This afternoon, (4/23) at Cadman Plaza park in Brooklyn Heights at around 4PM. A little boy between two and a half and three, light brown hair and hazel eyes, rosy cheeks, wearing army green and navy striped t shirt, light blue and white kind of train engineer striped pants and navy blue shoes. I think he said his name was Devon -- I can't be sure. He was wandering on his own in the woods toward Cadman Plaza West and on the pavement by the war memorial at the north part of the park for quite a while with no supervision. A woman walking her dogs asked me if he was with me as I got my own kid strapped in the stroller to leave the park. It took a good five minutes for his nanny, a thick, dark skinned black woman, possibly with braids, in a black t-shirt over a white t-shirt with black pants or jeans, to appear. And he might have been wandering alone for a good five minutes or so before that. She finally came up from somewhere on a bench in the middle of the astroturf area all the way up to where he had wandered by the war memorial and took him away without making eye contact with me.
Wednesday
Cadman Plaza park in Brooklyn Heights
Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008
This afternoon, (4/23) at Cadman Plaza park in Brooklyn Heights at around 4PM. A little boy between two and a half and three, light brown hair and hazel eyes, rosy cheeks, wearing army green and navy striped t shirt, light blue and white kind of train engineer striped pants and navy blue shoes. I think he said his name was Devon -- I can't be sure. He was wandering on his own in the woods toward Cadman Plaza West and on the pavement by the war memorial at the north part of the park for quite a while with no supervision. A woman walking her dogs asked me if he was with me as I got my own kid strapped in the stroller to leave the park. It took a good five minutes for his nanny, a thick, dark skinned black woman, possibly with braids, in a black t-shirt over a white t-shirt with black pants or jeans, to appear. And he might have been wandering alone for a good five minutes or so before that. She finally came up from somewhere on a bench in the middle of the astroturf area all the way up to where he had wandered by the war memorial and took him away without making eye contact with me.
This afternoon, (4/23) at Cadman Plaza park in Brooklyn Heights at around 4PM. A little boy between two and a half and three, light brown hair and hazel eyes, rosy cheeks, wearing army green and navy striped t shirt, light blue and white kind of train engineer striped pants and navy blue shoes. I think he said his name was Devon -- I can't be sure. He was wandering on his own in the woods toward Cadman Plaza West and on the pavement by the war memorial at the north part of the park for quite a while with no supervision. A woman walking her dogs asked me if he was with me as I got my own kid strapped in the stroller to leave the park. It took a good five minutes for his nanny, a thick, dark skinned black woman, possibly with braids, in a black t-shirt over a white t-shirt with black pants or jeans, to appear. And he might have been wandering alone for a good five minutes or so before that. She finally came up from somewhere on a bench in the middle of the astroturf area all the way up to where he had wandered by the war memorial and took him away without making eye contact with me.
Pacific Park Playground in Brooklyn
Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008
I was at the playground by PS 38 yesterday, (4/22) with my son. What a great day to be outside and enjoying New York City! Whooo Hahhh, Spring is finally here. Everyone seemed to be so happy to be outside with their kids and their charges. There was a lot of great care going on. There is one small thing that happened that I thought was strange. A nanny was carrying a black tote bag, medium sized and was showing another nanny what she had. That which she had was wrapped up in The Post (newspaper). We are busy playing and I don't pay much attention to her. I see the one nanny take one of the things, re wrap it, wrap it in a diaper and put it in her diaper bag. Later the first nanny with the black tote bag leaves the park. About ten minutes later, another nanny shows up and starts chatting up the nanny who took the object and placed it in the diaper bag. This nanny told the newly arriving nanny that she had just missed "aila", "haila" "Hail-yah", "Ai-lah" (?) and that she had some new stuff. The newly arriving nanny asked, "is this for you to keep"? and the other nanny said, "no, no, this I can sell for lots. Its 'lah/doe'". These were little statues. I saw two of them, but not up close. One was a man and woman, their bodies were very white and they looked like they were laying down but they were standing up in a blanket. (?). The second looked like a small group of ballerinas. These colors are almost pastel. The second nanny had wrapped the one with the man and a woman in a diaper. The nanny who brought the other one took it back home. I am not sure but I think I witnessed a nanny selling something of her employers. I could be wrong about this. I fully admit that. Whatever was going on is something that has been going on as I got to the vibe that this nanny was one to look for at the playground. The nanny who brought the stuff in a black canvas tote bag was Hispanic and Black or Puerto Rican. She had little or no accent, spoke perfect English, had brownish hair that was in little curls and frizzy. medium skin, 30's and she was wearing grey work out style pants and a pink button up sweater with short sleeves. She was in charge of a boy who was about 4 and who came with her on foot wearing long shorts and sandals. The nanny who put the thingy in her diaper bag put it in a pinkish and tan diaper bag with long straps. She was Hispanic, older, maybe 50? She had medium skin, darker hair and some specks on her skin. I can't remember what she had on but she was taking care of a little baby with huge brown eyes and long eye lashes. The baby was probably 14 months old. It's kind of hard to remember the details today. The more I think about I think I saw something that should be alerted.
I was at the playground by PS 38 yesterday, (4/22) with my son. What a great day to be outside and enjoying New York City! Whooo Hahhh, Spring is finally here. Everyone seemed to be so happy to be outside with their kids and their charges. There was a lot of great care going on. There is one small thing that happened that I thought was strange. A nanny was carrying a black tote bag, medium sized and was showing another nanny what she had. That which she had was wrapped up in The Post (newspaper). We are busy playing and I don't pay much attention to her. I see the one nanny take one of the things, re wrap it, wrap it in a diaper and put it in her diaper bag. Later the first nanny with the black tote bag leaves the park. About ten minutes later, another nanny shows up and starts chatting up the nanny who took the object and placed it in the diaper bag. This nanny told the newly arriving nanny that she had just missed "aila", "haila" "Hail-yah", "Ai-lah" (?) and that she had some new stuff. The newly arriving nanny asked, "is this for you to keep"? and the other nanny said, "no, no, this I can sell for lots. Its 'lah/doe'". These were little statues. I saw two of them, but not up close. One was a man and woman, their bodies were very white and they looked like they were laying down but they were standing up in a blanket. (?). The second looked like a small group of ballerinas. These colors are almost pastel. The second nanny had wrapped the one with the man and a woman in a diaper. The nanny who brought the other one took it back home. I am not sure but I think I witnessed a nanny selling something of her employers. I could be wrong about this. I fully admit that. Whatever was going on is something that has been going on as I got to the vibe that this nanny was one to look for at the playground. The nanny who brought the stuff in a black canvas tote bag was Hispanic and Black or Puerto Rican. She had little or no accent, spoke perfect English, had brownish hair that was in little curls and frizzy. medium skin, 30's and she was wearing grey work out style pants and a pink button up sweater with short sleeves. She was in charge of a boy who was about 4 and who came with her on foot wearing long shorts and sandals. The nanny who put the thingy in her diaper bag put it in a pinkish and tan diaper bag with long straps. She was Hispanic, older, maybe 50? She had medium skin, darker hair and some specks on her skin. I can't remember what she had on but she was taking care of a little baby with huge brown eyes and long eye lashes. The baby was probably 14 months old. It's kind of hard to remember the details today. The more I think about I think I saw something that should be alerted.
