I frequently see a young nanny at Roxbury Park in Beverly Hills with a baby girl that looks to be about 8 months old, give or take a few months. The nanny pushes her in the swing for about 30-45min and completely ignores her the whole time - she wears sunglasses so no eye contact, and she always has earphones in and is looking at her phone or mp3 player the entire time listening to music or whatever. Literally doesn't say a word to the baby or even look at her, smile at her, nothing.It breaks my heart to see this. The baby is just staring off into space. I always try to get a swing right next to her so I can smile and try to engage the baby, and the baby is thrilled when I do this. I feel like if this is how she is with the baby in public, how badly does she ignore her in private?
The other nannies I see at the park are usually wonderful, and with so many great nannies out of work right now I want to try to find the parents and tell them to get a new nanny! If I saw my baby with a caregiver like that I would be devastated.
The baby has a black Bugaboo with light tan or ivory canopy, the baby has very straight short dark hair (not much hair) and was wearing gold metallic mary-jane ballet type shoes. The nanny looks very young, dark curly hair slicked back in a ponytail, long nails, red phone or mp3 player. Average build/height - probably a size 10? She could be hispanic or middle eastern, it's hard to tell as she always wears big sunglasses (Armani symbol on the side I think). They are often at Roxbury Park between 9-10am.
19 comments:
Oy...no one can engage a child all the time. She was standing there pushing the swing for a very long time...
If this nanny were sitting at home on her a@@ all day..you'd most likely complain..she is out at the park..the baby is out of the stroller,swinging,not crying,getting fresh air and watching other children play,probably observing the birds..maybe some dogs..this could very well be her down time before a mid morning nap..all children need quiet /down time throughout the day..its actually healthy.Children need to learn to occupy themselves from time to time.It helps create self confidence and promotes imagination.In this instant gratification generation that we are raising..I would say parents/nannies who promote such things w/out plopping the kid infront of the tv are fabulous!JMO
The OP notes a huge difference between this nanny, and the majority of nannies she sees in the playground. That tells me this is a valid observation of a sub par nanny. She sounds disinterested and unengaged with the baby. An eight month old in a swing for forty five minutes and no eye contact, not one peekaboo, or round of The Wheels on the Bus! Not good enough, children deserve better. There are good nannies out there, who love working with children, and put a lot of effort into providing stimulation, and fun. Don't settle for less.
I agree with Manhattan Nanny. Eight months old is too young for there not to be any interaction, especially for that long of a time period.
The OP proved the point that the baby sat in the swing for 45 minutes without any form of verbal or nonverbal communication. If the nanny neglects the child at this age, imagine the child's language skills in a few months. How does a child learn to communicate with adults and others if the adults responsible for his care and development do not provide activities, such as language, music, etc? Apparently this nanny knows nothing about child development. Sad.
OK, LOOK. Not everyone does a stellar job at their job. But I thought this website was to watch out for situations where children were being endangered. I think it's really important to focus on the purpose of this site. Otherwise, it starts to turn into tattletailing and starts losing credibility.
Also, I want to point out that not everyone excells at each age group. It's easy to assume that if baby is quiet, all is well. When the little guy I watch was eight months old I often didn't know what to do with him and I honestly was quite bored. Not that he is three we play board games, read, chase each other and play fight all day long. Just a thought.
My Thoughts:
Good point, but this is a nanny that has proven to OP she is unfit for this age group or to be a nanny. The issue is not about what to do with him, but that she was ignoring him. If I were this child's parent, I would want to know about this.
My Thoughts,
Exactly, not everyone does a stellar job at their job, however, is a mediocre nanny suitable for your children? Why should someone employ a mediocre nanny when they could have a fabulous nanny.
Is this abuse or neglect, of course not. The child is fine and will grow up just fine, however, if it was my child, I would want to know that when the nanny says they "went to the park and played on the swings" this is what happened. People pay nannies to interact with children, not listen to their iPod.
I think this site is to inform parents of ANY nanny who is not performing to general expectations. If I was this childs parent, I would be angry. Forty five minutes on a swing without any interaction is not appropriate. I hate pushing my son on the swing, but we sing and talk at least SOME of the time.
While I agree that the nanny should have engaged in SOME sort of communicative activity with the child, I do think it is important to note that the child was swinging, at the park, enjoying fresh air. Perhaps the nanny in question should have pushed her on the swings for 15-20 minutes then switched to another activity. We see so many nannies abusing and neglecting their charges. Thank God this is not one of those. The nanny could have quite possibly just finished engaging the child in music, art, or some other stimulating activity and this was just a "down time" for them both. You never know. I am a nanny and RARELY defend nannies mentioned on this site but I think this is a little silly. We are human just like the rest of the world and cannot be perfect all the time.
