I have been working with children for the past 10 years first as a daycare teacher and for the last 4 years as a nanny. I personally am very happy with my job. I love the children and the parents I work for and I feel respected by them. My only issue with my job is the reaction I get from other people when I tell them what I do. I feel like I am telling them I'm a prostitute. I get this look of pity and disappointment, like why is that what you are doing and immediately I feel like they think less of me. It might be my own paranoia I'm not sure, I would love to get opinions from other nannies about how they feel about this, if they have experienced that same reaction and how they deal with it. Or if I'm just being extra sensitive about it. Any advice would help I don't have any nanny friends I can talk to about this. Thanks so much. 
Sunday
Does Being a Nanny Make you Feel Like a Prostitute?
I have been working with children for the past 10 years first as a daycare teacher and for the last 4 years as a nanny. I personally am very happy with my job. I love the children and the parents I work for and I feel respected by them. My only issue with my job is the reaction I get from other people when I tell them what I do. I feel like I am telling them I'm a prostitute. I get this look of pity and disappointment, like why is that what you are doing and immediately I feel like they think less of me. It might be my own paranoia I'm not sure, I would love to get opinions from other nannies about how they feel about this, if they have experienced that same reaction and how they deal with it. Or if I'm just being extra sensitive about it. Any advice would help I don't have any nanny friends I can talk to about this. Thanks so much. 
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I can sympathize with you, OP. I have also felt the same when revealing what I do. I think in other places like Britain, being a Nanny or Governess is held in much higher regard but here in the States, not so much. Hopefully that can change as nannies are given more consideration, but it will take time. Look how long it took for us to show the difference between a being a nanny and a babysitter!
i was a waitress 20 years ( $30 per hour and up) and now work in children's entertainment ( clown/ fairy godmother $150 per hour and up )
get the same reaction - hooker, as long as you are happy and pg rated - go for it - they may actually be jealous ;0)
I've been a career nanny for about 15 years and I love what I do but I totally can identify with what the OP is saying...I don't like the reactions of others when I tell them what I do.I usually just say "I work with children" and leave it at that.
They think it is a cop out and you are lazy and dont go to school. this is how i felt, i didnt mind taking care of babies but theses parents are awful
I get the same reaction OP. When I state I am so and so's Nanny, people automatically look down on me. A few months ago, I was working and a Real Estate Agent was showing a home where I was caring for a little girl. One of the prospective buyers smiled at me and inquired if I resided in the house that was for sale. I shook my head and stated that I didn't live there, I only worked there. I said I was the Nanny of the child who did live there. Well, the man motioned for me to come closer to him and he whispered in my ear, "Hey don't let anyone hear you say that. You are much too pretty to be working as a Nanny. Why don't you say you are an Au Pair instead, huh?" I told him I was not an Au Pair since I am a U.S. Citizen and do not live-in and he advised me to use that term from now on as opposed to "Nanny" so people would give me more respect. The nerve!!
Anyway, many people do not view a Nanny's job as anything too hard. I think people still regard caring for a child as something "anyone" can do. Since there is no college degree that must be earned in order to do such work, people do not consider it a "real job." Many other people think that anything an illegal immigrant can do is not a "real job."
I take pride in my job. I personally believe it takes a very special person to work as a Nanny and be good at what she does. Not everyone is cut out to do this type of work, and I feel very blessed that I am. One must be compassionate, responsible, loving and patient. Tolerance is another important Nanny virtue and believe me, many people do not posses this trait.
I think there should be a NATIONAL NANNY DAY. Your thoughts??......
Interesting, and although i didn't go to college to become a nanny, i did take my Early Childhood Education while there, so why does everyone assume you would be uneducated... its pathetic..
I think in part nannies can bring this on ourselves. We work in an industry that doesn't garner a ton of respect and that is because so many are willing to work as slaves for next to no money, undercutting the rest of us. In my area $10 an hour is the typical starting wage. starting in Oct. this will also be min. wage in my area. Some nannies for whatever reason do not value themselves and work for as low as $6/hr. making it difficult for the rest of us to earn a decent income.
If Nannies as a whole started demanding decent wages, fair contracts and stood up for ourselves in general perhaps there would be more respect given to our profession of choice.