Nannies Who Go To Far...
Received Wednesday, April 23, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
First, let me say, our nanny is a Godsend. We love her, trust her and she is a part of our family. She has been with us for 3 years, 3 months. I was shocked when I came home yesterday and she had taken our son for a haircut. The haircut was a bit too trendy, (think vintage Maddox) for my taste. I was speechless at first, because usually she tells me when she is taking him for a haircut or I ask her to, so I wasn't expecting it. He's a boy, his hair will grow quickly and he loves his haircut, so I kept my shock in perspective. If she went too far, I think it was because, after three years, instead of doing less and less, she looks for more and more things to do for not just the children, but our entire family. I just wonder if any other employers have had a nanny go a bit too far, and not necessarily in a negative way. Or nannies, have you ever done something you thought trying to be helpful and then realized, 'maybe that was too much'? A picture of my son and his new style would really illustrate my story. I love this blog and all of the people who comment on it. Looking forward to hearing back. -A
First, let me say, our nanny is a Godsend. We love her, trust her and she is a part of our family. She has been with us for 3 years, 3 months. I was shocked when I came home yesterday and she had taken our son for a haircut. The haircut was a bit too trendy, (think vintage Maddox) for my taste. I was speechless at first, because usually she tells me when she is taking him for a haircut or I ask her to, so I wasn't expecting it. He's a boy, his hair will grow quickly and he loves his haircut, so I kept my shock in perspective. If she went too far, I think it was because, after three years, instead of doing less and less, she looks for more and more things to do for not just the children, but our entire family. I just wonder if any other employers have had a nanny go a bit too far, and not necessarily in a negative way. Or nannies, have you ever done something you thought trying to be helpful and then realized, 'maybe that was too much'? A picture of my son and his new style would really illustrate my story. I love this blog and all of the people who comment on it. Looking forward to hearing back. -A
Monday
The Forever Nanny
Avoiding Nanny Nightmares: 9 Steps to Finding and Keeping Your Forever Nanny
Hiring a nanny is not unlike marrying a lover without first having the chance to date. But it's easier to get the skinny on a lover because you spend time together. A nanny, on the other hand, is left at the door when you kiss your kids goodbye in the morning. All you can do is hope for the best...... (by Kimberly Brown)
Everything's Wonderful Until I Need a Day Off...
Received Monday, April 21, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a situation that I'm not quite sure how to handle, and would like the opinion of nannies and employers who have been hit with this before. I'm a nanny for a (typically) good family and have been for 8 months now. I've had a crisis hit with my family, one that I've been incredibly affected by. A relative of mine has fallen ill and we're not sure how long they are going to hold up. It might turn into a situation where I need to fly home for a bit on a moments notice. My boss is very aware of the situation as I've tried to give her all the details I have so that she isn't blindsided if something happens. Normally the family does everything to try and make my life convenient. I have never had any problems with them coming home later than expected, nor with money, benefits, etc. etc. The one issue that I have had problems though is taking a day off. For example, I told my boss when I first interviewed with them that I would have to have an extended weekend this summer. It was a huge deal, and it doesn't seem like she can handle me being gone a day or two. needless to say, I'm scared sh*tless about her reaction if I need to fly home for a week, maybe more. How do I balance this? How does it work in a corporate setting? What in the world do I do from this point? There is no way I'd have any notice. Maybe a day or two, but I will quite literally have to up and leave. Any and all advice is welcome!
I have a situation that I'm not quite sure how to handle, and would like the opinion of nannies and employers who have been hit with this before. I'm a nanny for a (typically) good family and have been for 8 months now. I've had a crisis hit with my family, one that I've been incredibly affected by. A relative of mine has fallen ill and we're not sure how long they are going to hold up. It might turn into a situation where I need to fly home for a bit on a moments notice. My boss is very aware of the situation as I've tried to give her all the details I have so that she isn't blindsided if something happens. Normally the family does everything to try and make my life convenient. I have never had any problems with them coming home later than expected, nor with money, benefits, etc. etc. The one issue that I have had problems though is taking a day off. For example, I told my boss when I first interviewed with them that I would have to have an extended weekend this summer. It was a huge deal, and it doesn't seem like she can handle me being gone a day or two. needless to say, I'm scared sh*tless about her reaction if I need to fly home for a week, maybe more. How do I balance this? How does it work in a corporate setting? What in the world do I do from this point? There is no way I'd have any notice. Maybe a day or two, but I will quite literally have to up and leave. Any and all advice is welcome!
Confessions Of A Nanny
Received Monday, April 21, 2008- Rant, Warning (?)
I am a park bench nanny.
I am a couch potato nanny.
I do a 20 minute project with your kids so I can tell you we did arts and crafts today.
I know what time you should be pulling up so I grab some books 5 minutes before hand and we sit down so when you walk in I'm reading to your kids.
We bake slice and bake cookies so I can tell you we baked today.
I take them to the park and sit and read or talk on the phone while they run around for hours then I tell you went to the park and had so much fun! I play with them for about 30 minutes total out of a 3 hour park outing because kids have no concept of time. They report to you that nanny X played a lot with us and you are happy.
I give your kids Ice-cream and cake and candies so they love me, that's why they cry for me and ask me to come more and tell you they wish I could move in with you.
