Saturday

The Responsibility Doubles but the Pay Remains the Same

Received Saturday, October 4, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I took a job in May as one of two nannies for a family with newborn twin boys. I had past experience as the exclusive caretaker of infant twins and felt perfectly competent to handle both babies, but my employers had already hired one nanny—a friend of the family who I’ll call Jane—and so I was happy to be responsible for the care of only one of the twins. Jane and I were each compensated at the rate of $15/hour. Although it wasn’t part of the job duties, both Jane and I always did extra work around the house while our respective babies were napping. We did the laundry, did the dishes, made sure enough bottles were made to last our employers through the night, tidied the kitchen, etc.

Jane frequently took days off throughout the summer, and I ended up taking care of both boys. I wondered if that would be reflected in my paycheck, since the family was getting the equivalent of both of us in childcare and only paying me, but it never was. Since I adore the boys and was otherwise content with the family, I didn’t question it. On one of my many “solo” days, the parents would comment on how great I was with both babies. Their dad even remarked that I was the only one who could handle them both. Unlike the nannies they’d previously employed, I am remarkably even tempered and patient, so even when both boys cried, I stayed calm and was able to get them calmed down without getting flustered. (What can I say? I’m a natural with infants. J ) Even when I was alone, I managed to get much of the extra housework (that wasn’t a part of my job) done. My employers were also quite pleased and impressed with that. In their words, I am fabulous with their boys (who adore me) and seamless in the house.

As the end of the summer approached, I knew that Jane would be leaving to return to college. My employers asked me if I would be okay as the exclusive nanny. Now, though they asked, they also made it clear that they thought I could handle it and would prefer it that way. I told them I felt comfortable with that arrangement. Pay was never discussed, but I was (and still am), quite frankly SHOCKED that they continued to deliver the same $15/hour paycheck that they had all summer. While I love both of the twins and am content with my job, it’s simply unfathomable to me that these people would be so obtuse as to think that it hadn’t crossed my mind that while my childcare responsibilities doubled, their nanny payroll was cut in half. I know that I need to just tell them how I feel, but I’d appreciate the support or advice of employers in knowing, in particular, whether this sounds unreasonable to you. Also, while I wouldn’t expect my paycheck to double, I do think that $23 (which represents half of Jane’s salary)-$25/hourly seems fair. Am I wrong?

34 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you should feel comfortable asking about a pay raise because they have made it clear that they are impressed by the way you handle the children and the amount of work you get done.

Being new parents, they've probably never had to deal with a situation like this and once you bring it up they may realize that a pay increase is only fair.

Be willing to negotiate with them. I think it's also important to consider that maybe part of the reason they're not bringing in another nanny (in addition to you being so awesome) is that $30 turned out to be just too much.

That said, don't let them walk all over you. If they are unwilling to pay more, you could consider cutting back on all the extra housework and just taking care of the children.

Anonymous said...

I forgot to mention-- they're not new parents. (Well, mom isn't.) There are two teens in the household too, for which I'm not technically responsible, but on occasion have to drive them somewhere or supervise the younger one (13). They're great, great kids, so I have no complaints about that, but their mom has always been a high ranking exec and has employed nannies since her 16 year old was an infant. She deals with hundreds of employees at work and has always employed nannies, so I don't think it's ignorance. I think she's taking advantage of the fact that she knows I adore her children. That's sad to me, because I think I'd want to be as generous as possible to someone who loved my children like her own.

Also, I am the only person who is EVER entrusted with both babies at once. Not even the parents watch them both for more than a couple of hours alone. (It's quite silly to me actually! Lots of people have twins without help... but they treat it as such a big deal.) When I'm not available to watch them (outside of my normal schedule), they have two sitters come. When they travel to their home in FL, they hire two sitters. They seemingly have no problem paying $30/hour when I'm not available.

I guess my dilemma comes from the fact that I enjoy my job a lot. The kids are fantastic. The parents are generally nice, but I do feel taken advantage of.

Anonymous said...

Well, knowing all of that I think you should definitely speak to them about paying more. They must know how lucky they are to have you, and if they don't they'll figure it out quickly after you leave!

In my experience as a nanny (although now I'm a mom) I found that some employers were ready and willing to give me a raise but would always wait until I brought it up. It sucks, but perhaps this is just the way she operates.

