I nanny for a wonderful family in which mom is able to work from home. The baby is one year old. I have a question; moms office is across the hall from babys room. They are first time parents. When I try to put baby down for a nap mom comes in, gets baby all excited, and it is really hard for her to go. It is not everyday. I have told mom, maybe baby and mommy can have special time together after nap. Any other suggestions? All advice appreciated.
Thursday
First Time Mommy
I nanny for a wonderful family in which mom is able to work from home. The baby is one year old. I have a question; moms office is across the hall from babys room. They are first time parents. When I try to put baby down for a nap mom comes in, gets baby all excited, and it is really hard for her to go. It is not everyday. I have told mom, maybe baby and mommy can have special time together after nap. Any other suggestions? All advice appreciated.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
This is a hard one. I work for a Mom who is home one day out of the week, and she does the same thing! I have tried taking the one year old to the Mom to say goodnight, and then take her into her room and settle her for 5 minutes before I put her in her crib BUT Mom always comes in just before I lay her down! She then screams for Mommy as we walk out the door........I don't know! Does it make Mommy feel good when baby cry's for her?? Maybe Mom see's baby doing so well with Nanny and want's to make sure Baby still loves her?? Her Mom always says, "Awwwww! I just hate it when she cry's for me!" Hmmmmmmm.....does she REALLY hate it?? If that's truely the case, then don't come in and make her cry!
It's good that you suggested some Mommy time AFTER nap, but in the end you really can't do much to stop her from coming in. Good luck! Let me know if you find something that works!
I like the direct approach. Tell her that when she comes into the room it upsets the baby. Tell her that's why you suggest that she spend time with baby after nap. Ask her when she wants you to bring baby to her - before nap or after- but get the point across that it is upsetting to the child (translation disruptive) when she comes into the room.
I have a suggestion. Scroll down a little and read my "A Day in the Life" by Nanny Laura. This specifically is written for any nannies who work for parents who are in the home.
That is my advice for now. Let me know what you think.
This is a tough situation. Could you ask her ahead of time if she would like to put the baby down today, and if she says yes, take the baby to her at nap time, and leave it to her. It sounds like she craves time with the baby, and maybe she feels awkward about stepping in when you are there.
This is my advice and you can take it or leave it, but trust me...you should take it.
Working for parents who work from home or who just stay home and need "help" are recipes for disaster. Period. Sure, there will be some people who will say their situation worked out well and more power to them. In any stereotypical comment such as mine, there will ALWAYS BE EXCEPTIONS TO THE RULE. But in general, these are disastrous as a natural disaster.
Don't try to control this. It's a first time mom. Just roll with it. The baby will suffer a bit with the sleep deprivation, but mom is bonding with the baby. If you are not the kind of nanny who can be super flexible this assignment is going to be hard. To you, she is encroaching on your professional space. For her, she is just checking on the baby. Let it go, and remember to laugh at the situation a bit, to help you get through this time, and take care of yourself. The baby won't be so young forever.
I agree with JMTCJN that working alongside a stay-at-home parent is a tough job. You feel as if you are being constantly monitored which you probably are and usually the parents have interference issues with whoever is caring for their child. I think it is only natural as a parent that you would have that "third eye" watching them, but the parents need to give the nanny 100% autonomy if they want this childcare set-up to succeed. In many childcare ads which are placed by parents who will be at home, I notice they stipulate "Looking for a nanny who will be comfortable with a parent in the home..." because even they acknowledge these types of situations can be dicey and are not for everyone. They are not for me since I like to have complete autonomy while on duty. I hate working for someone else when they will be monitoring me the whole day. It's nerve-wracking and annoying.
Stacey...
I agree with you that MB is a first time mom and is bonding with her baby, but there still should be some consideration for the nanny and not interference with her doing her job. MB is not coming into the room and putting baby to sleep. She is coming in when baby is calm and ready to go to sleep, getting baby frenzied when she leaves the room and leaving nanny wth frenzied baby. It's ridiculous and unnecessary.
If MB really wants to see baby off before naptime, she and nanny need to discuss a way to do that which does not undermine the nanny.
I am surprised that many nanny positions where one or more parents work in the home are advertised as "Mother's Helper" and offer a smaller salary. I personally think nannies who work alongside another parent should make more money. Why? It is stressful to be working under someone else as it is, but to do so in such an intimate and personal setting such as someone else's home is nerve-wrecking. Also, one must deal with a child who knows their parent is close-by and acts out so they can get the other parent's attention. The nanny in this situation has a more difficult job since she must not only deal with a child who is acting differently since knowing Mom or Dad is nearby, but she also has the tough (!) responsibility of keeping the child quiet and away from the parent who is usually near by in a home office, trying to get some work done.
I take care of two children whose parents have been working outside of the home for the past year and a half. Over the past two months, the mom has been home and let me tell you - it is far more difficult!!!
I agree, working when one parent is home is nerve wrecking, especially when their office is nearby. The kids can yell for that other parent as often as they want the attention, and when they don't get what they want, they will yell until it bothers parent enough to undermine me as the sitter and agree the child can have whatever they want (including desserts before eating lunch). The interference is nerve wrecking.
Then again, the complete opposite is terrible too. A friend of mine used to babysit for a first time mom while the mom laid around watching tv in full view of the child, and when her kid go too close to her she would shoo him away.
Post a Comment