When are kids typically too old for time-out? I am a 26 year old nanny for 4 little girls ages 2, 4, 8, and 11 and I have the youngest 3 sit in the corner or on the steps for time-out; and I have the 11 year old sit at the dining room table for alone time. (Kind of like the reflection room technique on super nanny). I think I'm going to start using the reflection room instead of time out for the 8 year old when she turns 9, because I kind of feel like 9 is the maximum age that time outs actually phase a kid. What do you think?
9 comments:
For my 10 and 12yo I call it "going to your room" rather than a time out. Though I think they are essentially the same thing -- a non-stimulating environment without electronics/games. I think 8-9yo is exactly the right age to transition the terms/goals. I think time alone in their room is a very effective consequence for my kids especially as an immediate intervention for sibling fights or disobedience.
I really have no need at this point to use time outs with my 8 and 11 year old charges. What works for us is a warning, followed by the loss of a privilege. If the behavior continues, they continue to lose privileges. Every kid is different though, and you have to do what works for you! :)
Yeah I agree with nycmom...I think as they get older I stopped referring to it as a time out and just sent them to their room or had them sit at the table away from the other children for a bit. Sometimes just quiet time to read a book and get out of whatever chaos got them into trouble in the first place was something I would do.
my 7 yr old charge goes to her room for 20 minutes for time out
I personally believe that kids are never too old for time out (My husband has to put me in time out quite frequently...well, even I put myself in time out on PMS days, who am I kidding??...) But seriously...call it whatever you want, but in our over stimulating society kids need time to reflect on their behavior regardless of their age. The only way I don't use "time out", "reflection time"...whatever you want to call it, is if the child no longer seems to respond to this as punishment. I've seen kids that enjoy having alone time and will act out just to get it. But if by putting them in this unstimulated place you bring about a positive change in their behavior, keep it up for as long as they are under your care!
I've stated before my feelings on time-out, which is I don't believe in them. But if you choose to use them, I would limit it only to the younger two. The 8 year old is too old and she probably uses that time to space out. I would say 5 or 6 is the absolute limit, if you insist on using it at all. Time out is a quick fix, rather than getting at the root of a real problem.
Time outs for an older child is silly. Sitting still on a chair is a piece of cake for them, they do it all day in school. So they wait you out and return to their goings on. I have a 16 year old myself and what works for him as punishment, is to "hit them where they live" Taking away cell-phones, banned from computer ( don't forget to lock it!) Banned from the video game system, ( I hide the controllers) No going over friend's house's, no trips to the mall. I think you get the picture. Just be sure to get permission from the parents before laying down the law in this way.
I don't think time out in a corner should go past the age of 3 or 4. the reason is as the kid gets older they learn how to sit still with little difficulty and this is no longer a punishment. And if they no longer "fear" this punishment there is no reason for them to be detered from doing bad things.
I suggest you run screaming from anything you saw on Super Nanny. And, yes, these two older children are too old for a time out (or this 'reflection room' nonsense). Find another method.
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