Anonymous said...

^^Someone is using the same name as me!

Anonymous said...

sorry! i'm new here. I'll come up with something else.

UmassSlytherin said...

OP,
I think you should definitely ask for a pay raise.

However, 25.00 per hour seems really high! Is this before or after taxes? you are claiming your income, correct? (please tell me you are: it is my pet peeve when people do not.) I am sure you are wonderful, but that really is quite a bit of money. are they filthy rich? I don't think I personally would pay that much. Not that ytou are not worth it: I'm sure you are.

Ask them and see what they say and then get back to us.

Anonymous said...

First of all, I have to say that I find the language in your posting really entitled. You never bothered to bring up pay, but you were SHOCKED that they didn't do it for you? It's "unfathomable to me" that you would be so passive aggressive as to stay silent and just resent your employer rather than open your mouth to get what you think you deserve.

But, now that I've gotten that off my chest, I do think you deserve a raise (if you ASK for one). You may find that $25/hour is more than these parents are willing to pay, though, despite the fact that they were paying a total of $30 through the summer. There was a time when they thought it was worth that much money to purchase the time of two caregivers. It seems that time is over and they're comfortable with one.

Bottom line: show some initiative! Call a meeting and tell them what you'd like, but consider that the jumping off point for negotiations. I think you may need to settle for something more around the $20/hour mark.

Anonymous said...

I agree with umass. 25 is a bit high...even 23. I'd ask for maybe a 3 dollar an hour raise, which is standard when taking on another child. Good luck :-)

Anonymous said...

UMA--

I actually completely understand and appreciate the argument that $25 hour just seems like a lot for childcare.

The difference in this situation is this: I wouldn't ever have agreed to be the nanny to two infants for $15/hour. I probably would have requested $20/hour at a minimum (that's the going rate around here). I think I deserve more in this case because even if they paid me $23-25/hour, they're still saving $1000-1400 a month by just having me, but receiving the exact same amount of child care. They didn't have a problem paying $30/hour to have their twins in good hands, so why shouldn't they be willing to pay $25 for the same thing?

I'm curious, from those who think $23-25 is too much, what WOULD a reasonable request be? I'm open to it! I won't be taken advantage of, but I'm perfectly content to be fair... and to remain in the lives of my favorite little guys! :)

Kate

P.S. Yes, of course I pay taxes.

Anonymous said...

Kate, it's reasonable to ask for what you want. No one (if I can speak for everyone) is suggesting that you shouldn't ask for $25/hour if that's what you think you're worth. But you asked for employer's opinions and we're giving them to you. The children are older, they're not as needy as before, now one person can handle it. You're request for $25/hour--a $10/hour raise--may be rejected. All people on this board are telling you is that your request may be unrealistic and you may need to negotiate with your employers.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

Kate (op) I think you are perfectly entitled to a raise and you should ask for it. I don't think there is anything passive agressive about your attitude. Your employers are probably used to negotiating everything at work, they are not necessarily bad people, but you have to stand up for yourself. I do not think that asking for a raise in terms of Jane's paycheck is a good idea, you should see this from your side only, not from your employers' . Also, you need to evaluate how much housework you will still be able to do. You seem to have been doing quite a lot, and your employers may need a reality check as to what you will be able to do in the future.

Anonymous said...

OP, please assert yourself and ask for the raise that you are entitled to.

Anonymous said...

kate,
I have to agree with some of the others. Although I definitely think you deserve a raise, you have to be realistic about what the going rate for two children is in your area, that's all. I thought that a $10.00 an hour raise might be a little high, because maybe these parents are being hit by the same financial concerns that so many in our country are experiencing...and jst were a little apprehensive about telling you. Not that you need to accept too low a pay rate for what you do to supplement thier income...but they may not be able to pay way above the going rate in your area. Just know what the going rate is before you soeak to them and be willing to negotiate so that both they and you feel good about the outcome. If one side feels thay are not getting a fair deal, resentment and tension are inevitable. That's not good.

I'm sure they will want to make every effort to keep you on (if they are sane and rational anyway) because t sounds like you are nanny gold.

Good luck! Let us know what happens.

