Saturday

The Trickle Up Effect

Received Saturday, September 26, 2008. - Guest Column by F in NY
Wall Street is busting and the FBI is looking at the CEOs and fatcats, well I dare say, look down; because it is the nanny that is robbing us all blind.

The modern day nanny. Who is she? In New York, she is 40% likely to be from any of the Caribbean Islands, 35 % likely to be Hispanic, 13 percent likely to be American born and 2% likely to be white.
In NYC, the average nanny is an immigrant and hails from a country where she is unlikely to have received an education past the eighth grade. In NYC, the average nanny is 80% likely to make $12 or more per hour. In NYC, the average nanny is 43% likely to make $15 or more per hour. And yet, in NYC, 90% of the nannies are paid off of the books.

So, you are paying these women $12 cash per hour. $12 cash? Depending on your income bracket, that is $16 or more per hour. And $15 cash? Depending on your income bracket, that is $19.20 or more per hour. Are you kidding me?
How hard are we supposed to believe this nannying job is anyway? Unless you are a psychologically afflicted person, if you are a female, you should have an instinct to mother. Yet so many nannies act as if by simply wiping a child’s nose and teaching the child how to count to seven in Portuguess-that they are saving the world? Are you kidding me?

Most nannies get two weeks paid vacations. Some nannies get 4 weeks or more paid vacations. Some nannies make $25 or more per hour. More than fifty percent of the live in nannies with driver’s license in our suburban areas are provided nanny vehicles. Gas and insurance is provided for the nanny.

Oh there are educated nannies. I met a sweet white nanny two weeks ago. She was an American nanny who had dropped out during her third month of cosmetology school.

Let’s go apply for a job. Off to Home Depot, where perhaps one of those sturdy nannies can get a job lifting plywood, starting pay $6.95. How about we take the nanny with the affinity for wake lashes and red eye shadow and get her a job in the cometic’s department of CVS? $7.10 per hour. You want to work in a grocery store? Stand on your feet all day, your only break from the constant work of ringing and bagging groceries, those times when you are lifting boxes and stocking shelves? $6.75 per hour. And guess what, all of these hard working SOBs pay taxes on their hourly wage. They have to wear uniforms and punch clocks and take short, scheduled breaks.
These poor saps have to pack their lunch every day or buy their lunch. The boss is not keeping their favorite foods on hand so they can nosh at will. Nope, that’s just for you ungrateful nannies. Ungrateful nannies who complain about everything they are given not realizing that some of us do realize they deserve far less.

You truly think you are worthy of having your employer pay for your insurance benefits? Let’s go back to that Stop and Shop employee, busting her ass for $6.75 an hour, paying TAXES on that salary and paying for her own food out of that salary, do you think they are going to pay for her insurance?

Then why do you think that your employer should pay your insurance?

I am so sick of these overrated nannies. The lot of them would be deemed unhirable by any of the companies listed above. All of these uneducated women, reclining on Ethan Allen sofas in air conditioned rooms with massive remote controls.. who do they think they are?

And why did you, my sisters, let it get so bad? Out of guilt for leaving your children to return to work, you have been blackmailed into paying way too much money for less than admirable care. It’s a game they are playing, and I say their time is up.

Why are so many CEOS making costly dealing and short selling? No doubt to meet their nanny’s dastardly and greedy demands. Let’s all take a vow to start paying our nannies a fair market wage for this economy. No nanny should be making more than $7.00 per hour tax free. It isn’t right, it isn’t fair and it needs to stop.

If we redefine the roles and let the nannies know that we, the employers are in charge, perhaps they will stop behaving so obstinately and ignorantly. We will tell you when to show up, for how long to work, when to take your breaks and what to do every minute in between time, if we decide. If we have an issue about your job performance, we will tell you flat out how and where you are messing up and you will adjust your performance, not back us into submission with your threats of voodoo.
You will learn to appreciate the comfortable atmosphere our homes provide you, the comfort of our furnishings and the ability to graze at will for free throughout the day. You will stop babbling about infringing on your rights as you will be video taped on a daily basis just like every other employee mentioned in this piece is.

You, the nanny will adjust your attitude and you will say to us, your employers, “thank you for the opportunity to work for you. I appreciate it”.
____________________________________________

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104 comments:

Anonymous said...

someone sounds bitter? don't judge others just because you can't afford to give your children the care they deserve.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I thought I was the only one who thought like this. You didn't mention Burger King, McDonalds and Wendys where they could be working for $6.75 an hour in hot conditions with grease splattering everywhere. And paying taxes on that $6.75 and wearing polyester uniforms and never dare saying to their managers "I don't want to be videotaped, I can't be myself"

Anonymous said...

Here, here.

Nanny Salaries are out of control.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad my boss doesn't think like you. She treats me like a human and appreciates what I do for her and her child.

When you're a nanny you are many things. A chauffeur, a teacher, a cook, a negotiator, an event planner, a nurse.....and the list goes on and on.

You can't compare being a nanny to working at cvs or burger king.

At cvs do you have to drive someone around? Do you have to cook? Do you have to plan an outing?

What about Burger king? Do you have to be a nurse? Do you have to drive someone somewhere?

BTW if you're job requires you to drive at the very least you get gas money and most places have you drive a company car.

Anonymous said...

BS. Boo hoo. Nannies got called out.

Anonymous said...

Don't hate the player, hate the game.

Anonymous said...

To the OP:

You are such a very bitter person.

Where were you when your child threw up all over me. why does he come to me even when you are around. i am the first person he looks to or up to. his eyes light up at the sight of me. i am his teacher, friend, playdate, cook, nurse, pretender, imaginary friend, horsey, tickler, cook, cleaner, best friend, nose wiper, ass swiper, and so much more.

I love him with all my heart, yet he is not my flesh and blood. when outside i am his pitbull there to serve and protect, his policeman, guard, and all that shit. who are you, just the person who hands him to me in the am and the person who puts him to bed at night.

He is so lucky to have me in his life. i give him all the love you can not. i make him healthy dinners, give him baths, read him funny stories, kiss his boo boos, make up funny stories, he tells me stuff, not you.

I never forget that he is your son however, but he is my heart. I have my own son, but your son is also like my own. I am not you, I do not have a hard heart. If I did, I would pity your son. But he is extremely lucky to have me in his life.

I enjoy coming to work, because his smile brightens my day, he is the reason I come, and I dread the day when it will be no more. I bring that ray of sunshine to his beautiful little face. But I dont dread not seeing you, your face brings fear to my heart and soul because you have no soul and your heart is as cold as ice.

I will say a prayer for you that God will touch your heart and maybe just maybe a miracle will happen.

In the meantime I will continue to be all that I can be to a child that desperately needs a mothers/woman's warm and loving embrace.

You on the other hand, will most likely continue to be a very bitter woman.

My condolescences to you....

