I've been working with this family since Sept, 2 boys 3/5. I have noticed the father who works from home on porn sites, he will click fast to a blank screen. The sad part is Mom works from home and her office is in the basement. I want to know has anyone else dealt with this and how do I handle this. So far I have ignored this, this is disgusting.
22 comments:
Look, I know it's kind of gross to walk in on, but all guys look at porn. Really - all of them. If your boyfriend says he doesn't, he's lying.
The man you work for is in his own home, and if he wants to look at porn, he's totally entitled to it, Mom or not. It doesn't sound like he's sexually harassing you by shoving it in your face, or anything.
However, I'd suggest doing some hardcore knocking whenever you need to go into his office, or wherever he works...
Unless he's viewing it around the kids or the kids can easily access it, or he is viewing it so loudly that you can hear it and feel harrassed you just have to deal or deal with it until you find another job.
It's none of your business. He's an adult watching porn in his own home. You are the nanny, not the porn police. (And it's more than likely the wife knows.) Take care of the children. That's your job.
NOT all men watch porn, robinsparkles.
Knocking is a good idea. If it becomes a distraction and happens too much, I would suggest talking to him about it and asking him to not do it when you're in the house.
This is a hard one for me.
Personally, I think pornography is wrong. And I think if it were me- I'd probably find a new job. Judging by most of the comments, I'm the "extremist" here. But- really, I don't want to be anywhere near that stuff.
I'd probably find a new job, put in my notice, and say the reason was "uncomfortable circumstances". If they press for details- go ahead. I think it's something a wife should be entitled to being aware of, if she's not already.
Not to mention...what if a Child accidentally walked in on this?
I am on the fence w/this. I agree that all guys probably do watch porn..okay maybe not ALL of them, but pretty much most of them. As long as he is respectful to you, then it shouldn't affect you too much.
I would have a problem if he just finished watching porn, then came in the kitchen and made conversation w/me immediately after. I would be wondering about his state of mind at the time.
It's ultimately up to you OP. I don't know what I would do.
MandaJ, I'm totally with you on this one. All men don't watch porn. That's beside the point though- I would be totally uncomfortable too. I get that it's their house, but the DB needs to he respectful of who's in his house as well. Plus, just gross! I mean, I would HATE to know what might be going on in there! Ugh. I don't have any advice, but if it really makes you uncomfortable, I'd leave. Good luck!
So many little girls in this post that need to grow up.
She cannot tell her DB to not watch porn.
It'll make for great job interviews to ask parents if porn is kept in the house.
He's not viewing it in front of the kids.
He isn't leaving it in a place where the kids can access it.
He's not viewing it in front of the nanny.
He's not viewing or doing anything else so loudly that the nanny and kids can hear him.
He's not asking the nanny to participate in viewing with him or making any other inappropriate comments towards here.
As for mom who's to say she's not viewing porn with him?
This just as crazy as lasts week's post where someone thought she could demand a DB never be in the house when she worked.
Good grief!
i can't believe you would even think to bring it up, honestly. totally not your business to bring it up, just knock next time.
Grow up. His wife probably knows he looks at porn. It's his house, his computer, his time. He wasn't asking you to watch it with him! It's none of your business. Quit if it is "so disgusting".
I have to go with unicornsparkle on this one. You are being ridiculous and silly, OP.
Maybe it's not OP's business, but he should not be viewing it while there are children and a nanny in the house. It's inappropriate. It would be fine if he waited for them to leave, or to do it at a more appropriate time.
So parents should refrain from having sex after their kids are born until they are 18 in off to college because they might walk in and see them?
Give me a friggin break! So many of you are very ridiculous and childish .
He is in a seperate room from him.
He is not watching it so loudly tht the nanny or kids can hear it, or leaving items all over the place and asking her to participate.
Many of you & the nanny to groe wp and realize the real world is not full of unicorns and lollipops.
OP you are out of line here, but if the thought tht dad watches porn is too much for your fragile heart to handle you should quit.
Quit and become a nun. A nun that neber leaves the convent.
OP where is dad working?
If he is working someplace that has is in your view or the boys you might have a valid complaint.
Otherwise you can either ignore it like you have been. Or quit.
No not all men view porn.
Also not all women ( maybe even his wife) are against it.
pray tell what is "disgusting" about this? Are you prude? Is he not allowed to watch porn? He is a grown adult you know?
I watch porn. My husband and I both like porn. There is nothing wrong with it. I don't know why you feel you have any right to say anything. Nor why you feel you have any right to even pass judgment. He is an ADULT. Mind your own fucking business.
OP, you're entitled to your opinion.
My advice: If you don't want to be around it, don't (i.e., avoid being around dad's work area, or quit). I don't really think this is a matter you should discuss with him as it is his house, his time, his business.
P.S. I think it's disgusting, too.
LOL! I'm sorry, I find this funny. I've accidentally found porn in my bosses house too but I just laugh it off. But he's a single dad, and I just figure, he's an adult, he's alone, he's a guy...it's going to happen! Whatever. As long as he's not making ME look at it, what do I care? As far as the wife goes, I don't think she should know (Not from you anyway). She may or may not but that's relationship stuff between them and I would NOT get involved if I were you. It will only be uncomfortable and probably not end well. Quit if it makes you crazy but if you can ignore it and you like the job besides that, just deal with it and KNOCK first. :)
That having been said, I once babysat for someone when I was a teenager and found KID porn, not adult, and that was a whole different issue. I alerted someone to look into it and things were dealt with from there.
yes. child porn and beastiality are totally different issues as they are abuse. Not 2 consenting adults. I still don't know some women are creeped out by porn. I spoke to my husband about it and from what he assumes its because a lot of women are self-conscience about themselves and they think that men watching the porn are doing so because they don't find them attractive. that is seriously not the case. Well maybe in some relationships where the woman is prude and finds porn "disgusting"
I really wish more women would embrace the fact that they are sexual creatures but they don't. I don't know what kind of person I would be if I bottled everything up inside and felt threatened by women on a dvd. i don't have that kind of complex. The only time that it is bad is like previously stated it is child animal abuse or if the person is a sex addict. That can be really damaging. But you can usually spot those types of people because they are typically predators and will harrass their employees and they don't typically have a type. They will have sex with just about anything. And that is dangerous. But porn is nothing to be ashamed of. I guess if you feel threatened by it then you will need to quit. And you should probably never be in a relationship because you obviously have serious self esteem issues or you are severly fucked up in thinking that you can inflict your close-minded opinion on others.
The world would be a better place if no one judged anyone else but alas that is wishful thinking. I will continue to be "ignorant" in my ways because I feel everyone is their own person.
I am not sure the people here understand the definition of ignorant
Phoenix,
Anything else? Ya done?
Did you come here to judge those who apparently are judging orrr to answer the question?
Geeeez.
I heard there was Harry Potter porn. I just heard there was.
I think it is disgusting, because he know you are going in and out of his office. However, it is his home so if he wants to look at porn he is allowed to. I'm more upset about the fact that he isn't more private and respectful about it. Just try to stay out of his home office.
Ha!
The things we nannies come across.
My bosses have their adult shows saved to their On Demand. I discovered that when I was searching for the kids' music.
Anyways,
It'd not your place to tell mom. Though She probably already knows. If you don't like that he watches porn quit.
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