I almost never report their troubled behavior, that X bit someone at the park or Y hit his sister and pulled her hair. I report just enough so you don't get suspicious but not too much because I want to keep the illusion you have that your children are perfect. I am well groomed and well spoken. My references are glowing and I have done this for over 20 years. I have a spotless background and driving record so paying a ton of money to look into my past will yield exactly the results you are looking for.
Why some of you may ask. Well I will tell you.
You have made me this way.
When I chose childcare as my profession I went in with the innocent idea that I would be a viable part of a child's life. That you would treat me with respect. I thought you would respect the fact that I had a life and family of my own and that you would honor the agreements for responsibilities, duties, paid time off and raises that we made and often put down in writing. In 20 years, I have worked for 3 different families, not one of them did this. Oh, it started out OK, then you came home late without asking or even calling, you started not paying me for sick days even though I rarely called out. You decided to you couldn't afford a raise for me this year even though you got yours, your husband got his and you took a cruise to Alaska, a trip to the Caribbean and saw Euro Disney that same year. Of course these things happened with different families but they always end up the same. Treating me like a servant instead of the person who is responsible for your children's well being and happiness.
Things are just going South with family number 4 now. I start out being a great nanny, involved, attentive and everything you said you wanted in your ad. You started out being a great family, treating me well and with respect. Not asking me to walk your dog, or do your dishes or laundry. You used to ask if I could stay late not ignoring the fact that my husband made dinner for our anniversary and you knew this and still showed up 2 hours late and I went home to a cold plate to be reheated in the microwave. You bait me and reel me in and when I am settled and happy, you change because you know I don't want to have to change jobs so you begin playing your games. Check. But while I will never harm them or treat your kids badly you are not getting the loving nurturing person you advertised anymore because you killed her. I am the one watching your kids and I am not doing a great or even very good job. Checkmate.
Why post this? To try to make parents realize how important it is to treat their nanny well.
For the record, I personally think this person sounds like an ass. -JD
I am a park bench nanny.I am a couch potato nanny.
I do a 20 minute project with your kids so I can tell you we did arts and crafts today.
I know what time you should be pulling up so I grab some books 5 minutes before hand and we sit down so when you walk in I'm reading to your kids.
We bake slice and bake cookies so I can tell you we baked today.
I take them to the park and sit and read or talk on the phone while they run around for hours then I tell you went to the park and had so much fun! I play with them for about 30 minutes total out of a 3 hour park outing because kids have no concept of time. They report to you that nanny X played a lot with us and you are happy.
I give your kids Ice-cream and cake and candies so they love me, that's why they cry for me and ask me to come more and tell you they wish I could move in with you.
I almost never report their troubled behavior, that X bit someone at the park or Y hit his sister and pulled her hair. I report just enough so you don't get suspicious but not too much because I want to keep the illusion you have that your children are perfect. I am well groomed and well spoken. My references are glowing and I have done this for over 20 years. I have a spotless background and driving record so paying a ton of money to look into my past will yield exactly the results you are looking for.
Why some of you may ask. Well I will tell you.
You have made me this way.
When I chose childcare as my profession I went in with the innocent idea that I would be a viable part of a child's life. That you would treat me with respect. I thought you would respect the fact that I had a life and family of my own and that you would honor the agreements for responsibilities, duties, paid time off and raises that we made and often put down in writing. In 20 years, I have worked for 3 different families, not one of them did this. Oh, it started out OK, then you came home late without asking or even calling, you started not paying me for sick days even though I rarely called out. You decided to you couldn't afford a raise for me this year even though you got yours, your husband got his and you took a cruise to Alaska, a trip to the Caribbean and saw Euro Disney that same year. Of course these things happened with different families but they always end up the same. Treating me like a servant instead of the person who is responsible for your children's well being and happiness.
Things are just going South with family number 4 now. I start out being a great nanny, involved, attentive and everything you said you wanted in your ad. You started out being a great family, treating me well and with respect. Not asking me to walk your dog, or do your dishes or laundry. You used to ask if I could stay late not ignoring the fact that my husband made dinner for our anniversary and you knew this and still showed up 2 hours late and I went home to a cold plate to be reheated in the microwave. You bait me and reel me in and when I am settled and happy, you change because you know I don't want to have to change jobs so you begin playing your games. Check. But while I will never harm them or treat your kids badly you are not getting the loving nurturing person you advertised anymore because you killed her. I am the one watching your kids and I am not doing a great or even very good job. Checkmate.
Why post this? To try to make parents realize how important it is to treat their nanny well.
For the record, I personally think this person sounds like an ass. -JD
Saturday
Central Park Great Lawn in NYC
Received Saturday, April 19, 2008
I was out on the Great Lawn yesterday, (4/18) enjoying the day with a whole lot of folks. In the crowd was a nanny laying on a lime green towel, laying on her side facing her charge. Her charge was about 10 months old and she had stripped her naked and had her sitting in the full sunlight. The child was a female, Caucasian, light hair and eyes. The nanny was young, Caucasian, dark hair in a pony tail, wearing aviator sunglasses and capris leggings in an olive color. The temperature was about 85 degrees yesterday, she may not have known how hot it was at the time, but she was shading her eyes and body with clothing and sunglasses. Oh, and how do I know it was the nanny? A gaggle of teen girls at one point surrounded the girl and were cooing about how cute she was. The nanny said, "she isn't mine, I'm her nanny".
I was out on the Great Lawn yesterday, (4/18) enjoying the day with a whole lot of folks. In the crowd was a nanny laying on a lime green towel, laying on her side facing her charge. Her charge was about 10 months old and she had stripped her naked and had her sitting in the full sunlight. The child was a female, Caucasian, light hair and eyes. The nanny was young, Caucasian, dark hair in a pony tail, wearing aviator sunglasses and capris leggings in an olive color. The temperature was about 85 degrees yesterday, she may not have known how hot it was at the time, but she was shading her eyes and body with clothing and sunglasses. Oh, and how do I know it was the nanny? A gaggle of teen girls at one point surrounded the girl and were cooing about how cute she was. The nanny said, "she isn't mine, I'm her nanny".
