Saturday

Dream Nanny or Childcare Nightmare?

reader sbmission I am a nanny who comments relatively often on this site. To many of the mothers I meet, whether I'm with or without my charges, I am a dream nanny.

I'm college educated with child development and classroom teaching experience. I've worked with ages from newborns up to middle school kids. I have years of nanny experience, some in long-term positions. I'm young and energetic and in good shape. I'm great at arts and crafts. I don't believe in television much, but I love to read and I believe that kids of all ages should be encouraged to spend at least half an hour outside in the sun, every day. My two current charges can't wait to see me in the mornings and get upset when I'm not with them on the weekends. I don't live in a highly competitive nanny area like New York, but I still have mothers try to "poach" me on a regular basis. I've been offered all kinds of money and benefits to change families, but I love the family that I'm with and I always politely decline other offers.

I'm also a sex worker.

A few years ago, I was nannying part-time for very little pay. I didn't want to leave the family, but I was struggling very badly. I was having to sell off my possessions to pay rent and could barely afford to eat one meal a day. For months I tried to find a job waitressing in the evenings or something like a coffee shop in the mornings, something I could do while still keeping my nanny position. No one would hire me. Out of desperation, I found an ad on Craigslist looking for "lingerie models", and I scored an interview.

The job wound up being what in stripper parlance is called a "jack shack", a rundown house where the girls do private strip shows and the show usually ends in a handjob. I'd never done anything similar - heck, I'd only ever had one boyfriend! - but I took it. I did it for months. I would go to my nanny job, then drive to the shack and work until 3 AM afterward. It was kind of empowering, and I made about $300 a night.

Unlike most of the girls I worked with there, I didn't get into drugs to cope, and I didn't become an alcoholic, but I did go down the slippery slope. I got addicted to the easy money. I started doing more "adult" services - nude housecleaning, fetish modeling, and finally, eventually, I just straight up had sex with someone for money.

Not long after that, I got my first full-time nanny position. I quit working at the jack shack. I started getting regular salary on the books, more money than I'd ever made before no matter what I did. I take my job very seriously, and on work nights I am always on my best behavior.

But sometimes, just a few times a year, I decide I need a little extra cash, and I pick up some unconventional work.

Of course if any of the families I'd worked for found out, I'd lose my job and I'd probably never be able to work in childcare again. The idea of someone looking after your kids who has gotten naked and had sex for money is a terrifying thought to most parents. It doesn't matter that she's clean and educated. It doesn't matter that she's great with the kids, that they love her, that she's the best nanny your family has ever had. The idea of a childcare worker who is or has been a sex worker gives people the shudders.

But I am damn good at what I do - all the things I do.


110 comments:

BrooklynMomma said...

You do what you gotta do. My personal two cents is that the sex industry shouldn't be illegal in the first place.

OhioNanny said...

Surprisingly I'm not as shocked as I should be because I had a friend that did the very same thing. She worked in childcare during the day and as a callgirl at night. I saw her starving and crashing on couches before she made the decision to do this.

MONKEYSHINES said...

I never did anything like this but when I was a nanny I had a affair with the dad so I cant judge but handjob is one thing but when you get into the other sex acts, there are so many diseases out there!

OhioNanny said...

Lmfao!! Wait, so somebody actually one-upped Monkeyshines?!

unicornsparkleprincess88 said...

As someone who strongly advocates prostitution to become legalized, I of course see no problem here.

You leave your work like separate from your nanny life, and that's all that counts.

bostonnanny said...

To each their own but i personally would never do sexual favors with strangers for money. There is aways another option, you just need to look and not give up. I would worry about all the diseases and crazies that could enter your life.

Christine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chick said...
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Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

Well, if you're going to be a prostitute on occasion, I hope you are at least savvy enough to have back-up and safety procedures. The jackshack sounds disgustingly sleezy, but presumably there were a few people there who acted as some sort of security in case a client got out of hand.

Yeah. Sorry, it had to be punned.

Anyhoo, I would think it would be safer to get a sugar daddy to help support you instead of whatewver "unconventional work" you do. At least then you would be sleeping with someone you sort of knew wouldn't hack you to death in your sleep, if only because they wouldn't want the publicity.

And FWIW, I think there are dozens of careers where hooking PT would cause you to lose your job when your side career was discovered. Waitress, accountant, lawyer, dentist, secretary...

world's best nanny said...

OhioNanny,
I think the OP is MonkeyShines!

another nanny said...

In theory I don't see a problem with it. What I don't understand is why you were so bent on staying at that nanny job that wasn't paying you enough money to live on. That's a very legitimate reason to leave your job, and I probably would have either discussed with the parents (ie, I'm in danger of leaving because I can't support myself) or just looked for a job where I could pay my bills. I think you're right that sex work has a lot of stigma, which could impact future employment if discovered, and combined with disease and sketchy locales such as the "jack shack" it just sounds like more of a risk than I would take.

Nanny of One said...

Hello!
I was shocked when I read this, but at the same time have so much respect for you that you would even post such personal information that if figured out could impact your future employment as a nanny.

All the same, at times you have to make decisions such as working in a 'jack shack' and I understand why someone may find themselves in that position.

My advice to you is this:
- Look into a 'family share' nanny position. Where you look after children from two families (more money)

- Do housecleaning on the side (charge $15.00 and up an hour)

- Find a family that pays you more money, or if needed.

- Become a stripper. Strippers are also in my opinion sex workers however, there is more security and is less frowned upon then the very shady jack shack or sexual intercourse with client's. Or maybe get a job in a 'Rub and Tug' or another sex industry job that 1.)offers you security, 2.) does not require sexual intercourse with client's, 3.) is in a safe place (rather than a rundown house).