So, if the nanny was listening to her Ipod while jogging and pushing the baby in the stroller, this also wouldn't be okay? Because that is what I have done many, many times as a nanny to fit excercize into my long workday.
(I also thought of it as a good time for us both to veg out, enjoy the outdoors and just "be", without needing anything else. By the way, can I mention that he is very talkative, social, confident and affectionate at age 3?)
I can't think that it is fair for a nanny to be judged by strangers for what appears to be mediocre work just because the strangers think the parents may "want to know", especially when the strangers really don't know anything else about her work.
It just seems extremely judgemental. I don't think ANY of us would get glowing reports if strangers were scruntinizing us on the job at random moments.
I agree. There is too little info to make a judgment call. And for that matter what were the OP's kids doing that she sat and watched this caregiver for 45+ mins without taking a beat o look away (and perhaps miss a smile or a coo??). I think while there are some valid sightings on here, some just want to post.. therefore spending their day looking for things to post about. Oh well.. to each their own, I suppose.
In the end it's the parents of this child's decision if it's okay or not for the nanny to do this. What we think doesn't really matter. OP posted what she thought was sub par care. The parents, if they see this, can make the final decision.
The reason it matters is because a nanny's job and well-being could be at stake over someone else's judgement of "sub-par", a term which really bugs the crap out of me.
Who is excellent at every aspect of their job?
For example, I never excelled at interacting verbally with an infant. I was the one pushing the stroller jamming a long with my headphones on.
However, two years later I would say I am pretty awesome at playing monster chase, pottytraining, inventing learning games, organizing outings, instilling morals and values and much more...
Now, if someone had seen me two years ago and told the parents that they believed I was provding "sub par" care because I had my headphones on while pushing the baby carriage, I could have gotten fired. Even if I wasn't fired, the parent's opinion of me would have really be affected.
After all, imagine being a parent and how upsetting it would be to have someone say, "I saw your nanny doing x and I believe it is detrimental to your child"
The little guy I watch and his older sisters would have missed out on a lot of good memories and friendships, and the family could have really missed out.
So I think it is VERY important that people truly stick to reporting situations where a child is actually in danger. If you have a problem doing this, you might want to ask yourself what it is in your own life that is causing you to be so judgemental of others, and how else you might fulfull your sense of purpose.
OP says, if the nanny acts this way in public, imagine what she's like at home. But it could be that she's stellar at home. Maybe she works for a SAHM or a WAHM who demands interaction with her child every moment that she's around, so the nanny uses the park as down time for both of them. We just don't know how the nanny operates other than 45 minutes at the park.
Also, there are a lot of complaints about nannies who keep their kids in strollers and sit on the bench. At least this child was in a swing and content.
Oh it Matters,
"I never excelled at interacting verbally with an infant. "
It is true that not all nannies are good with the whole range of ages. I know women who are wonderful with newborns and young infants, but don't have the level of energy needed for older children They recognize this, and work as baby nurses. You sound like a good nanny, and it is good that you recognize that your strength is with older children. Rather than starting out with infants, for whom the verbal interaction is so formative, why don't you start jobs with cares in the toddler stage, where you do excel?
oh it matters,
I'm glad you recognize your weaknesses. Did you tell the people who hired you to watch their infant you weren't good with infant interaction? As a parent I wouldn't want to hire someone who isn't "good" with the age my child is. I wouldn't be happy to find out that because you aren't good with infant verbal interaction my baby goes on walks with you while you wear headphones instead of pointing out animals, talking about what you see, etc.
I don't think any parent would fire a nanny over this posting, however they may "pop in" one day and see what's going on. If she's a good nanny, then she has nothing to worry about.
Well, I was good with him in other ways, especially physically. I just never enjoyed talking to him during a walk since he couldn't respond. After all, you can only say "look at the birds" so many times in an hour.
Also, most people want to keep the same nanny from infant to preschool, not choose a different nanny based on her age specialty.
Anyways, I don't mean to argue, but I said all I could say.
Oh my god she sounds like a "bad nanny" . The baby is out at the park getting fresh air and seeing other children play ....How do you know if this childs parents give her any attention????? maybe it was close to nap time...I push my child in the swing for awhile before nap time to help her get sleepy ...... This nanny was not being abusive ....think of the ones who are!!! Get over it
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