Received Tuesday, October 28, 2008. - Rant
Would you believe..... After taking care of the most amazing infant ever from birth to toddler age, the parents decided to move her to a daycare for "financial reasons". I know exactly what they earn and I know nothing has changed. By the way I am completely for the idea of daycare regardless. I was told on a friday that they are putting her in a daycare starting monday. And they will give me 5 weeks to find another job and pay until then-out of respect for me-even though I won't have to come in. I then cut it short by 2 weeks, because hooray for me and them, I found another job even though its part time. So I thank them for giving me until the end of the month to finish off my financial ends too, as after all, it would just be 3 weeks notice at that decided ending point. I'll manage, right?
So I start a morning of training at a daycare facility, where their child now attends, followed by another half day of training. Who would've guessed that on my second day I would see a child being shoved 3 times by a teacher into the floor and smacking her head by hand into her sleeping mat in a "stay down!" manner. All very hurtful to a distraught child. I saw some other minor things, less aggressive of course; force feeding a child by dripping milk in a 5 month old baby's mouth so she coughs and vomits it all. "Swaddling" my sick former charge aggressively to make her nap again after waking from a 90min nap just 30min earlier? And by aggressively I mean stomach down, wrapped in blanket and holding her down. I'm leaving other small things out. Shocked and confused I leave the premise. Call a nanny friend for advice. Call the parents. Email the director to report things and then they (daycare) dismiss my observations as misinterpreted after meeting with them. The place has no history of abuse, why believe your former 50 h per week nanny? I am then forced to quit a job that has not officially started unless I want the staff to treat me poorly for "tattling" on them. This is how the staff said they feel according to the daycare director.
SO you would expect them to pay me until Nov 14 then anyway but I suggest that we should keep the end of the month as a last day regardless and that I'll manage with the 3 weeks. Mom agrees. Then 2 weeks into daycare, still employed with them but not having to go in as the child is in daycare all day, (I was told to use my time to find another job) and that they will be willing to provide me the time off to do interviews etc-their child gets a bad cold apparently. I have scheduled a training day with a company on monday and then get an email SUNDAY eve to ASK if I could come in monday to take care of the child. I tell them I have a meeting as mentioned on thursday and I won't be able to reschedule at this point (they should understand right, after all this is what they gave me the grace period for). I hear nothing back. Monday night dad brings me my check and I'm short a week. Oh, that's because he decided to not honor the original 5 weeks to 3 weeks. Instead we are paying you for just the 2 weeks. "Because you were not available today. And our friends thought you shouldn't get more. Since you now have another job." I remind him that I do not and that this is a day and a half temp position with 1 days training only. And that the position will only start a few days after our 3 week ending agreement.
I am so hurt. I have never been treated so poorly. How can you as a parent do this to someone who has been like a mother to your child when she was not even 5 oz yet? When you know us. Have been invited to our birthdays. Live down the street from us. Work with my husband. When I've taken her on trips with my in laws. Bought her gifts wherever I've gone on trips. Do you know her favorite food or stuffed animal? Her milestones? Her first word? I'm done crying about how poorly I've been treated. I did my best and you just don't know how to be a decent human being. My in laws where right all along. You are indeed a worm. I never would of thought so until now. Thank you for disposing of me like a meaningless dish rag. I think I'm done caring for kids.
10 comments:
well, I am sure I will be in the minority here but your last sentence was a relief to me. I think you should look elsewhere for a job and stay away from working with children.
First, there is obviously much more going on than you have lead us to believe as far as your relationship with your charges parents. It sounds as if a relationship exsisted long before you began working for them and opinions of your employers were already informed as to their character.
Second,the fact that you did not immmediately go to the police and or child services to report what you saw in the daycare is appalling as you are a required and mandadted reporter.
Third, you need to stop whining and start acting. It is your job to take care of yourself and no-one elses. The offer of 5 weeks pay was more than generous and more than enough time to secure a new job. Jobs fall through alll the time,it is not the fault of your employer. Keep looking and stop whining.
Weather you know there financial situation or not,weather things have changed or not are not relative. They are the parents and they have every right to make changes in their childs life.
I truly hope that someone with enough intelligence will report the daycare asap for the little girls sake and all of the other children involved as well.
Ok, side note, kinda weird you went to work at the daycare that they ended up sending their kid too...
Technically, sure, they should pay you still, they were the jerks in the first place....
But, I would move on from the whole situation and be done with it. Unfortunately. I know you were trying to do what's best and be an actual decent human being and I'm sorry that you were not validated.
'Moniker', I agree with you. I'm also confused - does that mean the parents are still keeping their child in this place? That would be my concern and also that it needs to be reported what was seen. Yikes I can't believe there are places like this that treat babies and toddlers worse than prisoners and no one does anything about it. How do these adults go to work everyday and not speak up?!
I agree with BLB, too. Doesn't your conscience get to you? Why can't you do more for these kids? I'm not trying to be mean, but from the abuse you described.... SCREW the daycare, and call CPS!!! Please!
I was really tired an upset when I wrote this last night.
To clear somethings up:
I did report it and Big Butt, they where always the kindest people which is why I am so schocked that that lied about their agreement with me. im not holding anthing back.
Thank goodness for my 2 page glowing reference before hand.
And yes they are still keeping there child there. (i know crazy)
And the daycare is next to our house. Why not apply there?
Im so sorry for the children.
I'm glad you reported it, OP. As upset as you sounded, and with all the people you called, I was just surprised CPS wasn't the first call you made. Thank you for stepping in and making it your business!
I think the OP's point about the daycare abuse is that there is no history of problems there, so it's going to be her word against theirs, as well as all all of the oblivious parents who glow about the care their kids receive while there.
Which is basically just going to make here look like a bitter employee who was let go.
Not that she shouldn't press forward with the allegations, but w/out proof, it's going to be hard to do anything and easy for the people who whom she was a nanny to just write off her allegations and continue sending their child there.
I hope that some positive changes at the day care come out of this, OP, and good luck finding a new position! I understand your feelings of betrayal, but just keep reminding yourself that it will all work out.
The five week's pay was generous and I think if they told you they would pay you for those weeks, they should! They should not go back on their word. That is not right. However at this point, it may be just easier to count your losses and move forward. Many people would be glad to get what you got. Move on and make a fresh start. That should be a bit easier for you now that you have a glowing reference letter.
Best of luck to you OP.
It all comes down to honoring an agreement. It's amazing how unmanly certain individuals can be.
I'm a nanny (among other things) for a family in Ann Arbor, too. I have yet to meet a halfway decent family that treats their nanny well. You've been treated in the typical AA way -used and abused. These parents don't know what a good thing they have; they just don't care!
I'm really curious as to which daycare you're talking about. Any clues you can give me?
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