Anonymous said...

There are some very wonderful, vigilant fry cooks out there, too! At Jack in the box, they have this burger made with sirloin and you would think it was cooked up by chef rocco and the way it is put together? Oh my God. And the shakes? How could a mere mortal know how to blend a shake to such a perfect consistency? And the curly fries? The perfect crunchiness is consistently achieved. Of course I only go there on Tuesdays in the afternoon, but whoever is doing the cooking on that shift, why they should be knighted. But he won't be. Still, I wonder what he makes....

Anonymous said...

Go ahead and pay the woman who is taking care of the most precious thing your life $7 an hour and treat her as if her job was as important as flipping burgers. Then don't dare complain when she is one of those that sits on a bench all day with your child strapped to a stroller or if she lets your dog eat peanut butter off her toes.
I was one of those nannies that busted het butt for $15 an hour and did much more than wipe noses. You have no idea what it's like to work in someone's home in such a personal way. No, most of you couldn't do my job half as well as I did it.

Anonymous said...

Holy crap I just noticed the woman at the top of the ISYN page is giving the finger, hah! That's exactly how I feel about this post.

Anonymous said...

Why is your nanny getting paid more than the person at Burger King? Because your child is a hell of a lot more important than your Double Whopper.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm....interesting rant OP.

I work in a great daycare, and I am MORE than just a "daycare center worker". I, like nannies, am a second parent to many children, and do many of the same things that Brooklyn Nanny does: wipe noses, wipe butts, clean up poop, puke, give hugs and kisses, tickles, play games, give TLC for booboos, and am a confidant, playmate, cook, nurse, friend, storyteller, artist, and T-E-A-C-H-E-R. I, like Brooklyn Nanny, and other nannies shape and mold young minds, and you are ranting about what we get paid? Did someone have a bad experience with a nanny? We have a tough job, and it isn't easy taking care of children. Do as all a favor OP, sit down and shut up about the fact that you don't like us, because we don't like you. How dare you compare what we do to a retail or fast food job? Just because you are bitter toward nannies doesn't mean that all nannies are bad.

Anonymous said...

I taught my charge to read and write at age 3. I taught them good manners and about right and wrong. I guide them through life with a gentle hand. I give a well balanced meal of veggies, fruit, whole grains and protein. Their parents give them a lunchable and strawberry milk. I hold them and whisper how much I love them when they're upset. I celebrate their milestones (Birthdays, good grades, etc..) These little people are out future. I'm shaping the minds of the next generation. I assure you that I take this job very seriously. I will not work under the table and I will not work for a piddly amount.

Your post OP is an insult to me.

Anonymous said...

Wow.....though I admit I make good money for what I do..there arent many people who want to be a nanny. A good nanny has to have alot of patience and love, and come to work with a smile, everyday no matter what. A woman who I worked for once told me that I had the most important job of anyone else in the house...I was raising her child! This is why nannys are paid more than the clerk at CVS or the guy flipping burgers at Burger King. Many nannys are over paid, but I am not one of them. When I am out with my kids people often think I am their grandmother or mom. My kids usually are hanging all over me, kissing me, or telling me they love me as we are waiting in line at a store. My job is very rewarding and I wouldnt do anything else. No matter what the pay.

Anonymous said...

Interesting. Wrong, but entertaining. You see, what you missed here is that these uneducated inexperienced illegals are not nannies at all, they just have employers who get off on calling them that. These are babysitters.

A NANNY is educated- I have a degree in child development, nursing and working on my MSW. A nanny is EXPERIENCED- I have worked as a Pre-K teacher and as a city school district UPK Educational Coordinator. I have run a playgroup, taught children yoga and am certified in every which way as far as FA and CPR. I am a strong swimmer, fluent in more than one language, well traveled and professional. That's just a little taste of my qualifications.

I happen to be American- blond as can be thank you very much.

I CHOSE to be a nanny because I like the job description, the flexibility of my current charge suits my needs and the pay was comparable to other positions I have held. I LOVE my job- jealous much? It's not my only one, I love my other jobs as well because I have made the choice to find a way to do things that I love and still get paid. You begrudge me that? Yea, I can see why but you know- that's not MY problem- it's YOURS.

And by the way- I pay my taxes, I claim at the end of every year as the PARENTS I work for are the ones who usually don't want to be saddled with that additional financial burden? Lol.

I should be grateful? I think not. I offer an invaluable service that frankly cannot be quantified in cash. I help children grow up to be confident, well adjusted and happy people. If that job (done successfully) was so easy- then tell me this- why are their so many aholes like YOU running around?

Right.

Get over it honey.

Anonymous said...

Oh my God. You are insane! As someone who employs an nanny i think this is outrageous! I pay my NYC city nanny a competitive salary (taxed) and provide health insurance, paid vacation and sick days. Why? BECAUSE I AM PUTTING THE LIVES OF MY CHILDREN IN HER HANDS!! CVS and home depot employees are not responsible for the well-being of other humans. The are working retail. Your comparison is ridiculous.

The majority of nannies have patience, experience and a caring attitude that you obviously lack.

On top of all that your rant is racist, xenophobic and just plain disgusting. It makes me sad to know that there are people like you out there.

Anonymous said...

Also, I don't know where you found your statistics, but my(supposedly uneducated) nanny, who just emailed me this with a "thank you!" wanted to note that you need to CITE YOUR SOURCES.

Anonymous said...

Give me a break. Baseball players get paid million to do shit but run around like little boys and teachers have to take second jobs to pay the rent. You know teachers, right? Those people who spent a fortune on an education to teach your little brats only to be rewarded with a salary of 32,000.

Why are nannies so overpaid?

Why do these Jamaican nannies act entitled to earn so much money. WHat are they worth?

And the very notion that so many of these nannies say, "I don't do housekeeping" makes me want to put my fist through a wall. Someone's wall. Maybe yours.

Explain that to me.

Anonymous said...

OP, It is sad that you, and the 90% (your statistic) of parents who hire uneducated nannies illegally off the books have such low standards for the care of your children.
Apparently you and your friends have had bad experiences with nannies. There is an easy solution to this.
Stop breaking the law, and pay on the books. Hire qualified nannies. There are nannies who are college graduates, love working with children, and care enough to do ECE and CPR courses. They are knowledgeable about child development and provide a wealth of stimulation, can swim, help with homework, and model good manners, and good grammar.
These nannies work on the books, and pay taxes.
Whether or not you want to acknowledge it, the nanny who spends ten hours a day with your children is going to have a huge influence on their character, emotional and intellectual development.

Anonymous said...

CEOs are guilty of shortselling and fraudulent scheme and arttifice only because they have to meet the nanny's overpriced salary demands. I love it. I hope you will expand your article, with statistics for the WSJ

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'm a nanny, and yes, I make good money. Am I overpaid? Definitely not.