JMTCJN, National Nanny Recognition Week is celebrated in late Spetember, and has been since the late 1990's! This year, NNRW is September 18th - 24th. (http://www.nnrw.blogspot.com/)
OP, I finished college while working FT as a nanny, and one thing I heard a LOT was, "So, what are you going to do when you graduate?" I'd respond that I planned to keep working as a nanny, and then people would give me the side-eye and ask, "Aren't you going to get a better job?"
My usual response was "What could be better than helping to raise terrific kids? Plus, I play for a living!"
But yes, nannies (and chilcare workers in general) are not respected. Usually people who couldn't do our jobs for more than a day are the worst offenders.
I started babysitting when I was 11 years old and always loved working with children. I later obtained a degree in Early Childhood Education and worked for 5 years as a preschool teacher. When I left teaching in the early 90's, I was so frustrated at the low pay that I vowed to never work in the field again.
After 10 years of cleaning houses, earning $15 - $20/hr, a friend recommend that I consider becoming a nanny. After stating the reasons I would not work with children again, I looked into it and signed up with a nanny agency. 8 years later I am still working as a nanny and love what I do.
A couple of the parents of children I have worked for have stated, "You're so smart, why don't you do something else?" Ironically, if I were working in a daycare center, earning a portion of what I earn as a nanny, that would be more "acceptable". I point out to them that in essence they have a teacher in their home who is teaching, loving and nurturing their children all day long. Since I know that young children learn through play, I can tell them exactly what I'm teaching through each activity. Their children are getting the best foundation for school and life. And, they can see by the way their children and I respond to one another that I love them and they love me.
Because I am also a baby nurse and postpartum doula, I take the time to inform parents of the difference, as well as the difference between being a babysitter and a nanny. I try to take every opportunity to inform people of the real deal as it pertains to our field.
And, I leave those who argue that it is not a relevant field with a question: Imagine if every person who works with children under 5 years old would leave and do something else. What would that do to our society, considering how many women with children in that age group work outside the home? It's up to us to conduct ourselves in a professional manner. Then, others will begin to see us in a more professional way.
I challenge everyone who works as a nanny to not get offended when ignorant people respond in ignorant ways to our profession. Instead, inform them, stop settling for less than you deserve, and don't do any task that is not a nanny task. All advice that's giving daily on this site.
Here's my advice: why do you give a flying f*** about what people think about your job as long as you're happy?
Take it to the bank, sister. You will always run into people who are judgmental and condescending. If they look down on you for caring for children, there is something wrong with them.
Sadly, in this country children are not valued, and individual care of children is especially not valued.Therefore, if they think you are intelligent/attractive/fill in the blank with your apparent virtue, you should consider it beneath you to care for children. It's ridiculous.
I usually get the opposite response when I tell people I'm a nanny but when I worked in a daycare and I told people I was a teachers assitant that's when I used to get the pathetic looks. One parent actually told my boss that "we don't have real jobs" I paid taxes like it was a real job.
I get mixed reactions, but there are never any middle-ground ones. It's either akin to what's been outlined here ("Oh... so what do you want to do for a job though? Like a real job."), or the complete opposite of, "WHAT?! I didn't know people had NANNIES here! That is SO COOL."
The latter, I attribute to things like The Nanny Diaries glorifying the position of a nanny. ;)
How true what you just stated Northern Nanny. I couldn't agree more. Many nannies allow themselves to be underpaid and over worked and it only perpetuates the belief that childcare is not a legitimate profession. I find in many of my jobs that the families just assume because I am a Nanny, that I am also willing to help out w/household chores. In their pathetic minds, doing just "babysitting" is not enough..I also should wash the dishes, do the laundry, take out the trash and sweep the floors. I even have had a few families ask me to run to the market and pick up a loaf of bread and a jar of peanut butter since they forgot to!! I always have to tell people I am a Nanny and I only do household duties that are child-related. If you forgot to pick up a loaf of bread today on your way home, tough. I am not a maid, errand runner nor a personal asst. If you want me to be a chauffeur, we can discuss that, but childcare is a job in itself so please stop trying to add additional duties to an already tough job. My responsibility is to make sure your children are fed nutritious meals and snacks, that their diapers are clean/dry, that their faces are clean and their clothes are not soiled. I also am responsible for keeping your children safe, entertained and educated. Do not ask me to do the dinner dishes from last night or fold you and your hubby's clothes. That is NOT my job.
