Received Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Horrible childcare sighting today at The Rudin Playground on West 96Th Street, just before noon.
The woman was white betw. 50-70, short, greying hair that covered her ears, grey sweatshirt with 3 squares of design across the chest, knit pants in black, smart shoes.
Child was betw.2 1/2-4. Thick, brown hair that was wavy. Blue eyes, white child wearing a blue cord jacket over a white shirt and blue jeans.
What happened: The nanny who I have seen once before sitting on a bench facing the opposite way of the child and reading was again sitting on the bench. She looked up, noticed something and called the child over. I want to say the child's name was Morgan but I am not 100 percent sure. The child had apparently wet his pants. The woman smacked him on the face. The child started to cry. She stood up with her newspaper and left the park with the child. She was clearly aggravated.
**This may have been a grandmother, but that doesn't make it okay!
54 comments:
so sad. another case of child abuse. i would never NEVER slap a child in the face, and i think most people would agree.
well there is no law against smacking your own child. and grandparents do raise thir children's children so I dont know what I would have done in this situation. I once tries to say something to a mother who started spanking her child in the checkout aisle of the store. What did she do? Promised him he was going to really get it when he got home. I felt terrible!
I would never slap a child, so sad.
And children wet their pants...Itz called not making it to the potty in time....
Itz NEVER OK to slap a child...
Why is it always the caregivers fault that the child didn't say anything about having to go to the bathroom. I bet if there was some candy or snack that they wanted they could open their mouth and say "I want it" but if they have to stop playing to use the bathroom they don't want to do that. I don't care call me a bad parent or whatever but if I am out and my child didn't open their big mouth to say "Mom, I need to use the bathroom" I am going to give them a smack when they get home. Not a BEATING a smack. Depending on the age. If my kid is 3 its not okay but OVER 3 thats just sad. Kids should know by now when they need to use the bathroom.
I would take great joy in smacking the crap out of you. In fact, you just might piss yourself.
756..you are way out of line and sound just as ignorant as 741...congratualations!
4:16. There are laws against hitting your own, or any child, in some countries. There was a recent attempt to pass a no spank law in Calif.
I find it hard to believe there are still parents who think hitting your child is good parenting.
A nanny
4:16
I don't know about the laws in NY but in Ohio you can't hit a child anywhere but on a clothed bottom with an open hand, and you can't have any anger management issues or it is considered child abuse.
7:41:
You better hope you have someone like homeboy on 1 Ford Road in Irvine watching you if you pull that crap, but if it's me you'll get a smack right back.
I actually think I know this child and I have emailed this page to someone who can tell the mother.
Did this child have a very big, round face?
And 7:41 - Someday, if you should live so long, you'll be in a nursing home and someone might have to change your diapers. I hope your caretaker is more patient with your accidents than you are with your own flesh and blood. Do yo have ANY understanding of a child's physical and mental development? Go read a book. Then find a good therapist for your kids. They need it.
7:41,
You are an idiot, and I feel so sorry for your kids. Children have accidents; they make mistakes. A little patience, a little compassion, a little tenderness, and maybe next time your child will remember.
I send your child a hug. You I send a slap across the face.
Smacking a child described as between 2 1/2- 4 in the face for an accident is not acceptable and if you have concerns about what you witnessed, you could report the incident to the DCF hotline (or a similar type agency in NY) to investigate in case of child abuse. If she does this at a park in front of others, one can only imagine what goes on at home! If she were my child's nanny or grandmother, that would be the last visit or day of work for them. As for the woman in the check out aisle, she is disgusting and I would have reported her threat to the child along with the in store spanking too. If DCF, or police, find there is no abuse, then at least you did what you could in case of child abuse for a child not old enough to take care of themself.
7:41 you must be be posting just to antagonize the readers and instigate raging arguments. If you are truly serious, you have no business being a parent. Please hire yourself a good Nanny.
The real truth is that until we all adopt a zero tolerance policy against those who hurt children, whether they are parents or not- this cycle of abuse will continue and continue. That is why predators need to be locked up for life. One strike and you are out.