I've been a nanny on/off for the last 8 years, consistently for the last 2 years while I'm in college getting my third degree. The times I wasn't nannying? I was teaching elementary school, or away at college getting my first 2 degrees.

The family I work for pays me well because I am responsible for their most valued possessions. I am not paid to mind-numbingly flip burgers at Burger King, which requires little-to-no thought. I'm paid well because I might actually have to use my brain while I'm working.

You know how you came home that one day and your kid knew how to tie his shoes? Or when he knew how to write the alphabet, or started phonetically reading the names of foods on the boxes in the pantry? Or when your daughter was able to do lattice multiplication? How about when she learned about vowel clusters and diphthongs? Or when they started saying please/thank you, and picking up their own toys? Or learned their numbers and colors in Spanish and sign language?

Let's not forget who you called when you went into labor on a holiday. Or when your family member had a medical emergency. And that was not because I'm "just the babysitter," it was because I was the only person your child would let console him, or change his diaper, or put him to bed. Not his favorite uncle, or his grandma. Me.

The families I've worked for have all treated me with respect, and paid me well. I form unbreakable bonds with their children, and help them grow up to be good people.

That's why I deserve more that $6.75 an hour.

Anonymous said...

Laughable. I am a nanny and I make $32 per hour, pay taxes on that salary and have 100% paid health insurance provided by my employer who also offers 3 weeks paid vacation and ten paid days off per year.

I wouldn't worry about taxing my employer, though. She has three houses, four housekeepers and a 12 x 18 foot room just for gift wrapping.

She does more than okay, so I do okay.

:)

Anonymous said...

I think d makes an excellent point.

Real nannies are educated and deserving of good salaries and benefits...and they pay their taxes.

This rant (which was written partly tongue in cheek, so no need to get too literal with the places that are obviously intended to be humorous....like the CEOs being forced to rob to meet nanny's demands...obviously meant to be humorous)is about people who hire unqualified, sluggish babysitters, overpay them for what they bring to the table, and get off on calling them nannies.

There is a big difference in a nanny who is educated in her field and goes above and beyond to give exemplary care day in and day out and a person who works under the table in childcare because she has no skill whatsoever in any field, or is unable to find legal employement because she is here illegally, and sits on her butt all day with her charge trapped in a stroller.

Know the difference ladies...and get only the best for your children. Personally, if I could not afford a well qualified nanny I would opt for a well run childcare facility instead of a cheap slug who wouldn't pay her taxes and probably would take marginal, at best, care of my kids.

UmassSlytherin said...

Well said, Mom.

I do think it is laughable when people say "How hard can it be?" These are the same people who cry foul when a "lazy" nanny is reading a magazine on a park bench: the person who wrote this rant would no doubt be sitting on her butt in the park reading a magazine, because she does not know how hard it is to be a quality childcare provider. "Motherly instinct" has nothing to do with being a good childcare provider. Many excellent moms could never do what these people do: teach pre-school, nanny full-time, and isn't it great that childcare is there for women who need it, or women who love their careers? I think so. We should all be advocates for quality childcare, not put down the profession and degrade the name of the childcare professional.

I guess the bottom line is that if you are a great nanny and can get hired at that rate, go for it and do not feel bad for it. So what if bitter people (like OP) get all hot and bothered about it? You know you deserve it.

To parents who hire illegals: you are committing tax fraud and so are these (ahem) "nannies" who are working under the table and bringing a bad name to the profession. Shame on you both!

Anonymous said...

you make 32 dollars an hour, Ella? Goddamn.

Edie, exactly.

Umass, OP reeks of self importance and entitlement. It appalls me that this woman would compare the job and responsibility a nanny has to that of a McDonald's employee. Is that how she feels about HER children? And why would OP assume that nannies wouldn't be hired at these places of employment that she mentioned? Why does she assume nannies are uneducated? Because she sees a small demographic of caribbean Nannies? That's ONE area, lady. Get your head out of your ass and crawl out from underneath your rock. There are nannies everywhere and I'd be willing to bet that the majority of them are well-trained, qualified and educated. They just go unnoticed because it doesn't make for an interesting story or rant.

Anonymous said...

I babysit on the weekends. I was born in America. I am not sluggish or lazy or uneducated. What I am is a mom looking to help her husband out with expenses and have extra money to spend on my son.
And the families I work for love me. I pull in about $15-16 per hour.

Anonymous said...

Umass,
Thank you ;)

And I'm not sure OP is so much bitter as she is simply confused. It sounds like all she has personally encountered are the park bench kind of nannies and so has no legitimate frame of reference when referring to nannies vs babysitters. Sounds like she only sees babysitters who are called nannies. That's not her fault. She has probably never encountered a real nanny. I must admit that my previous perception (because I too had only seen marginal, at best, babysitters who were erroneously titled "nanny") was the same before I visited this site and heard from some legitimate, professional nannies that there is a real difference.

I have a distinct memory of thinking to myself one day when my kids were small and I was in a perpetual state of running on empty, but still trying to give all I had, and more, to them every day, "This job is definitely a labor of love, because there is no amount of money that would be worth it to me to do what it takes to do this job well and properly." It takes everything you have sometimes...and then just a little bit more...to take really great care of kids. I could not have pushed myself to the edge of exhaustion the way I did so many times except for the knowledge of how doing that little bit extra would benefit or bring joy to my kids. Because I loved them, it brought me joy as well. If money was my aim, just about ANYTHING would have been EASIER...unless I could have been content to sit on a bench reading while they squirmed restlessly in their strollers...which I was NOT.

So yeah, if there was a nanny out there willing to do what I did, and I could have afforded it (except I would have wanted to do it myself anyway) I would have given her the moon....and a good bonus on top of it as well.

Anonymous said...

As a mother who recently placed in ad online looking for a nanny, I can identify with some of what the OP is saying.

It doesn't matter what I was offering, what I found unbelievable was the crop of entitled, ignorant, do nothings that showed up for the interview and politely told me where they drew the line between housecleaning and nannying. Some so blatantly ignorant that they thought picking up after the child was parallel to housekeeping.

Too damn many immigrants and non american born, uneducated sacks of crap are pulling down $15 tax free.

The problem is WHO IS PAYING THESE AWFUL WOMEN that amount of money? And why do these employers cower in fear of their nannies?

Anonymous said...

Well edina, something to think about. If the ones who showed up at your door were actually pulling in that salary and worth a damn at their jobs...whey were they knocking on your door looking for work?
It seems to me that the best legitimate nannies are probably either employed or being eyed by the friends and neighbors of their employers so that they are snapped up in a heartbeat if their employers ever mistreat them and send them back out into the open market. That's the way it works in pretty much every industry. The best don't typically have to pound a lot of pavement.
Sounds like what showed up at your door is what OP is talking about. Only you are too sharp to fall for it.
Which does beg me to re-ask your question...who are these people who pay these outrageously high salaries to underqualified, taxevading, slugs? And allow them to be the people to be primarily responsible for the physical and moral upbringing of their precious children, no less!? Yikes! Use your heads mommies!

