Seen Monday July 14 at Dartmouth Totlot, Albany CA. About 4:00 to 4:30 PM. A 45-50 yr old nanny, white with longish auburn wavy hair and what sounded like a Russian accent. Medium build. Double stroller, back to back style, so not much bigger than a regular single stroller, with 2 girls who looked like a mix of white and Asian. Older about 2 1/2, younger about 15-18 months.2 fairly mild incidents but if I were their parent, I'd want to know, so I'm posting this. As soon as they arrived, nanny got the girls out of the stroller and they ran off to play. Nanny was about 25 feet away, not looking at them, getting out her phone, probably to call the mom, since she talked to her a few minutes later. Older girl was hanging over the "big kid" swing on her stomach, swinging that way, and almost immediately went straight over head first and landed on her head. There was a bouncy surface around the swings but she could have still injured her neck that way and she started crying loudly and cried for a long time. Nanny hurried over and asked her what happened, then cuddled her while she continued to cry. The girl may have cut her lip or something because the nanny was looking at her mouth and saying "now you have a big boo-boo". After a few minutes, Nanny was talking to Mommy on the phone while girl was still crying and saying how they had just gotten to the park and the girl had fallen and oh my goodness, did she cry a lot. Held the phone up to the girl and asked if she wanted to say hi to Mommy. She didn't' really explain of course, that the girl had fallen on her head while she had been 25 feet away with her back turned and she didn't even know how it had happened.
As I was leaving, the nanny was talking to the younger girl, telling her very sternly and seriously that she must NOT go in her diaper because they did not have a clean diaper to change her into, and that she must wait until they got home and go in the potty. This may open the door to a huge controversy, because maybe this was some sort of potty training "boot-camp" approach, but the little girl was very upset and started to cry at being told she was forbidden to potty when she needed to. There was no mention of using a tiny portable potty or finding an appropriate place for her to let it out, just that she had to not do it until they got home. It just struck me as either very unprepared to not have an extra diaper for a child that age, or very unreasonable to demand that she hold it, without making any effort to allow her to go when she needed to.
The nanny seemed to have a nice bond with the girls and wasn't scolding or speaking harshly, but it seemed a bit odd to me.
27 comments:
So your problems are that this nanny:
-had her back to the children for a moment while she looked for the phone to call their mother
-didn't say to the mom, "I was looking in my bag so I didn't see how she fell"
-either didn't have a spare diaper or was employing a potty training technique you don't agree with
I'm curious to know if this was the nanny of a friend whether you'd call her up to report these transgressions. Maybe you would, and maybe this nanny needs a reminder to be prepared. It sounds to me like she's human and a caring loving nanny to these two girls.
Um, yah...
when I go to the spa, I expect great service the whole time I am there.
When I buy a handbag, I expect that the threading and leather will maintain.
When I buy a new refrigerator, I expect it will keep all of the food cold.
Why don't we all dial up the level of care we provide to children and expect childcare providers to provide.
It's um...kind of more important than most of the other sh&t, you know?
when you're at the spa, do you expect superhuman service? i can't keep my eyes on two moving targets, can you, starkey?
"Nanny hurried over and asked her what happened, then cuddled her while she continued to cry."
"Nanny was talking to Mommy on the phone while girl was still crying and saying how they had just gotten to the park and the girl had fallen... "
"Held the phone up to the girl and asked if she wanted to say hi to Mommy."
"The nanny seemed to have a nice bond with the girls and wasn't scolding or speaking harshly."
You're right, I'm sure the mother would want to know what a wonderful nanny she has!
So wait..what's the problem? Nanny sounds fine to me....
I agree with Liv...I hope the parents read this and see what a nice nanny they have.
Agreed, JJ. I guess OP thought the child falling off the swing could have been prevented if the nanny had been closer. But kids need to fall down to learn, in my opinion. Child in question was a pre-schooler, so 20-25 feet should have been a good enough distance.
As far as what was said to the child in the diaper, we don't really know how old the child was. Children don't always look their age. My own child is very tall for her age, off the charts for height and people always think she is older than she is. Perhaps this child looked younger than she really was, and the nanny was trying to get her to potty-train. Who knows? Overall, she sounds like an ok nanny to me: OP seems to think otherwise.
Kids fall, it happens. In my opinion, the parents/nannies who are hovering an inch behind the child with the fear that they might fall are hurting their children more than if they just let them be. Those kids will grow up sheltered and scared of everything.
Potty training-well, everyone has different techniques...some I agree with, some I don't. And as a nanny, we're sort of forced to follow the parents' technique, whether we like it or not. (ie; I had an 18 mo old completely potty trained using my own techniques and the mother then told me that she didn't think he was ready yet, and regressed him back to diapers until he was 3 (and She was ready)).
