I'm really not sure how to word this but I will do my best. There are 3 nannies on the street where I work. 1 and 3 hang out and 2 and 3 hang out. 1(me)... I love my job and adore my charges but its not my life. I have other interests and my boss likes that about me. 2... is a bit off to say the least. She is into every weird thing imaginable, like as far out as you can go, she does. But yet she's a hypocrite. I have cute nick names for my kids, which she finds unprofessional, but yet she will dish on her creepy sex life in front of her charges. She is constantly trying to stir up trouble between us and our employers. She's a good nanny for the most part but its very understandable why she has nothing of a social life. I could go into more detail but I'm trying to protect our identities and jobs. 3... is a wonderful girl who outshines any nanny that I've ever met. Plus she is a fun girl. She just gets sucked into 2's bull simply because their charges are friends. There is a bit of drama but I'm on the outer edge. So I guess my question is: is this common? Do any of you deal with drama with other nannies? I've been a career nanny for years and honestly this is the first time other nannies have been so close... its just weird. I'm not looking for advice but I'm just curious who has had a similar experience.
34 comments:
OP, it sounds like you are in the middle of the drama and not on the outer edge.
People don't "get sucked into" things. Clearly you and sunshine nanny enjoy being around the drama nanny... or you would tell her that talking about her sex life with you isn't appropriate, especially not in front of her charges (as you claim). Your question as to if this is "common" made me chuckle. At your ignorance. No professional nanny is going to say "oh yeah girl, the nanny down the block from me is nutzo too! Oh em gee! She totally tells me about her weird sex life in front of the kids!" No, dingdong. It is not common. Or acceptable. So be a big girl, and address it. Or stop complaining. Either one is swell.
I don't speak to her...now that school is over there is no need. So I am in fact at the outer edge
And I phrased the whole "getting us in trouble with our bosses".
She only tries to cause trouble with 3 and her boss. My boss doesn't really talk to the neighbors and the kids I watch are much older then 2 and 3's so they don't play together
Plus my boss is very laid back and oh NORMAL
I really really want to add a couple very significant details about 2 but they would be dead giveaways for anyone that may know any of us.
Hate to say it but you are right in the middle of it. Next time she starts speaking inappropriately especially in front of the kids speak up .
Not as a nanny, but in previous careers I have worked with people with less maturity than the kids we cared for.
The only other neighborhood Nanny near my charges only speaks in German. Who knows what she is saying to/about anything when playdates get set up for us, haha.
I know you don't want advice but, I would never let someone say sexual things in front of my charges without saying something. Even if it was just "Hey! Little ears. . ." And if it continued I wouldnt put my charges around hers when she is there. If it were to come down to it I would think most MB's would agree and understand your decision to not have play dates with her.
Are you in HS? Seriously, your grown adults(I hope) don't associate with ppl you don't like or don't respect. 2's personal preferences are her own and if you don't like talking about it then don't, speak up say your not interested and move on to a different topic. If she can't respect that then stop having playdates all together. 3 needs to learn to stand up for herself and is not your problem. Offer her advice on how to handle it then stop putting yourself in the middle. Be blunt and respect yourself by expressing your concerns.
This entire post is weird. To answer your question, no its not common for nannies over the age of 19/20 to involve themselves in other nannies drama. You are either very good friends outside of work or just acquaintances. There is no need to get that personal and judgmental unless children are at harm.
Agree with bostonnanny...I don't really see the point in posting something like this. You're putting yourself in the middle of drama by even caring what she has to say. Don't surround yourself people you don't like. No one is forcing you to hang out with her. So you're friends with "3" and "3" hangs with her...oh well. Either hang out all together and suck it up like a big girl, or just don't hang out with them at all.
why are her interests any of your concern? why do you feel you are able to judge someone like that? why do you feel that she has no life? she is obviously having "creepy sex"
She should not talk about her time off activities regardless of what they are, especially sex while she is at work. That is her own fault in my eyes
***sorry her "only" fault
...just wanted to chime in & share that Im impressed by the maturity level of most responses. Some were a bit harsh. But Im actually impressed. B)
Like the PP said, unless you are under the age of 20, you usually do not have nanny drama. Though I can personally say myself that I never experience nanny drama even in my younger years. Have I met nannies I didn't care for? Sure! But I kept my interactions with them brief and professional. Have I had nanny friends? Yes of course. But I never got too personal or intrusive into their lives and vice versa. Our friendships were based on playdates for the kids and brief encounters in the passing. We never gossip or "mess" with each others jobs. Our convos were based around the children or small talk. If 1 of my nanny friends would begin talking about their sex lives I would immediately end the convo or like Lyn suggested say "HEY! There are little ears around". I would also limit my contact with them. And if playdates were schedule with them due to the fact my charges were best friends with them I will explain that I am not comfortable talking about inappropriate topics.
Even if the charges are friends with one another a nanny can choose to NOT have their charge around an adult not deemed appropriate or "off". I think a MB would understand and agree with the choice if you explain. And if this other nanny is so "weird" or what have you then perhaps the MB should know how her nanny is truly acting. Not saying that YOU have to be the 1 to relay this message but if I was a mom I would want to know if my nanny was talking about sex and inappropriate things in front of my child. It's totally unprofessional and not to mention wrong.
Seems like OhhPlease was the only one to give a decent perspective. I disagree with luckoftheirish (unless she was being sarcastic) because I think most of the responses here were pretty catty. Why did you need to call the OP names, nashville nanny? That made you just as immature as nanny #2 in OP's story. And her asking about drama was totally on the mark, look at how some of you nannies on this blog act!