We need to take grand action against those that harm children. I am talking about perverts, pedophiles, abusive nannies, smack happy mommies, militant grandmas and emotionally abusive parents.
Gimme a break with the "its never okay to spank a child" speech. I have seen kids spit at their parents, hit them, swear at them, and call them names. Most of these kids are under the age of 12. I have worked in childcare for all of my life and have 2 children of my own who I occassionally spank. My daughter who is 10 got spanked once after calling me stupid. Never again. Not with an object with my hand. I would never spank a child that was under my care but my own, hell yes. Why should someone who is not paying my bills, and feeding my children tell me how to raise them? I pay taxes. My mother spanked me when I was younger and I went to an very good college, have a wonderful career, and healthy children. I have no resentment towards them. When I was growing up I was never told to call the police on my parents because they spanked me for doing something that I KNEW I wasn't suppose to do. Now adays I get pamphlets telling my children to call the police or tell an adult their in danger if I even raise my voice at them. Kids get away with so much now its crazy. Being a teacher I see alot. I worked for a nanny for 3 years and I had kids that would swear at me and hit me and their parents would say that they were "expressing" themselves and that raising my voice was not appropriate. How are children suppose to learn boundaries? I am a teacher now and I am known for being strict. I have students that swear, call other girls bitches, and talk to adults like they are on the playground. And how they talk to their parents is even worse. I have seen parents cry because their child would cuss them out. But as a society its wrong to disipline your child. Supernanny can only help you so much after that your own your own. I know I am going to get alot of backlash for my comments but I am speaking how I have felt for a long time. My kids are fine. They are respectful, get on the honor roll in school and are very involved in their community. They are very well rounded.
First of all, no adult should ever slap a child in the face. A woman at the grocery store ripped me a new when when I told her to be careful, as a parent you only get one chance to raise a respectful citizen. What a blow to her 3-4 year old's pride/ego/self-worth!! I almost started crying.
1149, thank you. If used appropriatly, spanking is not always harmful. It's only when a parent/caregiver crosses the line from disipline to abuse. It's a thin line, but a caring and nuturing parent/caregiver will not cross it. I have spanked my son when time outs, hugs, or just whispering quietly to gain his attention did not work.
BUT, I will not let anyone tell me I am a bad parent because I spank. AND, a lot of people tell me my son has wonderful manners, because we do not let him run all over us. There are a lot of parents/caregivers that need to step up to plate. There is NEVER an acceptable reason why a child should be allowed to get away with cussing, hitting or spitting on their parents or their caregiver. I know a few parents who will not spank or punish their children in any way, and are those kids brats!! And do not get me started on how disrespectful kids are with their elders and people of athority!
My mother never spanked me, but she screamed and yelled and threw things, especially her shoes, at me....which I think is worse. Back to the post, I would never ever slap a child in the face, thats so wrong!
I also agree that used correctly, spanking can be a great "shock" factor. You can be loving and nurturing, but time out does not always work! As a nanny, I would never spank the children in my care, but as a parent, you bet ya!
When the two-and-a-half year old I care for hits his brothers or sisters I get down right in his face and say, "You are not allowed to hit!"
And then I ask, "Do I EVER hit you?"
The answer will ALWAYS be NO! And it will be NO! with my own kids as well. I understand that there will be many times when I will want to turn them over my knee, but I will want to teach an absolute fact: Violence is NEVER the answer. For that kind of moral teaching, you can't have it be a "do as I say, not as I do."
I really don't think there is any argument that would ever make me want to abandon that moral high ground.
Your (LACK OF) class shows when you strike a child. When people argue about how children should be hit, I assume they've married their cousins.
Now I'm thinking half of the post on here are B.S. don't you people have anything better to do!!!!