Anonymous said...

well OP, if you are pasying your nanny $7/hr, then you're all set and why is it any of YOUR business what other people pay theirs?

My guess is you are bitter about this because A) YOU hate YOUR job, B) YOU can't afford to pay your nanny more than $7/hr) and C) even at $7/hr, it's your nanny and not YOU that your kids ask for when they need help, companionship or conforting.

Anonymous said...

Please excuse my typos!

Anonymous said...

i am always saddened by the way people look down on those that make the least amount of money in our society.

i don't think less of anyone who works at a fast food restaurant. some people were never meant to go to college: they were too poor, too sick, or too something to go get a degree. but that doesn't mean that they are less of a person than a surgeon. they are just as valid. i think we often forget that.

my father works in a factory and my mother works full time with a master's degree and they still collectively make less than $50,000/year. i work six days a week and won't even get into the staggeringly tiny amount of money i get paid. i am college educated and damn good at all of my jobs.

when i see that so many people must think that my opinions are worthless because i chose not to go to law school (i killed the lsat) or do something else with a high profit potential it just leaves me feeling disturbed.

this is somewhat off topic but related to the rant, so you all have my apologies.

Anonymous said...

Thing is, there is a difference between a career nanny and a woman who is uneducated and has no other options but to apply for nanny jobs. It's the typical bench nanny who sees what the professional nannies are making and think they are qualified for those perks as well. Somehow, the distinction between the two types of nannies has blurred and the bench nannies are benefiting from this from a salary standpoint. Thing is it's the bench nannies who mostly show up to interviews and are looking for jobs on their own - because their past employers don't help them find another job.

Anonymous said...

Eactly Lynn,
They are coattail passengers, at best.
Just like I was complaining on another thread about how nasty, unprofessional, unethical lawyers have given a bad name to the entire profession....so it seems with nannies as well.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and gabriella, you make an excellent point.
Many of my beloved family members work in blue collar jobs and are some of the most ethical, hardworking, kind people I know.

It's who you are, not what you have that gives a person credibility and respectability.

Anonymous said...

I agree. My husband is a waiter. And he works so hard. He comes home one or two in the morning. Usually, never has a chance to sit down while working. His legs hurts and back. But he works hard and declares his taxes.

We may not have much, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Anonymous said...

"Unless you are a psychologically afflicted person, if you are a female, you should have an instinct to mother."

LMAO this is the punch line to the entire joke that is this post.

There is nothing else I can add that will further outline and accentuate the ignorance of this person.

Anonymous said...

Rainy Day
I sympathize with you. My husband is a waiter/bartender also, and I can't think of another profession that gets more screwed.

Think about this people:
Your waiters and waitresses, most of them make about $2.15 an hour because Uncle Sam says the rest of the minimum wage will be made up in tips. Not always true. I can't tell you how many times my husband came home from a 9 hr. shift with $10 in his pocket. Why? Well, if it's a slow day.. no customers. Also, it's not fair to have to depend on others to pay your wage.. customers don't always tip %15 - %20 - even if service is exemplary. It really sucks to bust your ass taking care of a table (one man wanted exactly 1 and a 1/2 ice cubes in his drink) - and the $160.00 dinner bill nets you a $5.00 tip. Or the time another waiter/friend was laughingly left a penny tip.. and he was an excellent worker.

The best part? The 4-star restaurant where my husband works messed up all of the waiters federal withholding last year and every single worker had to pay back a couple of thousand each.. as if they could really afford it.

But we still pay our taxes.

Anonymous said...

Oh, this person hates nannies, had a bad one, the good ones amoungst us know who we are!!!Ask my last few bosses! Name yourselves good nannies! Lol!

Anonymous said...

Hey OP, I make a six-figure salary, get my health insurace, gym membership & 4 weeks vacation all paid. I don't do any housekeeping, ever.

Doesn't that just drive you crazy? :-)

Anonymous said...

i read some of these comments and they brought tears to my eyes (shout out to brooklyn nanny in particular). i think the nannies for the most part who post here are maily educated, intelligent caregivers who are concerned about their charges. but i have to agree with op about a lot of what i see in NYC. there are many uneducated, barely literate nannies on the UES where i live. many are carribbean and sit in packs at the playground with their charges strapped miserably in strollers while they chat. they completely reinforce each other with their bad behavior. they also are barely holding onto $600 double baby jogger strollers heading downhill towards park avenue with one hand while the other is on a cell phone. i see this over and over and it makes me cringe. i see them shopping at the sidewalk vendors along 86th street while charges are in strollers 15 feet away being monitored by nobody.

OP is right, but i have to say, instead of cutting their pay in half, NYers should do more due diligence when hiring nannies. i know their is a premium for educated nannies, but OP if you feel you deserve one, then go for it. i pay $20 an hour for former school teacher from bergen county with a masters. i love her and so does my son. these nannies are out there, but you have to search hard for them! i think also with the wall street fallout that many of the bad nannies will become jobless, and wages may not be so crazy. however, i still am going to pay my nanny $20 an hour b/c i know she could get a park ave. job in a heartbeat! also, i think OP should be more concerned about how her nanny is treating the child. i think unexpected drop-ins are the way to go. i have friends who fired nannies after catching them watching soaps while ignoring dbs, leaving them in swings 20 feet away while they chat with park bench nannies, etc. but the onus is on the parent here not the nanny.

Anonymous said...

I think OP is a troll and having a great time reading the mess they stirred up!

Anonymous said...

I spent 9 months, literally, being beaten up (kicked, scratched, punched, wads of hair yanked repeatedly from my head) in a desperate attempt to teach your 'special needs' child how to behave and fit into society. They were in fact, the worst six months of my entire life, and at times I wasn't sure if I could handle a job so difficult, so demanding, and even on several occasions; dehumanizing. I stayed up late into the night, after exhausting 9 hour days researching endlessly, determined to not let one more child "fall through the cracks". I refused to give up, even after consultations as bleak as cold winter storms that declared you "unreachable" met my ears more often than the word "hello". I saw something in your eyes, a spark of intelligence; a soul that I knew I would die attempting to "wake up".

You were behind THREE full years linguistically, your speech so garbled and malformed it was incomprehensible. You lacked even a single friend, and more importantly, the social know how to hold a simple conversation, and instead used your fits in frustration. It seemed nothing was innate in you, nothing came naturally, easy...
and so I taught you, and so you learned...
and now you are a head.

