ISYN on Good Morning America

Nanny Cam Debate: Snooping or Good Parenting?
Checking out Nanny Blogs, installing cameras and using GPS tracking are the latest steps Parents are taking to keep track of their Nannies. Good Morning America takes a look at what both Parents and Nannies opinions are of the latest Nanny surveillance technology.

East 70th St. Post Office - UES, NY

I saw this nanny today at approximately 11:30 am in line at the East 70th St. Post Office. She was on her phone, and kicking at the child in the stroller. The child was approximately 2-3, blondish curls a few inches long (though hard to describe more - when she realized that I and another man were paying attention, she began covering the child's head, wheeling the stroller around). The nanny was West Indian by accent, and you can see (vaguely) from the picture below. She became verbally combative when she noticed that we noticed, and began yelling. I paid for the stamp I needed, and her behavior was so erratic, and her kicking at the stroller had also continued, so I tried to take a picture with my phone. The nanny slapped the phone out of my hand, continued yelling at me, cursing wildly, and threatening me that if I tried to take her picture she would make sure I paid for it. I was badly shaken and tried to leave but the nanny followed me with threats and yelling in a very agitated manner. Since she WAS threatening me, I decided exactly to take her photo because she was behaving in such an agitated and aggressive manner - the nanny then blocked the exit I was going to take (down the ramp heading west on 70th st towards 3rd). She began repeatedly thrusting the stroller (with child inside) against walls, then the door, and slapped my phone out of my hand and after I picked it up off the floor I snapped the attached photo. After the incident I realized that a number of my personal photos had been deleted - and damage to the screen, which now has a break diagonally across it. I omitted to note, this nanny also slapped my glasses off.

There were numerous witnesses, only one other woman tried to intervene on behalf of the child (noting that she was shoving the stroller again and again into a door with child inside) and she was also verbally abused by the nanny (she said her husband was fu*%ing his secretary because she was so unattractive). The rest moved away - one of whom said to me, that the nanny was so crazy she was dangerous and just stay away. The nanny left going up towards Third Avenue on 70th.

God help the child in the stroller.
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OP was obviously shaken by this incident. After speaking with them, please note: "I didn't specify the gender of the child because from the cursory (before the nanny threw this cloth thing - a blanket? - over most of the kid) looking at the whole child, my impression clothes and all, it was a boy."

Nanny hailed for saving toddler from path of Streets and Sanitation truck

When nanny Jennifer Anton saw the white pickup truck careening toward her on the downtown sidewalk Saturday afternoon, she instinctively pushed away the stroller carrying her 20-month-old charge.

Little Tyler Jones was hospitalized but spared critical injuries because of her caregiver’s quick actions.

Anton was not as lucky.

“She’s an angel on this earth,” said Hugh Jones, Tyler’s father. “There’s no question that from the eyewitness accounts she pushed the stroller away and took the rather colossal hit herself.” (continued...)

TO READ THE REST: PLEASE CLICK HERE!

Done, Done, and Done...

Dear MB and DB,
I'm not the best nanny for your kids anymore. I used to be. I showed up happy and ready to spend time with your kids. I taught them to read, do multiplication tables, and not eat like wild animals. We did activities, went on adventures, and built entire mini towns in the playroom. I still teach them things. I still love them. But 12 hours is a long day. I get your groceries, do your laundry and dishes, and clean your kitchen. I wake your kids, dress them, and make lunch and breakfast for them before you've showered. Your kitchen is clean and stocked before you arrive at work. Your laundry is done before you eat lunch. I pick up your kids and we talk about their day. We fend off bullies, bake treats, and reach new milestones before your commute home. They've had a dinner and a bath before you arrive home. Your children are fed, clean and sufficiently snuggled before you arrive, which is great because they'll be putting themselves to bed, alone, whenever they feel like it. Because you need downtime. That's cool. I'm just going to do my grocery shopping, laundry, and dishes in the 2.5 hours I have before I have to go to bed because I have to be back before dawn. Your kids love me.

