What: A distasteful nanny with a penchant for sunflower seeds and male porn.
Where: Levin Playground in Central Park
When: Today, (Wednesday, October 1, 2008) at about 10:30 AM
Who: A woman of about 30 years of age with dishwasher blonde hair, frumpy, wearing a plaid man's shirt over a blue t-shirt. She removed the plaid shirt, revealing the t-shirt for some part of her time, including a time when she meandered over to the children to check on them and she was bra less; and if ever I have seen a woman more in need of a bra, then it would have to have been when my 83 year old demented, mother-in-law once appeared in my kitchen stark naked, but I digress. This woman was oddly proportioned to say the least. Her legs were rather slim, but her mid section was rather large and her chest was gigantic. So gigantic, that she became a spectacle as she jostled (picture water balloons bustling about under cheap cotton). The woman was shameless. She returned to her seated position to carry on a conversation with a woman of the approximate same age. The other woman had a distinct, Polish accent. The woman with the mammoth chest was wearing Lee blue jeans and tennis shoes with a graffiti design. After being drawn to stare at the woman after watching her walk shamelessly across the playground, I honed on her activities to try and figure out her story. It was pretty evident that she was a nanny. She had a stack of magazines that included a large word search puzzle, an O magazine and some sort of Male men's magazine. I am not sure of the title but I have the distinct impression it was a pornographic magazine intended for homosexual men. I thought it in poor form for her and her friend to giggle and fawn over the pictures during broad daylight on a children's playground. I can't say she was especially a bad nanny. She did check on the children and knew where they were the whole time. On a side note, the entire time she was there, she ate sunflower seeds. It was a pretty disgusting spectacle. She was using a pepsi can as a make shift spittoon.
Who's Children: Yours? A girl named Leah or Brianne who is about 4 and her younger sister. Leah or Brianne is very pretty with brown hair, long and wearing a fuchsia shirt and striped leggings with a denim skirt. The little sister was very blonde, with fair eyes, wearing a yellow long sleeved shirt and denim jeans with a princess on the leg. The girls were very well behaved and played on the steps and had BRATZ dolls with them.
199 comments:
umm-and what did this nanny do that was so horrible? Ok so she has big boobs and needs to get a support bra, big deal?? Such a long post for absolutely no reason.
The way I read it is that this nanny had a pornographic magazine at the park conspicuous enough for OP to observe. At an active children's park is bad enough, but she had her charges with her.... what if the four year old observed it? That's pretty horrible. I might not fire nanny (I probably wouldn't have hired her to begin with), but I'd reprimand her, and warn her not to bring that sort of material around my kids.
this post just seemed to be a bashing on how this lady looked and carried herself. You even said that she was fine with the kids. Whats the big deal? Do you know it was a porno mag for sure?
whats the big deal with sunflower seeds lol
With all due respect-- how does the OP know for SURE it was a porn mag? I mean, seriously, SEX sells. bottom line. Perhaps a JcPenny ad the way things are today... lol. This post sounds more like a bitter casutic diatribe to those with bigger busts. If the children were well take care of then I see no reason to harp on this gal-- unless it was FOR sure pornography. I'm just sayin' :)
OMG, a magazine with men in it?? Big boobs without a bra--and ATE SUNFLOWER SEEDS?? Call the police.LOL. The way that this OP described this woman I think she may have a tendency to exaggerate-I highly doubt this magazine was pornographic. She was not neglecting the children.
Last I checked having big boobs and 'awkward proportions' was not a crime. I think the poster is being snooty. Who knows if it was a porn magazine? Those BRATZ dolls are equally heinous.
OK now, I'm confused. She had a plaid shirt over a tee-shirt. She would have to take the plaid shirt off in order to take the tee-shirt off. She took the tee-shirt off, and wasn't wearing a bra. So that leaves her topless?
The woman took off the plaid shirt for some point of her time at the park, revealing a blue t-shirt and no bra. How hard is that to understand?
Do you really think I would waste my time posting if the nanny was looking at a JC Penney catalogue? It was a pornographic magazine that the two of them were ogling, using her large puzzle magazine to shield the cover of the magazine.
I saw them giggling and passed behind them more than once. There were pictures of young, fair haired men with full frontal nudity. From where I sat across from them, I could see her turning the magazine at an angle to ogle larger- centerfold style shots. It didn't take a brain surgeon to know what was going on.
Don't you dare dismiss me as incorrect in my assumptions. Many a woman goes braless and I understand that is a preference, but this woman had no business going braless. I would think her doctor would likely advise her not to sleep braless, so to see her jiggling across the playground, making a spectacle out of her chest- was uniformly not okay.
If the assumption is that this is all good and well with you, then so be it.
Myself, I would prefer a properly clothed nany who didn't peruse porn on the clock and didn't spit seeds like a truckdriver into a can, but that's just me- I recognize that the people our children spend all day with are in fact going to shape who they become.
I don't know why people post on this blog anymore. It has been over run with idiotic nannies who do nothing but defend every nanny action. On the rare occasion, the idiot nannies cannot find a defense for the nanny, they then cycle back to, "I have seen mothers do far worse".
This blog is for reporting nannies that alarm you. This nanny alarmed the OP. Deal with it. Unless you are the parents of THESE children, SHUT THE F UP.
OP
Personally, I think you gave a disgustingly well visual, and I know I wouldn't want my nanny behaving in that manner, so thank you for reporting her.
OP,
I am sorry this upset you so much. But it really is the nanny's business if she wants to go braless. I don't really think that it effects the children in her care if her breasts are saggy and stuff. Trust me: your breasts are never the same after you have kids. :)
As far as the magazine: do we know that it was in fact pornography? What was the title of the magazine? Even Tiger Beat has fold-out center posters of The Jonas Brothers and Jesse McCartney and stuff. (I mean, I've heard. :))
Just trying to clarify here.
JoJo Bear:
I , for one, do not defend nannies who are neglecting a child, being rude, etc. Had the poster said she was reading porn, without a bra while the children were in harms way and she never checked on them then that would be a different story. I dont see how any of this is neglectful or alarming. I really don't think it was porn she was reading but- hey I wasnt so who knows. If it was porn then its not appropriate at a playground but at least it was covered with the crossword puzzles, as the OP pointed out. I am not idiotic and I take my job very seriously. I rarely defend nannies on here and I am not even defending this one-but the post was just so rediculous, IMO and I am entitled to feel so.
Umm...I have big breasts...does that make them your buisness, OP? This is crazy! You said the girls were playing nicely. Who wants their nanny constantly there with them? Kids need to learn to use their imaginations and have a sense of creativity! How is this a bad sighting that pertains to childcare?
No one, but NO ONE has the right to dictate to someone they must wear a bra. Where I am from, women have the legal right to be TOPLESS in public, if they so choose. It was deemed a discriminatory human right violation to legislate otherwise. And Lord knows I have seen some pretty indecent moobs (man boobs) flopping around town without anyone dictating anything about 'appropriate' support mechanisms to them.
I believe OP that the nanny was looking at porn. Unprofessional and childish, I agree. But she was clearly hiding it from her charges and looking at it in a 'jokey' way, not a smutty way. It makes a big difference to me.
The OP said herself that this nanny wasn't behaving in an alarming way
toward her charges, so her post is largely a rant about her physical appearance and her sunflower seeds. I'm sorry but that is snooty to me.
Rather than argue with the OP about what she saw and I didn't I'm going to take it at face value.
I can't beleive so many are indifferent to the fact that I nanny has a gay porn mag in her possesion during working hours... around her charges! For all the other reasons I could find fault with it the biggest is my kid. If that little girl were to accidently view it it would be increadibly confusing and troubling to her. I would be pissed that a nanny would risk that with my child. I don't care if you're discreet with it or careful about hiding it... why would you risk it??
OP,
I think some of us were confused because your two different posts were so different in what you saw: when at first you posted you said you "had the distinct impression" that the magazine was pornagraphic. Then when you updated you said that "There were pictures of young, fair haired men with full frontal nudity." Why did you leave this out of your first post and instead say you "got the impression."? When someone says they "got the impression" it means they were assuming or speculating.
If this magazine was pornagraphic, that was indeed a bad nanny. You would do better in the future, imo for focusing on the main issue, and not how the nanny's breasts were displeasing to your eyes. But thank you for the siting and I hope it does some good!
Umass,
What are you doing interrogating the very people this blog was set up for. Maybe she didn't want to detail the penises she saw! Maybe she was trying to be polite.
And in MY OPINION, I think it is so sad that you have set the bar so low that a braless porn fiend is perfectly okay, so long as the kids were not in harm's way.
as i read the post, it was the nannies swinging ditties that called attention to the nanny which made the nanny zero in on her and that is how the observer was watching her chew seeds and eye porn.
i aint no rocket science neither but that's how it sounds to me.
thanks op for posting.
umass and you other derelicts should be ashamed. this is not a debate. we are not here to interrogate the op's who submit sightings. if the site is going to work, we have to assume that posts are submitted in good faith as in something this op saw made her think "ew i wouldn't want her taking care of my child" and she wants to make sure the employer knows what SHE knows.
J
Do you think it's possible to get a point across without bashing someone .. like say, by calling them a derelict? BTW, it's "rocket scientist". Too bad you actually made a good point about respecting the OP's post, but it was lost when you started name-calling.
And melamonk
I think swinging bits, reading porn and spitting seeds is bad enough.. thank GOD she wasn't neglecting the kids! I normally like your comments, but you flunked this one.
melomonk and j,
I thanked OP for her siting and merely asked for clarification: it was not meant to be an interrogation, melomonk. I had questions and I asked them. I had an opinion and I stated it. Why don't you do the same without bashing other posters? Is it possible for you to do that? I completely respect all of the sitings that are sent in. I do, however, have the right to my own questions and comments. You should respect that.
LOL--- Paperbagprincess said "moobs" lmao! That was the pick me up I needed ALL day! Moobs... hahahaha
heh heh. Moobs. Narsty-ass moobs. I just like saying it...
(:
Are we seriously talking about a nannies boobs? Really? I can't say that some people don't wear the appropriate attire. But I am in no position to tell someone that. I live near scottsdale and i will say walking into a grocery store seeing 65 year old women clothed like Brittney spears is quite horrible. or women who push 250 pounds dressing like Brittney Spears! Still not my business. not wearing a bra - maybe if her knockers were that big, a bra might hurt her, and cut her shoulders. I have large breats for my small frame to support and my bra cuts into my shoulders, even if it's a sports bra. It might be more comfortable to her.
And looking at porn... done on your own time. But not saying that I don't want to sneak a peek while on the job, but I control myself!
Sounds to me this nanny was just completly out of control!! LOL!
OK, so obviously porn is public is bad. but why the need for such a detailed description of the woman's body? it seems cruel, distasteful and unnecessary. it takes away from the purpose of this site, which is to protect children from harm. it also takes away from the credibility of other future posters. think about it next time.
Also Jo Jo Bear,
you really want to know why so many people defend the nanny? why don't you think about the fact that some posters might hurt a nanny's job or reputation because of an irrational or hasty judgement, an overreaction, or a desire to post something interesting on this web site?
until you have a web site devoted to catching people doing a crappy job in YOUR profession, you have no busines telling nannies not to defend the nannies in the postings.
it's not just nannies who defend them either. some people have a heart and realize that there is no need to give in-depth critical details of a woman's body and then post detailed info about her because she presents or acts in a way that you disagree with.
sometimes i just can't believe there are really people like you and i am glad i have not met one while doing my job.
I'm just not sure what to think of the sunflower seeds. Would it be better if she spit them on the ground than in the can? Into her hand, then a can? Etiquette dictates one must only eat the already shelled variety?
OP, your point would have been better made in 2 sentences, primarily reporting the porn mag on the job, which is a no-no, and giving a basic description. I personally don't really care how you felt about her breasts deep down in your soul, and I get the impression most commenters here don't either, hence the reaction to your post.
I find it a strange assumption that someone would think only nannies are defending other nannies. I have defended a few nannies against what I thought were unfair sightings and I am not a nanny. Its like even pinker nanny says - there needs to be a counter balance on this site. It would be a horrible exercise in employer and class privilege otherwise.
She sounds tacky for sure, but it also sounds like she was paying attention to the children, which is the important thing. Not sure about the magazine - are you sure it was hers? Definitely inappropriate for a children’s playground!
Ok, I have avoided this thread because it seems like a potential powder keg.
The porn magazine at work alone would be enough for me to at least seriously rethink my nanny choice.
The other items, while (sorry OP) written with a bit of excessive...um..."gusto," still point to the possible "grace" and judgment of the woman in question. Since a nanny is very much an influence on the childrens behavior and attitudes about what is appropriate, I would definitely want my nanny to reflect my own values. Not that mine are necessarily superior to the next moms, but if these were my children, I would want them raised in the way I would if I were at home with them. I try to model modest and appropriate dress and manners. I wear a bra and I want my daughter to know that having her moobies that visible and attention worthy is not necessarily the best thing. So I would probably not hire this nanny because she sounds a lot "rougher" than what I think is ideal for my kids to learn. It's a personal decision. The parents in question in this post see nanny when she comes to work so they may not be bothered by the free floating moobies (well, at least until the nanny takes a sharp turn in her nannymobile one day and one gets caught up in the centrifugal force, flings itself violently around inside the car, and slaps one of the kids across the face.)