I have scars on my body, and possibly even my soul from the months I spent breathing life into the dormant human that was once hidden deep inside of you, but your behavior now, my love for you and your parents heartfelt gratitude are enough. Some day when you are able to attend College, and when you marry and have children of your own I'll wear the badge of honor proudly, and know that without me, you would not be who you are today. Things that were said to be impossible for you are now in your grasp little man, and I'll forever be grateful that neither of us gave up.

Anonymous said...

Correction: Typo; It should read: 9 months not 6, I ran out of time when proof reading. :)



Well, I'm off, it's dinner time here
Abc123

Sarah said...

Well, you don't know what you are talking about, obviously. Where did you even get your statistics? I don't think you know what's going on and maybe you are pissed off because you can only get a nanny that will not give your kids the best. Not becaue of the pay necessarily, but because of your attitude.

Anonymous said...

Overpayed? I'm a Washington DC nanny out of my own home. I have a child of my own who is in second grade. I HAD a corporate job. I was a finance manager making a great income. I PLANNED to get pregnant. I PLANNED to be a mother. We made adjustments and acomodations to begin and RAISE a family which entailed me being a stay at home MOM. Got that? M O M. I wanted to be a MOM!!! Now that my son is in second grade I have the freedom during school hours to justify my time with an income. I have discovered the previously untapped world of American white nannying. Yes I'm putting it right out front that I know that in the nannying world I have an advnatage just because I am a white American. I realize there are families out there that decide that being "parents" has nothing to do with "parenting" and especially nothing to do with being a "MOM". My rate IN MY HOME to do your job as MOM (and I am very good at it) is $16/hr for one family. They live in my neighborhood, have two children (18mo. and 3), and I clean their home and do their grocery shopping, but they drop their two children off in my home just before my son catches the bus. They pick them up just after he returns home from school. I pay my taxes on my income. I EARN my income. I engage them every morning in activities outside of the home. I bring them home for lunch, and then I engage them in learning activities in the home 1 hr per day and then they nap.... think that's easy???? They awake 1 hour before my son arrives home in which time I give them a snack and we watch AND I PARTICIPATE in a brainy baby video. I am monitored by a nanny cam in all three levels of my home. Again, think that sounds like a walk in the park? Try being a SAHM for a MINUTE much less a day, and tell me how chaotic you feel. Tell me if I'm worth it for you to go off and challenge yourself with a 75K+ salary. For you to maintain your sense of self, and your importance, and your induvidual worth.... and still claim the title of "mother". Am I worth that? Or would you rather self sacrifice the way I have to do what I do, and still be "Mom"? I chose yes.

paperbagprincess said...

I agree with Troll?, this post is too stupid to be real. What I am wondering is what the point was in providing a forum for this racist, sexist and just plain idiotic rant?

Anonymous said...

I don't agree that OP is a troll, unfortunately some people (very falsely) feel this way. I've actually heard a few rich *ehem* witches say just about the same exact thing. I know, maddening isn't it?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Hi Waiters Wife

You hit it on the nail! I don't know if your husband worked yesterday, but my husband did and didn't make much. The presidental debate on t.v. had most people staying home. And ordering take out.

Yes some days he makes good, but its true if the restaurant is slow that means he doesn't bring in a decent pay for the day.

And taxes he gets a pay stub and all. But its true we really don't get alot back. I think the only reason we get some money back is because we have a child.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post abc/123.

Anonymous said...

OP lost her argument when she compared nannies to fast-food workers. She should have compared them perhaps to hard-working teachers. Some beginning teachers in our area are offered salaries in the 20's. They are shaping young minds too. And they often take on all of the other roles parents haven't like teaching kids moral values, manners, social skills, even hygiene, etc.

Just food for thought..

Anonymous said...

Come on I don't feel sorry for teachers. Yes maybe they start off on a small income. But it does increase. In my town most drive Mercedes, Lexus, and BMW. I pass by the parking lot of the elementary school, and I kid you not most are luxury cars.

Most have summers off. They can find employment as tutors. Then they get off for school closings. Lets see winter break, spring break, holidays, etc. And its not like they don't get paid for all of these closings. Not to mention great medical benefits which count for alot.

And maybe I am resentful. I had some bad experiences with teachers while attending school. Maybe because I was very shy they thought they could bully me. I remember struggling and still do with math. The teacher would yell and scream and throw erasers at students that didn't understand the work. I would shake when he would call me up to the front of the class to do a problem. If I messed up forget it. He would start screaming. He even made one boy cry.

Then another teacher only liked the really popular kids. That had nice clothes and wealthy families.

Anonymous said...

Rainy Day
Yep. We have one child. I guess if it wasn't for that child tax credit and the unearned income credit, we'd get nothing back. Sad, isn't it?
What upsets me the most is why waiters don't just get paid minimum wage? Why must we depend on customers to pay our rent? It doesn't make any sense. I actually think we'd make a decent living if my husband earned minimum wage + his tips.. and get this.. they even tax his tips!!

We don't utilize the programs offered by the government like food stamps and stuff because my husband is too proud. He doesn't want to add to the already burdened welfare system.. he's a hard worker and all he wants is a fair wage.
Yes, there are some days where he'll pull in some good tips.. like if there's a wedding reception or something.. but it's not often enough.

BTW, he worked 3pm to midnight yesterday.. and made $20.

Anonymous said...

Hi Waiters Wife

My husband worked yesterday and pulled in $96.00. Not good for a Friday. But better than nothing. He had days like that $40 here and there.

Your right about the minimum wage. Some states actually do pay that. I believe California offers that to their servers.


I would write more but I am sooo tired.

Anonymous said...

Rainy day it depends on what school district as to what income the teacher gets.

Down here where I live (Houston area) the highest paid ISD pays their teachers less than 48 thousand a year.

That wont pay for a BMW heck that will barely pay for an Ford Explorer

They also work a lot more days than you think. Just because the kids aren't in school doesn't mean the teacher is off too.

Most have to be at work 3 weeks before schools starts and I know most spend their own money buying supplies for their classrooms.

I do feel bad for teachers, they have to put up with a lot for the pay they get.

It's even worse than when I was in school thanks to the No kid left behind stuff. The teachers must teach 'to the test' to keep their jobs.

I'm sorry you had a bad experience but just like the author of this post you clumped all the teachers in one group because of the few bad apples you encountered.

Anonymous said...

This isn't normally a problem for me, but folks, I am SPEECHLESS.

(mouth open, eyes wide, speechless)

Anonymous said...

LIndalou please come back and degrade and put us all down. Its just not the same on here without your scathing comments. Im sure youd have a lot to say about this rant wouldnt you?

Anonymous said...

Hey OP
Since you're so bitter about nannies how about you go hire your local fry cook to watch your kids for 10 hours a day?
Apparently according to you nannies aren't much different. What about us nannies that are in college with a full course load and taking care of kids? I'm white, I speak English and my job is just as important as yours. I would give my life for these kids (as I pretty much have sacrificed all my spare time) and thank GOD my bosses are appreciative. I pity the nanny who works for you.