Well said L.C. I find myself in the same boat as well. Many of my previous bosses expected me to do more than childcare and when I refused, they exclaimed, "Oh but a TRUE nanny does this and that, etc." Well, after that, whenever I interviewed with families, I specifically stated that I will wash any dishes used during my stay as well as pick up any toys the children play with. I will not do laundry duties or vacuum unless I get paid for it. If I have to run to the grocery store for diapers or baby formula, I expect mileage compensation along w/a higher pay rate. As L.C. said, childcare is in itself a job duty which many parents tend to marginalize.
If I was sleeping with my boss, and getting things out of that affair, I'd probably feel like a prostitute.
Otherwise, no.
I cannot tell you how many times my own father has asked me "So when are you going to get a real job like your sisters?" I have two sisters who work in public school, so I guess that makes them more "real", even though they despise their jobs and I love childcare.
I've been thinking about ignorance a lot lately (It was prompted originally by the "birther" issue.) and not too long ago I asked my husband "What if we responded to every single ignorant remark with asking them Why?" He said "You'd get a whole lot of blank looks and no real answers." Ignorant people are exactly that. They don't know why they think the way they do, so why bother even trying to figure them out?
Tell people you are a governorness.
Village- Isn't there a difference between a governess and a nanny?
Geez apparently I'm the exception but when I was a nanny I was so freaking bored out of my skull that I would have LOVED the option of going grocery shopping, running errands, picking up dry cleaning, cooking, doing laundry, ANYTHING to make the time pass faster. I am so glad I have been able to move on.
I always hesitate when people ask me what my job is! I went to college, got a Bachelor's Degree, I was even in a sorority, but when they hear I work at a daycare, they're always like "..oh". My parents tell everyone I'm a teacher and leave it at that. It's always awkward when I meet some of those people and they ask what grade I teach. I say "toddlers" and they look confused for a second before saying "oh. that's nice". I'm sorry I love my job and that I'm "wasting my degree"
Also, when I first got this job, everyone thought it was just temporary while I looked for a "real" job. If I didn't want to do this, why would I have even applied?
I think a governess is someone who is a Nanny/Teacher. Kind of like Maria in "The Sound of Music." LOL.
Ms. V...I am sorry that you were bored out of your skull working as a Nanny. Perhaps you would have been happier working as a Maid/Personal Asst. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum. I personally prefer childcare over domestic duties. :)
JMTCJN, I have often wondered if all the nannies in this country had a "sick out" day, how much chaos that would cause!
Ms. V...I am sorry that you were bored out of your skull working as a Nanny. Perhaps you would have been happier working as a Maid/Personal Asst. I am on the opposite side of the spectrum. I personally prefer childcare over domestic duties. :)I LOVE being with children and thought a nanny job would be the perfect transition into the work world after being a SAHM for 10 years. But nine hours a day being expected to do ONLY childcare was a fast track to total burnout. No TV was permitted, outings were almost non-existent due to the younger child's severe disabilities, the elder child was too old for naps, the father was a WAHD, the hours just crawled by. No matter how much I love children, I cannot spend 45 hours a week doing exclusively children's activities. I would have been ecstatic to be able to mix domestic chores or personal assistant duties in with my child care duties, but alas the parents wanted the children to have my undivided attention 100% of the time. As much as I loved them, I finally had to leave and have never looked back. I am in a completely different career now and love it. I still have a relationship with the children but it is more like a grandma thing where I take elder one on outings once in a while and I visit with the younger one to read books, play, etc. I just think it's ironic to see nannies so bitter about being expected to do a variety of things when that is exactly what I wished had been expected of me! :)
When I tell people I am a nanny, they say "That must be fun!"
I cannot for the life of me figure out why parents expect nannies to give undivided attention to their children. Does that not create children who never figure out how to ammuse themselves? I mean, an art project in the morning, talking through lunch, an afternoon walk or park outing and a few stories each day seems like plenty of attention. Stay at home parents do not focus 100% of their attention on their kids, nor do most working parents when they come home at the end of the day. Even an infant should be able to spend a little down time alone.
