2015 The Firings, #4

      I was with this family for an entire summer after leaving an amazing teaching job of 5 years. The 2 children ages 3 and 6. This was my transition job from a wonderful but high stress teaching position back into the nanny field and was supposed to be a stress reduover... After a few days the 6 year old began showing his true colors ie hitting me and brother at will noodling in parking lots, urinating in my car because I said no to ipad, Using abusive language toward me" shut your hole" when I sang along to snuggle puppy and this is just the tip of the iceberg. I was really trying to make it work as I have never been one to job hop or give up easily and felt that after 3 other nannies in 3 years the children deserved a bit of stability. After 3 months of grueling work I was finally starting to make progress when I received a call from the agency I was with asking to speak in person. I knew it was odd but went along and met with the rep on a Wed evening. The meeting was called to address the fact they felt I was eating to many Peanut butter pretzels. Seriously. The kicker is the pretzels were being eaten by the live in aunt whom was the one pointing the finger squarely in my direction. Above and beyond the insanity of this" issue" they found the need to have a mediator discuss this with me.? I was given an ultimatum replace the pretzels or find another job. .I Never went back. I ran into them at the aquarium a month later and couldn't help but notice the 3 year old was back in diapers and the 6 year old had his nap pull up ready for the ride home. Neither child said hello because one had a pacifier and the other a zippy bottle.

     I was fired on Feb 15th of last year for basically being too hot. My female boss had made plans for a night out on Feb 14th. I was staying late to babysit. I don't know what happened exactly, but he came home ahead of her. I was eating a salad in the kitchen. He sat down next to me. She came in ten minutes later looked at us both and stomped upstairs. The next morning, I come out and get started on work. She comes out in sweats and says, "We don't need your type here. Here's your pay through today, you have until noon to be out. I'm taking X to my sister's. And the cameras are on, so don't be stupid.".  I was of course shocked. I was crying and shaking when I packed my stuff. It was humiliating and I did nothing wrong. I never got to say goodbye to either child and I was there for almost 4 months.

     I just started my career, and was working T and Th for a W/SAHM. (I questioned if she did any work, as she was always leaving when I arrived. Bags under her eyes; not even foundation and concealer could help her. I later found out why she always looked tired all the time.) I had been there for a month and half when she decided to disenroll her 3.5 year old son from preschool. At first she would take the older child with her when she went out, and that changed soon, as she left him with me. So now I had two kids to care for, instead of the baby. No schedule for naps, meals or anything else. After Christmas break, we chatted about putting the 3.5 year old on a nap schedule, as I noticed he was getting sleepy after lunch. She agreed to me having him lay down for a half hour rest, if he fell asleep, he fell asleep. It worked for three days T, Th and T, my days that I was there. The next time I worked, Th, she asked that I not put him down at noon because she claimed he wasn't going to sleep until midnight. OK, fine, it's your child, but I don't believe you are telling me the truth. So I didn't put him down for a nap, and the kid is falling asleep standing up. She got home around 415, and I had to be in class by 530 in rush hour. As I was leaving, I noticed S was alseep. I asked MB if she wanted me to wake him up. Her response? " 'Oh let him sleep until dinner is ready at 630p.' " Wait, what? But you said if he naps during the day, he won't fall asleep until midnight. No wonder why he won't go to bed and you have bags under your eyes! Other things she didn't like: how I read "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" (apparently my tone was "scary") and the fact that I made him dress himself and he would start having a meltdown. One morning I was running late due to weather. Not that late. I start pulling into the driveway, and I see her leaving. She calls out of her car window, "We don't need you today, as my MIL is going to watch them. Your lateness is unacceptable." It was so long ago, I don't remember what happened. What I do remember is having clear boundaries with WAHPs. It was a learning experience.

     During my junior year of college, I found a once a month weekend position caring for an infant. I made them a priority, and literally cleared my schedule just for them: if anyone else needed me to babysit on this family's weekend, I declined, as this family came first. I charged them $12/hr, and had no issue doing so; with my experience and background, I thought $12/hr was very reasonable. I was there for five months (August-January) and liked the job. The baby and her dog (a huge lab) were so cute! I wasn't needed in February, as DB had that weekend off, so I waited for the text about working in March. Nothing, until I texted MB after not hearing from them for several weeks. I texted Wednesday afternoon. She gets back to me Friday afternoon and tells me they don't need me, as the baby is going with a relative both days. OK, hmmmm. April came around and I didn't hear from them. I felt what they did was rude and classless-I didn't do anything wrong except charge them what I thought was a reasonable rate. Apparently they thought I cost too much, so they fired me.

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nc said...

