim I said things I didn't say, I will continue to defend myself.
Have a good day!
MPP, if extended BF works for a mom and a child, that rocks. My opinion matters not a sliver, and I expect the same respect/benign indifference from any other woman.
Just because I wouldn't do it doesn't make it wrong, KWIM?
Oh crap take cover here comes LL, again!
Chick
May I reiterate:
"I am so sympathetic to Moms that can't or won't BF, for whatever their reason .... it is none of my business."
9:32
What you decide to do with your body is your business .... I am not a judgmental person, and would respect you or any other woman whether your choose to BF or not.
Chick:
"My opinion matters not a sliver, and I expect the same respect/benign indifference from any other woman.
Just because I wouldn't do it doesn't make it wrong, KWIM?"
Maybe I'm reading your post wrong, but I'm hoping your not confusing me with someone else who disagrees or disrespects any choices you have made.
That's not why I bothered to post, and I have no desire to refute yours or anyone elses opinion on this subject.
what does KWIM mean?
Know What I Mean
KWIM
Duh - I couldn't figure that one out. lol. Thanks!
12:39 here
Lindalou you don't know me from shiot! Get some friends and stop being such a rag. Seriously who breast feeds their child and chews people out at the same time? Obviously someone who is of good character. Flame on you big nag!
12:39/11:27
You are so not going to let LL upset you, are you? Too many people do, and it gets to be something really difficult to watch on here.
Please don't be bothered.
12:39 again
Hell no, LindaLou can be as upset with me as she wants. Let the insults fly, but be warned I can't defend myself until after work. Don't like to use the computer on company time, kisses LL!
I have so much to say about BF and have not because I too, fear being attacked by the same person attacking 1239 & 1127 and so many others on several threads.
What used to be interesting and fun is now all to often turned into a free bash session for someone in serious need of therapy.
She is very angry. If you read her latest posts, she reveals great reason for the anger. This is her outlet for it.
So, I hope that before you allow yourself to get too caught up you will just walk away and try hard to let all of the mean, judgemental things that are aimed at you roll off your back.
She is a bully and will not let up.
you anonymous folk are hilarious. i haven't said anything on this thread that a normal person could possibly consider *angry* or *attacking*. weird. if you have an opinion on the actual topic, please do share, but i'm sure no one, myself included, wants to be bothered reading about me all day. i'm not at all exciting.
as for your allusions to my being angry over being an abused child. seriously, you're an asshole. who claims to care about the welfare of children then slings that crap around as a weapon?
chick,
I did quote you. also you did use the term *sanctimommy* in comparing me to your *friend*. do i get to say you remind me of my frienf who is a *delusionanny* and then pretend i didn't call you delusional? ;) and yeah, calling LLL a bunch of crazies is bashing in my book. their just a bunch of lactating women, not a terrorist cell.
and on that note, i'm pretty much donw with this converation unless someone has an actual, genuine question or something.
***note to anonymous @ 11:27, 11:38, 11:47, 11:54. your posts would be more likely to look like different people if you waited more than a couple minutes in between postings. the way it stands, it just looks like you're talking to yourself. there aren't THAT many posters here. i'm just saying... :P
Lindalou, no one is "slinging that crap around as a weapon"
It was sincere. You have revealed a few personal things in the last few days of posting. It is only natural that anyone putting 2 and 2together would then discover the reason for your intense anger and rage.
AND You do rage on sister!
Unfortunately, you have painted yourself as a bully.Several posters have brought this up in the last two weeks.It is not one or two, it has been several.
If you were to get your anger under control, I beleive you could come across as a knowledgeable mommy with much experience to share.
This blog is not the therapy that you are seeking. You are alienating other posters and not at all helping yourself.
Do not take this as an attack. Please see it as someone trying to offer sincere advice..from one mommy to another.much luck and warm wishes sent your way!
LL,anon 1154 here..I posted 1154 but not the others! Hate to burst your bubble but you have upset more than one poster obviously today,as usual.
riiiiiiight... @@. there really are no depths to which you won't sink, are there, jackhole?