Friday
Cobblehill Playground in Brooklyn, NY
Received Friday, April 18, 2008
I would like to thank Jacob's nanny today, (4/18) for her ridiculous display of park etiquette. I was sitting on a stone pillar bench, leafing through a magazine as my child played 15 feet away. I noticed another party entering my space. It was one woman in a knee length denim skirt, long braid of brown hair, Hispanic, approximately 55 years of age. She had with her Jacob, a sturdy looking toddler of approximate two years, wavy brown hair, wearing tan jeans and Nike shox tennis shoes. The nanny lifted Jacob up on to the same pillar I sat against, turned him around, dropped his pants and started barking these instructions to him, "okay, Jacob take out your wormy"
"Point your wormy here. Hold on to it"
"Jacob, you have to hold on to your wormy"
"Okay, wriggle it, Jacob. Wriggle wormy off. Is he wriggled?"
"Now tap your wormy Jacob"
"Good job Jacob, put wormy back in, now".
I don't know if I was more pissed off that the nanny chose to toilet the child five feet from me or the creepy way she spoke about his "wormy".
I would like to thank Jacob's nanny today, (4/18) for her ridiculous display of park etiquette. I was sitting on a stone pillar bench, leafing through a magazine as my child played 15 feet away. I noticed another party entering my space. It was one woman in a knee length denim skirt, long braid of brown hair, Hispanic, approximately 55 years of age. She had with her Jacob, a sturdy looking toddler of approximate two years, wavy brown hair, wearing tan jeans and Nike shox tennis shoes. The nanny lifted Jacob up on to the same pillar I sat against, turned him around, dropped his pants and started barking these instructions to him, "okay, Jacob take out your wormy"
"Point your wormy here. Hold on to it"
"Jacob, you have to hold on to your wormy"
"Okay, wriggle it, Jacob. Wriggle wormy off. Is he wriggled?"
"Now tap your wormy Jacob"
"Good job Jacob, put wormy back in, now".
I don't know if I was more pissed off that the nanny chose to toilet the child five feet from me or the creepy way she spoke about his "wormy".
Prospect Park in Park Slope, NY
Received Friday, April 18, 2008
WITNESSED
One nanny was walking alongside a boy who was riding a ride on toy thingy. The nanny was holding a handheld device thing and punching in numbers or texting. The little boy was around 2 1/2 years old and was wearing a navy hooded sweatshirt that zipped up. He was white and I think his hair was brown and straight. The nanny was walking alongside him and she was wearing khaki colored capris and sandals. The sandals were the kind that don't reveal a lot of foot, her foot was pretty well protected. I mention this because when the child road over her foot, she kicked the ride on toy away from her. It was a pretty hard kick because she moved the front wheel and the boy started to tilt but didn't tip over. He also didn't seem to mind that kick. He was busy on his bike. The nanny went back to her typing on her device. Her eyes were on her device, not him. He then came very close to riding into a stroller being pushed by a white woman with straight, shoulder length blonde hair. The nanny looked up and then grabbed the child by the back of his hood (behind his neck) and dragged him and the bike towards her out of her way. The woman pushing the stroller said, "that's okay, I saw him coming" and the nanny says, "well he needs to learn to watch where he's going". The woman pushing the stroller said, "yes, I supposed we all do". (This went right over the nanny's head). The nanny continued letting the child ride while she typed on her device. Maybe that doesn't sound en total like a huge deal, but the nanny just seemed totally put out by this child. There was no reason she couldn't text on her phone, just give the kid a little something, a smile. A pat on the back, something. The nanny had an accent, so I think she was from the Caribbean. Her hair was very short but she managed to gather it in to a tiny pony tail which was sticking out of the back of a tan colored old navy baseball cap.
WITNESSEDOne nanny was walking alongside a boy who was riding a ride on toy thingy. The nanny was holding a handheld device thing and punching in numbers or texting. The little boy was around 2 1/2 years old and was wearing a navy hooded sweatshirt that zipped up. He was white and I think his hair was brown and straight. The nanny was walking alongside him and she was wearing khaki colored capris and sandals. The sandals were the kind that don't reveal a lot of foot, her foot was pretty well protected. I mention this because when the child road over her foot, she kicked the ride on toy away from her. It was a pretty hard kick because she moved the front wheel and the boy started to tilt but didn't tip over. He also didn't seem to mind that kick. He was busy on his bike. The nanny went back to her typing on her device. Her eyes were on her device, not him. He then came very close to riding into a stroller being pushed by a white woman with straight, shoulder length blonde hair. The nanny looked up and then grabbed the child by the back of his hood (behind his neck) and dragged him and the bike towards her out of her way. The woman pushing the stroller said, "that's okay, I saw him coming" and the nanny says, "well he needs to learn to watch where he's going". The woman pushing the stroller said, "yes, I supposed we all do". (This went right over the nanny's head). The nanny continued letting the child ride while she typed on her device. Maybe that doesn't sound en total like a huge deal, but the nanny just seemed totally put out by this child. There was no reason she couldn't text on her phone, just give the kid a little something, a smile. A pat on the back, something. The nanny had an accent, so I think she was from the Caribbean. Her hair was very short but she managed to gather it in to a tiny pony tail which was sticking out of the back of a tan colored old navy baseball cap.
Chidren at the Liberry After Brefest...
Received Friday, April 18, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Our wonderful nanny is a remarkable person. She is energetic, fun, trustworthy and treats our two children as if they are her own. We have a six month old and a 2.5 year old child. The problem is that the nanny says words like "baffroom" (bathroom), "bat" (bath), "han" (hand), "srimp" (shrimp) "alls" (as in "alls you have to do"), and "aks" or "axe" (ask me), "fith" (fifth), "tex" (text), "supposably" (supposedly), "liberry" (library), "burd" (bread), "brefest" (breakfast),"jewry" (jewelry), "chidren" (children) and "birfday" (birthday).
I racked my brain thinking of the words that concern me, because it isn't just 2 or 3. I promise you, I am not a critical person, but my oldest spends 7-9 hours a day with the nanny and he has picked up some of her vocabulary. '
My question is this:
1) Do we correct this on our own with the child out of site of the nanny? OR
2) Do we correct this on our own with the child whenever it comes up (possibly in front of the nanny) ? OR
3) Do we talk to the nanny about our language preferences?
Our wonderful nanny is a remarkable person. She is energetic, fun, trustworthy and treats our two children as if they are her own. We have a six month old and a 2.5 year old child. The problem is that the nanny says words like "baffroom" (bathroom), "bat" (bath), "han" (hand), "srimp" (shrimp) "alls" (as in "alls you have to do"), and "aks" or "axe" (ask me), "fith" (fifth), "tex" (text), "supposably" (supposedly), "liberry" (library), "burd" (bread), "brefest" (breakfast),"jewry" (jewelry), "chidren" (children) and "birfday" (birthday).