I do know that my daughter, while wanting to dress like the other kids her age, still makes modesty a prime consideration when choosing her clothing. In this day of whale tales, booty exhibitingly short skirts and titty tanks...even among the junior high set...I am plenty glad of it.
The sunflower seeds...I might put them in a soda can myself...although I might take the seeds out of my mouth with my fingers and put them in the can that way if people were nearby, because nobody really likes seeing somebody spit, especially when they might be eating their lunch. But I don't think that was a huge issue. I think OP was somehow very disgusted by the nanny and so everything she did seemed maybe a little more gross than it would with another person.
ha ha mom, lord help us if we some day come across a bad nanny sighting sighting featuring a poor little moob-slapped charge. ha ha
My assumption, like mom's, is that the parents know about the nanny's penchant for *unstructured* clothing and have indeed seen the full extent of her moobage. While she may not be the nanny you would choose, I think we have to assume that her employers do not have a problem with her appearance. If she is a good caregiver to those kids, then to each their own.
The porn thing was unprofessional, and I don't think anyone would disagree. If she is an otherwise good nanny than I call it a lapse in judgment and leave it at that. I bet what happened was she found the magazine at the park and was having a laugh.
mom, what is a whale tale?
Paperbag,
You know I never considered the possibility of her happening across the magazine at the park. But ewwwww, who would dare touch it if that was the case?! Yuck!
A whale tail (I spelled that wrong before...what a dufus I can be when I'm tired)is a thong arching up and out of the back of a girl's (well hopefully anyway) pants. Think about it. It looks like a whale's tail poking up out of the sea. Some think it's sexy. (Who these people are, I'd like to know.) To me, it only points to where the rest of it leads...which is not a pretty thought. (Although I must fess that I am a thong fan myself...having one of those bums that shows panty lines even in the allegedly pantylineless panties. I just try to keep that little tidbit a secret...so don't tell anybody, OK?)
Sounds like OP wanted some of that "male magazine" action. She passed by several times!
mom,
I too think that is really distasteful on young girls. I also refuse to buy my daughter any pants with words written on the butt. (shudder.)
Blech! I just thought about the implications of picking up a porno mag found in the park!! growdy!!!
Whale tail - makes perfect sense! I don't find that look one bit sexy. I confess I am a dinosaur when it comes to thongs. I will only wear one if there is no possible way around it. I will put on a pair of spanx in the summertime to cover my VPL before I'll wear a thong. There's something about them...I can't shake the feeling that my bum is being flossed. It disconcerts me!
NOT ANONOMOUS.... You just made my whole day!!! Best comment ever!!!!! Thank you! I came over from Jezebel and I needed to thank you!!! ANd yes, I have big floppy boobs and enjoy running through parks braless all the time!!!
okay,mom and paperbag..I am lmao reading your posts!! So,though I am derailing,I am going to share this with you.
First, I live in a area full of hippies. Woman go braless and whip em' out every two hours to feed their baby,their friends baby and any other baby within a 2 mile radius.The time or place is of no consequense. so, I guess I am used to boobs and just really don't have an issue with a nanny letting them fly at the park..
mom, I do however understand the influence that this nanny might have on a pre-teen or teen age girl.(or boy,my son says as he stands reading over my shoulder)TEE_HEE
Thank goodness toddlers could care less about boobs!
As for the whale tails..They are disgusting. I have on more than one occassion asked a waitress to pull her pants up while serving me and my family. My husband has another approach, he waits until dinner is over and asks if he can floss with it. He always gets the best reaction!He does this to any woman anywhere. One time he went as far as pulling his pants down and his shirt up so his chonies were hanging out as we passed by a young girl with her thong hanging out!(At Food for Less)you could see her crack..it was nasty. My husbnad asked if she wanted to compare chonies..she pulled her pants up and hit another aisle fast!
A long,long time ago at my bachelorette party, I got a beautiful white bra and thong for a gift!
I wore it while on my honeymoon trying to be sexy. (It replaced my granny panties that I am very loyal to)needless to say I picked my butt through the whole evening..my husband reassurred me "that was very,very sexy"..NOT!!! No thongs for me!!
More power to you mom!!
The poster seemed... awfully interested in the woman's body. And the magazine. I can't help but wonder if she's a little sexually repressed.
How cruel! I am so glad this poor woman was defended here by so many kind people. The person who posted this clearly has other, more serious problems.
does this moniker make my butt look big said...
I read what your husband did at the Food for Less. That wasn't even funny. Does anyone else agree with me? Here is the big difference your husband was the older adult, and she was a young woman. Maybe, a teenager.
i agree, whose the adult.
people who get all upset about underwear hanging out really bug me. first of all, you assume the person realizes it's showing. i have had it happen to me before and it wasn't on purpose!
second of all, i think it shows extreme insecurity and immaturity if you have to fixate on UNDERWEAR or even worse, confront someone about it! it's just UNDERWEAR!
i would have called the husband a creep to his face!
butt look big,
i think it's a little creepy you took joy in your husband's making a woman feel uncomfortable.
Bravo, mission accomplished, congratulations to you. you both performed a random act of nastiness.
Anyone showing ass-crack while serving food or shopping where I buy my food deserves any ridcule that they get.Anyone showing asscrack in public around my children deserves to be called on it!
Second..let me clarify..my husband and I are both well over 35 and anyone under 35 seems young to us..thus the term "young girl"
my husband & I have a teenager and while he would NEVER and HAS NEVER said anything to a teenager about this(accept while they are in our home),though there have been times he would like to,he has no problem addressing any adult,male or female with ther ass /underware hanging out!
And unlike many of you, he has a sense of humour and uses it when he sees something upsetting enough to warrant his public opinion about it.
The young girl in the store was anywhere from 22-30 and Thank you but I do not want to see her ass nor did my husband.
I find it amazing that you feel it is okay for a young women to show the crack of her ass out in public but are offended that my husbands chonies stuck out the back of his pants??
Are you seriously kidding me??
No wonder people run around like this..they have parents like all of you who think it is okay!!
Perhaps if you would have said something to your children when they were growing up,my husband would not have too!
As for your nasty remarks about what kind of man my husband is or me finding joy in my husband making a woman feel uncomfortable..oh puleeze..this is just your opportunity to pick on me..so go for it! But choose your battles wisely..you are way off base on this one!
underwelmed and he would have mooned you right then and there toots!!
its not about you, it's about his sense of humor..you see there is nothing that you can call him that would have upset him.It's called having a sense of humor..try it sometime!
Same with road rage..we don't buy into it..never flip them off..just stick your tongue out ..when you appraoch uncomfortable situations with humor(instead of getting all angry and bound up like underwelmed and creep)people don't know what to think and your BP still remains in tact!
So while you choose to call names and judge people based on a story or two,while obviously getting pissed off..we will continue to laugh ..probably at you if your nasty,yummy-smelling thong is hanging out!
BTW, Creep, UNderwelmed and who's the adult...you obviously chose not to use your true monikers..
here is the deal..I have respect for those that disagree with me but not for cowards who hide behind a false ID..of course I have no idea who you are because that kind of thing is against all the rules...
Glad you are back!!!I noticed lots of people missed you!!
BTW, my husband,unlike me,would have said something to the nanny with her boobs hanging out at the park too. He has no problem with a woman nursing a child out in public,but cannot stand women who show T& A as if they are walking around in their own home!
Hey BLB,
It's the same person using THREE different monikers that chose to be a big baby by doing that because they felt that what they had to say was SO UNIMPORTANT that they needed to use other aliases to back them up.!
SUCH A LOSER!!! HAHA!!!
BLB,
I personally feel that if a woman is going to dress unprofessionally when she is in a family restaurant environment, she deserves to be called out on it.
And to the multi-moniker person attacking BLB: I do not buy for a second that a woman would not know if her thong was showing. When you choose your outfit, you know how your pants are fitting and if you need a belt, wear one! I personally work with children on the weekends (just about to leave actually and am dressed in jeans (not low-risers!) a belt and a shirt that goes past my waist. Dress appropriately and you won't have anything to worry about. There is a time and place for everything. I think BLB's husband was pretty kind actually to joke about it in a light-hearted way: he could have just gone and complained to the management.
I think alot of young women need to have a little more respect for themselves. To have your thong showing when you are serving families is trashy. BLB's husband was doing that girl a favor. Too bad she probably didn't really get it and is most likely one of those young girls who posts pictures of herself drunk and making out with guys on facebook.
Dr. Phil, please help these girls!
And you rock, BLB!!!!
(hugs)
you poor sanctimonious nannies who have never known the joy of being ogled and so desperately craved by another woman's man. If only you knew the power of showing a little low class whale tail to the CEO who's wife hasn't let him see her nude since Reagan was president. The titilation from bending over and presenting a perfectly rounded ass (innocently of course) to a hungry, powerful man starved for the feel of a real woman. Or the smirk of gratitude one receives when allowing an innocent peak down a perky chest.. oh darlings, you just haven't learned. Be mindful of who writes those checks and decided those bonuses.
Forget the boobs. If there was a nanny viewing porn in my park or playground around my children, I would smack her upside the head, shake her violently until she spit out the name of her employers and drag her by the hair back to her employer's doorstep.
So why are you defending this pervert? What would you think if it was a male viewing female porn while watching a bunch of children play? And if he had little girls in his care- taking those little girls back to his house - all hopped up and stiff?
Sikkos.
Take action against these cretins.
Some background about me. I came over from Jezebel, I am a Republican delegate. I vote strictly conservative and attend religious services every Sunday.
I have what one might describe as a catastrophically ample bosom, very nearly requiring it's own zip code. While bras of most any creation of fabric are often uncomfortable, you will never find me flapping or flopping around in public.
This nanny sounds shameless. I say this not because of the reckless disregard for the children in the path of her bouncing mammaries but because of her need to ingest porn on the job. Has she NO boundaries?
The nanny doesn't sound shameless.
Let's consider a plaid shirt and the afformentioned "penchant" for sunflower speeds and use of a "make shift" spitoon.
Also consider that the nanny and her polish friend were laughing at the male porn.
The nanny was bra less and wearing a plaid shirt. And spitting sunflower seeds in a spittoon and LAUGHING at naked men.
Dare I say Lesbian?
123 ?,
To clarify, you are saying that because a woman appreciates a modest style of dressing and disproves of whales tales and trashy clothing, they automatically are "poor sanctimonious nannies who have never known the joy of being ogled and so desperately craved by another woman's man."
Are you a woman? Either way...
You are certainly entitled to your opinion, and if it makes you feel good to insult others (that you hilariously cannot see and do not know anything about) rather than contribute to an intelligent discussion regarding modesty/lack thereof, that is fine. But you only come off as a shallow, uneducated, immature snob. Women (newsflash) do have opinions, strengths, and talents that have nothing to do with their own body image. You obviously have problems if your self-worth is defined by your body and how you use it.
My own livelihood does not hinge upon what men think I am hot or not. You assume quite a bit about people you do not even know. And you know what they say about people who assume things. Furthermore, I hope you don't have a daughter. If you do, I fear that you will teach her that sexual power is something to use for manipulation and gain. I (proudly) teach my daughter that her strength comes from her mind and her heart.
But good luck with your way of doing things.
Your husband sounds like a pig.
Umass, you think that was KIND? I think it was disgusting and bordering on sexual harassment.
And no, you do NOT always know if your clothes are falling down a little..riding up a bit, even when you ARE dressed appropriately.
Her husband's actions and comments are not funny OR shocking, which is what I assume he was going for.
What a prude and uptight country we are. Bunch of puritanical, sexually repressed hypocrites we are.
No wonder our media depends so largely on selling sex. Overcompensation and shock value for us closet "perverts."
Oh no! Not big floppy tits! Uh oh! A piece of FABRIC is showing outside of someone's pants! Ugh. Get a grip.
However, I DO agree looking at porn at a child's playground is extremely inappropriate and that ALONE is what OP should have reported.
I'm disgusted by this whole thread. The snobbery and elitist banter back and forth is ridiculous.
jj,
I appreciate your opinion. However, I respectfully disagree. While there is no excuse for sexual harrassment, I don't really think that was BLB's husband's intent. I think his intent was to let the woman know that she should dress appropriately around families and kids. But I am far from a snob and an elitist.
I think that while a woman has the right to dress however she wants to, she will inevitably recieve attention that she doesn't want if she dresses inappropriately. There is a time and place for everything. It may not be what people like to hear, but it's the truth. I live in a college city, and there are always young girls walking around at night dressed, (sorry) like whores. And they don't understand that they are just asking for trouble. Does any woman deserve to be sexually harrassed, even if she is dressed like a whore? No, of course not. Is it foolish to dress like a whore and expect men not to sexually harrass you? Yes, I think it is. I am not saying they deserve it, I am just saying that it will happen. It's just the way life works. I certainly don't think that someone's thong showing is the most important issue in the world. It just happens to be one of the issues up for discussion. Not really a big deal: some of us just happen to think that it's trashy.