Just because a nanny gets paid does not mean she should dote on her charges and be in their faces for her entire shift. Kids should play independently or with siblings without much interference from the nanny. It teaches good social skills and makes the child more self sufficient. And, that's what the whole child rearing thing is all about... raising competant adults. Not adults who cannot function unless they are constantly ammused and praised.
I tell people that I am self-employed, which is true. I choose for whom I nanny and agree on a contract. When I say that I nanny, I get mixed reactions all the time. Some people will look at me expectantly when I tell them I work as a nanny "and..." Oh yeah, I'm a cook, chauffer, tutor, personal assistant, entertainer, etc. When you are a nanny- you have to be one multi-skilled, talented individual. End of story.
Ms. V...I personally would not like to have additional chores assigned to me unless I was being paid a good hourly rate for it. I really hate going to the market and would hate it even more if I had to bring along an infant and/or toddler. I also hate housework so if I had to iron the father's uniform or pick up the dog poop, I would be so grossed out! I like being around children and all the fun that goes along. I do not need chores to distract me and make me happier.
From what I read, your job sounds pretty tough. A WAHD, no T.V. and no leaving the house. I do not blame you for wanting to leave...even to pick up Dad's prescription at the pharmacy. I am glad things are better for you now.
:)
My GOD, yes. I'm a nanny here in Germany and it's exactly the same thing! I've started saying "private English tutor" instead just to forestall the evasive, confused looks from Germans who don't understand why I am not somewhere doing an internship and completing undergraduate in six years, as they tend to do - why I have instead chosen to take my degree to their country and use it to get hired by a super high-profile family to teach their kids proper sentence structure. It's too hard to explain the awesome hours, super pay, great kids and fantastic house I hang out in all day, especially in German, so normally I just say "tutor" and leave it at that.
And PS - has anyone here had the "oh... a nanny..." response in a job interview? A post-nanny job interview in which they ask you what you did for the last six years, say? What is your response?
I cannot for the life of me figure out why parents expect nannies to give undivided attention to their children. Does that not create children who never figure out how to ammuse themselves?
christine, it was ridiculous. The parents barely gave the children the time of day when they (the parents) were home, and expected me to make up for this neglect by doing NOTHING ALL DAY except interact with the children. I can only spend so many hours a week reading Dr. Seuss and playing with playdough, Legos, blocks, trains, tinkertoys, etc., before my head explodes.
I love being out and about and would have happily run any errands they wanted me to with the elder child while the younger child napped but the dad -- even though he was a WAHD -- would not agree to me doing this; he did not want to run the risk that the baby would awaken and he would actually have to do some parenting.
I LOVE to cook but the parents were organic freaks and insisted that they and only they could prepare the proper meals for the family.
The dishwasher was strictly the dad's jurisdiction because only he was anal enough to know precisely how to load it and precisely where to put away the clean dishes.
Same with the laundry (and this was a cloth diaper family of course) -- only THEY could do it the "right" way in their front-loading energy-efficient green machines.
They had a housekeeper, so cleaning was never an issue.
Oh yeah, and not only was the father a WAHD, the mother would come home for lunch every day to breastfeed the baby (while glued to her iPod the entire time).
I could not take it and resigned after only 9 months.
I totally get what all of you feel... = /
MS. V: That sounds like the job from hell I agree, but being a nanny IS reading books, playing with play-doh, doing puzzles, making crafts, etc. If your head feels ready to explode, then being a nanny is not for you. I commend you on the fact that you recognized this and got out of that horrific job. I hope you are much happier now. The part about the mother breastfeeding while glued to her I-pod sounds like me back in 1989. I had to breastfeed my son every 1 1/2 hr when he was a newborn, and let me tell you, I always had a stack of CD's near-by to listen to as I breastfed. LOL.
Nannies I commend you and would never look down on your profession. You are raising kids that parents do not want to raise. Lets be honest, the people who hire you really don’t need to have dual incomes. If they lowered their lifestyles, one parent could stay home. Parents who have to work cannot afford nannies. I think you are doing honorable work and every time I meet a nanny at school or playgroup, I always say ‘hi’ and talk to them. You guys are doing the dirty work and should get paid for the effort you put in!