LindaLou, do you notice the pattern?? It is ALWAYS you involved in the petty catfights on here. You truly come across as a mean person. I am not saying that you but that is how you come across. Cant you try to stop fighting with everyone? Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and you are NOT always in the right. You are so opinionated and one sided it is disgusting. I really wish you would just go away-this site would be much nicer.
well, tell you what..if I did not think jane had better things to do I would ask her to look at the incoming posts just to satisfy you!
I am tired of you blaming me for all of the mad posts aimed at you left by others whom you have offended.
You need to get a clue..LL , you need help!
You are pissing people off left and right here, continually..not just me..but here is the kicker..I told you wich post I left.. so,you figure it out!
I posted 1154..as I have stated twice now..I did not post 27,38 or 47..you are wrong!
I am done.For the record, I hope the person that gets off work and responds to all your nasty judgemental remarks, tears you apart, cause you are a bitch!You really are!
people have asked you to stop people have shown sympathy, some have just downright attacked back..nothing works!!
signed lindalous personal poncing pad! Jackhole!
MPP, sorry if my post read as more of a rebuttal than a friendly comment! I have no issue with you at all. :-) I was going to add (tm Umass) to my "rock on" comment, but decided not to - maybe I should have?
I was just reiterating what my position has always been, and I think we feel pretty much the same:
Do what's right for you and your child. You make the choice that's right for you, and I am not going to disrespect that in any way.
Cheers!
LL, if you would like to debate my MOTHER on her opinion of a LLL meeting she went to many decades ago, feel free to let me know. My MOTHER said "and I quote, "Those women were CRAZY!" :-)"
I think LLL is very intense, and their lactivist stand frightens away many women who could genuinely use their help. IMO, softening their approach would help them reach more women and they might then make huge strides in getting more women to BF. (For example, MPP had what sounds like intense SUPPORT, not strident intensity.)
Beyond that, you did not "quote" me in any other post, and telling you that you remind me of my lactivist sanctimommy former friend does not equal calling YOU a sanctimommy. Trust me, if I felt the need to call you names I would do so straight out, just as you do to so many people who annoy you.
TTFN!
as far as the LLL goes..they are made up of several kinds of women. The luck of the draw has much to do with who your first contat is with.. You might get someone like LL or you might get someone like MPP for your advaocate..very different pesonalities and very different approaches.
some will relate to MPP some to LL.
Chick
I was hoping I misread your post ... I do believe we share the same views here in that we respect what each woman does with her own body.
Thank you for clearing things up!
:)
To Lindalou
I've personally noted 11:54/1:25 trying not to cause trouble on here lately, and you have mistakenly assumed she's every other angry poster that has something not so nice to say to you.
Just wanted you to know.
1239 here..
LindaLou
I would first like to start off by saying, WTF?? Seriously, you like to give the impression that you are Gods gift to children and blah, blah, blah but come on now! Get the Hell off the computer. Seriously how do you even have time to be super mom? I see your posts are from ALL throughout the day. Get your ass off the computer women and put your knowledge to work. Good gravy!
Side note: I would like some tips on how to be Psychic LL since you seem to know who posts everything. Do you use a crystal ball, tarot cards or.. Oh wait, you were called out on your shenanigans by posters you ASSumed were other people. I was ROFL with that one, I really was. Too funny! But I digress and I apologize for that..
I would now like to acknowledge your use of the term Jackhole. OBVIOUSLY you like to carry this little gem around with you in your tacky tapered mom jeans pocket. Go ahead and keep it in there along with your wit and charm. That way we don't need to EVER HEAR it again. Lord knows your wit and charm never get to see the light of day. Unless you're cool like UMass , you may not use it. Thanks in advance.
If I may, I would like to touch a bit on your rude, arrogant manner. Did anyone teach you how to have grace and cooth? Seriously it would do you some good to take a manners class. I took the liberty of looking up a manners class in your area. No need to thank me Lindalou, I don't have a kid hanging from my boob whom I should be taking care of. I have ALL the time in the world. Glad I could be of assistance to you.
Last but certainly not least I would like some light to be shed on your thread crapping. Do you comment to cause fights or is it to see your name as number one poster? IMHO I believe you like to see your name being number one. Cause sweetie pie with your attitude I'm guessing your lacking in the friends department. Must you use ISYN as your validation that you're popular? You remind me a lot of a child. You like attention bad or good. If it's not good then you'll take bad, no biggie.