Women should use their heads. It doesn't mean they have to be a prude or uptight: they should just be...classy. Being sexy is more than showing your thong. I personally think our media is so intent on selling sex because they want girls to believe that they have to dress like a victoria secret model in order to be sexy. Our media tells girls that it neccesary to dress provocatively in order to have power and respect. Our media is perpetuating the attitude that women's bodies are what is important.
JXJ, your remark about my husband was rude and way out of line.
I have in the past disagreed with MUCH of what you say but NEVER called you a name or took a personal dig at you.
You have every right to disagree with how my husband might handle something.
I will however say I am shocked that you would sink so low as to name call..
For the record,not that I have to defend him to you, My husband has the utmost respect for women that respect themselves and that respect those around them. However, you are right, he does not have any respect for a women who has such low self esteem that she needs to draw attention to herself by dressing suggestively revealing her T& A to my small children or our 16 yr old son!Especially in a public,family orientd place..IE..a Super market or cafe.
Never have I carried a grocery bag or opened my own door since I have been married. Never has a women over 40 stood on a bus when my husband is around. If he did not have a seat to offer,he will find the first male under 50 and suggest that they give theirs up for her..and they always do.(Funny they don't think to do this before my husband or son suggest they do so?) Never have I seen a women open her own door at any public place if my husband is there. Never have I seen a women begging on a street corner for food go without if my husband is walking by as he alsways hands me money to give to them.My "PIG" of a husband is more of a man than most men I know. He is a loving father who comes home to his wife and children every night and spends his weekends at the pumpkin patch,park or what ever else he can do to spend time with us!
And for the record, i am a plus size Penny and my husband makes me feel like the most beautiful women in the world and the sex is great too!
So, JXJ, while you undoubtedly have a perfect man who you feel is much less of a pig than my husband, let me just tell you, I would not trade him for the world. I thank God for him every night. I know that I was a really good girl in another life time that God would bless me with such a loving husband and wonderful father for my children.
As for your name calling. You know better and I doubt highly that you teach your charges that as you appear to be a very mature and responsible nanny from your posts.
I don't hold any ill feelings for you but I do
feel you owe me an apology.Of course that is just how I feel..weather you actually do or not ..well..who really cares right.
Now that I know how you feel and you know how I feel, I guess this post is over for me.
If you'll excuse me my children & I are going to go to the park and play with our pig!
well said, BLB! I don't think your husband did anything wrong.
Oh my god...unlike some of you, I am not on this thread to kiss ass and make friends. I'm not apologizing because I am not sorry. If that makes me rude, so be it. It sure as hell doesn't make me desperate and phony though. You're going to resort to making comments about my charges because I think your husband is disgusting? Come on now..That's a bit passive aggressive and I don't buy it nor am I offended. Nice try with that one though.
I don't have any ill OR GOOD feelings towards you. I DON'T know you! The lovey dovey, BFF 4 EVER crap on this blog is getting a bit silly. Give it a rest.
Thanks umass, and I know even if you did think what he did was wrong,you most certainly would not call him names...if anything you'd tell me what he is not..(M.Pitt) Tee-hee
luv ya, BLB
I really am off to the park now!!
Hey BLB
Not from just your description today, but from other times you've talked about your husband, I've always thought he must be so super cool and funny. I also think you are one of the most hilarious posters on this board (you and Umass!), so don't let a negative comment like that bother you. The both of you sound like a rare gem indeed!
Awww, I love that BFF 4 EVER crap!
BLB, you rock babygirl!
BLB-I think your husband sounds really rude. You build him up to sound fantastic yet tell the supermarket story and said he would have approached the lady in the park wearing no bra. What business is it of his to approach anyone?
A quote from you
"So while you choose to call names and judge people."
Excuse me isn't this what you're doing BLB, judging?
I agree with Jersey on this one. And seriously if you call yourself a plus size penny one more time I'm going to puke. We get it, you're fat.
And tell the waitress he wants to floss with her underwear is sexual harassment.
LOL regular
And I agree with the latest statement from Jersey. This is a ass kissing site.
regular & who's the adult
stop playin', you know you're the SAME PERSON. What a frickin' jackass you are. I'm so sick of yellow-bellied piss ants like you that are too afraid to stick with one name.
Why would you think I am the same person? Just because I agree with what some of the posts said?
I can say YOU are using different names. Whose to say.
Trust me I am not Regular.
If I could prove it I would.
who's the adult
How could I be two different people when there's only been one other post here disagreeing with you? Yep, you really are a jackass!
Would you want your teenage daughter to come home and tell you some old man pulled down his pants and told you do you want to compare underwear?
Come on, if anyone on here has a daughter you wouldn't think it was funny what this guy did. I can't imagine a father thinking it would be okay. Even if the girl was showing a little too much, thats what teenagers do. I think alot of people forget how they were as teenagers. Personally, my husband would probably be put in prison if some guy did this in front of us at the supermarket.
?
Fakers!
...who cares?
Relax.
who's the adult
See? It's much easier to take someone seriously when their not engaging in slinging insults like you did last night and just now.
So no, I wouldn't like it. But I also wouldn't allow my daughter out of the house like that, so it would never happen to her.
And to jersey, I'm about as relaxed as they come. I find all of this quite amusing, including your obnoxious post earlier calling one of the regulars husband a pig. That was uncalled for. I thought you were classier than that.
You THOUGHT I was classier? What does CLASS have to do with any of this? It's a friggen BLOG! I am not here to prove myself to any of you, only to partake in discussion and read other peoples' views on childcare and child-rearing. I am not your little internet buddy. I have enough friends offline. I never gave any indication that I wanted to make friends on here.
You're all so bent out of shape because I called some stranger's husband a pig based on her description of his behavior (which by the way, epitomizes CLASSLESS) If BLB wasn't a regular, you guys wouldn't care less. Like I keep saying, GET A GRIP! I offer my opinions based on what I read, not who I like or dislike.
How was I slinging insults? Lets see you are the one that called me a jackass. I never ever cursed on this site.
Jersey
Of course this isn't about "making friends", but a certain amount of respect follows a regular poster for several reasons in MY book. And if this was all about your desire to "only partake in discussion and read other peoples' views on childcare and child-rearing, well then, you should keep your big yap shut when other topics are brought up.
And who's the adult
Someone with your moniker was on here last night being ugly, and I'm sorry, but I am quite sure many would take offense to your having said "this is an ass kissing site". As a matter of fact, I think it is far from being one. All you have to do is look around at all of the bickering to see that.
Fakers!, you sound angry. Like I suggested earlier, relax... none of this is really THAT big a deal. One regular said something offensive to another regular. Oh no. Call in the troops.
Really though, someone gains respect simply because they post a lot on a blog? That's a strange way to look at things. I don't respect BLB's husband or HER reaction to HIS actions. SO WHAT!? Hopefully she will get over it. I think she will be OK.
You see, I hand out my respect with more diligence. I don't give it away to just anyone in order to maintain my place in the cyber mob mentality.
I just wanted to post that I feel very lovey-dovey about so many posters on this blog, including you blb, nynanny, and the list goes on! :)
hugs and kisses from umass! :) muuuwhaaa!
You're wrong, Jersey. What earns MY respect is a poster that regularly posts sensitively and thoughtfully. And yes, occasionally, I like a little bit of wit and sarcasm. I have my favorite posters here, like most do. Just because one of them makes a comment I disagree with, that does not mean I'm going to stop liking them. Personally, Mom, Umass and BLB are my favorites, and I think quite a few would agree that for the most part, they are great posters, so yes, I'm going to put my two cents in and if you don't like it, too damn bad.
And who's the adult
I don't know if you were the same person using other monikers or not, so if you weren't, I am sorry for lumping you in with them. It just pisses me off when people can't stick with one name throughout an argument because they are afraid no one else will side with them.
Fakers...I don't care anymore. The end.
Goddamn.
Wow Jersey, you sure are a blasphemous bitch. Could you not use any of the other thousand and one curse words out there? You are really raw, that's for sure!
Why do you assume everyone believes in god? Blasphemy is not an issue with me and a large percentage of the rest of the world. Don't be so dramatic.
You're a hypocrite. You're whining to me about name calling and respect and you're doing the exact thing you deem so inappropriate and not up to blogging standards. I couldn't care less how you feel about me, but at least own up to your contradictions.
Raw? I'd rather be raw than insincere, phony and without conviction. There is a BIG world beyond isawyournanny. This isn't important. You are not important to me and I shouldn't be important to you.
Let's agree to disagree about ALL of this and move on. I promise, in the scheme of things, it's NOT a big deal. Ok?
Butt looks fakers
Calm the hell down. Everyone has a different opinion it's called AMERICA. Can't believe you're wasting your Saturday freaking out.
If that last post at 907 pm was aimed at me..I have not posted all day after my 339 post to umass..
I welcome jane and MPP to verify that if they would like or can.(Though it is a waste of their time!)
I most certainly was NOT engaged in this flame war. I had my say and was done with it,so to "regular at 907" with your cute little implication"butt looks fakers"..I get it. You think my husband is RUDE!! You think I am posting with other monikers!Good for you. BUT I have been out all day showing my PIG off around town and have not been playing at the computer!So,you are wrong and you need to step off!!
JXJ, I did not come to this site looking for friends either..that was just a bonus along the way.I have also made many enemies as I do not hold back and say what is on my mind weather I like a poster or not!That is one of the FEW cons of this site. Mom, Umass and many others have all disagreed with me at times. But we respect each other and don't call names.I learned my lesson a long time ago about that!
For the record, I was no where near the computer today after my one and only response to you.
I am sure you don't care,but I do, as I have worked really hard to keep that inner troll in me buried far,far away since I was asked to do so many moths ago!! (I know it was not you who implied it but the implication was made))I just wanted to make sure you knew that!
As far as you NOT caring because you don't know me..you made your point and it is WELL taken!I was simply trying to be decent as we both post quite often and I did not want any animosity between us..my bad! Passive-aggressive..NO..I just got soft for a moment.
Though I HATED what you said about my husband,I have always thought highly of you as a nanny based on your posts. I am sorry you feel it was some kind of jab? I do not have to hate you just because I HATE what you said about my husband.That was ALL I was trying to convey. Someday, you will have a partner in life who may do something that others disagree with.I doubt highly that you would agree with them if they referred to him as a smelly, round,stinky,muddy (but yummy tasting)barn animal and..if you truly love him/her,you will feel as compelled as I do to stand up for him/her..whatever. I HOPE that if I did not stick up for my husband many of you would be dissapointed in me as a women and a wife!!
And you are right..this is just a web site..but we all have something in common or we would not be here in the first place..that alone unites us..just a little.
And for those of you unable to read..(yes, that would be YOU..who's the adult)I will spell it out for you,as I clarified earlier..the chick was NOT A TEEN..she was atleast 22 and could have very well been 30! Her ass was not what I wanted to see while buying beans & weenies!! Take it to tha bar!!
And regular..get your puke bag ready cause this PlUS SIZE PENNY wants to tell you..Yes,I am fat but you're ugly ..and I can lose weight!!
More bounce to the ounce baby..
fakers,nynanny,umass& not a park slope nanny..thanks!! You're all my BFF'S( I had to ask my son what the second F was for,after he stopped laughing,he told me)Sometimes I feel ancient.Talk about ancient..
I played WII tonight for the first time..that was a hoot!
Bowled from 430pm until 9pm,I sucked but it was fun!
It's late and I am rambling! Cheers everyone!
I know some Posters do get upset when others try to use their moniker or "impersonate" them.
BLB is not Fakers.
Plus size fatty:
You stated it was a young girl in the supermarket. Go back and read what you wrote. If someone is reading that more likely they are thinking of a teenager.
I am not responding anymore after this.....
Boring
Really you need to lighten up!!
Whos the adult
You're a plus size asshole!
Thank you. Your so kind : )
"I am not responding anymore after this....."
whos the adult/8:14am
liar.
Seems to me you can dish it, but you can't take it, honey. Maybe you should quit while you're ahead.
Next time, watch who decide to insult, because you won't win here. I'll stick up for any one of the regulars here, whether I like them or not.
well, ah do declare, you young whippersnappers are fit to fry here, aint ya? golly darn and smack me with a pig tail, but ya'll need to be more polite!
to all the hussies dressin like they're workin' the sidewalks:
ah think it's disgraceful the way young girls go around like they're fixin to pole dance and then they complain that they ain't getting the respect they deserve. it's just disgraceful. if you want to attract flies, keep pourin' corn syrup all over youselves cus that's what's gonna happen. I declare, the girls who live around my trailor park dress better than some of these high-class hussie nannies who think it's just fine and dandy to have their little stringy undies hangin' out.
ah pray for you all: amen and sweet potatoes.
amen and sweet potatoes?
Oh.my.god., lol!
OK...so now that we've cleared that up...lets move on, ladies :-)
The "free exchange of ideas" depends not just on an absence of censorship but on people willing and able to speak their minds.
:)
All this over a woman's right to show her hiney at the grocery store? I suppose that's a right worth defending to the end....?"