DJD, I see from the posts you've made that you are a big proponent of moms staying home after they have children. I have a few questions for you, and if you don't bother answering, I will be sure you are simply trolling.
Are you aware that many parents find working to be personally satisfying?
Have you considered that many working parents feel better able to be good parents when they also work?
Do you feel strongly that DADS should be willing to SAH if they earn less than their wives do, or should dads be the income generators, no exceptions?
What specific steps should a couple take to ensure they can survive on one income once they have a child/children? Should they sell their home and move into a smaller living space? Should they buy smaller cars, plan to skip vacations, become coupon clippers, not buy anything for themselves, or buy only second hand items for baby?
What if economizing in that manner makes the couple miserable, and leads to divorce? Are their children still better off because their parents sacrificed and had mom SAH?
And finally, are you aware that there is a political movement to abolish the IRS and establish a "Fair Tax" here in the US? Are you supporting this movement wholeheartedly since lowering taxes will allow more families to survive on one income?
People say, "oh your job must be easy"
I want to say," yeah wiping kids asses 50 plus hours a week is a blast"
People say,"oh, your just a nanny. My daughter has a nanny." with a look of pity.
I want to say," I hate you"
I make more than most teachers and I do it without the student loans. Please go to he'll and stop trying to make me feel bad about my job. I get this a lot and it drives me up the wall.
HAHA forgot to mention, when I was looking for insurance (because my job offers none), the Aflac insurance guy (knowing I worked at a daycare) said something about (I have no clue how this topic came up) how his daughter was my age and going to college and if I was planning on going to college .... I told him I was 22 and that I had already gone to college & was currently looking into grad school. I hated that guy. Way to assume things.
Since Boston is such a huge college city, if your a young nanny they just assume you are a college student working your way through school. They ask what college you attend and what your plans are for after. If you say your going to continue to nanny they give you a werid look.
I never get negative comments about being a nanny I just get ignored. Occasionally I get the dirty look from mothers who think I'm beneath them but that's their problem, they just wish they could afford me lol
The truth is many people view nannies as being "the help," kind of lower-class people working in the homes of upper-class people. My Nona always told me, "I'd rather scrub people's floors than take care of people's children!" Many people don't realize that there are lots of educated, dedicated nannies who put a lot of time, planning, and love into their jobs!
"I never get negative comments about being a nanny I just get ignored. Occasionally I get the dirty look from mothers who think I'm beneath them but that's their problem, they just wish they could afford me lol"
I totally agree with you, Bostonnanny!
So many times I've been ignored or looked weird just because I am a nanny. People really do think they are better than you just because ou are a nanny.
I think the issue here it's that a nanny job is a domestic job, just like a maid, housekeeper, etc. So people associate it with lower paying, no education, "bench nanny" type, plus I assume a lot of the girls here are American citizens, so I do believe people wonder what's an American girl doing taking care of kids, if she's born here. Because we all see the majority of nannies out there are immigrants.
So they may look you weird, OP, because they think you didn't "make it" and instead, chose a "lower paid" - in some cases it really is-, "unskilled" and "easy" job.
Parents themselves look weird at nannies at the park. They ignore you if they see you walking at the street, but they say hi at the park. Worse: they neither speak to you at the park nor at the street, and whenever you are with your charge, and their kids are interacting with your charge, they totally ignore your presence and just talk to your toddler, who barely speaks!!! Why I hate the most is when people start asking questions for babies, and then you answer for them, because, duh, they do not speak! But these people are so inconsiderate they don't even bother looking at you or smiling or saying "bye" after half hour of chatting with a 6 months old baby!!! I really feel like crap when people do that!
I have another theory of why some people, in this case, some parents, look at you with that "I am superior" face. These are the parents that cannot afford a nanny, so they just look around at the nannies and think something like "Thank God I don't have a nanny, look how these nannies take care of these kids!". Deep inside she wishes she could afford even a 4 hours babysitting. I've got a lot of looks from these type of moms!!!