Those are crazy! I don't understand the first one at all. How do you fire someone for eating pretzels, even if it was the nanny? I, sadly, can't say I'm too surprised the mom flipped seeing the nanny sitting next to her husband.

Amanda said...

Most likely they had a fight if they came home separately after a Valentines day date night. Women can be very insecure. She probably hired an unattractive nanny after that one.

Anonymous said...

The husband sitting next to the nanny. It's clear just looking at her activity that she had been there for a bit, since husband just got home, it's clear he sat down next to her. The woman has her own issues. I'm willing to bet hubby was/is a cheater and mom fired her because hubby took an interest


Thirty something said...

Nanny no. 3 doesn't seem to understand that most 3.5 year olds have dropped their nap or are in the process of dropping their nap (which means dog tiredness for the kid and an early bed time if they can manage to stay awake til 6.30). They are too old to be put on a nap schedule. Also, sometimes it is better to help a 3.5 year old get dressed rathe than refuse to help them and let them have a melt down. No wonder she got fired!

No 4; a once a month weekend position is never going to be that regular. Not sure it counts as a firing rather than just a change of plans.

No. 1&2. Your employers sucked. I feel bad for you both.

TiredNanny said...

Thirty something:

I am the OP of 3 and 4. Let me clarify a few things about Family 3. The child was falling asleep standing up at 12p, and I was told NOT TO let him nap, as she claimed he wasn't falling asleep until midnight, when the reason why he was falling alseep at midnight was because MB was letting him take a nap at 430p. That's why he was falling asleep at midnight. And if a child is falling asleep standing up at 12p, I would say he needs a nap, not that he is outgrowing it.

Do you know what self help skills are? Do you teach that to your charges? A 3.5 year should be able to dress himself with help of course. It's called learning to be independent. Do you teach your charges how to be independent? Where did you see that I refused to help him? I encouraged him to dress himself, as I felt he was old enough to do it with help.

You sound like a bitch. She fired me because she was a bitch.

Alice said...

A 3.5 year old DEFINITELY still needs a nap!

Wtf? You're a PARENT?

I'm going to assume most of us nannies have more experience working with children than you do..

OP - That kid needed a nap, sad for him he isn't getting enough time to grow and develop properly and will likely suffer performance-wise because of it. Or have issues sleeping.

I encourage self-reliance and I encourage kids to at least try to dress themselves when possible, with minimal interference by me.

Melt-downs are normal and part of life for a kid between the ages of 0-12. Lol.

Anonymous said...

O.o Naps should be encouraged through kindergarten. They should be in bed with quiet time no matter what. If they can't sleep, read a book in bed is allowed but laying down only. This happens is most childcare centers and schools. It's good practice.


Anonymous said...

Here here TiredNanny/Alice!

I teach my kids to be very independent! I start at 18m teaching them to clean up, et all. By 2 I teach them how to get in their own carseats (not allowed to undo) properly, dressing themselves, by 3 we move into setting the table, putting dishes in the washer, separating their clothes and more. They LOVE to help and they love to show off. Tots are the biggest sponges.


Anonymous said...

Especially 16yrolds lol


Thirty something said...

Actually, I am a former preschool teacher and now a SAHM. Any experienced childcare professional, mother and indeed sleep book would tell you that children drop their need to nap between 3-4 years of age so many, if not most kids are powering through and going to bed early by age 3.5. My daughter is 3.2 at the moment and every third day doesn't need to nap. Most of her class have stopped napping altogether now. This is normal. Yes, there will be a period of transition where the kids are dog tired in the afternoons but their mom is right- if you let them nap at this stage, they stay awake longer in the evenings. I am not sure why I am wasting my time writing this, just read up on it. Also, you did not say that you gently encouraged the child to dress himself, which of course everybody does (and helps where the kids just can't do it themselves yet. My daughter has problems with pull overs on her own but anything else she can do alone). You said, and I quote, '... And the fact that I made him dress himself and he would start having a meltdown'. Gentle encouragement doesn't usually involve making a kid do something and then a meltdown. It's usually fun. If the other hasn't aaked you to enforce that he dress himself, of course she is not going to like that her child is having a meltdown about setting she hasn't asked you to enforce no matter what the child's response? What was I supposed to think since you didn't mention that you were gently encouraging him. In any case, your attitude is kind of bad as evidenced by your responses on this thread and I can understand why your job didn't last very long. Sorry, not sorry.

Anonymous said...

One of the parents I nanny for is a Child Sleep Therapist and deal with 2 schools and an education center. Don't know what part of the world you live but I stand by my comments.


Anonymous said...

*I* deal with 2....