Anonymous said...

Oregon pays their waiters minimum wage+tips. I used to make about $2800 a month working at a family style diner 30 hours a week. It was great. Kind of messed up to make more than some college educated people, but those are the breaks. I worked really hard though and dealt with A$$Holes and cleaned up after little kids and dealt with milkshake drinking teenagers all night.

I can understand that people want American nannies, that's fine, but whats with the racist "I am white" crap. Who cares, is that supposed to make you special?

Anonymous said...

I'll tell you what, I work twice as hard as any employee at McDonalds so YES I do deserve the salary I get. To cook and clean, drive kids, grocery shop, help with homework, do laundry and cook for a 12 hour shift is NOT easy. Who the hell are you people that wrote this crap? I work a 55+ hour week I don't know anyone at Burger King who does that. This post really burns my ass. It's people like you who take advantage of people and want to pay them 10 bucks an hour to be your slave. I earn my money every day and deserve MORE. Idiots.

Anonymous said...

Hi TC

I know I shouldn't have clumped all the teachers in one group. But when you are a kid and have the experience of bad teachers its hard not to.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

TRO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-LL
Posting on the ISYN Site!

__faints__

Anonymous said...

Someone sounds like a bitter old hag much?

Anonymous said...

I did too rainy day but that didn't deter me from continuing my education in the teaching field.

I had one teacher tell me that I wasn't sitting in last chair to talk to her I was sitting there because I was bad at playing the flute. All I had said to her was Hi Mrs. _____. I quit band soon after she said that to me.

I had another who treated me like crap because she didn't like an older cousin of mine who she had taught years before.

My kindergarten teacher screamed at me the day I finished my work late and put my 'peg' in the home center because there were already too many people in that center, even though all of the centers were full and there wasn't anywhere I could have gone without being yelled at.

I had some traumatic experiences but that's one reason I decided to get my degree in education. I want kids to remember me and smile, I want to make a difference in their lives.

I am certainly not doing it to make money.

Anonymous said...

I love this site, but I have to say, for all of you calling troll--the real trolls in this case are Jane & MMP. They have editorial control. They printed this. They chose to spread this hate.

Anonymous said...

Disappointed?

What about what 'name' said,
"I don't agree that OP is a troll, unfortunately some people (very falsely) feel this way. I've actually heard a few rich *ehem* witches say just about the same exact thing. I know, maddening isn't it?"

I too have heard this sort of thing. IN fact I have seen bitchy UES moms saying all of these things to their six year old children that are so wonderfully cared for 24/7 by a nanny. Bitter, resentful, yes.

I appreciate that you posted this person's opinion. As a nanny, I know some people think this way.

Anonymous said...

yes. MOST of the nannies in Park Slope make more money per hour than a bank teller AND most of them DO NOT pay taxes on that and MOST of them get to eat for free off their employers ALL DAY LONG and MOST of them get a bunch of holidays off too. Have you ever been a Park Slope parent and taken a day off from work to run errands and take care of something personal? The obstinate nannies will mad dog you all day and behave angrily to ensure you regret ever having a day off without giving them a day off.

We must stop the sewage from making the pay they are making.

Since they are so STUPID and UNSKILLED, I say we recruit from McDonalds and Burger King to get nannies and mannies. They will be greatful for their $10 an hour (taxed) and free nectarines all day long.

Anonymous said...

Shhh that was a bit harsh.

They will be greatful for their $10 an hour (taxed) and free nectarines all day long.

Your stupid. Hello. Its supposed to be grateful.

Anonymous said...

flowerpower it's always a good idea to check your own spelling before correcting someone else.

You should have said You're stupid not your........

Anonymous said...

When you start a sentence you should capitalize the first word.

Anonymous said...

I was going by you name sweetheart, it's not capitalized..........

Anonymous said...

Do you have anything better to do?

Anonymous said...

Flower Power and other chick: STFU!

Anonymous said...

That was really rude to call jane and MPP trolls...on their own site!

Anonymous said...

I agree mom. And it looks like the same respect they gave to the poster of this thread, they also gave to "disappointed/1:24", and that is: they gave them a voice and didn't censor them.

Anonymous said...

Well, the definition of a troll is "one who posts a deliberatively provacative message to a newsgroup, message board or bog" so, mom, in this case, whether it's rude or not, the definition fits.

Anonymous said...

Disappointed
You are a Communist!

Anonymous said...

WE don't know if it's deliberately provocative or not. I have known a few people who are so self absorbed that they see the world only in terms of how it affects them personally...being apparently completely ignorant and oblivious to the feelings of anybody but themselves... and would think themselves completely right and justified in being the OP in this instance.

My own sister in law has, for years, regaled us with lengthy, excruciatingly detailed stories of confrontations she has had with various people (ones that she always starts)...from teachers and school administrative staff, to sports coaches, to shopkeepers, right on down to total strangers on the street. 99.999% of the time we are staring at her , dumbfounded, and thinking to ourselves, "Boy, you have a lot of nerve to treat people that way." And all the while she is telling these stories, she is completely incensed and thinking she is completely, 100%, in the right...and assuming we think so too. Every now and then I (or my husband) just have had to ask her, "Didn't (whoever the particular vicitim of this tale might be) get mad when you said that?" Without missing a beat, she invariably replies with some variation of, "Yes, but so what? She was in the wrong and seh needed to know it," and then continues on with her story without missing a beat.

People get mad at her all the time...and she goes through friends like most people go through toilet paper...but she doesn't see any conenction. She says she's honest, tells it like it is...and if people don't like it, well then, that's just their problem. She thinks she doesn't have any friends because people are jealous of her.

So yeah, I think OP could very well be serious with her inquiry.

Anonymous said...

Wow Mom, if my brother in law had any sisters, I'd say your SIL must be MY sister because that's her to a T.

She is currently not speaking to me because I turned out to be right about something: basically, a painting I inherited from my mom had been packed into a shipment but never reached me, and she angrily and snidely insisted to both me and my other sister that she had never had it and implied I was just flaky and spaced out and had misplaced it and I was on my own in locating it. Turns out it was in HER attic, and she made her husband take the fall for it and made HIM apologize profusely and assure me that SHE had no idea it was there. Fine, but that doesn't excuse her snotty attitude or excuse her from the basic gesture of offering an apology for the confusion. And now she's pissed at me? At least it keeps her from pestering me for "playdates' every week so she can try to ingratiate herself with her only nephew, who she seems to think really OUGHT to be in HER custody because after all, SHE had 4 kids. There's sinply no reasoning with a crazy liar, whoever said that!

Anonymous said...

I completely agree with OP. the situation is out of control. It stems from white guilt. Let's be vigilant people. Theses are our children. Anyone who thinks most nannies are angel are misguided. Pull your head from the sand and PAY ATTENTION!