I will say this about fighting with people on the blog. There was a poster here, many moons ago, who I disagreed vehemently with many times. We even began to criticize one another's posts just because the other wrote them, whether they were good or not...bright, eh? Finally one day it dawned on me that neither of us was acting any better than the other...even though I'm sure we each were 100% convinced at the time that we were in the right. And I wondered if "winnig" an argument on a blog was worth the potential for really hurting somebody's feelings badly. The answer was "no." In the end, I owe that poster a debt of gratitude, because that poster actually became the poster that I have learned the very most from...about what kind of person I would like to be, how I want to treat other people, and how to try to react when I disagree. If that poster is here today, please accept my heartfelt apology for those times. I have felt bad about that ever since. And I hope the rest of you are blessed enough somewhere along the line enough to run across somebody like my former foe and really learn to "love your enemies."
And for the record, if my daughter came home and told me somebody like BLBs husband had reacted that way to her having her butt on display in the store...she would get into trouble for having her a** out in public. While I"m sure it was a shock for the girl, hopefully it embarrassed her enough that she will think twice about going out like that. And because BLBs husband was accompanied by his wife and child and in a grocery store, as opposed to alone on a dark street corner late at night for example, I think the ick factor of him being a man doing this to a 20 something woman disappears completely. Dad types need to look out for the welfare of other people's kids when they can. If this young woman's parents disagree with BLB's husband's methods of teaching manners, well then perhaps they ought ot have taught her better at home, so strangers wouldn't have to do it for them...perhaps is a way that they don't choose.
oh mom: I have to share a story at the risk of outing myself as being completely stupid (once upon a time) and foolish and extremely, extremely dumb. You are absolutely right that "dad types" need to look out for young girls. When I was in my early 20's, after graduation, I was on my own. My mom had passed away and my dad was going through a difficult time to say the least. I lived pretty far away from him, too. Anyway, to make a long story short, I didn't always use my head when I should have. While dressing provocatively was never my problem, I did do things that were, looking back, enough to get me killed. Example: hitchhiking. I am cringing at how dumb you and everyone must think I was (am) to have done that. Obviously I would never do it again because guess who picked me up one time when I was hitchhiking to work: a "dad type" with a kids carseat in the back. The whole way to my job he lectured me on how I was so lucky that he was not a psychopath and he made me promise never to hitchhike again.
Well, to be completely honest, it was a promise I kept. Maybe he was my guardian angel, I don't know. But I want to thank him.
I am sure BLB's husband would have done the same thing in that situation, which is waaaaaaaaaay more stupid than having your thong showing.
Thank God I learned and grew up without getting hurt. Thank God for older people who care.
Don't worry Umass. We ALL did a lot of stupid things in our youth. How many times have I said, "I'm so lucky I didn't get killed?" Can't most of us say that about at least one act of stupidity in our pasts?
Which is why it takes a village....
Dad types...thank you for taking the time to help out a misguided oyung person, when the next person to come along may not have had your pure motives at heart! I always tell my friends that if they see my kids do something they wouldn't want theirs to do, PLEASE let me know.
Oh come on...the girl was in her 20s. Whose right is it to decide whether or not she's MISGUIDED?
Holy crap, god forbid I bend over one day and my TAG is hanging out of my jeans, I hope there's someone there to get me back on the right path to moral salvation.
This is all SO silly and pretty intrusive. I agree that young women are bombarded with provacative images and have this insane and dangerous ideal of what they SHOULD look like..but the answer is not to publicly berate and embarass them. In fact, I'm not sure if any of you are interested, but I just signed up through Dove (the soap) to receive training materials to host a self esteem workshop for young girls. Also, there is a website you can go to, iambeautiful.org, which allows you to volunteer for a variety of different self esteem mentor programs.
That's how you help. Not by cutting strangers down, sexually harassing them in the name of humor or embarassing them and calling it DAD-TYPE discipline.
That's great that you are doing that workshop JJ, I have seen the commercials.
My theory on building self-esteem in young women is to model good behavior. Not to model thongs.
Well, then who's to say, for example, that this Dad type didn't have the right to show off his "jeans tag" too? Maybe he self expresses best when his a** can breathe? Shouldn't that be his right as well? And if she can force him and his family to look at her butt, why shouldn't they be able to force her to look at theirs, if the so desire and feel freely moved, to impose upon her?
By your standard, who is to say he is misguided then? Maybe he looked at her a** crack, thought it was the latest fashion (because, you know we all have to do what everybody else does, even at the expense of our dignity...in a completely ironic effort to assert our rights at "self expression" and "individuality") and thought to himself, "Damn that looks good. I want to wear my pants that way too, so I can be fashionable and young looking too."
So, maybe he just asked the young lady if she thought his a** crack looked as hot on aisle 5 of the supermarket as hers did?
So, she's OK and he's misguided?
What's good for the goose is good for the gander IMO. I'm just glad nothing round and curious looking was laid right then and there in the store, since it sounds like everybody was appropriately attired for...whatever it might be...to drop unhindered onto the lineolum...bringing a whole new level of meaninng to the phrase, "Cleanup on Aisle 5!"
PS A girl who feels it in any way increases her beauty or worth to show what should be her private parts in public is already lacking in self esteem. Maybe by somebody pointing out to her that it is not cute and is, in fact, offensive, she will be moved to act in a more dignified and self respecting manner in the future. Then maybe she will attract the attention of some of the good hearted, decent men out there, who want to associate with real ladies of character and morals...instead of feeling doomed to settle only for the attentions of letcherous pigs who give attention only to the girls who are willing to show a little skin up front (because why bother dating a girl if they're not SURE she'll put out on the first date, and ideally before he has to go to the expense of actually buying her a meal or pretending to have any respect for her.)
And that is why it is important for us to impress upon this younger generation, however we can, that standards need to be raised and young girls need to stop selling themselves so short.
This will make your job as a Dove rep all the easier in the long run. And that is so great of you to do that jxj! We all need to help in the ways that we believe will help. It really is a village. And that is a TRUE example of self expression and individuality. best of luck to you with that. It sounds very worthwhile. Sounds, in fact, like something that might very much interest me when my own kids are grown.
Mom I thought your kids were already grown?
MY daughter and I attened a conference for teen girls and there was a particular lecture, given by a 20s something guy (which made it all the more effective), called "Target or Treasure."
He asked the girls to be thinking the whole time he spoke about whether they wanted to be targets or be treasured. (Because its darn near impossible to be both at once.)
He described for the girls how boys have some girls they treasure and would want to have as a girlfriend whether she ever let them do anything wrong to her or not...and that they would actually probably not want to do such things to her out of the immense respect they have for these "good" girls. (Treasures) But he then also explained that guys are also pretty horny creatures and so some also may have some girls they are willing to just "do"...no emotions attached. He said that they would likely never value or have feelings for these "easy" (Targets) girls, no matter what the girls let them do to their bodies.
He then explained how guys go about deciding which girls are which, and so, also decided how to approach them and how to treat them. He explained how very visual guys are and that the way a girl dresses is the FIRST cue a guy has to go on about how easy a particualr girl might be.
So, obviously, if a girls clothes scream, "I'll let you do me" (and whale tail was specifically mentioned as a good first clue...as was visible parts that ought to be private), she's going to attract the guys who want to use her and throw her away afterward...or use her repeatedly while he has his eyes out for a girl he can truly respect to actually care for. If a girl is just getting this kind of gross attention, eventually she is going to come ot believe that that is just how all guys are...and she will end up settling for some jerk who treats her like crap instead of a great, respectful guy (those who would never ask her out if she looked like a target because they aren't typically into girls who look and dress like they might, and so probably have, done it with tons of guys)who would treasure her for a lifetime.
That's what I'm trying to convey. And why I think this particular personal chooice is NOT OK for these young girls. And why I defend the man in question here who tried to shame her into covering her assets, and hopefully come out tomorrow looking just a little bit more like a treasure.
Nope adult. I still have two of them here. Both in high school for the first time this year though...so I am getting sad about my eventually empty nest.
I am trying to spend as much time as possible with them until that time. ;0)
mom,
you are a wonderful mom. your kids and husband are very lucky.
Awww, thank you Umass. That is very sweet of you to say.
(Although I hafta admit some are feeling a little less lucky than others today, since I am doing laundry and GASP making them put their clothes away and clean their rooms in an ongoing and increasingly futile effort to reduce our weekday responsibilities...and therefore, pandemonium! hehehe)
With all due respect mom and Umass I don't think what BLBs husband did was "dad type." I think it bordered on the line of sexual harassment. Pulling her aside and quietly telling her she's offending him and his children is one thing but to make fun of her in front of other people is uncalled for. Mom as I'm sure you know children make mistakes. Being honest with yourself, do you seriously think your reaction to your child would be "well pull your pants up" if a grown man harassed her at a grocery store? I personally think your mothering instincts would kick in and you would feel the need to protect her against CREEPS. If it was my daughter I would kick this guy in his junk and report him for harassment.
I'm sorry jersey, but you are so harsh and mean, I have a hard time believing you'd do anything good and humane, especially devoting your time to helping others.
I am not suggesting that it's ok to INTENTIONALLY let your thong, ass, boobs whatever it may be, hang out for all to ogle. My point was, BLB's husband never should have done what he did to those two women. He could have gotten his point across in other ways. His behavior and conduct, much like that of "whale tale" women you speak of, aren't leaving an admirable impression in anyone's mind either...since we're on the subject of positive role models and whatnot....
Well, believe it pissedoff. Surprises occur all the time! Today is your day I guess. Congrats.
regular,
I'm not hugely emotional over this subject either way, so I can't really say for sure what I would do if it were my daughter, but I know I would be plenty peeved at her for baring her butt in public. And I suspect I would make that clear to her in no uncertain terms, probably before I thought about the dad in question. If something sounded skeevy, sure, I would be pissed. But this was a grocery store and his wife and kid were with him....so it seems less sexual and more "hey, pull your britches up" to me. But that's just me, and I certainly don't judge anybody for their opinions on this, since it's really a very discretionary matter. I can't say for sure how I would feel about that exact thing happening to my daughter, but then, my daughter is 14 and very shy and modest, whereas the woman in question here is is her 20s (and presumably a little less shy and modest, which can be easily inferred based on her choice of dress.)
I am probably extra concerned with modesty and how a girl presents herself since I have a young teen daughter...and her dressing like that would be a real problem for me. I would fully expect her to get all kinds of remarks of varying degrees of propriety if she drug her bare butt all over town on display for all the world to see....kids, pervs, horny teen boys, dirty old men, and conservative people who might be just plain offended. I just shudder to think of the encounters that might facilitate...which is, again, why I am not so opposed to the "shocked straight" version of aversion therapy here.
I am just saying this is not an unexpected reaction. I have watched the faces of people in crowds when a whale tail arrives on the scene. There is always a visible reaction from everybody who sees it...and then they poke their friends to look at it... icky faces are made, noses wrinkled, and often ugly comments are made just loud enough for the offender to hear. So, no I"m not surprised that this happened to this girl...and she has probably had other unpleasant encounters if she is used to showing a lot of crack on a regular basis.
Its sort of like people who dress to be intentionally shocking and antisocial and then complain when people stare at them. What's up with that?
ooooh, goodness. This thread has taken quite a turn. Well, I don't know if another opinion is really all that necessary here...but I'll let fly anyway.
I have to say that I was also skeeved out Moniker Make My Butt Look Big's husband calling out the thong wearer like he did. I'm sorry, I don't mean any disrespect and I'm sure he is not a creepy guy at all, but that was a creepy action that made him LOOK like a creepy guy. If I was reading the story right he pulled his pants does past his b@lls? I'm sorry, that is just not cool. And not funny. Can I floss with your underwear?? WTH?? How is this ok to say to anyone in any circumstance? Any kind of social grace would dictate that if someone's attire was offending you, you say NOTHING or if you must, you ask for a word with the person out of earshot of others. And when you throw in the age difference...agh. Moniker, you sound like someone with a wonderful sense of humour and I'm glad you get a kick out of your husband, but you might want to let him know that his 'humour' is coming across as pervyness, for his own good.
Mom, I am glad you and your daughter found that lecture useful, but I have concerns...I know nothing about the substance of the lecture beyond what you've told me and I can certainly see the value of this for a young woman who is facing the pressures associated with coming of age. I absolutely don't want you to think I am criticizing because I only bring this up as a counterpoint to consider. I am concerned that these types of 'purity lessons' implicitly condone viewing women with a simplistic type of madonna/whore dichotomy. Instead of listening to some MAN telling me how MEN view women and which type of women they view more highly, I'd sooner listen a strong, proud, sassy woman affirm my strength and wonderfulness independent of what men think.
Its sad it seems everyone is picking on Jersey. She just stated her thoughts like how I did. And I totally agree with what she says. Its okay to disagree or agree. Thats what makes it an interesting site. If we all had the same feelings on subjects it sure would get boring.
So what does everyone think of a woman showing clevage? How many women I see showing off their chests. And I don't see anything wrong with that. I do the same. I don't wear shirts up to my neck. I love wearing tank tops, v-necks,etc.