MB, I follow all of your rules for them, which is especially great when I tell them no, and then you say yes 2 seconds later. I really love it when you ask me, the world's dumbest and most unreasonable Nanny, why I did not let your undernourished child have a lollipop in the middle of dinner. Silly stupid Nanny. So mean! Let's pause here to remember that I didn't evacuate during a hurricane to take care of your kids because you wanted to work from home. In the middle of a storm. And when the power went out (shocker!) you read a book behind a closed door while I entertained the kids without benefit of TV and lights. Sorry we built a fort in the playroom you never go in. I realize that was far messier than you're comfortable with, even if it was cleaned up spotless in an hour.

DB, I've never called in sick because I'm afraid the kids would starve because you can hardly work the faucet in the kitchen, let alone the toaster. You can't even change them out of PJs. And are those sick days paid? Who knows? But I totally see your point, that I'm a failure as a Nanny because your 4 year old doesn't know his 12 times tables.

So this is me, totally burnt out. I worked 60 and 70 hour weeks. I've done all you've asked, and I've endured MB's fascination with my diet ("You're eating that? What is it? You like that? I don't know, should I be concerned my Nanny is eating that?" Let's solve the mystery. It's chicken nuggets, and if you were swamped with chores and caring for children, you might eat dinosaur shaped meat, too. And if you're concerned about the hazard of my eating them, you watch the kiddies while I whip up a salad, savvy? Or better yet, just tell me what to eat. Because I cant even go to the bathroom without someone looking for me).

I've been there for your kids and my fridge is covered in drawings. But I'm moving on. Your kids are fantastic, you should get to know them sometime. Pencil in a chocolate bunny dinner. I'm out!

Hearts and stars,
Nanny

Dear Nannies of the Internet,
I'm out of this house and this profession, because I don't know how you saints put up with it. I'm a mortal who finds the task of being upbeat and creative for 12 hours a day 5 days a week impossible. I look up to you, digital friends.

Trader Joe's - Chelsea, Manhattan, NY

I don't normally comment or get upset but today while I was at Trader Joe's I noticed a nanny with a baby in a stroller who wasn't strapped in. I saw her multiple times and am positive the child wasn't strapped at all. The nanny was a bit chubby, wearing a Giants t-shirt, Hispanic maybe? It was an Uppa Baby Vista stroller and had an apartment building valet ticket #7337. It was at the TJ's in Chelsea at 1:30 pm. I'd be livid if my nanny didn't strap one of my children in!

Should Nanny Reveal to Family She is Gay?

Question A: I was wondering if there are any nannies who read this site who are gay and are out to their bosses? Moms and dads who read this, would you be okay with having a nanny who was gay? Would you want to know?

I've been at my current position for over a year. My MB works from home so we spend lots of time together and we're quite close. Usually we spend at least an hour a day just sitting around talking about the kids, her job, my life, their family, and so on. I'm single and I date around quite a bit, so my romantic life is a frequent topic of discussion as I tell her the ridiculous stuff that happens sometimes on dates and seek advice from her when one of my dates does something that confuses me.

The issue is, I'm bisexual, and for the first time since taking this job I'm dating a woman.

If we never discussed my life I would probably have no reason to ever mention this, but she always asks me what I've been up to on my evenings and weekends, which is putting me in the position where I have to decide whether to tell her, "I went on a date" and then have to admit it was with a woman when she asks me about it, lie about what I did, or lie by omission by saying I was out with "a friend". I know my romantic life isn't necessarily any of her business, but I do like talking and sharing with her and I feel bad when I think about lying to her about this, especially since I know I'll be with this family for at least another six months. In that time, I could wind up seriously involved with the girl I'm seeing and lying would only get more difficult and complex.

My bosses are young and pretty liberal, but they're also somewhat religious so I don't really know how comfortable they might be with the idea of a queer woman watching their kids, especially after I've worked for them so long without them knowing this about me.
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Although very similar in nature, these Submissions were sent in by separate Posters. I felt the advice given by Readers would be helpful to both so I thought Publishing them together would be more beneficial. Thanks, MPP.
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Question B: I have recently accepted an au pair job in Europe - which I am super excited about! I have worked as a nanny for many families - but never as a live-in, and I am preparing myself for a very different experience. I have spoken with the family numerous times via skype and we seem to have similar philosophies, etc. My question is this: As a lesbian, do I have an obligation to tell the family before I move in with them for a year? I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I have worked with many families with different beliefs/values and the question of sexuality has never come up (nor would it need to) as it does not change my ability to take care of children. However, moving to Europe and living with a family for year, and presuming I may at some point in time want to date - presents me with a conundrum. Should I tell them prior to going in case they have a problem with it? Or should I not bring it up as it is not a big deal - and bringing it up would make it one? Thanks in advance for your help!