I'm ready for your attack now, flame on!
9:39
I was sooo hoping you would sit this one out. I know how hard it can be when your being accused of something you didn't do.
Just kick back, ok? You don't need to get into it again. It's not worth it.
- Your friend from the other night.
sorry, 9:59. I wrote the time down wrong.
Dear friend from the other night...thanks for the vote of confidence, however, I did not post the 9:59 comment you are reffering to. I posted today at 1154& again at 1246..have not posetd since. LL has really made an impression on someone other than myself today.
I have been out in the yard enjoying my family!
Wish I could prove to you it was not me..you will just have to take my word for it.
Thanks again, I hope you can see your post helped me a lot the other night.
I have been avoiding LL.( except for one post today and I simply could not help myself!.) called her a bitch for accussing me of being every nasty poster on this blog!It Was wrong..but made me feel better!
otherwise, though it has been hard, I simply switch threads when I see her moniker!!
See the gotta go..thats me!!
BFN & happy posting!
Wow, I don't want to add fuel to yet another flame war, but LindaLou said "you often hear women express regret about having bottlefed, but you never meet a woman who breastfed and wished she hadn't." and actually...My best friend BF exclusively to the point where each of her 3 children refused to take a bottle EVER, (even of breast milk), which meant that for about 8 years straight, she was NEVER able to be out of the house or away from her kids for more than about an hour or so at a time. That would certainly drive me bonkers and I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Also, I did BF some but had some problems producing, partly because of medications I take and partly perhaps because when my son was in the NICU, they didn't want me to BF him at first, even when he was ready to start eating without the feeding tube, because of my meds. BUT, that meant that his daddy was able to share 50/50 in that feeding time bond with me, which is a wonderful thing IMO. They are very close, and I can't help but wonder if most dads who were never able to feed their baby have a more limited bond with them.
dear friend, just thought I'd mention that I did not post the 1239 post either.
Nite
12:04
I wasn't sure, but see, I made myself just as guilty as the others for assuming it was you!
I'm so sorry! lol - forgive me?
Take care my new friend.
no problem 12:43.
I noticed somebody seemed to pick up right where I left off though.
Unfortunately, I knew that would happen, if not me, someone else would fall prey.
Anyhow, happy posting. I hope to run into you again soon.
-A friend
Oh, you will. I just hope next time I don't confuse you with another poster. I know how you like to speak your mind, lol.
Thanks for being so cool.
~ a friend
Wife of an MD and mother to one infant son here.
I don't have a daytime nanny. I like to spend all my waking hours with my son... but, I do have a night nanny...
the reason...
I suffer from insomnia. Which means most nights I don't even get to fall asleep until midnight or 2am at the earliest!! Then, my son wakes at 6 am... I am dead tired if I have to get up with him, and not that fantastic of a mother if I am a walking zombie. So, we have a night nanny. She is here from 11pm-10am. That way I can actually sleep some!
So before you go bashing on people with night nannies or SAHMs with nannies... there are some of us who do have VERY vaild reasons.
2:43/friend
Just so you know, I am picking up this moniker.
Wife of an MD and mother to one infant son...
News flash..I too suffer from being up all night..its called being a mommy.
I have a16 yr old that I often lay awake waiting for to get home. Football games, parties and School Dances often keep him out. He also has a hobby-turned job as a DJ and sometimes his gigs run late..I am up worrying. In between the dozing off and on I am up to soothe my daughter (turned 2 last week) from her night terrors. Poor baby.
And in between the dozing and the night terrors I am up to BF my 10 month old who loves to eat at least twice a night.
I won't even go into what my nights are like when anyone is sick or has an earache!!
I do not mean to seem insensitive, but I would kill for the 2am-6pm sleeping schedule you have.
I still get up at 6am to make lunches and work ft from 730am-530pm every day.
I am sorry you suffer from insomnia. It must be terrible.
There is still very little anyone can do to change my mind about needing a night nanny.
With the exception of a mommy too ill to be up with her child..and I mean ill.Not a cold, not sleep deprived and not because she works full time!