Ohmygosh paperbagprincess! He didn't show his balls!...unless I read it wrong. Naturally, that would be uncool because it is an actual criminal offense. I think he showed the top of his butt, just like the girl, because he asked to compare hers with his...and she has no balls. (And if she did and they were showing, I'd say it should rightfully be a free for all as far as unsolicited commentary...heehehe.)
And I get what you're saying about the whore/madonna thing...but what is absolutely shocking and horrifying to me is the numbers of little girls...12, 13...some even younger...who are having sex. I hear these girls stand up in these seminars and tell about real life things that happen to them or their friends...and I am just appalled by the horrible, horrible pressures that these children are under to do things that I had never even heard of at their ages...and they are rampant. We went to something similar on Saturday and several of the moms, myself included, sat there actually crying (and if you knew how much I hate crying in front of people, you would realize what that says..it was absolutely heartbreaking) as these girls stood up, one by one...mostly churchgoing girls, I might add (not that they are any better...but just to point out that these are not fatherless daughters of neglectful, drug addicted parents who have had to make their own way on the mean streets, but sweet, innocent little girls whose parents have been there, for the most part, making some sort of effort with them. there is no such thing as a sstereotypical "bad girl" anymore. It could be any little girl. ANY.), and told stories of being victimized by boys who had convinced them that they cared for them. They were so wounded and bewildered...innocence gone...and they weren't even sure how they got to that place, some of them. So I think that , while they are this young, and unable to use the reason and wisdom and "pride of strong confident womanhood" that we here have LEARNED AND EARNED through years of making our own mistakes, we have to set some black and white concepts in front of them, just to keep them protected until some of that other stuff kicks in a little bit. The stakes are so much higher today than I could have ever imagined...and the mistakes we made way back when can actually kill today.
I learned some parenting things that I found verey wise and useful. I will share them here sometime...either en masse, or one at a time as the subjects come up.
And BTW I hope nobody sees my opinion as picking on anybody. Differing opinions are what makes the blog interesting...but I do like it best when it's respectful....especially since I like just about everybody here quite a bit and I hate to see people I like hurting one another.
My ample bosom and well placed tank top have gotten me in many a door (and hustled out the back door just in the knick of time).
OMG PBP you are killing me!!
This is like an add your own noun,adjective and animal Fun Mad Libs!!! Tee-hee.
I can see we have a case of VERY over active imaginations,a little feminist attitude towards men and poor authoring because so far, as I see it:
A skeevy perv..sexual harrassment, a lot of drama and my husbands balls have all been added to my story!!What fun!
So let me clarify. My husbands underware band stuck out the top of his undies and he pulled his shirt up to just above the belly button as the back would have covered the undies! His pants were only 2 inches lower than normal when he did this!
Please beleive me his balls and ass crack were safely concealed as they ALWAYS are when out in public. He wanted to compare "chonies"(which I was pretty sure I stated but..maybe not) not asses or balls or anything else!
I did not realize I needed to clarify so many details. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine where this would go.
So yes, I could see how her ass crack, which was actually showing in a Supermarketwith families shopping on a weekend afternoon was far less offensive than my husband mocking a 30 yr old woman while letting the top of his underware stick out of his pants!
give me a break suffragettes!!!!
For the record. I do not think anyone picked on JXJ and in fact I beleive that her posts are usually respected. I think she got the attention she did because of the nasty name she chose to call my husband and because though she claims to have such ill feelings for him she continues to fixate on him in every post on this thread. She has mentioned him no less than 6 times in this thread.She made her point.. that in its self is bound to draw attention.
let it go already!she made her point..over and over and over!
and so did the multi tasking,several monikered,single handed poster!
There is a huge difference between posting an opinion and silly name calling!Of course that will put people on the defense.
But the additions to the story did make it more fun!!!!
I cannot wait to see the reaction on my husbands face tonight when I tell him his balls were the topic of conversation..??!! Tee-hee
cheers!!!
"multi tasking,several monikered,single handed poster"
Face it Butt looks Sydney White you have more than one person who thinks you and your stories are annoying.
Skipping ahead here. Good gravy people, do you all seriously believe that women go around with their thongs sticking out of their jeans ON PURPOSE so that creeps and dirty old men can smirk and make obnoxious tacky comments which they seem to feel are "helpful", "fatherly", "clever" or "seductive"? It's called accidental display, folks. You've never had the top button on your shirt comeopen, right? I guarantee all those of us who don't wear mom jeans and granny panties have surely had it happen on occasion BY ACCIDENT, but I'm willing to bet we weren't confronted by some creep dropping his pants while his fat wife snickered at how cute she thought he was. Because guess why...most guys are NOT that tacky.
Yes, look it up in Emily Post. It doesn't matter how rude YOU think someone else is being, it is STILL RUDE of YOU to react rudely to them. I am not claiming I am never rude but it's nothing short of ludicrous and hilariously hypocritical for BLB to bat her eyelashes and pull the old "who, little old ME and my perfectly gallant hubby?? How dare you insinuate such goddamn bullshit you uncouth name calling BITCHES, now fuck off!" Sorry but coming in on this at this point in the lengthy discussion, that's what I see.
As an example, 2 years ago, I was taking my little guy for us both to get our flu shots, wearing brand new jeans paired with the appropriate length of shirt and the first pair of underwear I pulled from my drawer because you know how moms of 2 year olds somehow don't have much spare time to model various outfits in front of their mirrors before leisurely heading out to their daily appointments. At some point after the whole ordeal, I was horrified to see that one of my shirts had hitched up and wouldn't you know it, a bit of neon orange thong was visible above the jeans, which as it turned out, fitted a bit looser than I realized. Believe me, I was not "trying to look sexy" as I filled out the paperwork, dug out both our medical cards, and stood in line waiting for the matronly nurses to give me my flu shot and then help my little guy through the process, then cuddle him, comfort him, and tote him and everything else back down the block and through the parking garage.
And BLB, despite your revised description of the 30-something "young girl" (which one was it anyway?) and your husband's pulling his shirt up instead of pulling his pants down, your story still stands that he makes it a favorite habit to tell waitresses, in front of his kids, that he would like to floss his teeth with their undewear. Exactly HOW is that meant to be "fatherly" or "helpful"? It's disgusting and tacky.
Ooops, sorry for my F-word. I forgot to "encrypt" it when I typed it.
Is everybody about done now? I have certainly seen a side to several different posters I had never seen before! I didn't know some of you had it in you. Yeah, what BLB's hubby did was a bit crude, but you come off like not a one of you has ever done anything obnoxious in your life. I can't believe the big fricking deal being made here over a stupid thong, and some guy cracking a joke about it in a supermarket. I've been with friends who wore something a little slutty or slinky and there's been a time or two a stranger called them out on it. And trust me, they didn't feel as though they were being "sexually harassed". I think that is going a bit too damn far. Save that kind of shit for the REAL victims!
BLB, I made my point over and over again the same way the rest of the posters did. It was an argument. A little internet spat. That's what happens.
And I don't feel that anyone is picking on me at all, but thank you for your concern whostheadult. (that sounded sarcastic. It wasn't :-)
Calimom, I concur with just about everything you said. It's rare that women, outside of strip clubs, walk around with their underwear hanging out intentionally. Hell, sometimes the edges of my chastity belt poke through the top of my jeans when. It's inevitable.
And yes, I too have done and said obnoxious things. I am not putting myself above that...but I don't think I ever denied the obnoxiousness of it as vehemently and with such a false sense of justification as BLB has. That's all.
I still stand by all that I said (and repeated over six times apparently). My intention was not to hurt anyone's feelings. It's a shame it had to go that way. Some of you act as though I tarred and feathered him, tied him to the hitch on my pickup and drove through town with him on display...I said he was a pig and defended that opinion. It really wasn't all that horrible.
Seems to me that "regular" is the one trying to stir shit up. Too bad you're afraid to come out from under your cloak and dagger and profess who you really are. You have made this discussion go on much longer than it needed to. Every time it seems like it's about to die down, you feel the need to open your big, fat mouth.
While other posters here have said their peace (and some of them I don't agree with) - you keep dragging BLB through the mud, and it's getting old. And you're assuming that BLB is also sydney white is breaking one of the rules of this blog. I was under the impression that wasn't allowed. But then again, you're perfect, so I guess it doesn't matter. Have you nothing better to do? Is there a reason you keep harping on this?
It looks like someone has a bone to pick, and chose this ridiculous topic to do it with. Get a fucking life.
If he REALLY told the waitress he wanted to floss with her underwear, I would be curious about who he was thiking about whilst he was diddling thou.
If you call someone's husband a pig, it seems to me it is meant to hurt their feelings. The non-hurting-someone's-feelings response if you don't agree with someone would have been to say, "I don't think what he said was right and this is why." Obviously it was meant to insult and to hurt feelings. Let's call a spade a spade. And excellent point, Not a Park Slope Nanny: save it for the real victims!
I still think the girl had it coming to her. If you're going to have your thong hanging out, good for someone like BLB's husband for calling attention to the fact that it is trashy. The truth hurts sometimes.
Jojo bear, you come up with the most inane comments.
Anyway, I agree with those that say calling BLBs husband a pig, or sexually harassing the girl, was way off base. I'm not saying what her husband did was right.. I'm just saying that insults like those aren't going to go unchecked. And I think that those woman that have been sexually harassed are going to take issue with comments like those..
I grew up with 2 brothers and a family-owned construction business.. and believe me, I've seen and heard it all. Maybe I've been de-sensitized, but in the grand scheme of things, I didn't think what BLBs husband did was so bad. I think there's been a lot of over-reacting here and like JXJ said, 30 posts ago, "lets move on, ladies".
OK umass..you got me. I signed online yesterday (or was it the day before) with the hopes of hurting someone's feelings on the internet. What I just said previously was a lie. I DID MEAN TO DO IT!!! HA HA! Mission accomplished.
Damn, LET IT GO.
And as far as the girl having it coming to her, I hope you NEVER mess up or do anything that could be deemed inappropriate. I hope no one's opinion or view ever differs from yours. Otherwise, you'll have it coming to you.
In case anybody has a teenage daughter and might be interested in one of the conferences my daughter and I have enjoyed so much, I noticed that the one we attended last Saturday will be coming to Orlando on October 10-11.
(They are both Christian based, so if you cannot tolerate that, you will not like it.)
The one in Florida next weekend is called Unveiled and can be researched at unveiledgirlsconference.com. This one was smaller and more intimate, which my daughter enjoyed (although I hear they had over 700 girls in Florida last year.)
The other one is organized by Women of Faith and is called The Revolve Tour. It is huge and fills entire staduims. (Get your tickets as early as possible because you'll want a good seat and it fills up fast.) It can be easily found by computer. They have a lot of music that the kids seem to like and some great speakers. Topics range from how to navigate boys and dating, to feeling good about themselves as they are, not having to go with the crowd, and learning to be strong young women.
Anyway, my daughter just loves those...and it's a great time for mother daughter bonding...and a great way to get some topics opened up between mom and daughter for more serious discussion. When we went to Revolve, we actually got a otel room near the staduim (even though it was 15 minutes from our house)and made a whole fun girl's weekend out of it.
I don't think you signed online JJ in order to hurt someone's feelings. I just think that when you made that comment you meant to.
And if I am ever doing anything wrong and someone points it out to me, that's life, isn't it? I am sure I will do many things wrong in my life to come, as I am not perfect and I never said I was. I know how to admit when I've made a mistake and take responsibility for it. Of course we as humans mess up, but what separates the grownups from the children is realizing when we have done wrong and being sorry for it.
In BLB's story about her husband, the woman in question "pulled her pants up" in a hurry and walked off. Obviously she didn't feel she was in the right, or if she did she did not stand up for what she believed in. If it had been you, perhaps you would have loudly defended your right to have your underpants hanging out around kids and families and that is certainly your right.
But don't put words into my mouth and say that my point was that I am perfect. I am far from it and never made that claim.
OK, against my better judgment...one last comment on the undies hanging out.
yes, I'm sure most of us have, at one time or another, had an accidental unbuttoning of blouse, creeping up of undies, or wider-than-we-realized opening of our pants back as we bend over. In fact, last week I went to church in a skirt, with a built in slip underneath, and apparently gave quite the show when I walked into the sun.
However, there are girls who purposely, as a fashion statement, or in order to appear "sexy" pull their thongs WAAAAAY up out of their pants...on purpose. It was actually a common fashion trend in our local high school. My husband and I went up there one day at lunch, only to see and entire bench row of butt cracks and thongs pulled up practically to the navels coming out of the pants.
I am assuming BLB and her husband were able to tell that this was one of those on purpose cases as opposed to a bit of panty accidentally creeping up. The difference is fairly obvious, and I'm sure that they would not have purposely embarrassed some woman who had an accident. I mean, although I may have had slips in the clothing modesty department, I think that if my butt was actually outside my clothes, I might detect an unfamiliar breeze or something. So I think it highly unlikely that this was a hapless victim of shifting undies.
