So I have a slight issue and I don't really know if I should be concerned or
not. A little background, I work for a single dad. He's very nice, respectful,
and appreciates me a lot. I have no housework(although I do clean just to be
helpful), he pays me fair, and is always on time. Sounds perfect, right? Well
the problem came up when I took a week off for a cosmetic surgery. For a lack of
a better phrase, I got my boobs done. They are not over the top and I do not
show them off to any extent. After I got them done the dad told me that I look
good. Not too bad, right? Well now he is making time in the morning to sit and
chat for 15-30 minutes before he leaves for work, and again this morning my
surgery came up. He told me again that I look REALLY good. I quickly changed the
subject. My question is, does he just not know what to say? Is he simply trying
to let me know I made a good decision? Or is he being a perv? I don't really
know what to do.
20 comments:
If this were an office job, he would be bordering on sexual harassment. I would tell him the extra attention is making you uncomfortable and that you would prefer not to talk about your surgery while at work. Good luck!
No one ever deserves to be sexually harassed (and yes I definitely would count inappropriate comments about your body as harassment) in a work place. I think given the uniqueness of our jobs it's easy to blur those lines but if he is making you uncomfortable then you need to speak up. There is way too much misogyny in our society where men feel like its their right to be able to comment on women's bodies and they never get called out on it- especially when they are in positions of power. You are his employee and it is incredibly inappropriate to make comments like that.
If you're worried about losing your job just try to say something the next time he comments, just a gentle reminder that its not ok- it doesn't need to be a big confrontation.
Also as a p.s I really hope the rest of the ladies commenting on here won't resort to any 'well if you didn't want comments then why did you get implants'
I think we're better than that
^^^ ditto to everything you said
Wow Anonymous, maybe next time before you to decide to slap everyone's hands before they've done anything you can post under your real identity.
After all you are better than that.
OP,
It would not matter if you had your breasts hanging out it out it would still be inappropriate for him to comment to you that way.
I don't know his reasoning for the commentary. It could be all , some, or , none of the reasons you've come up with.It doesn't really matter what his reasons are.
What does matter is that his recent behavior is making you uncomfortable.
Your first step is to tell him that his behavior is making you uncomfortable, that him talking about your appearance and surgery make you uncomfortable and you feel that kind of talk is inappropriate.
If he is a decent guy he will stop.
While we're on the topic sexual harassment works in both ways. I've known many woman that go to far in their behavior when it comes to men.
Male nannies can be victims of sexual harassment same as female nannies.
We should support them in speaking up as well.
Why is he single?
My gay guys always talk about my boobs.
If it makes you feel bad. Just get up and change the subject.
Maybe,he is just being really nice. He may be interested in you. Would you ever date him? I am sure alot of single nannies that worked for single fathers may have dated. Like a workplace you here of romance.
opps @ hear
Is he sexually active?
Has it been awhile?
Where is his wife?
What size did you go too?
How were you able to only take one week off?
When I got mine, my employer who wanted to get hers done asked a lot of questions. She asked if she could see them. That made me uncomfortable, but she gave me an out. (I said no). But she wanted to know how they felt.
Guys are gross. I notice that a lot of them like learning that my breasts are fake. I thought that would be a negative while I was dating and eventually had to admit to that.
I much prefer real breasts, but one was noticeably smaller than the other.
I was wondering the same thing....how did you manage to only have to take a week off? I had the opposite surgery (a reduction) done and was in crazy pain for weeks. You must have had a reAlly good doctor to only have to have a week off.m
Op here. Thanks for the replies everyone! To twinnguns and doubletime; he does not have a wife. He is a fabulous dad to his son who's mother is more or less unfit. She's not around at all. I do not know his dating situation, nor does he ask about mine. I went to a full B cup because I didn't want to go over the top, but was completely over my small breasts. I've noticed that boys are extremely curious when I tell them I have fake breasts. My time off was more like 11 days. I have a high pain tolerance and didnt take any pain meds after the first 3 days. He was very willing to give me more time to recover but I just care for a small newborn so I thought it would be okay.
Actually my iPhone doesn't seem to be able to post under a name, in the future ill sign off KiwiNanny
Off topic but it totally reminds of the show The Office when Jan gets her boob job and Michael suddenly wants to date her again...Anyways I agree with everyone who says you should tell him that it simply makes you feel uncomfortable to talk about this issue with him. I think I would die if my DB started up a conversation about my boobs.It's just super unprofessional.
OP, if this was happening to me, at some point I would just look him square in the eye, and say, "I didn't get them bigger for you."
And move on. To other things.
I think the fact that you enhanced your chest makes you look a lot more sexual to him.
Reason being?
Let's say you got your nose done because it was simply too large. Or had your chin done, etc.
These look like you are trying to fix something that makes you unhappy.
Well if you got your boobs done, he is perceiving that you are concerned about your appearance in a sexual manner and that turns him on.
He has no right to tell you that you look good.
He is bordering on sexual harassment here.
I would watch this guy closely. Try not to be alone w/him and have your guard up.
I think he has the hots for you.
Hmmmm....why did you tell your single dad employer, you where having a boob job? Sounds as if you are looking for some attention from him...otherwise you would have just let him know out of respect that you needed a minor medical procedure done and without elaborating specific details as its your right to privacy.
And you are now wondering why your single make employer is ooogling you...not that he has a right, but this is what happens when you give TMI especially regarding cosmetic surgery. Is this really sexual harassment ...I think not! Is it uncomfortable, well I'm sure that it is a bit, but I do think you set the tone.
No professional nanny would ever do such a thing and as she would regard her privacy and her employer all the same.
And to all asking information on her breast surgery is really inappropriate...that is why the nanny profession is not taken seriously!
Advice keep your boob surgery etc...to yourself to avoid such issues.
Really!
as many people posted on another thread - it's very unfair when an emplyer does this - yes i have seen females do it, too
your very 1st step is to say in a professional way that you do not want to discuss it any more - until you do that it can seem that you do not mind
keep us posted please
Op here. I had no choice but to tell him. My job is lifting a child. If I was still unable to lift him I wouldn't have been able to be at work. So on my first day back he waited to see if I was able to lift, move, turn, whatever. If you had ever has a breast augmantation you would understand. Rude people like you, anonymous, is why no one takes nannying seriously. People are curious, I get that. I have no problem answering questions about it. My problem is that he made multiple comments about them. A professional employer would not have made the first comment, let alone the second. He has not made any more comments so I have chosen to ignore it. If more follow I will be sure to tell him how I feel.
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