Mother Needs Help Guiding Abused Child

I have recently gotten custody of my 2 young children. I am there mom and my concern is mostly my daughter. Her father was emotionally and verbally abusive and now her whole personality has changed. She refuses to eat she keeps putting herself down and is very angry all of the time. She is 7 and her brother is 8 but she is struggling more than him. Her school work is suffering as well and I am at a loss as to how to help her.

Nanny’s First Job, a Cautionary Tale of Woe

Once upon a time, many many MANY moons ago, a young woman we’ll call, um…Deb, was going to school part time, baby sitting part time, and working at a major retailer part time. One day, she paused to take a breath, looked around, and said to herself, “Self, I think I am ready for a change. What can I do to make money and avoid going to school for a while?” After looking in the newspaper want ads, (I did say this happened a long time ago, right?), Deb wiped the ink from her hands and said, “I’ll be a nanny! That sounds like fun, and I like kids, so it’ll be great!”

After answering several ads, and interviewing with a few families, Deb decided that she wanted to work for a Doctor (D) and an Executive (E), caring for their 18-month-old little boy (T). She was sure the $275 per week salary would be plenty, especially since she would only be working 50 or so hours a week, caring for a little boy who was, according to his parents, easy to amuse. Deb reported to her first day of work full of sunshine and happiness, ready to adore her “charge” and learn all about her new employers from the nanny she was replacing, a sweet Chinese lady. Boy, did Deb learn a lot that first week! She learned that since T was “underweight” he always had to be entertained by a floor show when he was being fed. Singing, dancing, puppet wielding, full on floor show 3 meals a day and 2 snacks as well. She also learned that T got a bottle full of kiddie Ensure mixed with a cup of Hagen Daz vanilla ice cream when he refused to eat anything, which happened, oh, 5 times a day. And Deb learned that E. was pregnant and actually lived in another city, working for a semi-shady fellow who wanted to open a casino. And Deb learned that D not only prescribed antibiotics for his own kid at the drop of a hat, but that he also worked 12 – 24 hour shifts 5 days a week. No matter how Deb tried, she couldn’t make the math work out to her actually working 50 hours when D was at work 70 – 80 hours and E was in a different city.

However, T was cute, and he didn’t seem to actually need that mealtime show to eat once Deb stopped stuffing him with ice cream and Ensure. The fact that they couldn’t leave the property of the condo where Deb worked except to walk on a sidewalk-free road to a duck pond ½ mile away wasn’t so bad. Really, it wasn’t. At all.

Then, pregnant E came home about 6 weeks after Deb started, and cried sad tears about how she missed her baby, and Deb agreed to go and live with E and T in a “suite at a grand hotel” owned by (semi-shady) boss of E. Any guesses as to how grand that “suite” was? Here’s a hint. It was 3 connected rooms in a “hotel” on the level of a low-end Hyatt. So, after getting lectured for ordering room service on her first night in the “suite” after traveling all day with disengaged E and T to get to the completely new, and ever so slightly dangerous, city where Deb knew only her employer, Deb figured out how to find a grocery store, wrested occasional control of the rental car from E after promising she would deliver E to work at 7 am each morning that E didn’t need the car, and Deb set out to find fun things to do with T other than hang out at the low-end Hyatt all day.

Sadly, many playgrounds in the main area of town were “not for our kind of people”, and the days began to drag. Toddler was bored, so E put him in school. T and Deb went with E to see E’s offices, and Deb realized that E was trying (rather hilariously) to hide her very obvious pregnancy from her boss. And then Deb realized, after opening the door to the “living room” one weekend day, that E was a pig-like slob. Which meant that food left where it was dumped tended to bring ants into the “suite”. Deb also realized that if she was around at all on weekends, she would be told to work in the hellish pit of slop created by E because E was “tired and needed a break”. Luckily, there was a mall and a movie theater within walking distance of the low-end Hyatt, and the drivers who took tourists into the city proper always asked Deb Friday and Saturday nights if she was escaping the next day.