- Nanny of One.

OP said...

OP here, and I'm definitely not Monkeyshines. I've never gotten involved with a DB and probably never will.

I just wanted to say I'm very pleasantly surprised that everyone is reacting so well to this post. People can get very irrational when it comes to the idea of sex workers and children. One of the other girls at the jack shack had a 5 year old and found out that one of the substitute teachers at her daughter's school was a stripper, and she flipped out over "someone like that" teaching her baby even though she was doing similar work herself.

I love the family I work with now. They pay me very well and we get along personally, and I hope I can stay with them a very long time, but it's hard to stay away - the easy, no-strings-attached money you get from sex work is very hard to let go of and very easy to fall back on.

not surprised said...

as a mom who has had all variations of childcare providers (PT, FT, old, experienced, no-nanny experience, aupairs etc) and have viewed hundreds of responses from ads I've placed over the years I am always suspicious of people with your background seeking a PT job as a sitter and that seems to be their sole source of income. I wouldn't hire anyone to watch my kids if I wasn't reasonably certain of how they were supporting themselves. If someone was working for me FT, I'm paying them a livable wage for our area. If I'm employing someone PT they are a student living at home with parents, or in a college dorm, taking classes FT and getting support from their parents that way. Seriously, how "great" could that family have been that you worked for PT that they had no idea that you had no money, didn't give a sh*t how else you were supporting yourself etc. Families like this are the type that end up with a prostitute caring for their kids. Maybe it is less obvious to your current family because you work for them FT but I can't imagine you lack of self-respect/self esteem isn't obvious to them (or maybe they are just as oblivious at your first family).

I get that you feel you have to prostitute yourself to make ends meet- whatever- that's your choice. I find it surprising that a person with a college education would do this (but I'm not sure from your post if you actually finished college or just took a few classes). Usually this type of work is taken on by someone who truly has no other choice.

It sounds like you need to seek therapy or find another way to build your self esteem. You are risking your life prostituting yourself and, at least now, you aren't doing it out of necessity.

OP said...

"Not Surprised", you are just as clueless as you claim my employers are. Your response is a great example of class privilege as you assume that just because you only hire students as PT nannies they are getting financial support from their parents. I worked my way through all of college in order to pay for food, clothes, housing, etc even when I was a full-time student living in the dorm, because my parents could not afford to send me to college and my financial aid was not enough.

When I graduated (yes, I have a BA) it was right after the economy tanked and suddenly even trying to get a secretarial job in my field was impossible as fresh out of college I was competing with dozens of laid off workers with 10+ years of experience. The only jobs I could find in my area were retail or food service - part time and making minimum wage or less. While my nanny job didn't pay enough for me to live on, it paid much more per hour than anything else I could get. I worked two or three part-time jobs for over a year in addition to doing sex work in order to make ends meet, because that was the best I could do in this job market with my degree.

It seems easy to you to find a "better" job than sex work because you've never had to do it. You were probably born into a family that was middle class or better and now you live in that same tax bracket, whereas I was born below the poverty line and have had to do everything for myself. As a full-time nanny, I already make almost as much annually as my 60 year old mother makes having been at her job for over 15 years. I am working to improve myself and my standing, and I'll do whatever I have to if it helps me reach that goal.

"Seek therapy" indeed, another example of class privilege. I get paid very well for a nanny, but I still couldn't afford to see a therapist even if I did believe I needed one. How, exactly, am I supposed to make the money to seek therapy when I already work 50 hours a week? What line of work could I go into to make extra money that would have hours only on weekends and late at night? Hmmm....

No Thank you said...

Wow! If I ever found out my Nanny was hooking on the side, she would be fired. I would worry that one of her "Johns" would see her with MY kids out and about on the street......and I just wouldn't feel that my kids are completely safe with her. Sorry OP. IMO, if you feel like you must hook on the side, you should find a career that does not involve children. Hookers, Johns, drugs, STD's, Pimps, and jack shacks don't fit in with babies and little children. Don't everyone attack me please! This is only my opinion as a Momma who employs a part-time Nanny.

nycmom said...

I don't see a problem provided you keep your two jobs separate.

Prostitution has many risks, as I'm sure you are aware. My only concern would be how you are finding clients and that you are keeping yourself safe.

I agree with someone above that you should work as a stripper if you want to maximize profit while minimizing risk.

christine said...

I can see how the lure of money could possibly make a woman do things like this. I worry too about OP's safety and wonder if she has heard of the Craigslist killer and the many bodies of women who were found on Long Island that were working in the "sex" industry. Just sayin....

Further, I don't see the nanny connection being any different than any other occupation where your boss may find out you have a second, slightly seedy part time job. And, I have personally never even heard of a jack shack! Sounds disgusting! I would be a stripper instead OP.

concerned said...

To everyone who says "Oh, I have no problem with prostitution, in fact, I think it should be legal, blah blah blah...": Really?? I have a hard time believing that. If you had a little girl and she told you that when she grew up, she wanted to be a sex worker, would you smile and say, "That's wonderful, honey!" Doubtful. The reason why sex work pays so much is because it is dirty, degrading, unsafe, and not a line of work many people are willing to go into. How can you find selling your body to men empowering? You are literally putting a price on yourself and your dignity. You are letting people use you in exchange for cold, hard cash. Why do you think other girls used drugs to cope? The sex industry wore them down. Their world became a sad, dark place. I don't want that to happen to you, OP. No amount of money is worth your soul. Please find another way to support yourself when you're low on cash. There are other ways!

