Dear MB and DB,I'm not the best nanny for your kids anymore. I used to be. I showed up happy and ready to spend time with your kids. I taught them to read, do multiplication tables, and not eat like wild animals. We did activities, went on adventures, and built entire mini towns in the playroom. I still teach them things. I still love them. But 12 hours is a long day. I get your groceries, do your laundry and dishes, and clean your kitchen. I wake your kids, dress them, and make lunch and breakfast for them before you've showered. Your kitchen is clean and stocked before you arrive at work. Your laundry is done before you eat lunch. I pick up your kids and we talk about their day. We fend off bullies, bake treats, and reach new milestones before your commute home. They've had a dinner and a bath before you arrive home. Your children are fed, clean and sufficiently snuggled before you arrive, which is great because they'll be putting themselves to bed, alone, whenever they feel like it. Because you need downtime. That's cool. I'm just going to do my grocery shopping, laundry, and dishes in the 2.5 hours I have before I have to go to bed because I have to be back before dawn. Your kids love me.
MB, I follow all of your rules for them, which is especially great when I tell them no, and then you say yes 2 seconds later. I really love it when you ask me, the world's dumbest and most unreasonable Nanny, why I did not let your undernourished child have a lollipop in the middle of dinner. Silly stupid Nanny. So mean! Let's pause here to remember that I didn't evacuate during a hurricane to take care of your kids because you wanted to work from home. In the middle of a storm. And when the power went out (shocker!) you read a book behind a closed door while I entertained the kids without benefit of TV and lights. Sorry we built a fort in the playroom you never go in. I realize that was far messier than you're comfortable with, even if it was cleaned up spotless in an hour.
DB, I've never called in sick because I'm afraid the kids would starve because you can hardly work the faucet in the kitchen, let alone the toaster. You can't even change them out of PJs. And are those sick days paid? Who knows? But I totally see your point, that I'm a failure as a Nanny because your 4 year old doesn't know his 12 times tables.
So this is me, totally burnt out. I worked 60 and 70 hour weeks. I've done all you've asked, and I've endured MB's fascination with my diet ("You're eating that? What is it? You like that? I don't know, should I be concerned my Nanny is eating that?" Let's solve the mystery. It's chicken nuggets, and if you were swamped with chores and caring for children, you might eat dinosaur shaped meat, too. And if you're concerned about the hazard of my eating them, you watch the kiddies while I whip up a salad, savvy? Or better yet, just tell me what to eat. Because I cant even go to the bathroom without someone looking for me).
I've been there for your kids and my fridge is covered in drawings. But I'm moving on. Your kids are fantastic, you should get to know them sometime. Pencil in a chocolate bunny dinner. I'm out!
Hearts and stars,
Nanny
Dear Nannies of the Internet,
I'm out of this house and this profession, because I don't know how you saints put up with it. I'm a mortal who finds the task of being upbeat and creative for 12 hours a day 5 days a week impossible. I look up to you, digital friends.
14 comments:
I loved how you wrote this, OP. How sad you have to leave because the parents aren't treating you fairly. Once again, the child always suffers. I wish these parents would understand what they are doing will hurt their kids in the long run. They need a big slap of reality across their face!
Anonymous said...
I was a nanny for 5 years, went thru 5 families and 2 divorces and a single mom who lied to me when i first started. working 80 hrs a week 5 days week with the last family. I was so stressed out and the MB was completely dumbfounded when i put in my 2 weeks notice. I ended my nanny career 4 years ago and am soo glad I did. I just couldn't take being in the middle of the parents arguments and watching the kids be around the yelling. it's sad when the children hurt because the parents are wearing down the nanny.
A good job won't burn you out OP, but working the way your post indicates, with constant belittling and horrid hours will.
Nannies aren't saints, just people who love working with kids. But any one of us would have cracked under the sort of pressure you describe.