Eventually, D came into town so he and E could go house hunting. Of course, it was essential that Deb and T come house hunting too, because that was a terrific day long activity for a 20-month-old on a weekend. Then, it was decided that D, P, and T would go home for a long holiday weekend, and that Deb would be thrilled to NOT go home. After some soul searching, and some discussions with her parents, Deb decided she needed to find out when there would be a house to live in, whether D and E had actually been paying taxes, and, generally, how much longer her 50 hour work weeks would actually be 75 hour work weeks. When Deb asked E those questions, she was told that no house was going to be bought, because it “made more sense” to stay in the low-end Hyatt with a 22-month-old and a newborn, that of course no taxes were being paid, and that Deb should have known that her hours would get longer when baby arrived. So Deb gathered her courage around her like a cloak, and said the magic words, “I am going to give notice as of now, since this situation is not going to get any better.” In exchange for that statement, Deb got to work 2 weeks with E doing her best imitation of an icicle, a ticket home on a 5:30 am flight, and much huffing and puffing about “ungrateful people”.

Deb made her escape after 4 months of 70+ hour weeks, happy to have survived, and sure that she would go back to work in retail. Deb also got scary papers from the IRS a month later, and got to explain that D and E were a bit confused, since Deb was not the employer at all, and Deb was sad that D and E hadn’t been paying the taxes they had to pay. That was pretty fun, actually. Then, Deb discovered that there were actual Nanny Agencies, and that the Nanny Agencies placed nannies with families who understood the concept of a 50 hour work week, and paying taxes, and all sorts of stuff that made it much more fun to be a Nanny. And Deb found a job through a Nanny Agency, and stayed there for 4 years. And then she found another job, through another Nanny Agency, and stayed there 7 years. And so on, and so on…

Deb realized that life as a nanny was pretty terrific when one knew a little about how the nanny world worked, and she also realized that almost every nanny she met had a scary story about her First Nanny Job. And Deb lived (mainly, overall) happily ever after.
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Nanny Deb, aka Tales From the (Nanny)Hood
Professional Nanny and Postpartum Doula
Member of: CAPPA, INA, NANC, PNA, MAN
Blogging at: http://talesfromthenannyhood.blogspot.com/

By Nanny Kelly

6:10: wake up, make coffee, turn on the computer, read the news.
6:40: take a shower and get ready for the day.
7:20: grab breakfast for the bus and leave.
725: catch the bus and eat breakfast on the way.
8 AM: arrive at work, walk into the apartment area of the building and don't find J or her parents.
8:05: put dishes away and start new load in the dishwasher.
8:10: walk down to the factory area of their building and find J with her dad and other employees of his business eating breakfast, sit down with them and have a coffee.
8:30: walk with J back to the apartment area, clean up her breakfast plate, while she takes out coloring supplies.
9:30: we've finished coloring and are studying a world map, we talk about where we are (Europe) where I come from (USA) and where her family's cleaning lady comes from (Brazil)
9:45: clean up coloring supplies, head into the playroom to play Barbie.
10:45: set up a tea party in the playroom.
11:30: play barbie again.
12:00: take a puzzle out onto the patio.
12:45: I start making lunch for us and her dad.
1:20: we sit down to eat together and speak in a mixture of French and English, J finishes most of her plate, tells me how delicious it was and of course asks for a chocolate bunny leftover from Easter for dessert, we (her dad and I) both say yes.
2:00: pack J's snack box and we leave to catch the bus to the natural history museum.
2:30: arrive at the museum and talk about the animals we see.
3:45: sit down at the café for J's snack, I buy a "coca zero" for myself.
4:15: take the bus back to J's.
4:45: arrive home and say hello to her dad, he tells me he'll be up in 5 minutes.
4:50: J takes out coloring supplies again.
5:00: her dad walks in, sits down at the table with us to talk about the day and J gives him a princess coloring book to color in.
5:30: I finish my coloring and J's dad asks if J if she thinks its better if I stay all night, she says "oui!!", her dad tells her that sadly, I must go home.
5:35: I give J a kiss and say my goodbyes.
5:40: make the bus just in time.
6:20: arrive home and make dinner for my husband and I.

I work for an amazing family who really respects me. I feel very lucky.

Fair Reimbursement for Driving Expenses?