MONKEYSHINES said...

I am wondering why I am judged so harshly on this forum but seems like this woman gets a pass? Married men do go to hookers

I would not want a hooker watching my baby, the night before she is giving oral sex to strangers and next day she is taking care of a baby, you know how cute babies are always wanting to kiss them, and this sex worker kisses my child after having many penis in her mouth! I dont think so, move to nevada where being a pro is legal

Nanny Laura said...

@Not Surprised: If you hired a part-time nanny, you are not entitled to know how she gets her other income. It is none of your business. She may be getting SSI, Welfare, Child Support,Unemployment, Pell Grants, etc...or work another job on the side. I have been asked this very question by potential employers at times and it offends me that they are so nosy. They have no business asking how I get my "other" income. What a dumb reason not to hire a nanny.

OP, I admired your candid honesty, esp. considering how people are condemned on this blog when their views are so unique from others. It is refreshing that you described your situation in full and offered no apologies or excuses. Times are tough and it is a fact of life that us humans need shelter, nourishment and clothing in order to survive. What you did was what you felt you had to do at the time to just meet your basic needs. I felt sorry for you as I read your post and am glad that now you make enough as a nanny to not have to work as a sex worker full-time. If I ever made $300/night, it would be very tempting for me to walk away cold turkey from that type of work. That is serious money and I don't know if I could resist the temptation to go back and make that....esp. if I was on the brink of bankruptcy.

I wish you luck in your future endeavors and for those that judged OP, remember Guys...when you point a finger at someone, there are three always pointing back at you. If you don't believe me, try it. Point your index finger ahead and you will see your pinky, ring and middle finger pointing right back at you!!!!

Who cares said...

OP nothing wrong with doing what you are doing. I can make you look like an angel. I once gave dad a bj while wife was in shower. And then he bent me over. Quick and dirty. Kids were at neighbors and I was folding clothes. I got a bonus that week. So I guess that makes me a prostitute. FYI mom and dad were seperated but still living together at that time.

And monkey lady, I kissed the kids on the cheeks the next day. Given that my mouth was where dad's stuff was- and who knows where his stuff has been - should make you say touché.

I are said...

Many penis??

What?? said...

Monkey shines- your mouth is as dirty as osama bin laden's porn collection. Don't you have contact with kids? Hypocrite ho.

It's how you share said...

MS - I don't mind that your vagina is a community bicycle. However, it's the way you share the info i.e. I would say It's rainy today. You would say it's rainy today- reminds me of the day I had 3 dildos inside of me at the same time. Just be more normal about how you share it. It doesn't always need to go with every topic. Or in every sentence.

MONKEYSHINES said...

I dont give or recieve oral or do anal sex it is for the real dirty girls!

Mistress Grace said...

Another sex worker/nanny here! Except my employer knows what I do on my nights off. Hell, last time I had a session (I am a professional Dominatrix), she watched my kid for me knowing full well where I was.

Believe it or not, some people freely choose sex work. They like it - some (like me) even find it empowering!

TL;DR - Solidarity!

oh my said...

MONKEYSHINES makes an excellent point! OP,I hope you are not kissing the kids you Nanny for after being with Men you know nothing about! Ewwwww!

anonymous nanny/dirty girl said...

I must say this is one of my fav posts so far! Thank you for having the guts to write it OP.

Many penis? I wonder if the plural form of that would be "peni"? lol

And I've boffed my boss too but I gave him oral so that must make me one of those dirty girls, yee-haw!

And to monkeyshines, if you ain't doing oral or anal, what the hell are you getting paid for? Your twat can't be that golden! lmao

And to It's how you share - loved your post!

not surprised said...

@nanny laura and OP: I happend to have worked for 12 years with prostitutes, drug dealers and people in and out of jail, on welfare/food stamps, teen moms whose mothers were raising their kids etc. If I am hiring someone to work in my home to watch my kids, I am going to be VERY nosy and particular about who I hire. I know what types of questions to ask because my job was one that required a certain type of investigation. NO WAY on earth would I hire one of my former clients when I worked to watch my kids. It has nothing to do with class privilege and every thing to do with common sense.

And OP, I guess I misread your post and assumed you had a great nanny job with benefits. I had assumed since you were being poached by so many families, you would have landed one of these high end nanny jobs by now. That is why I suggested therapy for you.

Actually though there are a lot of holes in your story that don't add up....nobody would hire you as a waitress at a diner but moms are trying to poach you as a nanny.....hmmmm. You have NO other option but to prostitute yourself.....yeah, right

It's how you share said...

Thanks dirty girl- obviously you are a nurse if you know the plural of singular Latin suffixes. Lol.

Maybe Monkey shines twat is gourmet ;)

Can't touch this said...

What kind of lame stripclub do you go to? Those girls are all ok with touching and probing. I know because I had a strip class that I won at a club and those girls spilled the beans. Now when I give my husband a dance I say - what kind of club do you think this is? Get your hands out of my vagina! :D Lady go have some immoral wine.

Wow said...

Wow

Nanny Nanny Bo Banny said...

Well these comments have been fun to read. OP-you gotta do what you gotta do. Me, I just pick up multiple nanny jobs to make ends meet.

Blue said...

Another nanny/escort here, for me sex work is actually quite empowering, thanks for sharing OP, you've made me feel less alone.

Chinanny said...

OH EM GEE, I thought all part-time nannies had side jobs doing hair or facials, I'm so nieve.

