Received Thursday, November 6, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
My question involves the nanny/employer dynamic. How much is appropriate, the amount of information to expect from your nanny? For example, last weekend, we all went away and the nanny had the house to herself, would it have been acceptable for me to ask her what she did or if she had friends over? I ask of a curious perspective. Monday, I searched the computer looking for tracks leading to a myspace or friendster page, but found nothing. I did find some strange photos that may indicate some sort of foot deformity or fetish. These photos were on my computer, can I ask about the photos?
For those inclined to suggest I mind my business, do note that the nanny has only been with us four weeks and the subject matter of the photos was somewhat troubling. Using the directions herein, I was able to upload them from MY computer.
(OP sent in these pictures: A, B, C and D - Please view with caution, they are not for the weak.)
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23 comments:
Okay, so maybe your nanny has a foot fungus?
As for what she did all weekend, that is her business - unless she brought it to your home.
Do you have clear cut rules for her using your home? If not, I would place some.
Our dog sitter (I know not a nanny but still) can have one friend over (we know her from church) at a time and are allowed to use anything she wishes. She is not allowed to use our bed to sleep in, period. Our room and bathroom are off limits.
It may be considered shaddy to some, but we have our neighbors keep an eye on activity (they are an elderly couple that stays at home).
So, I would not go asking about the photos, just ask that she keep any content she visits on your computer family friendly - that should clear that up.
Actually, OP, I'm thinking that it may be more along the lines of your nanny doing some research... Those feet are nothing to have a fetish over, lol. She may have severely calloused feet or have some toe fungus issues as are indicated in those photos. If you want to ask her, ask away. I don't think she would be offended, I wouldn't. She was using YOUR computer... I really don't think that there was anything to worry about.
However, do you have an issue with her using MySpace or Friendster? You noted that you searched your computer's history for those two specific things... Your nanny is grown and even if she did have a MySpace, it's not as if you'd have access to it unless her page was not private and YOU had a MySpace yourself...
If you trust her with your kids, then you should trust her with your computer, lol.
I agree. I think she has some sort of foot problem. Do you offer her some sort of health coverage?
I might ask about the foot problems because if she has some sort of fungus she might pass it to your family. Don't tell her you researched her activities. Tell a white lie and say the images popped up somehow.
Then just do what the lady above mentioned and have a neighbor keep an eye out for parties while oyu are away.
If you ask what she did over the weekend, which is a natural question, make it friendly, not probing. If your house is in the same conditin as when you left, who cares what she did unless it was illegal or something out of line like having a party.
oh please! I can't believe this is even a question.
Those photos are completely harmless and as previously stated, nothing to have a fetus about. So she was trying to figure out what she OR possibly a friend had or just doing research; and as far as her passing it on to your family? Please. Give me a freakin' break. You're assuming an awful lot here and let me tell you; you'll end up looking like a jerk and embarrassing yourself, most likely.
Looks like your nanny is suffering from foot fungus.
As I suffer from it, it is highly contagious and you have a right to discreetly and gently ask about it and be prepared to offer help finacially. Even with coverage, the meds can be costly. There are home remedies out there that can control it well though, and at a fraction of the cost. Use of a pomice stone and natural herbs is excellent. Bathing the toes in a mild chlorine solution or peroxide also works. Also, use of a mixture of a good anti-fungal creme along with aveeno with eucalyptus extract works for the heel issue.
why would someone with such awful fungus have a french manicure? I would lock up my polishes and nail tools if I were you, which I am not.
It's my guess that she was "researching" something. Those feet look like a male's feet, so I'm guessing they're not hers. And, I don't think it's that big of a deal. I'm a nanny and I've been known to research some pretty weird things (not while at work, but she LIVES there, so what's the difference?). Haven't you ever looked at anything weird?
I don't understand these people who come in here freaking out over things that really don't matter. Your nanny is a PERSON, just like you.. and she's not perfect. I'm sure you have done/said/looked at, etc. things that if people saw/heard they would wonder what the heck you were doing!
Let it go... it could be far worse than your nanny looking at some gross feet pictures!
I dont know that this is not a big deal. I mean the nanny used the employer's computer. I don't allow anyone to use my computer, especially not my husband whose propensity for porn has brought viruses to my mother board and shame on our family.
If these are your nanny's feet, I would dismiss her at once; sandal season is just around the corner and your nanny, more so than your vehicle is a reflection on you.