Ok, I apologize for being the one am who inadvertantly started the b@lls rumour. First, I thought 'chonies' meant b@lls. [Just so we're clear it means underwear?? Never heard that expression!] But I never thought he SHOWED his b@lls!! I thought he pulled his pants down to the level of his underwear clad b@lls. I never thought they were exposed-exposed. I still absolutely disagree with the way this situation played out. Not polite, not funny. Not ok. I am of the opinion that no matter how garish or inappropriate you find someone else's attire, you do not resort to the level of public shame. Nobody 'has it coming' in a civilized society. I feel the tone (even if unintended) with which he chose to frame his criticism had an unnecessarily sexual undertone. I'm not casting stones at who MBB's husband is as a person, because I don't know him. I am simply disagreeing with his actions in this instance, which I found incredibly crass.
Mom, about those seminars, I can totally agree that there is some provisional usefulness to them in that these young girls are so young and naive that they need stark lessons. What upsets me is how in the process we sometimes end up teaching our daughters (sometimes oyt of necessity) that men's shortcomings are women's problems. Let's have more seminars teaching young men how to treat women as peers, and as equals, and not as objects they can divide into the trashy and treasured. I wish more was being done to address the root of this issue.
I see your point, PBP, but I don't think the point of the seminars is teaching girls that men's shortcomings are women's problems, I think those seminars are teaching young women the reality of how men think and how men see women. I don't know that I would call it "shortcomings" since men are the way they are and they have a certain way of thinking. Their thoughts don't make them bad men with shortcomings, only the way they deal with these thoughts and the way they act on them.
And I agree there should be more programs to teach young men to be respectful towards women.I think the "root" of the issue is that we should be teaching young people to respect themselves and others: it is not a gender specific issue.
That's exactly the point I was going to make, Mom. This "whale tail" fashion trend was really hot a year or two ago.. and if you've ever watched that show "Girls Behaving Badly", they actually did a skit about it. One of them hiked her thong up way too high on purpose (it was so exaggerated, I couldn't stop laughing!).. and then proceeded to walk around the mall.. just to see what kind of reaction she could elicit. Needless to say, the girl got plenty of stares from strangers.. cupping their hands over their mouths and pointing.
There's definitely a time to say something, and a time not to. And if this was in a family themed restaurant, and BLBs husband thought to prank some sense into this girl for "behaving badly", then, so be it. Maybe next time she'll think twice about what she pulls out of her closet to wear.
calimom, I never called anyone a "fucking bitch " on this thread and you were wayyy out of line to insinuate that I did or to say that I implied such!!.So unless you want to go back and quote where I did..you need to close it!
as a matter of fact my post to jxj as well as anyone else were completely the oppisite of what you are mentioning. So I am not sure where that came from.But you are WRONG!!
as for your rude comments
"fat wife"
and such" well I am sorry you felt the need to go there but that is your style and really no surprise.,however,I am sorry you felt the need to vere from our agreement to disagree and try and steer clear of each other on this web site ,hoping to avoid any ugliness between us and flame wars on Janes site.I see my apology to you a few months back was wasted and and I am sorry for that too.
I have kept in mind several mutual apologies that I have entered into on this site and can tell you, I keep them in mind when diagreeing with any of those posters out of respect for them and the site.I still post my disagreeing opinion without the nastiness.
Something you might want to keep in mind. If someone apologises to you and then you start flinging nasty insults there way..it really says a lot about who you are and who you are not .
Your opinion could have been made just as well without the many insults,sarcastic& snide remarks and personal digs towards me and my husband.
FTR, there is a huge difference between a womens top or middle button coming undone on her blouse due to her ample bossom and a womens ass crack showing. For you to try and compare the two is a HUGE and desperate stretch to make an otherwise invalid point.
I refuse to beleive for one second that anyone(of sound mind) is unaware that there ASS is hanging out of their pants.
jojobear..THAT"S why he asked if "I was ready for his order "last night during sex...
jesh..thanks for clearing that up!
sorry..BLB is me!
cali mom,
why is it that those of us who do not wear "neon orange thongs", in you mind, must of course be wearing "granny panties and mom jeans"? In my opinion, there is a happy medium.
that was just really really mean jjbear
not all men cheat,oogle,stare or wish they had other women.Perhaps that is just your husband.perhaps not. You comment was mean though.what a hurtful thought to put into someones mind.
ladies,
I realize my post was unclear, but these seminars have NOTHING ot do with making males out ot be bad in any way. I would not have any part of that mentality, as I have two sons who I love and value evey bit as much as my daughter. Plus I hate when anybody tries to blame their probalem on what somebody else did wrong...and I grow especially weary of women who are "men haters."
Everything in the seminars is done on a very positive note...and at the level a teenage girl can relate to. it's not just about how to make a good boy like them, or even focused on getting a boyfriend. I don't think any of us adults thing young teens need "mates" anyway...so it's definitely not about encouraging that. The overall theme is developing self esteeem and realizing that how they feel about themselves has little to nothing to do with how their peers tell them they ought to be, think or act. It's about growing an inner respect and self worth that should hopefully give them the courage and strength to say no to what they don't feel good about and be able to withstand the peer backlash that may accompany that. And it helps them see that they are NOT the only girl out there who doesn't want to get laid before high school...so they learn that they are not freaks, geeeks or losers for not needing the attentions of a boy to validate them.
This last one had 9 or 10 choices of "breakout sessions", and they could choose to go to three of them throughout the course of the day.
The topics included (roughly)
Self destructive thoughts
Cutting
Dating guidelines
Physical and Emotional Virginity
Relationship with Mom
Video and computer overuse
Self Image
Pressure to be famous, beautiful and popular
And others that I do not recall
The girls got to look at the list and go wherever interested them personally. My daughter and her friend had planned to leave at a certain hour to get ready for homecoming, but when that time came they both decided they wanted to go to another session, so we stayed even longer. And the conversation thay had in the car on the way home about what they learned and how they felt...priceless.
I cannot recommend these enough. And the first time this opportunity came up I must admit that even I was a little put out (because I hate seminars...typically very boring), but I went for my daughter and was blown away. We have already purchased tickets for our third trip to the Revolve Tour...a full year away.
BLB, I didn't say that you DID call anyone that, and I'd suggest you go back and re-read what I DID say, but I am beginning to doubt it would help you understand the thread any better.
I never made any promise or implication that I was going to not reply with my opinion on any threads where you gave yours. You apologized for some of your anonymous nastiness towards me in the past, and I accepted the apology. That was the full extent of the 2 posts you are referring to. As for the fat comment, YOU have bragged on multiple occasions of your weight, including in this thread, though what it has to do with your husband's observations and personal feelings on women's underwear, I have no idea. I have never been called thin, and never will be, fwiw.
PBP, I also thought "chonies" was balls, and have never heard it used when referring to underwear. And you make some good points about the seminars. I realize these are VERY young girls, so they are starting with the basics, but I believe that when people are grownups, if a "man" can't respect a woman's CHOICES, he will not respect HER, no matter what her choices are. It takes 2 to tango, as they say, and so it does have a lot to do with basic self-respect on EVERYONE'S part.
Umass, people were comparing their favorite styles of underwear to wear here recently, and granny panties were mentioned. I suppose they could be worn with hip-hugging jeans, but I'm not sure that would look any better than the whale-tail. And I think the point being made was not that people have the right to bend over and wave their naked butt-cheeks in your face, but that if someone has their undies showing, their fly open, their bra showing, or any other part which may be an accident, they deserve to have it politely pointed out to them, IF the intent is truly to "teach" them that some people find their exposure to be offensive. If we can agree that no one ever deserves any sort of basic politeness from strangers, and we can all damn well do as we please and everyone else can go get fu**ed because we are all exercising our rights, then fine, so be it. But don't try to take the approach that whenever you find someone's outfit silly, tacky, ugly, frumpy, unflattering, whatever, that it is perfectly polite and acceptable to inform them rudely of your personal opinion, with the intent of embarassing them, because that is just hypocritical and nothing more. What does BLB's husband say to all those hip-hop styled gang-banger wannabes who go around with their pants down to their knees and their whole underwear-covered butt showing? Doesn't he want to "help" them also and do his civic duty by informing them that they look tacky and stupid? Because of course he is just trying to have fun and be funny and make them smile? I'm guessing not, because he knows it's rude and he doesn't want to get shot.
calimom, I suggest you go back and read what YOU wrote:second paragraph "how hypocritical for BLB to bat her eyelashes and pull the ol' "who little ol' me? How dare you insinuate such ---damn bullshit you uncouth name calling BITCHES,now fuck of"-Calimom
you wrote it. Its there in B&W.back peddle,re-interpret it..whatever.
perhaps we are both poor authors when trying to relate our thoughts or stories.
And, yes, I obviously misunderstood our trying not to take personal digs at each other.I thought that with the apology I offerred,it would just go without saying that we would try to be considerate of one another from now on. I was wrong.My bad.
I also thought that we could disagree on a mature level with one another. Again, you have proven me wrong. Congrats!
although I am sure you have so many other clever fat remarks and nasty things to say to me, I am done. I have nothing left for you or to say to you.
PBP, In 30 years I have never heard "chonies" refer to mens balls,so I apologise for the confusion. Yes,it refers to underware..
Your interpretation did add some excitent to the story though! tee-hee
I think cali mom makes an astute point in that it seems far more OK socially to comment on a female's perceived lack of propriety than it would be a male's. In general, whether it be the way they dress or they way they parent, women are subject to more intense social scrutiny from all sides.
Mom, I'm not sure if you think that I am a 'men hater' or not, but I find that term sometimes gets cast unfairly at feminists who point the limitations of the status quo. I feel that men are also victims of patriarchy. When I say 'men's shortcomings' I am not speaking about some biological cave dwelling gene. I am speaking about a society that limits and damages them (as well as women) because it encourages them to have simplistic attitudes about women. Which they often do, as evidenced by the need for these seminars. How are they to think otherwise when you can't turn on the tv without a booty or a boobie in your face? What I am saying is that I think we need more seminars that combat this - for boys and girls. As someone else pointed out, this shouldn't be a gendered issue - so why is it mainly girls who are the ones who have to take it up?
ha ha ha, MBB, I have never ever heard the word 'chonies' period. But it sounded like 'co-honies' which means b@lls, right? Or am I that out of touch...
PBP..okay..cohonies..yes...you would be right..refers to balls!!
Too funny!! No,his cohonies were safely tucked away!
Paperbagprincess,
I agree with you 100%..on all counts in your last post. And, no I wasn't referring to anybody in particular here when using the phrase "men haters." But you know the kind of women to whom I am referring...always thinking men are out to supress, abuse, use women at every turn....and they are constantly bitter. I get tired of the double standard myself...and I am trying to educate my boys to have respect for themselves and for women, just as I want my daughter to realize those things for herself, and that men are a great asset to our world (but that her worth does not come from snaring one...what a delicate balance that is to teach!) It just so happens that this particular seminar was for girls. As a matter of fact I heard them speaking about a Promisekeepers meeting at the girls seminar and I was hoping my husband would want to take our sons.
The bottom line is that we are (except for certain obvious circumstances where a person is truly victimized beyond their control)pretty much in charge of determining how we will treat other people and how we will let them treat us. And that goes for men and women alike. We can make choices that will help determine what course our lives will take. We are not in control of all circumstances, and life can always throw us for an undeserved loop...but there are things we can do to help the odds of having a good life. And I want my kids to know that.
I hate that when a man now asks out a woman, particularly at work, he can be tagged for "sexual harrassment" simply because she happens to not find him attractive, and therefore finds his "advances unwelcome"...whereas another man could do the exact same thing and she would think it was "hot." (Did anybody happen to see the SNL skit about that...it was right on!) I think our whole society has gone bonkers sometimes!
I'm hoping that some goods old fashioned values will help my kids navigate the mess. Nothing is failsafe and nothing is perfect...but it doesn't mean I'm going to give up trying to do whatever I can to help them each grow up with a decent set of morals and an intact self esteem. Thankfully, my kids are willing to discuss...and even, from time to time, be "discussed at" by me (heheheeh)
PS BLB and PBP, I first thought the same thing about the cahonies (or however you spell that), but I read the post over and over until I realized it was not his...you know...that he showed her.
When someone faces an adversity in their life they can sulk behind it or over come it.
Any of us can choose who we are on this anonymous blog.
We can post a picture of our gorgeous sister or neighbor and claim to be that person. We can claim we are a perfect ten. We can also admit our imperfections when describing ourselves.
I have a huge fleshy area between my cheek and ear. It protrudes,is discolored and extremely noticeble. I however have a gorgeous family and husband that over looks it while Strangers stare,point and some actually run to get their friends so they too can gawk.
When I speak of it,I do it with no shame.
However,if someone were to refer to me as somebodys"wife with the fleshy face"..yeah,that would suck!
refreing to blb as someones
"fat wife" is tacky tacky
the fact that you can't distinguish the difference between someone owning up to their weight issue and you down right making a rude fat remark about them is kind of scary.
Oh dear oh dear oh dear, BLB. Now you've gone and proven me right. I said "uncouth name calling bitches. Now fu** off". Not "fu**ing bitches".