Phoenix said...

girl you gotta do what puts money in your pocket. I work with tons of girls in the sex industry. Though I am more their "coordinator" and offer protection to some of the girls. I don't look down on you at all. If the people at my job knew what I am involved in, in my outside career I would be fired. Currently I am trying to find investors to open up a cabaret. I like the sex industry. I just would never be one of those girls. I have those girls work for me.

Dr. Juris said...

Phoenix, you are truly all over the map. I don't know whether I can even believe you or not (because I'm far too lazy to go back and look at your former posts to call you on it).

Phoenix said...

huh? this is the first time I've ever said anyting about my night life. I don't understand what you mean.

canadian-nanny said...

Chinnanny - oh, they're doing facials alright! ;)
haha

world's best nanny said...

Where are these strange nannies who are posting about their "sex jobs" coming from?

Wow said...

Phoenix...you just described yourself as a Pimp. Just saying.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

@christine
just because i think that prostitution should be legalised doesn't mean that i would want my daughter doing it per se. you are definitely twisting words around.
prostitution should be legal because it prevalent. it is everywhere, whether or not you would like to open your eyes to it.
the reason i believe it should be legal is because as it stands, women are in a much weaker position, from pimps to just taking their money or beating them for other reasons. And onto the even more dangerous reasons, like getting raped. Legalising prostitution would prevent these kinds of things happenings, would protect the women and prostitutes would have more power.
do your research.

MissMannah said...

This is by far one of the most interesting posts and threads I've read on here. Thanks, everyone, for the entertainment!

OP, my opinion is that if you're a great nanny, your employers are lucky to have you. End of story. It is absolutely none of their business what you do after hours. However, I can't condone what you do because it is illegal. Yes, prostitution should be legal because it is the adult's choice, but in most states it isn't, and you have to be prepared to suffer the consequences if you get caught...and you very well might.

OK, done lecturing. The part I couldn't get over was when someone (was it MS? can't remember) said don't give a stranger a blowjob and then kiss the kids. That has to be the grossest thing someone can say. It also makes me wonder--is it ok for a wife to give her husband a bj and then kiss the kids? EW! The proper etiquette is to brush your teeth afterwards, everyone knows that!

MissMannah said...

Well said, Unicorn! I completely agree. Of course I wouldn't be happy if my daughter came to me with plans to be a hooker, but then I also wouldn't be too pleased if she came to me with plans to marry a Bible-thumpin' fundamentalist.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

@MissMannah
haha yes, the latter would totally be the worst ;)

Proud Democrat said...

Not surprised:
I agree that I wouldn't want to hire a drug dealer or prostitute to watch my child(ren), but I would hire someone who was on welfare or who had a child as a teen-ager. There are so many taxpayers that are fed up w/having to pay for social services out of their hard-earned paychecks, yet if no one gave these girls a chance, they would never be able to become self-supporting. Since when does being on Food Stamps make you unfit to work as a Nanny?

robinsparkles said...

Seriously - thanks for this.

it's topical, too! The dual career of sex worker / freelance writer is super hot right now, pun intended. (See: the writings of Diablo Cody and Belle De Jour, along with those of numerous other feminist prostitutes, strippers, and activists.) It's only understandable that the field would widen to include nannies...

I, too, am a college-educated nanny who has gotten naked for money. Granted, mine is much tamer - I was a nude art model for a class of twenty people in college, since it was the best-paying job (really) available at university at the time. But still - I'm glad someone coherently wrote this article.

Truth Seeker said...

Good Luck OP in your future.

christine said...

Unicorn...

I appologize if you thought I was judging. I've been around the proverbial block a few times and I'm not some conservative old lady. I just worry for the safety of a woman who chooses this profession since I watch the news a few times a week and see the consequences of Craigslist hook-ups.

Has anyone watched The Cathouse on HBO? It is a show that follows the life of real prostitutes in, I think, Reno, Nevada. It is a leagalized brothel and the show is quite graphic. These girls make alot of money and they do it legally but at the end of the day (or the show) it is pretty sad. Yes, they control the whole thing, they are safe and the sex is somewhat "sanitized". But, they are someones daughters, granddaughters, sisters. As the mother of three daughters, it isn't something I would be proud of. Having said that, I am not condeming their choice to make their living this way. I am simply saying that it is unsafe to meet up with unknown men for sex. I'd rather be broke than dead.

If given a choice of having sex with a stranger or living off the dime of the government, I would choose food stamps or welfare- hands down. You don't risk your life or health by accepting help from the government.

Again, I don't think this issue is especially nanny related... it would pertain to any job.

UmassSlytherin said...

I personally am in complete support of OP. I think she sounds kick-ass.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Umass,

My God woman... have I missed the hell out of you! Please e-mail me when you get the chance, please!

UmassSlytherin said...

will do, pretty lady ;) xoxoxo

StopTheSexIndustry said...

God almighty!! Have any of you seen the movie "Human Trafficking"? OR watched a documentary on the Sex Industry? Thousands of girls and women are trafficked into/around the USA for sex every day. Some as young as 9 years old. PLEASE don't make hooking legal!! We will NEVER be able to keep track of who's in it for what purpose (we're having a hell of a time doing it now!)! It should never be made mainstream or okay.
I am working with a team that is trying to stop Human Trafficking, and there is still no end in sight. I have met some of these girls, and they can't understand why anyone would willingly have sex with strange Men for something like money. Please PLEASE don't fight to make it legal!

UmassSlytherin said...

Legalizing the sex industry would in no way contribute or effect human trafficking: they are two different entities.

The sex industry is as old as time. Just like marijuana, legalizing it is inevitable and it will happen eventually.

Chinanny said...

Canadian-nanny, I see that now LOL!

unicornsparkleprincess said...