I racked my brain thinking of the words that concern me, because it isn't just 2 or 3. I promise you, I am not a critical person, but my oldest spends 7-9 hours a day with the nanny and he has picked up some of her vocabulary. '
My question is this:
1) Do we correct this on our own with the child out of site of the nanny? OR
2) Do we correct this on our own with the child whenever it comes up (possibly in front of the nanny) ? OR
3) Do we talk to the nanny about our language preferences?
Ideas for a Parting Gift from the Nanny...
Received Friday, April 18, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I have a question that I was hoping the nannies and parents on here could answer...if you could post this that would be great. Thanks so much!
I've been a nanny for just shy of 5 years and have worked with the same awesome family for the entire time. I'm moving out of state next month and leaving my dear charges and employers and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to what I could give the family? They've been so incredibly gracious while I've worked with them and since I won't be around to see them frequently after I move I wanted to get them something. Any suggestions?
I've already started working on a photo album but was wondering if there was anything else I could do....thanks in advance for any info/advice!
I have a question that I was hoping the nannies and parents on here could answer...if you could post this that would be great. Thanks so much!
I've been a nanny for just shy of 5 years and have worked with the same awesome family for the entire time. I'm moving out of state next month and leaving my dear charges and employers and was wondering if anyone had any suggestions as to what I could give the family? They've been so incredibly gracious while I've worked with them and since I won't be around to see them frequently after I move I wanted to get them something. Any suggestions?
I've already started working on a photo album but was wondering if there was anything else I could do....thanks in advance for any info/advice!
Thursday
Child Forms Bond With Nanny - Bad
Received Thursday, April 17, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Imagine a child, or rather 2 or 3 children who have had the same nanny; virtually since birth. For reasons hard to comprehend, their father is very critical of the situation. The father's idea ? The nanny should be fired after one year of service to prevent the children from growing attached or forming a connection to the nanny. Your reaction?
Imagine a child, or rather 2 or 3 children who have had the same nanny; virtually since birth. For reasons hard to comprehend, their father is very critical of the situation. The father's idea ? The nanny should be fired after one year of service to prevent the children from growing attached or forming a connection to the nanny. Your reaction?
Nannies and The Husbands? Myth or Reality?
Received Thursday, April 17, 2008
Dear Jane,
I don't know if this would fall under Rant or not, but with all of the attention given to the Nannies in the news lately either because they are having an affair with their Boss or filing a complaint of sexual harassment, I would be curious to know how many Nannies on this Blog would be willing to tell their story. Were they just "hit on" by their Employer, were they harassed, or did they have a full blown consensual affair? How did they feel about it? And did the Wife ever find out? Thank you.
Dear Jane,
I don't know if this would fall under Rant or not, but with all of the attention given to the Nannies in the news lately either because they are having an affair with their Boss or filing a complaint of sexual harassment, I would be curious to know how many Nannies on this Blog would be willing to tell their story. Were they just "hit on" by their Employer, were they harassed, or did they have a full blown consensual affair? How did they feel about it? And did the Wife ever find out? Thank you.
Coffee Complication...
Received Thursday, April 17, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I would love get some insight from the parents that read this blog. Here is my situation: The family that I work for likes to go out for a coffee in the am not too long after I've arrived at work. This happens anywhere from 1-3 times a week. They never give me any advance notice that they are going to be out of the house while I am on the clock, nor do they let me know when they are going to be back. They take their toddler with them and I am left home alone. They don't ever offer to bring anything back or ask if I'd like to go along (no biggie, because I'd say no anyway....but it's just the thought). But when they leave, I don't know if the time they are gone is my personal time or if I am expected to be "working". Most of the time, I tidy up, run a load of laundry and such. But there are times when there is nothing for me to do. Once in a while it's nice to have that "down time" but it's getting to be often and I am getting bored. It throws a wrench in the dynamics of the day for everyone, including the little toddler. So, my question to you parents is this: would you feel weird just leaving your nanny like that? Would you expect your nanny to relax or would you expect them to be working while you were gone? And, if your nanny came to you asking what you expected of them during that time, would you be offended or would you feel bad not clarifying? It's just something that's been bothering me as of late and I"m trying to figure out if it's even worth mentioning. There is no mention of anything like it in my contract, so I can't go to that for reference. I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Nannies, I'd love your input as well!
I would love get some insight from the parents that read this blog. Here is my situation: The family that I work for likes to go out for a coffee in the am not too long after I've arrived at work. This happens anywhere from 1-3 times a week. They never give me any advance notice that they are going to be out of the house while I am on the clock, nor do they let me know when they are going to be back. They take their toddler with them and I am left home alone. They don't ever offer to bring anything back or ask if I'd like to go along (no biggie, because I'd say no anyway....but it's just the thought). But when they leave, I don't know if the time they are gone is my personal time or if I am expected to be "working". Most of the time, I tidy up, run a load of laundry and such. But there are times when there is nothing for me to do. Once in a while it's nice to have that "down time" but it's getting to be often and I am getting bored. It throws a wrench in the dynamics of the day for everyone, including the little toddler. So, my question to you parents is this: would you feel weird just leaving your nanny like that? Would you expect your nanny to relax or would you expect them to be working while you were gone? And, if your nanny came to you asking what you expected of them during that time, would you be offended or would you feel bad not clarifying? It's just something that's been bothering me as of late and I"m trying to figure out if it's even worth mentioning. There is no mention of anything like it in my contract, so I can't go to that for reference. I'm looking forward to hearing what you have to say. Nannies, I'd love your input as well!
Wednesday
The General Nanny Rant....
