I know as a nanny we are mandate reporters. I am worried about the mom I work for. She has a hateful relationship with her significant other. I am very uncomfortable with the way she behaves in front of her 13 year old son's friends. She behaves very sexual. She bends over and makes sexual jokes. I have not seen it cross any lines where it is to be reported, but I think a mother of these kids would be ashame and outrage to see how she behave herself. Sometime I drop the boy at a friend before I leave and he is still there when I go home to my house. The mom who doesn't like to drive suddenly is making herself available driving for the boy and his friends. She even seems to have eyes for this one boy who is only 14. She encourage her son to invite him over and then offer to drive the boy home. I only know about this because I hear so after. This mom avoid driving duties all this boys life and now she wants to drive his friends home from her house after 8? I am not so comfortable with this and then I need my job and no one ever makes trouble for this woman. The housekeeper and other nannies they call her the fea bruja, which equals to an ugly witch. My friends remind me to mind my business. Just keep focused on what you have to do and mind your business. Keep your head down. I just have a bad feeling.
13 comments:
Yikes..you are in a tight spot. This is not a situation I would like to be in. I wouldn't say anything unless you see signs that something has happened.
I agree! I wouldn't want to deal with this. Scary stuff! I would almost want to turn a blind eye, because the more you see the more angst you are going to have.
I wish there was a way to anonymously tell the friend's mother but I doubt that would even help. Sorry you're in this situation!
DO SOMETHING! Take being a NANNY out of the picture for one second and realize it is our duties as humans to watch out for others.. ESPECIALLY those who can not speak for themselves which includes children. Protect that child BEFORE something happens!!!
And for the poster who says something about "dealing with this"... no one wants to fricking deal with that! No one wants to see your employer or ANYONE for that matter speak and act in a sexual manner towards young children who are powerless. The child is 14. That is BELOW LEGAL AGE OF CONSENT. Protect those boys before something happens! HONESTLY PEOPLE OPEN YOUR EYES. Would you guys be saying "turn your eye" if this was a MALE doing it to a 14 year old girl? Take gender out and realize this can lead to bad circumstances!
I would say keep a very keen eye on them. Offer to drive the boy home, be his friend, and make sure he knows he can confide in you and maybe he will tell you about it. THAT IS WRONG of the mother! SHAME ON HER! And while we can not control what people do, we CAN control how we react to it. Please do something. Talk to a mom. Talk to a counselor. Talk to anyone. Do research. I am sure there are ways to be anonymous.. check to see if their are hotlines you could call and get advice from anonymously. These are small but SEXUAL signs that can lead to big problems. Please please please coming from a person and nanny who LOVES children and believes it is our duty to protect children... say anything to anyone.. yes, EVEN if that means writing a letter and anonymously dropping it off to her.
If you feel that strongly that you notice it is now uncomfortable for YOU then this is a problem that needs to be addressed and it needs to be addressed ASAP. Can you look into other jobs perhaps before saying anything? UGH! YES, this is a very hard position to be in. But be strong, go with your gut, and please protect that child.
Report! This is scary! She's grooming him!
Could you give me the initials of the kid you nanny for? This sounds like someone that I have been suspicious of but thought I wsas wrong because I just don't care for the woman.
Find another job, have a convo with the father and move on.
Sorry but this is none of your business. If she seduces a boy who is 14 then so be it. If she attacks him then that is different. a 14 year old boy who wants to get physical with an older woman who is shamelessly throwing herself at him is again, none of your business. If you have anything beyond suspicions and simply have to report her then send a note to the kid's parents anonymously. But seriously. If this kid gets laid this way he is not the victim unless he is forced in some way.
Michael,
Thank you for your comments. We love comments. But no adult should be seducing a 14 year old child. And no 14 year old child should be in that position!
I agree with the poster who started out saying "DO SOMETHING".
Before anything else, it is our duty to protect the children, and a 14-y-o is a child, no matter how mature he may seem, and what that woman is doing is not okay in any way.
Typical ignorant male mentality. You have no business being around children. Do the world a favor and dont reproduce. Your logic has ILLEGAL reprocussions, including on those who dont report their suspisions and an illegal act does indeed happen.
A 14 year old cannot be 'seduced' by an adult. The relationship is inherently predatory and he is a minor. People acting like this isn't anyone's concern are the same people who allow all kinds of horrible behavior under the guise of 'family maters' or such. To the OP, I might consult with people in the legal or police field to see what they think and find out what the reporting requirements are. Not only to protect the boy but to protect yourself in case there are some extra requirements. I hope this is a false alarm.
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