@StopTheSexIndustry
I don't think anyone is trying to legalize CHILD prostitution. that's like saying legalizing marijuana would make all drugs legal.

Dr. Juris said...

I think legalizing the sex trade may actually help guard against human trafficking. If you are able to track it, ensure these ladies are being tested on a regular basis, and know who is involved with it, it will be easier to crack down on those exploiting children and those who do not wish to be involved in the sex industry.

For the time being, it's illegal, and I am not okay with anything illegal, although I do support its legalization in the future. I really don't see the difference between porn (being paid to have sex) and prostitution (being paid to have sex).

unicornsparkleprincess said...

@Dr.Juris
I couldn't have said it better!

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

UMass, HI!! Where have you been?? Hope you'll stick around for a while. :-)

What the hell? said...

This makes me sick to my stomach. I really can't believe how immoral America has become. Seriously? I work 4 jobs and having sex for money is NOT one of them. First job: nanny. Second job: dishwasher at the airport. Third job: yard work. Fourth job: gutting fish. Yes, I am very busy, and I had to get creative to find these jobs. I really can't see the draw to the sex industry. I mean come on! Sure you make excellent money......but you will also ( most likely) get an STD no matter how "careful" you are, get into some kind of drugs, get raped, put your family/kids in danger, get beat up/killed, and die young......is it worth it?? Not to me! To each their own I guess, but I just don't get it, and I never will. OH! @stopthesexindustry, I did see that movie human trafficking about a year ago, and it still disturbs me to this day!

janevain said...

I wouldn't hire you. If I HAD hired you and I found this out, I'd fire you. And I think prostitution should be legal.

But it isn't. IT ISN'T. And because it isn't, I wouldn't knowingly hire a prostitute any sooner than I'd hire a cocaine dealer. Not because I agree that cocaine should be illegal, or that dealing in and of itself makes you a bad person-- but because it's illegal.

Doing something repeatedly and consciously that can land you in jail IS jeopardizing your job. Even if you think you can keep the two separate, and not start using drugs yourself, you cannot be sure that the same is true of every person you come in contact with through your illegal job. It's irresponsible.

Maybe some employers don't have a problem with that. If not, good for them; it is their choice to hire drug dealers, prostitutes, hit men, or whomever else they'd like. I'd prefer someone else watch my children and have access to my home.

think about it said...

The people who are saying that what you do on your own time is none of your employer's business are being incredibly naive. Yes, to some extent it is true. If you like to dress up in a bunny costume and hop around or have kinky leather-clad sex with your husband when you are home alone, there is really no need for your employer to know about it. But being a prostitute or sex worker or drug dealer on the side in addition to your job as a nanny is quite a different ball game, don't ya think? Most people do not respect those professions because they are illegal and, to many people, immoral. They also entail working with a lot of sketchy people, doing sketchy things in sketchy places. Sometimes they are downright dangerous, even life-threatening. To many people, the decision to work in prostitution or drug dealing is indicative of poor decision-making skills, disregard towards the law, and low moral standards. That's just the way it is. Most people, myself included, do not approve of these jobs or consider them legitimate forms of employment. Also, whether you work as a nanny or in an office as your "day job", if you were to be caught by the police for doing your side job, it would be incredibly embarassing for the people who hired you at your day job because it would reflect badly on them.
So basically, because you are a nanny, don't be surprised if you get fired once your employers find out about your other job. I hope they do find out because I find it highly unethical that you are hiding this information from them and not giving them the opportunity to decide for themselves whether or not they want a prostitute to care for their children. If you're so proud of it, you should tell your nanny family. But you seem to take pride in the fact that you're deceiving them.

MONKEYSHINES said...

what is next?
2 nannies and 1 cup?

nycmom said...

Monkeyshines,

That was actually funny!

Phoenix said...

MONKEYSHINES
OMG that was the worst thing I've ever seen in my life. i've forgotten about that until now. Holy crap! Literally.

Phoenix said...

think about it...

What we do in our spare time is our business and if we have to put food on the table by doing something a bunch of prudes find immoral than that just sux for you. So you would rather sit and watch your kid starve to death, not have enough cloths, or running water than to help your family ease their suffering? If you choose to do that then you are worse than any thug I've ever met on the street. Most G's that I know want to support their family. And if you think that they are doing some poor decision making than you don't know what you are talking about.

You can't pass judgement on something that you have no clue about. YOu can't sit on your moral high horse and think that these people are doing the wrong thing when they are trying to make it in this world. I live on both sides of the law and I have two different me's. i know how to survive on the streets and in the working world. And that my friend makes me much better than you.

MONKEYSHINES said...

how about that arnold cheating on maria shiver with the hired help and having a 10 yr old love child!

men have relations with nannies, housekeepers all the time

BipolarNanny said...

"You can't pass judgement on something that you have no clue about."

True story, Phoenix! It isn't up to anyone to push their code of ethics on anyone else. But prostitution is illegal and I do judge people who break the law and if I was the OP's boss, I'd fire her. I'd even consider calling the cops.

A few years back, I was into drugs. We all have skeletons in our closets! Even after I got clean and turned my life around, I was still dealing, just I was selling my prescriptions because I can get like $20 for one pill and god knows I've got plenty to spare. It wasn't until one of my very good friends got arrested for dealing that I got scared and stopped and I haven't done it in years now, but I still get tempted when money is running low. But I can't put my career in jeopardy to make a few extra bucks, even if it is a few extra hundred bucks.

anonymous3 said...