Received Wednesday, April 16, 2008- Rant
I am a stay-at-home Mom living in NYC. I truly admire all of my fellow Moms who maintain careers and Motherhood. I know I couldn't do it. Since I am out & about daily with my baby, I see a lot and some of it is pretty concerning. I have to wonder if parents know what's really going on while their babies are in the care of their Nannies. I often see a lot of them (particularly of Island decent) being very aggressive with the children physically by yanking their arms. I also see many not speaking to little kids nicely or with care....as they are often too busy talking on their cell phones to properly deal with the child. I see Nannies 'hanging out' in clusters on the sidewalks not paying attention to the children, talking on cell phones and not being conscious of pushing the strollers and clothes shopping. The kids are not asleep, they are awake. Sadly, I don't see any nurturing going on. One day I saw a woman literally screaming at someone on their cell phone with a baby in tow. Many days I see Nannies in stores leaving the strollers a few feet away, while they look at the racks.... Also, I'm sure the Moms don't want their kids pacified with candy & doughnuts which I often see if the hands of toddlers while the Nanny shops. Last, these Nannies often look unclean (as if they haven't showered). When I see all of these things I mentioned, I feel sad for the children and their Moms who don't know what is going on. I hope my posting encourages Moms/parents to take a hard look at who is caring for their children.
On A Clear Day, You Can See Forever...
Received Wednesday, April 16, 2008- Rants & Warnings
To all UES working Moms with nannies. I encourage you to please take a day off and follow your nanny. For the last few weeks since the weather has been nice, I have seen so many nannies shopping on 86th and the surrounding area with absolutely no attention being paid to the children they are watching. This is not a WOHM v. SAHM issue. I 100% support working Moms, and if earned enough money for it to be worth it to go back to work I would've. After taxes, I earned the same amount as a nanny does off the books. I struggle financially, but I have no choice.
I understand if a nanny needs to do an errand or two, but to casually shop while the kids are in the stroller is unacceptable. When it is nice out, the kids, even babies should be outside and out of their stroller. I know as a Mother that I shop on occasion with my child, but I know when enough is enough and I am engaging her when we are out together.
When I worked full time, I would be fired if I shopped while on the job as much as the nannies I see. Your kids deserve better. Please check up on them. Even if you have to be late for work one day.
P.S Favorite nanny hangouts on the UES are as follows: Ann Taylor Loft, Strawberry, The Gap, Pier One Imports, Bolton's, Orva, and Victoria Secret. Go there any day between 10 and 4 and you will know what I mean.
I am a stay-at-home Mom living in NYC. I truly admire all of my fellow Moms who maintain careers and Motherhood. I know I couldn't do it. Since I am out & about daily with my baby, I see a lot and some of it is pretty concerning. I have to wonder if parents know what's really going on while their babies are in the care of their Nannies. I often see a lot of them (particularly of Island decent) being very aggressive with the children physically by yanking their arms. I also see many not speaking to little kids nicely or with care....as they are often too busy talking on their cell phones to properly deal with the child. I see Nannies 'hanging out' in clusters on the sidewalks not paying attention to the children, talking on cell phones and not being conscious of pushing the strollers and clothes shopping. The kids are not asleep, they are awake. Sadly, I don't see any nurturing going on. One day I saw a woman literally screaming at someone on their cell phone with a baby in tow. Many days I see Nannies in stores leaving the strollers a few feet away, while they look at the racks.... Also, I'm sure the Moms don't want their kids pacified with candy & doughnuts which I often see if the hands of toddlers while the Nanny shops. Last, these Nannies often look unclean (as if they haven't showered). When I see all of these things I mentioned, I feel sad for the children and their Moms who don't know what is going on. I hope my posting encourages Moms/parents to take a hard look at who is caring for their children.
On A Clear Day, You Can See Forever...
Received Wednesday, April 16, 2008- Rants & Warnings
To all UES working Moms with nannies. I encourage you to please take a day off and follow your nanny. For the last few weeks since the weather has been nice, I have seen so many nannies shopping on 86th and the surrounding area with absolutely no attention being paid to the children they are watching. This is not a WOHM v. SAHM issue. I 100% support working Moms, and if earned enough money for it to be worth it to go back to work I would've. After taxes, I earned the same amount as a nanny does off the books. I struggle financially, but I have no choice.
I understand if a nanny needs to do an errand or two, but to casually shop while the kids are in the stroller is unacceptable. When it is nice out, the kids, even babies should be outside and out of their stroller. I know as a Mother that I shop on occasion with my child, but I know when enough is enough and I am engaging her when we are out together.
When I worked full time, I would be fired if I shopped while on the job as much as the nannies I see. Your kids deserve better. Please check up on them. Even if you have to be late for work one day.
P.S Favorite nanny hangouts on the UES are as follows: Ann Taylor Loft, Strawberry, The Gap, Pier One Imports, Bolton's, Orva, and Victoria Secret. Go there any day between 10 and 4 and you will know what I mean.
Tuesday
Your Thoughts?
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
This has been in the news for a few weeks now and a number of people have sent links in for discussion...
A former nanny for Rob Lowe claims the actor sexually abused her for years but she continued to work for him and his wife because she loved their two sons and needed the job. (Court Documents.)
Gibson appeared on the “Today” show, but didn’t say much. Most of the talking was done by her lawyer, Gloria Allred. Together, they denied everything in Lowe’s lawsuit, and said that the actor and his wife tried to "hide behind" confidentiality agreements they had their employees sign. Those papers were purposely used as excuse to not "properly pay" Jessica Gibson. Rob Lowe’s former nanny Jessica Gibson has come forth with her own allegations against the 44-year-old actor, accusing him of sexual harassment. Gibson said Rob Lowe exposed and touched his private parts in front of her, and groped her on several occasions.
Gibson also says Lowe's wife Sheryl walked around naked, "completely exposing herself,"
Link to Jessica Gibson on the Today Show 4/15/08
Rob Lowe Nanny Jessica Gibson Claims Sexual Harassment
Former Nanny: Rob Lowe Fondled Me
Nanny -- Rob Touched Me in Lowe Places
Rob Lowe's Fired Chef Has "Issues"
Rob Lowe Declined Police Intervention In Blackmail Claim
Lowe To Cops: I Can Handle Sex Case On My Own
Rob Lowe: 'I Did Not Have Sex With That Woman'
Rob Lowe, Sheryl Berkoff File Suit Against Nanny Laura Boyce
This has been in the news for a few weeks now and a number of people have sent links in for discussion...
A former nanny for Rob Lowe claims the actor sexually abused her for years but she continued to work for him and his wife because she loved their two sons and needed the job. (Court Documents.)