I personally can see both sides of the spanking debate. But I am relieved to see that (thus far) no one on these silly boards is jumping to the defense of someone who hit a young child in the face. I cannot fathom any circumstance in which I would find that acceptable. I think for me, that arises from the belief that if you do choose corporal punishment for your child, it is only acceptable if you can stop yourself from punishing in anger. A slap in the face, on the other hand, instantly betrays the caregiver's personal emotional investment in the situation and tells a child that to hit out of anger is justifiable.
Half the comments? Is that what you mean? I would love to think that a report of someone striking a child in the face was BS but it is not. Did you see the video caught on the parking lot camera of the nanny beating the hell out of the two year old? She literally pulled her car into a parking lot with the specific intent to beat the kid there. And yes, she was caught!
1:27 am
"I know a few parents who will not spank or punish their children in any way..."
The key is that the parents don't punish them "in any way." There are a lot of ways to discipline children without spanking them. Hitting a child (spanking is hitting no matter how you try to defend it) teaches violence.
I will never hit my child. But I will discipline her and teach her to respect me and others. I don't need to spank her for that to happen.
The point that 11:49 is trying to make is that you can't let other people tell you what you can or can not do to your own kids. I totally agree with 11:49 and after reading I applauded her because I am the mother of 2 children and I used occassionally spank my children. I feel that it is okay. Sometimes it only gets the job done temporaily. I do other punishments that make my point very clear. My daughter who is now 16 USED to get horrible grades. When she was 15 She also was VERY disrespectful to me and her father who gave her what we didn't have. A good education, a gorgeous house, designer clothes, huge birthday parties and vacations. She also never had a nanny. We were always there for her. She went to school with other children who were evil to their parents. I am talking about swearing, talking back and getting bad grades. Well my daughter thought she was going to do the same. I nipped that in the bud real quick. I used to spank her and stopped when she was 10. She was getting HORRIBLE grades. She was bringing home Ds and Cs and Fs. That is not acceptable when we're paying through the nose for her to attend school. I went to get her tested to make sure she didn't have any learning disabilites because I wanted to make sure I wasn't punishing her for something she couldn't help. After talking to her teachers, I came to the conclusion that she was just lazy so I took EVERYTHING out of her room. No radio, no television, no phone, no cellphone, no money no anything. For 1 year or her grades dramatically moved up and she learned to respect us. It was right around Christmas so I got her a tutor for her Christmas present and a gift card for Barnes and Noble. That was it. Her sister who is a staight A student had a decent Christmas. She got a tutor also to help her improve on a subject of her choice. She also got an IPOD for a REWARD her for getting good grades and respecting us. People thought I was harsh but I don't care. She was attending a very very good private school and didn't appreciate the type of education she was getting. So I removed her and put her in public school I am not saying that there is anything wrong with public school but I wanted her to see the difference, and I made her wear Wal Mart clothes and took away her designer handbags and clothing and donated them to charity. It was a wakeup call. She now is 16 and she she thanks me for waking her up to let her see what she has. My other daughter is now 14 and she is a straight A student and we still talk about the worst year in my older daughter's life. Other parents thought we should be arrested because we were making our daughter "inadequate" and emotionally damaging her. Yeah because we took away her Gucci bag and cellphone and put a pen and notebook in her hand. Wow just shows you why kids are as screwed up as they are now. Like 11:49 said Supernanny can only help you for for so long but after that your on your own.
a tutor for a christmas present? are you an army sargeant or what?
Jeez. You punished the crap out of your child for your overindulgences!
Now, what do you want? Applause?
Bad kids never spontaneously occur. They are the result of their environment. And what I find really amusing is picturing her parental lineage? Daughters imitate their mothers. Is mama dearest all about the gucci (blah italian ghetto) pocketbook? Is mama a lazy sad sack?
Be a good role model for your children. It isn't rocket science. Birds do it, apes do it. Zebras do it.
3:44-My jaw his the keyboard after reading yer post, and I must say, I think you did the right thing.