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't ask for $25 on the premise that they WERE paying $30. True you are doing twice the work now, but you are still a single set of hands. I personally would rather hire an additional nanny again then pay twice the going rate for one. Seems to me like most people would logically arrive there as well. However, now that you are a single nanny it's not unreasonable for you to ask for a raise. I would tell them that had you interviewed with them as a single nanny you would have asked for $20/hr to care for infant twins. I wouldn't bring up your additional chores as it wasn't a job requirement. They might see it as you doing them favor, but greedily expecting compensation for it. It's hard enough for nannies to ask for a raise while maintaining that their love for the kids is the priority. :)

Amy said...

OP - just wondering, do you work in Chatham NJ? I saw an ad on CL a while back looking for a nanny for this exact type of situation for a family in that area. Anyway, if so, I'm a nanny for 11 mo twin girls nearby and would love to talk and maybe do playdates. Let me know!

Rebecca said...

I agree with kate on everything - you certainly deserve a raise ($25 would be great, but who knows if you can get that), but you shouldn't have assumed they'd just offer you one. When they asked if you'd stay on as the sole nanny, it was your responsibility to tell them your terms for agreeing to that. Now you're late to the party - they probably assume you're quite happy with what you're getting, and it's going to be a lot more awkward to ask for a raise (which, yes, you should do, because you deserve it).

Anonymous said...

Did I miss where OP lives? I was a night nanny to newborn triplets about 6yrs ago here in SoCal and was paid 14 an hour...when I switched to days my boss lowered my pay to 12 bucks...Even now only in the wealthiest areas could you get 20 bucks an hour. There are too many others who will work for less and do housework around here. Like someone else said just because they were paying 30 for 2 people I assure you they wont see your logic in wanting a hefty raise. A raise sure but ....

Anonymous said...

Thanks so much for all the insight. :) I really do appreciate all of you taking the time to share your perspectives.

A few points in response:

-On sounding "entitled": Well, sure. I know that I'm a good nanny, and my employers know that I'm a good nanny, and good nannies aren't exactly a dime a dozen-- this website is proof of that! :) So I expect that I'm compensated as such. While I may seem passive aggressive discussing this, I assure you it doesn't affect my performance at work. I could NEVER take out my issues with parents on the little angels I watch. They're the best part of my day, even if I do feel like I'm being taken advantage of-- it's not their faults!

-On assertiveness: I actually am quite assertive in general. (I'm in law school--I have to be! :)) I've never had trouble standing up for myself or knowing my worth, but as I'm sure my fellow nannies (and some parents, too) understand that it's just so much harder in a childcare context. It's just tough to bring up money while maintaining how much you love your job. (And I do-- I really do! I couldn't ask for cuter, sweeter babies.)

-On preferring two nannies: I think it's fair to say that most families would prefer two nannies to one if they're going to pay $30/hour in either circumstance. But I am, by their measure, just as effective with the twins as both Jane and I were as a team. Also, I'm willing to accept $23/hour, which saves them $360/week. The alternative, which I intend to present to them, is having them hire another nanny and being responsible for one baby for $15/hour. I think if I were to leave, they wouldn't feel comfortable with just one nanny; they don't even leave both babies alone with relatives that have grown children!

-Location: Northern NJ.

Anonymous said...

OP, of course you should ask for a raise and of course you deserve one, but I cannot for the life of me understand why you never thought to mention it until now, AFTER the fact.

oangeCountyCAnanny, you wre horrifically underpaid to begin with and I have no idea why you would agree to such a pay cut and stay on the job. I'd expect daytime nannying must be more dificult since you'd have more interaction, activities, etc with the kids, so that pay cut makes no sense to me.

Anonymous said...

Cali: It's only been three weeks, and I've also started school (at night) in that time. That, coupled with the fact that I find it REALLY hard to bring up money with a childcare employer... leaves me at three solo weeks without having said anything. :(

Anonymous said...

tell me. i was the orginal mary poppin pills. i am flattered someone else liked it enough to take it as their own

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

Me
I have been around practically since the inception of ISYN, under a different moniker of course, but "MaryPoppin'Pills" was born about a year or so ago... and I've never seen another poster on here use it.
Where are your posts?

Anonymous said...

I nannied newborn, premature infant triplets for one year...I made 100 dollars cash/no taxes (spare the backlash) So I guess that broke down to....11.00 an hour.

