Thursday, June 16, 2011 – I saw a nanny walking down Fifth Avenue pushing a young girl, approximately 2 ½ year old, screaming her head off with real tears and her face flushed red because she had being crying for so long. The nanny was on her cell phone talking away. The nanny was African-American, (no accent), late 20's to early 30's, short, petite and had long curly hair with some rust highlights (to the shoulder). She was wearing sunglasses and had on a spaghetti top shirt that was a tiered ruffled type with white, tan, yellow being the color of the tiers. She was indignant. I approached her and told her to get off the phone (she kept talking away) and tend to the little girl and she used extremely foul language to me at the top of her lungs in front of your child. I won’t mention the words but they started with the letter “F” and many variations thereof. She said, “If you are so worried about her why don’t you take care of her then?” Nice attitude. I said that if I did she would have a better chance. This was peppered with additional foul language in front of her child. She was a nasty, vile woman and whoever employs this nanny should fire her immediately as now it is screamingly obvious how she handles your precious little girl. She does not care about your daugher and obviously does not want to take care of her either. I told her that I would never allow my child to be cared for by someone like her. Other people in the area (even the newsstand owner) were just as horrified. Poor baby. The little girl was approximately 2 ½ years old with light brown wavy hair. Her was sort of a bob style (chin length). She was wearing a dress or skirt but I was so upset that I cannot recall the details. I wish that I had my cell phone with me to take a picture.The nanny crossed at 23rd and Fifth Avenue heading towards Madison Square Park with the little girl still crying. No attention paid to the girl by the nanny at any point. No comforting nothing. The nanny remained on her phone through the entire exchange. The girl looked at me pleadingly when I looked back. Poor baby. Be safe and God bless her and get her away from this wretched woman.
26 comments:
Ugh...sightings like this one break my heart into pieces. That poor child was probably hoping you, a complete stranger, would rescue her from that horrid woman!! Thank you for being her advocate and perhaps the newspaper guy or anyone else who witnessed this locally will see this little girl again with her parent(s) and notify them of this vile and heartless excuse of a nanny!!!!!!!!! :(
Do you know the reason why the little girl was crying? Sometimes kids cry just because they are not allowed to do something or she got in trouble. My kids are crying when I don't agree with something that they want or when they got in trouble for doing something bad. I don't think that is anybody's problem and approch me because of that. The vocabular of the nanny wasn't right, but maybe she got upset because you asked for explanation. Which, again is not your business.
I agree with Arizona. I used to watch a child who would have a complete tantrum screaming, hitting, spitting on me etc. every time he was told no. Most of the time he was being told no for a very dangerous or inappropriate behavior (hurting an animal on purpose, running into the street, attempting to turn the stove on or grab a lighter.)
Sometimes removing a child from a situation in which they cannot behave and ignoring the tantrum that follows is the only way to get your point across that the behavior will not be tolerated. Especially after the child has been warned to stop the behavior repeatedly and still chooses to continue. It is very difficult to reason with a child who is having a complete meltdown. And then to have your decision questioned by a stranger would be enough to annoy anyone in an already hectic situation.
I agree she shouldn't have been screaming in foul language in front of the child. However, her pushing a stroller with a child crying and having a tantrum in it is not abuse in my opinion. How do you know she wasn't on the phone with the child's parents? How is it your business to decide when an employee (not employed by you) can make a phone call? I don't blame the nanny for being annoyed.
I really don't think it was OP's business. I pick up the little boy I take care of from his mother's work in the afternoon and for the past month he has been going through a phase where he screams his head off for twenty minutes. There is not a thing I can do about it. I put him in his stroller and walk him to the park. After twenty minutes he is fine and back to being his happy go lucky self. I sometimes get dirty looks from people, but really I can't do anything for the child (I have tried everything) and at that age kids can cry it out. While the nanny's language was inappropriate, OP really had no business saying anything and I would have been ticked off had I been in the nanny's shoes.
thank you for the sighting OP - there are nannies on this site that flame the OPs - just ignore that and update us if you can get a pic or find out more information.
Thank you for being brave and confronting the horrible nanny - her reaction shows she knows she is wrong and just does not care.
For all you know, the kid did something bad and was being punished or put in time out and that is why the nanny was ignoring her. Ever hear of a two year old ahving a fit for no darn reason?? maybe the kid saw another kid having an ice cream andd she isn't allowed ice cream and the nanny said no, so the kid decided to scream and pitch a fit. I would just ignore it also! Unless you saw the child being beaten, you have no way of knowing why the child was screaming and there could be a good reason for the nanny to ignore her. I have done the same with my kids and I would be LIVID if someone came up to me and told me what to do. Unless you see actual abuse or know why the kid was screaming, MYOB!!
Are you people serious?! Here we go again, protecting the bad nanny! You weren't there, OP was!
Anonymous 1,
"How do we know the nanny wasn't on the phone with the parents?"
Do you know how dumb you sound?
ANSWER: because she was screaming and cussing at the OP! Do you really think for one second she was on the phone with MB and acting like that? Come on now, lol.
