Received Wednesday, July 16, 2010
I saw your nanny. (Tuesday at approximately 1:10 PM) I don't know why you would hire her. She's clearly judgmental, clueless and lazy. Maybe you LIKE that kind of combo. Me. I don't. Especially when your nanny approaches MY daughter whilst sitting enjoying some fried rice and tells her that her shorts are too short for a young girl and "your momma can't know you're wearing heels THAT high". That is when I approached, carrying my own fare. I looked at my daughter who looked shocked and said, "what, what?". The nanny walks away and rejoins YOUR child. Who is YOUR child? The toddler sitting by himself 3 tables away in a big navy blue stroller, the sort that looks very heavy and has lots of pads and bells and whistles. Yes, YOUR nanny left YOUR charge alone while she came over and berated my daughter (and me). After your busy body, imposing and intruding nanny left my daughter, she told me exactly what she said. For the readers at home, my daughter was wearing NORMAL jean shorts that every girl her age wears. Jean shorts that are sold in TWEEN stores. Her heels are 2 inch wedges. She is 13. She is going to be okay. Your nanny, however, will not be okay if I ever see her again-without your child-. I would love to have a minute alone with her in a dark elevator. Who in the hell does she think she is? And why wasn't a nanny watcher watching her abandon her charge to accost my own? When I looked at the nanny, I was seething, but out of respect for your child, I said and did nothing. Just the same, you should KNOW that your NANNY is overstepping her bounds and terrorizing tweens while on the clock. Your child is a blonde boy of about 2. Your nanny is a Black woman of about 38-42, 5"6" wearing a green polo with white collar and jeans.
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| Food Court at the Galleria Mall in White Plains |
24 comments:
I think it was wrong of that person to say that to your daughter. Clearly it was rude.
That being said, the clothes sold in tween stores these days are slutty, and I hate to break it to you mom, but your daughter's shorts probably were too short, and 13 year olds should not be walking around in hotpants and high heels no matter what the style is. The truth sometimes hurts, and it sounds like you just got hit with it.
hahaha, alone in a dark elevator? Really, get over yourself. It may have seemed rude to you, but people say things that they shouldn't to others all the time and we need to move on and not worry about it. This is part of the reason there is so much anger and violence in this world, because people feel the need to retaliate. Do you feel angry because deep down you know she is right? She may be the best nanny in the world for all you know, this is not a reason to contact the parents, I doubt she is harming her charge.
Yes, I agree it was rude to say that to your daughter and even worse to leave her own charge.
But it sounds like she saw your young daughter sitting alone in rather inappropriate attire, and was concerned for her. She may not have expressed it in the most tactful way, but I'm actually inclined to think her intent was positive. A mall food court sounds like a field day for predators.
While it was not an appropriate comment to make, I don't see where you say she was "tertorizing" tweens. I mean, she should have kept her opinion to herself, but, you make it sound like she came over and slapped your daughter in the face, your reaction is totally out of line, sorry.
What is wrong with you people? It was MORE innappropriate for the nanny to LEAVE HER CHARGE UNATTENDED and accost this young lady, who was minding her own business! We are talking about NY here, not some po-dunk town in Alabama. What the mom describes her daughter as wearing sounds like decent summer attire.
Why would any of you jump down this mom's throat? She has every right to be angry. I don't think she would really beat this nanny up, she is venting. I would be highly pissed off if someone approached my kid and did this. It was NOT ok.
The daughter's attire was none of the nanny's business.
Nanny shouldn't have left the baby unattended.
Mom shouldn't want to corner nanny in a dark elevator.
It doesn't matter what the mother allows her daughter to wear, the nanny should NOT have come up to her and said anything. It is not the nanny's place to tell a stranger her clothes are inappropriate.
Now the only part of your post that I didn't like was your threat to violence if you ever saw the nanny again. That to me is taking it to far, and shows a lack of maturity. I have people all the time come up to me and my charges and say something about what they are wearing. IE he should be wearing shoes/socks, she should not be wearing a dress like that and I just look at them and walk away I've never even thought about touching them because of their ignorance and you shouldn't either. Just let it go lady, there are a lot more things to be worried about than what an ignorant nanny said to your child.
ummm no. that little 13 year old was not wearing slutty clothes at all. Even clothes that are some what revealing can become classy on the right person. No one has the right to judge any teenagers clothes especially if mom is around. It is rude as all hell. I agree with OP I would have shot off. No one insults my family. I for once side with OP. She may have the same temper as myself but she was insulted and think how bad her daughter feels now. Stupid, mean, nanny. you know older women still say that shit to me about my clothing. just never thought anyone would be jealous of a 13 year old but it can happen I guess.
OP. I will make sure no one goes onto the elevator while you take care of business ;)
OMG, a whole 3 tables away! In a stroller, with perfect line of sight. How awful!
Phoenix,
how do you know the 13 year old was not dressed slutty? Were you there?