Gibson appeared on the “Today” show, but didn’t say much. Most of the talking was done by her lawyer, Gloria Allred. Together, they denied everything in Lowe’s lawsuit, and said that the actor and his wife tried to "hide behind" confidentiality agreements they had their employees sign. Those papers were purposely used as excuse to not "properly pay" Jessica Gibson. Rob Lowe’s former nanny Jessica Gibson has come forth with her own allegations against the 44-year-old actor, accusing him of sexual harassment. Gibson said Rob Lowe exposed and touched his private parts in front of her, and groped her on several occasions.
Gibson also says Lowe's wife Sheryl walked around naked, "completely exposing herself,"
Link to Jessica Gibson on the Today Show 4/15/08
Rob Lowe Nanny Jessica Gibson Claims Sexual Harassment
Former Nanny: Rob Lowe Fondled Me
Nanny -- Rob Touched Me in Lowe Places
Rob Lowe's Fired Chef Has "Issues"
Rob Lowe Declined Police Intervention In Blackmail Claim
Lowe To Cops: I Can Handle Sex Case On My Own
Rob Lowe: 'I Did Not Have Sex With That Woman'
Rob Lowe, Sheryl Berkoff File Suit Against Nanny Laura Boyce
I want to rewrite the letter and then copy the signature...
Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I just left my nanny position of 5 1/2 years on good terms because the family is finally self-sufficient and moving. The family had five children that included two sets of twins. I took care of each of their children from birth until school age. I can't count the times I've given up everything to help them. Everything was great when I left the position and we agreed to meet once a year to catch up. Then I received my "recommendation" letter. My employers and I agreed on the letter rather than calls for two reasons: they are incredibly busy with the move and I'm a male nanny. Although I have over a decade of experience, numerous references, and certifications; most employers don't even bother calling my references because I'm a man. The letters can be presented at a moments notice to try and help ease parent's concerns and give me a little bit of a chance. So you can see I was really counting on this letter. Now I feel completely tricked and used by this family. The "letter" was only five sentences long! It's awful! There is nothing in there about how long I've been working for them, how old the kids are, what I've helped with, taught the kids, or signs of appreciation. This comes as a shock because for years they have told me how wonderful I am and how they have no clue how they got so lucky. I'm so angry at them for leaving me high and dry.
I want to rewrite the letter and then copy the signature. They didn't leave a forward number and don't want to be contacted by cell phone for reference checks. So this letter is all I have to show future employers. How out of line am I to rewrite this letter? I wouldn't falsify any information; just include the things I stated above. These are business people and I thought they would know how to write a letter, but apparently I was wrong. Is it acceptable to rewrite the letter to include just the bare details or am I doomed to have a nearly 6 year gap in my employment history? Other nannies: have you had this problem, and what did you do? For employers of nannies: how would you feel if someone rewrote your recommendation letter?
Thanks for any advice you can give!
~Massachusetts Manny
I just left my nanny position of 5 1/2 years on good terms because the family is finally self-sufficient and moving. The family had five children that included two sets of twins. I took care of each of their children from birth until school age. I can't count the times I've given up everything to help them. Everything was great when I left the position and we agreed to meet once a year to catch up. Then I received my "recommendation" letter. My employers and I agreed on the letter rather than calls for two reasons: they are incredibly busy with the move and I'm a male nanny. Although I have over a decade of experience, numerous references, and certifications; most employers don't even bother calling my references because I'm a man. The letters can be presented at a moments notice to try and help ease parent's concerns and give me a little bit of a chance. So you can see I was really counting on this letter. Now I feel completely tricked and used by this family. The "letter" was only five sentences long! It's awful! There is nothing in there about how long I've been working for them, how old the kids are, what I've helped with, taught the kids, or signs of appreciation. This comes as a shock because for years they have told me how wonderful I am and how they have no clue how they got so lucky. I'm so angry at them for leaving me high and dry.
I want to rewrite the letter and then copy the signature. They didn't leave a forward number and don't want to be contacted by cell phone for reference checks. So this letter is all I have to show future employers. How out of line am I to rewrite this letter? I wouldn't falsify any information; just include the things I stated above. These are business people and I thought they would know how to write a letter, but apparently I was wrong. Is it acceptable to rewrite the letter to include just the bare details or am I doomed to have a nearly 6 year gap in my employment history? Other nannies: have you had this problem, and what did you do? For employers of nannies: how would you feel if someone rewrote your recommendation letter?
Thanks for any advice you can give!
~Massachusetts Manny
Diana Ross Playground in NYC
Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Large, Jamaican nanny wearing a very pretty cashmere sweater. (*Edited at OP's request). She had on gold earrings, blue jeans and a very pretty face. She was taking care of two boys, both 3ish. One was buzz cutted wearing a Knicks jersey over a l/s white shirt, the other was wearing black cargo pants and a black camouflaged style sweatshirt zipped all the way up. I don't think they were related, I think they were friends. She kept telling the one that I am certain she was the nanny of to let the other child go first, drink first, etc. It was to the point that she was borderline abusive. She was just enamored of the other child making me think he was the child of a celebrity or something. All that not really important, what is important is that at one point she took the child that was definitely her charge aside and told him, "no one is ever going to want to be your friend. you want to have no friends?" The boy was already crying and she made him cry more. Then the nanny said something like, "no one wants to be friends with a baby. Why don't you just stand here and cry like a little bitch..baby (she corrected herself) and I will go play with Chase." Then the nanny left him there and went over and involved herself with the child, Chase.
Parent- this nanny isn't helping your child by treating him like this!
* 4/16/08 12:09 AM I apologize for the less than thoughtful comment regarding the sweater, believe me that was not how it was intended. I am especially sorry because it distracted people from the true content of this post and the full scope of what I saw, which involved a small child being treated quite cruelly by his nanny.
Large, Jamaican nanny wearing a very pretty cashmere sweater. (*Edited at OP's request). She had on gold earrings, blue jeans and a very pretty face. She was taking care of two boys, both 3ish. One was buzz cutted wearing a Knicks jersey over a l/s white shirt, the other was wearing black cargo pants and a black camouflaged style sweatshirt zipped all the way up. I don't think they were related, I think they were friends. She kept telling the one that I am certain she was the nanny of to let the other child go first, drink first, etc. It was to the point that she was borderline abusive. She was just enamored of the other child making me think he was the child of a celebrity or something. All that not really important, what is important is that at one point she took the child that was definitely her charge aside and told him, "no one is ever going to want to be your friend. you want to have no friends?" The boy was already crying and she made him cry more. Then the nanny said something like, "no one wants to be friends with a baby. Why don't you just stand here and cry like a little bitch..baby (she corrected herself) and I will go play with Chase." Then the nanny left him there and went over and involved herself with the child, Chase.Parent- this nanny isn't helping your child by treating him like this!
