I'm concerned about a rather harsh and blatantly damaging review posted on an online nanny-babysitter site. I babysat for the family once during late summer-early fall, and thought things went well. It was a last minute job with rather long hours, as I worked all day then arrived at the family home. Family seemed nice, the kids were cute and the night began. The kids were given a choice between playing or watching the movie that DB put on before they (DB and MB) left. They chose the movie. The kids wanted snacks, and the three of us went into the kitchen, where they each chose a snack and drink, even showing me where everything was. They went potty, we went back to the movie. It was about an hour before bedtime, and I explained to them that I was setting my phone and when my phone went off, we were going to clean up and start settling down. At this point they wanted to play while the movie was on, and I was fine with that. About five minutes before the alarm went off, one of the kids tried getting more toys from their room. I explained that the alarm would sound soon and we would need to clean up. The alarm rings and we had a blankie-lovey-stuffed animal party on the couch. Bedtime. We went potty again, brushed teeth, read books and lights out. I had the rest of the night to Netflix, and no matter how much caffeine I had, I kept dozing off. I knew D and MB wouldn't be back for awhile, so I set the alarm on my phone and took a nap. DB came home before MB, paid me and I went home. A few days later, I sent a thank you note, thanking them for the opportunity to babysit.
Four months later, I am notified by the site that this family left a review. Excited that I got feedback, my mood soured as I read the review, which was posted at the end of January, four months after I babysat for them. The review started with the fact that they thought I was fine. They then described me as someone who "severely traumatized their kids", stating that I didn't or allow the kids to leave the couch for anything, and that I yelled at the kids. They also claimed they "can't get another sitter without the looks of terror on the kids faces". I read, reread and reread the review again, and responded to them in a polite, respectful manner. I showed family and friends the review, who agree that this family is wrong about me and downright rude.
The funny part? I knew something was off about the review. Something told me to check online court records for our county and state. I did that and found out something interesting: DB filed for divorce from MB, dated 6 weeks after I babysat. That tells me there was family issues going on, and that the review, posted by DB, was posted under stress. The divorce proceedings were occurring when the review was written.
I have two glowing reviews and this sham on my profile: out of all the jobs I have applied for, only one family hired me, and they really like me. The other families have blown me off, and I think it's the review. Do I offer to explain my side of the review without being asked or wait until prospective families ask? The thing that gets me is that my reputation is on the line, as I opened a nanny agency, and I don't need this review out there. In all honesty, I feel like contacting DB and letting him know I apologize for the divorce, and that there is no reason to talk bad about someone no matter what is going on their personal lives.
18 comments:
Many people go through divorce and that is not necessarily the reason that he posted that online. You do not "know" that is why, no more than you can get in their heads and see what is there. You assume it, it is a fair assumption, but you cannot prove that the review was a lie by the mere fact that they are going through a divorce. That's just foolish.
That being said, I believe you. I believe that you did fine babysitting that night and did not traumatize these kids in any way and that the review is unfair. I think you can get that taken down, but you would have to get legal advice. If it is untrue, it is slanderous. I am really sorry for what you are going though. I think you should fight this.
You can sue him for deformation of character. Once filled, give him an opportunity to remove the review and you will drop the lawsuit. The that of a law suit is not what he needed in a divorce.
Defamation
Phone!!!!
Once filed
The threat
Needs
Seriously.....edit option would be lovely!
Or maybe MB got home that night, they had a huge fight. Kids are traumatized by sitters cause they associate them with the big fight. DB files for divorce and puts up the review to counteract kids recollection of that evening. Pure speculation but it would make sense! Why else would he post a review of ONE night of baby sitting four months after the fact...
Exactly my point Amanda! I was thinking the same thing. How else would he conclude that I traumatize kuds without being there firsthand to witness it?
Now that I think about it, DB did seem upset that night at MB....They fight, kids remember, kids associate fight with babysitting. Kids memory associates fight with me, a babysitter. Kids then get freaked out and DB blames me for everything.
Anyone know what kind of attorney I would contact? I'm seriously considering speaking to one about the matter.