Think About It I completely agree with you. This nanny is jeopardizing the health of herself and the children she cares for. Let's face it, prostitutes have contact with a wide variety of very sketchy individuals and generally do not use any form of protection. What this nanny is doing is not only illegal, it's just plain wrong on every level in my opinion. And yes, I am judging.

I am totally against legalizing prostitution. There is no valid reason to make it acceptable for women to be taken advantage of, abused and objectified. Instead, more effort should be geared toward helping these women to learn the skills they need to succeed at a job that doesn't involve illegal activity and a complete lack of self worth.

No amount of money would be enough for me to exploit my body and abandon my values. Using the excuse that it pays well and there are no other jobs is BS. I've been in very tough financial positions and never did I contemplate prostitution as the solution. I seriously thought this was some sort of belated April fools post, but unfortunately, I'm wrong.

OhioNanny said...

MONKEYSHINES said...

what is next?
2 nannies and 1 cup?



nycmom said...

Monkeyshines,

That was actually funny!


Ok, did I miss some sort of inside joke? I don't get it.

figuresomethingelseout said...

I think this is crazy! If your boss finds out and reports you to the cops, you will be made a sex offender! You will never EVER be allowed to work with children again! Why risk a hard earned college education?

If you are as great at your job as you say you are ask for a raise. Or find a job that pays you enough to where you never have to resort to such acts anymore.

I understand you love the family you are with. I adore mine and could never imagine leaving them. But to put them at risk, and yourself at risk is just not worth it.

Calm down, ppl!! said...

I just find interesting some people here defending OP based on the fact that she was trying to support herself. Well, there's other ways to support herself, I truly believe there is, before going to the stripper gig.
Now, some here were saying "would you rather let your children starve to death, not have clothes enough, bla, bla, bla", but who said she was starving to death? Or that she had any children to support? And come on, not having clothes enough it's NOT a reason for whoring yourself.

She said she did not want to leave the family who wasn't paying her enough to keep up with her bills. Well, I would rather a thousand times just leave this family than whore myself and keep a job that makes me go as low as this.

Of course it is her option, her life, she does whatever she wants, and it's none of anyone's business, but I find it a hardcore way of making a living, and a hardcore option.
I think it's funny some ppl here applauding her to the extend that she is actually some sort of hero.

WTF?!? said...

@ Phoenix

Based on what I've read here so far, you walk with a hardcore crowd, don't you?

"If you choose to do that then you are worse than any thug I've ever met on the street. Most G's that I know want to support their family"

G's, thugs, hos... damn, what are you? No wonder you applaud all of this.

Calm down ppl!!! said...

You know what, although I'd never work as a ho, I've actually babysat for one. It's funny 'cause I recall her telling me the type of business she was into. She was a escort, a very good looking one, probably charged a lot. Once, I worked for her until late, and feel asleep in her sofa. She comes back home with one of her clients, and told me I could sleep in her house and leave the next day. I could hear the whole thing going on back on her room. Nasty! I felt bad for her, as she had to deal with really nasty men (the guy who went back to her house was at least 15 years older than she).

WTF?!? said...

@ Phoenix

Btw, prudes for disagreeing with the OP's choice? In what world are you at? Thugs and G's? LOL

Craigslist Hooker said...

Before I became a nanny, I was a prostitute on Craigslist because I needed money to live. I did it for about 6 months before I managed to get my first nanny job. After I got the job, I quit the sex business. I hated every minute of it. I only did what I had to in order to pay for my apartment, utilities and some ramen. When I did go out to meet a "client", I ALWAYS used protection. It scared me to do this but I had to do what I could to be able to live. While I was hooking, I was also trying to find a real job but nothing ever worked out until I finally was hired to be a nanny. I love being a nanny. Now I am putting myself through school so I will never have to go through that again. No one knows that I did anyone of that and no one ever will. I still get tested regularly because I am scared that even though I used protection, something may show up years later. This experience has ruin sex for me and is a dark time of my life.

Dr. Juris said...

I would never engage in prostitution myself, BUT your words, Anon3, contradict each other. Not every woman who works as a prostitute finds it degrading, and if prostitution were made legal, it wouldn't be *illegal* (since you said you didn't support legalization, since it was illegal...). Furthermore, women who knowingly prostitute themselves are largely NOT being taken advantage of, especially if they are in the situation OP was in. Your morals may prevent you from considering prostitution, but not everyone views it the same as you.

Findsomeotherway....while prostitution may be considered a sex offense, it's not the same thing as a sexual offense against a child. I know in certain jurisdictions it's not a registerable offense, but I'm not certain about OP's.

Regardless, I do maintain that this is illegal and illegal=illegal. Until it's legalized (which, again, I support), prostitutes are likely to come into contact with shady people and have less regulation regarding STD prevention, etc. That's why I hope it will be legalized one day--to cut down on the potential risks posed by such an occupation. (Sorry if this was incoherent....It's time for bed!)

Vanessa said...

This is the thing:

I'm not one to judge people. Desperate times sometime call for desperate measures. I wouldn't be concerned with what you do in the after-hours as long as it's not affecting your time with "my kids". There's also an issue of health. I wouldn't want someone who is exposed to so many STDs to be near my children. If anything, I think that's the only thing that would make me go Eh... well. But if I nanny I loved dearly came to me and opened up about her "past", the only thing I'd demand is proof that you have no diseases and you're drug-free.

nycmom said...

Ohio Nanny,

You can google 2 Girls 1 Cup video if you *really* want to see it. But I advise against it as you will have those images imbedded in your brain!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Girls_1_Cup

Vanessa said...