Oh My God Girl! We've all been there! The parents who have kids and use them as accessories, they trot them out for parties or Christmas. They take the credit for how bright they are and how well mannered they are! When we all know how's responsible for that. Please if you wanted a maid, advertise for a maid. Doing a weekends dishes that are all in the sink and on the counter should not be your nannies first priority. Your offspring should be! Some parents give more credit to the guy who pumps their gas than the person in charge of your kids! You go now an find a more hands on family that could care less about the egg hardening on the plate, but are very interested in listening to their kids count off their 12 tables!! Good Luck!
someone like this OP that is burned out of the long hours might want to consider children's entertainment/ characters - you make more per hour and are just with the kids a couple of hours
no benefits though
OP,
You sound like a great nanny. It would be a shame for you to leave the field because of these horrid parents. There are some wonderful families out there who would appreciate all that you do and treat you well. I hope you reconsider. Good luck.
Good Luck to you.
I am so sorry to hear about this. I can't believe you worked 12-hr days as both the nanny and the maid! Any human being would be burned out by this.
I hope you find a better job someday. You probably need a few months of rest to fully recover from the nanny profession before you dive right back in. Hopefully you made enough to save a few bucks to live off of while you regain your sanity.
This is so great. The saying "yes" right after I say "no" SLAYS me every time.
I can't believe ANY PARENT on this planet would hire a nanny and make her work twelve-hr days. What morons!! Nannies are human beings, not robots and will most definitely be burned out watching a child for such a lengthy period of time. Their poor child will most likely suffer the negative effects of being cared for by a burned out nanny. :(
I think the parents are also morons for delegating household tasks to you as well OP. Shame on them. A better solution would have been to have two separate nannies who work 6-8 hrs, depending.
I feel exhausted just reading your post OP!!!!~
If I hated my nanny job, I don't see any reason for just getting up and leaving. Why would any parent want their child in the company of someone who hates her work? Not me. If a nanny is unhappy, she should be able to walk off the job as soon as she wants. This giving notice thing never works out since both sides will be pretty much miserable for the remaining time left...which will affect the child big time.
I have left about three nanny positions in my past. I felt under paid, under appreciated and used, used, used!! I felt like I was being taken for granted and I hated waking up each day for work!! I loved my charges...it usually was due to the parents, NOT the kids that I left!!! Parents always were angry that I left them in a lurch w/out any childcare options, but I always reasoned that I would have shown up had the pay been decent and if I had been respected as both a nanny and a human being. Parents take heed, if you do not treat your nanny well, do not expect for her to show up every day, cheerful and eager to roll up her sleeves and get to work. Sadly, it will be your children who will suffer the most here.
Sorry to hear about that Anon. Have you tried using the two websites sittercity.com and Care.com? I have found better families via these websites and it is always free for a Nanny to create a profile on here. Using CL is alright, but truth be told, I have yet to find one decent family via this website. I would also recommend going to a Nanny agency, but you must be screened first.
I am always angry when I hear how other Nannies are being taken advantage of. I have been in your shoes many times and it is just unfair how the one person who loves a child and cares for them while the parent cannot, is treated worse than the family pet. GGrrr....
Oh my sweet goodness.... All of that is EXACTLY what's happening here at my job and how i feel. The tasks they have me do have gone futher bc they dont allow me to leave their yard and have swapping out their seasonal wardrobe, filling their big inflatable pool daily and wiping it out, doing their linens, reorganizing their pantry weekly, putting away groceries, cooking all 3 meals, bathes, 4 days of laundry a week, mixing plaster, teaching, and when their children bring home intense illness from preschool, i get sick, not them, and i have to come anyway bc they cant be inconvenienced and god forbid i take a vacation. I have done so many creative crafts and special things and teach them new things everyday, including how to be gracious and thankful. I am the only one providing them with structure and boundaries.
Recently, the parents asked me to revoke my vacation (im going out of state for a week to volunteer but am also desperately seeking an escape) because "we dont want to take 5 days off of work to spend home with our kids, that's not a vacation."
I am working 60 hr weeks, havent seen my bf, my own laundry is piling up and i have no down time.
Its these kinds of parents who take advantage of a willing helper and degrade them into the ground, that make this job so horrible.
I have nothing leftto give their kids, my other job, my family, my bf, or myself.
Yup!!!!! Im here now. Truth be told, I like being busy, active, fast and efficient. I like cleaning and organizing. I love being involved in every facet of my charges lives - I know all their favorite things, their friends, and simply their life is mine. I just wanna be friggin appreciated! Understood! Respected! I hope to a find a family that deserves me. soon.
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