Oh, I agree, the foul language was uncalled for, but, again, we don't know how you approached her! And, I'm not so sure I wouldn't let a few curses fly here and there if some stranger approached me the way you did.
We need to remember, the most important thing here is for the Parents to be notified of what OP witnessed as being inappropriate. It is up to the Parents what they decide to do with this information.
Thank you for the Sighting, OP.
I think approaching a nanny who's charge is crying for a reason that you do not know is inappropriate. The only relevant portion of this siting is the swearing, which one should never do in front of a child.
That being said, if someone approached me about my charge crying when they don't know the situation (she had been crying for a long time? How do you know this? Is there an exact science you are using or are you a mind reader?) I would be pissed off too. I would not swear, though.
Just my two cents.
Yesterday I was at the zoo and witnessed a very similar scene with a little girl about 2 1/2- 3 years old. She was sitting on the curb screaming and crying and across the sidewalk was her mother with another child, sitting on bench while talking on her cell phone. I made eye contact with her and she nodded her head and mouthed 'yep..' (that's my kid..)
Whether this had been a mother and child or nanny and child, I still would have felt bad for them because I have DEFINITELY been there!
However, I don't see anything wrong with this posting. It's all about context---if that child's parents had already had their doubts about this nanny, maybe this will offer some clarification. If they know their child frequently has tantrums in public, then maybe they will give her a raise. It's the decision of the parents who read this site on how to use the information from this sighting.
Um OP. You were way out of line. If someone walked up to me and demanded I get off the phone to tend to a crying child I would have bitched slapped them! This child could have been crying because she had a bad day and the nanny may have been walking her home, just happening to chat on her cell.
I call this nosey OP sighting.
I have a problem with what the nanny asked.."Do you want to watch this child?"...I think all the haters on here should reconsider what they said.
I'm going to try to track down an article I read years ago that was suggested by a veteran nanny. It discussed how to calmly intervene in a questionable/abusive situation when an adult was being cruel or nasty to a child in their care.
The one point I do remember is that confrontation was absolutely to be avoided. Why? Because once you say your righteous piece and walk off, who is left behind with the even more pissed off adult? The same child you were bravely "defending", and that child has to be with that pissed off adult for who knows how many more hours.
So, OP, while I think you were right to take note of the questionable behavior and report it here, I don't think confronting the "nanny" was a good choice on any level. Wasn't it just last week that a sighting was reported in which the OP confronted the "nanny" and was physically attacked?
Too weird about this sighting. We saw the same thing in a different state last week. This child had been crying so hard and so long the sweat was runing off her face and finally she threw up. The person who was with this child never looked at her and walked away to another bench at the park to chat on her phone. Someone had called the police and a squad car pulled up and this nanny? got up very fast and started to attend to the child . The police officer got the parents phone number and took statements from the other people in the park. The officer picked the child up and wiped her face off with a damp wet cloth and this kid was limp. I heard there was a report made for abuse and neglect. We had to leave so I have no idea how this turned out but the point here is that someone did something and called the police and let them handle it instead of confronting this woman and taking the chance of getting bitched slapped from some classless person that calls herself a nanny. I wouldn't want a nanny that thinks bitch slapping someone while watching my child is ok.I also don't want some vulgar thing with a mouth like a toilet watching my child either. AND definately do not want someone who would let my child scream for 15 to 20 minutes without trying to comfort the child, or letting a child break out in a sweat and puke from a tantrum.Kids have tantrums because they are unable to find words to tell you what is wrong,it is not always because they are spolied or little brats.It is everyones business to speak up if they think a tot is being abused or ignored neglected in any way. This is what caring people do they protect children who cannot protect themselves.
OP next time call the cops . Maybe if people got the police involved there would be less of this kind of nonsense going on and less people sticking up for neglectful nannies /parents.
well said downtoearth
I have one BIG question that makes all of the other comments a mute point: HOW does Marypoppinpills KNOW that the woman was a nanny and not the mother or relative of this child???? That more than anything could be the reason for the woman's anger. Frankly MPP's physical description of the nanny and child even sans an accent points to them being any possibility of Dominican, Puerto Rican or just plain old African American with a variety of different mixtures to their background. In no part of their exchange did the woman actually identify herself as the nanny. MPP just assumed based upon her own ignorance and faintly racist mindset.
Allow me to explain in terms that MPP can understand: Among people of color, especially those in the Americas--they can have offspring and family members of EVERY shade. These shades can range from the lightest vanilla or euro "white" to the darkest ebony all in the SAME family. This is one of the reasons that I have a BIG problem with these nanny sightings where the person sighting can only make the assumption based upon perceived different races. PUH-leeeeeze people: it's 2011! We know about genetics now(out of the hundreds of markers for genetic traits, only about 20 deal with external phenotype or the characteristics that have historically been associated with race), there's simply no excuse for such ignorance.