Hi, I have a question about reimbursement for driving. I recently asked my nanny to start driving our son to his weekly occupational therapy session. When she asked me to compensate her for the driving, I thought, of course, that makes sense. I get reimbursed for using my own car at work. So I offered to reimburse her $0.51/mile, which is the ongoing rate set by the IRS. She got really offended by what is translated to be $5/week increase (about 10 miles roundtrip). She said that her mother-in-law got a $60 compensation for having the responsibility to drive the kids around during the week. I just want to know what is fair. Because this wasn't part of the job description when we first interviewed her, does it mean we have to give her a salary increase to have to drive my son to one therapy session a week?

Tyson's Corner Shopping Center Play Space - McLean, VA

I was at the play space upstairs at the Tyson's Corner Center shopping center in VA today. Wednesday, May 19 at about 2:30.

I watched a (what I assumed were) brother and sister pair pummel each other, and later pummel other children. They punched, kicked and grabbed each other and looked around to figure out who they were there with. I eventually figured out that they were brought by a nanny. The woman, who seemed to be a Hispanic woman in her 30's (wearing a white, zip-front hoodie), spent the time on her cell phone. She wasn't even speaking to anyone - she was texting or reading. She was completely unresponsive to what her charges were doing.

The girl was about five years old and her younger brother was about three or four. I tried to stop the girl from pouring water all over the climbing structure. An unrelated four year old told her that the boy was being very mean.

I'm not talking about gentle wrestling, there was biting, scratching and full body tackles. It was horrible. Other moms came over to scream at the children. My sister and I took our children and left. It was horrible to watch.

How Should Nanny Approach MB About Pay?

My grandmother just passed away last night. The funeral is several hours away and I need to take 2 full days off of work. I know I am stupid for this, but I don't have a contract with my family. I was a brand new nanny when I started with them 2 years ago and I didn't know any better. I only work 3 days a week for them (30 hours) and I am paid my full weekly amount even if she only needs me for 20 hours or so. My question is, do you guys think I should expect to be paid for taking these two days off? MB is a doctor and really can't call out so I don't know what she is going to do. I don't think I've ever called out before in two years so I'm not sure if I will get my full pay or not.

I'm going to the funeral regardless, but I really can't afford to miss one week's payment. I am scheduled to work on Friday and I will be back to do so, so MB might just doc me two days pay. How would you guys handle this? Thanks!
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My apologies for not posting sooner, I did not realize this was time sensitive.

Nannies: Please Help this Mom

I found this blog while searching for possible answers to my 4 year old sons behaviors. I know this is coming from the opposite side but I would love some feedback from other nannies. This is the first time we have had a nanny in our home. We previously took our boys to an in home daycare. Our nanny started with us a few months ago (March). My four year old son seemed to like her at first. The past four weeks have been a different story. Our nanny only comes 2 days a week. On the days that she isn't here he is constantly asking if she is coming over. He gets excited when I reply "no" and sad/upset when I reply "yes". I've only received two answers from him when I ask about his anxieties. He tells me that he doesn't like her because she is a "bad guy". He just recently told me that she hit baby brother (20 months) and begged me not to tell her that he said anything! I'm not sure if this is something that he made up because he just doesn't like her or if it really happened. I'm worried about confronting our nanny in fear that it might make things worse (if there is a problem) or cause new issues between her and my son. I would love some advice!

ducduc Cribs Recalled

My wife and I enjoy reading your blog. We're expecting our first child and have gotten a lot of useful information from your blog.

We just came across this article concerning a crib recall:
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/recalls04/2011/ducduc-cribs-recalled.html

Needless to say we were shocked as we were actually considering purchasing a ducduc crib, and many of our friends have these cribs as well. We thought you would be interested in this recall and decided to share the article with you. Please let your readers know about this recall!

Enjoy the blog,
Ryan & Rachel

First Time Mommy

I nanny for a wonderful family in which mom is able to work from home. The baby is one year old. I have a question; moms office is across the hall from babys room. They are first time parents. When I try to put baby down for a nap mom comes in, gets baby all excited, and it is really hard for her to go. It is not everyday. I have told mom, maybe baby and mommy can have special time together after nap. Any other suggestions? All advice appreciated.

By Nanny JKD
I look after an 18mth old, 4yr old and 6yr old.