You know, we should have a post about moms! I see post talking a lot of crap about bench nannies, neglect nannies, but how about the mommies that leave their kids running around carefree? Let them bullie younger kids at the park? Let their ill mannered kids go wild and think it's cute/funny? I despise these moms, I have met one in particular who has just like that and her son was well known at the park as the "bullier", and people would take their children away from him, since mommy was busy talking non-stop with other moms...
Oh, and about people "chatting" with your charge who does not speak,but wants you to answer for them, I think these people just assume you are obligated to answer their questions because you are a nanny. For years I've never stood up for myself and said something such as "You know,I don't have to answer your questions" or straight out "It's none of your business/he does not speak, can't you see?!?!"
It pisses me off I let people belittle me.
Tired nanny,
The worst is when people talk to the baby and ask questions that are criticizing your care like "oh baby you must be cold, where are your socks?" I usually just introduce myself and say "hi i'm____ he's not cold cuz its 90 degrees out and I rather not have him die of heat stroke so i dressed him lightly. Is that your child over there eating dirt from the floor? Wow she must be hungry you should go feed her....have a nice day!"
Since my charge looks like me, people aren't sure if he's mine or not, so if they are being rude and ask who he belongs too I say he's mine. Which is true because 50 hours a week he is mine...he's my responsibility, under my protection and care. Because if something goes wrong i'm the one who is in front of the gun.
Not trolling. If you wanted to be fulfilled - why did you have kids???? I have friends who were raised by nannies, friends who were turn key kids and friends who moms stayed home. My friends who were raised by nannies felt that their nannies loved and cared for them more than their parents did. YIKES. The turn key kids really did have to have both parents working. They were scraping to get by. They also missed their mom too.
As far as taxes go. Give me a break. My husband makes good money and we support taxing the top 3 percent. It’s about time the wealthy pay their fair share and then maybe they will raise their own damn kids.
DJD/DJKD, what about all the actual questions I asked?
I do need to mention though that actually, the top 3% of income earners already pay a hellacious share of the total income taxes collected in the US. Read this for a start to your education:
http://www.heritage.org/budgetchartbook/top10-percent-income-earners
"The top 1 percent of income earners (income $380,354+) paid 38 percent of all federal income taxes in 2008, while the bottom 50 percent (income less than $33,048) paid only 3 percent. Forty-nine percent of U.S. households paid no federal income tax at all."
Maybe you should spend naptime doing a little research on taxes, socialism, capitalism, and fascism? One clue - if you tax the high producers (aka the mean nasty rich job creators) to death, they'll stop working, stop creating jobs, and live off what they've already earned. Then what?
Allie,
I'm in disbelief that you so blatantly stereotyped "older", "overweight", and/or "hispanic/black" nannies. Aside from being inaccurate, it's incredibly ignorant, naive, and disgusting. I sincerely hope you aren't instilling the same morals in your charges. If I were a mother, and you were a nanny to my children, you would be promptly let go.
Halifax Nanny,
Thank you for pointing out this comment, it slipped under my radar.
There is a fine line between stereo-typing and racism and I just couldn't let that one stand.
My deepest apologies.
Tales:
This is an entertainment blog for Pete's sake...not an online course. Yes, it also can be educating as well, but who wants to answer ten questions?? Who wants to do a pop quiz??!
I do not blame DJKD for not answering all of your loaded questions. It would be very time-consuming as well as irrelevant to take the time out of one's day to answer such silly questions. The fact that you took the time to actually write them all out shows me you need to get a hobby. This is a Nanny blog, not a "Should The Rich Be Taxed Higher?" political blog.
Just sayin'.
JMYCJN, when someone comes on a nanny blog and starts crapping on working moms, they are likely to be called trolls. I asked the troll questions to see if it had actual opinions it could back up or if it was, indeed, simply a troll.
Its response to me proved it is a troll, so I thought I would poke it a bit by pointing out its lack of intelligence. Anyone who says "tax the rich!" like it will solve the issues faced by working parents is a fool, and I was emnphasizing that to the troll.
You should feel free to skip any posts that you don't want to read, and I will continue to point out trolls and idiots when I cross paths with them. Nobody is forcing you to read anything here, and, as I have said before to others, one of my hobbies happens to be popping troll's hot air balloons!
Cheers!
Love your response. It's up to us to be more professional.
I couldn't agree with you more Christine :)
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