Anonymous said...

Yeah Cali,
Ain't famiy grand?! My own sister is a lot like your sister in her own way (Like the way they both like to act negligently towards their children and then brag and laugh about it a parties...and the lies, oh the lies!)...and yes, although it's sad, life is easier when they are off pouting.

My sis is mad at me because she wrote to my kids (behind my back) telling them that she had the secret to God (Jehovaha's Witness), and that the religion my husband and I had exposed them to all their lives (A combo of Lutheran and Non-Denominational Christian)was a fake and a sham designed to decieve them and lead them away from God, (my kids showed mne the e-mails) I and I wrote back to tell her that, as far as I am concerned, her religion is the far more questionable one, and that she could not speak to my children about religion again...for which she decided that I am abusive and unsupportive. Huh?

Actually, I feel a little bad for mine because I think she sort of can't help it...as in, something doesn't add up inside her mind. She started getting this way when she hit adolescence...which is when some mental disorders show themselves, so this is what I suspect. Is this the same time frame during which your sister's erratic behavior first appeared? I love her...but it's pretty hard to take a lot of her nonsense, so it is easier, and yet still sad.

Anonymous said...

Mom, your sister sounds like a real piece of work too.

We used to argue a lot when we were teenagers, basically just because she is usually rude and bitchy and bossy. As I got older, and especially after I met my hubby and he observed our interactions and how he felt she treated me, I was less and less tolerant of her treatment, and she is always infuriated by people who don't let her push them around. Basicall, just like the case of the painting, she gets vindictive and angry when she can't win.

The main problem with her now is not JUST that she is insufferably nasty and rude, but she is also back-stabbing and deceitful. In fact, if she is not being nasty, it means she is up to something. I've mentioned how, when my son was first born and in the NICU, I found out by browsing his medical chart that she had, out of the clear blue, contacted the hospital social worker and told them that my husband was "abusive" and our home life was "tenuous". I have never confronted her about this, as a crazy liar does not deserve the honesty of a direct confrontation, but I suspect she did it because she hates my husband, at least in part because he also refuses to be bullied by her, and hoped to cause some problems for our family.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for all my typos again.

And, she did this just as she was dripping honey all over the both of us, inviting us to dinner, giving him warm hugs (which she had NEVER done before!), and acting super nice. Thing is, IF she really suspected he was abusing me, she could have approached our dad, my other sister, my best friend, our aunt who is a family counselor or someine else to intervene. But if she mentioned it to any of those people, they'd know she was just lying, and it wouldn't cause any problems for us with social workers, law enforcement, family court, etc.

Anonymous said...

Cali mom
That is downright despicable for your sister to call CPS or any other authority on you. I loathe people that do things like that out of vengeance or meanness. It is pure evil.

Anonymous said...

when you're raising other people's children, you can charge whatever the hell you want, thank you very much! :)

Anonymous said...

OMG Calimom,
She is just like my sister! My mom and sister decided, out of the clear blue that my husband is abusive because, in a nutshell, all men are abusive. (And, BTW, just like with you, it was other people who started pointing out to me just how crappy they were to me. I guess 'cause when you're used to it it just seems sort of normal.) Then, after a bunch of really outrageous things happened with my son after he was born (which I believe I have written on here before...but they are WAY OVER THE TOP)we decided that they could not be alone with him anymore (they were actually lucky we let them see him at all)they decided we were both abusing him, and not only told other people that, but there was always the threat of a cps call. I have long suspected my sister told my then doctor that she suspected my husband was abusing me because right after she all of a sudden out of the blue decided to go to my doctor he started questioning me about every single bruise I had, every time I was in his office...and looked at me in an accusatory way when I said I didn't remember where one came from.
One night at my sister's wedding rehearsal dinner I overheard my son, then 9, at the next table discussing alcohol consumption with my sister as a cool thing. (See why she couldn't be trusted with him?) I called him over to my table and quietly told him that children drinking alcohol was a very, very serious matter and it was inappropriate for him to discuss it in such a way. I didn't blame him at all, so I wasn't even mad at him, or even reprimanding him, but I did want to nip the idea of alcohol being cool right in the bud. I was being very quiet, so my mom pulled a chair up right beside him, stuck her head in, and listened. Then she all of a sudden went crazy telling me LOUDLY that I was engaging in child abuse. Huh? There were families sitting there, aghast, who I had known all my life. They had not overheard my conversation with my son and so had no way to know that I wasn't being cruel to him. It was totally humiliating, and people at other tables were looking at us, so I decided it was time for us to go. When we got up to go, my mom looked at my dad, and wailed very loudly anbd dramatically, "Don't let them hurt him!" OMG, you can just imagine how humiliating that was. And, as you may have gathered by now, my kids are my life...so not only was it embarrassing, but it was a big "you suck at everything that matteres to you" too. Fortunately, that pissed my normally very quiet dad off, and he let her know, in front of everybody, that she was off her rocker.
Then, my sister decided to follow me outside to where the valet parking was, and proceeded to scream at me...and I mean SCREAM...probably a five minute diatribe about how it sucked that I loved my dad...when she and my mom had decided that he, too, was completely abusive. OMG. I didn't even know where that topic came from...and I just kept thinking that if this was a movie, nobody would even believe it. Everybody was staring at us (which I hate), so finally I just ran inside to wait ('cause we had come with somebody else and had to wait for them to leave) with the people who were gathered around waiting for tables. Her skanky friend then proceeded to get right in my face and scream at me that I was a F****** B**** for ruining her rehearsal dinner...along with about a 30 second stream of profanity and accusations. (Obviously a lot of drinking had gone on at their table.)

Anyway, was she sorry? NO! Not only that, but she wrote to me a couple of years back and told me how upset she still is that I ruined her rehearsal dinner (10 years ago!)...and she copied extended family members on the e-mail, who weren't even there to see what really happened! So I wrote back the actual facts from the evening and she went ballistic! WHY would I involve other people in my e-mail response, she wanted to know? Huh? Because she wrote to all of them that I all of a sudden started crying hysterically in the restaurant about my dad being abusive all my life? Huh? That's how she remembered it!! Or said she remembered it anyway! Crazy! CRAZY!!!(She was at that time trying to convince me that I secretly hated my dad, but didn't even realize it consciously, because he was abusive to us...which he was not ever. And, besides my husband, I am closer to my dad than any other adult person in the world.)

Anonymous said...

Oh and my sister in law just lies, lies ,lies. We are uncertain as to whether she believes her lies or not...but they are of the self serving variety as opposed to the off the wall loony variety.