7:50- I start. 4 and 6yr old run down stairs to meet me. I prepare breakfast of muesli and milk, fruit and cup of juice (sippy cup of water for baby)
8- Parents bring 18mth old down and all 3 children have breakfast. Wave bye to parents as they leave.
8:15- 4 and 6 go up stairs to start getting dressed while I tidy kitchen.
8:20- Me and 18mth old head upstairs and i get her dressed alongside helping the other 2.
8:40- Downstairs, shoes and coats on, 18mth old in buggy. I throw a load of laundry in machine
8:45- Walk to school.
9- Drop 6 at school and 4 at pre-school.
9:15-11:15- Me and 18mth old go to mum and toddler group. We play with the toys and do craft while catch up with friends. She has snack of fruit and water.
11:15- Leave for school pick up.
11:30- Pick up 4 from pre school then walk home.
11:45- Home, shoes etc off, I prep lunch of sandwiches, tomatoes and cucumber/carrot sticks with cup of water and fruit for afterwards.
11:55- Lunch time.
12:20- Lunch finished. Take 18mth old upstairs, change nappy and into bed.
12:30-1:30- Me and 4yr old do craft, reading, playing with toys.
1:30-2:45- 4 watches t.v while i sort laundry, tidy up and grab lunch.
2:45- 4yr old gets ready to leave for school run, I go and wake 18mth old and get her ready.
3- Out the door for school run.
3:15- Pick up 6yr old then come back home.
3:30- Snacktime of fruit and water.
3:45- Do homework with 6yr old while 2 youngest play in the play room.
4:15- Homework is finished so we head out into the garden and play.
5- Children come in and play in the playroom while I prep dinner - lasagna with veg, cup of water and fruit mixed in natural yogurt for after.
5:30- Dinner time.
6- Children go and play while i tidy up and get the 18mth old milk ready.
6:15- 18mth old drinks milk while we all sit on sofa and read books.
6:30- Parents come home and I give run down of the day, give all the children a big kiss and cuddle and leave.

Dream Nanny or Childcare Nightmare?

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Natick, Ma - Natick Mall Playspace

Natick, Ma
Natick Mall Playspace
5-12-10
10-1030am

I'm not one to say much but this I couldn't ignore. A busy day in the playspace with lots of children i noticed a German speaking young blonde nanny sitting on the bench on her iPhone for a solid 10-20 mins not looking up at all for a glance. The girls name was Johanna, just seemed odd to let such a young child go unattended.

By Nanny Laura
A Day in the Life (of working alongside a work-from-home parent)

6:45 AM: Arrive on time (like always) with a smile on my face and my lunch in my hand. Mom boss answers door and greets me superficially and then returns to her home office where she continues working on her computer. Says the child (1 1/2 yrs old) is in the family room eating breakfast and watching T.V. with her father.

6:47 AM: I enter family room and greet both the child and her father. Child is in the middle of breakfast and seems to be enjoying watching "Thomas the Tank Engine" on PBS. Father immediately leaves to shower and get ready for work.

6:50 AM: I put my lunch in the refrigerator, then sit down on the sofa and tell my charge "Good Morning" and try to start a kid-friendly conversation. She is in a good mood right now and I hope that she stays that way all day today.

7:00 AM: I go into the kitchen to get some milk and see a whole sinkful of last night's dishes in the sink. On the counter are about six dirty bottles I will need to wash/sterilize later on. I sigh as I wish I could get my chores done now just to get it "over with", yet since mom is close by in the home office, I know that I will have to wait for nap time. I drink my milk and peek inside the dishwasher quickly. Yep, full of clean dishes that need to be put away before the dirty ones go back in. Great! *sigh*

7:20 AM: Dad walks into family room in his boxers and I try to avert my eyes and concentrate on Thomas, Percy and James. Father looks for something, finds it then leaves.

7:30 AM: Dad kisses the child good-bye and waves to me as well, then leaves for work. The child tells me she is done eating and motions for me to get her out of her highchair. I wipe her face, hands and tray, then unstrap her and put her on the floor. I take the highchair tray, dish and cup to the kitchen and hand wash them both. Child is calling my name as Thomas just ended and she doesn't want to watch Pocoyo which follows. I sing a few songs as I clean up which makes her smile. Oops, I forgot to move the highchair back in the kitchen and clean up the floor....