Yer not an army sargeant, but a parent who wants the best for their children...that's called discipline
Ok back to the OP for a sec. I nanny a 6 year old who wets thier pants on purpose. Meaning if we need to run an errand and they are ready to go she will wet her pants. If she doesn't want to sit at the table anymore and finish her food she will wet her pants. She knows good and well that I can not let her walk around in public in her peed pants so she gets what she wants by having to leave a place or at least interupt it to change her clothes (which she will just pee in again as soon as possible). I have talked to the parents about this, but they seem to think it's a medical problem where she can not help it, but it seems a little fishy she never wets her pants when we are out doing things she likes. What is a solution for all this?
925-
the solution is psychotherapy.
and 3:44,
You were the fool that gave your daughter things without requiring anything of her. How dare you place the blame on your child! I am fortunate to be of substantial means, and I can do for my children anything I want; but my children get up every morning, make their beds, bring the laundry downstairs, make breakfast, they do homework as soon as they get home from school, a C is an indulgence for the average and they volunteer (give back and show gratitude)by doing community service atleast once per week. And all of these things evolved on their own. They do what I do. Or what my husband does.
I just cringe at what I imagine is the look of smug satisfaction on your ignorant face.
Raise your children right. From the start. If you want them to respect you and the world, TREAT THEM with respect!
!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, but your post has me spitting nails.
I am the original writer of the 3:44 post and I would like to respond to the weirdo that compared being a parent to bird, zebra and apes. First of all you have problems. I don't have to explain myself to anyone. You don't know me. I didn't post that to get applause from anyone. I posted it to make a point. First of all you don't know me. I came from a very very poor country. I came to America to get an education after my parents saved for years. My family was ripped apart. Women there get raped everyday. My mother has gotten beaten, raped and tortured JUST to keep me safe and to send me to America. I am a damn good role model to my children. I went through things the first 12 years of my life that I would not wish to talk about on this board but it was really traumatic. I came here, got my education. I knew NO English when I came here. I ended up graduating top of my class, went to an ivy league school and became a doctor. I now had enough money to send my mother here which is something I am very proud about. I am very big on education and my daughters knew that. My aunt got killed for trying to get an education so you are damn right that I am going to be strict on my childrens education. I had nothing and I respected my parents. My daughter was hanging out with kids who were making bad choices. I got her away from that. She was hanging with kids that were smoking weed, drinking, and disrespecting their parents. Want to know where they are now? 2 got kicked out of school and one is in rehab for a drug problem. My daughter did not get a Christmas because she did not DESERVE one, not because I was trying to be mean. Calling me a bitch and stupid was not acceptable. And because I bought her a Gucci bag for her birthday its my fault. You don't know what she had to do for that bag either. She had to bring me home straight As for a whole semester she also had no birthday party if she got the bag. She worked her ass off. Her actions had nothing to do with me "over indulging" her like you call it. Her items were gifts for good behavior and good grades. When the good behavior and grades left so did her privileges and gifts. I got her a tutor as her Christmas gift because she needed one. I don't know any parent that would reward their child with gifts after they were calling them names and getting bad grades. For that I am at fault. I told her to skip school with her friends and engage in less than acceptable behavior. I pay over $9000 to send my children to school. I expect good grades. That is all I ask. She felt that her friends were more important. Her friends weren't going to help her when graduation comes and she can't walk with her class because she failed. When that happens that means I have failed as a parent. So for me helping her realize things early on in life I am a bad parent. If that is the case I need someone to take my kids away from me. You must not have children. If you do I would love to see how you react when they become teenagers and feel that their social life is more important that their education. And you are a bitch because their friend is having a party at 15 and no adult is there to supervise them. I am very into my children's social life. I talk to my kids about drugs, drinking and sex. I am not bad. I have a friend who took her daughter to get the shot (for birth control) when she was 13. Kids are going to do whatever they are going to do. As a doctor I have 12 year old girls that come in for pregnancy tests, STDs. Do you know how many girls from ages 12-18 come in and are positive for STDs and AIDS. Their parents are in denial and won't correct the problem. And its not "POOR" girls that see me I work in an affluent area and have a private practice and they come and see me every day. So yes I am going to help my children succeed because no one else will. Some girls lives are over with one blood test. I am going to try to prevent that from happening to my children and at the same time preparing them for the "just in case" moments and the "accidents". So talk what you know. Mama is not a lazy ass. Mama has worked her ass off and is living the American dream with her husband and 2 children.
canceling her birthday? a tutor for christmas? you sound like a gestapo. maybe when you are in a nursing home, she will hire the us marines to rub A&D ointment on your tender shanks.