* 4/16/08 12:09 AM I apologize for the less than thoughtful comment regarding the sweater, believe me that was not how it was intended. I am especially sorry because it distracted people from the true content of this post and the full scope of what I saw, which involved a small child being treated quite cruelly by his nanny.
The Big Chill....
Received Tuesday, April 15, 2008- Rant
I am so angry. My nanny was off early yesterday as both my husband and I came home early. She had the 2 year old's dinner prepared for us and she was off. We fed the child and then took him outside to play because it was very nice out. We played ball and chased him around the yard. He was wearing a long sleeved turtleneck. We played outside from 6-645 ish. At 730, my husband dressed him for bed, gave him a bottle and put him down for the night. My son, who wakes up every night at least once woke up as he usually does crying. This time when I went in, he appeared to be shivering. I flipped out and became enraged. The nanny had never turned the heat back on last night. It was obviously not needed during the day but I was beside myself angry that my child was shivering. When I saw her this morning, I screamed my head off at her. Do you know what she had the audacity to say to me? That WE should have turned the heat back on. Then, she made some sort of reference to the fact that we were outside without jackets until 7PM, just before his bedtime. The nanny abhors heat and is on the same floor with the child, I think she intentionally didn't turn the heat back on yesterday because she is a selfish person and only thinks of herself. And when I was giving her a piece of my mind, she had the nerve to say to me, "well you were watching television in the living room last night, were you cold, were you cold?" Isn't the point that she turns the heat down in the morning all the information needed to know that she should have turned the heat up in the evening? The first floor is on one thermostat, the second floor on another thermostat and the third floor on another thermostat. The nanny and child both have rooms on the first floor. We sleep on the second floor. (The third floor is an office, guest room, home gym and playroom).
I am so angry. My nanny was off early yesterday as both my husband and I came home early. She had the 2 year old's dinner prepared for us and she was off. We fed the child and then took him outside to play because it was very nice out. We played ball and chased him around the yard. He was wearing a long sleeved turtleneck. We played outside from 6-645 ish. At 730, my husband dressed him for bed, gave him a bottle and put him down for the night. My son, who wakes up every night at least once woke up as he usually does crying. This time when I went in, he appeared to be shivering. I flipped out and became enraged. The nanny had never turned the heat back on last night. It was obviously not needed during the day but I was beside myself angry that my child was shivering. When I saw her this morning, I screamed my head off at her. Do you know what she had the audacity to say to me? That WE should have turned the heat back on. Then, she made some sort of reference to the fact that we were outside without jackets until 7PM, just before his bedtime. The nanny abhors heat and is on the same floor with the child, I think she intentionally didn't turn the heat back on yesterday because she is a selfish person and only thinks of herself. And when I was giving her a piece of my mind, she had the nerve to say to me, "well you were watching television in the living room last night, were you cold, were you cold?" Isn't the point that she turns the heat down in the morning all the information needed to know that she should have turned the heat up in the evening? The first floor is on one thermostat, the second floor on another thermostat and the third floor on another thermostat. The nanny and child both have rooms on the first floor. We sleep on the second floor. (The third floor is an office, guest room, home gym and playroom).
Monday
Child Being Bullied at Clifford School in Portland, Maine
Received Monday, April 14, 2008- Rant
This is a Rant about elementary school teachers rather than a Nanny. However, I am very concerned about the little girl I saw and if by some chance parents from this school read this I would want them to know about the lack of supervision. I saw this at the Clifford School in Portland, Maine. I am not going to list the name of the child here because it is a small school but if someone has a daughter there than email Jane and I will send you the girl's name.
I went to move my car, which was next to an elementary school. The kids were outside. On the farthest end of the playground this little girl was laying face down on a bench SOBBING. A group of boys were covering her in leaves and chanting "(name) likes to wear dirty underwear" ... I tried to say something to them through the fence but they ignored me. I looked for a teacher and there were two, standing by the school chatting and ignoring all the kids. But they were too far away for me to yell to them from the fence. So I went to school and couldn't get the poor sobbing kid out of my head. So I ended up going back to the school and telling the people in the principles office that this kid was getting bullied and the teachers didn't see it. They knew who the girl was and said they would look ask her who the boys were, etc. I mentioned politely that the teachers might need to walk down that way to deter the boys from gathering in the corner. They rolled their eyes and laughed and basically said "yeah, if we could get them to." Hello, that's your job!!! Grrrr. I'm really glad I said something and that they are looking into but I feel so sad for that little girl. I don't want anyone to get in trouble I just want them to watch out for her... getting picked on is one thing. Getting buried and leaves while you sob is another.
I wish I was a parent and knew other parents. I am providing Jane my email address so she can forward any inquiries directly to me.
This is a Rant about elementary school teachers rather than a Nanny. However, I am very concerned about the little girl I saw and if by some chance parents from this school read this I would want them to know about the lack of supervision. I saw this at the Clifford School in Portland, Maine. I am not going to list the name of the child here because it is a small school but if someone has a daughter there than email Jane and I will send you the girl's name.
I went to move my car, which was next to an elementary school. The kids were outside. On the farthest end of the playground this little girl was laying face down on a bench SOBBING. A group of boys were covering her in leaves and chanting "(name) likes to wear dirty underwear" ... I tried to say something to them through the fence but they ignored me. I looked for a teacher and there were two, standing by the school chatting and ignoring all the kids. But they were too far away for me to yell to them from the fence. So I went to school and couldn't get the poor sobbing kid out of my head. So I ended up going back to the school and telling the people in the principles office that this kid was getting bullied and the teachers didn't see it. They knew who the girl was and said they would look ask her who the boys were, etc. I mentioned politely that the teachers might need to walk down that way to deter the boys from gathering in the corner. They rolled their eyes and laughed and basically said "yeah, if we could get them to." Hello, that's your job!!! Grrrr. I'm really glad I said something and that they are looking into but I feel so sad for that little girl. I don't want anyone to get in trouble I just want them to watch out for her... getting picked on is one thing. Getting buried and leaves while you sob is another.
I wish I was a parent and knew other parents. I am providing Jane my email address so she can forward any inquiries directly to me.
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