7:45 AM: Mom walks in the kitchen and tells me, "Can you please turn off the T.V. set? I don't want "V" to be watching too much T.V." I comply but inside am wondering why the T.V. didn't bother her before when the Dad was there.

7:50-9:30 AM: "V" and I play in the living room. I read her stories (about 13 or 14), we listen to sing-along CD's and we horse around with some of her stuffed animal puppets. I try to perform a puppet show which she loves. Man, she is a doll. I love this kid!

9:35 AM: Mom walks in living room and inquires if we are going to the park and/or library today?? I understand her asking me to mean that she actually wants us to go to the park and library today. I tell her sure we will if she wants us to. She responds that it is entirely up to me, we are welcome to stay home too if that is what we want to do. I tell her we will go out and she says, "Great!" and cheerfully leaves.

9:40 AM: I make sure "V" is in a fresh diaper and put her hair in barrettes, dress her and put on sunscreen. Mother walks in and reminds me to pack up the diaper bag. I inquire where it is located and she tells me it is in the hall closet. I retrieve the bag and am disheartened to find out it is completely empty. Argh! I spend about 10 min. packing it up with snacks, a water cup, diapers/wipes, sunscreen, an extra change of clothes, sunglasses, hat and books/toys. I make a mental checklist in my head to ensure I didn't forget anything.

10:00 AM: Mom returns and tells us to have fun. She says she likes the outfit I chose for the day. "V" and I walk out the door and to my car where I strap her in the car seat and off we go... away from her crazy Mom!!

10:15- 11:00 AM: We play at the park where I push her in the baby swing (her favorite), make cakes in the sandbox and bounce on the "teeter-totter" (I haven't been on one of these since I was a child!)

11:15-12:00 PM: We arrive at the library just in time for story hour. A young male librarian reads a few stories and sings a few songs, but since he is young and a Male, he seems entirely out of his element. But he's easy on the eyes so I don't mind. After stories, I talk to some of the other mothers there while "V" plays with the blocks and puzzles. Then we leave.

12:20 PM: We arrive home and Mother greets us at the door. Asks us if we had fun and I say of course we did. Then she reminds me to go through the "motions" to get "V" to nap. She says, "Now remember to lay her on her back, on your lap and rock her and sing to her. Make sure she has her pacifier and favorite blanket and the curtains are closed." I comply. When my own children were younger, I would just lay them down in their cribs and close the door. Sure they would cry for about a second or so, but then they were out like a light. But hey that was 1992 and this is 2011 and hardly any parents let their children "cry it out" anymore.

12:45 PM: After much rocking, stroking, massaging and singing, child is sound asleep. I carry her upstairs and lay her in her crib, praying she doesn't wake up which would mean I would have to start the whole process again.

12:50 PM: I return downstairs and begin emptying out the dishwasher. I put away the clean dishes, and fill it up with the dirty ones after I carefully inspect them to be sure they are properly rinsed. I wash the bottles and set them in the sterilizer and turn it on. Then I open the refrigerator to grab my lunch just as Mom boss walks in....

1:15 PM: Mom boss begins to prepare her lunch as well. She cooks everything fresh and I have to admit, my ham sandwich looks pathetic in comparison. I finish up my sandwich, then dig into my hot Cheetos and boxed juice. Mom looks at my food and asks me why I don't eat organic food like they do. She tells me what I am eating is unhealthy and that I should eat better. I tell her organic food is more expensive (just my excuse) and she says it can be, but it is worth it. I am tempted to say, "Well if you paid me more than ten dollars an hour, then maybe I could afford to shop organic" but I keep my mouth shut. She then tells me her child has never been to a McDonalds in her life and never will. I nod as I reach for my twinkie.. Man, I love the creme filling inside. Mom looks at me disgusted and I joke that with my luck, I would eat healthy all day, then one evening I would probably walk outside to check the mail and get hit by a butter truck. Mom ignores my comment and reminds me that there are three laundry baskets that need folding before "V" awakes.

2:45 PM: I hear "V" crying via the baby monitor and hurry to get her. Thank goodness I managed to get all the laundry folded and put away before she awoke. I am starting to feel accomplished and relieved that my chores are over for that day.