9:29, it's not medical if she can control it when she wants to. But it is a control game. Does she have any control over anything else in her life? It sounds like she's rebelling in the only way she has. I knew a little boy who refused willfully not to potty train until pretty much the day before school began because his life circumstances were always changing. Being told he would not be allowed to go to school with his friends if he was in a diaper changed that. Using the potty or not gives children power. Maybe you can give this little girl more responsibilties and choices (like what clothes to wear, a choice of foods for lunch, etc.); and natural consequences for intentionally peeing her pants like having to help you wash her clothes from start to finish, losing privileges or fun outings, things like that. That way it is her choice: pee your pants = boring. Also, is she getting enough attention? For kids negative attention is better than none. You could do more grown-up things with her like bake cupcakes, draw pictures or other low-key together time. Good luck. Doesn't sound like the parents are taking this at all seriously. Hope she gets better.
11:42 you had me on your side with your first post, but even more so now. Way to stand your ground.
238, punish them, disipline them, call it what you will. I do know that when I was little, I had my backside swatted when I stepped out of line. You better believe that I was never disrespectful to my elders, used bad words or EVER told my parents I hated them. Those swats only happened when a stern word or even a stint kneeling in the corner did not work.
The people I know who do not punish their kids do not disipline them either. They always laugh off their childrens bad behavior on a number of excuses. No nap. Picked up that word from TV. Whatever. I call that bad parenting, because they do not try to correct the situation.
As for myself, I do not jump to spank. While I feel used correctly, spanking works, other methods of "disipline" work better. My son does really well with time outs, our preffered punishment. And of course we always talk about what he did to earn that time out, followed by hugs and kisses.
But please, do not confuse spanking with slapping a child in the face. Unless the parent/caregiver crosses the line.
To Jo the Nurse,
Stop talking nonsense. Maybe if more of the overindulged children of our country found themselves in the same situation, they would wake up, and start appreciating what their parents give to them. I am sure Gucci purse mom is just one of many similar situations out there. Parents from poor backgrounds sacrificing to give their children the best. And if you read carefully, you'll notice her children were never spoiled, that their grades determined their rewards.
My father moved to the US after WW2, with nothing to his name. His family had been displaced from Yugoslavia by the communists. Their businesses, their homes, their livelihoods were lost. They trudged up to the land of their forfathers, Germany. After the war, things were hard. He and his first wife were only able to buy four eggs at a time. Meat? Not likely. Here, they had a chance to raise their family. They lived very modestly, but enjoyed the simpler things life had to offer. And his children brought home good grades and were rewarded.
Forward to his second marriage, and me as a child. I had to bring good grades home from school. A C would not earn a bike for me. I worked very hard on my grades to earn my rewards. Now the lessons my father taught me are slipping away. My son is overindulge, like many other American children.
Where does this entitlement come from? Why don't children know what the word want means? If you hand over everything they want, the feeling of entitlement grows. I'm sure a lot of you watch Dr. Phil. Anyone see the segment on overindulged children? Scary.
SO, Gucci purse mom. Thank you. My eyes are opened a little bit wider. Seeing your perspective is enlightning. My dad may lecture me on buying so many toys for my toddler, but your story serves as a warning. I need to start allowing my son to earn his rights. If I am ever in the situation you found yourself, I am now armed. And GOOD FOR YOU!! Your daughter now shows the respect she should, and you got her away from the bad kids she hung out with. Kudos to you!!
