Showing posts with label power and control. Show all posts
Showing posts with label power and control. Show all posts

Monday

On the Curb, with the Garbage

Dear I Saw Your Nanny,

I was hired on August 2 by a family in Scarsdale, NY to care for there two children 9 months and 2.5 years. I had responded to an ad in the local newspaper. My references were checked. I started. Things seemed to go okay. On me, they were very hard because the parents both left by 7 and didn't get home before 7:30. During this time, I was busy every minute with the two kids.

After the first week, we had an impromptu meeting to discuss how things were going. I was thanked for everything I was doing and assured it would get easier and the days would "soon be shorter".  I arranged for a service to bring my things to me at their house, about 12 boxes, which I unpacked over the course of two days.

At the end of the second week, I noted that my check remained $750, which was the basic salary agreed upon for the hours of 7:30-6:30. That's already a long day, and especially for $750. I asked my female employer if I should expect to get paid for all of the over time. (I had not worked a single day that was less than 12 hours, some were as long as 14 hours). She told me with a smile, "I'm so sorry, it's been unusually hectic. Let things get settled and we will not just figure out what we owe you but also give you some time off to catch your breathe". I was satisfied with that.

Two more weeks go on and they are the same. The mother's excuse was plausible because she had just returned to work and the father always worked long hours. On the home front, the kids really missed mom and it took a lot of dancing on my head to keep them happy and entertained. I used some of my money to replace the provided TV in the nanny quarters with a very nice, new TV that I got for $400 at Walmart and was huge.

What I am trying to convey is that I worked every angle trying to make it positive. I waited on the payment, I pushed myself to the limits with the kids, gave it 100% and got moved in and tried to set up a nice nanny area.

Imagine my surprise when at 2:20 PM, the door opens on Thursday, Sept 10th and my female boss comes home. The baby is in the swing, dozing. The three year old is at nursery school. I'm sitting in a reclined position on the sofa four feet from the baby playing music on my IPAD.

She says, "GET UP"
I get up, "Oh my god, what's wrong?" I ask.
She says, "I want you out of my house"
I am in shock. "What???" I ask.
"Get your things together and I want you out. You have 30 minutes or I am calling the police". With that, she RUSHED to the swing, picked up the baby and stood by the door. She shouted at me, "let's go, let's go"
I was in shock. I wanted to burst into tears,but I was also scared. I was in some other person's home. What did I do? Exactly what she said. I threw my possessions into garbage bags and other things and dragged them outside to the front porch. I texted all of my friends that I needed a ride quick because my boss was freaking out.  I was sweating to death, going down the stairs and up the stairs, carrying out stuff. She stood there with the baby at the whole time watching me. She barked, "How much longer". I held back tears. "Probably two more trips" I said. And I hurried even faster. The next time I passed her she barked again, "I'll need the keys and the garage door opener". I went back and got the rest of my stuff. I was trying to carry it all out in one last trip. When I got to the door, she stepped in my path (baby was now away) and said "The keys". I reached for the garage door opener and keys from two different areas and one key went flying across the floor. She ran to it and stepped on it as if I had accidentally dropped it. She held her hand out for the other keys. Again, I held back tears. I wanted to ask questions but her face was not ammendable to that. I said, "can I atleast get my check?"
She reached in her pocket and pulled out five hundred dollars. She told me "This settles us up". The way she said it, I didn't argue, but it was already Thursday, that wouldn't even cover this week. She pulled the door back for me and I for the last time crossed the threshold. I set down a heavy box next to the steps. She slammed the door. Then she opened and said, "Move your stuff to the curb, I'm not comfortable with you waiting by the door".

Thank God my friend pulled up as I started to transfer my stuff from next to the front door to the curb. She couldn't fit all of the stuff in the car with me. So she took a load and left me with my possessions sitting next to the curb for her to come back. It was garbage day. It was the lowest point in my existence. I hadn't done a single thing. The worst thing I could thing of was I had the baby in his swing during nap time, but he wasn't going to sleep, so I didn't leave him upstairs crying, I brought him down and put him in the swing. And I was right there next to him!

I need to get another job but I am so shaken by this incident. I don't know what I did. I don't want to contact them. I just wanted to share this experience because it felt and feels so lonely and awful. I felt not even like a human being.

Rough Day? Share your story with isynblog@gmail.com.

Saying NO

Nannies (and parents), please help.
Lizzie Riches

I have been working as a nanny for almost 6 years. I have been a live-in nanny, live-out nanny, worked in big cities and small, and as an au pair. In almost every single position I have ever worked in, job creep happens. I know this is a common thing for many nannies, but I feel as an experienced nanny in my late 20s, I should freaking know better by now. I have never asked for a job contract because I'm afraid if will make me look pushy and untrustworthy of the family; I have never asked to be paid on the books for the same reasons. I work and work and work my ass off until I am burnt out and in tears. I consider myself a great nanny; usually work with school-age kids, very academic based, organized, responsible, etc, etc. I have always gone the extra mile and that earns me a lot of brownie points with families who are quick to recommend me to their friends because of it. Unfortunately, it also earns me a lot of extra responsibilities that I did not agree to when hired and am not paid extra for. I do not have time nor energy to detail every time this has occurred, but rest assured the occasions are numerous. I have lived with kids for 2+ weeks while both parents have been traveling for my regular pay plus $50 extra per night because MB did not feel like she had to pay me for sleeping. I been saddled with all the usual cleaning/laundry/take the dog to the vet/take the car to the shop/do all the grocery shopping nonsense because I did it one time and then it was expected of me. Most recently I was asked to take the family dog into the vet on my WEEK OFF. (I said no to this one because I was out of town.) During summer jobs, I have literally taught children entire school years worth of material over summer breaks because they were so far behind and never paid a dime extra for acting as an intensive special-ed teacher, but I just cared so damn much about those kids that I wanted to help them, you know?? You all know the drill. It's endless and repetitive. Please, for the love, help this too-nice-nanny have the guts to say NO for once without being made to feel GUILTY or like I am going to lose my damn job for not bowing to a family's every whim.