2:55 PM: I take a freshly changed "V" downstairs and sit her in her high-chair while I prepare her lunch. I make her organic Mac & Cheese and cut up some veggies for her. Mom boss enters and says "Hello" to "V" and kisses her on the cheek. "V" is ecstatic at seeing her Mommy and shrieks with joy. Then Mom boss tells me I didn't cut the veggies in the correct shape that "V" prefers even though "V" is happily munching on them as we speak. I say nothing and simply nod my head. I then put the Mac & Cheese on a child plate and give it to "V." Mom boss tells me, "Please make sure the plate is on a placemat when you set it on the tray, I don't want any heat marks on the tray, okay?" WTF?? I quietly get a placemat and comply.

3:20 PM: "V" ate all her lunch... yeah! I tell her what a good girl she is, then offer her some fruit for dessert which she happily agrees to. Mom boss reminds me to wash the dishes before I leave and wipe "V's" face and hands as well. She tells me to rinse out her bib and lay it on the back of the highchair. I am due to get off in 25 min and while I love being around sweet little "V," her mother is a different story. Also, today is Friday and I get paid (!) so I am in a good mood.

4:00 PM: Mom comes into the living room where "V" is playing with her blocks and hands me my payment in cash. She explains they didn't have any smaller bills than 20's, so they overpaid me by ten dollars. She told me to remind her next Friday to just deduct that from my pay. I smile, say "Thank You, I will..." then tell "V" good-bye. It is so sad since I know this will probably be the last time I ever see her again. Why?? I can't take another day of working alongside a work-at-home parent and I am done. I will send an e-mail when I get home letting them know I won't be returning and my reason why. Mom boss is too controlling and I have no autonomy. They will simply shrug, place another ad on either CL or Care.com and I will be just a memory....

Nanny Trying to Make a Living Wage Getting Swindled

Hi, I want to pose a question to the forum: I'm sure you get a lot of questions about pay and rates.

Currently, I work as a part time nanny. When we first negotiated pay, they wanted to pay me less than my normal rate. In fact, less than the rate that I started at 4 years ago. We settled on what my last family way paying me, but they ask me to do a lot of deep cleaning chores: the whole family's laundry, cleaning the kitchen, scrubbing the gas grill, organizing the pantry/fridge, sweeping/mopping the floors, cleaning the fridge, some times vacuuming. They only ask me to get this done when the kids are having quiet time (homework time) 'if I have time' but it feels like it's kind of expected, and met with disappointment when it is not done. I feel as if I am spending less time playing with the kids and more time doing chores, but I do them and I am a hard worker. So that's obviously a problem, but it nan be worked around.

I make about $200/wk + gas reimbursement (when I am there, not the 30miles/day I drive to get there). This is NOT a liveable wage for me. I accept govt. assistance to buy food and have to put a lot of my expenses on CC. Finding another p/t job is out of the question as I am in school one day per week and they often need help randomly during a different time of the day than I am normally scheduled. You know how it goes... kids get sick, stuff happens, bla bla bla.

But I work around it because now that summer is approaching, they will obviously need more help. Summer is the time for us part time nannies to pay off bills, put away some savings etc. This was supposed to be my financial saving grace. They have been kind of wishy washy on the hours, and their vacation time. I assume they will not pay me for vacation time. They haven't really got it figured out on their end though. They have asked me to be in a nanny share for a few hours of the day half of the summer, and I agreed at a higher rate (more work for me, but it is really a deal for them). I have told them I expect to work at least 35hrs/wk at my normal rate. Now MB has approached me with the idea of working a set 40hrs/wk during the summer... but at a weekly rate that is less than my normal, already being stretched rate. I kind of expect to to be doing more housework, too. I told her that didn't seem standard (I've never worked summers that way, and neither have my other nanny friends) and I felt more comfortable working hourly. She said, "okay, but if we do it that way, it will be less hours, they will be more sporadic, she wasn't trying to gyp me and if I wanted to make money I might as well accept their offer of a weekly salary" - (hourly it calculates to be less than my normal rate).

Her argument is that nannies that work full time get paid less. Now they are offering twice my weekly rate, full time, maybe for two months (and most likely no work for me when they go on vacation). I don't know, maybe they think it is excessive and wonder why I need to get paid that much, but really I think it's only fair to pay a nanny regular rate full time during the summer if you want them to stick around 15hrs/wk for 10 months of the year. What do you guys think? Suggestions on how to negotiate this? Thanks in advance.