Also,

Geez! Lots of nannies sleeping with their bosses here! WTH! I'm a nanny and I'd never consider sleeping with my DB. C'mon. Boundaries people! Also, when I have a family my nanny will be 50+! and ugly!

Vanessa said...

Finally:

I'm a graduate student and I make more as a nanny 3 days a week (the other two days I work for the school) more than what any recent graduate working a FT for some firm, makes. Sad but true.

UmassSlytherin said...

I think we all need to look at the big picture here. You live with the choices you make, and at the end of the day, you are the one who is in control of what you do.

Good for OP for sticking to her guns and taking that risk for something that she is comfortable with and feeling good about herself.

We all seem to live in our own little self-righteous bubbles and think our way is the only way. Well, it's not.

There are as many different ways to live as there are people in this world. So get used to it.

OP is not hurting anyone. On the contrary, she sounds like way more of a productive citizen than many people here.

Phoenix said...

Yes I run with a very tough crowd. I am night and day, two completely different people. Daytime - I am a financial specialist and I have a Masters in Accounting. i work for a fortune 500 company and I am one of the best employees they could have. At night - I deal, drive girls, I keep a Mac-10 in my lap, and an AK-47 behind my bedroom door. I don't know anyone's real name and they don't know mine. My husband and I are like Bonnie and Clyde. Honestly it is my husband's life that I was brought into. He was in a gang since a young kid so there you go.

Actually I am quite tired. This is a very stressful lifestyle and I wish I didn't have to do it but I gotta do what I gotta do.

Hahaha. go to new jersey where you belong. said...

Repulsive whores. Nannying isn't a real "job" or "career" just like your stripper jobs. Hahaha You people really are pathetic.

Phoenix said...

I've known some pretty ugly strippers. That really doesn't matter. When a guy is drunk enough any girl looks great. The club I sell to has some crack-head looking strippers and they all make bank. Appearance in this game doesn't matter all that much. Appearance helps with the level of class you are but in the end it's all just pussy.

Nanny E said...

@ Phoenix....uhhhhhh what. If you have such a great daytime job, why would you "need" to deal and be a pimp?

Phoenix said...

yes. good. i was getting a little on edge about saying that stuff over the internet regardless. So yeah - you caught me. I'm lying. believe that, it makes me feel better :)

I'm a big fat liar head

Vanessa said...

@Hahaha:

Job: n. A regular activity performed in exchange for payment, especially as one's trade, occupation, or profession.
A position in which one is employed.

So nannying is a job. I'm not saying it, the dictionary says it. I believe it more than I do you.

My point is, you're stupid. That's all.

Damn... so much bs... said...

@ Phoenix: You are so disgusting! I have been reading your comments here lately, and I see how much you lie! You are full of shit!

You work on a firm on day time and at night you are a pimp? Yeah riiiiight! What about your nanny job? Oopsy, someone forgot this is a nannies blog, not a hos' blog nor a "financial analyst" blog!

You wish you were all of these things, in your dreams...

Too much crack and coke in your brain.

Whoring and nannying don't mix said...

Do You know what I realized after reading theses comments? I realize how many disgusting women are out there taking care of children and acting like "oh so special" and full of "oh, I have taken child development classes at college" as if it makes you more responsible, competent and trustworthy. All BS!

I am cool, I don't care if you whore yourself, but these are two totally different type of "fields" one can work at, that does not mix at all. It's kind of repulsive the idea that my nanny/babysitter whores herself night time, and act all goofy and sweet day time around my children. Disgusting. If you want to sell your vagina/other holes, go ahead. But work with children in parallel it's strange.

What about work as a whore and a waitress? Whore and sales associate? whore and secretary? Anything, but with children. The consequences of you being caught working as a prostitute and a family finding out about it it's way worse/embarrassing than if your manager at a store/restaurant found out about it.

Think about it.

OP is a fiction writer said...

I am not going to read every single post, but I read about half. I did notice a discrepancy when OP originally said she was starving to death and working a PT job and NO ONE ELSE WOULD HIRE HER and she was making about $300 a night. Later OP comes in and says she was working 2-3 PT jobs plus the jack shack. Which is it OP? Why would you need to work 2-3 jobs if you were making $300 selling yourself? Why would you need to sell yourself if you were working 2-3 jobs? Your story doesn't carry water and I think you are lying. This is all for shock value.

Nanny E said...

Phoenix-

I have no idea what to think about you? Why would you lie about that? Makes no sense at all to me..and then you just admitted it out of the blue? What was the point of that...did you just want to be part of the conversation? And yes, I agree with everyone who says everything you say is a lie..just give it a rest already!

Chinanny said...

This is better than bashing the "Bad Nanny sightings"

Phoenix said...

It is easier for me to know that you think it is a lie. So I will go with that. I made a crucial error in judgement when I revealed some things about me. As paranoid as I am and which is why I have not been arrested is because of silence. So I made a bad judgement call in saying those things.

So like I said. It is better for me that you think it's a lie.

BTW - I never said I was a pimp. Since you are not in the industry I wouldn't expect you to know the difference between someone who helps the girls and someone who pimps the girls. I do not control the girls and I do not take all their money. I offer assistance when they need it. You guys blew some thing very simple way out of porportion. Read very and comprehend what you are reading. But like i said since you don't know the life I don't expect you to know the difference in what I'm saying.

But it's all a lie anyway right. The shit I've been through doesn't feel like a lie to me. I've had a gun shoved in my face three times, I've been shot at twice during a drive by, I've been around murderers, and thieves, and been to some scary ass places where I didn't think I was going to make it out of.