One last analogy: I used to work with a woman who was deeply offended on a personal level by pretty much everything. She one time was explaining how she hates it so much when someone uses way too much perfume, that she intended, the next time she encountered someone like that, to make a point of going up to them and telling them how bad they smelled. Yes, we all should be able to not have to smell someone if we are standing 6 feet away from them, but does that mean that it would have been perfectly polite, socially acceptable, humorous or even informative for her to have done that?
CM can you pls explain to me how walking through a family cafe or supermarket where parents are with their young children,with the crack of your ass hanging out is perfectly polite,socially acceptable or humourous?
Just because half os society does it does not make it right.
Some choose to stand up and voice their opinion or otherwise let someone know what they are doing is quite possibly offensive to those around them.
I am glad that you and your husband are content to keep quiet and not effort a change in this world,afterall,That is your peroggative.
While you may not agree with what my husband did..you know what..the pants were pulled up and I did not have to follow ass crack down each aisle while shopping for my childrens ceral.So, what he did worked for us.
He did it in a humorous way with NO confrontation.
Some people are content to sit and look pretty in the world while others want to change it! You choose who you are.It makes no difference to me.
I agree that women often are unaware of a slight gap between a shirt or a loose button..that was not the case here and I am sorry you for whatever reason are unable to take my word for it!
After once being married to a man who was very mean,very abusive and very powerful..a man who would yell at a store clerk until she was in tears or belittle an agent over the phone just because he could or put myself and my son in danger by engaging in road rage screaming matches while doing 65 mph on the freeway,yes,I welcome my husbands humorous(often at times juvenile) approach to all that offends him in life.
When my husband sticks his tongue out at some idiot who cuts us off or flips us the bird, I have no doubt that I would rather be with him than someone who is so self entitled that they feel they get to "tell another person what is right or wrong " (like many of you have) instead,he will react with a humorous gesture and let them realize just how silly the situation is..ya know, figure it out for themselves.
I ran the candy stand at an old fashioned movie thater when I was in high school. For years people told me I should stop biting my nails.(I bit them past the quick and they always hurt.)It never worked..you know what did? A stranger coming through my candy line. Looked at my hands and said"my God honey, your hands are so ugly"( the word honey made all the difference in the world when he said it) he was not mean, just making a point. He never told me what I should or should not be doing..he left me to decide that.I stopped biting my nails the next day. Soemtimes it takes a stranger to point out the obvious and they don't always have to do it in a nasty way.Humor is an amazing thing.
Despite what any of you think, my husband never cared about this until he had two daughters of his own. Though they are small, he worries about how easily influenced they will be by other women in our area.
Obviously the girl in the store saw how silly and ridiculous my husband looked when wearing his pants like her and made her own decision to pull up her pants!
and since you feel I do not know the difference,let me tell you this was not a hurried mommy who did not realize that the top of her bright orange thong was "peeking" out of her pants! This was a20 something chola who looked like she used a Sharpie marker for lipliner and a eyebrow pencil,who intentionally walked through a store full of families with her ass hanging out and her fuzzy bedroom slippers on her feet.
Jeez, ya know quit acting as if everyone who comes on here is so incompetent except for you.Many of us are capable of spotting and assessing( no pun intended) the situatons around us.
Forgive my ignorance. What is a "chola?"
After the cahonas debacle, I am not assuming anything anymore!!! hehehe
BLB, someone told you that you have ugly hands and you're appreciative? That seems kind of...sad. A rude stranger stripping away a tiny bit of self esteem is what motivated you to stop biting your nails? Not to pull some psych 101 BS with you, but is the whole repetition of your, "I'm fat" spiel a subconscious lingering reaction to the type of thing that happened with the ugly hands comment? In other words, are you putting yourself down before anyone else has a chance to?
I only ask because I do the same thing. It's really a self confidence zapper. It's damaging.
Something to think about.
As far as someone being so entitled that they feel the need to tell someone what is right or wrong...why do you think that what your husband did was any different than what we "self entitled" posters did when disagreeing with his behavior? Because he thought he was being funny and our tone suggested seriousness as opposed to humor?
Don't you think that's a bit hypocritical?
Chola is the feminine version of cholo, which is a slang term for a latino male.
And cali mom, I had to read your comment twice to actually get what you meant! After I first read it, I was like.. wait a minute! BLB didn't say that.. so just telling you, I can understand the confusion.
Mom
Do you have a typical mother-daughter relationship? You describe such a great bond.. but I wonder if you ever have any real problems with her. You sound like you spend a great deal of time with her.. which probably makes all the difference in the world with the way she behaves. I'm just curious what makes one kid so different from the next in terms of causing problems.
Blahbitty blah blah.
jxj, you are free to interpret things any way you want.
And BTW, I am so tired of the whole victim thing!! call a duck a duck. my hands were ugly,someone called me on it and what they said rang true in my ears and helped me in the long run.
Good God, you act as if I was victimized.do you really see women as such weak creatures that they can't take a little constructive critism? Really JXJ, " a stranger stripping a way a tiny bit of self esteem" Give me freakin break!! How about, a stranger gave me some constructive critism that helped me in my life!
You clearly need to stop over analyzing everything..sexual harassment and now stripping away self esteem.. please.I think somebodys psych class is getting to them.I am sorry but this is too ridiculous to merrit any more discussion.
jjbear are you bein funny or were you trying to make up for your mean remark earlier?
Oh BLB, you are SUCH a victim though. You made that excruciatingly and painfully clear. Your hands are ugly and someone called you out on it? Like it was your fault that he didn't find your hands attractive enough by his standards? That's called PLAYING THE VICTIM, whether you want to admit it or not. In your attempts to be the exact opposite, you're actually doing yourself a disservice.
A little introspection and perhaps some self analysis of yourself instead of everyone else around you does wonders. Try it. In recognizing these things about your inner workings, you are doing the exact opposite of being a victim. You're acknowledging your unconscious behaviors which makes you more aware of yourself in general. That's empowerment...not victimization.
You can knock it all you want with your feigned shock and incredulity, but there is a lot to learn about ourselves.
Believe it or not, I wasn't trying to offend you, so there is no reason to go on the defensive.
Well,JXJ,I would hate to see if you were trying to offend me!
Whats that old saying, "with friends like you who needs emenies"?
Now that you have finished analyzing me, I am off to enjoy my evening in my repressed and victimized ways!!Chow!
BLB, its ciao, not chow! lmao!
I only caused all this trouble to get back on the top commenters list. Looks like I made it.
BLB, I really wasn't trying to offend you. Not now, not then. Enjoy your night of repression.
I'll enjoy my strep throat and earache.
Well BLB, we all know you think you and your husband are saving the world one panty at a time by making rude comments to strangers in the supermarket, but the simple fact that you still cannot grasp is: Just because you react rudely to someone you percieve as being rude to YOU, does not mean you are NOT being rude. Admit your social shortcomings, get over your obsession with other women's undies, and move on.
Manhattannanny
Yep. That's about all you have to offer this whole entire thread.
BLB
I have to commend you for an incredible post! I never once saw you as a victim. You seem to be very strong willed and you've taken a LOT of crap the past two days, and not once have you been a quitter! You are a strong woman with a tough exterior to be able to as gracefully as you can, answer each and every comment or insult.
So your husband made a boo-boo, who gives a rats ass. If I was there, I may have even laughed too -- it depends on what kind of mood I might've been in.
And I have to agree with BLB, Jersey - you over analyze everything way too much. What a shame you're on some anonymous board handing out dime store advice to a bunch of nannies. You really need to get laid.
Calimom
HOW can she move on when all of you won't let her!! Drop it already. It's so fucking stupid.
french cut..
weak. Get laid? Is that like GET BENT?
Over-analyzing behavior patterns is NOT really a horrible thing. There is a lot in this world to be analyzed. A lot about ourselves to pick apart and learn about. Don't knock it simply because you choose to exist on the surface, on one dimension. Ignorance isn't always so blissful. I'd rather be sharing my point of view on a blogging environment than in a restaraunt at the expense of some poor waitress and her thong.
I think I always spell restaurant wrong..
restaraunt? restaurant? The latter?
Anyway, that was a cheap shot. I'm not going to bring up the double thong offenses again. PROMISE.
Oh, come on Jersey. You mean to tell me that as smart as you've been making yourself look the past 2 days, you don't know what get laid means? Maybe your man just isn't up to the job. Or, maybe you've just been taking too much cold medicine and he sees nothing but a wet dishrag right now. Try the non-drowsiness daytime formula honey.
restaurant
You were right the 2nd time.
french cut, you're clever as hell.
But I guess you already know that.
What painful jabs you've given me and my sex life!
;-)
Butt-I hope while you've been on here overanalyzing the hell out of everything all day that you didn't neglect your charge. We all know you've had problems with that in the past.
Anyone else offended by butts ignorant and racist remark about cholas? Wow..
Chola isn't as derogatory as some would think. Don't get your thong in a bunch. Us girls refer to each other as cholas all the time. It's no different than the word the brothers use.
todos usted bitches necesidad de conseguir una vida
Translate that one ladies.
I have a life poco.
Good to know you're not offended by the chola sharpie eyebrows and lip liner remarks. I was though!
Personally, I don't think that's a very attractive look. Never did. But hey, whatever. I sort of thought the sharpie comment was funny, though.
Why would you be offended? Is that how you do your make-up?
At the risk of offening you both...but only because I really like both of you a lot...I am going to take a step into the middle of this one thing and hopefully clear up what I think was a misunderstanding before this goes too far and feelings get really hurt.
BLB, I really didn't get the feeling that Jerseyxjaqui was trying to offend you. Then she came right out and said so. I thought she made a point of saying that she thinks you both share a tendency to do the same thing...which I took to mean she was making sure you didn't feel accused or offended, but rather was saying that she thought maybe she recognized someting in you that she is personally struggling with as well.
nynanny,
I'll answer you tomorrow about my daughter...because she apparently needs my computer immediately to print out some homework...and I'm going ot go to bed while she does that.
Albuquerque, New Mexico-home of the low riders baby!
You a chola, BLB? You are one tough bitch.
LOL, Frenchcut, yes that is all that I will offer this thread because its a stupid one and I wont get involved. I will correct the horrible spelling of the word "ciao" though or as BLB writes it "chow".LMAO.
Please don't assume you know the Identity of other Posters.
:)
Poco Loco (if you are indeed a "niña", then it really ought to be poca loca), I think what you actually MEANT to say was: Todos ustedes bitches (perras, in case you couldn't find a translator for that word) necesitan conseguir una vida.
OK ny nanny,
All awake and refreshed now. Yes, I think I have a pretty good relationship with my daughter...and sons too. We talk a lot, which I think always appreciate, and which I try never to take for granted, having already weathered the phase with both of my sons where they communicated solely through a series of grunts, snorts, scowls and eye rolls. (I am happy to report that this phase DOES END!) My daughter has not yet gone through that phase, despite the fact that she is nearing the age where it ended for her brothers...which I dare not yet attribute to anything positive I may have done as a parent...and I am even holding onto my hat in case girls just do it a little later than boys. But so far, so good.
She's very loving and snuggly. I really feel so fortunate to have her as a daughter. And, as with many teenagers, strap a seatbelt on her and she will spill her soul. She and I make a point to spend time alone and ususally stop for a meal out together twice a week on our way to karate class. Between that and our various car rides, we get a lot of great conversation into our week. (A mom at the conference last weekend pointed out that her theory on that is that they are safe and alone with us in the car, but not having to look us right in the eye, so it is easier to bring up something that may be on their minds. My son and I had one of the best conversations ever last year as we floated down a river in tubes for about 3 hours together, side by side, not face to face....so I think she's onto something with that.) One thing I was doing last year, but have slipped away from this year (going right back to it now that I've realized)was to try not to offer so much advice, or solve her problems, but instead to listen very carefully for as long as she wanted to vent, and then saying something like, "Do you have any ideas yet about what you're going to do?" She seemed to really enjoy thinking of her own solutions and have me just tell her that she had good ideas. She would look so happy when I would tell her that she had some great ideas...and then she would be eager to tell me how they worked out...which brought on yet more conversation.
Of course, that's not to say that we don't have days where she seems to hate me, and makes sure I am fully aware of her feelings by either rolling her eyes dramatically whenever I approach, or stomping out of the room. We can go from adoration to scorn in 90 seconds flat sometimes, which I do attribute to her age. (For instance, she finds it completely outrageous that have removed her school night television and personal computer priveleges JUST BECAUSE I started getting notices from school that she has late and missing homework. For this, I recieved the accusation, "This is so ridiculaous and unfair!" and the threat, "OK, fine! I'll just be the most miserable person in the whole world then!!!" And then later...much later..."I'm sorry for how I acted." But that doesn't in any way mean she doesn't still roll her eyes and scowl at me if I catch her with the tv on and make her turn it off.) She is still a teenager, after all. Funny, she has always been a strong personality and had such an attitude when she was a little girl that she was the one where I always feared what her adolescence might bring, and whether we were going to have any control of her whatsoever...but she's been the easiest so far. (Just goes to prove, once again, that parents can in no way begin to predict what is going to happen to any given child during adolescence. hehehe)
I heard something once that really stuck with me, and I have tried (as best as possible anyway) to keep it in mind when dealing with my teens. A man was talking on the radio about his dad and he said that at the age his friends were all hating their parents and doing really stupid things to rebel, he just didn't feel the need to do that. He said that when he grew up a little more and thought about that, he realized it was probably because his Dad just really liked him and who he was....so there was no need to rebel. What was there to rebel agianst when the message he got at home was, "You're an alright kid. We like who you are."