Oh, bethany and lyn - both of you almost always give great advice. I'm big fans of both of you!
my friend was in a 'playgroup' that erred into really toxic, mix of moms and nannies.
and i was good friends with a nanny who was fired and the gossip and two sides of the story definitely circulated through the small preschool.
i think this is a legit question. i've had plenty of nanny friends that i've thought 'wtf am i doing here?' either cause of the quality of care or the nanny's personality.
I was in those situations either cause my boss asked me to get the kids together, momentary lapse in judgement or the nanny's real personality came out over time.
i've gotten much better as an older nanny at seeing how a situation will go in the long rn and avoiding toxic people.
I Agree with Boston Nanny.
Op here
I think what needs to be understood is the times I have dealt this nanny, I have not had a CHOICE if I could associate with her or not due to the fact that my boss arranged the meetings (until she realized she was crazy). Nanny number 3 definately has NO choice as her boss and 2's are bff's and the kids are too.
I really did phrase my sumbition wrong and now I'm sorry for it.
It should have just been a humerous bit about how 2 thinks she is a wizard ever since seeing Harry Potter...she even puts this perfume on to make her seem more wizard like. Or how she is critisized the fact that my lack of owning a mini van makes me not take this job seriously (my boss and i drive the same make and model car).
She is just off and I'm so so so sorry if any of you think that I'm dramatic. I DID NOT choose to meet her or 3. I do however choose not to associate with her. Really I was just trying to share a story. Come on I'm not the one who needs to grow up...you all are.
you can choose not to listen
Frack,
I'm a mean girl. Don't like it? Tough noogies.
xoxo
Nashville
Unlike everyone else on here. I actually share your pain. My kids have had a set play date every Thursday with their friends since the day I started working for them. Their friends are good kids, but their nanny is whack. It's not that she's inappropriate, she's just bizarre!! Says some off the wall things, has some untraditional ideas, and most importantly she does NOT stop talking!! I think the problem is she IS a little younger, only 21. Anyways, she drives me nuts!
Here are some coping methods I've learned:
We meet at the park every week, that way there's plenty of space and I can walk away from her when needed. Yes, sometimes she does follow, but gets the hint when I ignore her.
I feel your pain OP, because you must stay cordial with this other nanny or you're gonna have some realllly awkward future play dates!!
Im sorry!!! Good luck!!
OP,
I was on the fence about you until the Harry Potter comment. You just lost me.
No sarcasm. A lot of these responses are from young women telling her to "rise above." In my opinion, that is a mature response.
I acknowledged that some were a bit harsh.
i NEVER said I was even still associating with her. If any of you could read you would see I was just curious about similar experiances. So telling me to rise above? ok great...I started doing that months ago.
I'm sorry if I lost you at Harry Potter but I think that proves what a nut job she really is. She might as well wear a cape all the time.
And if only she was young...mid 30's!!!!
I guess a lot of your responses prove the imporortance of being solo in this business. If I meet someone and they mention they are a nanny, I don't really pursue the friendship....and the way people act on this and other nanny sites is the main reason I think nannies have trouble being friends with other nannies.
Wow, wth?
mid 30s is pretty young imo.
OP, you sound very defensive. Why is that? Most of the people here read your post and got a vibe from it. that's all. You are the one who sounds "off."
I have an extensive wand collection, and I can tell without a doubt that I am cooler than you, OP. (they are called "robes" by the way, not "capes.")
You sound not fun.
OP, you can also choose not to be judgmental. you should also understand that when you ask for advice and you get it, then you need to take what people are saying to you. Even if you don't like it.
That is your problem. You are offended by anything or anyone that doesn't share your view. You want people that never met you to take your side in a simple solution. if you no longer associate with her, then you don't need to worry anymore.
Quit being so dramatic and grow up
And if she did wear a cape that is not your fucking business. i would like to wear a cape. It would be fun to wear one with a hood and walk around really late on a windy night.
Judge me. I don't like people that insult others for being creative. Not everyone needs to share your dull boring interests.
You should learn from this nanny you hate so much. She doesn't give a crap what people think of her and that is empowering.
We all need to grow up & we cant read. So who cares what we think!? Lol
lol@Phoenix "I would like to wear a cape." lmfao!
well said, Phoenix. I think it is sad when young people have this sense of entitlement about them. OP seems to have that. she has most likely been told by her parents all her life that she can do no wrong.
I never trust people who think Harry Potter fans should only be children.
OP, you need to get a more accurate perception of yourself. You are probably the one that other two nannies are talking about and saying how weird you are.
I agree with everyone that her weirdness and drama is none of your concern. Talking about it months after you said you stopped associating with her is odd. I have a fairy wand. The kids love it. It comes in useful while singing little bunny fu fu.
And my undying love to Umass for saying mid-30's is youg. Muah!
SLN, thank you very much! right back at you, youngstah!
Haha, I too would love to walk around in a cape (it would look so damn cute with boots and leggings) and can't wait to go to Harry potter world!! Maybe I'll buy one just to wear there?
LOL. I would love it. Perhaps I will rent some black cats to follow me around as well!
OP thinks she is better than those around her. She was probably raised by a mother who thinks she is also superior to most everyone. So judgmental & ignorant.
@whatmakesyouanybetterhmmm
I hope you are trying to be facetious. Calling someone judgmental, while being very judgmental is very ignorant.
@Pyr
I hope you are trying to be facetious. Calling someone judgmental and ignorant, while being very judgmental is very ignorant.
Post a Comment