Exit Strategy

     My husband and I had a meeting with our nanny of 4.5 years on Wednesday night. We talked about changes coming up. One of our children is not going to sleep away camp, so we need someone to work a full day during the summer. This is due to personal issues, also surrounding some of the changes. We need to move towards a governess type nanny who can work one on one with once child in particular. During the conversation, the nanny said she would forgo her camp job this summer to continue working with us and that she could more than handle the tutoring and one on one with our child. She argued that no one knows him better than her. The truth is our child is on the spectrum. She does know him well, but one of the reasons we want to make changes is to improve his outlook and daily life. This would require more education and skills. We  discussed this and the nanny seems to understand we will also be looking to provide more in the way of compensation.
   

Ada Breedveld

On Thursday night, the nanny approached me alone to follow up on the conversation. She told me that she has waited for three years for me to offer her health insurance and gone without. She also told me this was illegal and that had we been paying her on the books and she was terminated for the new hire we seek, she would be entitled to unemployment. Things are deteriorating rapidly, no doubt because feelings are involved. She then told me what she would be entitled to for six months of unemployment and said she thinks that she deserves that for everything she did for our family and for the reason she was being so quickly replaced. I did not tell her, but we have already spoken to candidates about taking over the job. We wanted her to stay with us through June 26. Clearly that is not going to happen. My husband is of course irate and sees it as she is blackmailing us. I can see his side of it, but the reality is, if she were to report us to the IRS, wouldn't we owe more money? We have not paid into unemployment and we also have two part time housekeepers. For reference the amount she is asking for is $9900. I'd rather end things amicably, especially because of my son whom she is bonded with. I've also spoken to my cousin who knows her well and says that she could in reality be entitled to more than that if she extended her unemployment, and that she should get severance in addition to the unemployment amount. I'm not angry at anyone. I am just stressed and want to keep the peace. I did make the mistake of suggesting to her she could easily find another job and I would provide her with a great letter of reference. I suggested I would help her and she wouldn't need unemployment, but she bristled at that. She has taken great pride in volunteering at a local camp for underprivileged kids while my kids are in daycamp and I suggested, also to her chagrin, that perhaps that could turn into a job.