A mom who wants to beat people up in elevators most likely will have a daughter that dresses slutty. Nobody has the right to judge teenagers by their clothes? Well...but we do. And perhaps the nanny, while tactless and rude, was only worried that people would see this girl and try to pick up on her.
If it had been me, I would have told the nanny off and said to mind her own business but then...my daughter is not allowed to wear revealing clothing. OP, I'm sure she did get the shorts at a tween store, but she is not a tween anymore, so some longer shorts would not make it appear that she has sex with guys. There is nothing more tasteless than a teenage girl with her butt cheeks hanging out. (It annoys me only slightly less than mothers who allow their daughters to wear words on their behinds.) In style? Please. Make her cover her butt. Short shorts at age 13 is a BAD IDEA.
People just cannot handle the truth sometimes. If you dress like a skank, people will think you are a skank.
how do you know she was wearing inappropriate clothing? why are most people assuming that she was in short shorts?
why are most people assuming that she was in short shorts?
Because we've seen "what most girls her age" are wearing, and the mostly trampy clothing "sold in TWEEN stores".
Granted, the nanny was being a busybody but the OP's out-of-proportion extreme rage and her own depiction of her daughter's appearance don't exactly garner sympathy from readers.
why are most people assuming that she was in short shorts?
Because we've seen "what most girls her age" are wearing, and the mostly trampy clothing "sold in TWEEN stores".
Granted, the nanny was being a busybody but the OP's out-of-proportion extreme rage and her own depiction of her daughter's appearance don't exactly garner sympathy from readers.
You know what -- Nannies do not check their Free Speech rights at the door. I'm not going to control my nanny's right to express her opinion. And I don't believe this toddler was endangered by her expressing her opinion on your daughter's clothing, whether or not that opinion was wrong. This sounds like a case of a nanny doing something YOU did not like.
If I am picturing our food court at the local mall, three tables isn't much. No, I don't think she should have left her charge, but I do think you are making a bigger deal about this than it needs to be. If a stranger came up to my daughter and commented about her clothes, I would be taking a second glance at what she is wearing. Tween clothing is not what it was 10 years ago, and a lot of it is pretty slutty looking. Perhaps you should stop being mad at the nanny, and look at yourself instead. She probably did your daughter a favor. Kids are not as safe as they used to be, and I would hate for something to happen to your daughter because she was wearing skimpy clothes. And in my opinion, heels of any sort are not appropriate for a 13 year old.
IMO, mom over-reacted.
Nanny wasn't rude or threatening, but rather simply stating her opinion... which was most likely accurate. I can't imagine why she would politely say something if the shorts were a reasonable length. And yes, tween stores are... interesting these days. Case in point: I was observing a 4th grade class this morning and saw 2 girls, one in Limited 2 shorts & the other in some other brand, and both were obscenely short--as in if they bent over, it would be censored on tv obscene.
Unless you're a stripper, at the pool/bbq, or want to risk comments like the one from this nanny, keep your daughter's arse covered.
How is this reporting abuse?
I get it OP, you were offended, but your reaction is completely over the top. Is this grounds for firing? Umm, I'm pretty much going to guarantee a no here...
The OP states she approached the table as nanny was walking away, how do we really know what was said? The daughter is 13, they are well-known for telling the whole truth and nothing but! Maybe the daughter made the story up. Stupid maybe, but we are talking young teen here.
It was rude of the nanny to say that to you and she probably shouldn't have but your violence threat and what you have said don't say much for you.
Also, three tables away is not a big deal at all. Knowing how close the mall puts tables she probably could have touched her charge.
Also, she saw this young girl by herself and maybe wanted to give an opinion on her clothing. You weren't there so you won't know the exact words that were said.
I also think that clothes sold in tween stores are mostly inappropriate for the ages they are being marketed towards, especially the shorts. So just because you think they are normal shorts that every girl her age wears, to other people they are probably way too short. I know when I see 13 yr olds walking around the mall in their short shorts I think it is entirely inappropriate. Also, by her wearing short shorts and 2" heels, no offense but it probably did look inappropriate.
victim blaming is well and alive here, apparently.
I'd hardly call the OP a victim...And she was threatening bodily harm on the nanny...Sounds the nanny would have been the potential victim!
this is dumb. i'm sure the baby was very close by and certainly within eye sight. however, if an adult approached my child without my being present, i'd have words with him/ her. Why didn't you?
and why is ur tween wearing hot pants and heels? that part of the story is scariest.
hey, assholes? it's summer, there's a heat wave, and it's hot out. shorts are totally appropriate for this weather. it's great that she isn't so self-conscious that she won't wear them due to being "fat."
anyway, what she was wearing and you all judging her are irrelevant. the nanny left a child young enough to be in a stroller unattended in a mall food court. get a fucking sense of perspective.
I understand how mad OP is. I am very protective of my daughter and I can't imagine how pissed I would be if some stranger was rude to her, can you imagine how embarassed the poor 13 year old felt being berated by this random woman in a mall? I think Op did great by venting here and not tearing the busy body a new one right there. She should be concerned with her charge and not with being the fashion police.
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