I have been doing my night job for only two years now. Why? The recession took away my good job and then I had to be demoted to another department and now I don't make enough money to keep my kid fed. So there you go. It is very hard for some people to comprehend a world they only see on TV. And believe me TV is what is a lie. I don't glamorize this life by any means and if I can keep my kid away from drugs and gangs I will do everything in my power to do so.

But sure, it is better that you believe what I say is a lie. Safer for me in the long run. That is the last I am going to say on the matter.

unicornsparkleprincess said...

since when did sex become so dirty to everybody?

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

And to recap:

Do what you want OP, just be careful.

You are the epitome of evil OP, and will catch something/be fired.

Sex work is fine and should be legal.

Sex work is of the devil and must be ended.

Monkeyshines actually has sexual standards.

Phoenix has an apparent double life.

The sexual escapades of nannies is a popular topic.

Did I miss anything?

o_O

NannyK said...

I have no idea where you guys live but all this sex industry to make ends meet thing makes no sense to me.

If you can't pay your bills you know what makes more sense than finding someone to have sex with on craigslist? Finding a ROOMMATE on craigslist. Split your bills and rent. Even here, in Baltimore which is one of the most expensive places to live (not in the ghetto) at $700 without utilities for the average STUDIO apartment, with roommates working at mc Donalds you can easily make ends meet. I know because I've done it, and so has almost everyone I know.

Geeenaaa said...

ENOUGH!!! I don't know what possessed everyone and their grandmothers to air their dirty laundry..but you know what? If you are off the clock what ever you do is whatever you do but what makes all of you think I want to read all about it? Can we move on?? NEXT!!!

MONKEYSHINES said...

I came back to add, not everyone has a pretty vagina!

MONKEYSHINES said...

also isnt prostitution legal in sweden?

cup said...

oh get the holy cups out of your conservative asses. we are all whores in the bed and pearl wearing republicans in public. just accept it and go blow your boss.

nycnanny said...

NannyK--did u seriously just say that Baltimore is one of the most expensive cities to live? And 700 a month is expensive for a studio? LOL

NannyK said...

Yeah, I seriously did. I said ONE OF not the most - and you'll see I clarified saying if you want to live NOT in the ghetto. Besides NYC and LA, 700 for a studio is not normal. In most states it's 500 or much less.

If you want to live in NYC or LA and think you can support that kind of lifestyle being a nanny, you're probably an idiot.

Sarah said...

Things like this are posted so that people will give their opinions, right? So here goes... I'm a couple days late in responding to this, but I was just surprised no one brought this up. Maybe my nannying experience is unique, but I have been given the opportunity not only care for the children's physical needs, but I also help in their development of morals and virtues. I thought that was pretty standard of someone who is helping to raise a child. I have always lived in the south, so maybe things are just different down here, but most parents don't want someone who thinks selling their body is acceptable to teach their children morals. But, like I said, maybe things are just different down here. :-/

OP, I hope you find a more dignified way to make your extra cash. If you do not allow hooking to be a considerable option for you, you will find many other options. I promise.

Vanessa said...

Uh, I'm from Baltimore and depending on the area it can be very expensive or dirt cheap. If you want to live the life, a tiny little 2br can cost up to $3000/month. In some buildings studios are about $2000. But that's only downtown. $700 for a studio is not that expensive, but that's not really a norm around Baltimore.

Stacey said...

I bet you are great at what you do. If you were "nannying" or parenting yourself, would you find this behavior desirable? Coach yourself a bit more and see if it isn't possible to get all parts of your life to align. I'm not talking about aligning with someone's idea of the perfect nanny, rather a quality of life, and congruity of life, that is a precious commodity. You're neither a nanny nor a sex worker. Your identity is not about how good you are at either. It should be about how you define the best good, the highest way of being. It sure isn't about just money, although life takes a bit of cash to pay bills. My thoughts? STOP THAT. You are better than that.

Dane said...

`tis true that what the OP decides to do on her off time is her business.

It's also true that I have a choice in the kind of people I would want associated with my child, whether someone else thinks it is judgmental or not.

While selling your body for money, etc is someone's own business, the associations usually made while in this kind of business can have reaching effects outside of just the person doing it.

Someone brought up 'what if one of her Johns saw her out with the child?' I think this is a good point. In that kind of lifestyle there are a lot of other unsavory happenings, including dealings with drugs and the people associated with THAT, many of them willing to harm and kill for what brings their money to them.

To think that having someone involved in this sub culture as your nanny is harmless, as 'her business' is dangerously naive.

I don't try to tell people how to live their lives, but I damn well have the absolute right to decide for myself whether or not I would want the possible influence of that association on me and my own family.

While the OP may be able to keep her roles separate in her head, mind and maybe actions, that doesn't mean that the lifestyle she engages in may not unintentionally bleed over and affect the ones she never had any intention of being affected.

It is my responsibility as a parent to make sure my children's care is in the hands of those I believe will instill the values that I want taught to them. I someone, in my view, can compromise themselves in the interest of 'a little extra money', I must consider what else may be compromised that I feel is important for my own child and family.

So, while I support someone's right to make their own choices with how they live their life, I also expect my right to be respected in whether or not I choose to be associated with it in any way.

Ohio Nanny

pgh nanny said...

LOL...the family I nanny for would die. They looked horrified when I came in one day and my hair wasn't straightened...they are all about the grooming. They told me a while ago that they saw a nanny waitressing on the weekends and thought that was trashy. I can see where a family would feel that you represent them, their image etc and that is why I am really careful on how I present myself.

But you gotta do what you gotta do!

Vashti said...

I love how some people are demonising the "Johns." You watch too many cop shows. Many Johns are the guy next door.