I agree, I don't think this is a bad nanny. I am glad you are looking out for children though, OP. But I feel that kids need their independence and have to learn things. At 2.5 it is okay if she falls down :) As for the potty training, we don't know if that is actually how the mom wants her potty trained. The girl may just have been upset because she was being told what to do and at that age they do not like that! :)
Wow, I hope you never watch me nanny. I watch two boys who bonk their heads at least once a week at the park. Most of the times they get up, dust themselves off, and keep running. When they cry, I do what this nanny did. You hold them, check 'em out, and tell them they'll be ok.
As to the potty training, this could be a different style, or she may have forgotten a diaper. I don't bring extra diapers to the park, since the kids live three blocks away. When the diaper's full, we run back home.
Also, I'm guessing that if the little girl is in diapers still (not pull-ups or big kid undies) that she probably hasn't learned to use the toilet yet. Of course the nanny wants to keep the child happy and comfortable, which she would not be if she had to walk around in a wet diaper. She wasn't screaming at the little girl. You said she was telling the child "firmly" not to pee in her diaper. And since when is being firm with a child a bad thing?
My opinion I think this is the grandma. Where I live theres alot of Russian grandmas that watch their grandkids. And in the same age range 45-50.
I don't see how this is a bad sighting.
I would love to have a stranger observe my nanny in action. I would hope it would be good, but how awesome is this? The parents of this child can review this and decide for themselves if this is the sort of care they imagined their child was receiving.
I forgot about the no anonymous commment thing. Old habbits...
I think the first part was fine. I had twins and believe me, they find ways to get hurt, even under direct supervision. It seemed the nanny was in direct communication with the Mom and let her know right away. The mom is free to ask any details about how her child got hurt.
As to the second part, hard to say. I don't agree with making a child uncomfortable. If she was really potty training her and she cried, then I'd have said do you have to go now, i'll take you. But if it was just for a few minutes and they were leaving, then that doesn't sound that bad.
This Nanny seems to be doing her job quite nicely. You can tell a child a dozen times if they do this or that they will get hurt and they do it anyway. So now this one has her lump and I bet she won't do it again. All people potty train differently so I am not going to complain about her telling the child not to wet the diaper because there are no extras. She may have just changed the child and used the last one.
Sounds ok to me.
I'm not going to lie and say I think what this nanny did as far as the potty thing was cool, but she doesn't seem too bad at all.
Just the same though, thank you for keeping your eye out for other kids safety, OP.
OP here. Like I said, these things were pretty minor and I don't think she was a bad nanny, seemed pretty good really, but if I were the parent I'd want to know so I sent this sighting in. If they agree with the potty thing, fine.
OP
Feel good about what you did, and make no excuses. You were actually complimentary where needed, and complained where you thought this nanny had faults.
I'd say you were "guarded and fair" about this sighting.
What? Is this post for real? I'm sorry. This is getting rediculous.
The purpose of this website is to protect children from abusive nannies by reporting the abusive incident where the parents can read about it and identify their nanny. This website not supposed to be a way for you to entertain yourself by picking apart a nanny for not being what you thought she should be. It is also not here because you want to see your post make it online so you can feel like you contributed.
Please stop spying on perfectly good nannies acting like you are doing the world a bit of good. I don't stand over your shoulder while you work at your desk, monitoring your every move.
You can disagree, but just realize that good, caring, hard-working nannies do not like to feel like their every move is being monitored when we go out and about with the kids. Even the best of us have off days, and even our best days we may make a mistake or have a moment that we don't want on camera.
OP,
I just want to point out that even if the nanny had been standing three feet away, facing the girl who was swinging, she still could have fallen of the swing. What, is it the nanny's fault that the girl fell off the swing? I didn't know nannies were supposed to bring giant inflatable pads to the park and set them up around the kids.
This really dosen't seem like a bad sighting to me. Kids get hurt and I think she handled it fine. She probably shouldn't have asked the little girl not to "go" but that's certainly not something that needs to be posted on ISYN. If I found out someone posted something so sill about me on here, I'd be pissed. I mean it's not the little girl actually had an accident and the nanny screamed at her for it. That would be something worth posting.
I meant to say "posted something so silly." Guess I really do need a nap. ;)
Mostly I think the nanny seems like she's ok. She doesn't seem to be mistreating the kids. The diaper thing is a little strange though - she is going to give the kids a complex.
Seriously I couldn't read through all the comments but everyone who said that the nanny had to RIGHT to tell the kid NOT to use the bathroom is out of the gords. This leads to trouble when it comes to potty training. Nanny should've brought a diaper so she IS AT FAULT big time. Accidents happen but you bet your behind she would've been fired for even suggesting this when it comes to potty training and I would tell people she does NOT potty train properly unless you're an IDIOT, DRILL SERGEANT or complete MORON. Just an HONEST opinion because anyone with half a brain who has potty trained anyone knows this.
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