She seems to enjoy being in turmoil...having people around her mad at each other, but liking her best, so she upsets family members at one another and then relishes in being at the center of the controversy...calling each party repeatedly to discuss and then all other family members, and any current friends as well, to dish all the gossip.
She also seems to be very interested in being her parent's favorite, so she makes up...just plain makes up...stuff to say about her brothers and their families to the parents....which they always seem to believe. None of her brothers care for her, although all remain polite to her...and she doesn't even seem to mind since mommy loves her best. (Although her dad has seen her "other" side and is becoming increasingly disgusted with her.)

And she is the one who is always also insulting people with her advice, obeservations and selfish demands.

My husband and I just take the lesson of his sister and mine as a cautionary tale about spoiling one kid. It does nobody any favors...least of all the "favorite", because that kid will be unable to function normally in the real world when they grow up. They don't seem to understand when the rest of the world doesn't think they are the only person in the entire world who matters.

Anonymous said...

My Nanny
A poem by Erin

N Nasty
A Argumentative
N Negative
N Nuisance
Y Yolanda

Anonymous said...

erin,
And yet you keep paying her to watch your children?

ERIN:

E Easier than finding another nanny

R Rate is cheap and don't want to pay more?

I I just want it all from a surly $7.00 an hour babysitter?

N No way am I gonna pay what it would take to get my child a top notch professional nanny.

Just kidding Erin. But really, get rid of her and get a good nanny. Your child deserves better.

Anonymous said...

Mom: O M G. We must be related and didn't know it. My sister also hates my dad and insists to anyone who will listen and lies to people who have never met him that he is abusive. I make essentially no efforts to contact her though she unfortunately lives about 10 minutes away from me. I realized a few years ago that the ONLY reason she ever contacts me or makes any thinly veiled attempts at being polite, let alone warm, to me, is that she wants to be close to my son. But when we found out within weeks of his birth what she had tried to do, we agreed then and there that she would NEVER be alone with him until he is at least 18, or plenty old enough to understand what she really is and know better than to beieve any lies she might try to plant in his mind. And she is just clearly seething because I did NOT end up after pregnancy 50 lbs heavier, overwhelmed, miserable and unloved/unhelped by my husband, begging for her to come to my rescue and help me out of my hopeless state of misery.

Jill said...

Wow. Maybe the difference is, I don't really care how my local Target employee treats the boxes on the shelf as much as I care how much my nanny treats my child.

I mean, by this kind of logic, maybe we should pay every working person minimum wage as a reminder they are not in charge. Remind me to point this out to my lawyer, doctor, and realtor.

Anonymous said...

Cali,
What happened to these girls?!
Look up this psychlogical disorder and see if it describes your sister:
Hystrionic Personality Disorder

I self diagnosed my sister with this. My cousin actually found it...because her sister is just like mine. We can point to some very real childrearing practices that we think led to this...the main one being that they were both favored in a sick, overboard way. And both are youingest children. Any similarities with that?

Anonymous said...

Mom, I'll look that up. I'm actually the youngest of 3, she is in the middle. I think in some ways she had the classic "middle child" treatment-being neither the oldest or the youngest, always felt left out when it came to parental consideration, and I know she WAS a major pain in the butt even as a child and most likely drove my parents crazy, and she probably suffered even MORE of that middle child syndrome because she made herself so unlikeable, and my parents were not very good at parenting, to be honest. There wasn't much discipline at all, and then my mom would get really frustrated by us and react emotionally, and my dad was pretty oblivious to everything and uninvolved, and then they got divorced.

Anonymous said...

OK, just going by Wikipedia, this doesn't sound like her at all. I wouldn't say she has great social skills, and doesn't seek approval from anybody for anything. Which doesn't make her a "strong woman" or anything noble, it just means that if she has said she will do something for someone for instance, she'll blow it off with no concerns whatsoever if she decides it inconveniences her in any way, and blame someone else for not planning better than to expect her to complete her responsibility. And feels the world revolves around her and owes her everything and everyone else can just get screwed. And she has never given a flying fig about her looks. In fact, she took the outspoken attitude when her kids were young that anyone who had time to style their hair or apply any makeup clearly had nothing important to do with THEIR time. And any woman who is not 50 lbs overweight (she has to easily weight 200 lbs) is just caving in to shallow sexist obsessions with their weight or must be bulimic. I don't know what her disorder is, but she is damaged for sure.

Anonymous said...

Delusions of omnipotence pretty much sums her up.

Anonymous said...

raising others kids is great deed but if you are getting respect than its gud but if you are doing for your happiness its again a good thing there is nothing better than this..........well that's what i think... atleast

Anonymous said...

Cali,
I haven't read it in a while, but I think I interpreted the part about seeking social approval differently than you. My sister will bow somebody off in a heartbeat too...with an excuse like, "I needed to get my nails done." But at a party, or really any place there are poeple, she HAS to be the center of attention...even if this means going for shock value...which, unfortunately it where it almost always ends up, because its really the only way to keep attention focused on herself for an extended period. (Like the stories of how she did some neglectful thing as a parent, as if it is funny...or perhaps endless untrue or grossly exaggerated tales of her having been abused and victimized by (Put any name here). People like to be around her because she is fun and full of excitement at all times...but I fear that even her true friends lack real respect for her. (Of course, some of her friends are just as nutty anyway.)

But my sister is pretty and of a good weight and all that...and she tries to look nice.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Whoever you are just made me so angry!! Seriously! This post is such crap..you want to know why I make the money I make? I care for a living human being! I do not flip dead cow! I am certified in CPR, First Aid, and anything else there is to be certified in. I may have to safe your child's life! I make important decisions every day! I am college educated, and I am American. Hire legally and quit your complaining! Wow, you must not deem your children very precious if you can't fork out $30,000-$40,000 a year to a qualified, loving, experienced, professional person for your CHILD! If you cannot afford one of these nannies, take your child to daycare or stay home!

9:45 PM

RE-POST FOR ANONYMOUS!!!

Anonymous said...

SO WHAT. You care for a human being. So does a nursing assistant.

Stop feeling so entitled and stop bilking the american people.

Nannies should make $9 an hour and be taxed on that. That is MY opinion.

Eat it.

Anonymous said...

this posting makes me SICK. I have been a nanny for 6 years. I'm college educated and qualified to care for children. Guess what moron?(sorry but you are) who pays for my independant health insurance that comes to 200/month I DO. Who pays for my gas? I DO and I pay taxes fed and state always have always will. I CHOOSE to do all this so when I run into idiots like you who think they know everything and talk out of their ass I can smile say your WRONG turn around and leave you with those thoughts. Have a good day I hope a convict does not end up being your child's nanny HEY they will work for 6.75/hour :) you should think about it really!

Anonymous said...

LOL @ these cheapskates. Hey how much do you think you deserve for the crappy job that you do? I doubt you deserve getting paid what you get paid for doing what?

While $20 an hour is overpriced for a nanny, $10-$15 is NOT. It's a fair rate, that is, if your children is well taken care of.

Would YOU watch 2 or 3 kids for $9/hr? Ask yourself that question