I know, 100% without a doubt, that if my charge were ever having a tantrum about something, and then a stranger came up to me and started yelling me and berating me for the way I was handling it, my charge would be SO scared. She, like many children, does not like strangers. If someone just says hi to her on the street her first reaction is to grab my hand and then hide behind me. So when you take an already agitated and upset child combined with a random stranger on the street coming up to you both and adding in her two cents about a situation that she has NO context for, all you wind up with is a frustrated and annoyed nanny, a scared and hysterical child and a smug stranger who feels like shes done her good deed for the day when actually she has made the situation 10x worse.
why on earth is everyone basically defending this nanny? I understand you think it was out of line for the OP to walk up and confront the lady but let us not forget these facts...
saying the F word over and over? Um, let me see if that was my child I would be absolutely FURIOUS that my nanny used those words around my child or out in public at all.
And let us not forget, "If you are so worried about her why don't you take care of her then?" Um, totally inappropriate! She may have been annoyed the child was crying but maybe she could have been trying to do something instead of just talking away on her cell phone. I understand children have to and should be ignored sometimes but if they are causing a scene in public like that something should be done.
Now it has been mentioned that maybe that was her child. Well, maybe it was and maybe it wasn't. If the OP thought it was the nanny then it was worth mentioning, if it is the mother of the child then so be it.
I am sick and tired of seeing people basically abused on this site because they are sending in sightings they think justified. If the parents don't think so then they can choose to ignore it, really as simple as that. This is probably why there are not a lot of nannying sightings on here anymore because people are too scared of being attacked.
I agree with "DE" that no one will ever know for sure if someone is a Nanny or not. I was adopted by a Caucasian family as an infant and I am Asian. People used to stare at us all the time and the questions by rude strangers was endless. So it is possible, esp. in this day and age, that someone could have adopted a child as well as be that child's Nanny.
When I first start working for families, the children usually scream once the parents leave and I am alone with them. Usually we have a transition period where the parents leave me with the child for an hour or so here and there, then come back. During this time, the child is usually screaming at the top of his or her lungs and I used to shudder at what others must think of me. They must think I am abusing this poor child and I even wonder if I will have CPS called on me. Yikes!
The reason I think this is a "Bad Nanny Sighting" is because the adult in charge screamed to OP if she wanted to watch the child. That is a HUGE red flag to me and I think this child is not being adequately cared for. I would never in a million years ask a complete stranger that.
TheDelineator,
You must be new... however, that is no excuse for being rude.
I am not the Author of this sighting... I am the moderator of the Blog and I Publish the Submissions of other people.
Everyone here that is a regular Reader knows that I have zero tolerance for racism.
delineator was not only rude but very ignorant
so often i read the nannies comments and think how good they are with children and dedicated but on this thread - some of the nannies remind me of a stephen king novel -- *shiver*
My charge is 2 and cries for everything under the sun. He doesn't want to buckle up in the car seat, he screams. He doesn't want me to wipe his snotty nose, he screams. He hits me and I tell him no, he screams, he throws his toys I tell him no he screams. He hits the dog I tell him no he screams.
Sometimes this stuff happens in public and when it does I ignore it because I know him, if I was to coddle him he will not only keep up the screaming he's learned that if he keeps up the screaming he gets attention.
If someone came up to us when he was throwing a temper tantrum and proceeded to tell me I was in the wrong I'd be pretty pissed as well, granted I wouldn't curse but I'd be beyond ticked and I'd tell the person to mind their own business.
I don't consider this a good sighting because there isn't enough information, the op has no idea why the kid was crying and for how long. This happened in NY, was it hot outside? Could the child have been playing at a playground and her cheeks were red from that and then the nanny told her they had to leave and put her in the stroller where she proceeded to scream? And the nanny, going on what most people agree is a the appropriate thing and ignore the temper tantrum?
I think the only thing one can say here is to say thank you OP, and I hope that the parents will see this. Now, I also think that it is never a good idea to confront a caregiver in a situation like this. If you feel you absolutely have to say something, try to engage them in a positive way, to give them some empathy, even if you are convinced that you are witnessing the worst nanny in the whole world. You will get more useful information in this way, and you may able to defuse the tension - tantrums are hard on everyone.
Many children tantrum, and often the caretaker tries to soothe them. I think that teaching children how to calm themselves down goes a long way towards frustration tolerance as they grow older, as opposed to ignoring them. Therefore, just because kid's tantrum, does not mean that it is OK for any caretaker to not at least attempt to calm them. Ignoring can be effective, but it certainly "depends". People have intervened when my kid was tantruming, and I have not gotten offended; tell them I have it under control, tell them he is being "taught a lesson" whatever. In my opinion, no caretaker should curse in front of their child, threaten anyone or suggest that they put that child in a stranger's care. The OP might not have had to intervene, but the caretaker's response certainly implies there were issues to begin with and the OP's instincts were right. Now, if the parents see, it is up to them how to proceed.
I'm with Umass on this one. Everyone involved handled this situation inappropriately and I really hope that baby didn't have to pay for it when they got home. OP is nosy and if she truly was concerned for the child's well-being, she could have called the cops, like DowntoEarth suggested. I think she wanted a gripe more than anything. But the nanny was totally out of line with her reaction and I hope the parents read this and fire her.
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