Your baby will only be a baby once..you can sleep when he is 50!
Sorry I meant 2am-6am sleep schedule
Dear friend, It might take me a day or two( to find my new identity) as I am not big on the whole moniker idea.
I will use one here and there until I find something fun !
I will be watching for annonomore!
you will find me ..I have no doubts!
Remember, I am the one with the opinionated opinions!! Happy posting!
whoops..anonnomore! Tee-hee
This is not what Jane had in mind. I'm guessing.
lu@ 250..You are right. But until I find the time to come up with the oh so clever moniker that I am being forced in to coming up with,(or, even just something that I like) I would like to keep posting. Whats the difference anyhow..I am not posting under anonymous , am following the new rules and just buying some time until I find my new identity.
Goodness, lets get back to the kids . I am a big girl and will worry about me.
Conformity does not suit everyone, I am trying here..okay?!
3:10
Forgive me if I don't take the time to write out the whole moniker, LOL.
If I may be so bold, I think what you did was just fine and clever. You don't have to lose your anonymity by picking a particular moniker. You should feel free to change it up as you wish.
:)
Speaking of which, friend, I guess I need to change my moniker. Too confusing and close to anonymous.
Hmmmmm, what to do.
anonnomore = cfg
Happy posting to you, too!
fg with a c in front of it!!
I will keep my eyes open for you!
Thanks MPP! I will have fun changing it up until something clever or fun..or both jumps out at me!
Oh, you are a trip "monikers aren't my bag baby" - love it!
And before you get suspicious, I'm NOT fg, ok? I decided to just use my initials, rather than beat my brain and come up with something clever, lol.
gotcha!! I was curious if you were one in the same?
I understand the initials thing..it really is funny... I have said to myself atleast 5 times"oh, this ridiculous, make a decision already!"So silly!
I can just see my husbands face when he asks what I did all day..
"umm,sat in front of the computer and tried to come up with a clever moniker to use on ISYN"
As a matter of fact I am going to call him at work and ask for his advice!
I have to be careful though..he is a wild one. when I met him his personal plate on his mustang was "nallgas"! Yikes!
Until I come up with something ,I will be keeping my options open!
glad you found yours!!
BFN, Happy Posting!
amonikerforme
LOL, I will say this much, I am a "regular" (ugh, hate that term) - so you've probably figured out that much, right?
You'd probably crap a brick if you were to really figure out who I was. (hee-hee) But I'm a "good guy", so don't worry.
I think your change-up monikers are hilarious! I'm sure you will come up with something clever and funny, you've got a great sense of humor.
Good luck!
amonikerforme
I got to thinking about my "good guy" comment and what I meant was that I try not to get wrapped up in the arguments on here, and I didn't mean that to sound obnoxious.
The only reason I intervened above was because I am pretty sure most of the time when you are posting, and I like what you have to say, but it bothers me when it starts getting really nasty and everybody ends up fighting. Bottom line, I think the jackhole comment got to me the most. I'm not saying anything against anybody else on here, but I just wanted to see if I could calm you down a little and stop that saying.
I like the calmer you! :) But don't let that stop you from being the fantastic opinionated poster I know you can be!
Bye for now!
cfg, yes, I know you are a regular.
And a clever one at that!
Thanks for helping me to find my sense of humor the other night.
That took great character.
Well, me husband gave me nada in the moniker department!!
So, back to the think tank I go!
silly rabbit
Why am I a clever regular? Because I tried to mediate an argument? Nah. I just got tired of seeing you get beat up, even if you are a meanie, lol.
P.S.
Tell your husband he's fired!
:)
CFG, well put.
As for my opinion, my mother will tell you I was born with it..
my husband will tell you he married me for it..
and I will tell you that my very opinionated opinion often gets me into trouble.
For now it is going no-where.
And for the record, I have a feeling the Jackhole moniker got to several posters! Me included
still searching for that moniker.....BFN
cfg..this is the new me..what do you think? Does it make my butt look big??
Hope you are having a fabulous weekend!!
Ha-Ha!! I think it's fantastic! You are so hilarious!
I hope you are having a wonderful weekend yourself!!
I will keep my eye out for you!
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