Whoever posted the 11:42 post has serious problems and too much time on their hands. Impostering someone and acting like you are them is really sad way to try to get attention. I never was a doctor and never grew up in another country. I have heard about crazy people online but never like this. I would like this post removed because I didn't write it. It makes no sense. I couldn't even read it, it was crazy. I would however like to respond myself to some of the posts on here. First of all I never cancelled my daughter's birthday. For 1 year she was not allowed to hang around her friends because I did not approve of their influence around her. They were doing inappropriate things that I didn't agree with. I grounded my daughter for a year. So what. I ground kids all the time. I ground your kids in school for not doing their homework. If they don't do their homework they miss recess. If they continue not to bring their homework when there are school activites they will stay and make up the work their parents refused to have them do at home. My daughter did her homework everynight. I made sure of that. It was when she was in school with her friends when she started to act out. Her friends were the best but she failed to realize that her friends were not going to be there when she failed. Like 11:42 said. Although the 11:42 poster is a little wacked she/he did make good points. My daughter did have a Christmas. She just didn't get what she wanted. She got what she needed. A tutor. And a gift card. To get books. She seemed to be lacking in that department so I got her what she needed. I am not in any way calling my child stupid but her teacher said she failed to do her required reading for the month so I got her a gift card to pick up the books she needed. As her grades progressed she got privilages. I also don't know any parent that would reward their child for bad behavior. I don't care if its Christmas or not. I could have really been evil and not have gotten her anything. If parents don't start at home teaching their children who else is going to teach her right from wrong? Paris Hilton, Britney Spears? I don't think so. Instead of downing me for trying have my children not act like them focus more attention on your own instead of posing as other people online and calling me names. I am proud of my children and my daughter even more for realizing that what I did was because I loved her and not because she was a bad kid.
Ah, the wise JMT!! I was just wondering your thoughts on 1142. Just as I thought. :)
Um, yeah, that long post agreeing with her was me, the JMT admirer.. relieved you're on my side of the fence on this one...
Goodnight everyone!! Play nice!!
A 6 year old wouldn't have a mdical problem that only causes her to pee when it's inconvenient for you.
However, some kids bedwet at night until they are 6 or 7 and truly cannot help it.
does anyone get the feeling that gucci purse mom is posting and responding to her own comments? no one else is that long winded. me thinks there is a drinker on board.
ah, 9:29 AM
I NEVER threw my shoes at you. Those were YOUR shoes and you should have put them away.
But 332, mommy dearest, maybe if you got your butt off the couch, I would have found them there, under you....
what in the hell are you two talking about? Do you need directions back to the yahoo crackenthusiasts group?
lighten up 604. or we'll thow our shoes at you....
558, 604 and 607, you seem to be going through great length to post idiotic things in response to this blog. Why?
I think you must be THE REAL MAMA who said " I have heard about crazy people online but never like this. I would like this post removed because I didn't write it"
You doth protest too much. Don't worry I write (and say) ridiculous things when I am loaded on Johny Walker red too!
something's wrong with gucci mom fer sure
My mom had a wicked aim with slippers and once accidentally nailed my brother in the nads from clear across the room! Of course she was immediately sorry, and of course we laugh about it to this day. Even my poor neutered brother. LOL. Actually, come to think of it, I inherited my wicked throwing arm from her and ALSO hit a guy in the nads with a softball. See?! Kids model on their parents!
And regardless of who wrote the long, possibly fake posts, I still agree in theory.
1259, sorry to hear there is a poser on this site. What they said still made sense, even though they are whack.
thursday night at 1 am? i'm guessing it was a drunkard.
-ms
BTW, has the OP checked back here yet? Could you give any further details about the boy's face or hair? Did you hear if the Nanny/Granny had an accent? I really think I know who this is and his mother would not agree with this kind of "potty training".
Good night.
I think something happened but I also think some of the comments posted about the Slaphappy Grandma or whoever she may have been were written under the influence!
This site is supposed to alert parents to bad nannies/childcare givers.
But 99 percent of the time it just shows how many wackos there are out there.
The only posts that educate are the ones for professional career nannies.
Now, that should be a clue....
11:37 It's a study of human nature, and from that everyone should learn.
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