Anonymous said...

I have been in similiar situations and I personally feel that you are being taken advantage of, BIG TIME!! Sure, we should speak up for ourselves and ask for what we want, but sometimes it is a little awkward to discuss money issues, I know.
I understand you hoping they would maybe pay you more, I have taken a "wait and see" attitude myeself and sometimes it paid off and sometimes not. If you are offered more money w/out having to ask for it, then you are working for a wonderful family that appreciates every little thing you do and isn't afraid to justly compensate you for what you are worth. However, if a family dosen't offer more money and then puts you in a position that you have to be the one to ask, I say it says something about the type of folks they are. Even if you do negotiate another rate w/them, I would still feel resentment inside knowing that they had tried to take advantage of me. But that is just me and that is just my point of view.

While $30/hour may seem a bit much, I think your price of $23 is fairly reasonable. To care for two infants is tough work and now you have double the liability as well. If the family cannot afford that, then that is their problem, not yours and then it should be up to you if you want to stay.

I don't know why families like to get more bang for their buck in regards to childcare. Aren't their children the most important things to them in the world? I am a parent and I would pay through the roof for someone who had the ability to love my angels as much as I did.

Good Luck and keep us posted on the outcome.

UmassSlytherin said...

another MPP? link please?

Anonymous said...

mary, it has been ages since i had been on the sight and/or posted and i realized when i had something significant to say on a post and pulled out my user information and noticed that my tag name was actually left of where i was clicking to comment; they were quite awhile ago. i guess if you didn't see it here, then we are just that creative and yet, slightly twisted and a dash cynical together. we could just say great minds think alike.. okay, so maybe no so great, but something else to say the least.

Anonymous said...

site. it is early on the west coast

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

"we are just that creative and yet, slightly twisted and a dash cynical together. we could just say great minds think alike"


Me, me, me
I promise you, I never saw the moniker here, or anywhere else.
Great minds think alike? O.k., I'll go with that one. :)

kathleencares said...

I think you should definitely ask for a raise. I agree with some of the other posts in regards to the $23 to $25/hr. While I'm sure you probably deserve that much, I'm not sure if the parents would be willing to make that big of a jump. I would ask for $20/hr if I were you. That is the going rate for 2 children where I live. You really must say something to them about this, otherwise you are just going to be bitter...and way underpaid!

Anonymous said...

I would negotiate a pay raise to around $20/hr and do less housework. Your employers certainly seem as though they can afford the pay raise but you should be careful about the tone and the way in which you approach the issue.

Anonymous said...

you should get a pay raise. just bring it up, but be willing to compromise

Anonymous said...

Hi all, so here's what happened: I asked my employer if we could talk about increasing my salary since I'm working solo now, and she was happy to have the discussion and apologetic that she hadn't considered it on her own. She asked what I thought was fair, and I told her that $23-- a 50% increase-- was what I was thinking. She said that she's had not a single complaint about me in six months, trusts me implicitly with the boys, and would be devastated if I left, and so, she was happy to oblige. She even insisted on giving me a "bonus" check to mark the six months, as well as (I assume) to compensate for the month I've been working solo for $15/hour. I really didn't want to accept it and told her that, but she insisted. I'm so happy that we were able to talk candidly and without awkwardness, and most of all, I'm glad to have it off my chest because the thought of possibly leaving my favorite little guys was heartbreaking! We also agreed that she (boss) will initiate a conversation about salary again in 6 months to make sure we're all still content. That's the only part of childcare jobs that I have trouble communicating about, so it's nice that she understands that and is willing to take the pressure off. Thanks again for all the advice and insight. :)

Anonymous said...

Are you kidding me? Find out what it costs to take care of a child at a daycare per hour. $23 for two BABIES or infant/young twins, is SO reasonable. GOD BLESS YOU! Especially when, you are at their house, doing what they want, and CLEANING! You are a NANNY, not a house keeper!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the reassurance cpalm. :) I feel like our arrangement now is very fair. As for the housekeeping, I could hardly call it that-- I just do the kids' laundry and keep the kitchen tidy, and I do it not out of obligation but because I'd rather be doing something productive while the children nap. And also, I'm a bit of a neat freak. :)