So, although I strongly disagree with parents trying to be a peer or friend to their kids ("cause they have only one set of parents, and I believe those parents need to be parents first), I do try to make an effort to let them know that I think they're each pretty great....and always that they are loved.
So there's my two cents...which I write with fear and trembling because, with Murphy's law firmly in effect, I know that the moment a parent starts to feel really calm and secure and good about any of their kids, they will have to prove them wrong...almost instantaneously.
So, with that, I'm off to don my parental HazMat suit and a hard hat...and a pair of waders for good measure!
Mom,
I always loved car rides with my mom. I used to talk to her quite a bit too about everything. Your posts always make me miss her. She was such a great mom, and always wanted to know my friends and always, always welcomed them into our home: my friends were always amazed at what a great hostess my mom was, how she always had special snacks for us, and how she never ever minded if they came over and slept over for nights on end! Now I look back and realize that my mother probably wanted to keep me close and that the mess, the noisy girl-squealing and Beastie Boys/David Lee Roth music blasting from my bedroom was worth it compared to what we could have been doing god knows where else! She always supported me in what I wanted to do: writing and acting. She was my number one cheerleader.
keep up the great work! your daughter sounds awesome and so do you!
Two things for mom:
Your clarification was on point. That's really all I WAS saying. Thank you.
Also, what you wrote about your daughter reminds me a lot of how my mom and I were, and still are to an extent (minus the impossible teenager aspect). We had such a close, loving, affectionate relationship and a lot like you AND umass, spent a lot of time bonding in the car. She was in medical sales and her territory consisted of North Jersey, Long Island and Conneticut, so from a very young age when she used to bring me to work with her, the car became OUR place. A safe haven. And that carried into my teenage years and now, adulthood. I still love taking drives with her. In fact, every year from age 8 to about 18, we drove up to Maine together...those are some of my best memories.
I literally cannot wait for the day that I have children and can strap them into the car and just drive places...no TVs and DVD players will ever be in my car :-)That's our time.
Even with my charge, I don't drive around with her aimlessly, for obvious reasons...I am not paid to do that, but the time we spend in the car on our way somewhere, singing songs and just being silly, is great.
Thank you Umass! That's sweet!
You ar emaking me miss my babies too. Your comment about the special food makes me remember how certain friends used to like to come over for the special snacks that they liked. One little boy used to love that I made "Pooh bear" pancakes. (They were Mickey Mouse to my kids, but this boy loved Pooh bear, so we called his Pooh...even thought they looked exactly alike! I made them for him all the time...even at dinner sometimes, because of how his eyes lit up. My daughter has two sisters as great friends that she has known since kindergarten. For years and years, I made them PB&J sandwiches that were cut out in shapes with cookie cutters. They still mention fondly it almost every time I see them. And my other son had a best friend who loved my Mac and Cheese...so what did we have almost every time he was over? (His mom was a little peeved, because she said she made her mac and cheese just like mine...but he always went on and on about how good mine was. Maybe it was that I made it specially for him and so he felt special?)
OHHHH here's something fun that "y'all" can do 'cause it's almost Halloween. I have been doing this every Halloween since my kids were very small...and, truthfully,I was shocked when my oldest son wanted to bring his high school friends over for this meal ('cause I assumed it might be "babyish and uncool" for such big kids...but they all thought it was GREAT!)
So the menu is,
Haystacks, Monster Mouths, Spiders, and Eyeballs (And it is very time consuming...but way worth it.)
Spiders:
1) Take a hot dog and make two slices in each end going from the end of the weiner toward the middle. This will leave four slices attached at each end
2) Leave about 1 1/2 inches uncut at the middle.
3) Drop them in boiling water and the ends will curl up and look like spiders legs to an imaginative kid. if oyu do it right, there will be eight legs.
Monster Mouths:
1) Slice and core an apple, leaving the red peel on (Lips)
2) Take two slices and spread peanut butter on one side of each (good luck, because it's had to make it stick)
3) Place miniature marshmallows (teeth) in between the two slices and stick them together with the peanut buttered sides
Eyeballs:
1) Peel green grapes and stick a raisin in the end of each one to make slimy eyeballs with tiny pupils in them (did I mention time consuming?)
Haystacks:
1) Slice carrots into very thin sticks and pile together like a haystack
Put this all on a plate (preferably paper) on which you have drawn a spiral of chocolate syrup and then drawn a knife across from the center outward to make it look like a spiders web.
ha ha ha, cute! I wonder if its more or less complicated that the Halloween kitty litter cake?
For those that don't know (Not safe for the easily grossed out):
http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Kitty-Litter-Cake/Detail.aspx
mom, Forgive me. I know I am a day late and a dollar short. This thread has taken a nice turn and I don't want to change that. But I did want to address your post to me.I hope you know how much I repsect you and your opinion. You and I have not always seen eye to eye but I repsect you as a mom and as a women & wife. You are nearly my favorite poster as you are the epitomy of an objective blogger and one hell of a great mom! However, If someone wants to be less offensive how about NOT calling someones husband a "pig". How about NOT using words like "Fat wife".
How about ,disagreeing respectfully and making your point.
I am glad to know that many of you are strong and would not have found either of those offensive. I did.
"Just saying"..you are offended by everything! Your posts are strictly to elicit more negative attention my way.Even though they were both rude and hurtful, atleast JXJ & CM had the guts to call me & my husband names to our faces (if you will)and not while hiding behind a new moniker conjured up 2 or 3 months ago largely for the use of coming after me.
As for the word chola, I apologise if it offended anyone(except you JS because you are offeneded by EVERYTHING). It was used as a descriptive remark not a derogatory one. It is used in our home and with our friends and family. One of my closest girlfriends was a bad ass chola in her day.However, we are not a PC family.
(My husband loves the silly spoof songs Lean like a Cholo/Chola.)
While I am sure this will be offensive to SOMEONE....
last year we were in the lobby of a hospital while my neice gave birth. The elevator doors opened. A boy approx 8 yrs old looked at my husband and said"was' up OG" and flashed a gang sign.( OG meaning Original Gangster)Which of course my husband is not,was not..not even close.. The doors closed.. and after 10 seconds of complete silence we all laughed our asses off.was my husband offended? hell no...but it was funny.
To those of you that have a sense of humor..keep using it..it is such a better way to express yourself!
Calimom, if you were just trying to start a war,you failed. I still have nothing nasty to say to you.Though your posts would merrit it if I did.
JXJ, I hope someday ,when you are married, if anyone calls your sweetheart a pig, you will feel the natural instinct to stand up for them.Anonymous internet blog or not. He is my husband and I will always stand up for him because I KNOW what a wonderful huband and daddy he is and it is only natural that I would want others to know that too.
And, you need to understand that not all people are text book cases. Some of us have the ability to love ourselves just as we are. Not all fat women are secretly hiding shame deep inside.Some of us are proud of who we are and what we are not.And if being a plus size woman is my biggest crime..I am doing pretty damn good!So please remember that.
If I were to say all thin attractive women got there nanny jobs because they had a nice ass, I am sure you would disagree. Why, because while that may be the case for some, it is not for all. Just as not all fat women are trying to get to the punchline before others do. Make sense?
manhattannanny, I LMAO too when I saw how I spelled it. But you know what..I really did not realize I spelled it wrong until you showed me the difference!..so, thanks for the heads up!I learned something new today!(like, thats what the hell that is on all those patio umbrellas!!(Dee-da-dee)
French cut fan & Pissed off nanny..you guys rock!!Thanks!!!
Poco loco.. You are too funny!!New Mexico is where my heart is ..Chimayo brings me back every year as I had my own personal miracle there. I have relatives in Albuquerque and Taos and visit yearly.. My husband & I took a fabulous trek to the New Mexico state fair last year on his Harley!! It was great! I am in Califas!Am I chola,no but I lean like one baby!and have lots of love for them!
Cheers!
BLB,
I admit to not knowing what all the posts said, and who said exactly what to whom...but this at the bottom is the post I thought had you upset. And, while this post is not dripping with love, I thought I saw an olive branch and a bit of trying to commiserate in that last paragraph.
The stuff about calling your husband a PIG, whoever did that, it wasn't nice.
You know, it sounds like you and your family like to be a little off the wall, as does Umass and a few others here. So do I, so I get you and understand that you were telling something meant to be humorous and did not expect that backlash. But really, it takes a certain kids of person to "get" that kind of humor...and, just like the girl with her ass out is going to get some unexpected comments...you and I and Umass, and anybody else who has a good time being "a little batty," are going to endure some misunderstanding and some disapproving comments and glares. It's the price. And, when you get to be as old as me, you'll understand that its really not as personal as it seems (although I admit the PIG thing was overboard)...its just that not everybody "gets" it the way we meant it all the time.
"JerseyXJacqui said...
BLB, someone told you that you have ugly hands and you're appreciative? That seems kind of...sad. A rude stranger stripping away a tiny bit of self esteem is what motivated you to stop biting your nails? Not to pull some psych 101 BS with you, but is the whole repetition of your, "I'm fat" spiel a subconscious lingering reaction to the type of thing that happened with the ugly hands comment? In other words, are you putting yourself down before anyone else has a chance to?
I only ask because I do the same thing. It's really a self confidence zapper. It's damaging.
Something to think about."
Alrighty, lets move on with this already....
BLB, I don't read psychology text books. Never taken a psychology class in my life and have probably read only a handful of psychology related articles in passing. What I said and observed about you was based simply on the things I have observed in myself and was nothing more than a suggestion. Something to think about.
As far as defending my husband if someone called him a pig based on something he did that they observed or were told about, I guess it depends what he did...if he told someone he wanted to floss with her thong, I'd probably be humiliated for him, myself and the girl. If she called him a pig, I'd most likely apologize for him and the disrespect he showed her and ask if we could all just forget about it.
That's where we differ. You don't think he did anything wrong, so you think the pig comment was off base and uncalled for. I, on the other hand, thought it was..well, by now we all know what I thought. I guess I don't have to repeat it.
We just perceived the situation differently.
But would I defend my husband if he did something I thought distasteful and rude? Hmmm, probably not. Not just for the sake of defending him at least. I'd be upset if someone called him names, but I couldn't defend behavior I disagreed with....and I wouldn't expect someone to do that with me either.
Perhaps I should have said it was a piggish thing to do as opposed to calling HIM the pig?
Actually Jersey, that may have been taken differently. At least, I may have taken that comment differently had it happened to me.
It's much easier to stomach something when it comes across as more of a "constructive criticism", than just an insult.
Don't criticize people over using different monikers when you do the same thing butt..
STFU, just saying. You're a real pain in the ass, and you have nothing intelligent or of value to offer in a conversation. All you do is troll every thread, stalking BLB. Your life must really suck!
Saying whats on my mind just like you, not a park slope nanny. It's an open forum, I'm welcome to post just like you are.
Geeze, your a real gem. Do you have to curse in every reply??
Yeah, you're "allowed" to post what you want, but why do nothing but make digs at people you don't like? I'd rather read an opinion you had, even if it was a negative one - and why you felt that way, instead of a stupid 3-liner cutting someone down. And btw, just how do you know for sure that anyone here has another moniker, or 10, for that matter? Point is - you don't.
Who's the adult? Uh, because I can. If you don't like it, skip over it.
I post my opinion every time I post. You think your post full of swear words is so much above mine? Wow..
How does butt know people are using other monikers? She alludes to it in almost all her posts.
I'm just saying..
just saying If you think there is a post on this thread that I posted under another moniker, then caLL me on it or shut it!
Reality is, you can't cause there's not!!
I never aLLuded that others are using diff monikers..just you baby...my single handed,multi tasking several monikered friend. I am not breaking the rules. I am not guessing who you are!
I am simply stating the obvious!
And see how apparent what you are doing is??nobody likes a troLL..even if she is after an opinionated BLB!!
Cheers...
Nope I haven't seen your other moniker on this thread. You're right chief.
I'm not a troll any more than you.
BLB: don't let trolls bother you! I love you! :)
Yes BLB, you are definitely loved!
Hey ladies(Mom & Umasss)..thanks. I always appreciate the love! And thank you both for the posts with advice and your objective views.. they are always welcomed.
When will people get the concept that other people getting to wear what they want is not a personal affront to them.
Not everything revolves around you. In fact most of the time what people wear, (yes, even women) has nothing whatsoever to do with anyone but the person wearing the clothes.
Its none of your business as an observer, so why do you have to have an opinion? Big boobs without a bra, thongs hanging out of low slung jeans.
None of this is your business unless you are wearing it or you are responsible for someone who is.
SIMPLE.
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