Sandle season? Please. It's November!
I think she is ashamed of her feet and is somehow reaching out to you. I do believe they are her feet but what a train wreck. She needs to take a week wacker to those toe hairs at once. But seriously, she may have used your computer to send pics of her feet to someone else looking for an opinion. As a nanny, she may not have any close friends around she can trust with these issues, especially is she has only been with you for four weeks. Give her a break. Maybe suprise her with a pedicure/manicure date for the two of you. When she refuses, hopefully she will open up to you as to why and you can point her in the right direction for some serious help. Dr. Scholls - EMERGENCY!!!
I am crackin up over here! I think you have nothing to worry about and that your nanny has a foot problem or knows someone that does. You do sound kind of nosey to me. i can see you wondering what she did while you were out of town but going to the extreams of looking through the computer and posting this crazy post on her seriously thinking she has a foot fetish or something...come on now! Find something else to fill your time.
Anonymous said...
you've got to be kidding me....
Asking if she had people over to your home is perfectly valid...the rest is nosy BS.
The foot thing? Use your brain. Obviously she or someone she knows needed information about some kind of foot fungus.
Why were you looking for links to friendster or myspace? because you want to know if she uses them? how about asking her? And if she does have one, I'd imagine that if there were anything on it youd find displeasing it would be set to private anyway.
You're jsut being nosy.
1:34 PM
RE-POST FOR ANONYMOUS!!!
PICK A MONIKER PLEASE!!! :)
No, just leave it be.
If nothing is missing and all seems well, just leave it.
Maybe in the future you could probably tell her to let you know if she intended to invite anyone over when you went away.
Not for any big reason, just that you want to know who's in your house.
Start getting comfortable with your nanny if you intend to keep her on.
Talk, have casual conversations and you will get to know her and also know if you can trust her.
What is this about? Why would a nanny or any domestic for that matter think they were entitled to use personal affects of their employer just because the employer was away? My computer is private. I have private work and personal documents on my computer. I love my nanny but she knows damn well that my computer is not for her use.
you have to be a joke. foot fetish? you're nuts, boss. myob- i don't care if it's your house.
First of all it's an infection and not a weird foot fetish. I would bet that the nanny was looking it up because she has something similar to that.
If you don't want people in your home when you aren't there then you need to be upfront with her and you should have that written in the contract. If you haven't then you don't have any right to ask who was in the home.
If she is that new that you are worried and that cautious why would you leave her home alone for a weekend? Couldn't if have waited until you knew her better?
Hey, who posted pics of my feet online?? Perv.
I think you have the right to ask her if she had people over, it is your house. When I was a live-in nanny I cleared all visitors with my employers first when I knew they would not be home just to be safe. They knew all of my regular friends anyway but it's better that way when you live in someone's home. Just tell her that if she has people in your house when you and your family are away could you please just meet them first. I don't think that's a big deal. Looking in her room or anything like that I would say is definitely NOT something you can morally do. As for the photos perhaps a friend sent them? It doesn't look in ANY way sexual but more like a fungus or something. Perhaps she was researching for herself or someone else or someone she knows sent them to her to get her opinion. NEVER jump to conclusions when someone lives in your home, especially if you like her and she seems to be doing a good job.
Goddess, hilarious!
Madam employer you are snooping. Yes you are and you know it. Was she viewing these while she should have been working? According to your log no she was not wasting her time on your dime. You people have a misconception of nannies, teachers, pastors and other individuals who are suppose to be "Saints" apparently. Let me tell you something, everyone has a life outside of work. Are you more holy than thou? Who knows what shackles and hand cuffs you have hidden in your little pink tea pots. You are intrusive and rude. How dear you follow behind this woman, sit at a computer and look for something to accuse this woman of. You know what you did is wrong and that is your conscience bothering you and you seek to alleviate your guilt by reaching out to others to pacify you by agreeing with you? You pay someone to do their job not to be accountable to you about their personal lives and surrender a kidney when you desire. You have given this woman a job, a means of making an income and because of that she should be demonized and dehumanized because you are paying her the almighty dollar? You need to go do some knitting honey or something because you are insecure in yourself, bored and truly crude for having even done this. Think about how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. This is an invasion of privacy. Shame on you Sweety. Nonetheless much love but seriously take a look in the mirror and think about it.
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