O.o um you're under the assumption that there kids are traumatized, of that they associate it with you. If what you said is truev about the night..the father is just full of sit, using this night to better his case against wife or to deflect from him any accusations wife said about hubby. This is a divorce battle and he using this somehow. In sure the the kids don't even think of you.
To the other extreme, the kids could have used you as their manipulation to try to get the parents to stay together.... If no babysitter, parents can't go out and fight again. This would be true for any sitter though.
Bottom line. In willing to get the kids are fine and dad is using this to aid himself. If you threaten lawsuit, you can demand an evaluation of the kids.... After all, dad has to prove the words he typed are accurate to disclaim defamation. Do you honestly think it will go that far?
Angi-
DB wrote the review as "we", referring to himself and MB. He stated that the kids still talk about the night I babysat for them.
As I stated in my submission, I baby sat for them late summer-early fall, which was sometime toward the end of September. The review was posted at the end of January, and in the review he implied that I scared them so badly they still talk about me, even four months later. I would think that he would've posted a review sooner rather than later and for any child to suffer the trauma he is claiming happened, something severe would've had to happen, in which case nothing bad happened.
Perhaps he did use this against MB?
But it's all his word. No proud of anything, nor that what he is saying is even legit. It's all be! Get a lawyer
-Angi
*No PROOF
So sick of this blog and not being able to edit. Frustrating!!!!
So sick of anonymous comments.
Defamation. If you own and operate a nanny agency you have a lawyer that you work with, correct? I would assume so in case of legal issues with nannies/families you're working with. The lawyer on retainer is who you should speak with since the fall-out of this review and your business is directly impacted by the nasty remarks made.
If you don't have a lawyer on retainer, now is the time to realize that's what you should have as a business owner/operator. ;)
But yes, depending on your location is it defamation of character or slander to make false statements that directly impact your ability to find work, network, and continue to live your life to the fullest while operating an agency and working as a professional nanny.
I would not reach out, but speak to a lawyer IMMEDIATELY, and from there I would tell my story and ask how to proceed. Chances are a cease and desist, aka- have the bad review removed or I will, will suffice. If it doesn't, proceed with court filings and ask for proof that the children are traumatized.
If the kids don't remember your name, what y'all did that night, etc. in front of a clinically trained psychologist/psychiatrist, they obviously were not traumatized by you. But that of course would be the last course of action, if threats of a lawsuit didn't help.
But hey maybe he has lots of money and you can get some of it for this. ;)
I wasn't anonymous.. I signed mine. Read
-Angi
I love internet lawyers. They're so awesome and full of correct information [/sarcasm] OP. See a real attorney. Although it's likely a waste of money. Truth is a defense in a defamation case. So if the parents can convince their witness (AKA kids) to say these things happened, your sol. Also, as a nanny, it's not worth additional to the kids to have to testify. I would probably ask my previous jobs or families who had good experiences with you to post a positive review. Some sites like c a r e are geared towards parents and nannies rarely get a fair shake. One of my friends got a bad review there from a mom who was 45 mins late to the interview. My friend got tired of waiting and texted that she was leaving.
POV - this nanny is not just a nanny, she opened her own company.
I wouldnt have even said DOC as a nanny because you can back it up in an interview and you can mostly brush it off as a learning experience.
However
QUOTE:The thing that gets me is that my reputation is on the line, as I opened a nanny agency, and I don't need this review out there.
THIS is why she should find a way to deal with this. As a business, uou cant defend yourself like you can in interviews.
OP - can you rebuttal the review on that site? That certainly can help.
-Angi
My bad, Angi. I missed the part about her being a proprietor. Thanks for pointing it out.
YW
i think POV had a really great idea - get a letter of rec from EVERYBODY you possible can and play that up - anyone with a brain knows that on sites where people can throw mud it gets thrown if not by questionable clients then possibly competitors
there is no question they took their life out on you - i have seen this happen.
It would be great though if an option exists to make the parents aware of the wrongness of their actions - they will prob do this again to someone else - keep us posted - you will do well - you have the chops to be great in spite of the nuts
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