I want to leave my current position and get another nanny position. I have been here almost a full year and dealt with all kinds of things. I am very bonded to the daughter and I have tried to work with the family to resolve some things. When I brought these things to the family's attention, they behaved punitively towards me, shutting me out, not talking to me for awhile, being curt, etc. The problem has been the behavior of the five year old boy. The behavior has me in a very difficult position because I am from Ireland and this is my first nanny job and I need a reference. I have references from Ireland for nursey, but you can see why I would need their reference. The problem with getting a reference is not going to be my job performance, but that I will need to make some sort of formal report about the child before I leave because his sister is just not safe so long as the family continues to ignore his behavior problems.
A handful of examples I will give you, he put sewing pins in the dog's bed in his crate and shut the dog in there to "see what would happen", he poured his sister a glass of orange juice and a glass of purple colored household cleaner in side by side glasses and challenged her to a taste test. Here, he said, he wasn't really going to let her drink, he just wanted to see what she chose. The family has a gas stove and he plays with the knobs, usually only when I am cooking, to shut things off or turn things higher, but as you can imagine, this could be deadly.
He also takes very dangerous risks with his own behavior, sliding down a banister, hanging over the upstairs banister, tying a rope from a downstairs door to an upstairs door and trying to hand slide down it. Just to be clear, the reason I am leaving is because since coming to work here, I have had so much anxiety and am always on edge. When I go home, I am worried about the younger child. The parents do not take anything I say seriously. I am an outsider in this community and don't know who I would approach for help, so I have been advised that I should make a phone call to Children's Services. I don't have any problem doing this and using my identity, because the parents do not want to deal with their son's issues. They are both extremely detached from both children. My question to you is how do I time this? I am alone in the US and have one roommate. She has become a friend but is a roommate first so she has no friendly loyalties to me to help me should I become short on rent. I want to extricate myself from this situation and know that both children will get the help they need, but that I have my reputation intact and another job to switch to. Has anyone ever been in such a situation?
Showing posts with label NYC nanny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label NYC nanny. Show all posts
Monday
Friday
Buzzkill
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| Cannabis and the Nanny on I Saw Your Nanny |
She insisted that I come for the interview and we scheduled a date and time. I attended the interview and no mention at all was made of the smoking. The closest thing that came up is, "if you're somewhere and someone comes and sits by you who is smoking, please move". That wasn't so odd, since she also made very clear I should never take her children to certain areas in the city or ever take them in to a bank. Both parents were very nice, even laughed at themselves when they spoke about the things they were sticklers about. I left the interview hoping that I would get the job, but not thinking I would because the salary and benefits were at the very high end.
I was surprised when I got the phone call. They offered me the job. They asked me if I would be amendable to looking at the first week as a trial period meaning, that if it didn't feel right, we could say so and move on and I would be paid for the week. I thought that fair and agreed.
I started at the end of January. The mother was home the entire first day. The father most of the second. Gradually, I was alone with the children. The week was quite easy for a first week and the parents were very kind to me. I say kind because they had this quality that was really unusual in employers in that they wanted to make sure I understood, but that they weren't talking down, that they wanted to trust me do just about anything with the kids, but would still always want to know where I was, that they liked the kids to go out and do things and that would mean meals out and I should always feel welcome to get whatever I wanted, that they would make sure there was food in the house, but if there wasn't they would leave money. Just, really, really nice people. I was really excited to work with them. The kids always seem wonderful the first week, but they seemed genuinely so.
The week ended, and about three pm, the mother came up to me, thanked me for everything, paid me and told me that both she and her husband, as well as the kids were excited to have me and she looked forward to me working for them and hoped I was still interested. I said I was.
So I started work that following Monday. Things went swimmingly for the first month. I got used to the routine and the kids got to know my style. I picked up on what the parents liked and didn't as well as things I could do to make their lives easier. I'm good at what I do. The next month was even better, I was in a groove. Things began to feel very comfortable for me and they invited me to join them on their Spring Break. I had a contract, so the travel pay and accommodations were pre stipulated and to my liking.
I spent the weeks prior getting things ready for the family. Shopping for supplies, labeling and packing, and of course, getting myself ready for a tropical vacation in April. I bought bathing suits and shoes and went to the tanning salon. I was excited. The family gave me a Thursday off as we were due to leave that Friday. I used the day to finish packing. They were sending a car for me to get me to the airport by 600 AM on that Friday.
On Thursday afternoon at 235PM, I got a text message that said, "I'm sorry but 'Husband' and I spoke and we won't be sending a car for you tomorrow. We're going to go just ourselves." It hurt so bad, I think I gasped. I started to say that I didn't understand and then she said quickly, "and we no longer need your nanny services. We'll mail you a severance check and recommendation:" She hung up on me. I was shocked, ashamed, sad, scared and confused. It was horrible. I texted her and she texted me back, "please don't text me."
I felt like I didn't know what to do with myself. I stayed home for the next four days in a row, depressed and not talking to anyone. On Monday an envelope arrived with his work stationary. I opened the envelope. Inside was were three checks and a letter of reference. I wish I could share this letter with you because it only adds to my confusion. It's concise and accurate and glowing. The checks were dated one from that pay period ending on that Friday we would have left, one check marked severance that was two weeks of pay rounded up and a third check for $500 and in the memo it was marked, 'travel expenses'.
I'm sorry this is so long, but I have racked my brain trying to think what I have done wrong. So wrong that she could not even talk to me, but that they gave me the reference. I called the agency and I told her what happened and she called the family to talk to them. She spoke to the mother who said that I was "an absolute delight", "wonderful with children" but it was a 'personal issue' and she would highly recommend both me and the agency. I was more or less advised to not contact them (I told her about my text) and just let it go with the reference and everything.
The only thing I can think of is that she didn't tell her husband about the fact that I said I smoked weed and then for some reason did. I don't know why this would have come up, I was never asked to take a drug test, so ???? I've already got a new job that I am starting the beginning of May, but I am still losing sleep over this! Anyone? What am I missing?
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